Chapter Text
Penny: When I was a kid, I had this game called worm church where I'd bring worms into my room and read the bible.
Penny: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that it was meant for babies.
Penny: Goodnight moon.
Penny: Goodnight tree.
Penny: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.
Penny: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
Penny: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
Penny: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Penny: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
Penny: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.
Penny: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read.
Noel: While you were caught up in your heterosexuality, I studied the way of the blade!
Ezra: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.
Penny: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.
Ezra, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.
Noel: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?
Virgil: *bites lip* Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?
Cop: That isn’t gonna work, hands behind your back.
Virgil: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!
Karnak: I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed.
Ezra: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.