Work Text:
Dazai was sitting at his desk, mulling over what to do for today. He had no desire to get any work done, as it was mainly paperwork. Eesh. Paper, paper, paper. It was a wonder he didn’t get any papercuts. He slipped out his phone to check the time and noticed Chuuya as his phone’s background. He softly giggled, as he had taken the picture, catching Chuuya in the middle of eating pizza. Chuuya swore he would kill him for saving it, but oh well. Chuuya looked fantastically hilarious, stuffing pizza in his face.
Now that he thought about it, it was going to be Chuuya’s birthday next week, and he still had no idea what to give him. His relationship with Chuuya… was a complicated one.
They were close work partners, even earning the name Double Black. There was literally nothing and no one that could stop them. Even beyond work, they spent a lot of time together, eating at cheap ramen noodle shops and hanging out at karaoke clubs, getting wasted and singing horribly. Despite all of the time they spent together, Dazai had never spoken to Chuuya about their relationship. Were they friends? Were they something more? Dazai never knew. Emotions were a confusing matter to him. He just… liked hanging out with Chuuya and participating in all sorts of shenanigans with him. Chuuya was one of the few rare people who never looked down on him even if he raised a fuss. Chuuya simply accepted him as he was. Dazai would never admit it out loud, but that touched his heart. A lot.
But then… Chuuya liked to spend a lot of time with the Flags. It greatly bothered Dazai, as there were other people Chuuya held close to his heart. Not that he wanted Chuuya to be alone and isolated. But he was beginning to not feel as… well, he wasn’t sure. But it certainly unsettled him. These days, Chuuya seemed to be busy hanging out with them. Each time he tried to invite Chuuya out after work, Chuuya was conveniently busy and had other matters to complete with one of the Flags.
Dazai sighed as he rested his head on the desk, pouting at the thought. He didn’t dare to express any of this out loud for fear that he would sound like a little whiny brat. Oda chuckled and remarked that he was merely jealous of Chuuya being with someone else. The statement was preposterous! He-he wasn’t jealous! They- they… weren’t… they didn’t even have any relationship of that type. His heart twisted uncomfortably at the thought.
He decided to leave for the day and headed to a lonely bar. He was tempted to go to Lupin to whine about his dilemmas to Oda, but he was sure Oda would merely tease him about it with Ango. It was times like these that he realized he wasn’t quite close to anyone. At least not with anyone he’d spill his guts to. And the only person he would was conveniently ‘busy’. Right. Hmph. Stupid Chuuya. Busy again today.
In the middle of his brooding thoughts, a rude, rambunctious voice interrupted him and slapped him on the back, “Yo! Dazai, is that you?”
Dazai coughed, surprised that he was caught off guard, and cursed himself. Fuck! He was about to pull out a punch, thinking it could be an enemy before he realized who it was. No wonder he was taken by surprise.
“Albatross?” Dazai wondered what this loud guy could be doing.
Thanks to Albatross, Chuuya constantly talked about motorcycles and even owned one. It was as if Chuuya was in love with his own hot pink motorcycle. Stupid.
“Yo. You busy?” Albatross hastily asked him, darting his eyes back and forth.
“You look like your pants are on fire. What kind of trouble are you in?” Dazai assumed, knowing that Albatross tended to go crazy when driving and got himself into all sorts of problems. Not that it was an issue as they both worked for the Port Mafia, which controlled the underbelly of Yokohama, but still. It was a pain to clean up after the mess he could leave behind.
“What? No! Well, okay. Not the trouble you’re thinking of. It’s… for Chuuya’s birthday!” Albatross hissed.
“What about it?” Dazai remained calm even though his heart raced.
What kind of problem could there be? Dazai was still sorting out what to get Chuuya, but he figured Chuuya would be too busy to spend it with him. He planned to simply drop it off at Chuuya’s office and not say a word. Chuuya was too busy for him these days.
The thought saddened him, but what could he do? It wasn’t as if he could chain Chuuya to be next to him at all times. He had often threatened Chuuya with attaching a leash to that choker, but he never actually did it for real. Perhaps he needed to get a leash as Chuuya’s birthday present.
“We’re not sure where to bring him this year. We’ve run out of places, and we’re not sure what place could wow him.” Albatross explained the issue.
“So?” Dazai could care less whatever the Flags had planned for Chuuya.
“You’re buddies with him, riiight? Help us out!” Albatross nudged Dazai’s arm.
