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One moment Morph was with the X-Men fighting some portal using villain out on the front lawn of the mansion, the next Morph was still on the front lawn of the mansion, but it very clearly was not the same lawn they left. For one, it was sunny here, and two, there were children running up to them.
“Did you make that portal?”
“You popped up out of nowhere!”
“Can you do that again?”
Somehow Morph ended up in the Professor’s office. It was a bit of a blur. Morph suspected some kind of teleporter.
To Morph’s surprise Storm walked in through the door and took a seat behind the desk. She didn’t look exactly like Storm though. The woman in front of him had short hair and lines on her face. She took off a pair of reading glasses as she addressed Morph.
“We were wondering when you would get here.”
Morph pointed at theirself, “Me?”
“One of our students is clairvoyant and predicted your arrival. You are not from this universe, correct?”
“That would make a couple things make sense,” Morph said.
“And I assume you are looking for a way home?”
“That would be great, actually.”
“I believe Wolverine has the means to get you home and is on the way here now.”
First another Storm and now another Logan? Who else was Morph going to see?
“What is your name, I am Ororo Munroe.”
“Yes, I know,” Storm looked confused, “I know you back home. We’re friends.”
“Ah, well I’m afraid I have yet to meet you in this universe.”
Morph moved to sit down in one of the chairs across from her, “Everyone calls me ‘Morph’.”
“Well, Morph, it’s nice to meet you. Can I ask how you came to be here?”
“You know, I would like to know the answer to that question myself.”
Just then the door creaked open and a teenage girl with dark hair walked in. She stared at Morph like she was looking for weaknesses.
“Wolverine, thank you for joining us.”
“THAT’S WOLVERINE?” Morph shouted.
The two women took it in stride, “Yes, this is Laura, code name Wolverine.”
Morph was having trouble wrapping his mind around Logan as a teenage girl, “Sorry, it’s just where I’m from, Wolverine looks a little different.”
“Is he a old man that’s a grumpy alcoholic?” the teenager asked.
“Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that.”
“You’re thinking of my dad. He’s retired.”
“Retired?”
“Laura’s father is from another universe as well,” Storm added, “He likely knows a way to get you home.”
Morph followed Laura out of the mansion, the hallways having been built differently than back home. It seemed intense was Laura’s default expression, as it never changed. The more Morph looked the more he could see Logan’s features in her.
They walked into the garage and Laura seemingly chose a set of keys at random and walking towards the car that’s lights flashed. Laura got in the drivers seat.
“Are you old enough to drive?” Morph tried to joke. She stared at them until they got in the car.
Laura pulled the car out of the garage and onto the road.
“So,” Morph tried to strike up a conversation, “where we going?”
“Into the city. About two hours drive.”
“Huh. So Storm mentioned your dad is from another universe.”
“Yes,” She side-eyed them.
“Why is he living here?”
“Because everyone wants him dead in his home universe.”
“Oh,” Morph didn’t know how to respond to that. “How about your mom. Did he meet her here?”
“I don’t have a mother. Or I had several. It depends how you look at it.”
What on earth did that even mean?
“I’m so confused.”
“I’m a clone. A clone of Logan.”
“Ah, that makes sense,” It made no sense whatsoever. Morph started playing with the radio dials, “Do you like music?”
“I have been told I like ‘dad rock’.”
“What’s he like, in your world?”
“Who?”
“Logan. Tell me about him.”
“Well…”
“-and then we- wait. Is that a smile?”
“You have a massive crush on my dad.”
“WHAT. No, no, no. We’re friends.”
“You want to be more than friends.”
“Wha- you- no- ugh!” Morph stuttered, “I’m not talking about this with a version of his daughter.”
“Don’t worry,” Laura’s smile didn’t fade, “You’re his type.”
“His type?”
“Funny.”
“You think I’m funny? You haven’t laughed once this whole trip.”
“I think you’re hilarious.”
Morph was surprisingly touched by that, “Thank you. But I’m pretty sure his type is redheaded women.”
Laura snorted.
“What?”
“Everyone always thinks that. I don’t know how everyone assumes my dad is straight.”
“Is he- is he not?”
“Considering he’s married to my step-father, I feel pretty confident about that.”
Morph choked on their spit. They didn’t know what was more surprising, that Logan was married or that Logan was married to a dude.
“My step-dad is the one with the universe hopping device. He’s the one you gotta suck up to.”
“How do I do that?”
