Archive of Our Own ^beta

After the whole fungal incident at uni, it was shut down for two weeks to give everyone time to recover. Grian was given off longer, about 4 weeks. All of his classes had been canceled, because a long time sub was difficult to get.

Now, as Scar watched his coworker in the lounge, staring blankly at his class papers, he wondered to himself if he needed more time. He considered going over, asking him if he's okay, if he wants something, needs something.

Instead, he cleared his throat and looked away, ears flushing when he realized Grian had looked up, caught him staring.

He tapped his pen against the table, hand going through his hair. Ever since Grian had been back, he hadn't been the same. It had been stressing Scar out.

Grian had been such a bubbly individual. At least, in Scar's eyes. Mischievous, smiley and kind, but now, Grian didn't smile, his tone was often monotone and he didn't do much of... Anything now. Past his classes, Scar can't recall a single time he's seen Jimmy get chased by Grian for his pen or glasses, or heard Grian crack up laughing at a pun that Mumbo cracked.

It was all Scar's fault.

The guilt had started as soon as Grian was free. He had looked so exhausted, so sick as Scar carried him out. If Scar didn't know any better, he would have considered checking for Grian's pulse, over and over, wanting to feel the subtle beat of blood.

It had only gotten worse when he didn't see Grian for a month. Mumbo and Jimmy kept him updated when he asked, but he could only ask so many times until Mumbo just gave him Grian's number, patted him on the back and told him to call.

He hadn't, yet.

The thought made him anxious. He couldn't imagine hearing Grian's monotone voice over the phone, and not breaking down. He hadn't been able to properly talk to Grian face to face, anyway. Over the phone probably wouldn't be better.

Scar sighed, leaning back in his wheelchair. All of this would have been easier if CuteGuy was still around, but no one had seen him in weeks.

He glanced back over to Grian, heart clenching with guilt. Maybe he can do something.

----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call!'

Scar deflated with relief, listening to the nearly giddy voice of Grian. It's as if he can hear the mischievous smile. His chest ached with something Scar couldn't quite place.

'Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

A note beeped, and Scar's heart rate increased, not actually knowing what to say.

"Uh, hi Grian!" He started, his voice slightly shaky. "It's Scar. Mumbo gave me your phone number a little ago, because I kept bugging him about checking in with you," he babbled, mentally slapping himself already.

This isn't where he wanted to go with this.

"Uhm," he staggered, words jumbling. "I hope you're doing okay, and that everything's fine, just get home safely!" He pinched himself, cringing at his awkwardness. "You don't have to call me back if you don't want to. Bye!"

He pressed end voicemail and deflated. He covered his face, embarrassment burning his face.

"Okay, that was possibly the most pathetic attempt at a check in that I've seen you do, Scar," Cleo commented, leaning back with a grin.

Scar slumped over his desk, letting out an embarrassed groan. "I know," he mumbled into the wood, ears burning.

Grian had cut hours, meaning he left basically in the middle of the day for everyone else. It made him nervous, leaving him alone again. In his mind, somewhere, the logic that he could protect Grian if it came to it again staggered.

Cleo leaned over, patting Scar's back. "Could be worse. You could have told him you hope he calls you back," they teased, earning a swipe from Scar.

"You're the worst," Scar complained, even when a smile pulled itself onto his face. He sighed, leaning his head against his arms. "Think he's okay?"

Cleo hummed, leaning back in her own seat before shaking their head. "No. He hasn't been the same, I don't think. Even Jimmy says so, and you know Jimmy."

Scar let out a defeated sigh, looking forwards at his computer. He did know. It hurt his heart.

He can fix this.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar shifted his phone against his shoulder, fiddling with his bow, waiting for the beep. He was halfway dressed as HotGuy when anxiety got the better of him, and he reached for his phone.

The beep sounded, and words tumbled out of him. "Hey Grian, sorry to call again, but Mumbo mentioned something about you wanting to spend more time with others at work," he bit his tongue for a second, hating to admit that he was asking about Grian as much as he could.

"I was wondering," he continued, fitting his legs properly into his boots, feeling the firm grip of the metal, "if you wanted to go out for lunch tomorrow. We can go to a local sit down place, or go to a bakery or something!"

Scar tried to sound chipper, as if his heart wasn't pounding in his chest. "That's all. Again, don't have to call me back if you don't want to! Bye!"

Scar pressed end voicemail, exhaling. He rubbed his face, feeling like a moron for simply not talking with Grian face to face. Yet, he couldn't make himself talk. Maybe as HotGuy, it'd be better....

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts as he moved to finish getting ready, fiddling with his phone before slipping it into his quiver. He knew Cub never recommended it, but it was easier than sewing a hidden pocket into his suit.

Scar rubbed his face, picking his mask and visor up, staring at them before putting them on, trying to muster up all the energy he has to be HotGuy.

He's got this.

----

He does not have this. His hands shook as he opened his phone, his body coming down from an adrenaline rush. He sat on an empty rooftop, mask off so he could breathe. He always hated wearing that thing, but Cub had insisted this time around.

Mumbo and Grian had called him. Anxiety curdled in his stomach as he swiped the notifications away, text messages popping up after them.

'Is it okay if Mumbo comes? Sorry I couldn't answer twice, I hope you don't mind.'

Scar exhaled in relief, reacting with a smiley and a thumbs up. He tapped his phone before writing a reply.

'Yeah, course! I like hanging with Mumbo, too.'

He added an emoticon, pressing send before laying onto the tough stone of the rooftop, scrolling through the rest of his messages. A few from Cub, one from Cleo and his missed call from Mumbo, followed by an apology about accidentally calling him.

He replied to a few people, sent Grian a cute cat video from Instagram before setting off again, pressing his phone against the back of his quiver, wanting to hear if Grian calls him.

This will be fine.

-----

Scar didn't really sleep that night. He was out on patrol a while. He still hadn't seen CuteGuy, and it was grating at his nerves with worry. Where was he? His Instagram was still updating, but it was old pictures, he could tell.

He stayed up, scrolling through happy pictures of CuteGuy. It was like seeing him stand right in front of him, smile just sharp enough, as if he was seeing him in real life, laugh echoing in his mind. He fell asleep thinking of CuteGuy.

-----

When Scar woke up, CuteGuy's name was on his lip, anxiety struggling through him as his nightmare dissipated. He was drenched in a cold sweat, breath struggling.

Images drifted through his still half asleep mind, fungi and spores, sharp smiles and pretty laughs replaced with harsh screams and desperate noises. The sound of an arrow hitting flesh.

His heart pounded in his chest, fingers scrabbling to find his phone. The bright screen hit his eyes, burning them for a second. It was 6:30 AM. Scar had gotten about 4 hours of sleep.

He let out a relieved breath, wiping quickly drying sweat from his brow. He reached over, grabbing his charger to plug his phone in.

He rolled over to his side, breathing slowly and evenly. He squeezed his eyes closed, his chest a gaping wound of guilt. Did he sever any tendons? Did his shoulder heal okay? He hadn't meant to go fully through his shoulder.

It was so much blood.

He shivered, trying to suppress the images. The blood cooling on him, the sticky fabric of Grian's dress, the fungus actively dying off him. He felt ill.

Scar laid in bed for about 15 minutes, just breathing, nausea threatening to brim at his throat. His skin felt dirty, heart pattering in a nervous pattern. He could feel it in his mind, an instability, a fragility. He liked avoiding these days.

Unfortunately, he couldn't. Not today.

He pushed himself up, keeping his breathing even still. He moved slowly, getting up, getting through the actions. His mind buzzed with stress, everything putting him close to an edge he didn't want to acknowledge.

He can do this.

He has this.

He texted Cub, telling him it was 'that' sort of day and waited, slowly going through the actions of eating his breakfast. His stomach clenched, but he pushed through it.

His phone buzzed with a text. A quick here from Cub, knowing full well that driving alone was off the table when his day was this.

This horrible feeling.

He knew it wasn't anything that Grian wasn't going through. He knew he had it better than Grian. He was paying for what he did with this. He was sure.

Even if it meant it'd destroy him. He can pay. He doesn't mind. It's only right.

Scar let out a breath, lungs squeezing uncomfortably before he headed for the door, mind woozy about starting the day.

He hopes he has this.

-----

"Scar, are you sure you want to go in today?" Cub asked, just a few lights away from his uni. They hadn't spoken much, Cub knowing full well he needed time to sort his thoughts, keep himself full.

Scar nodded vaguely, looking through CuteGuy's Instagram, trying to hold onto something he feels secure with. "Yeah. I mean, I need to do a patrol later anyway, and I made plans with Grian."

Cub hummed, side eyeing him. "The spore guy?"

Scar huffed, gently smacking Cub's arm, a smile tugging at his lips. "Thought he was my small coworker."

Cub laughed at the incredulous tone Scar used, giving his friend a grin. "He's both now! Though, you sure that's a," Cub hesitated, shifting the driver gear as they began driving again, "good idea?"

"Yeah, it is. I gotta make sure he's okay," Scar shrugged, texting Grian if the plans are still on, suddenly unsure. He stared at the two checkmarks, that same fragility coming back. Is this a good idea?

Cub made an indecisive noise, turning into the teacher parking lot. "If you think so. Just text me if you need me to pick you back up, alright? I'll come and get you whenever."

Scar gave a small huff, smiling softly at his friend. "What could I have ever done to deserve you?"

Cub shrugged, unbuckling himself. "I dunno, not be a moron? Well, I mean, you usually are, sooo," he drew the sound out, getting out of the car, laughing at the shout Scar gave at the implications.

He leaned back, feeling more secure in himself. If something DOES go wrong, he has Cub. He's happy with that.

-----

His classes weren't that difficult. It was far from exam season, so he could take it easy. Still, his mind pulled apart here and there, buzzing with memories of blood and darkness.

Still, he put on a smile and bit through it. Even if the unease in his stomach didn't soften by any bit.

"Woah, Scar," Cleo exclaimed, giving him a worried look. "You okay, buddy? You don't look so hot."

Scar waved them off, rubbing his temples. "Yeah, I'm good, just have a migraine, don't worry," he said, pushing himself away from his desk, crossing his legs as he turned to Cleo. "Hey, have you seen Grian anywhere today?"

Cleo hummed, sitting down at the break table. "Well, he had two classes today? Past that, no, I don't think so, why?" She leaned back, rummaging through her bag to get their food. "I think he left with Mumbo a little ago, he wasn't feeling well."

Scar's phone suddenly was burning a hole in his pocket. The unread message. He could feel his fragility bend. "Oh," he said simply, his throat squeezing on a lump. "I made plans with him and Mumbo, to go get lunch."

Cleo made a face, pulling their own phone out. "I mean, I got no messages from either, so if they wanted to meet up with you, I'm not their messenger pigeon," she said, standing up to pat Scar's shoulder. "There there, he probably just forgot."

Scar sighed in defeat, a pout on his lips. He knew Cleo was right. Grian had a LOT on his table, not to mention plate, he couldn't expect him to keep up with everything.

Cleo sighed as well, sitting back down. "I'll call Jimmy in a sec, alright? He wouldn't pop off without telling Jim at least, I'm sure he's just busy!" They tried to reassure him, voice gentle.

It didn't help much. He could feel himself spiral, an unsteady ledge of fear and discomfort. What if Grian only said yes because he felt compelled to? To keep up an act?

His fragility threatened to break, and his eyes stung with tears. Why today? Of all days? He gritted his teeth, his hands clenching. The feeling of Grian's blood seeping layered on his skin made him ill.

Again and again. Over and over. This PTSD episode didn't want to end. His head pounded with an actual migraine, hard pressure pulsing against his forehead.

His thought spiral broke, his phone ringing. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, reaching into his pocket, answering without looking. "Hello?"

'Hey Scar!' Mumbo spoke, his voice piercing and loud against Scar's ear. 'Sorry about being, well, gone! Grian needed to go for a little, but we're free to come pick you up if you still wanna go!'

Scar smiled, relief flooding him. They didn't ditch him. He leaned back, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to ease his migraine. "Yeah, I'm good to be picked up, I just have a pretty bad migraine right now. Would it be okay to go to someplace quiet?"

Mumbo hummed, and there was shuffling on the other end before he replied. 'Yeah, sure, we know a nice spot. Are you in the lounge?'

Scar hummed in confirmation, grabbing his bag. "I can meet you guys out in front, if you want."

Grian mumbled something in the background, voice wobbly and sniffly. Mumbo listened, replying away from his phone before turning back to his conversation with Scar. 'Yeah, that's good. We'll meet you in, 5?'

Scar hummed, saying a quick bye before pressing end call. He leaned back, stress leaving his body.

Cleo laughed, leaning against their arm. "Got your sweethearts?" Scar rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at her. "Oh, don't give me that look! Come on," Cleo teased, earning a thwap of a folder getting smacked against their head, a laugh bubbling from their mouth.

"Oh, hush," Scar huffed, grinning as he moved to leave the lounge, followed out by Cleo's laughter.

----

"Hi Scar!" Mumbo called, walking up to him with a smile and a wave. Scar had been sitting just outside of their building, scrolling through his phone while he waited. "You good, buddy?"

Scar hummed, putting his phone away. His head still thrummed, but he was happy to see Mumbo and Grian, who was hanging a few paces back, arms crossed and stressed looking. "Uh, yeah, I'm okay. Is, uh, is Grian okay?" He asked, giving Mumbo a nervous smile as he clicked his wheelchair out of park.

Mumbo made a noise, sucking in air through his teeth. He rubbed the back of his neck as they headed over to Grian, who gave Scar a small smile, heading to walk on his other side.

"Uh, Grian had a panic attack," Mumbo started to explain, stopping when Grian shook his head. He bit his lip and nodded, letting them fall into silence.

"Are you okay?" Scar asked, glancing at Grian, who shrugged. "We can cancel the lunch, if you wanted to head home. Uh, I wouldn't mind," he trailed off as Grian shook his head again, sighing.

"I'm okay, Scar, I promise. I just got stressed, it happens," he shrugged, as if it was the most normal thing. Maybe it was.

Scar would be a hypocrite if he worried too much. He, himself, wasn't doing well mentally. The fragility lingered in the back of his mind, testing and being tested, all at the same time.

Instead, he hummed, nodding.

The silence prevailed between them for a little, listening to the sound of bird song and passing cars until Grian spoke. "So, do you know the place we're going? Did Mumbo tell you?"

Scar made a noise, shrugging with a grin. "Nah, I don't think so. Unless he planned to beam the information into my head, I'm lost."

The laugh that was drawn from Grian was like a chime. Simple, light, carefree. Scar didn't realize he had missed it as much as he had until then. His breath was gone for a moment.

"It's a little café. It's kinda Kirby themed," Mumbo chimed in, smile soft, loving. It seems he'd also missed Grian's laugh. "G is absolutely obsessed with their fruit salads."

"They add a little Kirby! What am I to do, not love it?" Grian exaggerated, his voice cracking from strain. He cleared his throat, smile tired, eyes still empty.

Scar felt himself die a little.

"I mean, I think Kirby looks tasty," Scar joked half heartedly, getting a laugh from Mumbo instead. He glanced back at Grian, but it seemed that was all his social battery could handle, staring at the sidewalk ahead of them.

He didn't think it'd hurt as much as it does.

------

The café really was cute. It was quiet and they didn't use bright lights. It was pretty perfect.

Scar was looking over the menu, Mumbo actively trying to encourage him to get the sweetest looking thing on the menu while Grian texted away on his phone, trying to recharge himself.

"I'm telling you, it's good!" Mumbo insisted, a grin on his face speaking of untold amounts of mischief.

"Oh, I don't believe you, mister!" Scar shot back, sticking his tongue out. "It looks borderline radioactive with all that sugar!"

Mumbo snorted, flicking Scar's arm. "Oh, boohoo, some sugar won't kill you, mr. Nice guy."

"No, but it might make me go into a sugar coma!"

"Then you're a weak man!"

Scar blew a raspberry, waving his arms in exaggeration. "Then do you, oh big and powerful Mumbo, eat, uh," he glanced back down at the picture, trying to find the words. "Three waffles stacked on one another with strawberry AND chocolate syrup with marshmallows every day?"

Mumbo laughed, leaning back with a grin. "Maybe! You don't see me every day, do you?"

Scar gasped in faux offense, putting a hand over his heart. "And here I thought we were friends, mr. Mumbo! You're telling me I don't know you well enough?"

"Maybe you don't!" Mumbo teased, getting a gentle smack on the shoulder from Scar. "Oh, you'll live," he laughed, leaning back in his seat.

"Hi gentlemen, good to see you back! New victim to your tomfoolery?" A waitress walked over, their drinks on their tray. Mumbo had gotten a frappuchino, Grian some juice and Scar some hot chocolate.

Grian hummed, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah, María, Scar here is gonna go down with us," he joked, grinning at the waitress. He still looked so tired. It hurt.

María, apparently, giggled, taking a pen out. "I'm taking it'll be the usual food for you two, and what would you like?" She turned to Scar, smile genuine and kind.

He glanced down at the menu again, then at Mumbo before sighing dramatically and turning back to María. "The waffle special, please."

María laughed, writing it down while Mumbo cheered, laughing in giddy excitement about convincing Scar.

"I got one up on you, man!" He exclaimed, earning a laugh from Scar and Grian.

"Sure you do, now Scar needs revenge," Grian joked, ignoring the way Mumbo blew a raspberry. "Well hey, don't underestimate him! For all you know, he could be CuteGuy."

They all laughed, though Mumbo harder than the other two. Seems it was an inside joke between the two. Not that Scar minded. It was nice seeing Grian laugh.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

This was becoming a habit, Scar was quickly noticing. He guessed when Grian wouldn't answer and called. Hopefully this won't become a long term thing.

"Hey Grian! Sorry, I know we had lunch today, but I wanted to check in. I hope you're doing well, and that you get home safe," he shifted his phone, shifting through exams. Sun streamed into his classroom, his class having just left. He has 5 minutes before his next period.

"I wanted to let you know that you left some folders here, and since Mumbo and Jim have conflicting schedules to mine, I hope it's fine that I'm taking them with me," the door opened and he smiled, waving distractedly at some of his students who came early. "Anyway, that's all. Stay safe, bye."

He hung up, slipping his phone into his pocket, arranging his class material. His students chattered amongst themselves, saying hello or waving as they streamed in.

"Who were you calling, sir?" One of his students chimed up a little into the lecture, as Scar was still scribbling something onto his papers.

He looked up, caught off guard. "Oh, uhm, I was calling Grian. Been checking in on him more often," he shrugged, putting his pen down to push himself away.

There were oohs, and some giggles, which Scar ignored with an eyeroll, smile on his lips. "Don't start gossiping about my love life, guys, come on," he joked, grabbing some chalk to pull the blackboard down, writing onto it.

"Le gusta profesor Grian," someone teased, earning a playful huff and a stuck out tongue.

"Come on now, you can gossip afterwards! Now, focus, guys, this is important," he raised his voice, getting the attention of his students fully, pushing the blackboard back up so everyone can see.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

"Hey Grian, it's Scar again. Sorry for calling you so often, but I wanted to make plans again," Scar leaned back in the car seat, crossing his legs comfortably as Cub drove them back home. Scar will be starting his patrol soon.

Cub gave him a look, raising his eyebrows with a grin. Scar rolled his eyes, gently swatting at him. "Lunch was fun today, I was wondering if you'd like to repeat it? I have a free period first thing tomorrow as well, so I could sit in on your lecture, if you wanted."

The proposal was bold, but he'd heard from Jimmy. Grian had been struggling alone, and maybe it would let him have some reprieve from whatever is going on in his head. Maybe his company will give Grian the same calm he got, the fragility less sensitive, more stable.

He wanted to help.

"Either way, I'd be happy to make these things, uhm, a thing? If that'd be fine with you. I can, uh, I can call and suggest stuff," he scrambled for the words, now out of his depth with embarrassment.

"Anyway, I need to go, I have a thing with Cub, see you!" He quickly pressed to end voicemail, face burning.

There was silence until Cub laughed, leaning onto the steering wheel as they stopped at a red light. "Oh my God, I don't think I've heard you THAT flustered in years!"

Scar groaned, covering his face. "Shut! Shush, shhh, shut up, Cub, oh my God-"

"You got so flustered!" Cub interjected, wiping invisible tears from his eyes as he straightened back out, continuing to drive. "That was adorable, but God, I've never seen you that panicked. You make plans with friends constantly."

Scar groaned loudly, sinking into his car seat. "Shut up, I'm trying to make up not being able to keep him from the spore thing."

Cub made a 'mhm' sound, drawing the sounds out. "Course you are. You sure he doesn't make you think of your current target," he teased, receiving an offended sound before Scar snorted.

"No, but they do smile similarly. They have the same quirk! I think they'd probably get along, maybe," Scar mused, leaning against the car door, staring out of the window. That's a thought.

Grian and CuteGuy. Scar doesn't think he'd survive as HotGuy. Though, maybe it'd be worth it.

----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

"Hey Grian, it's Scar, again," Scar said, leaning back against a rooftop stairwell access wall, sliding down to sit, exhaustion deep in his bones. "Just wanted to check in. Cleo texted me that she hadn't heard from you since yesterday, and they asked me to call you, cause they're busy."

The day was nice. The sky was clear and blue, warmer than usual for early spring evening.

"You know how they get if she doesn't know how someone's doing. I hope you're doing good as well, and again, sorry for all the calls," he shifted his bow against his leg, the metal clinking softly. "Hope you're doing well. See you."

He clicked end voicemail, plopping his phone back into his quiver. He felt like he was hiding himself in there, surrounded by everything that wasn't him. He sighed, closing his eyes as he simply existed, mind empty.

It was quiet for a few minutes before a quiet swoop of air joined him, and he opened his eyes. CuteGuy was leaning against the railing opposite of him, smile quirked the same way that Grian's always is when he has something mischievous on his mind.

He jolted, face flaming in a blush. "You!" He exclaimed, scrabbling to get up. "You're back!"

CuteGuy leaned back, snorting out a laugh. "Yeah, why? You think I'd leave you to your devices?" He teased, voice just as Scar remembered. "Can't do that, pretty boy, you need a sitter."

HotGuy laughed, shaking his head as he bent down to pick up his bow, his quiver resting against his back. Nerves bundled in his stomach, but he pushed it down. HotGuy wasn't a nervous guy, even as his thoughts drifted to the same quirked smile on someone a lot smaller.

"Well, you took a break, and I'm not dead, am I? Even took out that fungal threat alone," HotGuy boasted, putting a hand on his chest with a proud stance before relaxing, excited grin on his face. His heart pattered in his chest. "Seriously though, I was worried!"

CuteGuy shrugged, turning away and walking to the other edge, in front of the door to the roof access. "I was busy. I have a life, you know."

Scar followed him, leaning next to him when he stopped, looking over the city. "Yeah, I know. I wish you could have left me a note, though, I genuinely was worried someone killed you, or something." He shrugged, tone light, as if discussing the death of his rival was normal.

Maybe it was.

CuteGuy shrugged again, leaning against his hand, inhaling the clear air. "Nah, that'd be all over the news. I think anyway, Nexus wouldn't be too happy," he laughed dryly, closing his eyes, enjoying the weather. "I missed spring."

Scar hummed, enjoying the presence of the other, the quiet not a disturbance. "We can do a truce, for a little," Scar spoke after a few minutes, looking at CuteGuy for his reactions. "Just until you get back into it."

CuteGuy blew a raspberry, looking at him. "I don't think you would stick to that, your lot aren't the type to do that."

HotGuy puffed his chest up in fake offense, his mouth open in a gasp. "How dare thee? I'm a perfectly respectable part of society!" He joked, earning a bit back laugh from CuteGuy, who shook his head.

"Yeah, alright," he agreed after he calmed down, half smile quirked on his mouth. "How about a week? Gives me enough time to devise plans to run away from you more, be a nuisance."

Scar grinned, wild and excited before he pressed his grin into a smile, HotGuy nodding as they went back to looking at the scenery. "Alright, sounds good," HotGuy said, tone even. "A week."

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

"Hi Grian," Scar leaned against an alley wall, rubbing his eyes. He was tired. "Sorry about calling close to midnight, I just wanted to check in, tell you goodnight and stuff, and also ask if our plans are still on."

It was late. Nearly midnight. Grian must be asleep by now. He hadn't gotten any messages back from him, so he wanted to check up.

"I hope you don't mind. Hope you get back to me soon. Bye," with that, he clicked the voicemail to end. He rubbed his face, feeling sleep deprivation pull at him. He just had to get home now.

He sighed, plopping his phone back into his quiver before a swoop of air rushed past him, and CuteGuy landed by him.

"Hey, Birdie," HotGuy said, the tiredness vanishing from his body. "Still want more?" He teased, straightening away from the wall, a smirk playing on his lips. Scar was so tired.

CuteGuy gave him a look, shaking his head. "I obviously saw you and wanted to check if you were still breathing. No, I just wanted to see if you've had any news on where the fungus came from, from a few weeks ago." His tone was light, but layered. He was fidgeting with one of the strings to his bows on his shorts.

HotGuy hummed, thinking. Cub hadn't mentioned anything, neither had the news, no one he had asked as of late had given him a straight answer, or even a close enough answer to 'yes.'

He shook his head. "No, sorry birdie, no luck on my end, either. Why?" He asked instead, raising his eyebrow at CuteGuy, tilting his head.

CuteGuy hummed, looking away. "No reason. Just don't want to encounter whoever made that strain of fungus," he shrugged, turned and was off, a soft rush of air brushing Scar.

He stared at CuteGuy until he disappeared behind a few buildings and sighed. He wanted to go home.

----

His bed was cold. Scar scrolled through CuteGuy's instagram. No new posts, no new news headlines, no nothing. No one had seen him, it seems. Only Scar had.

Well, HotGuy had. He sighed, eyes burning as exhaustion seeped into him. His body felt like jelly. He rolled onto his side, curling into himself. He had gone through all of his posts multiple times already.

It was always the same thing. Always the same smile. Always the same pose. Over and over and over.

He clicked off CuteGuy's and went to HotGuy's. The official account. His brain buzzed. He saw himself, but it wasn't him.

He clicked off. Shut his phone off. He stared at the dark ceiling of his room before reaching over, getting his charger and plugging his phone in.

He wanted to sleep.

-----

Scar didn't sleep well. His mind was plagued with the sound of wings flapping against the sky, followed by the harsh sounds of arrows flying through the air.

The nightmare was slipping through his fingers by the time he was able to perceive the fact he had a nightmare. His head hurt.

He looked at his phone, alarm blaring. 7:30 AM. He wanted to stay in bed. His mind reeled, memories scattered in a half awake daze.

Scar turned his alarm off, slumping back onto his bed in a jellied state. He rolled over, trying to ignore the fact his skin felt slathered in blood.

His hand twitched, a phantom of the heavy feeling of a bow against his palm rested against him, an arrow swooping by his ear.

He needed Cub.

He sat up, breath staggering. Why didn't he realize sooner? His lungs squeezed and he let out a strained cough, as if something was actually blocking his breath.

His hand fumbled, shaking as he unlocked his phone. Cub's number was always on speed dial.

He listened to the phone ring out, leaning forwards, trying to find any way to alleviate the pressure on his lungs. His breaths were quick and uneven, tears threatening to spill from the corner of his eyes. Black spots swam in his vision.

'Hello?' Cub spoke, picking up the phone. He sounded tired, half asleep. 'Who's dead or dying?'

An involuntary smile struggled onto Scar's face, a laugh bubbling out of him before breaking into a sob. His lungs hurt. He was covered in blood.

This was a nasty PTSD episode. He tried to form words, but only half broken phrases in Vexean came out. Panicked and tear stricken.

'Woah, woah, okay,' he heard shuffling. Cub was likely getting out of bed, now more awake. 'Breathe, Scar, okay? Remember what I showed you?'

Scar nodded vaguely, making a noise of agreement. He shuffled himself, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed. He leaned onto his elbows, trying to get a 90° angle on his lean.

The pressure on his chest alleviated. He could breathe better. His sobs didn't subside. He struggled out a weak call for Cub, and he heard a pained noise in reply.

'I know, Scar, I know,' Cub soothed, muffled for a moment as he likely pressed the phone between his shoulder and head. Scar could picture it, trying to desperately hold onto it. 'Look, listen, I'll be over soon. I'll stay on the phone, I'll be right here with you. I can notify your uni, you can stay home, you're okay.'

Scar was nodding without registering the words, simply listening to Cub's voice. His limbs were shaking from his sobs, and his eyes stung. He was tired. He was so tired.

'Buddy, can you do something for me? Can you call one of your co-workers, or text them, calling would be dumb right now,' more shuffling and muffled noise, Cub mumbling under his breath as he hurried to get ready. 'Tell the small one, Grian, or that really nice art teacher. What was her name, Cleo?'

Scar made another noise of agreement, taking the phone away from his face. Shakily, he clicked through, sobs still wracking him every second or two.

Without thinking, he opened his chat with Grian. There were unread replies, but he couldn't focus. He tapped the chat bar, and began typing.

'Hey g, im really not doing good this morning. Can you tell admin im staying home?'

'Cub will call later anyway'

'Sorry about the plans'

'Sorry'

He clicked out of the chat, anxiety ramping up ten fold. Why did he text Grian? Why would he? He hurt him. His blood was seeping into his clothes.

Scar felt ill.

----

He wasn't sure what happened after. He came to leaning against Cub, breathing stable with his eyes still shedding tears. Cub had been rubbing his back, holding a cup of what seemed to be lemon juice and some ice. Lemonade, maybe.

His memories fell through his fingers. Vague impressions of speaking Vexean to Cub, listening to him call the admins to let them know as an actual proxy, a call from Grian.

He didn't answer. He hadn't answered the texts either. They had rung and rung until Cub put his phone away, hidden somewhere Scar wouldn't need to worry about it for now.

He groaned, leaning his face into Cub's shoulder. "Hey, buddy. You with me?" Cub asked, patting his mid back. Scar nodded vaguely, shifting to wrap his arms around Cub's middle.

"Yeah, I'm with you," he mumbled into his clothes. "I'm sorry about this."

Cub huffed, hugging Scar back the best he could. "It's not your fault, Scar, don't worry. You don't have a reason to be sorry," he reassured, leaning his head against Scar's.

They were quiet for a little before Scar spoke. "Do you seriously answer the phone with that line every time you wake up early?"

Cub huffed a laugh, leaning over to put the cup of lemonade on Scar's nightstand. "Nah, only with you, obviously. Makes you snap out of whatever's going on," he joked, gently moving Scar to lay back down.

He gladly went with the motion, exhaustion now deeply rooted in his body. He was so tired.

Cub pushed a hand through his hair, trying his best to soothe him still. "I'll stay here, take a home day, alright? Go sleep, I'll crash on your couch."

Scar felt himself nod, already being pulled under by sleep.

----

The afternoon sun was high in the sky when Scar woke back up. He was tangled in his blanket, laying part way on his stomach. He blinked and stretched, expecting the sting of a headache or even the fragility in the back of his mind.

Instead, his head was clear. He sat up, hair mushed, looking around for his phone before the events of that morning slowly dripped in.

Ah, right. Cub hid his phone.

He passed a hand through his hair, sleep still clinging to him before he called out for Cub. The house was quiet, so he should be able to hear him.

Except, no reply came. He furrowed his eyebrows, moving to the edge of his bed to grab his crutches. Did Cub leave? He could be sleeping, maybe.

After a few minutes of checking everything and everywhere, Scar sat down on his couch. His house was empty. He felt uneasy, usually Cub would tell him if he was leaving. At least he found his phone on the dining table.

He had a few notifications, and a voicemail. He laid down onto his couch, looking through everything. He had a few messages from Mumbo, Cleo called him a few times and Jimmy spammed him over the course of the day, always checking up on him.

His stomach bundled in nerves as he stared at the unread notification of his chat with Grian. He took a breath, clicking on it. He scrolled up, finding the messages he had missed that morning.

'Hey Scar, sorry for not replying sooner. Thanks for all the check-ins, I actually really appreciate it, keep doing it if you want.'

'Oh, and lunch sounds nice again. Same place with Mumbo?'

'I hope that's fine, and I would actually really like it if you sat in my lecture. Some of my students can get rowdy, and they all love you.'

'Don't worry about the folders, btw, I trust you.'

Then his messages. They were read and replied to nearly instantly.

'What happened?'

'Scar, are you okay?'

'Don't worry about the plans.'

'Are you okay??'

'Scar, come on buddy, this isn't funny, are you sick?'

'Do you need something?'

Then a missed call and a voicemail, and nothing else.

Anxiously, Scar went to check his voicemails. It wasn't particularly long, but it still lit something in Scar. He didn't want to think about it.

He pressed play.

'Hey Scar, uhm, look, I uh, I was really looking forward to you being in my lecture today,' Grian's voice rang out, anxious and tight. Was he having an anxiety attack? Did Scar cause this?

'Sorry about the spam of text messages, I just got a little anxious,' Grian said lightly, laughing without humour. 'I'll be fine. I hope you'll be okay. See you later, call me if you have the time and feel better.'

The empty air after the voicemail left Scar feeling empty himself. He made Grian panic. He was still hurting him. His lungs squeezed, but he took a deep breath. This wasn't his fault. Grian didn't know he was HotGuy.

This was fine.

He glanced at the clock on his phone. It was about the time that Grian would be heading home now. He should call. He tapped the call button, raising it to his ear. The call rang out.

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

"Hey Grian," Scar spoke, nerves gently resting just under his skin. This is fine. "Thanks for the concern, but I'm okay, just got a little sick!" The chipper voice and lie bit at him. He could feel his back straighten. HotGuy can handle this better. His bow rested in his hand in his mind.

"Again, really sorry about the plans. I have two free periods tomorrow, though, so I can stick with you then. Sounds good? Hope you're doing well, get home safe. Bye!" He ended the voicemail, deflating immediately.

He was so tired.

----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

"Hey Grian, it's Scar," it felt like second nature by now. The same words followed by the same answer. He's done it so often in his mind. "You haven't gotten back to me yet, and I'm gonna be busy for a little while, so I wanted to check in."

He shifted the phone against his ear, fixing his boots to snuggly fit him. Was it a good idea to go out on his patrol now? Probably not. "Uhm, I wanted to ask if you also wanted to go get lunch tomorrow. Same place, same time, with Mumbo.”

He stood up, grabbing his gloves, fiddling with them, pulling them on as he continued to speak. "I'll also make sure that I have your folders with me. Okay, that's all, bye."

He clicked end voicemail, and sighed. He rubbed his head, feeling a headache slowly form behind his eyes. This is fine.

He'll be fine.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar leaned against a railing, staring over the city as he listened to the voicemail notice. The sun was slowly starting to set under the horizon. The beep sounded and he started talking.

"Hey Grian, it's Scar," he tapped the railing, words lost on him now. He just wanted to know how he was. "I hope you're doing well," he said instead, smile playing on his lips. Somehow, this felt better.

"Just wanted to check in. I'm doing better, so don't worry about me," he scanned the surroundings as he talked, eyes wandering to the activity near a grocery store. He looked away.

"That's it, basically. See you tomorrow, buddy," he hung up, plopping his phone back into his quiver. He looked back at the grocery store, eyes snagging on a particular red sweater.

It was Grian.

His heart stopped, excitement brewed under his skin. Emotions flooded him, and HotGuy grinned, hopping from foot to foot before vaulting over the side of the building, easily jumping down from window sills and balconies, landing a little heavily.