“No. We’re not ‘buddies’.” Dazai firmly denied.
He almost choked up at the denial, but remained firm in front of Albatross. Buddies. Friends. Why did those words make his heart lurch and tear up on the inside?
Before Albatross could interject, a smooth, calm voice spoke up, “Ambiguous lovers?”
Dazai blushed at the impudent word choice and spotted Lippmann. What the fuck?! They didn’t - Argh! Hearing those words pissed him off beyond belief for reasons he couldn’t quite fathom.
“N-no…! We’re not!” Dazai hotly protested.
Albatross blinked at Lippmann’s sudden appearance, “Where were you? I thought I lost you.”
“You were walking too fast. My precious legs aren’t as quick as your brute ones.” Lippmann nonchalantly remarked.
Dazai didn’t give a fuck what the two of them wanted or what they were doing. He could give a shit. He was about to slink away, thinking this was the perfect chance to leave undetected. However, he should have known better as the Flags, despite their chill, wayward behavior, were not to be messed around with. They were highly feared and part of the top dogs within the Port Mafia.
“Why don’t you help us decide which place? You should know all of Chuuya’s preferences perfectly!” Albatross snatched Dazai’s wrist and dragged him along without his opinion.
“H-hey! I didn’t agree! Eeep! Let go of me!” Dazai helplessly cried out.
However, his shouts and screams were useless. Albatross forcefully brought him along, and Lippmann didn’t even bother stopping him. Gah! These fuckers! They were in cahoots together! If it was only one of them, he might have been able to escape, but the two of them together meant he had no chance of winning. Even if he did manage to shake them off, they would catch him before long. Grrr, why did he have to hang out with them?!
“Why are we at the arcade?” Dazai asked in a flat tone after having stood there for an hour, watching Albatross scoring all kinds of expensive gifts in the claw machine.
Normally, Dazai liked to watch Chuuya waste loads of his money before possibly winning. Even though Dazai made fun of Chuuya for losing so much, he actually didn’t mind whether Chuuya won or lost. The fact that Chuuya tried so hard for him, so much for him meant more than any physical item in the world. He would rather be hanging out with Chuuya than be anywhere else in the world.
“Albatross getting sidetracked. It happens.” Lippmann shrugged, not bothered by it one bit.
Lippmann noticed Dazai was more lost in thought than bored. Could he be reminiscing? According to Chuuya, he said that he and Dazai spent a lot of time in the arcades when they weren’t on the job. Not only playing the claw machines, but also playing fighting and shooting games. To Chuuya, Dazai was one of the most important people in the world.
“Thinking about Chuuya?” Lippmann carefully asked before Dazai flared up.
“N-no.” Dazai flinched, then hastily looked away.
Lippmann chuckled at Dazai, lying terribly while fiddling with his fingers. Oh, denial on Dazai was cute. No wonder Chuuya took such a shine to this complicated man.
“Chuuya talks about you all the time.” Lippmann purposely mentioned.
Dazai blinked several times, surprised by this fact. He fiercely blushed and coyly looked away. W-what? Since when? Ugh! Fucking Chuuya! What the fuck was he doing in his spare time with the Flags?!
“O-oh. I didn’t know.” Dazai pushed some of his hair behind his ear.
“It’s almost tiring to hear the guy yap on about you.” Albatross jokingly remarked.
Despite what he said, Albatross liked to hear Chuuya vividly talk about Dazai, as Chuuya became quite animated and sheepishly boyish. It was great to see that Chuuya was full of spirit, full of life. In a different way from when he hung out with them. He had been skeptical whether Dazai was truly a good fit for him, but Chuuya proudly declared that he couldn’t live his life without Dazai. Even though Chuuya had shouted the statement while half-drunk and was embarrassed as hell afterwards, Albatross knew then and there that the two of them were really meant for each other.
In fact, the Flags, as a group, decided to do something then, to help their good old buddy who deserved something happy and meaningful in his life after all of the pain and fighting he had to go through. The mafia life wasn’t an easy one, and Chuuya especially deserved to have more in his life.
Dazai flinched, then frowned at Albatross, who was twiddling with his sunglasses that he never took off regardless if it was sunny or dreary.
“Hmph. I see.” Dazai refused to add more to the conversation.
W-what? Chuuya blabbed that much about him to other people? Thinking about it had Dazai squirming a little. Since when did Chuuya do that?
