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Felix would be the first to admit that he wasn’t necessarily a saint. He regularly copied off Hyunjin's calculus homework, because he couldn’t be bothered to figure out the longer problems for himself, not when it took so much brainpower. He left his dirty dishes in the sink and he waited too long to wash his laundry and it was still very unclear if he would always be bad at cooking, or if this was just a learning curve he would eventually overcome. Still, it really wasn’t one of his proudest moments when Hyunjin dared him to key his ex’s car, and Felix was actually considering it.
The two of them had just emerged from the Engineering Building, bleary-eyed and blinking against the harsh onslaught of sunlight, feeling like they hadn’t seen natural light in months—and perhaps that was somewhat true. Midterms season had been kicking Felix’s ass so far, and it was far from over, which meant more late nights at the library and more locking himself up in his apartment to study. On top of that, Jisung had just dumped him a couple weeks ago, completely out of the blue, as if the last seven months had meant absolutely nothing to him. According to social media, he was now off gallivanting with Lee Minho, who was older and better-looking and infinitely cooler than Felix could ever hope to be. His soulmate, something like that, and who was Felix to stand in the way of destiny, when he himself was nothing more than an exhausted Computer Engineering major struggling to get by? Overall, it was probably shaping up to be the worst school year of his life, and it wasn’t even halfway over yet.
Fuck, he hadn’t even loved Jisung, not like that. Felix had liked spending lazy afternoons together, kissing and talking over romantic comedies, and he’d liked the way that Jisung often sat with his arm slung around Felix’s shoulders, but it wasn’t like Felix saw their relationship progressing much more than that. It was just—too much to deal with, especially right now.
“I’m not keying Jisung’s car,” Felix said weakly, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. “It ended on good terms.”
Hyunjin scoffed. “Oh, please,” he said. “Just because you didn’t scream at him like you should’ve doesn’t mean that it ended on good terms.” He was perhaps even more upset than Felix was, because he had gotten close to Jisung the past few months, too, and was now claiming that he had been stabbed in the back by a vicious snake. Hyunjin reached into his jacket pocket, grabbing his own car keys and jangling them in front of Felix’s face. Felix had to blink several times, disoriented. “Fuck it, let’s just do it. Don’t you wanna take back some control over your life?”
And that—that was what got Felix, in the end. He was running on three hours of sleep, he had only eaten a single slice of plain toast for breakfast, and he could hardly keep his eyes open, but Jisung’s perfect red Volvo was right there . He told himself that he wouldn’t have agreed if he wasn’t so sleep-deprived, but whether that was true or not, Felix found himself steeling his shoulders, his expression strangely determined. “Okay, fine,” he heard himself say, “let’s do it.” He was almost never impulsive, but maybe it was time to start seizing the day. Maybe if he’d done that more often, then Jisung wouldn’t have left him.
Felix was kneeling by the driver’s side door of the car before he could think better of it. Hyunjin hovered over him to keep an eye out, trying to act natural, leaning against the hood of the Volvo. The first scratch of a wobbly line down the red paint sent blood rushing through Felix’s ears, the roar so loud that it overcame everything else in his mind, the rest of the world falling away. There was just this: the keys in his hand, the deep scratches appearing on Jisung’s car, and the rhythmic pounding of his heart, so loud that it rattled all the bones in his body, repressed anger turning his vision hazy before his eyes. Nothing else mattered but this.
As if in a trance, Felix lifted his hand from the S and started to etch out a T. Scratches for the precious time Jisung had wasted, scratches for all the times they’d laid together, kissing one another, touching one another. Every movement seemed to echo through his fingers, his wrist, all the way up his arm. Being this impulsive felt euphoric, releasing his pent-up energy he hadn’t known existed.
Fuck Han Jisung and Lee Minho. They were probably going to have some stupid destination wedding and exchange vows and have their first dance under the brilliant starlight by the beach, while Felix was going to be fucking alone forever, because that was just the way his life was destined to play out.