Laura shrugged, “Don’t piss him off?”
Morph slouched in their seat, “Great. Who’s your step-dad anyways?”
“Wade Wilson.”
“LOGAN IS MARRIED TO DEADPOOL?”
“You’ve never had Klondike?”
“No.”
“We have to fix that. When I get dropped off the first thing I’m gonna do is go to the freezer and hand you a Klondike. Consider it payment for helping me get home.”
“I’m confused, are you Mexican or Canadian?”
“My father is Canadian. I was created in Mexico, spent the first ten years of my life there. I spent the next three years in Canada, then I was sent to the Void. I spent at least two years there. And now I live here, in the States.”
“So, you don’t know?”
“I don’t know.”
“What’s Mexico like?”
“Do you go on missions Morph?”
“Yes,” that was the first question she’s asked the whole trip.
“I have a mission for you, once you get back home.”
“Is it in Mexico?”
“Yes.”
Laura drove through a bad area of town and parked in front of an apartment building that was falling apart.
Laura led the way up the crumbling steps to the third floor. She pushed open the door and the first thing Morph noticed was all the claw marks on the walls. The second was the blood stains. Third was the shear amount of Hello Kitty merch.
“Who’s there?” a woman’s voice called out. She must be the roommate Laura mentioned.
“Just me, Al. I brought a friend. We need to speak with Wade.”
The woman rounded the corner then, “The boys are out on a job. Left last night and haven’t come home yet.”
“Will they be back for dinner?”
“They better. Wade’s hosting tonight.”
Laura heard them when they got to the building and announced they were here. Morph was sitting next to Laura at the table and quickly shifted into her.
“Think they’ll notice?”
Laura smiled.
“Notice what?” Al asked.
They made a lot of commotion coming through the door, their boots stomping on the wood floor as Deadpool chattered away. The were covered in blood spatter. Laura mentioned they were mercenaries.
This Logan was taller and had shorter hair, but was just as muscular as the Logan back home. He walked immediately into the bedroom, only sparing them a passing glance. Deadpool, on the other hand, noticed right away. Standing there sans mask with his mouth dropped open as he silently pointed back and forth between Morph and Laura. Laura held a finger to her lips and Deadpool caught on, shifting so he was leaning against the wall. Logan came back dressed in civilian clothes. He dropped a kiss on Laura's head and a second one on Morph's as he passed into the kitchen. Deadpool covered his mouth with his hand, clearly suppressing laughter.
Logan returned about forty seconds later, spatula in hand, and looked between Laura and Morph with the most confused expression on his face. Deadpool burst into laughter.
"Can you tell who's who?" Deadpool asked.
Logan took a big sniff. His eyes darted to Morph before looking to Laura. He put his nose in Laura's hair, right next to her ear, and started sniffing loudly. Laura was valiantly trying not to crack a smile. Logan took a deep breath and blew a raspberry on the side of Laura's face. Laura erupted into laughter.
Morph was momentarily blinded by the pure affection in Logan's smile. His eyes shown with love. Morph had to find the Laura in their world and bring their Logan to meet her.
"Hmm, this is the real Laura," Logan poked her in places she must have been ticklish based on her reaction. He placed his hands on her shoulders as he stood up, "So who's your friend?"
Morph shifted back into their base form, "I'm Morph, and I was told you two can help me get home."
Wade insisted Morph stay for dinner, "Its taco night and we're hosting!" so Morph stayed. It was interesting watching another Logan simply exist. Morph spent the time talking to Al on the couch as some reality show played in the background.
"Wade, Morph needs your help. He's got a massive crush on his universe's version of Dad."
"Laura!" Morph hissed.
Wade was going to kill them now for having feelings for (a alternate version of) his husband. And Deadpool back home wasn’t known for being merciful. Morph was never going to get home.
Surprisingly, Wade looked delighted.
"Oh, ho, ho! You've come to the right place, my friend. I am the master in the art of wooing and seducing the Wolverine."
Logan, still in the kitchen, laughed so hard he snorted.
"Don't laugh! I landed you didn't I?"
"No you didnt!"
"Logan. We're married."
"That doesn’t count!"
"Doesn't count? We were lawfully wedded in a beautiful ceremony-"
"It was three A.M. in Vegas and I was drunk as a skunk. The officiator was Elvis."