Lippmann and Albatross stared at each other before Lippmann giggled at Dazai’s behavior, “Ahem. How about we grab a bite to eat? Maybe you can give us some ideas of where Chuuya likes to eat?”
Dazai then remembered they forced him to hang out with them, using the excuse of finding a good place to celebrate Chuuya’s birthday. All of this conversation and thinking about Chuuya made him wish the real Chuuya was here. Where was that redhead idiot? Dazai missed him. Oh, no, no. Not like that. He missed torturing him and making fun of him. Hmph.
“I guess.” Dazai half-heartedly shrugged, not particularly caring where they went.
Albatross reached over and pinched Dazai’s nose to snap him out of his depressive state.
“Ah! Hey!” Dazai swatted at Albatross’ hand, then glared at him, “What was that for?”
“Come on! What’s with the frowny face? We’re not such bad company, are we?” Albatross asked.
Dazai mulled over Albatross’ question. He didn’t hate the Flags. He just… He didn’t know them on a personal level, and he disliked… well, how Chuuya spent all of his time with them lately. Like they were more important to him than he was. Thinking about it made him cringe a little, as it sounded so childish, which was unlike himself.
He was supposed to be one of the mafia’s fearsome warriors - a refined, calm, and cold-hearted killer who could make heartless calculative decisions in a heartbeat. But in reality, he was conflicted. Was that who he wanted to be? He had drenched himself in all of this blood and soaked himself in this grimy world, hoping to find the answer of what it meant to live and what it meant to be a human. And yet, he was no closer. Instead, he continued to wander in the darkness. Was he always meant for that neverending abyss?
“I’ve been standing around, doing nothing but seeing you play games. As a host, you’re doing a lousy job.” Dazai half-jokingly said, refusing to admit to anything.
“It does get quite dull when Albatross hogs the spotlight. Let’s go eat.” Lippmann chuckled, jabbing at Albatross.
“H-hey! I got you both prizes, a stuffed crab plushie and a stuffed cat! I played with you two in mind!” Albatross cried out at being poked fun at.
“Stop being gross. We’re not your girlfriends.” Lippmann rolled his eyes, then directed his attention towards Dazai, “Let’s go, shall we?”
Dazai didn’t expect Albatross, walking behind them, to still be justifying his own actions while Lippmann promptly pushed Dazai and took charge. This type of odd, casual setting. Did the Flags do something like this every time?
In the end, Dazai finally relented, after much pestering from Albatross, and told them that Chuuya had a favorite burger place, so they dined there.
“Definitely gonna get the double decker burger!” Albatross didn’t even spare a glance at the menu.
“Are you even going to be able to finish it?” Lippmann snorted a little.
“What’s with these jabs? If Iceman were here, you’d encourage him to eat more. What’s this? Favoritism?” Albatross narrowed his eyes.
Dazai tilted his head at their friendly interaction. He only ever hung out with Oda and Ango and only then would Dazai let loose. Outside of them, he mainly spent time with Chuuya in a more casual manner. This was his first time being in a normal place with other Port Mafia members. If he were to meet other mafia members, it would be in more formal places such as the training grounds or in his office. Thus, it was a bit jarring to him that he was at a casual burger joint with people he never spent much time with. Much less work with on a daily basis. He didn’t know how to process it.
“Iceman. I’ve heard he can kill anyone with anything he sees.” Dazai had heard the rumors about him although he had never seen him in action personally.
“He’s the best at assassinations. Although, ahem, best not to elaborate on such details during lunch, I think.” Lippmann demurely coughed.
“Verrryyyyy suspicious. Don’t tell me. You like Iceman?!” Albatross gasped.
Lippmann thinned his lips at Albatross’ careless comment, then launched a napkin at Albatross before stepping on his foot to shut him up.
“Yeowch! My foot!” Albatross hollered out in pain.
Dazai snorted, holding back his laughter at how stupid Albatross looked. Was Albatross right, though? Lippmann’s demeanor seemed to soften at the very mention of Iceman.
“Is he, um, handsome?” Dazai had to ask, as he was very curious.
“When he gets that serious frown, Lippmann gets all - Ahhh! Fuck!” Albatross was about to elaborate, but Lippmann kicked him in the shin, causing him to yelp and almost keel over in pain at the unexpected attack. “Goddammit! I’m not here for you to abuse! Do that with your lover!”
“If you don’t shut it, I’ll make sure you can’t use that mouth for a long time.” Lippmann harrumphed before he returned to looking at the menu.