Scar bounded forwards a little, saddling up next to Grian. He was looking at his phone, bags in hand. His own missed call on the screen. "Hey!" Scar called, smile faltering only slightly when Grian turned abruptly, a frightened expression on his face. HotGuy backed up.

"Sorry, haha, uhm, it's you!" He exclaimed, smiling at his coworker. His heart clenched. Guilt was eating him alive. "I haven't seen you in a while, professor, are you doing okay?" He asked, words bubbling in his throat. Did Grian forgive him? Can he look at him? Does he blame him? Is he okay? Is he okay?

Was this okay?

"Uh, hi," Grian said, his expression being replaced with an apprehensive one. "What do you want?" He asked, ignoring the previous question Scar asked. Oh, God.

Grian hated him.

His head suddenly felt woozy, and his lungs constricted, but he just smiled, holding a hand out. "I wanted to offer help! To make up for the fungus, thing," he hesitated, smile freezing on his face. "Uhm, can I carry your groceries for you?"

Grian raised an eyebrow at him, holding his bags closer to himself, his phone clutched in his hand. "Uh, no, just like last time. I don't want you to know where I live."

Scar scrambled internally, smiling still. "That's fine! I can help carry it halfway, just like last time, okay?" He insisted, voice gently getting firmer. His heart pattered in his chest. He needed to help Grian. He just had to.

Grian sighed reluctantly, taking a breath before heaving the heavier of the bags to him. They weren't too heavy, but after a while, they probably can get a lot. "Here, then."

HotGuy exhaled with a bright smile, watching as Grian turned and started walking, following him. He was checking his chat with Scar.

"Who're you texting?" He asked, idling up next to him. It felt easier being himself like this. His emotions brimmed in his throat, adoration for the fact he was checking if he had sent anything.

Grian hummed, shutting his phone off and slipping it into his pocket. "A friend of mine," he said, and Scar's heart sky rocketed. He still considers Scar a friend. "He's been leaving voicemails for me since I came back to work."

HotGuy nodded, smiling. "He sounds nice. Do you hang out often?" He shifted the groceries in his hand, looking around. He was trying very hard to act normal.

Grian hummed before shrugging, the movement rustling his clothes. "Not really, but uh, I like hanging with him. Hopefully he'll be okay to come into work tomorrow."

"I'm sure he will!" HotGuy replied chipperly, enjoying being near Grian maybe a bit too much. Grian wasn't scared of him. It made him feel exhilarated.

Something whispered in his mind. They were in public, he couldn't act scared now, could he? Scar's smile tightened, ignoring the whisper. Instead, he turned to Grian, wanting to keep talking. "So, how are your cats?"

Grian glanced at him, giving him a questioning look. "You remember that?" He questioned before shaking it off. "Pearl and Maui are doing good. Menaces, per usual, but what cat isn't?" He joked, voice dry, small smile cracking on his lips before falling.

Scar grinned, laughing lightly. "Yeah, mine is also a menace. She loves laying on my computer because it's warm, even though it kinda blocks the vent," he smiled softly, tension leaving his shoulders as he thought about Jellie. "I love her a lot."

Grian hummed, digging his phone out of his pocket again, stopping. He turned it towards HotGuy, his lockscreen being two cats laying cuddled to each other. "That's them. The one on the left is Pearl, the one on the right is Maui," he said, smiling at the expression HotGuy did.

"They're adorable! Mine doesn't really like being photographed, so unfortunately I don't have anything to show you," he said as they started walking again, the park coming into view. Something in Scar's chest squeezed. "Maybe I'll show you something next time I see you!"

Grian faltered, stopping for a second before continuing, quick steps trying to stay in reach of HotGuy's long strides. "Next time? What do you mean, next time?"

Scar panicked, pressing his smile tightly onto his face. "I'd like to hang out more. I mean, you're cool, professor, and I'd like to make up for the," he faltered, smile dropping as his eyes wandered to his shoulder, eyebrows furrowing, "Arrow."

Grian passed a hand over the area, glancing between it and HotGuy. They stopped by a bench, Grian sitting down, letting out a sigh. "Yeah, alright," he said, digging through his pockets for his keys. "Sure, next time. This still doesn't make up for the papers, by the way."

Scar groaned, plopping down on the bench as well. "Oh, come on! I said I was sorry!" He exclaimed, leaning back as he watched Grian, face screwed together in concentration. "Do I need to bake you more cookies or something?"

Grian snorted, jiggling his keys in his hand. "Yeah, you probably do," he joked, leaning against the bench, tipping his head back, relishing the dying sunlight.

Scar smiled, tilting his head as he watched him. He smiled so similarly to CuteGuy. It was infectious.

"Thanks for walking with me, this was actually kinda nice," Grian looked over at him and HotGuy quickly looked away, making his smile be easy going. "Can't believe I'm actually saying that."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Scar said, putting the bags of groceries near Grian, standing up. "Guess this is my goodbye, professor. See you later," he waved, turning to dash off, his heart pounding.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

"Hi Grian, it's Scar, again," HotGuy leaned against the same bench he was at, a few hours ago. The near silence of the city was calming. "Sorry for calling so late, but you didn't call back, and wanted to check in."

He knew he had stopped Grian from calling back, or he thought he did. Anxiety rolled in his stomach, but he ignored it. "I wanted to check in, see if everything is alright. I hope you sleep well. See you tomorrow."

He hung up, sitting down on the bench. He was so exhausted. His eyes prickled with sleep. He leaned against the back of the bench, tipping his head back, just as Grian had a few hours previous.

"HotGuy?" A familiar voice called, spooking him to look over, alert and on edge. Grian stood a few steps away, seemingly just passing through the area. Had Scar let time pass through his fingers that easily?

Grian was slightly bundled up. He was wearing a jacket, a pleasant black compared to his usually warm attire, a red scarf wrapped around his neck. He looked like a miniature Mumbo. The idea helped settle his nerves.

"Hi, professor, what are you doing out so late?" He asked, smiling as Grian walked over, sitting next to him. He scooted away a little, giving Grian more space. "It's a bit dangerous to go out at night, you know."

Grian hummed in response, yawning as he dug his phone out. "Mm, my coworker called me again," he mumbled half heartedly to HotGuy. Scar's heartbeat jumped, his hand clenching quietly against the wood of the bench. "I haven't been able to sleep well. I like going out on walks around my neighbourhood."

"I see," HotGuy said, watching as Grian texted Scar's cell. He felt the phone vibrate against the quiver. Hell, this could be bad. "Do you want me to walk with you a little?"

Grian hummed, sending another text before nodding and getting up. "I get to show you my favourite walk route, why not," he motioned for HotGuy to follow and he scrambled to do so.

His legs ached. He could feel bruises form slowly from the over exertion, but he can push through it. This is okay. He can make it up to Grian.

"So, why are you out here?" Grian asked after a few moments of quiet. "It's pretty cold, and I can't imagine that you've been working the whole day, right?" He glanced at HotGuy, his lips quirking in the way that always reminded him of CuteGuy. His heart pattered in his chest.

"Uh, well," HotGuy gave an exaggerated cough, looking away. "It's not that cold if you were outside the whole time," he shrugged, receiving a look of horror from Grian, who paused before taking his scarf off and pressing it into HotGuy's hands. "Wha-"

"My jacket won't fit you, but you can have this for now. You will NOT walk around with me while you're freezing cold!" His hands traveled to HotGuy's hand then to his exposed arm. His hands were so warm. "You ARE freezing cold!! Oh my God, go home! Go home!"

Grian shoved gently at him, patting him with vigor. "I mean, my way there is like a 30 minute walk," Scar mumbled, stopping Grian in his tracks.

"I'm driving you," he stated, his expression furrowed into a focused look, something that so oddly reminded Scar of CuteGuy. They really were similar, huh.

His thoughts broke as Grian grabbed his hand and dragged him, heading to a parked car in the street. Panic set in. "Oh, no, professor, you don't need to, really, I'm used to it!"

Grian made a noise of frustration, pulling his car keys out. Did he always carry them around? "That doesn't make it better! Just, give me an address and I'll drop you off there, I won't be weird and try and find where you live. I'm not that weird."

HotGuy stared at him, the car clicking as it unlocked, its lights flashing. It really was cold, and Scar was so tired. He relented. "Alright," he breathed, sitting into the passenger seat.

-----

The car was warm, and Scar was starting to doze off. He was leaning against his hand, resting against the passenger door. He was so tired.

Soft music played from the radio and it was comforting. His eyes stung with sleep. Scar wanted to fall asleep right there, but his visor could fall off. He didn't want to chance it.

The ride was considerably long, trees and houses blurring past as Grian hummed along to the music from the radio, glancing at him once or twice.

Vaguely, Scar remembered he had Grian's scarf in his hand. He didn't want to let it go. The soft material comforted him, easing him into a much sleepier state than he was previously.

He didn't want this to end.

-----

"HotGuy," Grian patted his shoulder softly. Scar blinked, mind fuzzy and quiet. "Hey, we're here."

He blinked, inhaling as he stretched, rubbing just under his visor. "Are we?" He mumbled, trying to wake himself up. "Thank you."

He fumbled to open the car door, unbuckling himself. "See you later, professor," he mumbled as he got out, shutting the door behind him. He watch Grian drive off, looking around at his surroundings. He was a few streets away from his place.

He patted himself, scarf still held tightly in his hand. He had his bow, he had his quiver, and he had his visor. He seemed to have everything.

Scar trudged towards his house, yawning as he fumbled for his keys before remembering he didn't have his keys. Right. HotGuy.

He rubbed his eyes, now less afraid of being seen. He lived in a remote area anyway, big privacy walls. He patted around his windowsill, finding the loose area of wood.

He pulled his keys out, opening his door. He dropped his quiver near the door, closing it behind him and locking it. God, he was so tired.

He pulled his visor off, leaving it on his shelf by the door. He pulled his phone out of his quiver, taking his bow off and leaving it there as well. He stumbled to his room, eyes drooping from sleep.

He sat down onto his bed, pulling his shoes off, letting the boots fall right there. He pushed himself onto the bed, curling up on his blanket and sheets. He clutched his phone, plans to plug it in disappearing in his mind as he held the scarf from Grian close, falling asleep.

----

Scar woke up to his alarm. His legs ached, his head pounded and his mouth was dry. He groaned, shifting to curl back up. He patted for his phone, finding it a bit away from him.

7:30 AM, with his phone at 20%. He groaned again, sitting up to grab his charger. He was in his costume, a soft material clenched in his left hand. His mind wasn't catching up as he rubbed the soft material, raising it to his face to press it to his cheek, inhaling Grian's cologne from it.

Grian's cologne. He froze. His eyebrows furrowed together. He pulled the scarf away, staring at the red fabric. Grian's scarf. His brain caught up.

Oh, fuck. He stole Grian's scarf. Oh, fuck. He stole Grian's scarf as HotGuy.

He sat back, staring at the wall before he put the scarf down and grabbed his charger. He needed to get ready, he can panic about his theft later.

He needed to eat, shower to get the grime off of him and get dressed, and probably put his costume somewhere so he doesn't need to worry about it.

Scar scooted to the edge of his bed, swinging his legs over only to see his metal legs. Well.... Shit. He forgot about his equipment.

He covered his face. This will be... A long morning.

-----

Scar was running a little late. He had texted Grian, letting him know he accidentally slept in and will be a few minutes late, getting an acknowledgement thumbs up in reply.

Now he headed towards Grian's classroom, humming happily. The two free periods would have probably been used on school work anyway, so this was actually a nice alternative.

He knocked on the door as he stopped in front of them, opening them after a moment. "Good morning, guys!" He called, getting some surprised and happy replies from Grian's students, and a quiet 'Morning, Scar' from Grian.

Scar closed the door behind him, going over to Grian's desk, smiling at him. "Hi Grian, where should I situate myself?" He joked lightly, ignoring the way his heart picked up. His mind flitted back to the scarf, the smell of Grian's cologne.

His ears burned. Was it hot in the room?

Grian smiled back at him weakly, going back to organizing his papers. "Wherever is fine, really. Make yourself comfortable," he said, glancing at the spot right next to his chair.

Scar glanced between him and the spot before rolling himself there, trying his best to not go into Grian's personal space. He felt Grian tense up, coughing before turning to his students, a stutter in his voice.

Maybe Scar was making him uncomfortable. Still, he did need the desk as well, so... He hoped it'd be fine.

He pulled papers out from his bag with his pencil case, happily listening to Grian's voice as he led into the lecture.

Yeah. These two free periods will be used well.

----

"Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!" Grian called after the last of his students, sighing as he sat down next to Scar, who was finishing up his paperwork. "They're always so rowdy after break, aren't they?" Grian asked, looking at Scar, who hummed.

"I think your students just like annoying you," Scar mused, getting a huff and a gentle smack from Grian. "What?" He drew the word out, laughing as Grian scooted away. "It's true! You usually laugh when annoyed. It's cute."

Grian made a choked off noise, coughing into his elbow. "Sorry, cute?" He stuttered, looking at Scar with alarm. "You think my laugh is cute?"

Scar paused, blinking at Grian. "Uh, yeah! I think everyone's laughs are cute. Yours has a nice ring!" He turned back to his paperwork, finishing writing something before he exhaled in relief, sitting back.

Students started flooding back in just as Scar was organising his papers, happily chatting at a quiet Grian, who was fiddling with his hands. His social battery probably died. That was fine. Scar won't force him to talk. Silence was nice.

"Oooh, ¡profesor Scar! ¡Estáis chateando con sus novio!" A student teased, getting a laugh from Scar, who shooed them along.

"Rule stands in Grian's classroom as well! Gossiping stays out of the classroom, people, no need to bring in outside knowledge!" He joked, receiving a few muffled teasing responses and laughs. He turned to Grian.

"Stage is yours!" He said, smiling at Grian, who nodded tightly, standing up.

Scar leaned against his hand, now paying full attention to Grian. Maybe he can catch him again later as HotGuy.

------

"So, is lunch still on?" Scar asked once the last students filed out, watching Grian finish paperwork with a flushed face. Guess class really was taking a toll on him. "If you want, I'm fine to stay in my office and buy something later."

Truth was, Scar hadn't even packed himself breakfast. He hadn't had the time to eat, and his want to stick by Grian rubbed at the front of his mind. If only he were HotGuy now. It'd be easier, he mused, maybe. Under the guise of protection.

He ignored them, turning them over to CuteGuy. He can take care of CuteGuy, yeah, that sounds better.

"Yeah, lunch is still on. Uhm, Mumbo has an impromptu office hours thing with one of his students, so if it's okay, we'd need to pop into a closer place," Grian leaned back, stretching himself. Some of his joints popped in his back as he slumped, letting out a relieved breath. "Do you still have classes scheduled for later?"

Scar made a sound, pulling his phone out to check. "Uuh, I dunno. I had two free periods because half of both of those classes take French, and you know about the French excursion," he slowly let himself go into a mumble as he checked his schedule. He clicked his tongue. "Sorry, I got the next two hours filled."

Grian nodded, pulling his breakfast out. "I'm starving," he stated, his face even more red than before. "Did you have something to eat today?"

Scar leaned forward, furrowing his eyebrows before gently reaching out to touch Grian's forehead, who choked and tensed up. "I think you have a fever, Gri, maybe you should go home," he said, going down to cup Grian's cheek. They felt warm. It was concerning for him.

Grian didn't say anything for a moment before leaning into his palm, exhaling. He stayed for a moment before pulling back, looking away. "I'm okay. It just happens sometimes right now, I, uh," he faltered, speech stuttering, "I get a little stressed and worked up and I get a little bit of a fever."

Scar hummed with acknowledgement, nodding. "Alright, okay. Do tell me if you need a cooling pack or something," he said, glancing at Grian's breakfast. His stomach growled and he looked away, his ears burning. "Anyway, I should probably go, it's a bit of a way to my class."

Grian put a hand on his shoulder and he stopped, looking at him with an embarrassed expression. "Have you had anything to eat today?" He asked, voice serious, even with how red he looked. He was concerned about Scar, even if he didn't need it.

Scar let out an awkward laugh, half broken babbles of excuses trying to get out of his mouth at the same time, his hands trying to go along with what he said before he bit his cheek and quietened down, realizing he was babbling nonsense at Grian.

"You haven't eaten at all, have you?" Grian asked, gaze scrutinizing as Scar laughed nervously before nodding. Grian sighed, shaking his head before opening his lunchbox and giving Scar half of his breakfast. "Here."

Scar stared for a second before smiling up at Grian apologetically. "Sorry about this. Thank you so much," he said, leaning back in relief. He bit into the sandwich, relishing the actual fresh food he was eating.

He hadn't had much time to cook or eat. When was the last time he actually ate? He didn't want to think about it.

"What do you have planned today? Past classes?" Grian asked, leaning back in his own seat as he started to eat. "And our lunch plans, I mean."

Scar shrugged, staring at nothing. He couldn't exactly say 'Look for you while dressed up as my hero persona' now, could he?

"Not much, honestly," he replied after he swallowed his bite of food, not wanting to eat with his mouth full. "Maybe a thing with Cub if he isn't working, or something or other at home."

Grian hummed, nodding. "I don't have much going on, either. I might be meeting someone later at night? Maybe, though, if their schedule is clear," he shrugged, turning to eating fully.

Scar's ears burned. He was convinced there was something wrong with the AC at this rate. He ignored the thoughts that flitted in his mind, questioning if Grian was hoping to meet up with him as HotGuy. That wouldn't make sense, would it?

"Sounds nice. Hopefully you can meet up," Scar said, heart thumping in his chest.

-----

It was loud in the café they went to. Scar sat with Grian while Mumbo ordered for them. They weren't chatting, simply enjoying one another's company.

At least, Scar hoped Grian was enjoying his company. He's been texting someone on his phone since they got there. It was probably too loud for him, that's it.

Still, something whispered in Scar's head. Nervousness thrummed in him. If only he were HotGuy right now, it'd make this easier.

The idea seemed nice. Sitting in a café as HotGuy, eating and laughing with Grian and Mumbo. He wouldn't need to worry about being himself. He could be perfect.

His train of thought broke, drinks being put in front of him. "Here you guys go," Mumbo said, sliding their drinks to the respective people. "Food will be out shortly, they ran out of chocolate chips for one thing."

Scar hummed, taking a sip of his coffee. His heart rattled in his chest. He swallowed his nerves and smiled at Mumbo and Grian, trying to act as normal as he could.

He can ignore his anxiety. He always does.

"How was class today? Grian told me you sat with him for two of his lectures," Mumbo started, taking a sip of his own drink. "That was pretty nice of you."

Scar just laughed lightly, shrugging. "It wasn't much for me, don't worry. I had a pretty relaxing night, so why not, y'know?" He shut his mouth tightly, jaw locking. There was a fragility in his mind. A push of perfection, a need for a flawless image.

He glanced at Grian. Was he okay? Was this okay? Is this okay? Was any of what he's been doing in any way what he wanted? The scarf played in his mind, soft and gentle material grounding him just for a moment before it dissolved in his mind. He stole that scarf.

He stared at nothing, tapping his finger against his drink. HotGuy wouldn't be this anxious. He shouldn't be this worried. But he wasn't HotGuy. Not right now, anyway.

"Scar? You okay?" Mumbo asked, tapping Scar's shoulder. He looked over, noticing that Mumbo was looking at him with concern. Scar's mouth was dry, his brain not processing the words coming out of Mumbo's mouth.

He blinked at him, thoughts catching up. "Uh? Oh, yeah, I'm, uh... I'm okay," Scar mumbled, trying to shift himself out of this sudden anxious state, fixing on a bright, star winning smile. The longer he spent around Grian as himself, the easier it seemed for him to convince himself he hated him.

The thought made him sick. He took a breath, walling his emotions off. He can do this. He can be perfect as himself, this won't be an issue.

It can't be an issue.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar sat in his car, tapping at his steering wheel, his eyes stinging. Anxiety shriveled in his stomach. He hadn't been able to keep it together since lunch, having had to sit out of a lecture and stay in his office.

The beep sounded. "Hi Grian," he said, voice cracking slightly. He cleared his voice, trying his best to not give it away that he had cried for a while. "Sorry, uhm," he hesitated, giving a few seconds of silence.

"I had this whole speech in my head about today, hah, uh," he faltered, his throat squeezing shut. He should just say bye now. He gritted his teeth.

He needed to apologise.

"Uh, look, okay," he took a breath, steadying himself. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable today, I think I overdid some things and made you uncomfortable?" His voice waivered and he bit his tongue, taking a moment to calm back down.

"So, uhm, tell me if you don't wanna do anything, okay? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable," his voice quietened to a near whisper, trying his best to keep the tears from it. "That's all. Bye."

He pressed end voicemail, taking steadying breaths before they broke into uneven, heaving breaths as he started sobbing. He leaned against his steering wheel, resting his forehead against his forearms, trying to keep his sobs down.

He clenched his phone, his phone case creaking slightly. Why couldn't he be perfect? What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he see that Grian was uncomfortable? Was he that awful as himself?

He shakily pulled back, hiccuping through sobs as he opened his chat with Cub. He pressed the chat bubble, typing unsteadily.

'Cub'

'Pick me up'

'please'

'I can't drive like this'

He leaned back against the steering wheel, hoping no one saw him. He waited, clutching his phone, staring intently at his chat with Cub. Tears fell onto his phone screen, blurring some parts.

He needs to reply back. He can't stay here.

Cub stayed offline. Even minutes after. His texts weren't getting read, one hadn't even sent. His chest clenched and he turned his phone off.

He leaned against his steering wheel again, trying to force himself to breathe evenly. It wasn't going well.

There was a knock on his window and he jumped, looking up while desperately trying to wipe tears from his eyes. Mumbo stood outside, looking worried with Tango standing a little further back, hands wrung anxiously.

Scar sniffed, rolling his window down. "Hi guys, sorry, did you need something?" He asked, voice cracking and heavy with tears. "Sorry about this, I, uhm... It's been a rough day."

"Are you okay?" Tango asked, immediately rushing forward, hands resting on Scar's car. "I saw you crying and I didn't know what to do, so I brought Mumbo, he hadn't left yet and I know you're friends so-"

Scar cut Tango off with a teary laugh, motioning for him to slow down. "I'm okay, Tango, really. Just a rough day today, lots of thoughts and stuff. Didn't want to leave while crying," he shrugged, wiping more stray tears from his face. "I wanted to wait for my friend to pick me up."

Mumbo reached inside the car, gently placing a hand on Scar's shoulder. "It didn't look like just a bad day, Scar. You were out of it the whole time during lunch and you sat out of a lecture," his tone was soft and gentle. Scar wanted to cry more. "Do you need to talk?"

Scar opened his mouth to say no, to reassure them he was fine, but he couldn't bring himself to lie again. He closed his mouth, pressing it into a thin line before nodding, squeezing his eyes shut as another sob wracked his chest. He wanted to go home so badly.

"Alright, come on, we're treating you to something nice," Tango swatted Mumbo away, opening the car door. "Where's your wheelchair?"

"I got it, don't worry. Actually, do you want your crutch instead for this, maybe?" Mumbo asked, pausing just by the trunk of his car. "Neither of us would mind going at your speed, I don't think."

Tango nodded in agreement as Scar rubbed his eyes. They stung so badly from his endless crying. His crutch didn't sound too bad for this, it'd be nice to take it slow and get movement in.

"It's, uhm, it's just in the backseat," he said, shifting to place his feet on the pavement, phone still clutched in his hand. Cub hadn't responded. Panic clutched at him, but Tango put a hand on his, taking his attention away.

"You okay?" He asked, tone soft and gentle. His flames danced softly in the air, as if trying to be as underwhelming as a flame elemental could be. "We got you, buddy."

Scar nodded, slipping his phone into his pocket. "My friend just hadn't responded," he said, glancing at Mumbo as he got his crutches out. "He usually does as soon as I text him, and I'm getting worried."

"I'm sure he's okay," Mumbo said, handing Scar the crutches. "Now come on, Tango and I know a place that has some killer pastries and tea, or cocoa if that's what you want right now."

Scar rolled his window up before getting up, standing a little uneasy. "Sounds good," he said half heartedly, walking out of the way so Tango can close his car door. "My head is killing me."

Tango laughed lightly, patting his arm. "I can imagine! You were crying for a while," he said, walking alongside Scar as they started walking. "You'll be okay, buddy, I promise."

Scar smiled, and somewhere, in his mind, he believed him.

-----

"So," Tango started, shifting to comfortably sit in the outside seating of the café that they brought Scar to. It was a different one. There were far too many cafés in the area. "What happened?"

Scar fiddled with his cup, a hot chocolate with marshmallows. Mumbo was still inside getting his drink, and choosing pastries. "Uh, well," Scar hesitated, biting his cheek. Should he talk about this?

Tango waited, sipping his tea as he people watched. He didn't say anything else, giving Scar space and time. Tension left his shoulders. He could stay quiet if he wanted to.

He didn't want to, though.

"I have this, second job," he started, slow and deliberate in his word choice. "And this job, it's a very public, and dangerous one."

The words felt wrong leaving his mouth. He shouldn't be telling Tango, but he needed this off his chest. He needed this gone. He wanted this gone. He needed to tell someone outside of the industry.

"And, uh," he faltered, tears rushing to his eyes again. "Recent-ish, I uhm, I hurt Grian," his voice broke, and he took a deep breath.

Tango put a hand on his arm, small frown on his face. "Take your time, okay? No rush," he said, giving him a gentle pat before retreating, watching him with worry.

Scar took a steadying breath, wiping at his eyes. "I, uh," he struggled, his mouth wanting to clamp shut, while simultaneously wanting to scream everything out. His hand clenched and tears rolled down his face again. "I put an arrow through his shoulder," he whimpered, voice low enough that only Tango could hear.

He covered his face, trying to keep his freshly renewed sobs quiet. "I wasn't," he took a breath, hiccuping. "I wasn't fast enough, I had to hurt him." His voice came out muffled against his hands, tears gathering against his skin.

Tango was silent before gently taking his hands, removing them from his face. He looked shocked once Scar could focus, his eyes blurry from tears. "You're saying you're," Tango trailed off and Scar nodded, a hiccupy sob coming from him.

Mumbo poked his head out, likely hearing the commotion. "You okay?" He asked as Tango stood up, going over to Scar's side to hug him, a horrified look on his face. "What happened?"

Scar shook his head, holding onto Tango tightly. "I hurt him, I hurt him so badly," he sobbed into Tango's shoulder. One of his hands cradled Scar's head, the older clutched his shirt. He could feel Tango's breathing, slow and even, and tried to match it.

Tango gently shushed him, rubbing his head. He turned to Mumbo, exchanging what Scar assumed to be a horrified look because Mumbo stepped outside, sitting down in Tango's chair, maybe. Scar could hear the creak of metal against asphalt.

"What happened?" Mumbo asked again, and Scar looked at him this time, eyes red from crying all over again. "Scar, buddy, talk to me?"

Scar shook his head as Tango pressed his head into Scar's, mumbling something in fire elemental to him. "I hurt Grian," he mumbled, pressing his face back into Tango.

"Hurt him how?" Mumbo asked, a worried look pulling on his face in Scar's mind. "I'm sure it's nothing you can't apologise for."

"Sir, your drink order is done," a barista popped her head out, motioning for him to come back inside. "It'll just be a moment, then you can keep chatting." She disappeared, the door closing behind her. Mumbo sighed, standing up, lingering for a moment before heading inside, likely worried enough to consider staying.

Tango pulled away from him then, gently cupping Scar's face to wipe away tears, nervous looking at the affection he was giving, as if expecting Scar to pull away. "Talk to me? I'm taking you don't want to tell both of us."

Scar nodded slightly, still trying to slow his breathing to match Tango's. "I've been feeling so much," he babbled, words starting to tumble out. "I can't sleep, I don't eat, I don't have time for rest if I don't have school work to complete, and I've been feeling so awful about him."

Another sob forced its way up, with shakey breaths trying to follow a breathing pattern he couldn't feel anymore. Tango glanced down before taking Scar's hand, putting it on his chest. He exhaled his lungs fully, before inhaling deeply and slowly, exhaling slowly as well.

Scar focused on the feeling, trying his best to match Tango's breathing as he kept talking. "I feel like I need to make it up to him, here and in my second job, but he doesn't know," he stuttered for a second, taking a second to follow Tango's breathing.

He licked his lips, slowly feeling his panic recede. Regret started creeping in, slowly but surely. "I don't know how to handle it. I wasn't fast enough, now he's changed because of me, and I shouldn't have told you."

Tango frowned, pulling back as Scar's breathing evened out fully. He patted his shoulder, giving him a smile. "I won't tell anyone, okay? I promise," he said, going to sit back down. Their drinks had cooled down considerably. "You only need to tell Mumbo if you feel comfortable."

"Tell me what? Is everything okay?" Mumbo asked, stepping outside with his coffee in hand, a plate of pastries in the other. Gently, he put the pastries onto their table before sitting down. "Sorry I took so long, my card decided to be finnicky."

Scar laughed lightly, stray tears sliding down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away. "It's okay, don't worry. Thank you for getting our things for us, Mumbo," he smiled at Mumbo, and for once that day, it was a genuine smile. It felt nice.

Mumbo smiled back, taking a sip of his drink. "So, what's happened?"

Tango glanced at Scar, who nodded at him, grabbing the pastry he wanted from the plate.

"Scar, he uhm...." Tango trailed off, tapping the table before he took a breath, opening his mouth again. "Okay, he has this thing he sometimes goes to, right? And he's got this friend there, really great guy, but Scar thinks he hurt him in some way and has to make up for it."

The lie was smooth. Scar seemed inconsolable, literally sobbing in the open daylight about it. "It's also been an amalgamation of other things. He's been proper stressed," Tango tacked on, grabbing his own pastry. "He hasn't been sleeping, or eating well at all. I don't think he's had dinner in a while."

Scar nodded slightly, looking away in embarrassment. He needed to eat better, but he simply didn't have the time.

Mumbo pulled a face, putting a hand on Scar's arm. "Buddy, I'm sure you don't need to make up for much. You're a fantastic guy, and if you'd like, I can make schedules for you? I did the same for Grian," he paused, nerves seemingly getting the better of him.

"Uh, Grian struggles with that stuff, too. Especially now, it helped give him some structure, even if he doesn't exactly go by everything one hundred percent, it's helpful," he shrugged, sipping his drink. "He knows when to break the mold and when not to."

Scar hummed, considering it as he slowly chewed on his pastry. Eventually, he nodded slowly. "I'd really appreciate that," he said, smiling at Mumbo and Tango. "Thanks you two, you guys are seriously the best."

They smiled back, starting to chatter normally about whatever was going on that day for them, slowly but surely getting into a playful rhythm.

Scar had the literal best coworkers.

------

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar rested against his car, waiting for Cub to pick him up. After about half an hour of chatting and properly calming down while Mumbo wrote out a schedule for Scar, Cub had called in a frenzy.

He had been engrossed in his work and didn't realize that his phone had died, so he missed everything. Scar said it was fine, and that he got some help from his coworkers.

Now, he wanted to apologise to Grian, again, before he went to do his patrol. "Hey Grian, uhm, it's Scar again," he sighed, his voice was still a little stuffed from crying. "I'm, uh, I'm really sorry about the earlier voicemail. I didn't mean to be so, well, everywhere."

He dug his heel into the ground, shifting his crutch to stand more comfortably. "You don't need to be worried, by the way, I'm okay. That's, uh," he trailed off, watching Cub pull up in the relatively empty parking lot. He smiled. "That's basically it. See you tomorrow!"

As Scar pressed end voicemail, Cub got out of his car, hurriedly going over to him. His arms wrapped around Scar quickly, resting his head on Scar's shoulder. "I'm still really sorry," he mumbles, earning a laugh from Scar. "I was a dumbass."

"Cub, don't say that!" Scar chastised, happily leaning against him, exhaling in relief. "You weren't a dumbass," he stated, pressing a quick kiss to Cub's cheek. Even if they weren't dating anymore, they still liked being affectionate.

Despite the calm of the atmosphere, Scar's chest squeezed. Texts from Tango after they left to go home burned into his brain. Promises to not tell anyone. Scar needed to tell Cub.

The thought made him queasy. His head swam, and he wanted to turn around and go back to half an hour before, crying his eyes out to Tango. Somewhere else but here.

"Come on, let's get you home. I'll drive you tomorrow, yeah?" Cub moved away, smiling up at Scar before heading towards his car. "Do you want me to sleep over today?" He asked, as if everything was right in the world, and Scar hadn't revealed the biggest secret of his life to someone who wasn't sworn to secrecy.

Scar stood rooted to his spot, breath out of his lungs. He took a breath, tears stinging his eyes again before he cleared his throat. "Cub?" He called, unable to move. A lump formed in his throat. What was he doing?

Cub turned back to him, furrowing his eyebrows. "Yeah? What's wrong?" He asked, voice now unsteady. He faltered, halfway to his car. The silence prevailed until Cub broke it again. "Scar, what's wrong?" Cub pressed, concern etched into his features.

Scar opened his mouth, then closed it. His breath stuttered and he clenched his jaw. He needed to tell Cub. He had to. Yet still, the words clumped together in his throat, refusing to budge. Refusing to be spoken.

He took a shaky breath, swallowing hard. He tried again, the words trying to desperately press out of his mouth, move his tongue. Tears stung his eyes and he pressed his mouth into a thin line, clutching at his crutch.

He looked at Cub with fear and terror, having to hold onto his crutch with both hands, legs shaking. Cub walked back over to him, hands gently holding him. "Scar, you didn't...." Cub trailed off, pity in his expression. It had to be.

Scar leaned against Cub, clutching onto him with his free hand. "I had to tell someone," he forced out, tears slipping down his face. They dripped onto Cub's shirt, the blue staining a dark teal. "I had to. It was killing me, Cub, it was killing me," he whispered, held back sobs sticking in his throat.

"It's okay," Cub soothed, rubbing Scar's back. "It's okay, don't feel bad, it's okay," he choked up himself, tears thickening Cub's voice. "Oh, Scar, I'm so sorry."

Scar hiccuped and sobbed.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

It was late into the evening by the time Scar got the thought in his head to call Grian again. He had been spending time with Cub, resting and talking and crying.

He's probably cried himself out for a century.

"Hey Grian, it's Scar," he said, shifting to rest more comfortably on his couch. Jellie sat on his chest with his legs in Cub's lap. "I wanted to check in and maybe make some plans?"

He glanced at Cub, his eyes flitting over to the clock on his wall. He could still go out. "Uhm, maybe lunch again? Or breakfast," he trailed off, thoughts flitting to the cold wind nipping on his skin and the delighted laughter of Grian.

He stuttered, babbling for a moment before regaining his composure. "Uh, uhm, I just, yeah! That's kinda it, get back to me soon, please?" He ended the voicemail, his hand flopping off the side of the couch, phone in hand.

He exhaled, rubbing his face before he shifted, gently holding Jellie to sit up. "I think I want to go out to my patrol," he said, putting Jellie down onto the couch, swinging his legs over the edge. "At least get something in."

Cub gave him a look, catching his arm before Scar could stand up, cane already in hand. "What do you mean? You had a horrible day today, I'm not going to let you go out just willy nilly! You need rest, Scar."

