Archive of Our Own ^beta

 "Okay, this is getting ridiculous." Hyunjin huffs at him, frowning in impatience. "I've told you it's no big deal, pd-nim said we can have the blanket just above your hips so you don't have to take anything off, why are you still throwing a tantrum?"

“It's not a tantrum," Felix defends himself. "I have already come to terms with that-"

"Hah, bet," the older man says, eyebrows arching at him. "You're literally running away from me, Yongbok."

“You're the one rushing things!”

"Felix, we have almost every single one of our scenes done, including our unnecessarily tragic end, but not this damned sex scene," Hyunjin crosses his arms against his torso. "If you're so sex repulsed, why did you apply for a sex-driven character in the first place?"

“I'm not sex repulsed!” He whines in protest. “I- I’m- I'm nervous! There, I said it!”

Felix? Nervous? Hyunjin thinks to himself. Have I suddenly forgotten what words in Korean mean? Has he mixed up words again? He does let his English take over when he’s stressed…

“Nervous,” the brunet repeats slowly, almost dumbly. “You’re nervous.”

“We don’t quite have the time to mock me, Hwang Hyunjin. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t waste our precious minutes making fun of me.” The frown on Felix’s face is pretty, very pretty. He looks gorgeous when he’s happy, but even more when he’s mad.

Though one can’t classify this as him being mad, just merely pissed off. Embarrassed, maybe.

“I’m not mocking you,” he says timidly. “It’s just. It’s uncharacteristic of you.”

“Is it really?” The blond gives him a skeptical look, brows still furrowed.

“Are you afraid of– I don’t know, popping a boner accidentally?”

“I wasn't but now I am, thank you very much," Felix pouts, his frown accentuated. “I just- I didn't want to get overwhelmed and end up causing trouble. I do have a- I mean, I have my issues and I don’t like the thought of people watching me during this because I might react badly and my expressions won’t be on point and then-"

“Ya, ya," Hyunjin calls, "stop, Yongbok. Look at me."

The blond swallows the lump in his throat, his nervousness almost giving him away as he glares at the older one. "If you want to ridicule me, let me stay out of your sight first."

“I wouldn't ridicule you for this, or anything at all," he shakes his head. "Come here," Hyunjin raises his hand and waits until Felix takes it, pulling him closer and walking them both to another room. "This is a big deal for you, I can understand that, but running from it isn't gonna make the director give up on the scene, you know. He cut most of them because of censorship already, but this one isn't going anywhere."

“I know, I know," Felix blinks slowly, pursing his lips while looking to the ground. "You're not the problem, truly... I was- I was nervous before because I'm attracted to you, but I guess this– this doesn’t come even close to the feeling of being watched by the entire crew. And then having them edit it and- and risk them correcting us during it? No, just. No.”

What.

“I'm not- I won’t be going back to what you just said because I know how you don't need to hear any of that, but listen,” Hyunjin raises a finger, “if we pester them enough, I think we can get them to step out of the room and leave the takes for us, what do you say? Just the two of us, mn? Suho is supposed to be gentle in bed too, so there's nothing keeping me from helping you out during the scene, if you want me to."

Attracted to me. He’s attracted to me. He’s shy. Because he’s attracted to me. How do I even process that. How do I go on with my day. How.

“Help out? As in-”

“Encourage you," he nods. “I'm absolutely sure you'll do great, but I need you to be tranquil, so if there’s anything that I can say while in character to help you relax, just let me know and I’ll say it.”

“I don't know, I think- it's normally quiet for me,” Felix mumbles shyly, his cheeks tinted a pretty shade of pink. — His freckles are so cute right now, by the way. They’re colored a reddened tone of brown, which gives him a very very innocent look.

“Risky places?”

“No I- well, I used to cringe at the noises because it’s… it’s honestly hard for me to deal with everything all at once and focusing on feeling pleasure while being distracted with someone just saying nonsense to me,” he admits slowly, feeling the weight lifting off his shoulders. “It’s like- I can’t double task this well, so I always disguised it as a kink of mine and all, as much as asking people to not be this touchy, that’s why I- why I’m so nervous. It’s totally out of my zone.”

Hyunjin’s eyes are slightly widened as he listens to the series of confessions, having not a single clue as to why someone so pretty and kind (despite being spoiled sometimes) should have problems finding a suitable partner. “So… so you’re telling me you have to focus on what you’re doing to feel pleasure?”

“Yes?”

“Did your partners not- don’t you get turned on from your partners alone? I mean… you should feel more inclined to rile up if you’re with someone you’re attracted to, no?”

“It’s too overwhelming for me to pay attention to it,” he shakes his head. “I- I only do hook-ups and ditch, so, well I- I guess it’s way too rushed for someone to pipe down and follow my protocol, you know. I might be a little bit too spoiled and exigent,” the blond tries to joke, but Hyunjin doesn’t laugh. Not when he’s basically admitting that sex is almost a torture for him, and he’s panicking because he’ll feel overwhelmed from all of the attention and all the stims.

“Tell you what,” Hyunjin hums. “We have a full hour before we have to shoot again, right?” He asks, and the younger boy nods. “So, we’ll take this full hour for you to get used to me. Let’s go back to my room, mn? I’ll shut the blinds and sit my ass down and do nothing while you get used to me.”

“It’s not like that, I- I’m well used to your touch, I like hugging you, it’s just-”

“The other kind of touch, I’m aware,” he squeezes Felix’s hand softly, a small smile on the corner of his lips. “Come, I swear I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want me to do. You’ll call all the shots, you’ll tell me if I do this or that.”

“I- thank you, Hyunjin,” the blond bows his head in gratitude, squeezing Hyunjin’s hand in return. “But what- what if we… what if I get… you know.”

“Then you tell me what to do,” Hyunjin replies simply, shrugging lazily. “I like you, Felix. If you think I’m gonna laugh at you for getting hard for me, you’re deeply mistaken.”

Now that was an easy confession. Nice timing, too. — Could’ve been better? Yeah, but can we make any exigences? Hardly.