"Like I said, a beautiful ceremony-"
They continued arguing back and forth, sounding every bit a married couple. Morph thought seeing Logan like that with anyone would hurt their heart, but they found themself happy that out there was a Logan who had this.
"So I was thinking we put Morph in some of Dad's clothes and try and see if we can trigger a response in his version of Dad."
"Hmm, I think that’s a good call. Peanut totally overreacted when I can home in those borrowed clothes."
"I wasn't that bad!"
"Yes you were!" the three other residents shouted back at him.
"Dad flipped out and made Wade take three showers while he fabreezed the whole place."
"The whole apartment smelled like cleaning solution for a week. It was awful," Al added.
“He made me dress in his clothes and possessively followed me around for days.”
Logan stayed in the kitchen and didn’t respond.
“Why Logan’s clothes?” Morph asked.
“Because Wade’s smell like cancer,” Laura answered, “We don’t want to concern your version of Dad.”
By the time the first guest showed up Morph was dressed in some of Logan’s old clothes that Wade had been trying to toss for a while. Morph was in a pair of jeans, a tank top, and a plaid flannel. Laura rolled the flannel’s sleeves up to hide the blood stains.
Wade was adamant about making the too big shirt look like it was falling off Morph. He buttoned the bottom three buttons and shifted the collar until it exposed Morph’s shoulder. Morph shifted it back for the time being.
Morph had a great time at dinner. Their friends were lively, the food was great. There was one small skirmish that involved a minor bit of blood, but everyone assured Morph that was normal for these gatherings.
But eventually the night wound down and it was time for Morph to go home. Wade gave Laura the device, and she punched in the coordinates for Morph’s world. A door sized yellow rectangle appeared in front of her. She walked through first and Morph hesitantly followed.
Morph expected to stumble but found the floor on the other side was the same level as the room they left. The floor actually turned out to be a part of the dining room, where the X-men had gathered for their own dinner.
“Morph!”
“Where have you been?”
“We couldn’t find you!”
“Who’s she?”
“What did you just come out of?”
Morph walked around Laura, who had paused and was silently watching the X-Men with the same intense stare she gave Morph in their first meeting. Morph gave them all a wave and continued walking to the kitchen, Laura following them. There was the sound of chairs being pushed and clothes rustling as everyone jumped to join them.
Morph rummaged around the freezer until they found what they were looking for. Morph handed Laura a box of the ice cream bars they promised her. Laura examined the box and nodded, “I accept your payment.”
Morph smiled.
“I’ll be here to pick you up two Thursdays from now, for poker night.”
“Sounds good.”
Scott cleared his throat, “Morph, care to introduce us?”
“Oh, yeah. Everyone, this is Wolverine of Earth-10005. Wolverine, this is everyone.”
Shock rippled through the crowd. Laura turned her back to her hide her amusement, “Remember, two Thursdays from now.”
“Got it.”
“And Kev,” Laura used a nickname to raise suspicion among their audience about how close they were, a suggestion by Other-Logan. Other-Logan may have acted like he didn’t care, but he was just as invested as the rest of them in this charade to make Morph’s Logan jealous. That whole family was filled with dramatic bastards.
“Yeah?”
“When you go to Mexico, give ‘em hell.”
“Of course,” Morph planned on doing so many illegal things in Mexico, if the facility existed already in this world. Arson was currently at the top of the list.
Laura pulled the device open and hit the return button. There was a gasp as the yellow rectangle reappeared. Laura’s eyes swept over the crowd one last time before she stepped through, the yellow vanishing behind her.
“So Morph, wanna fill us in?”
Morph found themselves the center of attention as they recalled their day. Morph let the shirt slide to their shoulder as they picked at their food, having already eaten, and smugly took notice of how Logan’s eyes followed it. Logan was restless the whole time, only speaking once to ask why Morph was wearing someone else’s clothes. Hank was particularly interested in the portal device Laura had used. Jean asked about Mexico before Morph could explain the hilarious Deadpool-Wolverine family dynamic. A shame, Morph was looking forward to their reactions.
How do you tell a group of people they’re not only parents, but that their children are science experiments currently being conditioned to be weapons?
"What's the softest way to break this, um-"
Logan jumped out of his seat, "You can think about it in the shower. You reek."
Logan grabbed Morph by the arm and pulled them out of their seat before pulling them out of the room and down the hallway.
"We're gonna have to bleach the whole dining room now."
Morph tried to hide their joy at having succeeded getting a rise out of Logan, "I doubt I smell that bad."