Iceman was supposed to have joined them today, but he got pulled away with real work. The thought saddened Lippmann, but he wasn’t going to admit that out loud. Especially not when Albatross teased him about his feelings for Iceman when Iceman was too dense to even realize how he felt. Ugh. Frustrating and annoying.
Dazai let out a soft giggle, finding their interactions amusing. How odd. Perhaps Chuuya liked to hang out with them because of how honest and open they were despite working in the mafia. Chuuya must have thought of them like family.
Family.
That word to Dazai sounded so strange and unfamiliar despite knowing its meaning.
Lippmann and Albatross heard a laugh escape from Dazai, wondering what could be so funny. The whole time Dazai seemed so eager and anxious to get away from them.
“W-what?” Dazai noticed they were intently looking at him.
“Nothing. Your smile is beautiful.” Albatross remarked, smirking a little.
Ahh, there was that radiant glow hidden underneath the melancholic, forlorn expression. Chuuya definitely picked out a beauty to fall in love with.
Dazai blushed at Albatross’s compliment, something he wasn’t used to receiving without any ulterior motives. At least not from anyone else except from Chuuya. And Chuuya usually followed up with a light-hearted insult, which Dazai typically retorted at.
“Don’t flirt with him.” Lippmann jokingly said.
“I wasn’t. I was simply being honest.” Albatross defended himself.
Dazai quickly stuck his head into the menu, but he smiled slightly as he listened to them bicker. Strange. A warmth tickled his heart. It was of a similar type of warmth when he hung out with Oda and Ango. He considered them good drinking buddies to pass the time. How would he describe this feeling with the Flags? They didn’t even go drinking yet. This matter… puzzled Dazai.
Thankfully, they managed to get in their selections with Albatross ordering the largest burger on the menu while Lippmann ordered a vegetarian burger. Dazai couldn’t resist ordering his crab filled meat burger. It had been a long time since he had been here, as he only ever came here with Chuuya. He hoped they could come back here soon. Just… even spending time together would be nice. He was Chuuya’s master after all, which his little doggy often seemed to forget. Hmph.
After eating, Dazai got dragged around the mall, seeing all sorts of shops, wondering why the heck they were searching through clothes. Weren’t they supposed to be touring places Chuuya liked?
“Why are we browsing at dresses? No one here wears them.” Dazai suspiciously raised one eyebrow.
Before Lippmann or Albatross could slip in a word, one of the employees from the store remarked, “Oh, that beautiful light blue dress has been very popular with the guests. Is it for one of your girlfriends?”
“Actually, yeah! One of our buddies-” Albatross began to spew.
Lippmann shoved Albatross to the floor, who cried out uncle, and cleared his throat, “We’re just window shopping. Thank you, though.”
Dazai blinked several times. What was with that strange discrepancy? Was there some friend Lippmann and Albatross knew that had some girlfriend who loved dresses? Hm. Weird. Why did Lippmann make such a big deal out of it, though? It wasn’t uncommon for people in the mafia to date and have girlfriends.
They then toured through the other stores in the mall that Dazai swore were really meant for couples. For instance, they entered a fancy chocolate store, selling all kinds of chocolates and sweets. Dazai’s mouth watered at the strawberries covered in hot fudge, and Albatross joked about buying it for him, but Dazai immediately turned him down. If someone were to buy it for him, he’d, well, whatever. The stupid idiot that he’d accept it from wasn’t even here.
In any case, they headed to the jewelry store where Lippmann kept on staring at the shining diamond necklaces. Several times, they got approached by various salesmen, asking if they were trying to buy a pair of rings, as they mistakenly thought Albatross and Lippmann were together with Dazai as a third wheel, or the unfortunate wingman. Albatross and Lippmann gagged at the misconception while Dazai found himself chuckling at the error. It was certainly a sight to witness. Nonetheless, Dazai swore there was some secret hidden ploy going on without him knowing.
They ended up wandering through various shops and stores, not buying anything, but getting caught in shenanigans and misunderstandings. It was deathly embarrassing and over-the-top silly, but… it was relieving in a strange way. Dazai hadn’t felt his shoulders this loose in a long while. Had he been feeling too much tension lately? He was secretly lonely, as Chuuya hadn’t been around that often, but he wouldn’t ever admit that out loud.
“...What was the point of this weird trip? We didn’t go much of anywhere. Chuuya doesn’t even care for shopping that much.” Dazai pointed out, pinching his lips. “How does any of this help us find a place to celebrate his birthday?”