Startled, Felix nods his head slowly, pursing his lips shut and sighing deeply. “Okay. I um… can you- can you tell Minho-hyung we’re gonna–”

“Yeah, don’t worry.”

With that being said, Hyunjin fetches his phone and sends an audio message to Minho telling him that he and Felix need to talk and work on the issues for the sex scene, which, by the way, he was oh so eager to see. — Minho had been rooting for Hyunjin since day one, but Hyunjin was way too stubborn to acknowledge Felix wanted him just as badly up until now, so.

Felix and Hyunjin… they didn't have beef. Not exactly, at least. They’d bicker almost everyday because of this scene or that gesture, maybe that one line that sounds terrible and they have to pretend they love it. Just… you know, regular acting stuff. 

Though it all seemed to fly out the window the moment they had to kiss. They never, not even once, did the fake-kissing thing. Ever. They always kissed like they meant it, and Felix always told the crew it’s because he hates the feeling of fake-kissing because his cheek gets wet with both sweat and saliva. “More troublesome to the makeup staff”, he had said. He felt pretty proud of himself when everyone nodded in agreement and didn’t press further, thinking he had mastered his acting abilities to the fullest.

Truth is: this part of his acting is quite terrible, but it so happens that everyone knew they had a thing for each other, so they just didn’t want to spoil anything and let the two of them take their time. The question that generated a lot of debate was if they were indeed an item (in disguise) or if they were still in that teenage phase (just hormones acting up and no words being spoken about feelings; you know the drill, mn?). The crew — Minho included — believed that, if they truly had something going on, they'd let it show off screen. And why is that? Because Felix can't hide his disappointment when the director tells him there are no "Hyunlix" scenes for the day, nor does Hyunjin know how to hide his jealousy/anger expressions and demeanor when the other actor throws himself at Felix during their scenes. “Damn these fucking love triangles”, he had thought during the last cut of the guy just flat-on trying to steal a kiss from Felix while pulling him by his waist. “That’s my thing!” He protested to himself.

Both him and his character wanted to tell this guy off, because both him and his character know that he means no good. — Well, he doesn’t exactly spend time with the guy, but he’s not blind. He knows he has a thing for Felix too. (Who doesn’t?)

When they’re not kissing, however, it’s like they’re the same pole of a magnet, you know. It’s honestly annoying. They repel themselves the more they try to grow closer, and Hyunjin used to think it’s because he was doing something wrong. Now, though, with the confession that he had just heard, it’s as if everything just fell into place. He just needs to be patient, that’s all.

Minho was happy to learn that they were taking this break together, and assured him he’d only call within precisely sixty-three minutes to return. He did say something about maybe calling ten minutes earlier to get their makeup fixed, but Hyunjin had already blocked his phone and left it on the nightstand of his camper. Pity.

“You said you liked me,” Felix says sheepishly, taking his shoes off as Hyunjin locks the door and toes his own off as well. “Since when?”

“It’s been a few months,” Hyunjin hums, his belt going off next, and then he sits on the bed. “I thought you didn’t like my demeanor overall, but you always… you always seemed to enjoy our scenes together, so I didn’t know what to think, nor if I should say anything about it and risk scaring you off for good.”

“You annoy me sometimes,” the blond admits with a quiet giggle, “but I do like you. I was- I get nervous around you and I see how you like your touches, so I thought maybe you’d be as impatient with me as you are on set, that’s why I- that’s why I never said a thing, either. I was actually scared my feelings would cause trouble.”

Hyunjin looks at him carefully, nodding in understanding before sighing. “I guess I see where it’s coming from, and I don’t blame you. I really don’t. I get impatient because I’m frustrated, mostly. It’s not on you, really. It’s me. Poor management on my side, so, my bad.”

“It’s fine,” Felix smiles timidly and swallows, stepping closer slowly. “Can I… um…”

“You can do whatever you want to,” the brunet says softly after a moment of silence, his voice helping an awful lot to soothe Felix into tranquility. Step by step, but better than nothing at all. Much better. “Tell me if you want me to do anything.”

Yongbok nods his head and heaves out a breath, straddling Hyunjin’s lap and placing both hands on the crook of his neck, one on each side. “You can- you can touch my waist,” he breathes out. “Just… slowly.”

Hyunjin nods in agreement and snakes his hands up, stopping by Felix’s hip. “Over or under your shirt?”

“Under,” he murmurs, nervousness trying to escape through his pores. “Can I- can we kiss?”

“Of course,” the brunet nods, leaning forward to glue their lips together, but being stopped just before that by Felix. Shooting a quizzical look at him, Hyunjin tilts his head and retracts his hands, but the blond rushes to hold the two of them in place. “Something wrong?”

“I just- how are we supposed to do it on the scene?”

“I’m on top of you,” he shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s ideal if we start off with that. It would be too much.”

Nodding, Yongbok sighs sort of defeatedly and places Hyunjin’s hands under his shirt, shivering when the cold digits meet his hot skin. “Okay,” he breathes out laboredly. “Kiss me,” a whisper, almost as loud as the sound of their eyelashes batting when they blink. “Please.”

There’s something about Felix being so polite and shy that spurs Hyunjin on, and he almost wants to giggle, though he can’t find it in himself to be anywhere near non-cooperative right now. Also, the poor guy could see it as Hyunjin making fun of him, so no. Definitely not. He’s endeared, which is quite different but also quite difficult to tell apart if you’re panicking.

The distance in between them is cut, no words spoken and no odd noises made, either. Their kiss is calm and tranquil, soft as ever. Their characters always kiss like this. Like their love. — Well, there were a few more desperate kisses, but the drama is literally about an apocalypse, and the two of them might just die at any given moment, so there’s that. — Every kiss of theirs has been soft and gentle, and Hyunjin has always enveloped him in warmth with his caring hands. There hasn’t been a moment where Felix hasn’t felt comfortable doing this, and you could tell by the way he’d sigh dreamily and almost melt into Hyunjin’s embrace every time.

So, here’s where they’re at. Sighing dreamily into each other’s mouths while Felix’s no-longer-so-nervous hands caress Hyunjin’s scalp with a lot of care and affection, though he does seem a little bit tense, still. Hyunjin, being the good guy he is, tries his best to touch the blond reassuringly, not allowing his digits to travel further up or down, just lingering there and rubbing soft circles on his sides.