He was so focused that he almost didn’t hear it. Almost. A sudden sharp voice, cutting through the thick fog clouding his mind: “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
It sounded very faraway, probably meant for someone else, so Felix ignored the disturbance, eyes still fixed on the car. This was a typical college campus, after all, and there was always something unexpected going on, so it wasn’t much of a surprise. From beside him, however, Hyunjin straightened up, his brow furrowing. “Felix,” he said slowly.
“Wait, I’m almost done.”
“Uh, it’s not that.”
“Is it Jisung?”
“No, but—”
A sudden, ominous shadow fell over him, and Felix’s fingers faltered around the keys with an abrupt screech, a sound like nails on a chalkboard. He looked up, fully expecting Jisung and Minho to be standing there, like a pair of creepy twins sent from hell, but instead another boy was staring down at him, his arms crossed, an indecipherable expression on his face.
Felix recognized Kim Seungmin right away, with his slacks and white button-down that looked like it had been freshly ironed. They’d shared a couple classes in the past, though they’d never really held a proper conversation. Privately, he’d always thought that Seungmin was a bit boring, always sitting at the very front of the classroom, raising his hand to participate and ask questions in a monotonous voice. They ran in completely different social hemispheres, with Felix lounging around in the very back row, playing games on his phone to pass the time. Yes, Seungmin was pretty attractive, but there was no reason for them to ever talk. Until now, apparently.
“Umm,” Felix started to say, frozen in place. With paint flecks all over his hands, this looked bad. It would be just his luck if Seungmin and Jisung were somehow friends, and he just hadn’t known about it. He opened his mouth, closed it again, then said, “Can I help you?”
Seungmin laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Can you help me,” he repeated, as if that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. His face was very red. “Yeah, you can start by working on your spelling, for one.” Felix glanced at the car door, and then his heart dropped to the ground. “You spelled stupid bitch wrong,” Seungmin said helpfully, while Felix was still figuring out what to say. “On my fucking car.”
“Fuck,” Felix muttered. It really did say stupid bicth, which was just great. He was looking around for Hyunjin, but it turned out that he could run pretty fast when incentivized, because the parking lot was completely empty now, as if Hyunjin hadn’t been there at all. Seriously, everyone just kept leaving Felix behind. He started to get to his feet, still trying to find an excuse for keying his ex’s car, when suddenly the realization hit him like a sledgehammer, and he stumbled a little. “Wait, did you just say your car?”
“This is my car, yeah.”
“No, it’s not,” Felix said, a little stupidly. Seungmin just raised his eyebrow, pulling out his keys and pressing one of the buttons. Sure enough, the red Volvo let out a beep. The Volvo that, apparently, wasn’t Jisung’s. “Oh, fuck. Fuck.”
This was even worse than he’d imagined. Was this a crime? It probably was a crime. Fuck, Felix was going to get arrested, and who fucking knew where Hyunjin was, all while Jisung and Minho went off on their happy little honeymoon and shared a milkshake with one straw. Felix’s life as he knew it was over.
“This is a misunderstanding,” he blurted out, because it really was, and what else was there to even say?
Seungmin raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Is it, though?” he said at last, and yeah, he was really mad, his voice curt and controlled. Perhaps from afar he seemed calm, but the more Felix looked at him, he saw the way Seungmin’s hands were shaking, curling into fists. “I don’t see how you keying my car door could possibly be a mistake. People are going to think I’m the stupid bitch. Spelled wrong, by the way.”
“Okay, I get it, I can’t fucking spell,” Felix sputtered, before thinking better of it. He was in no position to be talking back to Seungmin right now. “I really am so sorry. Holy shit. I just—I thought this was someone else’s car.”
“Likely story.”
“No, I’m serious!” Something about the way Seungmin was staring expectantly at him was making Felix’s face flush a dull red. “My boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend. Jisung. Do you know Jisung? He was in one of our classes before, but whatever, it’s just—he has the same car, that’s all.”
Seungmin squinted. Looked up at the sky, as if to search for answers that Felix most definitely did not have. “Han Jisung?”
“Yeah, him,” Felix muttered. The name was painful in his mouth. “He fucking dumped me for his soulmate, whatever the fuck. And I’m just here. Pathetically keying your car.”