Scar sighed, leaning back on his couch as Jellie crawled back into his lap. "Yeah, I know, but," he faltered, looking at the phone in his hand. "I want to know if he's okay. He hasn't responded to me at all, Cub, what if something happened?"

Cub frowned, keeping quiet for a moment. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I'm sure he's fine. We would have heard if something did happen," he tried to reason, gently rubbing his shoulder to soothe him.

Scar looked at Cub, trying to find the proper words to express his feelings. "I want to see him, Cub. I really do," he said, voice quiet, nearly unhearable over the TV in the background. "I hang out with him sometimes as HotGuy," he stretched the truth a little, the white lie off his lips before he could think of it, "and I think we get along. Please?"

Cub opened and closed his mouth, pressing it into a thin line before sighing. "Alright, okay," he gave in, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But I'll accopany you the whole time through your earpiece, got it? Anything wrong happens, I want you to bail if no one else is there, alright?"

Scar nodded along, an infectious grin spreading on his face. He laughed lightly, pulling Cub into a hug before gently moving Jellie off his lap before standing up. "I'll be fine, I promise."

Cub waved him off, smile on his own face. "Alright, alright, scram, before I decide to keep you here," he joked, laughter his only reply as Scar headed to change into his costume.

------

The night was cool. It nipped at his skin, just like last time. He fixed the scarf wrapped around his neck, now quite glad he trusted that impulsive decision. He won't be as cold, hopefully.

'You sure you want to do this?' Cub spoke in his ear, his voice buzzing with nerves. 'I really don't think this is a good idea, Scar.'

HotGuy rolled his eyes as he hopped across rooftops, trying to get to Grian's area quickly. "Yes, I'll be fine," he said, grunting as he landed a little heavily, rolling to save himself from a few bruises. "I want to see him, Cub, I told you already."

He stood up, shaking himself off as he checked if the scarf was still in place. It was. "Besides, I just want to chat a little with him, then I'll come back," HotGuy vaulted over a barrier, easily going back to running. "Nothing will happen."

He heard Cub sigh through his radio, imagining him lean back in his chair, rubbing his eyes with his glasses pushed up. A smile played on his lips at the mental image.

'If I hear or see anything wrong, I will be calling you back, got it?' Cub asked, earning a huff of a laugh from HotGuy. 'Scar, I'm serious.'

He rolled his eyes as he hopped down from the building he was on, near the grocery store he saw Grian at a day or so ago. "Yeah, yeah, got it captain."

HotGuy slowed down, looking around. A few people pointed and stared in excitement, but no show of Grian. Somewhere in his mind, Scar cringed. Of course Grian wasn't just out and about. Why would he be?

He sighed, walking towards the park near Grian's place. At least he can actually do some patrolling. Wasn't that bad, and the fresh air was nice.

As he neared the bench they both sat at before, over and over, he stretched, feeling his back and shoulders back. Even if he won't see Grian today, it was actually nice to be out in the cold.

He sat down, exhaling. The day really had been stressful, Cub wasn't wrong about that, but he needed to handle it some way else. Being HotGuy, it helped.

His thoughts trailed off as someone sat next to him. He hadn't realized he was spacing out. He sat up straight, glancing at the person.

"Hi again," Grian said, smiling slightly at HotGuy before dropping the smile. "What are you doing out this late? Getting in the patrol you skipped out on?" He asked, crossing his legs as he looked at HotGuy.

"You could say that," HotGuy replied, tone teasing. "Maybe I just wanted to see my favourite professor," he joked, leaning an arm against the cold wood of the bench, resting his chin as he smiled confidently at Grian.

Grian rolled his eyes, shaking his head before looking back at HotGuy. "You kept my scarf, and now you're wearing it," he stated, reaching out to gently unravel it. HotGuy froze, having to stop himself from taking Grian's hand and asking him to let him keep it.

Instead of putting it on, Grian wrapped it back around HotGuy's neck, tying it neatly before tucking the ends into itself, his fingers brushing HotGuy's neck. "There you go," he leaned back again, as if that action didn't cause several screeching halts in HotGuy's brain.

He blinked, trying to catch up to the events that just happened. "Uhm, you don't want it back?" He asked, sputtering just slightly as he touched the scarf, his cheeks burning. "I didn't mean to take it, I was just tired."

Grian shrugged, tipping his head back. "I don't mind if you keep it. Red fits you," he said, voice light. "Besides, you'll need it more. You don't seem to like dressing up for colder weather."

HotGuy opened and closed his mouth before looking away, rendered speechless.

'This is the guy you wanted to see so desperately, and you can't even reply to a compliment,' Cub teased in his ear, causing HotGuy to glare at nothing, his ears burning now.

"Shut up," he mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What?" Grian spoke, looking at HotGuy with a confused face. "Why should I shut up?"

Scar sputtered, shaking his hands as he quickly tried to fix the situation. "Nono, not you!" He hurried the words out, laughing nervously. "I, uh, I have a friend back in the lab that usually supervises what I do, and they're commenting on our conversation."

Grian raised an eyebrow before huffing out a laugh. "Tell the listener that they aren't quite welcome here," he joked, his head tipped to the side. The streetlights fell just enough onto him that his hair cast a shadow across his eyes, and he looked eerily like CuteGuy for a moment.

HotGuy swallowed, his heart in his throat. They were both so pretty. Instead, he smiled, leaning back against his hand. "Really now? How come? You want our relationship to be a secret? My, professor, you wound me," he teased, leaning in slightly. "Maybe I would like to show you off."

Grian hummed, rolling his eyes again. "I'm just not privy to being watched. Anyway, shouldn't you be heading off now, pretty boy?" He asked, leaning in as well, a quirked smile on his face. "You have to catch up on your patrol, don't you?"

HotGuy blinked, face going slack with the familiarity. His face burned with a blush, and he was sure Grian could see it, too. Still, he just cleared his throat, sliding back into the confidence. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Who says I can't spend some time with my favourite professor?"

'I do, idiot, get back soon,' Cub chimed and HotGuy clenched his hand into a fist. He may have to pay Cub back for the comments later. Scar thinks he still has some glitter around.

"The professor does," Grian teased before standing up, holding a hand out to help HotGuy stand. He took his hand, pulling himself up. "Seriously though, go home. I can drive you again, if you want."

'Scar, no,' Cub immediately chimed in, basically stopping any impulsive thought HotGuy could have. 'That's not safe, not again.'

HotGuy glanced away for a second. Not many people were around. Grian didn't do anything last time. Scar couldn't imagine Grian doing anything ever, past being grumpy at him for being an emerald soldier.

He debated in his head for a few more seconds before he turned to Grian and nodded. "Yeah, okay. Do you remember the address?"

'Scar,' Cub complained in his ear, and he cringed at his tone. 'I-' He sighed, defeat clear in it. 'Okay, alright. Your fault if you get tagged, I'm just saying.'

HotGuy chuckled, shaking his head as he followed Grian to his car, keys already jingling in his hand. "My friend says you'll tag me to know my location."

Grian laughed, unlocking the car. "I mean, I might. Who knows, maybe it'd be good to know where you live if this becomes a habit," he joked, climbing inside.

HotGuy stood by the passenger door for a second, hand resting on the handle. This.... Won't become a habit, will it?

He pushed the thought aside and got in.

------

The car was warm, like last time. Cub chatted in his ear about how idiotic he was, but he knew it was just worry. He leaned against the window, like last time.

Music softly streamed into the air, and he felt himself doze. He wasn't even tired. Or was he? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that he was safe.

'And I know you like this guy, Scar, but,' Cub droned on in his ear, a comforting voice in the even more comforting environment.

Something about this whole situation was inherently comforting. He took a deep breath, trying to stay awake.

Grian hummed, joining the gentle cacophony of noise. Tendrils of sleep wrapped around him. Maybe a habit like this wouldn't be bad.

-----

Scar woke to gentle shaking. He blinked, the car quiet and still. "Hey, HotGuy, we're here," Grian said, hand soft against Scar's shoulder. "I'm a little further away, there were some cop cars around the area I dropped you off last, I didn't want them to see you."

Scar nodded, stretching as he woke up more. Cub was quiet in his ear. "What time is it?" He mumbled, rubbing his cheek.

Grian let out an awkward little laugh, looking away. "It, uhm, it's 10 pm," he said quietly, tapping his hands against his thigh.

Scar froze, trying to catch up. 10 pm? It was about 9 when they started driving. He turned to Grian, suppressing a yawn before he spoke. "You drove me around for an hour?" He asked, more confused and bewildered than anything.

Grian shrugged, looking back at him. "You fell asleep. I did the same last time," he looked away, clearly embarrassed at being caught. "I know you do patrols a shit ton, they take up a lot of time and energy, and they can't be healthy for you. You always act so sluggish, anyway."

Scar blinked. Him? Sluggish? When? He furrowed his eyebrows before patting himself down. He still had everything on him. He shrugged, brushing it off. "Thank you, honestly. I don't think I've slept better, ignoring the crick in the neck," HotGuy joked, opening the door.

"Yeah, no problem," Grian said, waving him bye as HotGuy got out, holding onto his bow tightly. "Stay safe, HotGuy."

The car door slammed shut and Scar stood in the cold night air. He inhaled, letting the coldness seep into him. He stretched properly, his back cracking before he started walking, the rumble of a starting car following him.

He turned, watching Grian drive off. He stayed there for a little longer, his hand going to Grian's scarf. His heart pattered in his heart as he pressed his face into it, inhaling. It still smelled like him.

HotGuy burned with a blush as he quickly turned, walking towards his house. He shouldn't get this distracted, especially about civilians. Still, he let his hand hold the scarf, the material soft against his calloused hand.

The walk to his house was a little longer than last time, his earpiece still quiet. Cub could have fallen asleep, that's always likely. Still, anxiety clenched in his chest. What if Cub was hurt?

He rubbed the scarf, grounding himself softly. Cub was probably fine. He can hold his own. His house came into view, dark and quiet. Maybe Cub was actually asleep. Hopefully he was.

Scar pulled his keys out of his pouch, having remembered to put them away. He unlocked the door, walking inside and closing it behind him. He exhaled, leaning his head against the wood. He was still tired.

He shucked his equipment off, placing his visor where he had the last time Grian drove him. Sleep ebbed at him. Still, he moved, slowly changing out of his outfit as he went.

Soon enough, he had changed into a sleep shirt and shorts, his boots still on. As exhausting as the legs were, it felt nice being able to walk in his own home without help sometimes. Especially as he may still need to run if something had happened to Cub.

Though, as he pushed open the room that's meant for Cub, the guest room, he found the man passed out, head laying on his desk. His glasses were skewed, his cheek mushed up against his arm.

Scar smiled, all tension leaving his body as he walked over to Cub. He rested his hand gently against Cub's shoulder, shaking him. "Cub," he said, leaning down to turn his computer off. "Get up, sleepyhead, go to bed."

Cub's room had always been a dilemma between them. Not a fight, but a dilemma. Scar had set it up as soon as he could earn his stay at his house, but Cub never liked the idea of 'intruding' in Scar's life after he became HotGuy, saying he shouldn't bring work home.

Scar had never objected to it, knowing his independence meant a lot to Cub, even if he didn't value it as much as he did. Still, the room was open for him, if he ever needed it.

Cub stirred, shifting in the dark room. The light from the hall spilled onto him just barely. He sat up, Scar's hand still resting on him. "Scar," he mumbled, turning to him, his spinny chair following suit.

Scar smiled, helping him up and over to the bed, getting him to climb in. Half asleep, Cub mumbled complaints about him being late, slowly quietening as Scar reached over, taking his glasses off and placing it onto the nightstand.

"Sleep well," he whispered to Cub, quietly walking out of the room and pulling the door closed.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar leaned against his bedroom wall. He had gotten properly undressed, had a shower and eaten, and now he wanted to check up on Grian, just to be sure.

"Hey Gri," he started, tapping his hand against his leg. He wasn't really tired, honestly. He wasn't sure why he was calling Grian. "You still haven't gotten back to me, so I wanted to call and check-up."

Nervousness brimmed in his throat, half formed words dying on his lips. The scarf was laying in his lap. It still smelled like him. "I hope you sleep well, and that you're doing well. I'll see you tomorrow."

He pressed end voicemail, exhaling slowly. He stared at his phone screen. No new messages, nothing. He shut his phone, shifting to lay down.

He stared at the ceiling, phone on his chest while the scarf was clutched in his hand. Guilt ebbed at him. He was making Grian care for him extra. He shouldn't even seek him out as HotGuy, and yet.

He turns onto his side, letting his phone lay next to him. The scarf was soft, probably an expensive material, a gift even, and Scar took it. He stared at it in the dim light of his room before pressing it into his face, inhaling whatever scent of Grian's cologne was still there.

Comfort shifted through him nearly instantly, his body melting into the bed. He never realized how much comfort Grian actually brought him. Maybe it was increasing with his visits as HotGuy, or maybe he was just creepy for any of this, but it brought him comfort.

His mind slowly drifted off, his last unscattered thoughts about plans tomorrow.

------

Scar dreamt about Grian. The thought struck him as soon as he had opened his eyes, the dream already breaking into pieces in his grasp.

The scarf was tangled across his body, his hand holding it to his chest like some stuffed animal. He sat up, shutting his blaring alarm off. Vague ideas of what happened in his dream trail through his mind.

He was HotGuy, sitting in Grian's car as he drove. He wasn't tired, not that time. The scene outside of the windows was vague, something foresty, and Grian was smiling and laughing and he leaned over once, at a red light, and his mouth ghosted his for just a moment and-

Scar stopped his train of thought there, ears burning. He took a steadying breath. He had to get his feelings under control, he didn't even like Grian like that. Did he?

He shook it off. Maybe he did, but he wasn't good enough for Grian, if that was the case. He sighed, grabbing his cane to stand up.

Hopefully Grian was okay and wanted to hang out. Scar still had to make up for the arrow.

------

"You know," Cub started, halfway to the uni. He tapped the steering wheel absently, staring out of the windshield. "He wasn't that bad with you as HotGuy. When you fell asleep, he pulled over and let me know he'll drive you around a little."

Scar looked up from his phone, in the middle of letting Tango know of his plans that day. He raised an eyebrow, before furrowing them. "What do you mean?" He asked, looking back at his phone to quickly finish the text before closing his phone, putting it away to pay attention to Cub.

Cub shrugged slightly, clicking on his blinker as he turned left, taking a slight detour. "I don't know what he did, but one moment the car was turning off and he was close enough to your ear piece for me to hear him clearly and not all muffled," he said, stopping at a red light. "I didn't want to wake you, so," he trailed off, making a hum noise.

Scar let out a small 'oh,' heart picking up. Grian let Cub know, even if he was previously distrustful of Cub listening in. The thought made his face burn. "That's," he trailed off, covering his face for a moment. He giggled before looking back at Cub, who was giving him a raised eyebrow. "Oh, shut," he waved him off.

Cub laughed, turning into the teacher's parking lot. "Fine, fine. Do you want me to pick you up today as well?" He asked, turning the car off before turning to Scar, small smile on his face. "I can overnight again, too."

Scar glanced outside for a second, debating. He shook his head, turning back to Cub with a smile. "Nah, I'll be fine!"

Cub nodded, leaning over to kiss Scar's cheek before he turned to get out and help get Scar's wheelchair from Scar's car. It was probably a dumb mistake he forgot to tell Cub it was in there, but oh well.

Today will be fine.

------

Grian wasn't working today. Scar had been told by Tango, who swung by to give him some papers during his first period, babbling about how Grian being out of school today made some things difficult to cover.

Anxiety blossomed in his chest, his lungs aching with fear that he did something wrong as HotGuy, or as himself. His voicemails were still unresponded to.

What if Grian had been hurt?

The rest of his lectures before lunch were a half blur. His mind reeling and receding and tumbling half scattered thoughts as he tried his best to reel his anxiety in. None of them were talk heavy, thankfully, but still, his absent minded behaviour was an issue.

Now, he sat in the teacher's lounge, drumming his fingers against his desk. His head clouded with anxious thoughts, having sent Grian a few texts already, hoping he's doing okay and that he comes to work next week.

Why did it have to be Friday?

"Hey Scar!" Mumbo said, sitting down next to him, bringing him out of his daze. "You doing okay?" He asked, leaning against his elbow, smiling at Scar. He looked tired and worried, the smile not quite reaching his eyes.

Scar hummed, shifting to turn to Mumbo fully. "Yeah, I'm okay. You?" He asked, worrying looking over his friend. "What, uh... Is everything okay?" He chuckled nervously, a weak smile on his lips. Was this to do with Grian?

Mumbo waved, suppressing a yawn. "Yeah, I'm okay, just lots to do today, is all. Grian wasn't doing too great, so you know," he brushed the theme aside, acting like it was all casual. "Listen, do you wanna go have lunch? I can bring Tango, he's free as well, and Jimmy I think."

Mumbo droned on while Scar's head filled with static. He forced himself to breathe, pushing aside the static. "Yeah, that sounds good! Let's get lunch, did you have a place in mind?" He asked, slipping on a radiant smile. Grian wasn't doing great. He shouldn't be spamming him.

Mumbo staggered, opening and closing his mouth before recovering. "I, uh, the same Kirby place as last time? Or we can go back to the pastry place, if you want," he shrugged slightly, pulling his phone out to likely text Tango or Jimmy. Scar must've missed something he said.

"Yeah, sounds good," Scar looked aside, trying to gather his thoughts. He'll be fine not knowing. Right? "Uh, sorry, were you saying something else before I interrupted? I'm kind of, uh," he made a vague gesture, smiling nervously. "Everywhere today."

Mumbo nodded, chuckling. "Yeah, I get that. I'm everywhere, too," he leaned back, sighing in an exasperated way. "Grian's been getting visits from HotGuy," he said, seemingly taking an entirely different direction.

Scar straightened out, giving Mumbo a shocked look. "Really? That's, uh," he stuttered for a second, his heart in his throat. He licked his lips, deciding to keep quiet.

Mumbo nodded, before a giddy smile grew on his face. "Yeah, I know! It's so cool, he's so cool!" He threw his arms up, a familiar light now shining in his eyes. "And what does he do? Keep it a secret until now! He gave him his favourite scarf!! He never lets anyone else have it!"

"His favourite scarf?" Scar staggered, his mind suddenly reeling after moments of wishful silence. Excitement rushed past him, his cheeks burning suddenly. The soft feeling of the material and the smell of his cologne flooded his mind, and it felt like he was about to die right then and there.

Mumbo nodded, laughing lightly. "Yeah! And he still says he hates HotGuy! Like, ooh my God, my best friend's an idiot," he shifted, sitting up. "Alright, Jimmy said we can meet there, so you ready to go?"

Scar nodded, his hand clenching around the phantom feeling of the soft scarf. Grian's favourite. An infectious grin stretched across his face. "Yeah, I'm good to go."

-----

The café was a bit busier than last time Scar was there. They sat inside again, Tango and Jimmy on one end of a table, Mumbo and Scar on the other. The walk to the café itself had been relatively calm and quiet, with Mumbo excitedly telling Scar about everything Grian had experienced.

Now, as Tango and Jimmy babbled and rambled with Scar happily listening to the banter between them and Mumbo, he was actually more glad for the noise and chaos.

"-and then he said 'Oh yeah, Tim, by the way, HOTGUY CAME BY EARLIER'!" Jim raised his voice, earning a laugh from an already giggling Tango and a smiley Mumbo. "Like, Grian!! My good brother in Christ, that's not normal!" He finished, giggling himself as María came by their table, smile already on her face as she placed their drinks on their table.

"Having fun, boys?" She asked, getting an enthusiastic yes from all of them. She laughed, walking away, likely to get their food.

"I love María, she's the coolest," Tango commented, taking a sip of his drink, his tail flicking happily behind himself. "It's like she's sunshine incarnate."

Jimmy let out an 'awww,' leaning close to the mutant. "I thought that was me, Tango," he drew the syllables out, angling his head, earning a huffed laugh and an eyeroll from Tango, who leaned up to kiss him. Jimmy let out a giggle, happily kissing him back.

Mumbo and Scar let out fake disgusted sounds at the same time, making each other laugh. "I can't believe we thought of the same thing!" Mumbo laughed out, doubling over their table, careful of everyone's drink still.

Scar let out a half choked laugh, taking his drink to calm down. The coffee was still fantastic here, but Tango had been trying to convince him to try a milkshake, and now he certainly didn't regret it. The milkshake was rich, well made and surprisingly cold. "Woah," he said after staring at his drink for a second.

"I told you!" Tango exclaimed, grinning wildly at Scar. "It's so good! My favourite will forever be their strawberry one, but I know you're a strawberry hater!" He said, his tone teasing as he leaned back, crossing his arms, grin not quite calming down.

Scar threw his hands up, a smile etched deep in his features. His cheeks were hurting from how much he was smiling. "Well, excuse me!" He said with fake offense, only to break down in a laugh, unable to keep up with the bit. He covered his face, trying to muffle his laugh.

María walked back over, placing respective plates of food onto the table. "Here you go, boys! Enjoy," she said, giving them a happy smile before walking off.

The chatter in the café continued, Scar's group adding to it. Being loud and uncaring and free felt liberating, his head finally quiet after days and days of worrying and buzzing.

Mumbo knocked his shoulder against him, and he laughed, head thrown back as he knocked Mumbo back, happy.

Lunch was a good idea.

------

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar was leaning back in his car, tapping his fingers against the wheel. He was still smiley, his mood having lifted during the lunch, staying at a good high. "Hey Grian," he started, reaching over to start his car. "I just wanted to call and check in. Mumbo said you haven't been texting anyone, so don't worry about reaching out."

Somewhere, in his mind, he felt worry tug at him. He can go see if Grian was around later as HotGuy. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to make any plans over the weekend? Uh, Tango and Jimmy invited me out to go to that new aquarium in the area," he glanced outside, seeing Mumbo walk towards his bike. He threw him a happy wave and smile before turning back to his conversation.

"And I was wondering if you'd like to come with? I know you really like marine life, and it's supposed to have a lot of cool fish and octopus and stuff like that!" He grasped at his knowledge of sea life, feeling himself come up maybe a little short. Nervousness wriggled in his stomach. He was kind of asking Grian out.

Embarrassment flooded his cheeks and he quickly scrambled to wrap up the voicemail. "Uh, uhm, just get back to me if you wanna come! It's gonna be on Sunday, so you still have some time to think about it! Anyway, bye! See you soon!"

The silence after he ended call was loud, his own embarrassment eating away at him. His face burned and he covered his face, letting out a muffled yell before buckling himself up, making sure his phone was safe and sound on the passanger seat.

He rubbed his face for another moment before turning the engine on and driving.

-----

His patrol was going okay. He had some time before it started to eat and rest, but his body ached from bruises and old cuts ached in phantom pain.

He sighed, resting against a railing on a rooftop. If only CuteGuy was around, all of this would be more fun. He let his gaze wander over the crowds, which were slowly thinning as the minutes ticked. People were slowly getting home to start preparing dinner, or to rest.

His hands twitched and he thought for a second before kneeling, pulling his quiver off and pulling his phone out. Grian's number was on speed dial at this rate.

It rang for a few minutes before ringing out, his voice greeting Scar.

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

He sighed, sitting down onto the cold roof floor. The beep sounded and he put on his happy voice. "Hi Grian! Sorry to call again so soon," he shuffled, laying down onto the stone. The cold was shocking.

"I just wanted to check if you were okay and holding up well?" His voice strayed, unsurity pulling an edge into his voice. "I know you don't feel well, but I'm worried," he trailed off, his lips pressing into a thin line. "I want to be sure you're okay. Maybe we can meet up? Or I can hop over to yours?"

His chest hurt. His feelings a whirlwind of worry and concern. He wanted to know that Grian was doing well. He sat back up, brushing a hand through his hair. He wasn't wearing his hair up today. "I'm sorry if I sound," he took a breath, trying to find the right word, "pushy, but I'd like to help? Especially after the whole fungus thing."

The words died in his throat. Nervousness clamped down onto him like a vice, iron grip and he couldn't wiggle out of it. He took a breath, forcing words out past the lump in his throat. "I," he stammered, his hands becoming clammy with sweat. "I'm sorry for bringing that up, I, uh, I know it must be a sore subject so, uh... I'm sorry."

He bit his tongue, the pain harsh. "That's all. Bye," he ended the voicenote, sitting back, his phone clutched in his hand. God. He probably upset Grian with that, didn't he? He fucked up. Again.

He hurt Grian, again. With the same goddamn thing. His bow lay heavy in his hand, the sound of an arrow zipping through the air, and the distorted screams of the fungus that possessed one of his best friends echoed in his head.

He dropped his phone back into his quiver, ignoring how it'll probably scratch the screen up badly. That was fine, though. Any essence of himself was prone to damage, and honestly? Honestly, he preferred it that way.

He struggled himself up, feeling unsteady as his head whirled with thoughts and feelings. HotGuy took a breath, then another and another. He steadied himself, pulling his quiver back onto his back.

He leaned back against the railing, exhaling as a breeze brushed past his face. HotGuy looked back over the now small crowd, noticing a particular red sweater in the mingling crowd. Grian.

A grin stretched across his face as he easily vaulted over, making his way down easily. The rest of the troupe didn't register in his mind, only catching up to the fact that Grian was with Mumbo, his hand clenched around Mumbo's jacket, his breaths hurried and unsteady.

Tango stood behind them, worriedly fumbling with his hands, not knowing what to do. As HotGuy jogged up, he slowed, glancing wearily at the small group. "Is, uh, everything okay?" He asked, his phone call earlier now hanging at the back of his head. Did he do this?

Grian babbled something, high and keening, before he broke into a sob, basically collapsing onto Mumbo, who caught him, slowly going down onto the ground with him.

Tango hurriedly approached him, his own breathing panicked. "I don't know what happened! I don't know, I touched him, here," Tango pointed to his left shoulder, a tear stricken expression on his face. "And, and now he's freaking out and I caused this, I caused this," he covered his face, leaning against Scar.

Scar wrapped his arm around Tango, his brain trying to clear the dark cloud in his mind. Tango devolved into fire elemental, tears dripping onto his suit, but his eyes stuck on Grian. He was shaking like a leaf, crying into Mumbo's shirt as Mumbo gently rubbed his back, holding him close.

Scar did that. HotGuy did that.

HotGuy gently moved Tango away from him, giving him a reassuring smile. "It wasn't your fault, okay? This isn't your fault, professor, I promise. You didn't know, and that's not," Scar hesitated, feeling like he was reassuring himself. Maybe he was. "Believe me, okay?"

Tango nodded weakly, his eyes puffy from the tears that were irritating his eyes. HotGuy glanced back at Grian, an idea slowly forming in his head. He took his quiver off, fishing his phone out. No clear scratches. What a shame.

He wrestled the phone case off as quickly as he could, holding his phone delicately. Cub might murder him if he needed a new phone any time soon. He places his quiver on the ground, giving Tango a sign to watch it.

He stepped over to Mumbo and Grian, slowly sitting down onto his knees, just off to the side of the two. Gently, he reached out and touched Grian's arm. He jerked, pulling his head out of Mumbo's jacket to look at HotGuy with a panicked expression.

"Hi professor," he said, shifting to sit criss cross instead. "Could I have your hand?" He asked, holding his free hand out.

Grian stared at him for a moment, breathing slowly calming down as he processed the question before placing his hand in HotGuy's. Gently, HotGuy turned his hand palm up, placing his phone in Grian's hand. He pressed his thumb against his fingerprint reader, opening his phone. Grian looked at him with confusion.

"Go into my gallery," HotGuy said, knowing that, anything in his gallery was basically nothing but Jellie. Everything else he kept in private folders. "Everything on there will be of my cat."

Grian had quietened down by then, tears still streaming down his face as he did as HotGuy told him. His face took on a calmer expression as he scrolled through endless pictures of Jellie. "Her name's Jellie. My parents got me her when I was younger," Scar said, smiling happily as he leaned in to see the pictures as well.

"She's a queen, and rules my house. She adores my friend back at the lab, basically doesn't let him go when he's around," he laughed lightly, watching as Grian took all the information in.

"She's cute," he mumbled, handing HotGuy his phone back. "I like her," he trailed off, eyes on HotGuy before looking away, muttering a thank you.

HotGuy smiled at him, motioning Tango to give him his quiver. He didn't want to move, he wanted to stay in range of Grian, in case he needed something, anything.

Tango handed him his quiver, arrows sliding against one another as he quickly popped his phone case back on, trying to hide it from the other two the best he could. He let his phone slide down to the side as he fixed his quiver back onto his back, looking back at Mumbo and Grian.

Grian had shifted back to hiding in Mumbo, but his breathing was even and slow. He was quietly muttering something to Mumbo, and Mumbo was nodding along. He looked over at HotGuy and smiled.

"Thanks for that, I usually, uh," Mumbo trailed off, looking down as Grian shifted away from him, sitting back on his own. "I don't usually know what to do," he finished, rubbing Grian by his arms as a last resort to comfort him.

Scar smiled, comfort blooming in his chest. "Ah, I just thought he'd like to finally see my kitty. I did tell him I'd show her some time!" He joked, moving to get up, stretching. "Past that little thing, you guys doing okay?" He asked, eyes straying to Grian and then Tango.

Tango's eyes were swelled, and he was trying very hard to stop his own emotional panic. Scar stepped over to Tango, gently taking his face in his hands to look at the swelling. What a nasty allergic reaction. He let out a small hiss, patting for his pockets before remembering he didn't have any. "Sorry, I'd give you antihistamines if I had any."

Tango laughed, patting his own pockets. "It's fine, don't worry, I got my own," he stepped back, popping a pill out of a small packet he took out of his pocket, swallowing the pill dry.

"Tango, you monster," Grian chimed in, a shocked expression on his face. "No water? Really? What kind of a heathen does that?" He joked, his head tipped back, a smile light on his face.

God, he looked so tired. Scar's heart clenched. He stepped forward, offering a hand to Grian. "Well, a heathen with plans to not have allergic reactions, I guess," HotGuy joked, his eyes sticking to his hand as Grian took it, helping him up. Heat prickled in his chest. He turned to Mumbo, extending a hand to him as well.

Mumbo took it, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he stood up. "Thanks," he sputtered out, laughing awkwardly as he looked away hurriedly, nervousness radiating off of him.

Wow. Scar didn't expect Mumbo to be this bad around him while he was HotGuy. He tried to muffle his laughter, but it squeezed out, leaning forwards as he laughed before straightening out, turning to Grian.

"Professor, I was originally coming over to give you some company, but as it seems you have some company already," HotGuy said, a tease curling into his tone, glancing at Tango. The elemental was glancing between them, a furrowed look on his face, as if trying to figure out something. "I suppose I'll be taking my leave."

Grian rolled his eyes, huffing out a laugh as he patted his pockets, pulling his phone out. A guilty look flashed across his features. "Ah, crud. Scar called me again," he mumbled, glancing at Mumbo before he looked back at HotGuy, a raised eyebrow quirking his expression.

HotGuy paused, raising an eyebrow back, keeping his gaze. A sly smile stretched across Grian's face, and for a moment, an aching familiarity settled in the pit of his stomach. His smile looked so much like CuteGuy's, it was starting to drive him insane.

"I think I have you to blame," Grian said, his voice smooth, deep after his bout of crying. "You always seem to be around when I miss his calls." HotGuy laughed, leaning a hand against his hip, tilting his head at Grian, who let out a delighted laugh.

"Really now, professor?" He teased back, the flirt brimming up his throat and down his tongue, feeling in his element as he leaned forwards slightly, his weight canting to seemingly press into Grian's personal space. "I think you're simply more excited to see me."

Banter was always his favourite. Dipping into word play, a lovely tease and maybe a flirt here and there, it was why he enjoyed his time with CuteGuy so much. Even if he knew he was being played, the banter was too much to give up.

Mumbo interrupted the two with a fake gag, waving an arm between them, breaking any tension that was finely crafted by HotGuy. "Alright, sheesh," he laughed, glancing at HotGuy with a flustered look, "G, I don't think your word holds up anymore."

Grian let out an offended sound, putting a hand against his chest. "My word holds up! Can you blame me for playing a little?" He asked, leaning against Mumbo, seemingly sapped of any and all energy now.

Mumbo hummed, corralling him away, giving a nervous smile at HotGuy. He stayed put as he was, watching as Mumbo brought Grian towards a bench they can sit down on.

Tango strayed towards him, standing close to him. "Hey, uh," he mumbled, voice still heavy with the shed tears from earlier. "You have been hanging with Grian as, you?" He asked quietly, trying to make sure no one hears him.

Scar looked at him, now glad for his visor. He shrugged, smiling at his friend. "I'm not quite sure what you mean! Prof, I don't even know your name," the lie rolled off him, cheery and slightly tense. Tango was being cautious, but he can't chance it. "The professor over there is just an acquaintance, we've been meeting for a little."

His eyes begged for Tango to drop it, desperation biting his skin. Tango searched his face for a moment, eyebrows furrowing again before clarity passed his face and he nodded. "Right, I must have mixed you up! You're too handsome to exist, you know," he teased, tenseness in his shoulders.

Right. Him and Jimmy. Public flirting wasn't his thing anyway. HotGuy smiled back, letting out a laugh. "Sorry to say, my friend, but I have my eyes set on someone," he said, his head tilting towards Grian before tilting back, his heart pattering.

He took a step back, raising a hand. "I need to get going, anyway! Tell the prof I hope he feels better!" He turned, jogging away to go climb another building, trying to ignore the blush that was creeping up his body.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar was sitting on a roof's edge, swinging his legs idly. It was nearing midnight, and he really should be heading home, and yet.

"Hey Grian," he said, leaning back on his hand. The air was nice and cool. It was a shame he forgot the scarf back home. He needs to get into the habit of wearing it while he still could. "Just wanted to check up, tell you goodnight and stuff."

A breeze swept past him, brushing loose hair against his neck. It felt nice. His eyes fluttered closed, letting out a content sigh. "I hope you'll come with us to the aquarium. It'd be nice to hang out outside of school days."

He thought for a moment, debating whether he should say the words at the tip of his tongue. He danced around the idea, the line dead for a few seconds before he finally spoke. "That's all. Bye."

-------

Scar stared at his wall that night. His thoughts whirred in his head, giddiness and worry battled each other in his thoughts. He helped Grian calm down, but also it was from a traumatic episode he was the source of.

His hand clenched the scarf, his face pressing into the soft material. It was Grian's favourite. He inhaled deeply, getting the last remnants of Grian's cologne. Comfort seeped into his limbs, his eyes drooping.

He felt like a weirdo for doing this. His mind whooshed from left to right, emotions dripping and tipping, leaving him an anxious, tired mess.

His eyes slowly closed, sleepiness taking him into its grasp and pulling him under, the scarf held to his face.

------

Scar woke up to his alarm. His thoughts scattered, the last remnants of his dream hanging on, for just a moment. Wings were wrapped around him, and CuteGuy's laugh, which had the same octave as Grian's, echoed in his mind.

He sat up, turning his alarm off with a groggy pat to his phone. Saturdays were his sleep-in days, so the sun was high, washing into his room in soft rays. Dust particles played in his room as he laid back down, stretching.

He doesn't have anything to do today. Jimmy and Tango had agreed to go on Sunday, which probably wasn't a smart idea, but the crowds may actually be fun.

He shifted, checking his phone for any new notifications. He had a few texts from Grian. He jolted, sitting up, his heart pattering in his chest.