It’s only when Felix shuffles in his lap (about three times) that Hyunjin gets the feeling that he’ll be up to going ahead. The first two times were as full of intention as the third, but Hyunjin didn’t want to risk presuming anything and end up scaring the boy off, so he does as he promised before, and basically stays put while waiting for his partner to tell him what to do. After all, as much as this benefits him directly, it’s not about him at all. It’s all about Felix, in the end. His pleasure, his comfort, his image and how he’ll allow himself to be viewed by tons of people. Hyunjin has a bit of a problem with how he’s perceived by others, too, but it’s something that affects him only after it all ends, when the adrenaline cools down completely and he lies down to try to sleep. He has absolutely zero problems while putting on his act and maintaining it with mastery until the very end, so, he can’t say this is about him when it clearly isn’t.

“Feeling okay?” He asks quietly, not exactly pulling away from the kiss. When Felix only nods in response, he frowns a bit and tilts his head to the side, scanning the blond’s face. “Truly?”

“I’m fine,” Felix murmurs, swallowing the nervousness that started to creep up again. “I don’t- I don’t like to talk that much,” he reminds him just as quietly, not wanting to sound rude or anything of sorts.

Hyunjin is well aware, though he highly doubts this is entirely true. “Okay,” he sighs. “Where do we go from here?”

Felix looks at him with a face that screams “I just said I don’t like to talk!” while his mouth zips itself shut, his cheeks flushing a vivid red that suits him oddly well. “I– don’t know,” he breathes out and tries to look away, but Hyunjin chases his gaze and stays in sight anyway.

“So you want to slow down,” the brunet cocks his eyebrows inquisitively.

Shaking his head slowly, Felix bites onto his lower lip and sucks in another breath, trying to put his thoughts in place as best as he can. “I don’t.”

“I won’t move a muscle unless you tell me to,” Hyunjin murmurs, and to prove his point, he stays put. Dangerously close to Felix’s lips. “No one’s watching you, Yongbok. It’s just us,” he promises.

“I just- it’s too embarrassing to keep talking and keep making noise and-”

“I’m not asking you to keep talking to me as some sort of vocal kink, and I’m definitely not asking you to feign your sounds,” his eyebrows tighten at that, expression firm. If Felix didn’t know him, he’d say Hyunjin is offended right now. He looks like he’s about to scold him. “I want to know where to draw the line, Yongbok-ah. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me, but- but put yourself first, okay? Guide me as you please, and only do you want to do. I mean it.”

Felix stares at him with an unexplainable amount of fondness in his eyes, all the while a familiar heat ignites weakly at the pit of his stomach. He swallows and nods, letting the words sink in. “Okay. I’m sorry–”

“No need to apologize,” Hyunjin mumbles as his eyes wander back down, catching sight of Felix’s shiny lips. “So?”

The blond uses his molars to bite down on his tongue for a split second and holds himself back from asking for another kiss, blinking slowly before leaning in to get that kiss by himself. This time around, their lips sync up a bit faster than the previous time, and a sigh of pleasure — ? — escapes Hyunjin’s mouth when Felix’s tongue traces a line on his bottom lip, seeking entrance.

Felix stills for a bit, not knowing how or what to feel after that. He quickly comes back to himself, nibbling softly at the same lip, pulling it in between his teeth closer to himself, if it’s even possible. He shuffles again on the brunet’s lap, coming closer and secretly hoping that the pair of large hands climbs up his body as he does so. Disappointedly, he sighs and asks himself if it would be too much if he gave Hyunjin one of those direct demands that he sees in movie scripts and those smut fanfics, since Hyunjin didn’t move a single muscle despite the increased proximity.  Just as he said it would happen.

He then shakes the thought off because he figures it would be quite contradictory. I mean, he did admit that he cringes at the speech and that he doesn’t like talking at all, and then the first thing he asks for would be something along the lines of “fuck me like you mean it”? That’s not it. Instead, he guides Hyunjin’s hands up, his own grip tightening the closer the hands get to his chest.

When Hyunjin breaks the kiss, Felix tries to chase after it again, but he fails. “Breathless,” he explains weakly, though he’s not as disheveled or panting enough to be considered breathless. Then, he realizes Hyunjin is talking about him. His breath is unsteady and his chest is heaving unevenly, his nervousness all over the place.

“M sorry,” he breathes out, and then in again. “I’m just- it’s- I don’t want to drag this too much.”

“We’re not in a rush,” Hyunjin reminds him. “Your time, not mine.”

“You won’t feel as good,” Felix tries to reason. “I’ll feel like I’m not doing it right-”

“This is not about me,” he frowns. “Plus, you don’t know me in bed at all, how can you be sure I won’t feel as good?”

Felix is already flushed from being out of breath, but now the heat burns stronger in his face and neck. There’s something about Hyunjin’s personality, as a whole maybe, that Felix can’t help feeling extremely magnetized toward. Maybe his attitude and demeanor overall, maybe how he can shift from someone so cocky to someone so caring and dedicated, and now to this someone that Felix can’t describe with an actual word. Caring is one of the words, but not the word, you know. This is more than just care, and more than merely liking Felix.

But back to the scene, Felix swallows the lump that is still stuck in his throat, his eyes threatening to betray them both and shut themselves closed to not face this new Hyunjin. “Because- because no one feels good touching someone else like that? I mean- you’re not touching me there, so-”

And before he can say another word, he shuts up. He shuts up because Hyunjin sort of scoffed at him, plus he’s now smirking. God knows what’s going on in his mind right now.

“No one feels good touching someone else like that?” The brunet taunts. “Can I prove you wrong?”

Felix’s eyes widen and his breath falters again, and maybe it’s his anxiety working him up at the moment, but he feels like he should run in a panic, though his body begs him to stay still and let Hyunjin do it. He currently mistrusts his ability to speak because it has only led to more panic so far, so he just nods. Barely.