“His soulmate,” Seungmin said slowly. “You mean Lee Minho, right?”
“Yes, that’s exactly who I’m talking about. But that doesn’t excuse my actions. Seriously, I’m so sorry. I’ll pay for a repair, or a paint job, I don’t even know.” Felix really did not have the money to spare, but he was not going to leave Seungmin hanging after all this. Fuck, it would be so awkward if they shared another class in the future. Felix reached for his backpack, which he had propped up against the car, and started digging around for his wallet. “How much do you want?”
“What?”
“How much? For your car, I mean.”
“I don’t want your money,” Seungmin said, sounding faintly amused.
Felix scoffed. “Yeah, sure,” he said, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow him whole. “Just tell me an amount, and I’ll pay you. I’m really sorry.”
Seungmin blinked at him a couple times, as if he hadn’t been expecting that. “Well. I don’t really know how to say this any other way, but—my family has a lot of money.” Felix paused, his hands freezing around his wallet. Looking at Seungmin’s preppy clothes, the button-down shirt that seemed to be made of actual silk, he probably could’ve guessed that. “But I think you should just give me rides until I can get my car in the shop. I don’t want to be driving that shit in public.”
“Oh.” Felix’s face grew very warm, and he looked back at the car, where stupid bicth was still stark against the red paint. Didn’t miraculously disappear, then. “I actually don’t have a car. I don’t drive.”
“The fuck? How do you get around, then?”
“I just walk. Or my friend gives me a ride.” Wherever Hyunjin was, he truly didn’t know. It looked like Felix was going to have to walk today.
“Okay, then.” Seungmin’s eyes flicked back up to the sky, as if he was trying to settle something in his mind, and then he looked back at Felix. It was still hard to read the expression on his face, but at the very least, he didn’t seem as angry. “Wanna go find Jisung’s actual car, then? Or Minho’s?”
It was Felix’s turn to blink. “What? Why?”
Seungmin had already started walking further into the student lot, and Felix had to hurry to keep up. “You weren’t the only one who got dumped, you know,” Seungmin called over his shoulder. “I was dating Minho for about a year, so I get it. Really.”
“Uh,” Felix said. Now that the intoxicating adrenaline had stopped coursing through his veins, he just felt out of place, trailing behind a very determined Seungmin like a lost duckling. “Should we really be resorting to this?”
“What, would you rather go on a date?”
“Well—!” Seriously, was this some sort of test? Seungmin just kept surprising him over and over again. “I mean, if you’re offering,” Felix said weakly. “I’m not usually a vandal, I promise.”
Seungmin stopped in his tracks. Turned to look at Felix, letting his eyes linger on his mouth longer than necessary. “I am offering,” he murmured. “We should do that.” Then without another word, he whirled around again, already halfway down the parking lot, pointing at one of the cars. Sure enough, it was Jisung’s red Volvo, which was identical to the other Felix had keyed. Felix knew, because he made sure to check the license plate this time. “This is it, right?”
“Umm. Yeah.” Felix rubbed the back of his flushed neck. “I think we should just go on that date, though.”
“Oh, okay.” Seungmin sounded genuinely surprised, as if he’d really wanted to key Jisung’s car. It was impossible to reconcile the idea of him that Felix had projected—an uptight, predictable straight A student—with this smooth-talking boy who seemed very intent on vandalism. There was no way Felix could read him, he couldn’t tell what Seungmin was thinking at all—but he thought to himself that he might like to learn. “Are you free now?”
“Now as in, like, right now?”
“Yeah, why not. There’s a nice café nearby. Unless you have other cars you’re trying to key, of course.”
“I really don’t,” Felix said faintly. Seungmin just shrugged, a lazy smirk playing across his lips, and they fell into step together as they began to walk to the café.
They fought over who was paying for the drinks once they got there, Felix shoving Seungmin out of the way so he could press his card against the scanner, because it was honestly the least he could do, but if he hid a smile behind his hand when Seungmin said, “I guess I’ll just have to pay the next time,” that was no one’s business but his own. Maybe this school year was looking up, after all.