His fingers tapped the back of his phone nervously, chewing on his cheek before he pressed the notifications, being brought to their chat.

'Hey Scar,' the first text read, and a giddy smile stretched across his face immediately. 'Sorry for not responding sooner, I was pretty busy with stuff.'

'I'd really like to go with you, Tango and Timmy to that new aquarium. Tango told me a bit more about the plans, and Sunday works perfectly for me.'

'And if you're worried about bothering me and some such, you aren't.'

'I like your calls and check-ups, I really really do.'

'Please don't stop doing them.'

Scar let out a delighted giggle, falling back onto his bed. He reread the texts, happiness tight in his chest, spreading warmth all ovet his body. His legs curled into himself, shifting to lay on his side. His hand patted around for the scarf, the soft material between his fingers moments later.

He stared at the text again, rubbing the material idly. He giggled again, quickly sitting up to reply.

'Hey Grian! :DD'

'Glad to hear back from you! I'm happy you agreed to come with us! Sorry it's on a Sunday, though, it's the busy body day. Hopefully it won't be too busy.'

'And I'm glad you like my check ups! I'll keep doing them.'

He laid back down, another happy giggle tracking out of his throat. He waited for a second before typing something else, giddiness brushing against his stomach, turning into gentle butterflies.

'I'll buy you something at the aquarium, if you want? Your favourite animals are nurse sharks, right? I'll see if the aquarium has any.'

He raised the scarf to his face, pressing it against his face before inhaling happy, before-

The scarf was losing its scent. Scar froze, recognising his own scent in its place. He slowly sat up, an anxious bubble in his stomach, replacing the giddy feeling from just moments ago.

His mind slowly turned, cogs aggressively trying to figure out a plan. He wanted more of Grian's scent. He quickly pushed the thought down, shifting to the edge of his bed. Jellie meowed, moving aside from where she was laying, rubbing against his leg before disappearing out his bedroom door.

The soft material in his hand shifted against his leg, one end falling near the floor. He stared, before an idea slowly, oh so slowly, formed in his head. He grabbed his cane, standing up.

He looked at the scarf in his hand. He can pack this up nice and neat, he reckons.

-------

The cookies took a while to bake, but it wasn't too much. Scar enjoyed baking, all the while he readied the scarf. As much as he had started to rely on it for his comfort and peace of mind, the loss of scent was probably a sign.

He had folded it neatly, tucked into a rectangular box with space for a small bag of cookies. He was currently trying to figure out how to Tetris some extra sweets in. He'd settled on folding some lolipops and extra chocolates, half worried in the back of his mind about the chocolates melting when his phone rang.

He reached over to one end of his dining table to grab his phone, gently smoothing over the scarf with his free hand. He answered the call, tucking his phone against his ear. "Hello?"

'Hi Scar!' Tango's voice sounded happily over the line. A small buzz sounded in the background, with some shuffling and a muffled laugh from someone who sounded an awful lot like Jimmy.

"Tango! My dear friend, what have I done to receive such an honour?" Scar asked dramatically, walking over to check the cookies. They still had 5 minutes left according to his timer. "Did something come up?"

Tango let out a small noise, a mix between awkwardness and embarrassment. 'Uh, kinda, really unfortunately. I know Grian agreed to come, but it turns out, uh, something came up on Jimmy's and I ends.'

Scar let out a disappointed noise, going to sit down at his dining table. He shifted to snuggly fit into the chairs, the padding soft and comfortable. "Really? That's too bad! I was really excited to check it out with you three. Does Grian know the plans are off?"

There was a slight shuffle, with bit back giggles before Jimmy was on the phone, voice a half laugh. 'Grian still wants to go, buddy, if you want to!' He said before there was more shuffling and Tango was, seemingly, back on the line, as Jimmy was complaining, muffled, in the background.

'As my lovely boyfriend was saying,' Tango laughed a breathy noise, getting cut off by what sounded like a quick peck on the lips. Scar couldn't help but smile at the comfortable affection, deliriously happy for his friends. 'It'd just be you and Gri! Already talked to him, he's fine with it.'

Scar leaned back, humming. About a whole day with Grian didn't sound bad. He tapped his cane against the ground, looking out his dining room table. "Yeah, I don't see why not. Can you let him know?"

'Yeah, course! I gotta go now, stay safe Scar!' Tango said, a similar sentiment being echoed by Jimmy before the call ended. Scar laughed softly, shaking his head. They probably decided to go somewhere romantic. Not that Scar blamed them.

His timer dinged and he got up, grabbing oven mitts to take the cookies out of the oven. They looked good, the caramel mixing with the chocolate chips smoothly. He set the tray to cool, going to open a window to let some fresh air in.

A mildly cold breeze brushed into the room, curling around him comfortably. Hopefully it'll stay this nice and cool during his patrol.

------

It was awkward to carry the box around. He wasn't sure where Grian was right now, and he didn't quite trust the citizens around to leave a gift alone, idly waiting on a bench.

If only he knew where Grian lived.

Well, he did, but it wasn't enough. He wanted to leave the box on Grian's windowsil, or knock on his door and surprise him, see his smile up close again.

HotGuy shook the thoughts away, or tried to. The scarf burned a hole through the box in his mind. All he wanted to do was take the meticulously tied bow off, feel the material again, hold it against his face for one last time.

He was regretting having a conscience.

It wasn't going to be an overly busy day though, from the looks of things. Scar had been on patrol for a few hours now, the day slowly creeping into evening as he stopped, sitting down on a flat roof of an apartment.

He fumbled his phone out of his quiver. No new notifications, which was kind of reassuring. Still, he rang Grian, his mind tuning off as the call rang out, as always.

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

He scanned the area as he waited for the beep. He wasn't anywhere remotely close to where Grian lived, as far as he knew. It would be still nice to see him.

The beep sounded. "Hey Grian!" He started immediately, a cheery tone worming its way to his words. "Hope you're doing well, and I'm excited to go the aquarium! Hopefully Tango's told you already," he paused for a second, shifting as his eyes caught sight of an all too familiar red sweater.

"He and Jimmy got something going on. It's a shame, I know Jimmy really likes aquariums, but I'm sure they're going to somewhere romantic," he joked, squinting as he followed the sweater, his eyes flitting up to see that, yes, it was Grian. His eyes squished with happiness as he grinned, unable to keep himself neutral.

"Anyway, that's it! I'll see you tomorrow! At the aquarium, I think it's pretty close to where you live! Bye!" He pressed to end the voicemail, eyes following Grian as he stopped a bit away from a store, digging through his bag for his phone.

Oh, he really had missed his call. For some reason, a blush spread across his cheeks, and he quickly plopped his phone back into his quiver. His hand patted for the box, making sure it was still secure before he hopped down the building.

He landed with a slight stagger, feeling the landing send a shock up his knees. Shit, he landed wrong. He gritted his teeth, weaving past people quickly, giving a few waves before he was approaching Grian, his grin fixing itself to a more cocky smile.

"My favourite professor!" HotGuy greeted, making Grian look up with a bit of shock. He quickly fumbled his phone away, a blush spreading on his face. "Surprised to see you here, but good I have!"

Grian let out an embarrassed cough, looking to the side before regaining his composure. "I think you showing up almost every time I miss my coworker's call is a curse," he said, crossing his arms. The blush on his face wasn't lessening. He looked cute.

"I think it's just nice coincidence," HotGuy joked before he inhaled, steadying himself. He took the box from his arm, handing it to Grian. The bow glistened in the late afternoon sun, and the red colour of the box made it way more festive than Scar had intended to.

Grian stared at the box, hand going to the ribbon before looking back at HotGuy with a confused look. Scar stuttered, words jumbling together on the tip of his tongue for a moment before he regained his composure, quickly explaining. "It's an apology gift!" He quickly said, hands coming up to do a small shake.

"An apology gift?" Grian questioned, thumb idly brushing over the smooth texture of the box. "If this is about the papers," he said, his voice lowering in a warning as a playful grin stretched across his features, tilting his eyes with a gleam in his eyes. What a menace.

HotGuy laughed, shaking his head. "No, it's for the scarf. It's in there, I haven't had the time to wash it, with some extras as an apology," he shrugged, the nervousness fizzling in his stomach. "It's kind of a multi piece thing, so open it at home?"

Grian nodded absently before looking to the side as Mumbo jogged up, holding a few bags. "Grian! Sorry about the wait, God, that tech guy sure liked his lines," he breathed out, arranging his bags. "Hopefully you didn't have to wait too long! Oh, what's that?" He asked, leaning in to look at the box.

"Hi prof," HotGuy greeted, getting a jump out of Mumbo as he looked at him. "That happens to be my apology gift for your friend here."

Mumbo stumbled over his words, spilling out of him in an embarrassed jumble. His face turned an embarrassing shade of pink and he looked away intensely, giving Grian a look.

Grian just snickered, tucking the box into one of Mumbo's many bags before turning back to HotGuy. "Say, want to grab some ice cream with us?"

Mumbo gave a pained noise as HotGuy looked back at Grian, surprise etching his face. "Uh, I don't know," he said, hesitation overtaking his voice. Could he? Should he? It wouldn't be too safe, and if others saw him spending time with civilians...

Grian gave him a smile, his lips quirked with his eyes squinting slightly from unbridled mischief. A smile CuteGuy gave him when his plan was going accordingly. Any and all doubt slipped through his fingers like water.

"I mean, I don't have a reason as to why I couldn't," he had a thousand reasons, he mused, but as Grian let out an overexaggerated whoop and flung an arm over Mumbo's shoulder, none of them mattered. "But I don't have any money on me. You know, can't exactly carry my wallet around."

"That's fine!" Mumbo quickly supplied, a nervous smile on his lips. "I can pay, don't worry about it!" He laughed awkwardly, his ears going pink. Man, Mumbo really was a wreck around Scar as HotGuy. It was kind of cute.

HotGuy tilted his head with a smile, snorting out a laugh before he nodded. "Alright, alright, you two win, I'll go with you to get some ice cream." Food sounded better, he thought, his stomach clenching with hunger. He hadn't eaten in a bit, since he got up actually.

Grian tugged Mumbo to move, a laugh that lilted high, his arm sliding to slink through Mumbo's as they started to walk, HotGuy following a bit behind them. He felt a bit nervous, his finger twitching to keep his hand on his bow.

It wasn't evening yet. People were still milling about, looking and pointing wherever Scar looked. Anxiety bit at his neck. He wanted to climb a building and disappear, watch his friends from above. So many things could go wrong, all because he's HotGuy.

Scar stumbled slightly as he gently walked into Mumbo, quickly muttering an apology as he backed up. "Here we are!" Grian swept an arm up, putting on a show. The cogs in HotGuy's brain whirred. This was an act.

He blinked up at the ice cream shop, putting a hand on his hip as he leaned his weight back, playing along. "A bit fancy for you, isn't it, professor?" He teased, voice now confident, tenseness in his shoulders bleeding out. Grian was saving him.

"Maybe so," Grian teased back, taking the bags from Mumbo before the taller professor headed inside, mumbling stuff he can order. Scar would be fine with just about anything. His stomach was killing him. "But hey! What else does the great HotGuy deserve?"

HotGuy watched from the corner of his eye as Grian sat down on one of the outside tables. The hackles on Scar's neck raised. There were far too many people for him to relax. Still, he followed suit after a moment, sitting on the opposite seat of Grian.

The bags shifted in the relative quiet as Grian adjusted them, bundling them comfortably under him. He reached down, grabbing the box HotGuy had handed him previously. Scar's eyes bore into the box, desperately wanting the soft material of the scarf between his fingers.

"So," Grian started, placing the box onto the table, drawing HotGuy's attention again. "The multi-piece apology gift. Can I have a clue?" He asked, leaning against his hand, a teasing smirk on his face.

HotGuy raised an eyebrow, leaning forwards, tensing against his forearms. "Mmm, no," he hummed, matching Grian's smirk. Somewhere, a camera clicked in the back of his mind and his nails raked across the wood of the table. He glanced around, and there was no one. "You can try and guess, but I spent a long time doing that pretty bow."

Grian let out a soft laugh, pulling at one end of the bow, trying his best to gently untie it. "Well, now I need to be gentle, Mumbo would murder me if I destroyed your hard work," he joked, thumb gently wiggling under the material, softly working it over the edge. HotGuy watched him, enraptured, his hands working softly.

The box was ribbonless in moments, Grian popping the top off as Mumbo stepped outside, the scene eerily familiar to one he had not so long ago. Except then, his stomach was fuller, he was more stressed. Anxiety swirled in his stomach.

He really should eat something. Now that he's sat down, his head filled with a buzz and he could feel his blood pressure slowly go down. He took a breath, rubbing hand against the surface before he looked up at Mumbo, the words he had said flying past his ears. "Sorry?" He asked, giving Mumbo an apologetic smile.

"I asked what flavour you wanted. They have a lot of flavours," Mumbo chuckled nervously, his eyes glancing at Grian as he thumbed at the material of his scarf, the small package of cookies in his other hand.

"Uhh, anything chocolate, with wafers please," HotGuy requested, the idea of eating as many wafers as humanly possible sounding far too appealing. As Mumbo nodded, disappearing back into the ice cream shop, he leaned back, sighing. "Man, I'm hungry."

Grian looked up, opening the package of cookies, biting into one almost immediately before offering the cookies to HotGuy. He hesitated, hand halfway reaching already. He pursed his lips before taking a cookie, biting into it.

The chocolate melted under his tongue and his stomach growled, wanting something filling. He smiled nervously at Grian, hoping he didn't hear the grumbling of his stomach. By the look that Grian gave him, he did.

"When did you last eat?" He questioned, taking another bite of the cookies. The caramel chocolate ones were Scar's favourite, they were always soft and pliable. "HotGuy, when did you last eat?"

HotGuy looked away, acting as if he was debating the answer, thinking it over. He savoured the flavour of chocolate on his tongue, the mix of caramel on top. When did he actually eat? He had some of the cookies when they were done, but he hadn't had anything solid in a while.

Maybe last night? No, he went to bed without an appetite.

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to find the moment where he had something other than a snack to eat. He was coming up, relatively, blank.

"So?" Grian prompted, cookie crumbs hanging off the corners off his mouth. "When did you last eat? Because you can't have something sugary on an empty stomach."

Mumbo stepped out of the store, two cups in hand. He put one in front of Grian and the other in front of HotGuy before waving and going back for his own.

HotGuy tapped the table, staring at the two scoups of ice cream in his cup. It looked like stracciotella and a brownie type of ice cream. A maraschino cherry glistened on top of the scoops, two wafers stuck parallel to one another. He took another bite of the cookie, a crumb falling down his suit.

He was hungry. He took one of the wafers and ate it in a few bites, the ice cream cold and aching against his teeth. "I don't remember when I last ate," he admitted quietly, picking up the other wafer. "I don't usually have time to eat."

The look Grian was giving him was painful. A scrutinized look with his eyebrows furrowed, his lips pressed into a thin line. HotGuy looked away, eating the rest of his cookie. "It's fine," he said, turning back to give Grian a radiant smile. "I'm not usually hungry."

Mumbo stepped back out with a cup as well, sitting down next to Grian, who turned to Mumbo, pulling him down to murmur something in his ear.

An uneasy feeling settled in HotGuy's gut, so he picked his ice cream up, popping the maraschino cherry into his mouth before trying to eat his scoops, knowing Grian all too well.

"Hey, uh, Grian and I planned to get lunch after this. Would you want to join?" Mumbo asked, making HotGuy sigh, grimacing as he put his cup back down, ice cream half eaten. "I'll pay still, if it's money you're worried about. You don't have to pay me back."

HotGuy glared at his cup, the ice cream slowly melting. His fingers dug into the wood underneath his palm. He was already spending too much time here. He was putting them both at risk. The smile on his face never left.

"Bad day today for this kind of stuff, boys," he said, voice light, playful. His head swirled and a headache slowly creeped behind his eyes. Ah. His blood sugar spiked. He leaned forwards, rubbing his head in slow, measured presses. "I don't want the media to mess with you two."

His voice sounded far away. Was he going to faint? All from a little sugar? No, it was something else. Anxiety clenched his lungs. When did he start having an anxiety attack? His vision blurred and his ears rang.

He could feel blood drain from his face. God, Cub is going to kill him for this.

-----

Scar came to a moment later. His head hurt, and there was scrambling all around him. He groaned, head resting against cold wood. His memories swirled and brushed past him, hands shaking his shoulders while someone was talking at him.

His mouth was dry, and his stomach clawed at him with hunger. Slowly, he lifted himself, visor having pressed uncomfortably against his face. Where was he? Why did he pass out?

His thoughts caught up with him, his brain processing the sensory around him. He shook his head, blinking as he focused. Right. Ice cream shop. God, it was probably a good idea that he hadn't just gotten up and walked off now.

"Are you okay?" Grian asked, standing by his side, hand gripping Scar's shoulder. Scar felt too woozy to slip back into HotGuy, so he just nodded. Grian sighed, leaning forwards to put his head against Scar's shoulder, the smell of his cologne loud and comforting.

His body untensed and he inhaled, leaning his head against Grian's before the professor pulled back, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Mumbo stood to the side, anxiously fidgeting with his hands and sleeves. God, Scar gave them both a spook.

He looked back at the table. His ice cream cup had spilled, as it seems, and the gift box with the scarf was still safe and sound. The others' ice cream was a little melty. This was fine. He took a breath.

"Sorry about this, just haven't had much time to rest," he said, voice slightly strained before he cleared his throat, giving the two a smile. "Promise, this is the first time this has happened."

The fact he had gone so long without it happening honestly surprised him.

Grian sighed, motioning for Mumbo to sit down before pulling his phone out to look at something. He glanced up at Scar. "Do you like Italian?" He asked, eyes stern with concern.

Scar stuttered, mouth opening and closing before nodding, lips pressed closed. "Okay, good. You stay here," Grian pointed at Scar's seat, glare hard. "You're gonna wait until I go and get some food for you. Then you can go on your merry way."

HotGuy opened his mouth to oppose before the offer fully sunk in. Paid for hot food. Company he enjoys. He gritted his teeth before leaning back in his chair. "Would it be okay with the ice cream place?" He questioned after a moment and Mumbo immediately bounded back up to ask.

"That settles that. I'll be back hopefully soon. Is pasta good?" Grian asked, back on his phone, looking at the restaurants in the area, Scar guessed. He nodded, and Grian gave him a wave before jogging off.

Mumbo stepped out a moment later, sitting back down with a sigh. "Owner said it was fine, she said you shouldn't move before eating something solid," he said, picking his cup of ice cream back up. "Man, Grian's is gonna melt," he muttered, looking at the abandoned cup and gift.

HotGuy sighed, reaching over to the gift. He pulled it towards himself, fingertips brushing against the soft material of the scarf. Familiarity and safety settled in his chest before he packed the gift back up, trying to retie the cookie bag as best he could with shaking fingers.

"You bake?" Mumbo asked, voice still a tinge nervous. "I didn't take you for the type." The comment felt light, more inquisitive rather than a jab. Scar hummed, sliding the box back to Grian's side before picking his ice cream cup back up. The chocolate was nice.

"It's a nice stress relief. Gives me an excuse to eat something sweet to keep my blood sugar up too, I guess," he joked lightly, shrugging. "I do also like baking for my friends."

Mumbo hummed, interest piqued. "Really? Your other hero buddies?" He joked, leaning forward slightly. "Must be difficult to track them down constantly."

HotGuy snorted a laugh, shaking his head. "No, not really. The closest I am to friends while on the job is CuteGuy. I'm talking about my civie friends," he smiled at Mumbo, biting the tip of his tongue. He knows this is common sense, he has a civilian life, but the anxiety that curdled in his gut was still unpleasant.

"It's kind of hard to imagine you with civilians outside of your, you know," Mumbo motioned to all of him, smiling awkwardly. "It's hard to imagine without your suit at all, honestly. Especially without your visor!"

HotGuy's hand came up to the edge of his visor, letting the material skim against his fingertips. It felt hard imagining himself without it sometimes. Sometimes he caught himself avoiding his eyes as Scar, skittering just where his visor ended.

"Yeah. It's hard to imagine myself without it," HotGuy said after a beat, shifting the visor to fit more snuggly against his face. "Kind of like a second skin," he joked, leaning back. His head felt far less fuzzy, his body now comforted by the idea of having food soon.

It did sound really good. Hunger gnawed at his inside, a small distraction in his conversation with Mumbo. He tapped his finger against the wood, looking at Mumbo, realizing he had zoned out. He sat up straight. "Shit, sorry, I zoned out, can you repeat that?"

Mumbo let out a laugh, nodding. "I asked how working with CuteGuy is," he leaned back himself, his legs crossing under the table, "and how you're handling him being, well, you know?"

Ah. That question. Scar opened his mouth before closing it, considering his answer. He worried his bottom lip, exhaling slowly. "It's a worry for the government," he started, his mentality drawing together slowly. HotGuy couldn't be charming while discussing this.

"Because we don't know what Nexus is doing with him, it's," he hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I'm not sure I can talk to you about this, professor," he stated instead, choosing to opt out from the possibility of saying the wrong thing. "This is a pretty serious thing you don't need to worry about as a civilian."

It wasn't that serious, really. His supervisors were miffed, but what could he do? Not much, honestly. He was happy about it, if he didn't see CuteGuy, it meant he was being safe as a civilian. He didn't need to worry about him getting caught after every patrol.

It gave him some extra time, honestly.

After that first appearance that apparently no one knew about, Scar realized the extra time he didn't need to try and pretend to be catching CuteGuy, he could spend with his friends, even as HotGuy.

The gentle brush of Grian's hands against his neck when he had fixed the scarf came to mind and he felt a blush spread across his face. He looked down at his ice cream cup, quickly finishing the rest of it.

"Let's not go into hero stuff. I should be getting to know you, professor! You're friends with an acquaintance of mine," HotGuy shifted the conversation smoothly, smiling at Mumbo, who sputtered from embarrassment.

The conversation after was smoother. It was easier to ask about things Scar already knew, getting Mumbo to ramble about his robots and motorbike, asking questions here and there to keep him going.

HotGuy had lost track of time, laughing at a robotics joke Mumbo made when a to-go box was put in front of him with a fork and some napkins. "There you go," Grian said, sitting down next to HotGuy. "Eat."

Scar chuckled lightly, giving Grian a look he surely couldn't see past his visor. "Demandy," he teased, earning a soft swat to his shoulder. He opened the container, hunger aching deep inside him.

He tuned the other two out, their conversation buzzing into background noise as he ate. It was so nice, finally getting something solid and heavy in his stomach. Warmth spread across his body, letting out a content breath.

Grian brushed against him once or twice, his hand gentle as he checked up on HotGuy, touching his wrist or arm. The care seemed out of proportion, but Scar didn't question it, enjoying the gentle touches and glances.

It was a few minutes before the casual conversation was interrupted by a gentle beep from HotGuy's armband. He froze for a second before Cub's voice chimed in his earpiece.

'Hi Scar, really sorry to interrupt your break,' he spoke, and dread filled Scar. Cub sounded strained. Quickly, he picked his container up and started shoveling the rest of his food into his mouth, trying to finish as quickly as he could.

Cub continued talking, quickly filling him in on the situation as Scar stood up, taking a deep breath before waving at the two. "Thank you for the company!" He said, quickly rushing off, vaulting himself up a building to get an advantage.

Cub paused, silence filling the earpiece before Cub spoke. 'Were you hanging with civilians?'

Scar let out an awkward laugh, letting the silence permeate both ends of their calls. Cub let out a sigh, and Scar could see him pinch the bridge of his nose. 'Scar.'

Scar laughed, listening to the annoyed noises from the other end as he set off, reassuring his friend that it was fine.

-----

"What's this?" Scar asked, looking at the slick material. It looked like a bracelet, with small charm notches dotting the outside. Cub just hummed, pushing a non dotted, slightly wider one towards him as well. "Two of them?"

"They're kind of like pulse readers," Cub explained, taking the bracelet from Scar's hand to fit it onto his wrist, making sure it pressed onto his skin like a glove. "When you're a civilian, you wear the bracelet. When you're HotGuy, you wear the choker."

The bracelet was cold against his wrist. Tight enough that it didn't feel any different to his actual skin, but still standing out. "A heart monitor? Really?" He gave Cub a look, finger gently tracing the charm notches.

Cub shrugged, taking the choker and walking behind him, raising Scar's head to gently fit it onto his neck. "Better safe than sorry. Tell me if they're too tight, please."

The metal was cold, but it warmed up just as quickly as the bracelet did. "They're fine," Scar said, fingers tracing the line between flesh and metal. "Is it really necessary?"

Cub let out a sigh, knuckles resting against the nape of Scar's neck. He rubbed the choker gently, quiet as he contemplated the answer he should give. Scar gave him his time, not wanting to rush him.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders and Cub rested his head on top of Scar's, urging him to lean into Cub's chest. Scar indulged him, relaxing in his grip. He would be going home soon, having only dropped by the lab at Cub's request after his patrol. Maybe he should ask Cub to overnight.

"During the spore incident," Cub started, voice quiet. He felt Cub press a gentle kiss against his head, and tensed. He put a hand on Cub's arm, comfortingly rubbing his thumb against his forearm. "You lost signal, and I," Cub hesitated, voice breaking.

"I couldn't hear what was happening. I saw your tracker, but what can it do? Tell me where you are, not how you are," Cub inhaled shakily, tears dropping onto Scar's hair. His arms tightened around Scar, pressing his face into Scar's head, glasses mushing against his face. "I couldn't hear what was happening, you could have died right then and then I wouldn't have known."

Scar shifted in his seat, gently prying away from Cub to turn around, pulling Cub back into him. He held onto his friend tightly, feeling his shakey breaths break into bitten back sobs.

"I was so scared, Scar, I was so scared," Cub whispered into his shoulder, tears staining Scar's uniform. He rubbed Cub's back, gently rocking them from side to side. "I thought I'd lose you any time I couldn't hear you."

Scar gently pushed his head against Cub's, trying his best to comfort his friend. "I'm so sorry, Cub," he mumbled against his lab coat. "I'll wear the jewelry, okay? Don't worry about it."

Cub sniffled, nodding against his shoulder. His hands tightened their hold on Scar, as if afraid that Scar will disappear into smoke.

Scar thought he might himself. The idea that someone was so scared to lose him when that was his job, to be lost and never returned after a certain time. He could feel his breath turn thin, his lungs burning with the tight squeeze they gave.

He'll never take these off.

----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar leaned back in Cub's passenger seat, watching the lights of the city fly past them in the night. He shifted in his seat, pulling into himself as he sipped a soda Cub bought him with his fast food. He really ought to stop letting Cub buy him food.

"Hey Grian," he started after the beep, letting out a content breath. "It's Scar. Hope you're doing well, and that everything's been going smoothly for your weekend," he smiled softly, letting his head thump against the headrest. He spent time with Grian today. It made him feel giddy.

"I'm really excited for tomorrow! Hopefully the aquarium isn't as busy as I heard it's been," he glanced at Cub, who has snorted, only to swat at him lightly. "I'm excited to see you. That's all! Hope you sleep well. Bye!"

He clicked to end the voicemail, only to have Cub burst out in laughter, reaching over to pat Scar's shoulder. "You have a date!" Cub exclaimed, putting his hand back onto the steering wheel as Scar sputtered objections, his face heating up.

Cub just gave him a grin, stopping at a red light before reaching back over, ruffling his hair. "You have a date! With the cute guy from your work, too!" He said, his voice sing-songish in tone. Scar groaned, covering his face.

Guilt washed up on him, a cold chill against the flush of his face. He shouldn't consider this a date. He hurt Grian. He put an arrow, sharp and biting, through Grian's flesh. His shoulder burned. He took a breath, looking at his friend.

"It's not a date, Cub," he stated, voice even and quiet. Cub quietened down, the smile on his face falling. His voice sounded foreign to his own ears, a type of even, stern voice he only ever used with the press.

The light turned green and Cub kept driving, the car now deathly quiet. Scar shifted, pulling into himself more. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, pulling his collar up to hide his face. Shame and guilt nipped at him, hating how easily he slipped into the tone.

The silence stretched for a little longer, Cub pulling into Scar's street. He sighed, parking. He stared ahead, the silence sickening. "Scar," he started, hand gently resting against Scar's shoulder. No other follow up came, as Cub inhaled and exhaled, trying to find words that never came to him.

Cub pulled away, and Scar felt his insides crush inwards. Tears threatened to spill quickly, and he bit his cheek, only to hear Cub unbuckle himself, leaning forwards to pull Scar into a hug. Scar exhaled shakily, his fingers quickly digging into Cub's clothes.

"I could never be mad at you, Scar," Cub mumbled into his shoulder. Scar felt himself choke on his tears, pushing his head into Cub's shoulder. "You had a long day, I get it, I understand, don't worry," he soothed, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Scar took a breath, his head filling with a fuzz as he held back tears. He nodded. "Yeah, I know," he whispered, voice wavering. He was always like this after long shifts. His mind was still reeling, trying to decide what was and wasn't someone he needed to throw a blinding smile at.

How did he end up with someone as kind as Cub?

------

Cub was sleeping over. Scar was pretty sure Cub had dozed off a while ago, laying on opposite end from Scar, Jellie curled up on his chest as the TV played Ghibli movies.

Scar wasn't particularly tired. He was curled up under a blanket, eyes heavy and stinging. His mind still whirled, his mind discomforted by the fact that Grian's scarf wasn't something he could hold.

Instead, he had Cub's sweater bundled up against him, offered to him when Cub noticed how much he was fiddling with his sleeves. It didn't give the same comfort. Cub's work cologne was heavy on it, invading his mind with the sound of metal against metal, sparks flying as Cub welded something shut on his legs.

He shifted, tucking his head against the fabric. He sighed, missing the softness, the way the scarf could wrap around him without issue, a gentle press in the chaos of his mind.

God, Scar felt pathetic. He clenched his jaw, squeezing his eyes shut as he forced slow breaths through his lungs. He hated trying to sleep. His mind always created something for him to think about, and as much as he'd like to sink into the safety of his phone, he didn't want to wake up Cub.

It felt like an uphill battle, every time he wanted to sleep. Especially on days he was HotGuy for so long. He didn't enjoy acknowledging it, yet here he was. Thinking about it.

He sighed, rolling his shoulders, letting tenseness seep out of his body slowly, like a tap turned on just enough. He let his eyes drift shut, trying his best to put his mind to rest. Tomorrow should be better, he hoped.

-------

Scar woke up with a crick in his neck, his muscles complaining loudly at him as he stretched across the couch cushions, letting out a tired groan.

"Morning," Cub greeted, sitting in one of the armchairs, nursing what looked like a cup of coffee. "Did you sleep well?"

Scar grumbled a response, sitting up to properly stretch himself, feeling the satisfying burn of his muscles. He passed a hand through his hair, trying to gain footing in the still tired crevices of his mind. "What time is it?" He mumbled the question out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"About 9:30, I think. You're still in time for that meet-up, yeah?" Cub asked, taking a sip from his coffee before standing up, shooing Jellie from his lap to walk over to Scar, offering him his coffee.

Scar hummed an agreeing noise, nodding as he carefully took the mug, raising the warm liquid to his mouth, savouring the warmth and slight bitterniss. He preferred his coffee differently, but he was used to the bitter coffee Cub enjoyed, having nabbed enough sips off him to fill multiple cups.

"Yeah, I think the time we agreed on was something like 11:30?" Scar shrugged, handing the mug back before he leaned back, exhaustion still pulling at parts of his mind. He was tired.

"Want me to make you coffee as well? And food," Cub quickly tacked on as he sipped his coffee, sitting next to Scar, who leaned against him with a huff, melting into his friend. "Or I can stay here."

Scar nuzzled into Cub's shoulder, Jellie jumping onto the couch with them, crawling onto Cub's lap. He laughed softly, petting the cat who made herself oh so comfortable. "Both of you are clingy," Cub chastised lovingly, leaning his head against Scar's, reveling in his presence.

"We love you too much not to be," Scar joked, gently poking Cub in the side. "You can't get rid of us, Cub, we're glued to ya," he gave a laugh at the dramatic huff Cub gave, a kiss being pressed to his head.

"Well, clingy or not," Cub started, gently ushering Jellie off him, who gave a disgruntled look before getting off him, stretching and curling back up. "I need to make you breakfast so you actually eat. I know you don't eat well."

Scar laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he moved away, giving Cub the space to get up. "Guilty as charged," he shrugged, taking the mug that Cub handed off to him, stealing another sip. "You really need to get into liking milk with your coffee."

He handed the mug back, Cub having stretched to get himself going as well. Cub took a swig of his coffee, drinking about half of it before handing the rest back to Scar, humming. "I think you just need to get you big boy pants on and enjoy black coffee."

Scar let out an offended gasp, drinking the rest of Cub's coffee, placing the mug onto his coffee table. "I say!" He exclaimed, reaching for his cane that had fallen onto the floor some time during the night. "I've drank enough black coffee from you!"

Cub just laughed, walking off to Scar's kitchen as Scar stood up as well, feeling the ache of not quite formed bruises on his legs. He hissed low, soothing a hand over his thighs before following Cub, going back into the banter that started their morning off right.

------

Grian was running late. He had already texted Scar to let him know, the text filled with apologies at the delay. Scar was waiting outside the entrance, scrolling through his private pictures with Cub.

He had been waiting a while, and worry gnawed at him softly. He knew Grian overslept, but he couldn't help but worry a little. The weather was nice, the sky relatively clear with a few clouds here and there. Maybe they could get something to eat after they finish with the aquarium.

The gentle drum of a pair of feet made him look up, Grian coming to a stop a few steps away from him, panting from having, presumably, ran the whole way. He was lightly dressed, his outfit complimenting the light day, outside of the fact that a scarf was snuggly wrapped around his neck.

The same scarf that Scar gave back to him yesterday.

"Hi Scar," Grian huffed, bending over a little to catch his breath. "I'm so sorry about the wait, I so, so hope you didn't have to wait long," he said, taking a deep breath as he straightened back out, smoothing his clothes down.

Scar sputtered for a second, eyes strained on the scarf before he looked away, his face flush. "It's fine! It's a nice day out, don't worry about it," he waved his hand, trying to calm himself down. Why was he so flustered about Grian wearing a scarf that belonged to him?

"That's good," Grian breathed out, giving Scar a grin before looking at the aquarium entrance. "You ready to head in? Or do you wanna grab something before we do? I saw an ice cream stand on my way here."

Scar hummed, glancing between the entrance and Grian before smiling. "Nah, let's grab one after we're done, yeah?" He said, quickly putting his phone away so he can give Grian his full attention.

Grian gave him a smile soft enough to melt him before heading towards the entrance, Scar following closely.

-------

The aquarium was pretty packed. It was difficult to navigate with Scar's wheelchair, having to constantly stop and go, trying to avoid hitting anyone. He was cursing himself out for not going with his cane or crutches, but he had wanted to be comfortable.

Grian seemed plenty annoyed for him, anyway. "This was the worst day to come," he mumbled, his tone angry and annoyed as they sat on a bench, Grian glaring at some younger kids who were pushing and shoving to get to a jellyfish exhibit. Scar just laughed softly, patting his shoulder.

"It's okay," he soothed, gently rubbing Grian's shoulder, resting his hand there, enjoying the warmth. "We can wait here for a little until they move on, okay? I don't mind, it's nice spending time with you. Plus, we still have several hours left to go!"