Hyunjin nods alongside and blinks slowly, his expression softening into a lazy smile. He doesn’t let his eyes fall just yet, instead snaking his hands up and feeling the blond’s body beneath them. Felix’s skin is smooth, not scarred and just so soft despite him having a toned abs, it doesn’t fail to amaze Hyunjin. His fingers come in contact with his chest shortly after, and he mostly caresses the region to get Felix used to the sensation. “If you want me to, I can close my eyes,” he offers when he sees the blond holding the end of his shirt.

“Please,” Felix almost whispers, his pitch an octave deeper than usual.

Hyunjin does as much, and he feels the fabric coming off a moment later. He has already seen Felix shirtless countless times, but he knows it’s a whole other deal now, so he won’t open his eyes until-

“You can- you can look,” Felix murmurs.

Now that was a quick change of mind.

“You sure?” Hyunjin frowns, still not opening his eyes. “I like being blindfolded, so staying like that is no problem to me,” he hums, “though it’s a bit of a challenge because sometimes they just try to snap open, so the blindfold would… you know, guarantee I won't look.”

Felix seems to take his time processing the information, an unquiet sigh leaving his lips. “So you won’t be- it won’t be inconvenient, right?”

“Far from it,” he shakes his head. “If you want to make sure I won’t accidentally look at you, I can- maybe I could lie down and cover my eyes with my shirt?”

“It’s fine like this,” the blond’s hands cup both sides of Hyunjin’s face, and he presses a kiss on his lips. “And it’s- it’s just us, right? So even if you look, it’s fine.”

But Hyunjin still doesn’t look. He won’t for a bit. “Would you be bothered if I made noise? Would it make it harder for you to focus?” He asks instead of obliging.

“I don’t know, maybe,” he hums as he rests his forehead against Hyunjin’s, his hands now searching for the pair of bigger ones to guide them up again. “Easy for now, please.”

“Easy,” the brunet assures him with a nod and bumps the tip of his nose against Felix’s, letting himself be guided until his own digits reach the desired area. “You don’t have to hold anything back,” he reminds him. “If you need to catch your breath, or just anything. If you feel uncomfortable, tell me or stop me.”

“Okay,” Felix agrees almost silently, and his mouth falls slightly open when Hyunjin’s fingers tighten on his nipple, making a spark of pleasure run down his spine straight to his groin. He doesn’t say anything at that, but his lips shape the words oh god instantly, and he tries his best not to bite anything to conceal it. It gets harder to stay still and quiet when his other nipple is being flicked with the right amount of strength (plus this one being sort of pinched), and even more when he feels Hyunjin’s hot breath against it.

“Can I?” He asks, and the spark goes off again. This time, Felix can’t just nod in response because Hyunjin isn’t looking at him, so he gathers some energy to thread his fingers on his hair and pull him closer while mumbling a sweet plea, gasping softly when the hot wetness surrounds his nipple.

Felix’s mind is sent into outer space when Hyunjin sucks on his bud, tongue flicking it again and again, teeth grazing here and there, everything shooting strings of pleasure that start tugging on his lower abdomen shortly after they begin. Of course Felix has had someone doing this to him in the past, but… maybe not as attentively as Hyunjin? Maybe just to get it done with, and mostly quite wrong. — Hard to the point it would bruise him if the person did it for a second longer than that, and the wrong kind of bruise. Felix himself thinks he might be into spanking and hurting during sex, but he needs to reach the line in between pleasure and pain first, not straight doing something painful first thing in the fuck.

Head falling back, breath unsteadying again, back arching beautifully and hand tightening on the brown locks. That’s how Hyunjin knows Felix is enjoying it despite staying shut. This is good, and it’s a huge step already. He’s closer to making a sound than he thinks. — What gave him away was a shudder that accompanied his sigh, and Hyunjin almost smirked to himself, wondering just how he must be looking right now.

Deciding to test the waters, Hyunjin hums lowly as he gives Felix’s nipple one last suckle, trailing a few wet kisses up to his neck and letting his nose bump there a few times before speaking. “Can I kiss you here?”

“Yes- yes,” the blond replies softly. “Please.”

“You don’t need to plead,” he murmurs, a chaste kiss meeting the skin of Felix’s neck at that. “Though you sound really hot when you do,” he hums almost dreamily, this time placing a wet kiss closer to the shell of Felix’s ear. “You have no idea of how crazy you make me, Yongbok.”

Felix widens his eyes and swallows loudly, his jaw still fallen as he tries to collect his thoughts. He fails, to no one’s surprise, and stays silent. The hand that still managed to keep hold of Hyunjin’s hair tightens a bit, and he has to consciously think about loosening the grip to not displease him, all while the other stays dumbly and awkwardly placed on top of Hyunjin’s forearm. He also has to scold himself for it, deciding to close his fingers around the brunet’s wrist to force it to move.

Hyunjin doesn’t pay much attention to it at first, thinking that maybe Felix wants to be pulled closer or something, so he focuses on the wet kisses he has to spread along his jawline, plus the soft nibbles on his earlobe. Of course. He focuses on how pleasure works through Felix’s body, and how frail he seems under his touch. How intimate this is and how Felix hasn’t done this with anyone else. — Having a decent foreplay, I mean. It seems like the guy has some sort of robotic sex and that’s it.

The turning point comes when he feels fabric against his fingers again. Realizing where his hand was guided to, he smirks and sucks gently on Felix’s earlobe, using his free hand to pull his lower body closer. “Feeling good?”

“Mm-hm,” the blond agrees quickly, undoing the button of his pants single-handedly to place Hyunjin’s hand right above his hard-on.

“You sure?”

“M sure,” he breathes out, now using both hands to cup the brunet’s cheeks and force his head up. “And you can- you can look, really. I just- eye contact is not for me, I guess.”

“Do you feel comfortable with me looking at you?” Hyunjin opens his eyes slowly, zipping his mouth shut when he’s confronted with the Felix that’s right in front of him. He looks just… “so gorgeous,” he murmurs, the words spilling before he can even finish thinking. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful, Felix.”

