Chapter Text
Day Two.
“Iɹɥoulǝ sir? Sir You can’t ʞuʞɹɥo here? Hello? Iɹɥou up!”
The lady spoke loudly directly into Dazai’s face, Causing the brunette to groggily wake up.
“Huh..? What are you on about lady?”
He sluggishly answer-
Oh, she’s pretty.
Without further hesitation, Dazai quickly knelt down on one knee and grabbed the ladies hand.
…
“Would you like to commit a double suicide with me?”
Dazai spoke in Japanese.
Causing the lady to give him a rather weird look..
Dazai cleared his throat
“You want to die, me and you?”
Dazai’s words came out proud and loud…..
Though the women just looked at him in disgust and snatched her hand away,
“Creep…”
She flipped him off before leaving in a rather fast past.
…
“Awe man…”
Dazai sighed as he stood up and quickly remembered the past events.
Shit.
He was still in goddamn America..
Welp!
Time for breakfast!
Honestly, Dazai didn’t know what he was doing.
He should’ve been trying to find a way to get back to Japan,
Not heading to the same shitty convenience store.
…
Oh well!!
*Ding ding*
The door to the convenience store made a small bell sound as he entered.
He glanced over at the cashier... It was the same one from last night...
That poor cashier.
He was slumped over the counter, two cups of coffee next to him,
Poor Americans.
…
‘What the hell is a war-head.’
Dazai thought to himself curiously, staring at the bright green weirdly packaged candy before spotting some packaged donuts,
Bingo.
He grabbed the box of donuts, they came with two each, one chocolate one glazed.
Good enough for him!
…
“That’ll be.. 4.87$”
The cashier said sluggishly… Dazai wondered how long it's been since the poor guy got some sleep…
‘4.87.. So.. five bills?’
Dazai pulled out the stolen wad of cash.
He shuffled through it for a second before grabbing a five dollar bill,
Desperately hoping he got it right.
…
He exited the store, holding his prize in hand.
…
Back to a beloved bench, cause what else is he to do at this point.
He practically inhaled the donuts, damn they were good-
Hey what the hell!?
The raccoon snickered and stuck out his tongue, holding half of Dazai’s chocolate donut.
“What the hell!? Give that back?!”
Dazai demanded, pointing at the raccoon,
Who in return turned around and shook ass.
Dazai’s jaw dropped, he stood up from the bench…
No way was he about to let some trash raccoon steal his goddamn donuts.
No way.
….
Dazai lunged at the Raccoon, who just dodged it without breaking a sweat!?
“You goddamn rabies haver! Give me my donut back!!”
He quickly crawled to his feet, the raccoon just snickered and started running.
And the brunette ran after them, of course.
“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!?”
Dazai barked out as he chased after the raccoon, stupid damn raccoon..
…
*Aggressive crying noises*
“Ohh… Ranpo.. My dear Ranpo!”
*More aggressive crying*
Dazai had just wanted to get his donut back, but he stumbled upon a Japanese speaking man, huddling in an alley muttering about some Randolf guy….
“Uh.. sir.. Is this your raccoon?”
Dazai asked, hesitant as the man slowly turned his head towards Dazai.
I mean, the raccoon had crawled up to the man's shoulders so…
…
“Yes.. what’s it to you?”
The man snarled in a low Whitty voice.
“Yeah well he just stole my donut and shoved his ass in my face?!”
Dazai barked back in a rather annoyed tone.
The man looked at the raccoon then at Dazai..
“You probably deserved it, I assure you Carl had his reasons.”
…
“WHAT REASON WOULD HE HAVE HAD TO ATTACK ME AND STEAL MY DONUT?!”
Dazai yelled at the man.
“He was hungry.”
…..
“Thats it, I’m having fried raccoon for dinner tonight.”