Grian huffed, letting his shoulders relax as he leaned into Scar's embrace, face still scrunched up with annoyance. "We've barely made it past the entrance," he complained, though the miff was gone from his tone.

"It's how it is sometimes with crowds," Scar mused, watching as a few kids ran off, the others quickly following, the parents slowly streaming after them. "See? Told you," he teased, letting Grian sit up straight as he pushed himself over to the exhibit.

The glass was nearly ceiling high, the exhibit itself being filled with Scar's favourite jellyfish, the lion's mane jellyfish. They floated serenely in the water, the light illuminating them so their colours shone brightly.

Grian joined him, standing next to him as he fixed his scarf, trying to tuck it into itself quickly. Scar glanced up at him, small smile on his face. "Did you know that jellyfish aren't considered fish? They don't have a backbone, so they're invertebrates," the fact tumbled out of him before he could think, looking back at the tank with giddy excitement.

He put a hand against the cold glass, knowing he could simply stare at the jellyfish for hours on end. "I love jellyfish. The lion's mane jellyfish, which these are, are the jellyfish that can grow to be the longest jellyfish alive. My second favourite are moon jellyfish. They're the see through saucer looking ones," Scar rambled, the words simply spilling out of him without any filter.

When he glanced back up at Grian, he was looking at Scar with a soft look, smile infectious and his cheeks heated up, quickly looking away again, taking his hand off the tank. "Uhm, sorry, wanna move on?" He offered, chuckling nervously.

"Yeah, sure," Grian hummed, stepping aside to give Scar the space to move. "I didn't know you like jellyfish so much," he said, keeping pace with Scar as he moved, eyes focused on the crowds and the surrounding fishes.

"They're my favourite animal, along with seals," he said, eyes glancing over all the fish in the smaller exhibits. They were the usual bunch you'd see everywhere. Clownfish, blue tangs, some eels, crabs, sea slugs and sea snails, so on and so forth. "I think jellyfish are the coolest."

Grian huffed a laugh, his eyes kept on Scar as they did mini stops, with Scar wanting to look at certain fish for a little before moving on. "They are the coolest. I think my favourite are blue canonball jellyfish. A local aquarium where I grew up had tons of them, I always loved watching them."

"Ooh, blue canonballs!! I love them so much too, they're so cute," Scar grinned up at Grian, unable to keep the giddy laugh that bubbled up from his chest at bay. "Jellyfish are just so cool," he looked back at the displays, trusting that Grian would stop him if he was going to accidentally ram into someone, but keeping relatively to the side seemed to be working.

"You know my favourite animal already, which I'm kinda surprised by!" Grian admitted, putting a hand on Scar's shoulder to pause him as a kid ran up to a connected blue tang enclosure, standing on their tiptoes to look into the glass. "I didn't think anyone would know that nurse sharks are my favourite."

"Well, I have my ways," Scar teased, moving to avoid the kiddo, shifting over to the otherwise. The aquarium had a lot of mirroring exhibits as it seemed, with one side being mostly social fish while the other had reclusive ones, which hid away in the crevices of rocks and sea grass.

"Do you have a favourite shark?" Grian asked, stopping to lean into an enclosure, trying to find a banana eel. "I heard from Cleo that you do, but I'm not sure what it is."

Scar hummed in thought, giving Grian time to look for the eel as his eyes strayed over the crowds, people watching for a second before resoonding. "I like lemon sharks. They're sweet, I always hear how nice they can be with scuba divers."

Grian moved on, Scar following him without complaint. He can always come back here at a later date to look at everything. "They are sweet! I like them, too, I just think nurse sharks are prettier."

"Ah, so you have a subjective bias, I see," Scar joked, earning a laugh from Grian as they moved on from the more crowded section, more people arriving. "I think they're just sweet. There's so many cool sharks, I can't exactly pick between them."

"And yet you have a favourite jellyfish?" Grian asked, fixing his scarf again as he looked around, standing still for a moment, Scar at his side. "Wanna head over to the prehistoric section?" He looked at Scar, crossing his arms with a smile on his face.

Scar hummed, glancing around at the other sections. The aquarium was massive, with different regions of the continent represented. Though, the prehistoric area seemed to be the less crowded one. "Yeah, sure! Best comes first," he joked, following Grian as he headed towards the area, a laugh dancing around him.

The prehistoric area was likely the least busy area, with adults and teenagers looking at the information boards and the displays of recreated bone structures of old marine life, with their modern counterparts in safe areas. It was an area where Scar could take his time, look at and read everything without worrying that he was taking up others time.

Grian had gone ahead of him, wanting to look at the octopuses that were a bit further down the prehistoric section, while Scar stuck around to read everything he could. There was a section on sharks he was looking at when Grian walked back to him, patting his shoulder.

"Scar, there's one of those really cool big tanks that have a little divet, do you wanna sit there a while?" Grian asked, reaching up to fix his scarf again, the ends having fallen out. "We can take a little break there."

Scar hummed, nodding as he turned away from the information tablet. "Sure, that sounds nice. I need to take some pictures for my friend anyway, I promised him I would take some photos of the fishes. I haven't taken any yet," he chuckled in his sentence, patting his pocket to take it out to take a picture of the skeletal reconstruction above them. "He may behead me."

Grian laughed, taking his own phone out to follow suit with a picture. "Actually not a bad idea. Mumbo would love to see some of these," he said, before turning his camera towards Scar, looking at him with a gentle 'please?' expression that Scar couldn't help but smile and nod at, relishing in the delighted and mischievous laugh that it earned him as Grian took a picture of him.

"Does this mean I get to take a picture of you, too?" Scar teased as Grian turned around, leading him towards the big show tank, Scar following loyally. "I'm sure my friend would love to see one of my lovely coworkers."

Grian just giggled, nodding as he glanced back at Scar, a slight flush on his face. "Sure, I wouldn't mind that," he said between another delighted giggle, stopping to help Scar down a bit of a steep slope towards the big tank. At least it wasn't cut off by stairs.

The lights were dim in the area. The only available, bright lights streamed in through the tank, a full floor to ceiling thing that radiated a pleasant cold if you got too close. Grian sat down on one of the benches near the edge, Scar parking his chair near him.

They were quiet for a little, simply watching the fish and sharks swim past, the enclosure itself being filled with enrichment for the animals. Scar loved little spots like these, loved simply watching marine animals be, somewhere safe where they could be safely observed. Maybe he liked marine animals too much.

Grian let out a frustrated noise after a few minutes, taking his scarf off with a huff through his nose, trying to tie it back the way he did to Scar when he was HotGuy. "What is it?" Scar asked, angling his body to turn towards Grian, furrowing his eyebrows with concern.

"It's my scarf," Grian mumbled, trying to tuck the ends in properly, only for them to fall out. "I need a mirror, I can't get them to tuck in properly," he complained, clenching his hands into fists as he stared at the ends that hung loosely past his fists with annoyance and anger. His emotions seemed so spikey suddenly, and Scar's mind flashed to something he read oh so long ago, about how trauma can make emotional responses more intense.

Scar ignored the guilt that squeezed his chest with a breath, putting a hand gently on Grian's shoulder. "Here, let me?" He offered softly, voice quiet and comforting. Grian relaxed almost instantly, turning to Scar as he tugged the material off.

He was gentle, turning Grian's head so he could tie the material around his neck, hands brushing softly against his skin. It felt flushed, as if Grian suddenly developed a fever. Maybe the cold wasn't settling with him well. Still, Scar tucked the ends in just like Grian had with him, making sure it looked alright before pulling away, giving Grian a smile.

"There you go! Should be all secure, hopefully. If not, I can try and fix it," Scar said, watching as Grian gently touched the now tucked in scarf, gentle confusion written across his features.

"Where, uhm," Grian faltered, as if trying to process what Scar had done. Nervousness settled in Scar's stomach. Did he do something wrong? "Where did you learn to do this?" Grian asked instead, looking at Scar with a vulnerability he was severely unused to seeing from his friend.

The nervousness broke into a realization and then mild horror, the fact that he has done something HotGuy experienced and would have done. Suddenly, he was cursing himself mentally, laughing awkwardly as he swallowed a lump in his throat down mentally.

"Oh, uh," he sputtered, trying to find the words, his hands coming up to mime his emotions. "I saw you do it a few times! I hope it's right, I was going off what I remember!" He offered the explanation, knowing it was falling between his fingers like sand.

Grian just hummed, turning back to the big tank with a far away look, his face flushed. Maybe the cold really was getting to Grian. Scar hoped he would be fine once they moved back to a warmer area.

As the silence returned, Scar nervously played with his phone, popping the phone case on and off, the nervousness settling under his skin. If only he could be HotGuy here. It would have been natural for him to do that. He glanced at Grian, who was looking at the tank with a small smile, rubbing the scarf between his fingers.

A warmth settled in his chest instead, the nervousness evaporating, being replaced with gentle adoration. This was fine. Scar was more than fine for this, he reckoned.

------

It got quieter and slower as the day went on. All the families were filing out after mid-day, which is when Scar and Grian went into the restaurant attached to the aquarium to get something to eat.

"Do you think it'd be ironic to have an aquarium to serve fish," Scar mused as he looked over the menu, all a variation of fried food, salads or something fruit related. "Or for a zoo to offer animal shaped ice cream, biscuits and otherwise animal themed food?"

Grian hummed with a chuckle, looking over his own menu. "I think an aquarium serving fish would traumatize the little ones," he joked, putting his menu aside. "What are you getting?" He asked, leaning onto his hand, smiling softly at Scar. Butterflies flitted around in Scar's stomach, promptly looking back at his menu.

"Uhm, I dunno. I think I might get a Caesar salad, I always like those," he shrugged, words a bit of a hurried jumble as a waiter approached their table, smile bright with a twinkle in their eye.

"Buenos tardes, todos, ¿comó estáis?" They asked, mischief twinkling in their eyes, their tone playful as they gave both a glance. "What can I get you two this fine afternoon?"

Scar hummed with delight, glancing at Grian before looking at their waiter, his mouth stretching into a grin. "Buenos tardes, estamos bien, pero el pescado crudo no es de nuestro gusto," he said, voice light with dramatics as their waiter turned to him with a snort, noting something down.

"Noted, no raw fish," they read aloud, punctuating each word before turning to Grian, raising an eyebrow. "And for you, sir?"

Grian leaned back, taking the bit in before smiling, a quirked thing filled with mischief that looked, as usual, like CuteGuy's before he spoke. "Actually, that blue tang in one of the tanks by the entrance," he trailed off, unable to help the laugh that bubbled out of him, giddy and happy.

Scar smiled, enjoying the sound, acting as if nothing had gone wrong, that Grian was still the same person he was before the fungus. He knew it was make believe, but sometimes it's what a person needed.

"Alright, I'll tell chef," the waiter joked before giggling, flipping to a new page. "Now, tell me your orders, boys, I have other tables."

It was easy to rattle off what they both wanted. Scar went with the Caesar salad, as he had said before, while Grian went with a burger and fries, with some soft drinks to match. Their conversation after that flowed easily, talking about nothing in particular, but still having enjoyment from each other's words.

These are moments Scar wished he could bottle. Soft laughs and smiles, something he hadn't realized he missed from Grian as much as he had. It was easy to get lost in it, simply savoring everything. Even if Tango and Jimmy couldn't be here, it was good enough that it was just him and Grian. Better, even, now that he thinks about it.

As much as he loved Tango and Jimmy, there was something special about getting to hang out with Grian alone. He was sure it was just because he had been missing his friend, but it felt deeper, like some part of his heart tugged at him with a fishing line.

He can ignore it, though. He's good at ignoring things.

-------

The gift shop was their final stop. Scar felt tired, having spent a good portion of his day learning and trying his best to have a happy front for Grian. After a certain point, the crowds got too much, and Scar was well aware what his HotGuy smile feels like. Plastic and rigid.

Hopefully Grian didn't notice.

Even if Scar was glad to be getting out of the crowds, he didn't really want the day to end. It was just getting to be evening, the sun slowly crawling across the sky in it's track to set.

He was looking at some plushies, his hands threaded through the soft material of a plush octopus before he picked a small shark up, looking at the tag. Lemon shark. Huh, he should get it for Cub. He likes lemon sharks as well.

He placed it in his lap, picking up a lanky jellyfish instead. It wasn't a lion's mane, but the body was weighted, with glittery skin and soft tentacles. It wouldn't be too bad to get for himself. He hummed in thought, looking over at Grian, who was examining a ceramic turtle.

Scar turned back to the plushies, picking up another shark. He checked the tag, feeling delight as he realized that it was a nurse shark this time. Bingo.

He moved on from the plushies, trying to be inconspicuous as he moved to the keychains, picking off a jellyfish for himself and another nurse shark. He had the money, he mused, so why not spoil one of his friends a little?

Scar tapped around a few before he nabbed a clownfish keychain off for Cub. They were his favourite, but Scar wasn't too sure why. Still, he didn't question one of his best friends, heading over to the till to pay.

Grian joined him a moment later, holding the ceramic turtle and a wind chime that was generally sea themed. "Got some nice gifts?" Scar asked as he paid, taking the bag that was handed to him before moving aside for Grian.

"Some, yeah. Timmy really likes turtles, so he should like these, and Maui and Pearl love anything shiny. The wind chime may get broken sooner or later, but at least my cats will get something out of it," Grian shrugged, smiling at the worker as he paid as well, taking the bag his items were placed in. "You?"

Scar just hummed, giving Grian a grin as they headed outside. The air was significantly cooler now, with pink slowly stretching across the sky. They stopped a bit away, wanting to be out of the way for the others leaving. Grian gave him a suspicious look as he waited for Scar to dig through his bag, a smile fighting to pull itself onto his face.

"Here they are!" Scar exclaimed, pulling the plush nurse shark, followed closely by the keychain. He handed them to Grian with a self satisfied look. "Your nurse sharks, as promised."

Grian opened his mouth, only to sputter, a giddy smile burning its way onto his face. "Scar," he said with a hint of flusteredness, taking the gifts. "You didn't have to."

Scar gave an offended gasp, placing his hand on his chest. "Oh, but I did!" He said, faux shock on his features. "Afterall, I promised one of my best friends some nurse sharks! And nurse sharks they had, so, no refunds, sorry," he pulled the sorry out as he headed towards his car, only to be chased by Grian with a laugh.

"Want me to drop you off at home, G?" Scar questioned as he helped Scar stand up, grabbing his cane from his trunk. "I wouldn't mind the detour."

Grian hummed, heaving the chair into the trunk with Scar, clicking his tongue as he considered. "Nah, I'll be just fine. Thank you, though!" He gave Scar a smile as Scar nodded, heading to the driver's side.

"Noted! See you tomorrow, then?" He offered instead, waiting to see Grian nod hurriedly, smile still unending on his face. Scar scrunched his nose up slightly as he smiled, getting into the driver's side, popping his cane into the backseat and the bag of gifts onto the passenger side.

He won't hear the end of this from Cub. Somehow, he didn't mind.

-----

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

"Hey Grian," Scar said, for what felt like the hundredth time. Grian's name rested easily on his tongue by now. It felt natural. "Sorry to call this late again."

It was around midnight, as he always seems to call Grian oh so late so he doesn't pick up. Cub was sleeping over again, likely fast asleep in his room. Jellie was curled up with him, Scar was rather sure about that.

He was in his room, laying idly in bed as he winded down from his day fully. Sleep drifted over him like a gentle blanket, yet something in him wanted to call Grian still. He was sure his voice was full of sleep.

"Just wanted to check in, and stuff. I hope you sleep well. I was wondering if you'd wanna meet up for lunch tomorrow?" He threw the offer out there, the words an easy comfort now. He wanted to spend time with Grian. If anything, he can invite Tango and Jimmy along, to make up for the aquarium.

He nestled into his bed, his blanket rustling against him. "We can invite Mumbo, Tango and Jimmy along, if you want," he said, voice starting to get laced with sleep, tiredness pulling at his bones. Heavy and pliant.

"I think it'd be fun," his words turned to a mumble, his phone now laid down next to him. Somewhere, in his mind, he knew this was a bad idea. "I like spending time with you," the words slipped out like loose pieces of lego, tumbling into the air with vulnerability and openness.

He was so tired.

"I want to spend more time with you," he was pretty sure he made no sense now. Sleep tugged at him, and he had half the mind to haphazardly raise his hand, only for it to fall onto the softness of his bed.

His last thought was about how Grian's name died on the tip of his tongue as he fell asleep.

----

Scar woke up to Cub gently shaking his shoulders. His mind tumbled as he made sense of his surroundings, feeling bleary eyed and tired. He squinted, blinking blurriness from his eyes as he rolled over, looking up at Cub with a disgruntled feeling.

Cub just laughed, patting his shoulder. "Good morning, sleepyhead," he greeted, reaching over to pick up Scar's phone. "Pretty sure you didn't charge this bad boy," Cub teased as he reached for his charger, plopping it onto his nightstand.

The words filtered through his brain, only registering after he gave a half hearted groan before he sat up, wide awake. "Oh, shit, I didn't end my voicemail to Grian. Oh God, I probably sent him an hours long voicemail of me sleeping!" He exclaimed, dread seeping into his limbs like a disease, cold spreading over his fingers.

Cub patted his back, quickly bringing him out of an intense panic. "Take a breath, Scar. Voicemails can only be an hour long," he reminded him, sitting down on the bed next to him. "Besides, I'm sure he'll understand."

Scar sighed, leaning back against Cub, frowning. "I probably said dumb shit in my sleep," he muttered petulantly, crossing his arms as Cub laughed at his misery, pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

"Come on, Scar, we gotta get to work," Cub prompted him, gently nudging him to get up. Scar just groaned out a complaint, shifting to swing his legs over the bed.

"Drive me to work?" He asked, quiet and nervous. Cub stayed silent for a second before taking his hand, rubbing his thumb against the back of Scar's palm. Scar exhaled shakily, not realizing how nervous he was about asking Cub to stay with him.

"Bad today?" Cub asked softly, humming when Scar nodded, not looking in his eye. It was a system by now, knowing when Scar was asking for company, not quite trusting himself.

On those days, Scar always woke up with a feeling in his throat. An itching closeness. Even if he had been doing well, it came and went, an irrational fear of being alone and helpless. Sometimes, and Scar won't ever let Cub hear about this, he wore his legs around the house on days like these.

Just to know he was alright.

"Come on, bud, let's get you to work," Cub stood up, leaning down to grab Scar's cane, accepting the circumstances without a second glance. "I'll pick you up when you get off and then we can get some dinner at your favourite place, yeah?"

Scar smiled at him, taking his cane. He wasn't quite sure what he'd do without Cub, and honestly? He didn't want to find out.

-------

"So, do you have anything planned?" Cub asked, tilting his head towards Scar with a smile. "Anything I need to wait around for after you're done with your classes?"

Scar huffed, flicking Cub's shoulder. "Oh, hush, you dummy," he mumbled, a laugh sneaking out of him before he could stop it. "No, not really. I may be going for lunch with Grian, Tango, Jimmy and Mumbo, but that's about it," he said, shrugging as he took his phone out, checking to see if Grian had replied.

He hadn't. And his phone was still deathly low. Scar will need to plug it in for most of his early lessons so it doesn't die on him.

Cub hummed, flicking his signal lights on as he turned left, avoiding some traffic. "Want me to take you out somewhere before we go to that restaurant? I heard there's a pop-up artist alley a few minutes from your school," he glanced at Scar, mischief in his eyes, and immediately Scar knew he was about to be teased.

"Cub, don't you dare," he warned, only to be gently swatted at by his friend, who was giggling with unabashed humour.

"Maybe we can find you more CuteGuy merch, I know you've been missing him," the tease was soft, gentle, yet still something that made Scar flush with embarrassment, laughing as he covered his face. "I'll buy whatever you want! My treat," Cub tacked on, hand against his chest as he pulled into the univesity's parking lot, putting the breaks on. "Deal?"

Scar sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes with so much gusto that his head rolled with him. "If I must," he said, voice slightly strained with added dramatics as Cub laughed, getting out to get Scar's chair.

Scar smiled, letting out a content breath. He felt better, he noted quietly. The irritating prick of fear was gone from under his skin, having been replaced with something warm and comfortable.

Hopefully patrol today will be easy. He wants to be able to visit Grian today, if he'd want that. Hopefully.

------

His classes were going fine. At least, he made himself think. His jaw was clenching far too much for a normal teacher, teeth aching as he stared at his phone at the start of lunch break. Still no answer from Grian.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair in the teacher's lounge as he turned his glare at the opposite wall, willing it to crumble beneath his gaze. He could talk to his other friends, sure, but they had their own plans, as they always do.

Someone sat in the spot next to his, breaking him out of his stupor. "Hey Scar," Tango greeted, smile bright on his face. Scar smiled back, unable to help himself. "You doing okay?"

Scar pressed his lips into a thin line before nodding, fiddling with his hands. "Yeah, I'm okay. Have you seen Grian today?" He asked, looking away again, eyes finding their way back to the spot on the wall. His gaze hardened and he felt himself glaring, letting himself feel the pent up anger and annoyance that comes and goes.

"Ahm, yeah, I think so, why?" Tango asked, leaning over to look at Scar's face. "Did you make plans? He said he was free to go to lunch with Jimmy and I, so I'm really sorry if you did." The apology was a subtle balm, the anger sizzling out with a hiss in his chest.

Scar exhaled slowly, feeling his lungs deflate, focusing on the rhythm that his body always has on in the background. He drummed his fingers against the back of his palm, easing himself into a settled ease. "No, but I wanted to. Mind if I tag along to lunch? I don't have any other plans."

Tango hummed, pulling his phone out to text someone. Scar watched him quietly, noting the way his smile brightened and his eyes scrunched up. He was likely texting Jimmy. How sweet.

It took a second before Tango looked up and nodded, glancing back at the text. "Looks like it, yeah! Grian doesn't have his phone with him right now, Jimmy says he forgot it at Mumbo's place," Tango babbled, scrolling back up his chat with Jimmy, likely trying to gather his thoughts.

Scar listened with a half interested look, his mind swirling. Grian overnighted at Mumbo's. That was 30 minutes away from the aquarium. Scar had dropped stuff off at Mumbo's before, so the way was ingrained in his mind. Did Grian need a ride? Had he wanted to avoid questions?

Did he not trust Scar?

Scar felt tired all of a sudden. His limbs uncomfortable, his concentration poor. He rubbed his forehead, pressing against his skin with a sigh. "Sorry, Tango, do you have an ibuprofen?" He cut his friend off, trying to ignore the forming headache. He really needed to stop overthinking as much as he does.

"Oh! Yeah, I do," Tango patted himself down, clearly not minding the interruption. Still, he kept talking. "Jimmy says Mumbo's coming along, if that's alright with you! He doesn't want to leave Grian alone, it's the worst," he joked, finally fishing a packet of half popped ibuprofens. He popped one out of the packaging, handing it to Scar.

"I'd say it's sweet," Scar commented, grabbing his water bottle from his bag to take a gulp of water to swallow the pain killer with. When are they heading off?

Tango hummed, checking a text that buzzed his phone. "Oh! Jimmy's picking us up, he's sent Mumbo and Grian to wait out front so we can go together," he said, answering the unspoken question that skipped through Scar's mind.

Scar nodded, wiping his mouth as the water and painkiller disappeared down his throat, cringing at the feeling. "Sounds good. Where are we going?"

Tango shrugged, standing up to grab his own bag. "Dunno! Mumbo said he knew a nice spot, and since we all have a free period after the break, we can chill there a while!" The enthusiasm was infectious, but Scar paused. A free period? All of them?

Scar didn't have one. He had classes back to back after lunch. Confusion piled onto hurt as he looked at Tango, furrowing his eyebrows. "What do you mean? I don't have a free period after lunch," he said, only to receive a confused look from Tango before it morphed into an uncomfortable scowl.

"Ooh, yeah, sorry buddy, we made plans without you in mind. We didn't think anyone would join us," Tango explained, rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous smile. "I'm really sorry, Scar."

Scar just stared. He knew he shouldn't feel hurt, but the thrum of pain didn't stop from spreading. He looked away. His hand twitched, wanting to call Cub. Instead, he took a breath, shaking his head. "It's fine," he said, voice even. His mind fuzzed and his body didn't feel his. "Go have lunch, I'll grab something later."

His voice was disconnected from his body. Scar felt his mouth move, felt his tongue shift to make the letters needed for his sentence, but it didn't register in his mind. He had stepped away from his body, shrunk in his mind. His breathing was slow and even. His head swam.

He blinked, the words Tango spoke not processing as he grabbed his phone, swaying in place just slightly as he brought up his chat with Cub. He stared at it, the words blurring and swimming, disordered as he tried to read. His heart thudded in his chest.

He heard footsteps walk away, and hazily, he was aware that Tango left. He was alone in the teacher's lounge now. He looked down at his phone again, not realizing he had looked away. Time was slipping through his fingers. He pressed call on Cub's contacts.

He raised his phone to his ear, his vision shrinking and growing. What was going on?

'Hello?' Cub answered and every word that Scar was ready to spill died on his lips. Instead, he stared at the opposing wall, breath choked. 'Scar?' Cub called, worry lacing his voice. 'Is everything okay?'

Scar took a breath, his lungs squeezing, focusing his energy in making words. "Pick me up," he forced out, his voice unstrained to his ears. Cold. Plastic. "I don't feel well, Cub, everything," he trailed off, staring at nothing again, his focus dissipating. He inhaled harshly, furrowing his eyebrows as he made himself focus again. "Everything feels wrong."

'What happened?' Cub hurried his answer, voice now raised slightly, panicked. 'Your pulse is okay, Scar, what happened?'

Scar just leaned back, losing his focus fully as he pulled his phone away, pressing end call. He let his hands fall into his lap, letting time slip through his fingers like grains of sand.

It felt like seconds until Cub was right there, in his peripheral. Scar blinked, realizing that his ears were ringing. There was motion around him, but he hadn't been aware of any of it. Someone touched his shoulder and he flinched, leaning away, into Cub.

His hands came up to grab Cub's arms and he gasped, his mind slamming back into his consciousness. His limbs prickled after falling asleep. His phone clattered to the ground, but he couldn't even care. He held onto Cub and panted, trying to orient himself.

"Hey, hey, Scar, buddy, breathe," Cub soothed, his arms wrapping around Scar, gently rubbing his lower back as Scar tucked himself into him, tears flowing without Scar's permission. "I got you, I got you."

"Is he okay?" Someone asked behind Scar, and it took a moment to place the voice. His brain whirred before he glanced back, catching sight of Ren, who was very nervously scratching the back of his neck. "Hi Scar," he waved, smiling anxiously. "Some of your students came by my office, and uh, let me know you didn't show up."

Scar blinked, tucking his head back into Cub's shoulder. "What time is it?" He mumbled, blindly patting his pockets before remembering that, oh, yeah. His phone fell. "It was just a bit into lunch, wasn't it?"

"No, Scar, it's about an half an hour into the next lesson," Ren chimed in, sitting down where Scar could swear Tango sat just moments ago. His head swirled with confusion. "I, uh, does he need to go home?"

The question was aimed at Cub, who was still rubbing Scar's back, his face scrunched up in worry. He was silent for a moment before he nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of Scar's head. The other melted at the affection, not having realized how tense he was. "Yeah, it's best I take him home. Are his students still around?"

Ren hummed, pulling his phone out to text someone. "Clara says they're still waiting around, but says she can tell everyone and his next class that it's off for today, if you'd like." At a hum from Cub, Ren pressed call on the contact, turning away to talk semi privately.

Cub sighed, gently moving Scar away from him. His hands was still clutching Cub's arms, his lab coat crumpled under his grip. "What happened, Scar?" He asked quietly, cupping Scar's cheek to wipe away stray tears. "Talk to me?"

Scar took a shakey breath, slowly letting Cub go. He leaned down, his head brushing against Cub's chest to grab his phone. He wanted to check the time. "It, uhm," he started, mouth dry, the words clumping in his throat. He laughed instead, deciding to push it off. "It's stupid."

Cub leveled him with a look Scar knew oh so well. His friend sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Scar, bud," he started, grabbing a chair so he can sit down infront of Scar. When had he moved his chair? He wasn't facing away from the wall. Why did he only notice now?

"What happened?" Cub pressed, eyebrows furrowed in concern. He glanced over Scar's shoulder, eyes landing on Ren as he sat down with them, putting his phone away with a nod to Cub. Guess his other classes are off.

"Yeah, Scar, what happened? I've never seen you," Ren faltered, glancing at Cub and then looking back at him. "I've never seen you that out of it, buddy, what's up? I know you have that whole PTSD thing, but that was pretty intense."

Scar gritted his teeth, cursing his loose tongue. He had mentioned his PTSD to Ren once, when he was kinda tipsy at a work Christmas party. He glanced between his two friends. Well, fuck. He isn't getting out of this without an explanation. He knows he can just say he doesn't want to talk about it, but he does. It presses against him like extra weight, weighing his shoulders down.

He drummed his fingers against his leg, staring at the vex clip on on Cub's tie. "Uhm," he said, trying to find the words that wrangled around in his head, bouncing off one another as he fought to get the right ones.

Cub held his hand out, a silent offering that Scar took. He took Cub's hand, rubbing his fingers over the calloused parts of his hands and fingers. "So, uh," Scar took a breath, feeling more sure. "I wanted to make plans with Grian, and uhm," he trailed off, anxiously rubbing the center of Cub's palm.

"Take your time, it's okay," Ren soothed, giving Scar a reassuring smile. His hand twitched a bit, half reaching out to give Scar, what he assumed to be, a pat before pulling back, unsure where he lays.

Scar took a moment, simply playing with Cub's hand before he calmed himself, steeling his nerves. "Grian forgot his phone at home, and I had texted him about it. He, Jimmy and Tango had made plans and I didn't know about it," his breath choked, throat closing before he took a breath and continued. "They had, uh, a free period after lunch, and would have taken their time with it and stuff, but they didn't think I'd tag along so y'know."

Cub hummed, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. "Not dumb, Scar, I think that's a perfectly normal thing to get upset at."

Scar relaxed, exhaling as Ren nodded in agreement. "Yeah, dude. They're your friend group as much as they are everyone else's. It sucks when you think you can go but realize you can't," he chimed, reaching out to pat Scar's shoulder. Scar gave him a smile, feeling better.

He sighed dramatically, leaning forwards to Cub, tucking his head back into his shoulder. "Take me home?" He asked in a mumble, listening to the chuckle Cub let out as he patted his arm.

"Course. It's why I came anyway," Cub hummed, rubbing Scar's back before moving him away, standing up. "But we're grabbing you food before we go home. I'm assuming you haven't eaten since morning, and that was, what, seven hours ago?"

Scar shrugged, an awkward smile on his face. "Maybe?" He gave a nervous chuckle, knowing that the gaze Cub fixed him with was less than impressed. "I'm fine, Cub," he mumbled with a pout, leaning back with his arms crossed.

"Uh, if you two want," Ren chimed in, nervously fiddling with his shirt collar. "Bdubs and I were going to meet our boyfriends at a ramen shop a few minutes away. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I brought you two along!"

Scar and Cub exchanged a glance. Cub raised an eyebrow, glancing at Ren with an uneasy look before looking back at Scar. He thought for a moment, fiddling with his phone before he nodded, looking at Ren. "If you're sure they wouldn't mind, I think it'd be fun."

Ren stood up with excitement, happily grinning as he headed towards the lounge door. "C'mon, then! Bdubs has been waiting for me to check up on you. Pretty sure Etho's already here," he waved the two to follow him, holding the door open for Scar.

Scar chuckled, following Cub out. Hopefully this will help take his mind off of things.

----

The ramen shop was nice and peaceful. It was big and wide, accommodating a lot of tables and room for guests, but just as Scar thought, not enough for a wheelchair at the tables or bar itself.

Good thing he had switched to his crutches instead. Cub had been insistent on Scar staying in his chair, saying he should keep himself rested, but Ren had chimed in that he wasn't too sure about the shop having enough space for a wheelchair. Cub had relented, albeit with a huff about accessibility.

Not that Scar minded. Sitting at Ren's and Bdubs' usual table with Martyn and Etho, their boyfriends, was nice. The quiet atmosphere also helped, the chatter of his friends and the two new faces was nice.

Martyn was probably the nicest. Etho was more held back, only having said a hi to Scar and Cub before busying himself with Bdubs, who happily accepted the attention with a giddy giggle. Etho was a tall guy, his hair tied up in a bun with a mask covering most of his face, seemingly radiating comfort in his seemingly haphazardly put together outfit.

Martyn was smaller, his hair grown out past his shoulders, just enough to tie it up into a ponytail so none of his hair got in the way of eating. He had pointed, pierced ears with shiny earrings that Scar's eyes kept getting drawn to, with a bandana that seemingly covered something on his head. Not that Scar asked.

They were both nice, over all, and they happily included both Cub and Scar in their conversation. Still, Scar felt a little out of place, awkwardness tinging his stomach as he held onto Cub's arm, leaning into his side.

"You okay?" Cub asked quietly as their food started arriving. They thanked their server, a small silence falling over the group as they got their right ramens and sides.

Scar hummed after a little, taking a sip of his ramen. It was really good. No wonder Ren and Bdubs were regulars here. Even if he's been teaching here for a while, Scar never really explored hole in the wall places, which most of his colleagues liked.

The chatter resumed between the others, and Cub leaned back to Scar, voice quiet. "You haven't said much, Scar. What's up?" He asked, concern clear in his features. "We can leave if this is too much for you."

Scar shook his head, leaning back slightly. "Just tired, Cub. Don't worry," he gave his friend a smile, ignoring how much he'd like to simply lay his head down and sleep. "I'll be okay. I have patrol anyway," he choked himself off as soon as the words were out of his mouth, glancing at the others.

They didn't seem to notice. Martyn did give them a look, but Scar just smiled at him, and he smiled back, joining back into the others' conversation. Scar relaxed, as did Cub next to him.

Still, he leaned in more, cupping a hand against his ear so his words wouldn't echo. "Are you sure you want to go on patrol today? It doesn't seem like a smart idea, Scar," Cub said, his words full of concern and worry. He just smiled at Cub, trying to ease his friend's nerves.

"What are you two chatting about so secretively over there?" Bdubs chimed up, a toothy grin flashing at the pair. "Some science talk we can't participate in?" He teased, leaning forwards, his head propped against his hand.

Scar laughed awkwardly, shaking his head. "No, just private plans," he said, tapping his fingers against the table. His hand felt odd, like he wasn't controlling his fingers. That's not good. "Cub and I always make plans for afternoons."

Cub nodded, trying to help instill the lie. "Yeah. It's usually to do with my job, and the government doesn't exactly express any happiness at me bringing a non science guy in," he joked, earning a few laughs from the others. Scar forced a small smile, only for it to waiver and drop.

His gaze felt disoriented. He could feel himself stepping back from his body without his control, and time seemed to tilt. He could watch himself move, meanwhile mentally freaking out. He could feel his tongue move, the vibrations in his throat, but didn't digest any of the words he said.

His hands felt cold, clammy. When did he start sweating? Why was he so dizzy? Why was Cub shaking him?

He blinked, taking a deep breath as his mind righted itself. His hand was clenching his utensil, his heart was pattering in his chest and his ears were ringing. How much time had passed?

"Scar, you okay?" Cub's voice asked, the gentle shaking turning to a soothing rub. "Do you want to go outside for a bit?"