The beautiful Felix in question burns a brighter, hotter red once he processes the hungry look that has coated Hyunjin’s face, feeling quite strongly that there must be something wrong with him. “I’m- it’s- you- oh my,” he heaves a nervous sigh and covers his face with his hands, almost wanting to run away in embarrassment. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize,” Hyunjin cuts him short. “I’m sorry for that, it’s just- you’re so used to being complimented all the time, I didn’t think it would make you uncomfortable-”

“It didn’t!” Felix hurries to explain, shaking his head and waving his hands in front of himself. “It’s just- you look different right now, it’s not- it’s not like the other compliments, you’re different,” he swallows audibly again, pursing his lips for a moment. “But it’s okay, I’m- I’m fine, all is fine.”

“So it’s fine if I look at you,” he tilts his head to the side inquisitively, nodding when Felix also nods. “And it’s also fine if I keep talking, mn?”

“It’s fine,” another nod. “I don’t mind.”

“Difficult to focus on yourself so far?” Hyunjin lifts both eyebrows slowly.

“No, no,” Felix shakes his head just as slowly. “It’s- well, I- actually, I almost didn’t- I didn’t have to think about it,” he admits. “Just, you know, kept thinking about shutting up and breathing deeply.”

“No need to think about this,” the brunet hums, his hand snaking down, still over the fabric of Felix’s boxers. “You sound as beautiful as you look, Felix. I’d love to hear you, so if something slips out, don’t worry your pretty head about it, okay? If most, you’d only turn me on more.”

“M-more?” Felix repeats surprisedly, and, more surprisingly, Hyunjin thrusts up once while also fixing their position by moving them to the center of the bed, making his half-hard cock rather noticeable. Feelable. “O-oh, oh my god,” he then shuts his eyes, head bobbing back as he bites onto his lower lip unconsciously. He promptly stops whatever this was because the wave of shame will strike him like crazy if he does something like this for Hyunjin to see.

“I’m telling you, you have no idea of how crazy you’ve been driving me lately,” Hyunjin hums. “Is it okay if I-”

“Yes,” he nods eagerly, regretting it immediately. — Showing he’s this eager, I mean. — “Please.”

The brunet smirks and nods, capturing Felix’s lips in a slow kiss while his fingers draw lines from the tip to the base of Felix’s dick. Tortuously slow. Heavenly good, but also very frustrating. He delights with the visible (almost palpable) exasperation that follows, and thinks it’s cute that Felix is trying to subtly get more friction by rolling his hips in time.

Hyunjin licks into his mouth and hums lowly because he’s this much of a sucker for Felix, snaking the other hand up to cup his jaw with a bit of strength, parting the kiss with a wet sound, which was borderline filthy, though extremely attractive. Felix seems to think as much, too, and he wasn’t exactly planning on saying such thing, but his brain short-circuits and he lets out a gasp involuntarily, cock twitching in the confines of his boxers.

The way he feels every nerve ending in his body at the moment is honestly insane. He hasn’t felt like this, like, ever, which almost makes him look like a liar, sort of. I mean, he’s been saying he has to focus on his pleasure and he thought it would be such a difficult task for Hyunjin to please them both, only to not be able to focus on anything because the pleasure is too much. And Hyunjin isn’t even naked yet.

“So beautiful,” the brunet moans against his lips, hand finally closing around Felix’s cock. He hasn’t even noticed that Hyunjin had pulled his pants and boxers down a bit, much less that he was exposed. And don’t get me wrong, Felix was about to start feeling anxious again, but with the way Hyunjin just moaned for him just now, there’s nothing he can do but to shudder and let him do whatever he wants. “You’re so gorgeous, Felix,” he continues, “I’m so fucking lucky that you even looked my direction, let alone be here with you, god damn,” Hyunjin then presses a soft kiss to his lips, and only then Felix realizes that he isn’t looking down. He’s looking up, right at him.

Not that he was feeling objectified, far from it, but to know that Hyunjin is respecting him so much and taking even more consideration regarding his issues makes him want to say I love you right now. Even though he’s doing nothing romantic and rather carnal. — He could swear he sees a lot of fondness in his eyes, though. Adoration, maybe.

Felix swallows and feels his eyelids fluttering closed, nails scratching Hyunjin’s skin as the heat spreads everywhere. “You say it- you say it as if you weren’t gorgeous as well,” he breathes out, trying to open his eyes again but failing because he’s afraid he’ll be mistaken about Hyunjin’s gaze. “I’m- I’m lucky you’re willing to- to work this out despite it all,” he swallows again, lips pursing shut for a moment.

“You know what I mean, Yongbok. You don’t do this with just anyone, and to know you chose to give me a chance is huge for the two of us.” Hyunjin takes the hint and bumps the tip of his nose on Felix’s neck again to signal that he’s not looking up, kissing a sweet spot there after a second. “It’s a privilege to get to see you like this,” he mumbles before biting softly there. “To have you like this.”

Felix was about to say something right before Hyunjin’s last sentence, but being interrupted by such a statement only made him moan — for real this time — and jerk his hips upwards, chasing the sensation that was threatening to slip away because Hyunjin was slowing his hand down. He realizes a bit too late that he had moaned out loud, and a tad later that it was a high-pitched noise instead of a deep one. Not that high-pitched, I must say; just about one octave higher than his usual voice.

Still, he starts to get worried it might turn Hyunjin off because all of his partners had expressed their obsession with Felix’s deep voice, so of course they’d be there for the deep moans and growls and sexy dirty talking, and for what? Only to be disappointed by him being mostly silent. Hyunjin himself only got to hear him gasping and heavy-breathing, so he’s pretty sure this is a minus point.

But, you know, this is Hyunjin. The whole “let me prove you wrong” guy and such.

“Oh, look at you,” he murmurs with a very obvious smile on his lips, kissing and licking and biting on the blond’s skin. “You’re really something, aren’t you? God, you sound so-”

“I didn’t mean to!” Felix hurries to interrupt. “I- I was startled, I didn’t mean for it to come out so high-pitched like that,” he swallows again, his cheeks flushed and his eyebrows tightening together in a worried frown.

