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1. Gifts
The first time Tommy brings him flowers, Buck is taken aback. Before their fourth date (that’s four not including pizza and coffee, they don’t need to acknowledge those), Tommy shows up to Buck’s apartment with a bouquet of flowers. Buck is familiar with flowers. He’s given flowers. A supermarket bouquet of roses or maybe something a bit varied if he’s being fancy. This isn’t that.
“Wh-what’s that?” The bouquet is gorgeous. It’s all yellow and purple, and Buck thinks he recognizes daffodils and iris, among some others that he wouldn’t even try to name.
Tommy raises an eyebrow and smiles at him fondly. “Flowers?” He pauses a moment as Buck just stares at him. “Are you going to let me in?”
“Oh.” Buck moves aside so that Tommy can enter the loft, pressing a kiss to Buck’s cheek as he does. Buck closes the door and follows Tommy into the room, dazed.
Tommy turns and looks at him expectantly. “Evan? Where can I put these?”
“Uh. I don’t know?” Buck definitely doesn’t have a vase. He realizes he’s been staring at Tommy and the flowers dumbly again and shakes his head to hopefully snap himself out of his stupor. “Here, I think I have a pitcher somewhere.” He busies himself digging through a cabinet in the kitchen.
“Evan, they’re just flowers. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“What?! No!” Buck stands quickly and turns back to Tommy, who is still holding the bouquet but now looks apprehensive. “They’re beautiful, Tommy.” This shouldn’t be such a surprise. Tommy is always doing sweet little things for Buck, things that make Buck feel special and wanted. It’s only been a few months, but Tommy can already see right through him.
Tommy steps forward and pushes the bouquet into Buck’s hands. “You’re beautiful.” He presses a kiss to Buck’s birthmark.
Buck melts against Tommy, careful not to crush the flowers. “I’ve never been given flowers before.”
“Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?”
“Right.” Buck stares at the bouquet.
Tommy pats Buck’s arm with a chuckle and moves to the kitchen himself. “Let’s get these in some water, baby. You can have this crisis later.”
“Oh, shut up.”
Tommy somehow finds a vase that Buck didn’t even know he owned. The flowers look glorious in it, sitting as a reminder as Tommy and Buck eat their dinner (delivery, of course, they can’t be too fancy). It’s a reminder. It’s a reminder of something. Buck feels cherished, looking across the table at his man.
2. Physical Touch
Buck has been spending a lot of time at Tommy’s house recently. Really, they’ve both been spending a lot of time in each other’s homes. With their chaotic schedules, it’s often easiest to catch a few hours together or just spend the night in each other’s company, rather than planning elaborate dates that could get interrupted anyway, or just feel rushed. Really though, Buck will take any excuse to spend time wrapped in Tommy’s arms.
Buck enjoys fancy, romantic dates, but he also loves just spending the night in with his boyfriend. Tommy has taken it upon himself to catch Buck up on any important pop culture that he’s missed. And the best part of that is movie night cuddles on the couch.
Buck is learning a lot of new things about Tommy, like that his favorite movie is Love Actually. Buck has never been a connoisseur of cinema, but if he was ever going to delve into the subject on his own, he’s not sure that it would be through romcoms. At first, Buck didn't really understand what drew Tommy to the film so strongly. After about the fourth rewatch, he realizes that love actually is all around.
Tommy also loves to cuddle, and Buck loves to be held. He’s done a lot of holding, but he’s never been held by someone larger than him. As soon as their relationship became more physical, Buck knew that he was absolutely ruined. Tommy was cautious at first, understanding that Buck wasn’t used to being touched by a man, but Buck was all in on this whole bisexuality thing. Being touched by a man is good.
It’s not like Buck is unaccustomed to physical intimacy. On the contrary, he’s very familiar with the feeling of another body against his own. This is different. The way Tommy touches him is reverant.
They’re on Tommy’s couch on one of the beloved movie nights, the DVD from Tommy’s extensive collection long having ended and now quietly looping the menu screen music.