He blinked, his brain catching up with his body. His friends were all looking at him with concern, even Etho and Martyn. Though, Martyn had a more quizzled look, as if trying to figure something out.

Scar opened his mouth, inhaling before closing his mouth, feeling the words die against his lips. He nodded instead, staring a hole into the wood of the table. "I'm alright," he forced out, trying to take deep, even breaths.

Cub gave him a pat on the back, hand squeezing his shoulder before hesitantly pulling back. He gave Scar a worried look, which Scar vehemently ignored, simply focusing on eating and staying in his mind.

The chatter continued eventually, the tense silence melting away slowly and comfortably. The rest of the lunch, Scar was quiet, keeping himself stable by focusing on the actions of eating and breathing, digesting each word he heard.

"You sure you're okay?" Martyn asked when they were done, heading out to go home. "You were pretty out of it, I saw," he trailed off, eyes glancing at Cub and Ren before looking back, his lips pursed slightly with concern. "I know we just met, but you seem like a nice person, Scar. I want to make sure you're okay. Ren really cares for you."

The words felt hushed, quiet. A secretive olive branch. It warmed Scar, happiness blooming in his chest, a warm change compared to the feeling of confusion and hurt from earlier. "Yeah, I'm all okay," he said, following Martyn outside. "Just a bad day due to my PTSD, that's all."

Martyn hummed, contemplating as he stepped aside to let Scar out before gently grabbing his shoulder and pulling his phone out. "Here, take my number," he said, turning his phone towards Scar. "Text me when you're free sometime."

Scar stared for a moment, blinking at the screen before he handed one of his crutches off to Cub, pulling his phone out to jot the number down, sending a quick test text. Martyn's phone dinged and the blond gave him a radiant smile. "See you soon, I hope?" He asked, slipping his phone into his pocket as he shifted over to Ren's side, leaning up to peck his cheek.

Scar nodded, taking his crutch back from Cub. "Yeah, see you soon," he said, waving at the two as they left.

Bdubs gave him a quick hug, rattling off plans for tomorrow for them to meet up in the afternoon. Bdubs and Ren were the ones who had cleaner, slightly less busy days at certain times, so they hung out a lot more together. Still, Scar appreciated the effort, so he agreed.

He gave a wave to Bdubs and Etho as he and Cub started walking back, telling them to have a great day. He just about felt ready to collapse into bed and sleep.

He really didn't want to go on patrol.

------

The drive back home was relatively quiet. Scar felt detached, an intense exhaustion seeping into his bones at the thought of even going outside after getting home. Yet, he knew he had to. At least for an hour or two.

He was scrolling through his Instagram, just seeing what everyone was up to. He had talked with Tango a little over text, letting him know he left early and to tell Jimmy that Cleo would be covering his later classes and office hours.

"Scar," Cub started as they got closer to Scar's place, stopping at a red light. Cub sighed, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as he tried to find the right words. "I'd really prefer," he paused, trying to bite through his sentence. "I'd really prefer if you didn't go on patrol today."

Scar looked over, blinking in surprise. Something eased in the back of his mind and weight dropped off his shoulders. Cub didn't expect him to go. "Why?" He asked, shutting his phone off to pay attention to his friend.

Cub hesitated, sighing before he flicked his turn signal on and pulled over into a side road. He parked and turned the car off. He leaned back, staring ahead at the greenery hanging above them as cars passed by them. Scar fiddled with his phone, anxiety threatening to make him do something rash.

"Cub?" Scar prompted quietly, reaching out to touch his friend's shoulder. Cub just moved away, and Scar felt the world open up beneath him and swallow him whole. What did he do? "What's wrong?"

Cub sighed, loud and heavy before he looked at Scar with an expression Scar rarely sees. His eyebrows were furrowed, a frown nearly stitched onto his face with tears brimming his eyes. Cub was hurting, and hurting bad.

Scar wasn't even thinking before he pulled Cub into a hug, their seatbelts digging into skin uncomfortably, but it didn't matter. Horror settled in his gut, his arms coming up to wrap around Cub's neck, one hand tangling in his hair while the other simply held him. "What happened?" He whispered, fear dripping from his voice. What had Scar done?

Cub leaned into him, taking his glasses off so he can press his face into the junction of Scar's neck and shoulder, shakey breaths accompanied choked back sobs as his other hand held onto Scar with a death grip, shaking from the force. Scar simply waited and held him, the hand tangled in his hair gently scratching his scalp, trying to soothe the held back cries.

It took a while until Cub was well enough to form words. His voice was tear strained, pulled thin from held back emotions that had been brewing for a while. "I'm so scared for you, Scar," Cub said, just barely above a whisper. He sniffled, another round of tears dripping onto Scar's neck and skin. "You always push yourself so much, and now? Now you don't even take enough time to rest from bad days."

Cub hiccuped and whimpered, letting out a sob as he held Scar closer. "I'm so scared you'll hurt yourself badly and you won't tell me because you think you're a burden," he pulled back slightly, shaking Scar ever so gently. "You aren't a burden, you fucking moron, please don't let them teach you that your worth is tied to your ability to be perfect."

Anger was blazing on Cub's expression, only to sizzle out as more tears rolled down his face. "You aren't a burden," he breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut as Scar cupped his face, wiping away and stray tear he could. "I love you so much, Scar. I love you so much," he muttered, leaning back into Scar, finally relaxing.

Scar rubbed his back, simply staring at nothing out of Cub's driver seat window. His head was reeling, and he felt a little sick. He had made Cub worry this much. He took a deep breath, pressing a kiss against Cub's head, tucking himself into Cub in return. "I won't go on patrol today," he said, ignoring how relieved he felt at the words being spoken aloud by himself.

As long as Cub wanted him to do something, he will do it. He didn't see why he shouldn't. After all, Cub was his closest friend. He trusted him.

-------

Cub was staying over again, and Scar wasn't calling Grian. He was curled on the couch, the setting sun streaming golden rays of liquid warmth into the livingroom, eating takeout Cub had ordered from his favourite Chinese place.

They were watching Howl's Moving Castle, having watched Ponyo beforehand. Cub had decided that it's a Ghibli marathon day, and Scar wasn't complaining. They were planning to watch Spirited Away, and then Tales from the Earthsea. The films always had a way to make Scar feel better.

Yet, even as he watched the comforting domesticity of the walking castle's residence, his mind was still stuck on today's events. He wanted to call Grian, but he hesitated to. What if he was bothering him? Or he was still busy? Was he even busy? Should he even bother? He felt angry at Grian, even if it made no logical sense.

"I can hear you think from over here, Scar," Cub chastised in a loving tone, leveling him with a look. "What's on your mind, bud?" He asked, scooting closer to him, earning a disgruntled meow from Jellie as she hopped off of Cub. "Oh, well, excuse me, your highness," Cub said with some mirth, giving her head a rub before she jumped off the couch, walking off.

Scar sighed as he uncurled, leaning towards Cub instead, curling an arm into his. "Do you think I'm a bad person?" He asked with a sulk, pressing his face into Cub's shoulder.

Cub gave a sputter before laughing with disbelief as he pressed a kiss to Scar's head. "Where did you get *that* idea from, hm?" He asked, leaning into Scar to balance them a little. "You"re a good person, Scar. People love you, and I'd never think you're a bad person. Even if your job is questionable at times."

Scar sighed, leaning forwards to put his takeout container down. "I'm mad at Grian," he mumbles as he folded himself back into Cub, a pout hanging off his face petulantly. "I feel bad about it. I shouldn't be mad at him for doing bad. He just forgot his phone."

Cub hummed, tucking his face into Scar's hair, exhaling softly before he spoke, words rubbing against his head. "And why are you mad at him?" He asked, as if it was a simple thing Cub shouldn't be judging him for.

Scar blew his cheeks up, letting out a raspberry as he realized what Cub was doing. "You need to stop seeing your shrink," he complained, earning a huffed laughter as he moved Cub's arm, sinking into his side instead. "Stop using your psychology magic on me."

Cub wrapped his arm around Scar's back, resting his hand comfortably on Scar's mid back. "I don't think I will," he joked, pressing another kiss to his head. "Now come on, deconstruct your anger."

Scar sighed, putting his head into the crook of Cub's neck. He stayed silent for a moment, simply listening to the movie. It was at his favourite part, he simply knew. Suliman was beginning to unveil what Howl really is. He listened to the music, letting the scene pass before he spoke.

"I'm mad he isn't leaning on me," he mumbled, still loud enough for Cub to hear. "I did that to him, and I want to make it up to him, but all I can do is call and offer to do plans, and I can't even do that when he leaves his phone somewhere," he shifted as he spoke, untucking himself from Cub to watch his TV. "I just want to make up for hurting him."

Cub hummed, inhaling in a way that Scar knew meant he was thinking. He stayed silent for a little, likely turning Scar's words over in his mind. Anxiety trickled down his stomach, his mind rushing to overthink. Scar nuzzled his head into Cub, trying to ignore the thoughts that buzzed around in his head.

He felt Cub press another kiss against his head and all worries disappeared. "I don't think you need to go out of your way to make up to Grian," he started, slow and gentle. Scar's face scrunched up immediately and Cub laughed, likely feeling the reaction against his skin. "Thought you'd react like that."

Scar huffed, pushing away from Cub while putting his arms up with a playful glare. "Well, I say! I pour my heart out and here you are, mr. Cub! You tease me! Your best friend in the whole wide world!" He exclaimed, putting a hand on his heart while leaning back in dramatics. "You wound me so eternally, I don't know how I shall ever forgive you."

"I'll make you cookies and popcorn the way you like with hot chocolate after Howl if you keep talking," Cub said, the offer easy and light as Scar settled back against Cub, nuzzling back into his spot. "Just to make up for the grave injury I've caused."

Scar hummed with satisfaction as he settled down, considering the pros and cons with a fake contemplatory expression. "I dunno... Will I get extra marshmallows and some whipped cream on my hot cocoa?" He asked, pulling away just for a moment to grab his takeout container again.

Cub laughed, shaking his head as he comfortably wrapped an arm around Scar's middle, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. "Anything for you, you big baby."

Scar laughed, gently poking Cub's ribs in retaliation. Talking about his emotions wasn't exactly his forte, but he doesn't mind.

-----

The night was warm. It was starting to move the full swing of spring, so Scar slept with his windows open for the first time in months. A gentle breeze brushed fresh air into his room, ruffling his curtains.

He was scrolling through his social medias, his eyes heavy and stinging. Cub had convinced him to call out of work for tomorrow, promising to stay with him for the day and they can take it easy, do anything Scar wants, even if that's sleeping the whole day.

He sighed, glancing at the digital clock that said 1:03 AM. Would Grian be awake at this rate? Probably not. He didn't want to wake him, but...

He sat up, shifting himself to sit against his wall before he dialed Grian's number. He stared at his wall as he waited, anxiety curling his stomach into curdles. The call wasn't answered. Instead, the usual, familiar voicemail greeted Scar.

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Relief sunk into his mind like a stone, gently floating to the bottom until he relaxes. He didn't disturb Grian. At least, majorly. The beep sounded, and he realized he had no words to speak.

"Uh," he started, feeling awkward at the silence he gave. "Hi, Grian, it's Scar," he fumbled, finding some footing in the jumble of his mind. "I'm really sorry to call you this late, I don't even know what I was thinking when I pressed call," he laughed lightly, feeling words bubble against his tongue, things he'd like to say and ask.

Does your scarf smell like me? Where did you put the nurse shark? Are you sleeping well? Did you enjoy lunch? Do you need help? Do you want help? Do you want my help?

He swallowed, letting the words die on his lips instead, the silence defeaning. "I missed you, today," he said eventually, voice quiet, gentle. As if he was telling a secret. "I thought we could hang out and get lunch, but it didn't work out. I wanted to ask," he hesitated, biting his cheek before he exhaled.

"This will sound weird," he let out a chuckle, trying to roll the embarrassment off his shoulders. "But where did you put that nurse shark? I know you have two cats," he panicked for a moment, remembering that Grian never told him before he recovered, barely even pausing in his sentence. "Jimmy told me their names were Pearl and Maui, and I know that they consider most plushies to be their own play things."

He laughed softly, remembering how Jellie used to treat each and every piece of plush toy he brought home when he was younger. "I hope it wasn't an issue," he shifted, laying down, rubbing his eyes as he started to finally get tired. "I'm not coming in tomorrow, so I can't promise any plans, but if you want, maybe," he trailed off, words interrupted by a yawn. "We can hang out after tomorrow."

He stretched, shifting to lay on his stomach, letting his phone rest next to his pillow. "I hope you have a nice day tomorrow, G. Bye," he breathed, pressing end voicemail. His face was heated, but he wasn't quite sure why. He patted around his nightstand, picking his charger up to plug his phone in.

He let himself sink into his bed, his body melting with sleep and exhaustion. His eyes fluttered closed, imagining the gentle material of a scarf pressed against his face. The buzzing in his mind quietened and he exhaled, slipping into a comfortable and quiet sleep.

------

Scar woke up to his alarm. He forgot to turn it off. He grumbled, patting his bed to find his phone, squinting at the screen before realizing it wasn't his alarm, but a call.

A call from Grian.

He was awake in a moment, scrambling to sit up while answering the call. "Hi," he breathed, pushing a hand through his hair as anxiety brimmed his throat. "Sorry about the late call last night," he said, words tumbling over one another. "Did you need something?"

Grian laughed on the other end, breathy and light. There was shifting, as if Grian had woken up just then as well. Something about it made Scar flush. 'Well, kind of,' he said, shifting more, as if Scar was on speaker phone. 'I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out today. I have today off as well.'

Scar let out a flustered laugh, laying back down, laying his phone onto his bed while pressing his face into his pillow. He looked at the call, pressing speaker phone. "I'd love that. A friend of mine, Cub, offered to hang with me the whole day, so if you don't mind, he'd be there, too."

There was a smile in Grian's voice as he hummed, affectionate and happy. 'Yeah, course. Not a problem at all, Scar. The most I was planning on was just staying home and playing with Maui and Pearl, so this is a nice excuse to get me outside.'

Scar hummed as well, settling back into bed. "Do you wanna stay on call?" He asked, voice going to a mumble. "I'm still tired, but I wouldn't be opposed to calling with you," he said, shifting to keep his phone close enough so Grian can hear him clearly. The idea was appealing, his mind too tired to think about what he said.

Grian hummed, shifting on his end as well. 'Yeah, that'd be nice,' he was interjected by a yawn of his own, followed by more shuffling. 'Oh, Maui, really? Maui's decided to lay on my back,' Grian complained, earning a laugh from Scar.

'I woke you, didn't I?' He asked after a beat of silence, sighing. 'Sorry. I got excited after hearing your voicemail,' he joked, voice shy and nervous. 'I liked knowing you missed me.'

Scar laughed at that, a breathy, flustered thing that followed the rapid beating of his heart. "No, it's okay. I liked waking up to your call," he said, nervously chuckling. "Though, I am dead tired still."

Grian hummed in agreement, and a quiet settled over them. Sleep pulled at him, and as the quiet wasn't interrupted, Scar couldn't help but doze off, listening to the quiet breathing of his friend over the other end.

------

Scar woke up to the sun streaming into his eyes. He shifted, letting out a groan. His hand bumped against his phone and he grabbed it, looking for the time. Instead of his lockscreen, his still on going call with Grian is what greeted him. He blinked, squinting to see that it was a few hours later.

Quiet humming streamed through the receiver, with quiet pops and sizzles. Scar shifted, sitting up with a stretch, yawning. He took the call off speaker, putting his phone to his ear while rubbing his eyes. "Hello?" He called, voice croak-y and ever so tired still.

'Morning again, Scar,' Grian greeted, smile in his voice. 'How did you sleep?' He asked, followed by the click of what sounded like a water heater. 'Sorry if I woke you, I'm making lunch. Well, breakfast?'

Scar simply half groaned in reply, laying back down. "I'm tired," he complained, voice muffled as he nuzzled his head back into his pillow. "Can I spend the whole day in bed?" He asked, flushing at the chuckle that it earned him from Grian's end.

'I mean, if you want me to just come over and lay with you on your couch or something,' he paused for a second, the clinking of cutlery against porcelain a resounding sound in the relative quiet. 'Then I'll likely get beheaded by Mumbo for not doing something with him.'

Scar snorted at that, stretching himself out with a content sound. "If it means I get to spend time with you," he trailed off, trying to will himself to get up. He squeezed his eyes before shifting, putting his phone back on speaker, taking it off it's charger. "I'm gonna take you with me to grab some clothes before I shower, is that okay?" He asked as he sat up, stretching again to feel the sore burn of his muscles.

'Yeah, that's fine. I mean, I took you with me to make breakfast. I don't see why you couldn't take me with you,' Grian chuckled, taking a sip of his drink before continuing. 'What do you wanna do today?'

Scar hummed as he stood up, cane clutched in his hand. "I dunno," he said, getting together clothes for his shower first. He strained his ears, listening for any signs of life from Cub. He could faintly hear the TV going. "I'll ask Cub and then we'll see where we're at, okay?"

Grian hummed an agreement, with Scar taking that as permission to put his phone down, heading to open his door and lean out. "Hey, Cub?" He yelled, getting a loud 'Yeah?' in return almost immediately, making him let out a quiet laugh. "What do you wanna do today?"

There was a bit of silence before Cub listed a few things, probably having written them down ages ago. "Okay! Thank you!" He went to go back into his room before he stuck his head back out, remembering he had invited Grian. "Hey, I kinda impulse invited Grian, is it okay if he hangs with us?" He called back down, getting a 'Yeah, of course!' back. He yelled down a thank you before shutting his door.

Grian was laughing from the other end, obviously having heard Scar's side of the exchange. 'So, I'm an impulse invite?' He teased as Scar walked back over to pick his phone up. Scar scoffed lightly, making sure Grian heard his distaste. 'Oh, come on, I think it's nice!'

Scar laughed lightly at that, turning speaker phone back off to tuck the phone against his shoulder so he had a free hand to grab his clothes. "Yeah, yeah, I like hanging with you," he said, making his way out of his room fully. "Hey, is it okay if I shower now? I can hang up if it bothers you."

There was a small sputter before Grian replied. 'I thought you were just changing,' he said with a flustered laugh. 'No, yeah, it's fine, don't worry.'

Scar hummed, shutting the bathroom door behind him. He placed his clothes on his counter, leaving his phone nestled on top. The process of everything helped turn his brain off, the repetitive movement that he's done reliably for years now. The warm water of the shower helped relax any tension his shoulders held.

It wasn't an egregiously long shower, but it still gave him enough time to wash his hair, and turn his thoughts off to a pleasant hum instead. He dried himself off in no time, dampness sticking to his hair as he dug his hairdryer out of its drawer, putting himself on mute for a little so he wouldn't blast Grian's ears off.

He tied his hair up, looking in the mirror. He glanced over his face, nose scrunching before he took the ponytail out, rolling the hairtie onto his wrist. He looked too much like HotGuy. He grabbed his phone, having tossed his dirty clothes into his clothes hamper. He unmuted himself, holding his phone to his ear once again. "Hi there," he said, listening to the gentle sounds of Grian's breathing, his shuffling.

'Hi Scar,' Grian said back, voice gentle, almost distracted. 'Do you mind if I shower, too?' He asked, shuffling going past whatever he had for a microphone. Probably his shirt. 'It's not a bad idea.'

Scar hummed, going back into his room to grab his earphones, switching over to them as he switched his Bluetooth on. "Go ahead," he said, grabbing a few more things from his room before heading out again. "I'll text you what Cub says he has planned, or at least available."

'Sounds good,' and with that, Grian was muted and Scar was left with dead air. That was fine, though.

He greeted Cub downstairs in his livingroom, kissing his head and then leaning down to pat Jellie. "Hi there, my princess," he cooed in Vex, scratching under her chin, earning a purr. "So, do you have anything you wanna do?" He asked, sitting down next to Cub on the couch, leaning onto his side. "We gotta make use of the nice weather."

Cub hummed, pressing a kiss to Scar's head in return. "I was thinking we could go see a movie, and then try that new bakery down the street," Cub said, Vex slipping off his tongue. It was easy enough to switch to Vex, especially if they wanted to keep something secret. Cub didn't need to ask what Scar wanted to keep secret, he simply did it without question.

"The really fancy one?" Scar asked, unimpressed as he leveled his friend with a raised eyebrow. "Really, Cub?" He asked, earning a pinch to his side, a laugh ringing out of him in return. "Alright, alright, mr. Fancypants, the really fancy bakery it is. I'm covering Grian's bill, whatever he buys."

Cub hummed, nuzzling his head into Scar's hair, enjoying the closeness. Jellie shifted in his lap and he let her up, watching as she stretched and hopped off. "Have you been on call with him since you woke up?" He asked, switching back to English as he shifted, curling up against Scar.

"Nah," Scar mumbled, moving Cub's arm to sink into his side. "Been on call since he woke me up. We fell asleep together like this," he laughed lightly, a giddy feeling filling his stomach with butterflies. "I think it's fun."

Cub hummed, his hands coming down to Scar's wrist, catching the bracelet. He traced it idly, going over the charm notches. "I should buy you some charms," he said idly, taking his wrist close to his face. "I thought you'd get your hands on some since you like collecting that stuff."

Scar shrugged, watching his wrist as Cub turned his arm around, watching all the glistening charm notches. "I haven't found any that's piqued my interest, neither have I had much time to make any." The explanation felt sour. He hasn't had much energy or time to do much of anything he'd like to. He has some ideas, though.

"Why don't we go look at some charms later, then? There's that arts and crafts store near the movies downtown, yeah? We could check that out," Cub hummed, moving away to stand up. "Do you want food?" He asked, ruffling Scar's hair, earning a disgruntled noise from him.

Food did sound good, though. As did the charms. He leaned back, huffing. "Yeah, food sounds good. Can you pretty please make me some French toast? I have dried bread in the cupboard," he asked with a whine in his voice, giving Cub puppy dog eyes. Cub just snorted, nodding as he headed to Scar's kitchen, ignoring the happy whoop his friend let out.

-------

Scar stayed on the phone with Grian until he set off for the movies. They talked about nothing and simply listened to one another exist. Grian gave his comments to Scar's conversations with Cub, which Scar gave to Cub with a laugh. In return, Scar teased him about working on his off day, having heard the scribble of a pen and the tell tale tip tap of a computer.

It was simple to talk with Grian, or simply listen to him exist for hours. Everything was simple and calm. There was no effort or expectation, simply being a listener or a conversational partner. The phantom presence that Grian had was comforting, a soft second hand that brushed the back of Scar's neck, a gentle laughter at something he said out of context. It was nice.

Now he was getting ready with Cub, sitting on his couch with his back to his friend, who was softly fussing over him not wanting to bring his chair. "I'm sure it'll be fine!" Cub insisted, combing through Scar's hair with a bit of water as he helped style it, trying to braid bits and pieces. "You've been there before with your chair, I don't want you to strain yourself."

Scar hummed, leaning back into Cub, reaching up to pat his arm. "I'll be okay, Cub," he said, looking up at Cub, small smile on his face. "Promise, alright? Just a small outing! And then I can switch to my chair," he took one of Cub's hands, putting it onto his cheek, nuzzling into the touch. "Alright? Sounds good?"

Cub sighed, rubbing his thumb against Scar's cheek. "Yeah, alright," he agreed, leaning down to kiss Scar's forehead. "Sorry. I just don't want you to push yourself, and you do it too much as HotGuy," he mumbled, letting his head rest against Scar's. "I shouldn't be letting my worry win."

Scar laughed softly, carefully pushing into Cub's head, bumping foreheads. "It's okay. I know you care. I love you for it," he said, earning a huff from Cub as he shifted away. "I do! Don't pout, big baby," he teased, grabbing his cane to stand up. "Come on, we gotta get going."

Cub sighed dramatically, grabbing whatever he had set out for the outing. "When we get back, I'm gonna ask for another day off for you," Cub mumbled under his breath, a half threat that hung in the air. Scar leveled him with a look, raising an eyebrow before he snorted, causing the two to laugh.

"Alright, alright, but I get to come with you to the lab, you do not get to skip out on work more," Scar said, relenting to the whims of his friend, patting Cub's arm before linking their arms together, pulling Cub towards his front door and out.

------

Scar was sitting next to Grian. Their legs were touching just barely as they talked, waiting for the movie to start. Scar was leaning towards Grian a bit, sharing his popcorn with him while Cub had his own thing. It was so easy to simply submerge himself in the conversation, nothing else taking his attention until the lights dimmed.

Yet still, his gaze fell on Grian, words dying on his tongue to be spoken, dancing with the want to have Grian lean on him, as he had during their aquarium outing. Much like last time, Grian had the scarf on, tucked in correctly this time. Scar wanted to reach up and touch it, to rub the material and calm whatever nervous energy he'd acquired.

He kept his hands to himself, his heart pattering in his chest. The movie itself was interesting, so it wasn't particularly hard to distract himself from the flush that spread across his face and the thump of his heart against his ribs. Still, his eyes wandered, watching the lights of the movie illuminate Grian's face, taint his hair beautiful shades and reflect against his glasses.

Grian was beautiful.

Scar pushed the thought away, his face burning. He worried his lip and cheek, fiddling with the popcorn bucket he was holding so Grian wouldn't need to worry about it. His thoughts swarmed, his attention being instantly stolen when Grian shifted, curling up just slightly as he hooked his arm through Scar's and rested his head against Scar's shoulder.

He tensed, exhaling shakily before he made himself relax, laying his head against Grian's. This felt more intimate than when they were in the aquarium. Cub was right there, it was just them, with so little people watching them. He fidgeted with his sleeve, the smell of Grian's shampoo lighting his face with a flush.

It was so similar to the smell that had been on the scarf. He inhaled deeply, forcing himself to relax despite the nerves that was brushing against his stomach. He shifted, pressing his face into Grian's hair, his free hand coming up to toy with Grian's scarf without his permission. His thumb rubbed against a small part, holding it still with his index.

Still, it worked. Any and all anxiety and nervousness seeped out of him, and Grian didn't seem to mind. He actually seemed to be happy about it, moving his upper body so Scar had more to fidget with.

Scar hummed quietly in question, receiving only the gentle bump of Grian's hands as he unraveled his neatly tucked in scarf, handing him one end. He smiled into Grian's hair, looking back at the film.

-----

The film had been good. The three were happily chatting about it while Cub got Scar's wheelchair out of the trunk of his car. Grian apparently really liked the soundtrack, while Cub argued that, thematically, it sucked. Scar was happy fo see them getting along.

"So, where are we going now?" Grian asked in a moment of quiet between laughter and jokes. "I know Scar said you got everything planned, but he kind of failed to mention where we're going after the movies," he said as he gave a smile to Scar, no malice in his eyes over it. He seemed happy enough to spend time with him.

Cub hummed, taking Scar's cane as he sat down in his chair, stretching himself out while Cub ruffled his hair. "We're going to an arts and crafts store to look for some charms for Scar's bracelet," he stated, shutting his trunk. "He hasn't had the time to make any, so I'm hoping we can find something nice for him to get started on."

Grian hummed, gaze going back to Scar with a grin that was infectious and loving all at the same time. Scar chuckled softly, his face flushing once again as he looked away, pushing a hand through his hair. "I like making my own charms, and Cub brought me this bracelet with specific charm slots," he explained, pushing his sleeve up to show Grian the band.

He gently took Scar's wrist, hands soft as he rubbed over the charm slots, his skin warm. Butterflies fluttered in Scar's stomach and he gently took his hand away from Grian, feeling nauseas at the sudden touch. "Uh, should we get dinner after that?" He asked nervously, looking at Cub with pleading eyes. He was panicking over such simple stuff, but the way his heart raced, he couldn't help but ask for something from his friend.

Cub glanced at Grian, his gaze hardening before he smiled, nodding. "Yeah, course! I know this great place not so far away, Scar, you'll love it, and I'm sure Grian will as well," he quickly rambled, hand resting on Scar's shoulder before gently pushing him to start moving. "I'm sure you can find something at the store you can use as well, Grian."

Grian looked uneasy, following the two with furrowed eyebrows, frowning. He definitely picked up on the unease Scar gave. Guilt gripped him. Did he hurt Grian again? Scar looked away, following Cub as he rambled, leading a conversation that Scar wasn't paying attention to. He just needed an out right then, and Cub gave it to him.

The walk to the store was mildly awkward, a silence eventually settling over the group before they agreed to split up a little, look for their own thing for projects and alike. Even then, Cub waited until Grian was out of sight to start talking quietly, vex sliding off his tongue. "What's wrong? What did he do?" He asked, gaze hard as he browsed some satin material. "Did he hurt you?"

Scar laughed lightly as he grabbed some ribbons from the section underneath the satins. These would work well for some dolls he wanted to make. "No, Cub," he said, similarly in Vex. "I just," he trailed off, a lump forming in his throat as he moved onto the beads, Cub following behind him. "I got so nervous."

Cub hummed, reaching up to take some beads down that he knew Scar liked using. "Why nervous? I thought he was your friend," he asked, watching where Scar pointed so he can get different beads down. "Or did something happen between you two?"

Scar laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head before moving on, trying to avoid forming the answer he didn't want to say. "Nothing big happened," he said instead, ignoring the words floating around his tongue. He didn't like Grian like that, he was sure of it. "I just, he touched me and I got so flustered and I couldn't speak for a moment, and I," he trailed off, his face flushing as he swallowed. He avoided the thought, but the want itched his fingers. He had wanted to kiss Grian.

Immediately, he pushed the thought away, shaking his head. "I just got nervous," he finished, hoping Cub wouldn't push him on it. There was silence for a bit as Scar looked over some clays, air dry and otherwise. He liked arts and crafts, always enjoyed working with his hands.

Cub was quiet, handing him whatever he couldn't reach. It made him nervous, his eyes averting Cub's whenever he handed him something, a thick lump forming in his throat, this time from anxiety. What did he say to upset Cub so much? Was he mad he wasn't being truthful? Was Scar even being truthful to himself?

"You know," Cub started, thumbing through piled satin, picking out a shade for Scar to hold. "If you like him, that's not an issue. CuteGuy isn't," he trailed off, his jaw clenching. Scar looked ahead quickly, his own jaw tightening. "No one has seen him in a while, is what I'm trying to say."

Scar's anxiety heightened. He wasn't enjoying what Cub was implying, but he chewed the words, took a second, and digested them. The thoughts connected in his mind as he took his own needle and thread, linking separate ideas and thoughts together just so things made sense.

Grian was available. Grian wasn't an opposing vigilante. Grian was nice, pretty, kind, he took Scar seriously. He treated him as a person when he was HotGuy. Scar took a breath, nodding slowly. Something in his mind snagged, nagging him like an irritated cut. He was missing something, but he wasn't sure what.

"You're right," he said slowly, carefully. The words on his tongue clumped together and his anxiety flared. His thoughts were spiraling. Order was being shaken apart and memories and feelings flashed, hands touching him, lights flashing. He stared ahead, eyes unfocusing as he listened to the feelings, letting himself be overwhelmed just for a moment.

He brought himself out of the waves, knowing far too well how to. He glanced at Cub, who was looking at him with a quirked eyebrow. "What?" He asked, a smile tugging on his lips as he ignored the flashback he was having. As long as nothing triggers him, he should be fine.

Cub sighed, gently ruffling his hair. "You zoned out. Got taken out by your thoughts?" He asked, turning back to the craft products. Cub took a few other things before moving on, his eyes straying towards Scar over and over. "Are you okay?"

Scar nodded, organizing the materials on his lap, feeling the differences between each thing, begging his mind to stop thinking. "Yeah, I'm okay," he said after a beat, trying to say through the words that had formed at the tip of his tongue. "I still want to try something with CuteGuy," he stated eventually, following Cub as he walked down the isle. "I want to wait for him."

Cub gave no reply, simply giving Scar a look he was all too familiar with from Cub. He had dubbed it the 'kicked puppy' look ages ago. A combination of furrowed brows, a pout and an unreadable emotional soup in his eyes. Scar averted his gaze.

They can talk about this later.

-------

They weren't going to talk about it later, Scar had decided. Whenever he thought too hard about Grian or CuteGuy, memories came up that threatened him with nausea, their blades sharp and unforgiving.

The rest of the day had been semi-tense, which Scar regretted deeply. Cub had eased up slightly on Grian, but an edge stuck to his words, as if he was quietly challenging Grian to do anything, see what would happen. It was easy enough to ignore it and focus on his friend, buy him anything he wanted.

It felt fake, Scar knew very well. A sour taste in his mouth that he chose to ignore alongside the utter adoration that streamed in his chest when he watched Grian smile, chatting with him or Cub. Even if he saw how tense Grian was, the tightness that never quite left his shoulder blades.

He was so tired. He was curled up in Cub's passenger seat, staring ahead as the commotion inside his head only got louder. He knew he would get nightmares. They were inevitable at this rate. He was contemplating calling out of work tomorrow, just to keep himself on his feet.

Exam season was soon, though. He couldn't leave his students without a teacher this often during their most important time before exams. Still, the thought of going to work tomorrow made his head dizzy with nausea, his limbs heavy like lead. He couldn't do this.

He shut his eyes. Everything became a buzz and when he opened his eyes again, the car was parked and Cub was waiting for him, a hand gently resting on his shoulder, concern written on his face. "Should I stay?" Cub asked, rubbing his shoulder soothingly.

Scar nodded, letting himself lean into Cub.

-----

He was staying another day. He had called Jimmy and let him know after crawling into bed and just crying for a while. His voice had cracked and broken, and he'd let Jimmy know not to worry, it was just a bad PTSD day. His file said all of his diagnostic stuff, anyway.

Scar felt awful about it. It didn't feel right to take so many days off when he wasn't even doing that bad. He could function, that's all he really needs, but Cub had convinced him. Albeit, it didn't take much convincing at all. He was tired. He felt burned out. He just wanted to sleep and make up for making Grian uncomfortable.

For now, he was working on class work for his students so they can keep up. He liked making PowerPoints, even if it was exhausting to a certain line. Cub was pressed into his side, watching as he put together a table of contents and the material they should do to keep up. Cub was staying over again. Not that Scar minded. He'll be going with him to the lab tomorrow.

"You do too much work," Cub mumbled with a kiss to his shoulder, his arm wrapped around Scar's middle. "I swear, you run on a never ending battery and maybe some spite when you wanna prove me wrong," he said with a pinch to Scar's side, earning a gentle swat to the chest.

Scar hummed instead of replying, curling into Cub as he shifted his laptop to rest on both their knees. This had been their routine before. Scar had gotten in the habit of having Cub stay over long before he needed to stay home before exam season, which had been happening quite a lot more frequently than he'd like.

Silence prevailed for a few minutes, the quiet click and type of Scar's laptop being the only audible thing. "You know, you can always ask to do less patrols," Cub spoke up after a few minutes, his eyes still trained on Scar's laptop when Scar glanced up at him. "You already do enough. You're on call 24/7. It isn't healthy. Even for the pay."

Scar let out a sigh, pressing his lips into a line. This talk again. Guilt ebbed at him. He was making Cub worry so much, it was painful. Especially after his breakdown in the car. Scar rarely saw Cub that upset, not to mention crying. It bothered him that he had made one of his closest friends worry about him to such an extent.