“You sound perfect, sweetheart. That was what I was about to say,” Hyunjin hums and pulls away, tightening his grip on Felix’s dick for a moment before letting go and coming back to his tip. “You know, making me almost feel bad for wanting to commit blasphemy against such a dedicated angel,” he teases, but his expression is none other than a pleasured one. It only gets better when another strangled noise escapes Felix’s throat, this time making his body arch.

Oh, to look so heavenly while so wrecked. To look so fucked out and out of it when he hasn’t even cum yet.

“N-not yet,” he gasps when the pace starts to change, holding Hyunjin’s hand in place. “Please, I don’t- I don’t want to just yet.”

And now won’t you look at this! Oh, that’s great news, mn? It means Hyunjin was able to get him close enough to the edge when he’s had so many bad experiences in the past, so that must be a good thing. He did well.

“Why not?” The brunet frowns, feigning confusion. “Not feeling good anymore?”

“No- no! Of course I’m- I’m feeling good, it’s- it’s too good, actually,” Felix clears his throat, trying his best to conceal the embarrassment. “I just- I want you to feel good too, so I… I want to go ahead.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen at that, and his own cheeks flush a bit because he wasn’t exactly expecting this. “Are you sure? I don’t mind just-”

“I’m sure,” he nods. “You- you’ve been nothing but patient with me,” a dreamy sigh, “you deserve it too. I want you to have this too,” and a very sinful stare. All that for Hyunjin.

God, when did he make a deal with the devil to be deserving of such a thing?

“You’re gonna kill me one day,” Hyunjin breathes out laboredly, his gaze sweeping him up and down. “I’ll turn off the lights, okay? I think I have some lube in my bag, so I’ll grab it too.”

Felix nods and puts himself farther on the bed, taking the last pieces of clothing out and pressing his knees to his chest as he watches Hyunjin go. He looks quite indecently at him when Hyunjin starts to undress, the shirt flying off and the belt right after. He almost drools at the sight of Hyunjin’s hard-on, still covered by the underwear. “Hyunjin,” he calls.

“Yeah?” The brunet looks at him as quickly as possible, trying his best not to comment on the fact that Felix is completely naked or think too much about it. “You can cover yourself with the blanket if you want to,” he suggests, but Felix shakes his head negatively and slowly lowers himself until he’s lying on the bed, legs still bent but not as much. “Feeling okay?” He asks, just to make sure.

“Hurry up?” Felix pouts prettily and subtly at that, his face and neck almost combusting with the heat, but he swallows it all down while sighing dreamily and half-closing his eyes, back arching just a bit as he fixes himself on the mattress. — It took him a lot of courage to do this, but he was feeling somewhat confident that it would match Hyunjin’s taste, given all of the previous reactions to whatever has happened so far.

And yeah, well, Hyunjin did hurry up. It took him maybe a second or two but he flew back to the bed with a bottle of lube in hands and his pants nowhere to be seen. Would be quite funny if they weren’t so horny, to be honest.

When Felix catches sight of Hyunjin sitting on his heels right in front of him, almost settled into a position where he could actually fuck him, he moans with a quiet hum. He blinks slowly and stares at the brunet’s body, both for too long and not long enough at the same time. Hyunjin is watching him throughout the whole thing with a lazy smug smile stretching his lips, and only when the bottle pops open does Felix snap out of his little trip.

He swallows and clears his throat quietly, breathing deeply and calming himself down because he should be aware by now that Hyunjin will take proper care of him, but there’s probably too much adrenaline running through him.

“Is it fine if we stay like this?” The brunet asks. “I’ll only prep you now, so we can switch positions when I’m done, if you want to.”

Felix seems to think for a bit before nodding and sighing, opening his legs slowly. “It’s fine,” he murmurs. “If you get tired from staying like this, we can switch.”

Hyunjin nods in agreement and pours lube on his hand, warming it up as he coats his fingers with it. “You don’t have to look at me, but I won’t look down if you feel uncomfortable.”

“You’re so…” he sighs dreamily again, at this point starting to not care that he might look a bit too folded and silly. “Thank you for this,” he blinks slowly again, placing a pillow below his head and shutting his eyes closed when he feels Hyunjin’s dry hand on his inner thigh. “It’s fine if you look, I just- if I look at you I might just…”

“I get it,” Hyunjin says, and as much as it seems it’s just out of sympathy, he really does get it. He spent quite a long time getting used to being surveilled and having every bit of his routine watched before he felt slightly comfortable showing off his body like that. Plus, he never had an absurdly toned body no matter what strict diet he was put into, so the fear of rejection and the feeling of being judged for being how he is still persecutes him in a way until today. He knows that Felix would probably start overthinking or panicking about being stared at like that, so he saves their time and makes it easier for the two of them. “Can I start prepping you?”

“Mm-hm,” Felix nods subtly, head tilting back as one of Hyunjin’s wet fingers starts circling his rim. “Slow,” he asks under his breath, and he’s slightly surprised when he feels a faint gush of air blowing his chin. He doesn’t have time to open his eyes again before Hyunjin kisses him, slow and sensual as before.

It’s amazing, you know. The timing and the whole way he deals with all of this. Would be baffling if Felix already didn’t have an idea of how dearly Hyunjin can treat his loved ones, but it’s still surprising how he seems to take everything into so much consideration.

When Hyunjin senses that the tension is fully gone — given that Felix has threaded his fingers on his hair while the other hand is rubbing one of his sides very gently —, he pushes his finger in. He feels shivers running down his spine when the blond scratches his side, running straight to his crotch.

Felix didn’t moan this time, but he does the next. It’s a quiet sound that Hyunjin swallows happily, and he almost bites down his tongue when the long finger reaches very near his sweet spot. Over, and over, and over again.

He knows it would be stupid to become a mess on someone’s fingers, so he just focuses on the kiss and breathing steadily, plus caressing Hyunjin’s skin to show him it’s fine. The hand that was on his side is now on his back because Hyunjin is fully on top of him (don’t ask when he had opened his legs enough to allow this, much less when he caged Hyunjin in between them), and he’s running his fingers on the expanse of it.