"You smell like a frat house. Like beer and testosterone and musk."
“Well I doubt Other-Logan gave me clothes he hadn’t washed first.”
Logan jerked to a halt, “Who gave you these clothes?”
“Other-Logan. I was trying to tell you all how I got help from two Wolverines and-”
Logan cut Morph off with a growl and started pulling them along again.
“Uh, Logan? You okay?”
“That bastard knew what he was doing, sending you here like this. Trying to stake a claim on someone who’s not his.”
Morph felt warm at the implication Logan thought of Morph as his.
Logan dragged them into his room and pushed Morph towards the bathroom, the bright white light turning on. He stood in the doorway, blocking their escape. Logan crossed his arms and stared at Morph like he was waiting.
"What?"
Logan gestured at them, "Take a shower."
Morph was confused, "I have a shower in my own room."
"Your room is too far."
Morph stared at Logan. He was really being this ridiculous over some clothes.
"What am I going to wear? All my clothes are in my room."
"You can borrow mine. Now strip."
How many fantasies had Morph had that included Logan saying those exact words? Morph should at least pretend they weren’t into this.
Morph apparently took too long because Logan stepped forward and started undressing them himself, snarling the whole while. Morph was going to send Laura’s family a gift basket.
“Usually I’d say to buy me dinner first, but for you I’ll make a exception.”
Logan didn’t seem to hear the comment, to lost in his irrational need to get Morph out of these clothes.
He got pissed at the tank top and proceeded to extend a claw to cut it off Morph. Morph was living in a dream. There’s no way this was real.
When Morph was naked Logan backed up and looked them over. It was more clinical than sexy but Morph will take it.
Logan left with the offending clothes after Morph shut the shower curtain. He returned with a new set. Then Logan got in the shower with Morph. He was still clothed, but still!
Morph was gonna make some cookies to go with those gift baskets.
“You here to help me with those hard to reach places?”
After being scrubbed down by a hunky man in a wet shirt, and a ton of flirty comments that didn’t make it through Logan’s thick metal skull, Logan finally let Morph out of the shower.
Morph got dressed in the clothes Logan had brought for them, which smelled like they hadn’t been washed. Logan put his nose in the crook of Morph's neck and sniffed. Morph apparently wasn’t up to code because he left and returned with a sweatshirt he was rubbing on his face. He threw it at Morph and Morph put it on. Morph passed the sniff check this time.
Morph took a shower with Logan and now they were in his clothes. Holy shit.
Morph sat on the bed while Logan got changed out of his wet clothes, and Morph enjoyed every second of it. It was quite the experience to be wrapped in Logan’s clothes as the man was naked just a few feet away. Morph pretended to be playing with his sleeve when Logan turned around.
They returned to the dining room where everyone was still waiting, Logan orbiting around Morph like Morph might make a run for it. Morph found the possessive behavior a turn on.
Morph broke the news about their Mexico trip, and unsurprisingly everyone wanted to come. Some took the being parents thing better than others. Rogue was conflictingly excited, as she revealed she expected making a child would be impossible for her. Scott, the loss of Nathan still fresh, was looking murderous. Logan finally snapped out of his guard dog routine to freak out about having a daughter.
That night Morph woke up to Logan standing menacingly at the edge of their bed.
“Logan! What the hell!”
“You still smell like him.”
Morph sat up, “How? You scrubbed me within an inch of my life. Totally ruined the sexy atmosphere, by the way.”
Morph was a liar. Morph still found it sexy. The way Logan was locked in on them? Gave them shivers thinking about it again.
“I need to scent you.”
“You need to what?”
Logan shifted on his feet, “I need to cover you in my smell. To override his.”
“Does it have to be,” Morph looked at the clock, “done at two-thirty in the morning?”
“You can go back to sleep.”
Morph sighed, “What does scenting entail?”
“I’d cover your body with mine, rub our scent glands together.”
Logan really had no shame when he was like this. It was hot. Too bad he didn’t mean it in that context.
“Logan, are you asking to cuddle?”
Logan was silent for a moment, “Essentially, yes.”
Morph pulled the blankets away, “Fine. Get in.”
Logan crawled into bed and then onto Morph before laying down and rubbing his head against Morph’s chest. Like a cat.
Morph absently wondered if Logan was going to do this again when Morph left for poker night.
Morph fell back to sleep with Logan spooning them, grip tight like someone was going to take Morph away.