"I know you want to help people, and that, after Grian," Cub trailed off, looking at Scar with an expression Scar knew all too well. He shut his laptop, putting it aside before he moved away from Cub, grabbing his cane to get up. "Scar," Cub started, catching his hand, which Scar tugged out of his grip. "We need to talk about it."

"No, we don't," Scar stated, walking to his kitchen. His throat felt tight. He knew exactly what Cub was referring to, and he didn't want to think about it.  The endless nights of guilt and the calling out sick for days on end because Scar couldn't step outside without getting sick. His PTSD got worse after Grian. His hands felt clammy, the feeling of a phantom bow rested heavy in his palms.

He took a few deep breaths as he took a drink out of his fridge, focusing on the cold of the can he took out. The condensation was already gathering against his skin as he stared into his stocked fridge. He never had enough time to cook, yet Cub always made sure his fridge was stocked. It pained him.

Cub appeared in the doorway a second later, watching as Scar dug around for some chocolate. He leaned against the wood, watching his friend in silence. "Scar," he started, quiet and soft. "I know you don't like talking about it, but it's not healthy to keep everything bottled."

Scar exhaled roughly, clenching his jaw as he felt anger broil beneath his skin, in his belly, an uncomfortable heat rising to his head. He hated being angry. The chocolate bar was cold. He pressed it into his cheek, trying to swallow the angry words that floated his tongue.

Cub came up behind him, gently resting a hand against his shoulder. "Please? At least to me. Talk to me about it," he borderline pleaded, ignoring the way Scar tensed under his hand. "Just this once, Scar. Let me help you, just this once. I know you need it, I know," he hesitated, tears clogging his words. "I know you want to."

Scar shut his fridge, trying to calm the storming rage that now boiled underneath his skin. He gripped the chocolate bar, feeling it break in the packaging before he took a deep breath and flung it at the wall. The chocolate fell to the floor, limp in its packaging before the can Scar was holding followed suit, expanding with pressure building up inside it.

Tears stung his eyes and he covered his face, shakily inhaling before he sobbed, all his anger shattering into unforgiving grief and pain. He kneeled down shakily, his legs giving out underneath him, leaving him half folded up on his kitchen floor as Cub sat down behind him, wrapping his arms around Scar.

"I hate them," he forced out, vision blurred from his tears. "I didn't want to hurt Grian," he sobbed, words catching on gasps. "They made me, they made me, I hate them." The words tumbled out, more following suit after. His heart bled freely, emotions tumbling over one another to get spoken.

------

Scar didn't sleep well that night. He was exhausted emotionally, mentally and physically, but his mind gave him no rest. As time passed, his body seemingly got over the tiredness that plagued his bones, his mind gaining a rush of energy that rejuvenated him.

He sighed, sitting up in his bed. His body felt tired still, feeling the heavy bags under his eyes as he slid towards the edge of his bed. He stretched, feeling his joints pop before he grabbed his cane and stood up. His mind buzzed, trying to remember where he placed his hero gear.

What's the harm in going out on patrol? He can't sleep, he felt energized, some fresh air could probably help calm his mind anyway. Cub wouldn't know. That was fine.

------

The air was cold, just as Scar wanted it to be. He inhaled, slow and deep, leaning against the cool concrete of a building. The heat that still simmered from his rage earlier was being sapped out. It was glorious.

The city was relatively quiet, anyway. Most people were asleep, giving HotGuy an excuse to be drowsy and tired as he headed towards the park near Grian's house. He just wanted some peace and quiet, really. The park was always peaceful at this time of night, so it should help.

The bench was shockingly cold when he sat down onto it, his thoughts finally turning into a quiet whisper as he tipped his head back, feeling his hair tickle the the back of his neck. A stray piece had come out of the bun he had put up.

He exhaled deeply, letting himself melt onto the wood with ease. He let his mind wander, feeling the faux presence of Grian next to him. It pressed into him, a fake warmth spreading over his skin as sleep ebbed at his mind. The discomfort of the cold kept him awake, but his limbs felt heavy, led burdened and tired.

HotGuy sat up, the faux warmth dissipating as he stretched, trying to wake himself back up. It didn't really help, his arms barely able to move properly. He was so tired. Why did he think coming outside would be a good idea?

"HotGuy?" A familiar voice called, the words registering a moment later as he looked over. Grian was walking over, half dressed and flustered looking as he pulled his jacket zipper fully up, closing it around the shirt he was wearing. "What are you doing out? It's nearly 4 am, you should be at home."

HotGuy just gave a smile, trying to ignore the way Grian looked earlier that day, the way hurt etched itself into his features like an ugly maw. "Professor! I could ask you the same," he said, leaning forwards to lean an elbow against his knee, propping his head up. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you came outside just for me."

Grian huffed, sitting down next to him. Much closer than he usually does. Not that HotGuy minded, it was cold. "I did, actually, to ask what the fuck you were doing out past 2 am. As far as anyone knows from public record, your shift ends at 1:30 AM." The chastising tone Grian gave had HotGuy melting where he sat. Affection prickled under his skin as he watched Grian, smile on his face.

Grian was dressed way too thin for the weather, though. Pajama pants being the only thing he had on and some slippers. "Well, I simply couldn't sleep tonight. I came out to get some fresh air and quiet. Not my fault I wandered a bit too near," he joked, leaning back. He hooked an arm around the back of the bench behind Grian, enjoying the warmth that came from him. "But you, professor, should go back to bed."

Grian gave him a look. He looked tired, a scowl fixed onto his face with bags under his eyes. He shifted, leaning closer to HotGuy as he sighed, getting comfortable. "Not unless you go home, but not like I can trust you to actually head home and sleep," he grumbled, staring at something in the distance.

HotGuy hummed, a laugh brimming from his throat. "Well, then I suppose we're at an impasse, unless you'd prefer to babysit me yourself like all the other times," he teased, shoulders tensing slightly as Grian turned to him, his breath warm. "You don't have to drive me home," he muttered as an add on, his face warming up.

Grian screwed his face into a glare before he stood up, grabbing HotGuy's arm to drag him up as well. "I'm having you sleep on my couch," he announced, dragging him towards a house. Scar sputtered, his entire body filling with a flush that left him stumbling. Not that he could say no to Grian. He didn't want to.

The apartment that Grian dragged him to was relatively spacious, and warm. His skin felt too cold once he was inside, feeling a chill that permeated his body uncomfortably. "Here," Grian said, quickly shucking off the slippers and jacket. He really only had his pajamas on. "I'll get you a pillow and a blanket, uhm," he glanced over HotGuy before smiling awkwardly. "Do whatever to make yourself comfortable."

Grian walked away, leaving HotGuy standing by his door. He shuffled around a little, taking his bow and quiver off. His phone tunked around his arrows and he kneeled down to get it out. No harm in doing so at this rate. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he realized Cub will kill him. Oh well.

Two cats flitted over to him, curiously looking with their tails slowly flicking around. "Ah," he said, leaning back to sit down. "You must be Maui and Pearl! Hello, darlings," he cooed, holding a hand out for them to sniff. One of the two rubbed against him, while the other just sniffed him and walked off, making no fuss. "Aww, hi there," he laughed softly, petting the one that stuck around.

"Oh, Pearl's warmed up to you, has she?" Grian asked, walking over to the couch with a pillow and a blanket. "She's really friendly. Sorry if Maui yelled at you, he can get kinda feisty if he gets woken up, which I did wake him so I'm not surprised he may be grumpy" he rambled on, fixing the couch into a makeshift bed.

HotGuy stood up, carefully stepping around Pearl as he walked over to Grian with a smile. "Oh, I don't mind, he wasn't grumpy at all! He was actually really nice," he said, sitting down onto the couch. It was soft, comfortable enough for a bed. His eyes drooped.

He leaned back, exhaling. Grian was quiet before he sat down on the couch as well, keeping away from HotGuy this time. "I don't understand why you push yourself so much," he stated into the quiet. Scar looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, silently prompting him to continue. "I mean, I always see you on the news, you're always doing something, and now you're even pushing yourself to be friendly to me. I can't really say I've been too welcoming to you."

HotGuy hummed, crossing his legs as he thought of a response, only to find that he had none. His mind was slowing down, even as he tried to form the words and teases playing on his tongue. The silence prevailed. Grian sighed, standing up. "I don't know why you do it when so many people hate you," he said as he gave HotGuy a look before walking away to his bedroom, the door clicking shut behind him.

Scar stared after him, not knowing how to process the words. Malice wasn't anywhere in his words, his tone wasn't venomous, and yet, his chest squeezed. He sighed, shifting to take his legs off. He put them onto their side, taking his visor off after.

He got comfortable, moving to obscure his face as much as possible. His phone rested under the pillow, it's shape a comfortable familiarity. Even if he didn't need much comfort. The whole apartment and everything in it smelled liks Grian. His things were just as soft as his scarf.

Before he knew it, he was falling asleep.

-----

A gentle hand tangling through his hair is what woke him up. He groaned, shifting to lean into the touch, pleasure racking up his spine as the person's nails gently scratched his scalp. He was so tired still.

"Morning, HotGuy," Grian greeted, Scar's brain catching up. He froze, body tensing before Grian moved away. He was silently thanking himself for making sure he had slept in the most obscuring way possible as he slowly shifted, reaching out to grab his visor. "Did you sleep well?"

HotGuy sat up, stretching as he gave an affirmative nod. "I did, yeah, thanks for letting me crash here," he flashed Grian a smile, even as he watched his friend with his back to him, toddling around his kitchen as he got stuff out for breakfast.

When no reply came, Scar used his time to get ready to leave. He looked at all the unread messages from Cub, cringing at the panic he accidentally caused his friend before confirming he was still alive and just crashed while out on patrol and that he's fine. It was pretty late by now anyway, he was sure Cub was at the lab, working away at something while checking for any sign of Scar.

He can handle that later. He grabbed his legs, putting them on, waiting for them to purr to life. He stood up, turning to head towards the door. "What do you want for breakfast?" Grian asked, making him pause and look at him with confusion. Grian still had his back to him as he struggled to grab something from the top shelf, standing on his tip toes. He huffed, moving to grab a chair.

HotGuy took a few quick, big steps, easily reaching the jam that Grian was trying to grab, putting it onto the counter. There was quiet between them as Scar blushed, feeling a bit too embarrassed. "Uh, sorry," he laughed quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought you'd kick me out."

Grian stared at him, raising an eyebrow before motioning to his dining table. Scar sat down, watching as Grian got a few more things before setting the table, sitting opposite to Scar. It felt awkward, but Grian didn't seem to mind, simply fixing himself some bread with butter and jam.

"Are you going to eat, or will you keep looking at me like I personally spat at your mother?" Grian asked before taking a bite of his bread, causing a flush to spread up Scar's neck before he grabbed a piece of bread as well, taking a different jam. He didn't need butter for this, probably.

The quiet after was comfortable, kind of. Scar didn't feel as awkward, glad that Grian pressed him to stay. He felt extremely hungry now that some food hit his stomach. Another bread slice disappeared off the table before his mind calmed and he looked at Grian again. His eyes strayed over his form, ignoring the way butterflies slid against his stomach as his gaze stuck to the exposed skin of Grian's neck and collar bone.

His shirt just about cut it off at his shoulder, right where Scar shot him. Nausea brimmed at him suddenly, and he placed his bread down, swallowing as he tried to stop the panic that swelled under his skin. He took a breath, words dying in his throat. He clenched his jaw before averting his eyes, his heart beating aggressively in his chest.

Grian set his own food down, looking at him with expectation, picking up the fizzling start of a conversation. He waited, simply looking at HotGuy, leaning against his hand as he tapped his finger against the table. The sound was calming. Scar took a breath, trying to let the nerves pass.

"I'm sorry, about your shoulder," he started, tears pricking his eyes. A shuddery breath passed over him and he clenched his hand, trying to keep his voice steady as he smiled, forced and weak. "I didn't want to hurt you, and," he trailed off, voice choking, breaking. His fist shook as he dug his nails into his palm, trying to focus on the pain.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he repeated, trying to find the thread he was going for. He couldn't find it. "I didn't want to hurt you," he could feel his expression shift, staring intently at Grian's shoulder. His face was screwed up, trying to ignore the tears that were gathering under his visor. "I didn't want to."

His voice was reedy, high pitched. He took a breath, only to have a sob crack his vocal cords. He pushed his plate aside, standing up to turn away, trying to calm his breathing. His ears rung and he tried to place himself in his mind. His feet were moving, hands grasping for his phone. Noises seeped past his ears, in one and out the other.

A hand was placed on the small of his back and tears flowed from his eyes, sticking to the inside of his visor, spilling past it. Grian guided him to sit onto the couch, sitting next to him. The touches were small, uncertain. Like he wasn't sure what was allowed, what wasn't. Grian rubbed his back softly, barely ghosting along his body

"It's okay," Grian soothed quietly, taking one of Scar's hands, rubbing the middle of his palm. "Take deep breaths, okay? I'm not," he hesitated, swallowing down whatever words he wanted to say before he continued. "I'm not mad at you. I," he trailed off again, obviously at a loss for words. Scar's heart hurt.

He bent forwards, taking his hand from Grian's to wrap around his knees. The compression was satisfying, pressing against his struggling lungs as sobs continued to force their way out. "I'm sorry," he struggled to get out, voice breaking. "I didn't mean to," he stumbled over his words, losing the thread for a second. "I didn't want to cry."

Grian sighed, getting up. Scar felt himself spiral, words being spat at him. He curled up more, trying to focus on the feeling of everything outside rather than everything inside. It felt difficult. Everything was pressing in on him internally, his head pounding with a raging headache that came out of nowhere. Was it anger? Was it sadness? Everything in him blurred.

A wet rag being put on the nape of his neck dragged him out of his thoughts. He tensed, his mind clearing at the cold water. He sat up, hand holding the wet rag as the last of his tears slipped down his cheeks, gathering at the edge of his visor. Grian stood by his side, nervously fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Better?" He asked, giving HotGuy an unsure smile.

Scar took a deep breath, feeling his lungs expand without trouble. His thoughts were quieter, still hurried and muddled, but clearer. Less crowded. He nodded. Grian exhaled with what seemed like relief, turning around to walk back to the dining table to get Scar's abandoned food. Instead of focusing on the exposed skin, teetering just close enough to see the scar that he left, he took the wet rag to wipe himself down, relishing the coolness.

He placed it onto the coffee table as Grian sat back down next to him, handing him his plate. "Thank you," he mumbled, picking his breakfast back up to continue eating.

The silence was loud this time around. It rung in HotGuy's ears, mocking him. "You know," Grian broke the silence, gently bumping his shoulder against Scar's. "I don't blame you for shooting me." The statement felt wild to his ears. Grian wasn't mad. He wasn't blaming him. He stared at him, bewilderment wrapping him up in a bow.

"You don't?" Scar asked quietly, face going slack from the relief that flooded his body. "I was so worried you would be," he said with a laugh, leaning back. It felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders. "I thought I had to make it up to you."

Grian snorted out a laugh, covering his mouth while muttering an apology before he started laughing again. "Make it up? For what? Saving my dumbass?" He leaned against HotGuy as he laughed, his head dipping to rest against Scar's shoulder. "No, man, I'm super thankful you did what you did. I know it was tough, that parasite was difficult to get rid of!"

HotGuy exhaled with a chuckle, relishing in the closeness that Grian suddenly allowed. "How was it? If I can ask," he leaned back, taking a bite of his bread. "And how are your," he trailed off, motioning to Grian's back. Grian tensed slightly as he sat up, rubbing his shoulder.

He shrugged, shifting his shirt to tug the collar down, easily showing Scar where his arrow oh so easily pierced through his body. "It hurt, that I can remember. But hey, I got a killer scar from it," he joked, angling his body so Scar can easily see. He was avoiding the wing question. Scar decided to let him, his hand coming up hesitantly before gently touching the scar.

Grian tensed with a sharp inhale, his jaw clenching before he unclenched it, forcing slow and even breaths. Scar knew what panic attacks can be like, so he quickly withdrew his hand, the feeling of Grian's soft skin against his hand immediately staining his mind. He wanted more.

"I heard you needed to stay in hospital a while, prof," HotGuy said instead, giving Grian an easy out as he focused on finishing his food, wanting to be out of Grian's hair by now. "I hope recovery wasn't too bad, my arrows can be pretty bad."

Grian hummed, shaking his head. "No, don't worry, it wasn't too bad. My best friend, Mumbo, did joke about how now I have one secret achievement on my bucket list unlocked: Get Shot By HotGuy," he joked, his hands making sparkling motions as Scar laughed, shaking his head as he leaned forwards, putting his plate down.

"I'm glad you're okay, professor," Scar said, smile genuine as he looked at Grian, his chest warming. The feeling was intoxicating, being so guilt free. Still, something irked him in his mind. He wanted more.

For now, though, he has enough, with Grian at his side, seemingly comfortable with Scar as who he's meant to be. What a dream.

--------

Cub was going to kill him.

After he left Grian's apartment, he knew he was dead meat. He read back all of Cub's texts in detail, curled up on Grian's passenger seat. Grian had offered to drive him, and honestly? He didn't want to stop hanging out with Grian.

Still, Cub was going to kill him.

His phone buzzed with text messages as Cub finally got on his breakfast break. Worried chastises and questions flooded his phone and he smiled as he read them all. That is, until a call sounded and he quickly silenced the tone.

"Wow, someone's really worried for you, huh?" Grian joked before gasping and covering his mouth, stopping at a red light. "Oh, no, I'm a fucking dumbass. I forgot," he bit his words off, glancing at HotGuy with a look. "I wanted to give you something."

Scar turned to him, humming. "Yeah? What was it?" He asked as he declined another call from Cub, telling him he can't talk right now, but he will as soon as he gets home, promise. Cub sent a frowny face.

"You'll see. Do you, uh," Grian trailed off, his face slightly flushed before he took a breath and continued. "Are you free tomorrow? I have time in the afternoon, after my school day ends." Scar blinked as he looked Grian, his brain not quite catching up as Grian continued to drive, turning into his neighbourhood. "If you're free, I mean, or you can drop by another time, you know where I live now."

The hurried tone was cute. The slight blush that creeped up Grian's neck was even cuter. Scar wanted to make him flush like that more. He swallowed, quickly looking away. "Uh, yeah, I can. Do you, uh," he laughed nervously, tapping his fingers against the back of his phone. "Do you wanna meet up at the park by your house?"

Grian hummed in affirmation, pulling over to let HotGuy out. "Yeah that sounds, uh, nice. I'll probably have plans with a coworker later," he trailed off, face now blazing as he seemed to realize what he said. Scar got out, bow and quiver held tightly in one hand while the other held his phone. "I'm excited to see you tomorrow," Grian quickly added.

Scar smiled, his heart squeezing with affection. "I'll look forward to it," he said, closing Grian's car door, watching as he pulled away and drove off.

His phone buzzed with a call. Ah, right. He was dead meat.

-----

Cub stayed on the phone with him for an hour or two after. Not that Scar minded, he actually enjoyed the company as he decompressed and got something proper to eat. Even as Cub went back to work, the background noise was comforting.

When Cub had to hang up, going into a meeting that had a strict NDA surrounding it, Scar had been curled up on his couch, Jellie in his lap while watching some show. A missed call pinged up in his notifications, followed by a few messages from different people. The missed call was from Grian.

Scar raised his eyebrows seeing it. He hadn't left a voicemail, but he had texted Scar. He furrowed his eyebrows, a nauseous feeling prickling at him. Was Grian mad at him? He licked his lips, taking deep breaths as he went through his notifications.

Texts from Jimmy, Cleo and Tango. Normal chatter, with Tango asking if Scar was going on patrol that day. It warmed his heart, settled some of the nerves that rattled around his throat. Tango was normal about him being HotGuy. He could only hope that everyone else could be the same way, if Scar ever retired. The emerald soldiers hadn't made him sign an NDA for what happens when he quits. If he quits.

He replied to Tango, sending a few texts before asking if he had anything to do that day, past classes, and if he wanted to meet up after he was free. He went back to respond to Cleo's message as well, trying to ignore the anxiety that nestled against his skin at the notification of his chat with Grian.

He took a breath. Then another. He stared at their chat, closing his eyes and letting the anxiety roll off him before he clicked it.

'Hey Scar,' the first message read. Nothing indicated Grian was mad at him. Not yet.

'I heard you're free again from Jimmy, I hope you're doing okay. I have today off as well, some weird medical thing the government wants me to take hah.'

'I know last time was kind of awkward, and I'm sorry if it was me.'

'I was the impulse invite after all.'

'But it was fun hanging with you. If you want, and would like to.'

'There's a restaurant near my place we can go to for lunch.'

'And we can invite someone else if you don't wanna come alone.'

'Sorry, you're probably asleep still.'

Scar's face burned. He blinked, looking away from his phone. He took a second, trying to stifle the giddy excitement that burned inside his stomach, the flames licking up his sides. Grian wanted to hang still. He did say blame him and he wanted to hang still.

His phone buzzed and he looked back, texts from Tango coming in, agreeing to hang out after school. Quickly, he asked if he'd be down to grab dinner with Grian and him. He tapped the back of his phone with a flustered smile plastered on his face, waiting for Tango's reply. When a 'Yeah :D' was sent, his excitement doubled. He sent a heart to Tango before switching to his chat with Grian.

'Hi Grian! :D'

'Don't worry, it wasn't you!'

'Cub can get kinda protective if he thinks something is off.'

'Sometimes he's just like that.'

'I have some plans with Tango, but he says it's fine if he tags along with us!'

'So send me that address to the restaurant and I'll ask Tango when he has time and we'll arrange something, yeah?'

'Hope you've been having an amazin' day. <3'

It felt like his skin was about to jump off his body. Grian wasn't mad at him. He didn't blame him. He didn't feel too uncomfortable because of Cub. He still wanted to hang out. Excitement raced through him and he felt the need to stand up, to pace, to jump around, to do anything

Instead, he laid down, kicking his feet after adjusting Jellie so she isn't disturbed. Grian didn't hate him. The thought elevated him, made giddy giggles seep from his throat as he stared at their chat conversation.

Grian didn't hate him.

------

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Grian was running late. Really late, actually. Tango was standing besides Scar, gently patting his back with a smile as he called Grian again, only to end up with his voicemail. He sighed, rubbing his face as he ended the call and dialed again. It rang out.

'Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.'

Scar ended the call, leaning back with a tense sigh. "Maybe he got the time wrong?" Tango mused, worry messily tangled with his expression. "Or he got busy with something and hasn't looked at his phone." The words were half empty, soothing like cold water against a burn. Grian wasn't the type to get so distracted.

"Do you think we should check in with him?" Scar asked, tapping against his phone while chewing the inside of his lip. "I mean, we can't just ditch him, can we?" He fidgeted with his sleeve, eyes trained on the missed calls he's done already. Six by now. Grian wouldn't go so long without calling him back at this point, would he?

Tango rested a hand against Scar's shoulder and he glanced up at him. "Let's go eat, okay?" He said, voice soothing and quiet. Scar glanced out on the street, looking for another second, trying to catch a glimpse of that achingly familiar red before he exhaled, disappointment creeping in as he nodded.

"Yeah," he relented in a strained voice, tears pricking at his eyes. "Let's go eat."

-------

Scar felt distracted the whole meal. He anxiously tapped his phone whenever he could, turning it on and off to check notifications, fear crawling at his throat, his mind whirring with anxiety. He tapped his phone on again, then off again at the sight of no new notifications. Did he do something to upset Grian without meaning to? Did something to happen to Grian after he left? Is it something HotGuy could have helped with?

His thoughts were interrupted when Tango put a hand on his, worry stretching across his features. "You okay?" He asked quietly, gently tapping Scar's hand, getting him to focus on the feeling, the movement. "I know you're worried, but it's okay. Grian is fine, I'm sure, he'll explain when he's free, yeah?" He had a point. Plus, the worry didn't look good on Tango, and Scar hated making his friends worry.

He forced a breath out from between clenched teeth, sliding his phone into his pocket. "You're right, sorry," he apologised, swallowing around the lump that formed in his throat, stress itching his skin. "Do you wanna get some sweets after we finish eating?" He asked, shifting his face to smile at Tango, hoping his fake smile is enough. "My treat!"

Tango let out a soft sigh, smile tugging on his lips. "Only if it's nothing overly sweet like last time!" He chastised playfully, wagging a finger at Scar, the joke on his lips. "I could actively feel my teeth rot when I ate that candy, I swear," he laughed, leaning on his hand as he stuck another forkful of food into his mouth. "So many dentist visits."

Scar groaned loudly, patting at him with a fake annoyed expression. "I covered it! Hush up about it," he laughed as well, a snort sneaking out before he cleared his throat, leaning back. "Besides, it was funny seeing you try it!" It really had been. Tango wasn't a particular sweet tooth person, but Scar was.

Tango's experience with Scar's choice of sweets wasn't the first time Scar saw such a reaction. Cub had been subjected to it for the longest, now far too used to the overly sweet junk Scar liked to eat. Most of his coworkers had been subjected to similar, with Scar always relishing their reactions and the screwed together faces at the too-sweet drop of sugar on their tongue.

The fire elemental just sighed, shaking his head with an infectious smile. "Yeah, okay, let's get something sweet, then. I kinda wanna get some ice cream. It's warming up enough, isn't it?" He asked as he stood up, gathering their stuff as Scar called over a waiter to pay. They made idle chatter as they got ready, laughing at jokes they cracked.

"So, uh, I didn't wanna ruin dinner, but how's your, uhm," Tango trailed off as they headed outside, fiddling with his sleeve for a second, nervous. Scar furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his friend with confusion. "How's your second job going?"

The silence was light, but suffocating after. Scar chewed the question as the hairs on the back of his neck stood. He gripped the wheels of his wheelchair as he simply continued forwards. Tango remained, anxiously, quiet beside him.

"Was that an overstep? I'm sorry, I've just been so worried with everything you've been doing on TV and in the media and stuff," Tango rambled, wringing his hands as words simply seemed to tumble out of his mouth. Scar looked up at him again, trying to find the words desperately wanting to leave his mouth. "There was this stupid, stupid ad with you in it, and just," his friend trailed off again, his jaw clenching.

"You looked so stressed," he said after moment, causing Scar to stop. Tango stopped a step in front of him. The sidewalk was relatively empty. They didn't need to worry about Scar taking up too much space with his wheelchair. "I know you have that stupid, *stupid* visor, but I know your body language," Tango trailed off again, swallowing hard before he kept walking. Scar followed.

There was silence before Tango spoke again, filling the silence. "I just don't want you to be hurt. I know it's inevitable, with your job and all, but at least in, in media," he muttered, fiddling with his sleeve with an indistinguishable expression. "I thought you'd be off better."

Scar sighed, grabbing Tango's wrist before stopping. "Tango, I," he hesitated, the words clumping together on his tongue like mud. He swallowed, taking a deep breath. "I'm doing okay," he chewed out eventually, the words heavy and guilt ridden. They sounded strained, even to his own ears. "Those ads were a while back, I'm not doing any media work right now."

Something like worry morphed across Tango's face before shaping into anxiety before shifting off his face, sliding off like water. "I'm just," he paused for a moment, "I'm just nervous and anxious for you, Scar. I know I'm not meant to know, but," he trailed off, a pained expression coming onto his face before he inhaled shakily. Tears clung to the corners of Tango's eyes.

Tango crouched down, covering his mouth as he tried to keep himself from crying. "What can I do? What can I do for you? You're so overworked, you do so much," he choked out, tears hitting the sidewalk. "Ah, man," Tango sniffled, wiping his tears away. "I don't have antihistamines with me."

Scar just stared. It felt like his emotions were on the back burner. His chest felt empty, his thoughts disconnected from his actions. He was still holding Tango's wrist. He thought his hold was bruising. Did it matter?

He stared as his friend broke down in front of him, leaning into his lap. His hand absently rested on the base of his neck, gently rubbing the skin there as he stared at nothing. Something had disconnected in his mind. He wasn't processing things, he realized. Idly, he thought about Cub. He felt tired.

A hand shook him out of his disconnection. Tango was still sobbing in his lap. Scar's ears rung. Who was holding his shoulder? He blinked, looking to the side to catch sight of Grian, panting and red faced. Had he run?

Words buzzed past Scar's ears, past his recognition. Grian's mouth moved but nothing came out. He stared at him. He wore the scarf. Scar reached out, taking the scarf into his hand, unfurling it. It was soft, so easy to focus on.

He blinked and Tango was out of his lap. The scarf was in his lap instead, softly kneading the material as Tango and Grian talked beside him. Tango was still crying. Grian's hand is still on his shoulder. His hand came up to Grian's, gently holding it in his. He pressed a kiss to his knuckles before turning his hand palm up, nuzzling into it. His shoulders sagged, tension dropping as he inhaled deeply.

Grian gently brushed his thumb against Scar's cheek, and suddenly Grian was kneeling in front of him, his other hand cupping Scar's other cheek. His ears still rung, but Grian was asking him something. His eyes focused on his mouth, but he couldn't quite process what was being said.

Scar exhaled, leaning forwards to wrap his arms around Grian. He rested his head on Grian's shoulder as he compressed himself to hug his friend. He smelled like cologne and sweat, having obviously run. Grian hesitated before wrapping his arms around Scar, tucking his head into Scar's neck.

"I'm sorry for being so late," he muttered against Scar's skin. Scar blinked. The static in his ears had cleared, mostly. His heart was pattering against his chest. "I had to do something really important, and I couldn't push it off," Grian shifted, slowly standing up so neither of them would be as uncomfortable. "I didn't want to skip our dinner."

Scar sighed, closing his eyes as he let himself get raised into a sitting position again. His senses were slowly coming back. The touch was grounding. Tango was still crying, seemingly unable to stop after he started. He shifted closer to Grian, feeling his hand drift up to his hair, pushing through it, just like he had that morning.

"It's okay," he mumbled, feeling Grian tense up. "Sorry you ran in while I'm like this," he squeezed his eyes tight, taking a deep breath before pulling away. Grian looked like a mess, now that he could actually focus. His hair was tousled, his cheeks still a shade of red from having ran from wherever he had been. Sweat glistened at his hairline.

Arms wrapped around him as Tango dove in to hug him, tears staining Scar's skin as he sobbed apology after apology. Scar laughed slightly, wrapping an arm around Tango. "It's okay, Tango, it's okay," he soothed, the warmth of Tango's body uncomfortable but grounding. He felt real. He was real. He wasn't just a body, he reminded himself, as Tango pulled back, wiping more tears from his face.

"Oh, Tango, you're all puffed up," Scar worried his reddened cheeks, his eyes puffy and uncomfortable looking. "Do you have any antihistamines, Gri?" He asked, turning to Grian, who was already fiddling with his pockets to pull a half empty packet out.

-----

It felt like a shuffle to get their plans on straight again. Getting ice cream was a nice distraction after everything, but there was something that had settled into Scar's chest, his stomach. Something that nestled against his mind, pushed and prodded. Tango had been so worried. It felt odd, someone outside of Cub who knew, who could tell what he was feeling, what was going on when he was Hotguy.

When he was meant to be perfect.

He felt floaty for the rest of the interaction, really. He didn't quite participate, his ears never quite reaching the words as fast as they should. Still, he listened and laughed when appropriate, all while focusing on Grian.

He was sat next to him, the scarf back around his neck. Grian was red faced still, slowly seeping out of his skin as he rested in the shade. It was a little too warm for a scarf, but Scar couldn't really blame him. It was soft, and he was sure it smelled like Grian. He looked away at the thought, his face burning as Tango and Grian laughed at something.

It felt nice being like this. An in-between himself and HotGuy. He scooped some of his ice cream into his mouth and looked back at his friends, enjoying the ease they brought.

-------

He couldn't sleep. It had been hours since he got home. He had been staring at CuteGuy's instagram for hours. All the same pictures. There was nothing new.

It was driving him mad.

He sighed, rolling onto his other side. Jellie was curled up on the end of his bed, tail idly brushing against him every now and again. He needed to sleep. He had school tomorrow, finally feeling as okay as he can be to go back to work.

Not like he can put it off for longer. He needed to go back. His students needed him, and he couldn't hide behind this forever.

He sighed, shutting his phone off. He rolled onto his stomach, tucking his arms under his pillow and stared at nothing.

-----

He was dreaming. At least, Scar was rather sure he was dreaming.

Smoke filled his lungs and he was panicking. His hand felt heavy, an undying burden of a bow carved in his palm. He should be used to this by now, but he isn't. An arrow was in his other hand, but he was willing himself to stop.

His chest hurt.

—----

Scar woke up sputtering. His skin was clammy, uncomfortably tight and unsettled. The room was dark, Jellie long gone from her spot at the foot of his bed. He felt suffocated.

He took a deep breath. Then another. His vision was blurry, buzzing with visual snow before he shifted, rolling over in his bed and curling up. His environment was safe. There was no fire, his bow was tucked away and he wasn't going to shoot anyone or anything.

He was safe.

—----

The school day was going by in a bit of a blur. Scar had missed too many days and needed to cram his students just slightly to help them catch up. It was difficult, his mind struggling to keep up with the buzz.

He couldn't stop thinking about Grian, his nightmare, anything and everything. Had he fucked up? He shouldn't have told Tango, especially after the spore incident. He trusted him, but paranoia was starting to wiggle under his skin with discomfort. He couldn't shake it.

Scar stared at his papers, anxiety brewing in his chest. His chest felt tight, an uncomfortable pressure on his sternum. His last class had just filed out, and he had nothing else to do. The concept piled onto him with intensity, something he couldn't understand as to why.

The last few days simply brewed under his skin. They had been good, great even, but now? Now everything was brewing over. His anxiety about CuteGuy was reaching a new high, his face heating as he thought more and more.

Past that one interaction, no one had seen him. His hand, he realized, was gripping his table, knuckles white as nausea brimmed his throat. Had CuteGuy quit? Disappeared off the face of earth once again? What happened?

A hand touched his shoulder. He tensed, heart speeding. “Scar?” A voice, muted by the buzzing in Scar’s ear. “Are you okay?” Heat and warmth. The hand on his shoulder was warming up fast, an uncomfortable sweat breaking out on his skin.

He looked up, finding Tango standing next to him. Concern made a pout form on his face, his flames slowly flicking in the quiet classroom. “Do you need me to get anyone?” The words buzzed in Scar’s ear, half registering. Slowly, he shook his head.

Tango furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the papers on his desk. He sighed, reaching out to start packing up Scar’s things. “Do you want me to call Cub for you?” He asked, putting papers into binders, slowly packing up Scar’s bag for him.

Scar stared at his movements, the buzzing in his head slowly ceasing. He licked his lips, quietly pulling his phone out and handing it to Tango. He smiled at Scar, going to his contact list and calling Cub, placing it on loud speaker before continuing to pack his bag, waiting for the call to ring out.

‘ Hi Scar, what’s up? ’ Cub answered, sounding half distracted and half concerned. ‘ Everything going okay? ’

“Hi Cub,” Tango called, nervousness seeping into his voice. “Uh, it's Tango, Scar’s coworker. He isn't doing really great, and I'm not too sure what to do,” he trailed off, glancing at Scar who gave him a small smile.

Before Cub could respond, Scar spoke up, voice slightly strained. “I’ll be okay, just,” he hesitated, clearing his throat before continuing. The dead air on the other end made him nervous. “Pick me up, please.”

There was quiet for a second before Cub responded, shuffling clear on the other end. ‘ I’ll be there in 25 minutes. Is that okay? Tango, can you stay with him until then? ’ He asked, a slam of a door following the shuffling clear as day.