Neither of them are small men, and together on the couch they turn into an absolutely massive tangle of limbs. It’s definitely part of the appeal. Tommy seems to have taken his own size into account when picking out his frankly ridiculous couch. Buck can admit that it’s his favorite part of Tommy’s cozy home.
Buck’s loft has never felt like a home not like this. He can relax here, and he loves it.
3. Quality Time
Tommy is the first partner Buck has had who actually seems interested in his nerdy rambling. Once after a deep Wikipedia rabbit hole, Buck goes off on a tangent about state flags. Did you know that the state flag of Alaska, which displays eight gold stars, forming the Big Dipper and Polaris, was designed in 1927 by a fourteen-year-old who won a contest? When Buck realizes how long he’s been talking, he cuts himself off abruptly. At first he’s worried that Tommy will be annoyed, but when Buck meets his eyes, Tommy is smiling fondly at him.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ve always liked the California state flag. Do you know anything about that one?”
After that, Buck feels more comfortable spouting off random knowledge. One day he mentions that the National History Museum’s Butterfly Pavilion has gotten Blue Morphos for their Spring and Summer exhibitions, and Tommy insists that they go to see them.
Buck has an intensive Wikipedia session the night before they go, just to be extra prepared.
Of course the gardens are absolutely the highlight. Buck and Tommy hold hands as they walk through the narrow paths between tall, flowering plants, Tommy listening intently to Buck’s rambling with a soft, affectionate smile on his face.
“You know, butterflies are actually day-flying moths, so both butterflies and moths have wings that are covered in scales, which is what makes them unique when it comes to other types of insects.”
Who can really complain about butterflies? They’re so cool. Of course, the Blue Morphos have the most gorgeous iridescent blue wings. There are also even butterflies that you can see through, all the way through to the leaves that they sit on, leisurely flapping their translucent wings. Buck is enthralled.
Buck can feel himself rambling, he can feel the hyperfixation taking over. But Tommy just listens. He smiles. He smiles and nods and he asks questions.
“Tommy, I swear to god you need to tell me when I’m being annoying.”
“You’re not annoying me.”
“I’m taking up your entire afternoon with butterflies.”
“I’m always happy to spend time with you, Evan.”
It’s still early, but Buck has never felt this comfortable in a relationship. Sometimes he worries that he’s gotten too comfortable. But Tommy just makes him feel so… good. And Buck is pretty sure that the feeling is mutual. The way that Tommy looks at him, so full of warmth and care, makes Buck’s face flush and his heart speed up. Buck is worried about moving too fast, but maybe Tommy is there with him.
4. Acts of Service
It’s been an awful shift, so many rough calls one after the other. Buck has gone without sleep for at least 20 hours by the time they’re riding back to the station after their last call of the day, what seemed like a minor car accident until they caught one of the drivers’ internal bleeding. It was too late. Buck has his cheek pressed against the cool glass of the window, too drained to make casual conversation. Usually he’s able to just ramble about something inconsequential to cut the tension, but right now he just can’t. Eddie was man behind because of a minor injury on an earlier call, so at least he missed out on this part. Nobody else seems to be in a talkative mood either.
When they get back to the firehouse, Buck drags himself up to the kitchen on autopilot, in desperate need to get some caffeine in his system before he can drive himself home. He also has to call Tommy to let him down.
He and Tommy had made plans tonight and now he has to cancel. Again.
Of course they both had known the hazards of the job before their relationship started, but it still sucks. Buck hasn’t gotten used to a partner being so understanding when he needs to cancel on them. He never wants to cancel plans with Tommy.
Buck tries to sound as normal as possible when he nswers the phone, but he can tell that it isn’t successful. “Tommy.”
“Hey, baby. Did you just finish your shift?”
“Yeah. Listen, I’m so sorry, but-- I just can’t. I just can’t tonight, Tommy. I know we have reservations and this sucks but I promise I’ll make it up to you.
“Sweetheart, it’s okay. Just come home to me.”