Hyunjin stretches him just fine, fine to the point where Felix only notices that a second finger has slipped in because he starts to scissor them inside, both to loosen him up and to search for his prostate. Gasp after gasp, hum after hum, and mostly scratch after scratch, Hyunjin finds it.

And when he does, Felix moans sinfully. It’s muffled because of the kiss, but it’s so much better like this — because Hyunjin feels the vibrations —, so much better that Hyunjin moans in response while pulling the fingers out, only to slam them back in swiftly to see if he gets to hear it again. Oh, and also, he breaks the kiss apart just in time.

“God,” Felix gasps breathlessly, not exactly pitying Hyunjin’s back despite allegedly needing to do so.

“Third finger, alright? Feeling good?” Hyunjin kisses his chin sweetly and hums contently when the blond nods, sliding the third and last finger inside.

This time around, Hyunjin doesn’t tease too much, and he doesn’t aim at Felix’s prostate on purpose because he wants this to last a bit longer than two thrusts, so he just focuses on prepping him well. — Of course the pleasured noises aren’t exactly calming him or his dick down, but he’s managing it well.

“M ready,” Felix hums breathily, his toes curling as he accidentally makes Hyunjin hit his prostate when he shuffles on the bed, lips pursing shut so he won’t moan again. “Please, I- I’m ready,” he sucks in a breath and glares at Hyunjin with the fucked out expression from before, visibly forcing himself to not say anything else.

Hyunjin takes a moment to wonder if he’ll get to hear Felix explicitly saying fuck me one day, and the thought of it is riling enough to zap him out of the daydream zone and back to reality. “Fine like this?” He asks quietly, referring to the position he mentioned before. “Want to switch up?”

“Are you tired?” 

“Am not,” he shakes his head.

“Then… then it’s fine like this,” the blond caresses his scalp gently, hooded eyes staring at him with expectation and a fair amount of pent up desire.

Said pent up desire threatens to knock the oxygen completely out of their lungs when Hyunjin bottoms out. Felix didn’t bother checking if he had put a condom, but he can feel he did. — A shame, really. He’d love to be fucked raw.

He doesn’t express his slight displeasement because the pros (being fucked per se) are much bigger than the cons (not being fucked raw), so he just hums, biting on his lower lip and fixing the position his legs are in, forcing Hyunjin to bend down a little bit.

When he does so, he rests his forehead against Felix’s, kissing his lips softly. “Feeling alright?”

“M fine,” the blond replies in a whisper. “You?”

It’s silly to ask, he knows, but when Hyunjin hums a faint giggle and says “I’m losing my mind over you”, he knows they’re goners. “That means yes,” the brunet adds, as if it wasn’t clear.

Felix giggles and steals a quick peck from his lips, bringing both of his hands further up to caress Hyunjin’s scalp and the beginning of his thoracic spine. “Good,” he sighs dreamily and encourages the brunet to move by tensing his legs and shuffling on the mattress in the smallest bit, and fortunately, Hyunjin picks the cue.

The first few drags are not exactly as pleasurable as they should be, and that’s because both of them are equally tensed up; Felix because he’s holding on not to say anything stupid, and Hyunjin because he thinks he didn’t prep him well enough. But well, it is what it is, and after a few moments they loosen up completely, losing themselves to the sounds they’re starting to create.

Felix is trying not to cum too early on, so he refuses to pay attention to the situation as a whole and instead focuses all of his senses on the tip of his fingers, tracing invisible lines down Hyunjin’s spine and then back up. Of course that, since he’s giving all of his brain cells to this (and to not cumming), he completely forgets that he’ll eventually start panting and whatnot, so when his mouth falls open and small noises start to slip past his tongue and teeth, he doesn’t notice. At all. He’s too focused on feeling the little bumps on Hyunjin’s skin, which were caused by himself. — The scratches, remember?

Hyunjin is also trying to pay attention to something else, maybe how Felix is touching him or maybe how his legs are caging him so close but not quite close enough, but everything just works him up further, and he finds himself losing a bit of his mind. How dare Lee Felix be so perfect? Ugh.

“You know,” the brunet says once he notices that Felix might be a little away. “Suho is allegedly a virgin,” he smirks.

“Y-yeah,” Felix frowns for a second, confused as to why he’s mentioning this now. “Aidan too,” he says because, yeah, both of their characters are two losers who grew up in the middle of the apocalypse but were still two hopeless romantics waiting for true love and you name it. If Hyunjin thought it was plausible to bring Suho up, Felix can bring Aidan into it, too, right?

“So we’re just walking into the set and saying the artwork on my back was made by a cat?” He teases. “We’re supposed to be immaculate, you know,” his voice drops in pitch almost a whole octave, and he nibbles on Felix’s earlobe as if it wasn’t enough to get him all hot and weak.

Felix, in return, moans louder than he has until now, his whole body shuddering. “Hyunjin, stop- stop teasing,” he asks shakily, the prettiest of frowns adorning his face. “We can just- ask to record later, when you- when your back heals,” he whines in protest and kicks Hyunjin’s hip with no strength at all when he sees the grin plastered on his face, once more angling his body in a way that makes the deal much better by accident.

Hyunjin can only stare in awe and bite his tongue when Felix whimpers loudly, finding no words in himself to praise him enough. He wants to thank him, pretty much. It’s a blessing to get to hear him, he’d say. Luck, even. “You’re so perfect,” he murmurs, his breath out of pace and his hands tightening on Felix’s waist. “God, so perfect like this, so pretty,” he goes on, one of his arms sliding under Felix’s body to lift him up by the hips, caging him in that position. “Is this okay?”

If Hyunjin asks one more time if anything is okay, Felix will have to find a way to knock him out cold when they’re done. — In a very thankful and lovingly way, of course. — Respectfully, Hyunjin, he can’t take any more of your politeness and care, and he’d actually love it if you fucked his brains out. Thank you, though.

“Harder,” that’s what he ends up saying instead of smacking Hyunjin (due to the lack of better options to portray his fondness) or anything of sorts. He digs all ten of his fingernails on the brunet’s skin to snap him back to the present — because Hyunjin looks like he’s out of it —, and clenches around his dick to encourage him to go.