Tango nodded, before he quickly responded, stumbling over himself. “Uh, yes! Yes, yes, I can take him to the lounge and we can hang out for a little until you get here, that's fine, right?” He looked over at Scar, who nodded.

His heart was still racing, but the idea wasn't bad. Scar looked away, tuning out the rest of the conversation. Tango hung up, handing Scar his phone back. “Do you want me to wheel you to the lounge?” He asked, grabbing Scar’s bag.

Scar shook his head, easily wheeling himself from his desk. “No, thank you, I’ll,” he paused for a second, staring at the door before taking a breath. “I’ll be okay.”

Tango nodded, turning and leading Scar out of the classroom.

—---

The lounge room was surprisingly full, a lively buzz from a long day. Cleo was chatting with Mumbo, while Ren was showing Jimmy the play for the next term. Grian was talking with Bdubs in a quiet voice, sitting near their desks.

Tango went to join Ren and Jimmy, leaving Scar to acclimate himself into a group as he wished. Instead, he tucked himself to his desk, watching his friends chatter, letting the noise fill his mind. The blankness was refreshing, a gentle lull compared to the heavy buzz from a few minutes ago.

He pulled his phone out, deciding to simply mess around with it instead. He glanced over at Grian and Bdubs, his thoughts whirring before he opened his chat with Grian.

‘ Hi Grian. ’

‘ I feel kinda crappy so I'm not gonna go over. ’

‘ But I wanted to say hi still. :D ’

Grian pulled his phone out as it buzzed in his pocket, Bdubs enthusiastically telling him about something or other. A smile lit up Grian’s face and he glanced over to Scar, a mischievous glint in his eyes that Scar desperately missed.

He excused himself from Bdubs, standing up from his seat to walk over to Scar. Mild panic lit in his stomach, a smile freezing on Scar’s face as Grian sat down next to him. “Hi,” Grian greeted, a pleased smile on his face.

A smile broke out on Scar’s face as well, warmth easing the panic that flooded him. “Hi,” he replied, leaning against his wheelchair’s armrest. “You doing okay? Haven't seen you much today, sorry about that.” In truth, Scar had avoided Grian. After yesterday, he felt quite embarrassed and wanted some breathing room.

Grian hummed, leaning against his hand as he nodded. “Yeah, I'm okay, don't worry about it. It's been busy,” he laughed slightly, shrugging. “I was mostly worried for you, honestly. After yesterday,” Grian trailed off, biting his lip. “Well, I want to make sure you're okay.”

The statement made his stomach drop, excitement coursing through his veins. Grian wanted to make sure he was okay? Really? The smile that grew onto his face was flustered, a blush creeping up his neck.

“I'm perfectly fine. Mostly bummed I couldn't make any plans with you,” he laughed lightly, scratching the back of his neck as he looked away, his stomach fluttering. He really had been disappointed, his need to be near Grian still as alive as before.

Grian laughed himself, a blush on his cheeks before he looked away as well, covering his mouth for a moment before looking back. “I, uh,” Grian faltered, biting his lip before he took a breath and continued. “If you want, we can meet up once or twice a week? And have lunch weekdays? I wouldn't mind, I’d actually love it.”

Scar considered for a moment, doing mental math. He can fit in a few free hours for Grian in-between HotGuy stuff. He definitely can manage that. A radiant smile broke onto his face, and giddiness finally caught up with him.

“Yeah! I’d love that a lot, I’d really appreciate hanging with you!” He exclaimed, loving the adoring laugh that Grian gave. “Okay, do you want to like, hang at yours? Mine? At a park? Somewhere else?”

It was easy to slide into the conversation, making plans and comparing schedules to figure out when it’d be best to meet up every week. Cub joined them at one point, chiming in with his own comments as to when Scar would be available.

They decided on every Saturday, afternoon with variable places. By the time Scar was heading to Cub’s car, he was babbling to Cub about their future plans, and then moved to the fact he’ll be visiting Grian as HotGuy as well, because he wanted to meet up.

“I'm glad you feel well,” Cub said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before starting the car, listening with a smile.

—-----

It was late evening when Scar finally got around to visiting Grian. It had been a long patrol, his anxiety spiking and falling in continuous strikes. Still, the concept of visiting Grian made it easier.

HotGuy put on a confident smile, jogging over to the park they agreed to meet at. No one was around, past a few strolling civilians who gave an excited wave and moved on. Scar sighed, letting his shoulders drop as he sat down onto the bench they usually met at.

The day was slowly cooling, a nice contrast to the previous warmth. His patrol had put a damper on his mood, a heaviness layered on his shoulders that wasn't there previously. He was excited to crawl into bed and simply sleep.

A few minutes went by with Scar enjoying the quiet, the slowness, before a pair of footsteps slowly walked up. HotGuy sighed, putting on a smile before turning to the sound, opening his eyes with his mouth already open to greet whomever it was, only to see Grian.

“Oh,” he said quietly, the smile dropping immediately. “Hi professor,” he greeted, a gentle smile on his face instead as he sat down. Grian had a box in his hand, fiddling with the string he had used to tie it together.

Grian smiled at him nervously, glancing away after. “I'm glad you made it,” he said with some curtness before thrusting the present at Scar, staring ahead with intensity. “For you, that's what I meant to give you yesterday.”

HotGuy straightened his back, shifting as he took the box gingerly. Grian stood up after, and briskly walked away. HotGuy stared after him, letting him go. This was obviously quite important, to a point he was too nervous to watch him open it.

HotGuy tapped his foot for a moment before getting up, jogging after him. “Professor, wait!” He called, catching up with Grian easily. He caught his wrist gently, catching the annoyed look that Grian plastered on hia face. He quickly let go.

“I just,” he hesitated, suddenly feeling nervous. “I wanted to know if you’d like to meet up every week? Maybe every afternoon or so? I’d like to spend more time with you, professor,” he trailed off, nervously fidgeting with the box.

Grian looked at him, a stubborn blush on his neck before he nodded. “Uh, yeah, that,” he stumbled, clearing his throat before continuing. “Yeah, that sounds great, honestly. We can discuss details tomorrow?” He questioned, receiving an enthusiastic nod from Scar.

With that, he smiled slightly, turning and walking off, leaving Scar with the present in hand.

—---

Scar didn't open the present until he was all ready for bed. The box rested in between his legs, nervously fiddling with the ribbon. He took a breath, then another and another. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. It was just a present.

He swallowed nervously, his phone buzzing to his right. Cub was texting him, asking about future plans. He took a second to calm down, respond to his best friend and focus again. Gently, he unwrapped the box, the ribbon falling away quite easily.

Inside, in neat wrapping, was the scarf. Nestled in it was a bottle of cologne and a note. With his heart pattering, Scar picked the note up. It read:

‘ HotGuy,

I'm not dumb. I know you only gave the scarf back because it didn't smell like me anymore. I'm honestly flattered. So, because I do truly want you to have it, here. A bottle of my cologne and the scarf.

Your favourite professor,

Grian X. Solidarity. ’

Scar couldn't stop smiling.

—--

“ New voicemail received at 10:30 AM. Press 1 to play.”

' Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably .'

"Hey Grian, it's Scar."

—

“ One new voicemail received at 9:45 AM. Press 1 to play. ”

' Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. '

"Hi G, it's Scar!"

-----

“ One new voicemail received at 18:04 pm. Press 1 to play. ”

' Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. '

"Heyyy Grian, it's Tango-!"

"And Scar!!!"

----

“ One new voicemail received at 1:20 AM. Press 1 to play. ”

' Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. '

"Hey G, it's Mumbo, I'm borrowing Scar's phone, can you pick us up?"

----

“ One new voicemail received at 14:04 pm. Press 1 to play. ”

' Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. '

"Hey me, I lost my phone, listen to this again when you find it."

—----

“ One new voicemail received at 19:03 pm. Press 1 to play. ”

' Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. ’

“Hi professor, it's HotGuy.”

—---

“ One new voicemail received at 3:47 AM. Press 1 to play. ”

‘ Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. ’

“Hey Grian, it's Scar.”

—---

The call was ringing out. Scar was idly messing with Cub’s bracelet, his own clinking with charms as he waited for Grian’s voicemail to answer.

‘ Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. ’

He perked up, the late autumn sun streaming into the café with a soft, gentle warmth. “Hey Grian, it's Scar,” he chirped, earning a huffed laugh from Cub. “I wanted to call you to arrange a meet up so we can discuss plans for winter stuff! I know it seems a bit far away, but I wanna have plans down.”

Scar chattered away into his phone, happily laying out details for Grian to respond to later on. Their routine, this entire comforting situation, had been established oh so long back. Just as they had discussed months ago, they met up once a week outside of work and made long term plans as Grian and Scar.

Even as a second phone took up space in Scar’s life, nestled between HotGuy and himself, it was an easy adjustment. They texted daily. Called almost nightly. HotGuy was a staple person in Grian’s life by now, as was Scar. It made his head reel, his feelings just as strong as they had been before.

Although, his hands were fuller than before. CuteGuy was officially back, and their dynamic had shifted… Quite drastically, if Scar is allowed to assume. The teasing was still there, a never ending chase, but it was softer. CuteGuy was more pliant, and sometimes, Scar caught him staring with a look, soft and giving.

He didn't let himself get carried away on it, choosing to give most of his attention to Grian, keeping a more cordial relationship with CuteGuy after. Though, sometimes, in moments where CuteGuy was closer, more soft, more available, Scar caught a glimpse or two of a certain scar on his shoulder.

He hasn't asked about it. He isn't sure if he wants to.

Now, he pressed to end the voicemail, leaning into Cub with a satisfied smile. “I'm really excited for our plans,” he stated with a lovestricken tone, giggling as Cub wrapped an arm around him, squeezing.

“You’ve been insufferable since you’ve gotten closer to your boyfriend,” Cub teased, earning a loud exclamation and a slight elbow from Scar. “Okay, okay! Though, really, I am happy for you, Scar,” he relented, laughing as he pressed a kiss to Scar’s head.

Scar softly pushed him away, babbling nonsense to interrupt Cub’s chatting. “It's nothing serious, shush your face!” He exclaimed, shifting to sit back up, picking his cup of tea up and giving it a sip.

In reality, it tormented Scar. Quite a lot.

He hadn't told Cub about it, but after some time, Scar had stopped dreaming about CuteGuy all together. It had been replaced solely by Grian. Soft lips pressed against his while in his uniform, calling him by his name, nestled into his side while they watched a movie, anything.

It tortured him. The first time he realized, he sobbed for hours on end, as if the dream personally murdered his feelings. He didn't want to be in love with Grian. He couldn't be. He couldn't have Grian.

After all, why would Grian want someone like him? Wanting HotGuy was understandable, but him? Scar? Who would want him ?

It was a difficult situation, in short. Yet, he still slept with the scarf. He bought multiple bottles of Grian’s cologne, just to have his scent with him and on the soft fabric, unable to sleep without it now.

He wasn't confident it’d get better. Sometimes, feelings died, but he couldn't let them die. He loved this feeling, of being wanted and loved, the illusion of being someone's, even if it was impossible. He was Grian’s, in his mind, as HotGuy and as Scar.

So, he never stopped making plans. He never said no to seeing Grian as HotGuy. Because of this, most of his time was spent with Grian. Watching movies as HotGuy, going to places as Scar, cooking and baking together as both, anything in-between.

He knew it was foolish. He didn't care.

He doubted he’d ever bring it up with Cub. His friend looked so happy for him, he couldn't bring himself to say anything. So he didn't.

Instead, he told Cub all about their next trip, cracking jokes to make him laugh, in hopes he could ignore the truth for just a bit longer.

—-----

Scar hoped his patrol would end soon. His back ached and he had a pretty bad headache. He leaned against a building’s rooftop railings, looking over the city with a small smile. He would be heading over to Grian’s place soon, nestle in for an hour or two to unwind and then leave.

His days had been spent like that for a while now. It was always great, they always did something together. He was hoping Grian wouldn't mind changing plans to something quieter.

Thinking of it, he fumbled his second phone out of his bag-pocket. He should probably text or call Grian to let him know ahead of time. He tapped the railing as he hovered over the call button, glancing around before pressing it.

The call rang once, twice, only for it to quickly go to voicemail.

‘ Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably. ’

Scar smiled, moving to turn his back on the city, sliding down against the railing to sit. It felt nice. “Hi professor,” he said after the beep, letting out a sigh of relief. “I just wanted to call ahead of time and let you know that I feel kinda crappy today, and that something quiet would be a better fit for our plans.”

The sound of wings made him tense, glancing to where they came from, only to see CuteGuy land nearly soundlessly on the rooftop as well. A blush immediately heated HotGuy’s cheeks as he looked away, continuing his voicemail. “Uh, something like a movie, maybe? We could watch a Ghibli movie? Or a Disney film? Anyway, I gotta go, uh, bye Grian,” he quickly ended the voicemail, struggling to get up and place his phone back into his bag at the same time.

CuteGuy was leaning against the railing with a grin, his head tilted. “Got plans?” He teased, pushing himself off the railings to step closer to HotGuy, who laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You could say that,” he shrugged, glancing between CuteGuy and someplace else, his heart pattering from nervousness. “It's, uh,” he sputtered as CuteGuy leaned into him, face so close to his, smile mischievous.

“It's?” The vigilante prompted before leaning back, grinning. “Do you have a date?” He joked, stepping around HotGuy to circle him, poking his side. “If you do, that's adorable.”

HotGuy rolled his eyes, smile on his face as he swatted CuteGuy’s hand away. “No, as a matter of fact, birdie, I'm hanging with a close friend of mine. He means a lot to me,” he caught CuteGuy’s wrist as he went to poke HotGuy again, forcing him to take a spin. “So, I’d appreciate it if you got to the chase so I can finish my patrol.”

CuteGuy laughed, flexing his wings as he backed up. “Oh, really? Not enough time for me now?” He teased, as he usually did. These conversations were a norm now. A fun norm, honestly. Even if their previous dynamic was also fun, HotGuy honestly preferred these.

It made him feel like a person.

HotGuy stretched, shifting his footing as he gave CuteGuy a smug grin, getting into a starting sprint position. “You could say that, birdie. You get a ten second head start. Sound fair?” He asked, flexing his fingers as his eyes fixed onto CuteGuy’s stance.

CuteGuy laughed, backing up to the railing once again. “Make it 15. You're gonna eat my dust, pretty boy,” he teased, grabbing the railing and hopping onto it, his heels dug firmly into it.

HotGuy laughed himself, shifting, waiting. “You’re on.”

CuteGuy jumped, and the chase was on.

—---

Scar stretched, exhaustion seeping into his bones as he headed over to Grian’s place. CuteGuy had won their chase, as he usually did, having departed a few minutes after some chatter. Thirty minutes later, Scar had been on his way to Grian’s apartment.

He was so excited to simply curl up on Grian’s couch and just relax. As usual, though, he sat down on the bench in the park nearby, more or less melting into the wood with a relieved sigh.

The now, quite honestly, chilling cold was refreshing. It curled into his skin, sapping the overwhelming heat from his body. He knew he’ll start needing to wear Grian’s scarf while out as HotGuy more and more, before switching to his cold weather clothes.

Still, the cold was enjoyable for now. He wouldn't deny himself something so simple and quiet, no matter how many times Cub and Grian chastised him for it.

He sat and waited, the quiet a reprieve from his usually loud thoughts. Still, as footsteps approached, he didn't open his eyes, simply moving slightly, resting his arm over the bench, waiting for the person to sit down.

Grian sat right next to him, pressing his body against HotGuy’s. A gentle kiss was pressed to his cheek as HotGuy’s arm wrapped around Grian, leaning his head against the professor’s. “Hi,” HotGuy greeted, pressing his own kiss to Grian’s head.

Grian melted into his side, his warmth already infectious, addicting. “I missed you,” he mumbled, tucking his face into HotGuy’s side. “Are you doing okay? Is your head okay?” He asked, slightly muffled before shifting away, standing up to pull HotGuy up as well, tugging him towards his apartment.

“I had a bit of a chase with CuteGuy,” HotGuy started explaining, letting himself be tugged. “It kind of made it worse, but also helped. I think I need a painkiller or something,” he joked lightly, only receiving a worried look. HotGuy gave Grian a soft smile, trying to ease his worries.

“Alright, I'm gonna make you some tea, give you an ibuprofen and then we can watch a movie and you’ll spend the night,” Grian rambled, pulling his keys out as they neared his apartment building. “Sound good?” He glanced back at HotGuy, who simply nodded.

The radiant smile that Grian gave him was enough for all the worry and hassle.

—---

It was late by the time Grian fell asleep. He was tucked into HotGuy’s side, wrapped in a blanket with HotGuy having his own. HotGuy had his arm wrapped firmly around him, his head resting on Grian’s as he watched the last of their film. The Secret Life of Arriety was one of Grian’s favourites.

He sighed, kissing the top of Grian’s head before shifting, laying down onto the couch with Grian laying next to him. He quietly thanked whatever God made Grian decide to get a wide couch.

Grian curled into him, head resting in the crook of his neck. Scar sighed, letting the tension melt from his muscles as he took his visor off, knowing he’ll need to put them back on later. For now, he tucked his head into Grian’s, enjoying the normalcy of it. He pretended he was simply himself. That Grian knew.

That Grian loved him for him, and not HotGuy.

The fantasy was one he submerged himself often into now, wishing that the affection his friend gave him as his alter ego could be simply for him , and not someone else.

He wasn't HotGuy, after all. HotGuy was perfect. He wasn't. It was simple, really, but it still stung.

Still, as Grian shifted in his arms, breath gently hitting his neck, Scar knew he wouldn't change a single thing. If Grian was happy, so was he.

Gently, he pressed a kiss to Grian’s forehead, put his visor back on and closed his eyes.

—----

“Are you sure you have to leave?” Grian asked during breakfast, anxiously holding his cup of tea. “I mean, it’s the weekend, right? Surely you musn’t have that many plans,” he babbled, shifting himself in his seat as HotGuy ate, giving him a smile.

“You know how it goes, professor,” he shrugged, ignoring the frown that deepend Grian’s features, worry lines drawing themselves between his eyebrows. “I have patrol, and I know you have plans with your co-worker, don’t you? Scar, was it?”

It was odd pretending he didn't know about plans he himself made with Grian. Still, hearing about the excitement that infected Grian’s tone when telling him was more than enough encouragement to act as a good listener.

Grian pouted, still, putting his cup down for scratch idly at the dining table. “Well, yeah, but,” he trailed off, chewing the words on his tongue. “Can't you come along? I'm sure Scar would love to meet you, and I'm sure he’d agree to change locations so you wouldn't have to worry about the public.”

The suggestion made Scar pause mid bite. A chill ran through him, and he made himself continue his actions before he hummed, acting as if he simply paused to think. In reality, it was a haudy suggestion. Not that Scar minded, the affection and need for his attention was always welcomed, but this was different.

This was separation anxiety.

The thought ticked itself off in his head, as if setting off a snowball effect, gears turning as they shifted into place. He knew Grian was anxious when it came to people he loved. He knew hero work could cause intense anxiety as is, but he didn't expect it from Grian.

Though, he mused, he should have expected it. He’s been spending so much time with him as HotGuy, it was impossible to not be worried for him, Scar guessed. Still, he couldn’t indulge Grian, not this time.

“I’m sorry, professor, but I simply can't. I have other commitments, as much as it pains me,” he stated simply, standing up as he finished his food. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to Grian’s forehead, which seemed to subdue him a tiny bit.

“I promise to swing by at the end of the day, okay?” He walked over to the sink, placing his dishes into it. “I can’t spend the night, though, I have stuff to do tomorrow.” It was a lie. Though, half a lie. He had hero work, but also, Grian’s birthday was coming up.

Scar was in charge of planning a surprise party for him, which he did with plenty delight. He had many things to go over, and double check with the others, even if it’d only take half an hour tops.

Grian stepped beside him, leaning into him. “Can you call me when you're done with patrol?” He asked, leaning up to kiss HotGuy’s cheek. “I worry for you.”

HotGuy just smiled at him, leaning against him for a moment, letting the love and comfort hang in the air.

—----

CuteGuy walked beside him, a confident smile on his face as he chatted with HotGuy about whatever. It was nothing, really, but the chatter was appreciated. It was nice to act distracted by what CuteGuy was saying, even though Scar’s gaze was hard pressed on CuteGuy’s shoulder.

He wasn't sure why he decided to think about the scar now. He had seen it months ago. He knew what it meant, knowing only his arrow could leave an exit would like that. His stomach churned with nausea.

Why did he have to think about it now?

CuteGuy waved his hand in front of his face, a small frown on the avian’s features- Grian ’s features- “Earth to HotGuy, you there?” He asked, standing still. His shoulder was angled away. Scar couldn't see the scar anymore.

He blinked. HotGuy smiled.

“Sorry, birdie, a bit distracted today,” he shrugged, knowing the smile was fake and plastic. Anxiety squeezed his lungs. Grian was CuteGuy. CuteGuy was Grian. Why did he have to think about it now ?

HotGuy clenched his jaw, staring forwards. The roof was slowly coming to an end, and they’d have to hop over to the next one, like usual. Like routine. Grian frowned next to him, now standing still as HotGuy kept taking steps.

“I know something's wrong,” he stated quietly, making HotGuy pause in his steps, turning towards the avian. The taste in his mouth soured. He looked away, adjusting the scarf that was wrapped tightly around his neck.

Maybe he shouldn't have dropped home to get it first. Maybe that's why he thought about it then, why he decided to notice, to stare. He shouldn't have.

CuteGuy stood in the same spot, worry on his face. HotGuy swallowed, taking a step towards him, then another. He leaned down, kissing his head. “You have somewhere to be soon, don't you?” He asked quietly, voice wavering. “You have to meet up with your co-worker, professor.”

With that, HotGuy backed away, turning and vaulting over the buildings edge, leaving CuteGuy standing there, shock on his face.

—---

Grian cancelled last minute. Scar had cut his patrol short after the interaction, going straight home while mentally panicking about fucking up.

After all, he had known about Grian being CuteGuy for months now. Why did he decide to freak out about it now? Why would he break their near perfect routine?

The answer was relatively simple, in honesty. He wanted more with Grian. He didn't want to think about it, actually quite the opposite, he wanted to actively avoid it. Still, he knew that’s why things boiled over.

He wants Grian. It pained him.

Now, Grian cancelled last minute, and he was left to worry about the fact he may have irreversibly fucked up.

He pushed a hand through his hair, staring at the text message he received. A simple ‘I can't come, sorry,’ before he went offline.

Scar fucked up. It made him sick to his stomach.

He put his phone away, clenching his jaw tight before he covered his face, leaning back.

He fucked up so badly.

—-----

Scar couldn't sleep that night, or the next. He simply stared at CuteGuy’s feed on instagram. Pictures of him on patrol, or actually out with him, as HotGuy, albeit taken from afar.

Grian hadn't texted him, either. He would know if he had, their conversation was open in a different tab on his phone, and he kept tabbing in every few seconds. He had to know.

Mumbo didn't answer him when he asked if Grian was okay. Jimmy didn't, either. It felt like the world was crumbling beneath his feet. He patted around his bed, feeling the soft material of the scarf before bringing it to his face, curling up as he inhaled.

Tears stung his eyes as he shut his phone off. It was late by now, Cub was asleep in his room. He could go and bother him, watch a movie or something, but Cub had work. Scar didn't have anything, as there was some school event students would need to attend outside of school, and teachers were given a free day.

Anxiety ate away at him. His thoughts were slowly starting to pile up from simple questions to asking what happened. He knew, of course he did. He messed up.

He stared at his wall. His lungs hurt, it felt incredibly hard to breathe. HotGuy had messed up. Scar had messed up as someone who was meant to be perfect.

What was he now? What could he be? Is there any way this could work? Was he lost? He felt like it. An endless wave of hopelessness dragged him under a dark depth, unearthly and unnatural.

Hot tears stained his face before he realized it. Strained sobs struggled through his lungs. He failed. Grian hated him now. No, he hated HotGuy. Not like he had previously, either. He wanted to disappear, never show face again.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and hoped it would be so.

—-----

It wasn't so. It was the exact opposite, actually. He stayed awake the whole night, going between strangled sobs and empty stares at his bedroom wall. All his bravado as HotGuy fell between his fingers the moment he messed up. He felt pathetic.

Jellie was curled on his bed, idly purring in her sleep as Scar clutched his scarf and phone, staring at CuteGuy’s instagram. Grian smiled back idly at him, wings covering most of his face. How could he have been so dumb?

It had always been Grian. He had known it when he realized who CuteGuy was. The façade had long faded, and all that was left was his adoration, his love.

He had seen CuteGuy in Grian and Grian in CuteGuy. After a while, they were one and the same, and his co-worker became so much more. The self destruction followed shortly after, he also realized.

He took more shifts, spent less time sleeping, his need to be perfect, to be HotGuy, became constant. Grian liked HotGuy. Scar wanted to be him, forever.

It was unhealthy. He talked to Cub about it. He couldn't stop it.

He dialed Grian’s number, and waited.

It rang once, then twice, then thrice. It went to voicemail.

‘Hey, it's Grian, sorry for not being able to be here to pick up your call! Leave a note after the beep! I'll get back to you later, probably.’

Scar was speechless for a moment after the beep, just staring ahead of himself before he shook it off. “Hi Gri,” he greeted, voice cracked. “Sorry I sound like Hell, I didn't really sleep well today. I, uh, I wanted to check up on you,” he paused, words laying heavy on his tongue. Is this okay? Are you okay? Are we okay? Instead, he said: “You kinda left me on read and, I… I dunno, I'm worried. Mumbo won't.. Uhm,” he trailed off, voice thickening with tears again.

He cleared his throat, hoping it wasn't obvious that his voice shook. “Mumbo won't answer either, and Jimmy hasn't either, and I just,” he stopped again, unsure where he was going with this. Tears slid down his face again, trailing into the side of his face. “I want to be sure you're okay,” he forced out, hanging up immediately after. He sniffled, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand.

Daylight was starting to creep into his room, slowly stretching the shadows resting on his floor. Jellie shifted, meowing as his bedroom door opened, lazily getting up to go greet Cub and leave the room.

Scar didn't turn around. He knew what Cub was likely thinking. Neither said a word as his bed dipped with weight, and Cub rested his hand on Scar’s shoulder blade. Tears kept flowing and he sniffled again, a heavy sob forcing itself out of his throat.

“It's okay,” Cub soothed, rubbing his back comfortingly. “You're alright, Scar, let it out.” Scar kept sobbing, nodding slightly before turning, arms extended. Cub leaned down without hesitation, pulling his friend into a hug.

They stayed like that for a while, with Scar sobbing into Cub’s shoulder with him rubbing Scar’s back, soothingly muttering in Vex. Time ticked by slowly, the sun pulling the shadows longer and longer until mid morning rolled around, and Cub was comfortably late.

Scar had cried himself out by now, simply lulling himself with Cub’s chatter, answering in a mix of Vex and English. He was so tired, and Cub knew that without needing to ask.

“Do you want to come with me to work? You can nap at my desk,” he had asked when Scar had gone quiet, cries soothed. “I took the morning off, I heard you crying all night.”

Scar had just laughed before crying again, emotions on a rollercoaster. It felt like he was just sadness and misery. His head was splitting in half from dehydration and crying. Still, he cried until he couldn't, which was when Cub slowly moved away, hand still soothing Scar.

Getting ready was a chore. Scar’s limbs felt lead ridden, heavy and taxing. Still, he took a shower, brushed his teeth and ate. Cub made him drink at least a full glass of water before doing anything else, which is when they headed to Cub’s car.

The day was a cool one, the sun warm against his face with the wind cold. It was refreshing, considering everything. Even so, it felt like the world shouldn't keep moving. Every step felt impossible, his chest aching with a wave of upsetness over and over.

The car ride was relatively quiet, filled with the music from the radio. Scar’s head was loud. Crackling electricity of thoughts that rushed in and out. He felt hollowed out by his emotions, if that was even possible. He had never screwed up this badly before.

He just had to get through the day.

—--

As it turns out, getting through the day alone wasn't enough. He didn't feel better. Exhaustion ebbed at his thoughts as he finally got home, a thousand more calls and texts to Grian as HotGuy and Scar. Nothing got replied to. Mumbo ignored him, as did Jimmy, leaving him on read.

Did they know? They couldn't have, right? No one knew who HotGuy was, past Cub and the government. Did it matter, in the end? They weren't responding. They knew.

Paranoia pulled and tugged at him, and multiple times, Cub had to stop working to soothe his crying. The spouts never quite lasted long, but everything seemed to make him weepy and cry. Cub was staying over again, worry clearly written on his face, his entire body honestly.

Cub made him eat, and bathe, even if he didn't need it. He fell asleep on the couch, half eaten plate of food in his lap, only to wake up half an hour later, crying.

The routine was quick to set itself up. Scar fell asleep for a short amount of time, only to wake up not long after. Neither of them got much sleep because of it, but Cub didn't complain.

He called Scar out of work first thing in the morning, telling a lie that Scar had come down with a bad and infectious stomach bug and needed to stay home. By then, Scar was too tired to argue.

He simply reached for Cub again, and cried onto his shoulder until he fell asleep.

—--

This time, he woke up five hours later. His head pounded, and his phone buzzed next to him in bed. He sat up, patting around for it. The caller ID said ‘unknown.’ He answered.

“Hello?” He asked, voice broken and strained. He didn't sound like anyone he was before, if he had been someone at all.

‘HotGuy?’ Grian’s voice greeted him and his heart stopped. He scrambled around for a second, head in a fumble before reality dropped back onto him, cold and shocking. Grian had avoided him for days. What did it matter?

“Uh, no, sorry. This is Scar speaking. Did you get pranked?” He asked, voice relatively emotionless as he rubbed his eyes, anxiety coiling in his stomach. He moved to the edge of his bed, swinging his legs over with some effort. Grian was quiet on the other line.

It took a second to figure out why. This wasn't his personal phone. Panic bit at him before he swallowed it down, moving his phone away, staring at it. He can save this. He put it back to his ear. “Hello? Are you still there?”

‘I… well, yes, I am, but,’ Grian hesitated, obviously buying the fact that it wasn't HotGuy. Scar’s heart squeezed and he felt dizzy. He wasn't HotGuy. ‘I’m sorry, I had hoped to call a friend, I, uh-’ 

The panic was tangible. Scar couldn't help it, the need to be petty was strong. “Sorry, do I know you from somewhere? This is my second phone, I just recently changed my number for it,” he said, voice achingly sweet and kind. It felt vindictive. “Besides, HotGuy ? Really? The superhero? Sorry, sir, but you definitely got pranked.”

There was silence on the end, and it hurt, but felt good at the same time. Something felt satisfied in his mind, as if he had gotten Grian back for hurting him so much. It felt hollow, empty.

‘I,’ Grian hesitated, not knowing what to say. ‘Okay, I’m sorry, you uh… I'm just sorry, Scar, I'm so sorry.’ His voice broke at the end and Scar knew his resolve wouldn't handle this. It was Grian, after all.

“I know, birdie, I know,” he soothed, not thinking. Did it matter anymore? He doubted it. “I messed up, it’s not your fault,” he ignored the confused noises on the other line, tears brimming at his eyes again. “I’m sorry for not telling you I knew, I just thought… I didn't want things to change, and I'm not,” he paused to laugh, wet and muddled. “I'm not blind, birdie.”

He hung up.

—--

His phones wouldn't stop ringing.

He transferred pictures from his work phone and threw it away. The other, he turned off.

—--

Someone was ringing his doorbell. He had been staring at nothing for a minute before he registered that he was awake.

He felt asleep still. He got up, Cub’s bed a mess. Right, Cub hadn't wanted to leave him alone that night. He missed Cub.

He headed towards the door, checking if he looked presentable enough. His cane wasn't enough, with how much he had cried and how little he had drank, a crutch was better.

He looked like hell in the mirror when he glanced at his hallway mirror. He sighed. It was fine.

The door opened and afternoon light streamed in, making his eyes hurt for a second before a rambling man threw his arms around him, breaking down into tears. Scar staggered, arm coming around him before his brain caught up.

Grian. Grian was in his arms.

Suddenly, he turned into acid. His touch burned and Scar hurriedly stepped back, hating the pained look on Grian’s face. “What do you want, birdie?” He asked, voice raspy. It hurt to talk. He hadn't drank anything in hours.

Grian sniffled, shutting the door behind him before speaking, tears still streaming down his face. “So you are him,” he said, hiccuping before breaking into tears again. “I’m so sorry,” he gasped while bending in half before simply crouching, curling up. His hands threaded into his hair and he sobbed. It was high, reedy, airy.

It was heart breaking. Still, Scar just stared. He felt too weak to do anything. Grian’s tears soaked into his carpet. His shoes creaked and he kneeled instead, hands tugging at his hair. He was babbling, half broken up by incomprehensible half sobs and sniffles.

Scar could make out enough words to know what was going on, though. He was sorry. Horribly so, enough that he couldn't stay a full day at school because he kept crying on and off. He wasn't mad at Scar, he had been shocked.

In retrospect, it might have been so, but he hadn't said it. Neither Jimmy nor Mumbo had said anything. It stung. Still, he took a breath. Shakily, he kneeled down as well, pulling Grian into a hug. He wrapped himself into Scar, sobbing into his shoulder.

Quietly, he started soothing Grian in Vex, half hummed lullabies while rocking him from side to side. Much like how Cub had done for him, he held onto Grian and didn't let go. The collar of his shirt was wet. It didn't matter.

Grian was here, and he wasn't mad. They can talk it through.

—---

The weather was warm, nearly suffocating in the sun by now. A call was dialed on a smashed up, pink phone in the air. It rang a few times before going to voicemail.

'Hello, it's Scar! If you're hearing this, it means you just missed me! Sorry about that, leave me a voicemail and I’ll call you right back!’

“Hi Scar,” CuteGuy said, landing on a rooftop so the wind won't obscure what he says. “So, are we still on for dinner? I know you said you aren't on duty today, but a suspiciously HotGuy looking guy was jumping around on buildings a few minutes from where I landed,” he teased, leaning against the railing, looking out at the city.

“If he happens to be HotGuy, and if he happens to come by our usual meet spot, I may be persuaded to have dinner early, and a lay in tomorrow, since school is letting out,” he turned around, back to the city. In the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a flash of blue and orange and smiled.

He waited for a second before continuing, smile bleeding into his tone. “We can skip our first lesson, can't we? I'm sure our students won't mind more free time,” his voice lowered slightly as HotGuy hopped onto the roof. “Ooh, sorry babe, HotGuy just showed up. I gotta go,” he joked, hanging up his phone, arms already extended.

Scar scooped him up, head dipping to press a kiss to his neck, then his cheek and then to his mouth, happily dipping CuteGuy just slightly. “Hi beautiful,” he greeted, nosing into the top of Grian’s head. “What's this about calling your co-worker on duty?” He teased, settling into something comfortable, something loving.

Grian hummed, arms wrapped around Scar’s neck. “I dunno, he seems plenty handsome and is younger than you,” she teased, pecking him on his lips, earning a laugh from Scar. “And he makes fantastic cookies, might I add, best I’ve ever had. He should give me more for valentine's day.”

Scar just kept laughing, shaking his head lovingly as he kissed his boyfriend again. “He’ll consider it, but he’ll have to listen to your voicemail first.”