Tommy is waiting for Buck when he opens the door to his loft, a concerned look on his face. “Evan.” Tommy pulls Buck into his arms, and Buck sags into his embrace. Suddenly, what Tommy said before makes sense. Come home to me. The exhaustion is finally catching up to him, both physically and emotionally. “Come here, baby. Sit while I finish cooking. I haven’t been here long, so it’ll be a while until the lasagne is finished.”
“Eddie called you.” Buck’s voice is muffled by Tommy’s chest, but Tommy is rubbing a soothing hand on his back, and Buck can’t bring himself to move away.
“Of course he did. He knew that you would try to minimize your own feelings so that I wouldn’t worry. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do that. I can take it. I get it.”
Buck can feel himself start to tear up. “You’re so good to me.”
Tommy kisses the top of Buck’s head. “Just let me take care of you, sweetheart.”
Buck sits at the kitchen island and watches Tommy, so comfortable in Buck’s home. It’s amazing that they’ve gotten here at all. Buck gets to sit in his own kitchen and eat lasagne the way Tommy’s nonna used to make it. How did he get so lucky?
5. Words of Affirmation
Tommy is tense after the medal ceremony. Buck gets it. He hadn’t been around for Gerrard’s reign of terror, but Buck has heard enough about it from Hen and Chim to know that it was pretty awful. The man was a racist, sexist asshole, and back then the rest of the team hadn’t known what Tommy was going through with his sexuality.
When they get back to the loft, Buck grabs a couple of beers and ushers Tommy out to the balcony. It’s a beautiful evening.
They sit in comfortable silence as they watch the sun set.
When Tommy finally speaks, he sounds pensive. “I didn’t expect it to affect me so much, seeing him again.”
“I can only imagine what it was like working under that piece of shit. You didn’t deserve that.”
“What if I did? I was a piece of shit too.”
“Hey, no. Absolutely not. You don’t get to talk about my boyfriend like that.”
“Evan, it was not great.”
“If you really were that awful do you think that Hen and Chim would like you so much? I’m pretty sure they didn’t even like me at first.” Buck had been a bit of a mess as a probie. He had been searching for something that he didn’t know how to ask for. “Baby, I’m so proud of you. To work under him for so long and still become the man you are today… You’re amazing.”
“I was part of the problem.”
“You were scared.”
Tommy deflates. “I was.”
“I’m sorry that he was here today. That’s fucked up. He shouldn’t be anywhere near our family.”
“Your family.”
“No, our family.” Buck squeezes Tommy even harder. “You know you’re stuck with us now. Stuck with me.” Buck leans back so he can look Tommy in the eye. “Actually, I had an interesting conversation with Hen earlier. You weren’t going to tell me she and Karen gave you the shovel talk?”
Tommy gives Buck a small smile. He’ll take it. “It was less shovel, more… trowel? Spade, even.”
“They like you a lot. They all do.” Buck is still getting used to the bisexual part of himself, but he’s also experiencing other new feelings with Tommy. He feels comfortable and settled, and loved. Tommy has been showing Buck how much he loves him for a while now. Buck takes a breath. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Of course I do.”
“Right. Yeah, I’m starting to get that.”
“Is this our Star Wars moment? You got the lines wrong.”
“Is this a bad time to say that I haven’t seen the original Star Wars?”
“Evan.”
Buck sighs. “This is just so new for me. I mean, not the Star Wars.”
“I know. And I am so proud of you for how you’ve come to terms with your sexuality.”
“No, I-- Well, that too, but Tommy--” Buck pauses, unsure. “I-I-I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never felt like this for someone before. Fuck, it’s scary sometimes.”
“Oh, Evan. Evan, I know. I feel the same.” Tommy caresses Buck’s cheek, soft and affectionate. With love.
“I love you.”
Tommy smiles. “I know.”
“I’ll let you show me that movie now.”
“Oh, we’re watching the whole trilogy.”
Buck laughs. He is so in love with this man. “What if I said I haven’t watched the prequels either?”
”Well then I would say we have the next 48 off and I’m prepared to give you the full experience.”
“Yeah, I’m counting on that.”