“You’ll be the fucking death of me,” Hyunjin growls and lowers himself to kiss him while fixing their postures and placing a pillow under Felix’s hips, nibbling on the lower lip as they part the kiss. “Want me close?”

“Yeah, just like this,” he nods and gasps when Hyunjin thrusts in again unexpectedly after that bit of shuffling, humming a little sound of pleasure with everything going on. “I’m- I’m close,” the blond admits timidly.

“Wanna cum untouched?” Hyunjin offers. “Or do you want me to lean back and help you out?”

“Want you close,” Felix shakes his head subtly and swallows, helping himself get some more action by rolling his hips in time with the thrusts. “Please.”

Hyunjin obliged without another word, trying to glue their bodies together so Felix’s dick would still have contact with something, even if it was the skin of Hyunjin’s abdomen. It didn’t work entirely, but Felix doesn’t let him care enough about that either way, letting more pretty sounds out as he nears his orgasm.

A few more scratches go by before Felix mewls a last warning, gasping audibly as his eyes snap open, back arching sinfully and breath stilling in his throat. Hyunjin moans hoarsely when the heat becomes a bit too much — but in a perfect way —, tight around himself to the point where it tosses him off the edge almost violently.

While Felix was silent the whole way through his climax, way too tense and too awestruck to react more, Hyunjin came with Felix’s name on his lips, a soft whimper following suit and his whole body relaxing. He does ride their orgasms out by keeping the thrusts shallow and gentler, and then he kisses him again.

The blond whimpers weakly in oversensitivity and taps his hands on Hyunjin’s sides a few times while not daring to part the kiss, feeling like he needs this a little bit too desperately. He sighs in relief when Hyunjin pulls out, though he can’t say he’s happy about not being filled anymore. He’d have loved to be stuffed full with his cum and maybe to keep it inside for the rest of the day, maybe later Hyunjin would praise him for having been a good boy and done things so nicely…

But it’s fine. It’s not like he’s been fantasizing about it, much less that he’d have the balls to express this liking of his. Pfft. As if.

Hyunjin — not a mind-reader — sighs soundly and smiles at him once they catch their breaths, kissing his lips tenderly once or twice. “Hey there.”

“Hi,” Felix giggles, closing his eyes for a bit. “I always cringe at this part,” he whines, but it’s not very sincere.

“Better this than a woah, no? That’s the last of my top favorite sentences first thing after sex,” the brunet also giggles. “But you were just so fucking amazing, I wouldn’t be able to say a damn thing.”

“Definitely better than a woah,” he hums and lies on his side, wincing when he feels his own cum dripping to the mattress. “Oh, damn I- I’ll help you clean this up,” he then sits up, but Hyunjin pulls him back by the hands, causing him to basically fall on top of him. “Ah- you- Hyunjin-ah!” He whines again, now wincing because the two of them just got kind of sticky.

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it,” Hyunjin replies lazily as he swipes his fingers carelessly wherever there’s cum, bringing the digits up to his mouth and sucking them clean. Of course there isn’t a reply because Felix just short-circuited again, so Hyunjin just sighs and adjusts their position and the pillows, humming in satisfaction when they’re cuddling comfortably. “About thirty minutes until Minho gets up here to yell at us, and then ten minutes to shower quickly and get changed. Wanna nap?”

The blond nods dazedly and hums in agreement, not trusting himself to speak at the moment. Though his mouth parts itself and a thought slips out without his consent, so. “What did this mean to you?”

“This?” Hyunjin tilts his head. “It means whatever you want it to mean.”

“Nice try,” Felix grumbles. “Be honest with me.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything if you’re not up to it, mostly if you don’t feel ready for a relationship. But if you are up to it, we can take slow steps and see where it leads us,” he says sincerely, a gentle hand rubbing soothing circles on Felix’s arm.

“You said you liked me,” the blond reminds.

“I do, but I know better than to pressure someone to give in to my wants. This — what happened today — was already a huge step, but I wouldn’t press my luck by any means. If it did happen that we talked about it and settled an agreement without getting physical, I also wouldn’t keep pestering you around to do it.”

Felix nods, understanding well where he’s coming from. “It’s only fair,” he hums. “Thank you for this, and- for everything. You were amazing, and I felt- I felt seen but in a good way, so that’s nice.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” Hyunjin smiles and kisses his lips, then his forehead. “Don’t worry too much about what happens later. We’ll take our time.”

And so they did. They took a few moments to put themselves back together when Minho woke them up with his dramatic screeches, Hyunjin took a moment to say that the two of them had agreed on filming all sex-related scenes later that week because he wanted to test a new diet for more toned abs, and Felix took another moment to say that he has a plan for his character.

They also took their time to decide where to go on a first date, a very, very long time to decide what to order when they were finally there, too scared to even lift a spoon and end up breaking something and being charged a salty amount of money. They took less time to eat than to take pictures that day, and they took a lot of time to pick the best pics too, prioritizing the lighting and the aesthetics of it, only for Felix to say fuck it and post all fifty three photos of himself on social media. And then sixteen more with Hyunjin.

They took their time figuring out how to design their rings, wondering if a black ring with silver details would be classy or too distinctive. They took way too much time deciding on that, and in the end, Hyunjin bought them both two pairs of rings that were nothing custom-made, pretty much generic and very much copyable. But Felix loved it anyway.

They took their time filming the sex scenes, and it took a bit of convincing for the crew to leave the set, but in the end they allowed Minho to stay with the promise he’d leave as soon as he was supposed to and not come back for the next fifteen minutes. Just so they could take their time relieving the tension and jerking each other off.

They also took an awful lot of time to say they were an item, mostly because they knew there would be people disappointed in them (both because they’re in a gay relationship and because the other actor wishes it was him instead), but it’s fine. It’s really fine now.

After taking a lot of time and a lot of things into consideration, everything turned out pretty much okay, and by the time the drama aired, they were already taking some time off to plan their wedding. — The honeymoon, actually. The wedding could be a dinner party for all they care.

But yeah. Valuable life lesson. Big one. — Have Minho as your wingman, best friend and best man. Totally worth it.