“Plenty.” Lippmann merely answered with a wily smile.
Dazai couldn’t decipher what was behind his facial expression. A nagging feeling kept on gnawing at his mind that he was overlooking something very obvious, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
“Don’t tell me you hated hanging out with us that much!” Albatross sighed dramatically.
“I… didn’t say that.” Dazai reluctantly responded.
Dazai could see why Chuuya hung out with them so much. Unlike others in the mafia, they still treated him as a regular person, not caring about his status one bit. Others in the mafia treated him with awe and reverence. To Dazai, it always felt odd to him, as he didn’t find anything spectacular about murdering others or deceiving his opponents. But Lippmann and Albatross, aside from the mention of Iceman’s talent once, never once discussed work or acted as if he was some feared ‘demon prodigy’. They simply treated him as he was. As though he were alive and not just a cog in some bigger machine.
Lippmann’s phone buzzed, pulling his attention away for a moment, then noticed it was Pianoman. Oooh, it was time already.
“It’s getting a little late, but we thank you for spending time with us. If you ever want company, feel free to reach out to us.” Lippmann kindly offered, then added, “We know Chuuya has been busy, but we’re always here.”
“Yeah, exactly! Don’t be a stranger. A friend of Chuuya’s is a friend of ours, too. You can count on it.” Albatross stuck his thumb up as a sign of reassurance.
Dazai was so dumbfounded by their show of generosity that all he could do was stare at them with blank eyes. He didn’t even get a chance to answer, as they waved goodbye and headed off.
They… noticed? What? The fact that the Flags, a group of people he barely interacted with, spotted him feeling sad and lonely without Chuuya’s company was… well, it surprised him. The thought puzzled him. How did they even know?
—————
After that day, spending time with some of the Flags, Dazai went about his work as usual. His mind still drifted back to the day they spent time together. Now that he thought about it, hanging out with them wasn’t so bad. Dazai didn’t know what the other members of the Flags were like, but they no doubt brought life to the group.
He then received a text from Chuuya out of the blue… wanting him to meet at that burger joint. Huh. Odd. He hesitated despite his eagerness to respond. He didn’t want to appear as if he had been waiting for Chuuya this whole time.
Someone has been ignoring their master for a while. Hmph >:/, Dazai simply texted back. As if Chuuya deserved some “loving” response from him. Did Chuuya forget who owned him?
After what felt like forever, Dazai finally received a text from Chuuya, which read, I’m making it up to you with this!!! Come on! Let’s meet up!
Dazai was further tempted to throw a fit, but Chuuya sounded oddly desperate. Hmm… Fine. Only because Chuuya sounded too pathetic. Someone needed to comfort that guy even though Dazai was reluctant to do so. He wasn’t even that close to Chuuya.
Don’t be late >->, Dazai texted back in response. Despite this ornery reply, his heart danced with furtive glee and the spring in his steps became even lighter, as he cleaned up for the day. It was about time they met up after not seeing each other for so long.
When he arrived at the burger joint, he noticed Chuuya already standing there. He was pacing around a little as if he had ants in his pants. What could be bothering him? He also spotted Chuuya holding a fancy present box, wrapped in a shimmering, glittery wrapping paper. A date? Was Chuuya going on a date afterwards? The sight twisted Dazai’s heart into an uncomfortable knot. Rude. He definitely wasn’t going to give Chuuya any dating advice.
“Chibi finally has time for me.” Dazai sarcastically remarked, approaching Chuuya.
Chuuya flinched, hearing Dazai’s soft and gentle voice floating its way to his ears. He stood up straight and scowled a bit at Dazai’s sour tone. Dammit. Sometimes, Dazai irritated him with that smug ass smile, but at the same time, he couldn’t deny that it weirdly soothed his heart. Both of the conflicting emotions battled it out inside of him. At first, Chuuya couldn’t figure out what it was until he consulted with his dear friends, the Flags. It was mortally embarrassing, but he couldn’t let this matter go unspoken. Yes, there were many unsaid words between them. Words they didn’t need to exchange because they didn’t need to say it. With their longtime partnership, they implicitly understood each other with a single flick of a finger or a simple stare.
But not this. This was too important for him to let go of.
Dazai and he had brushed against death many times. It was a common occurrence in the mafia and not unheard of. But that wasn’t what bothered Chuuya. It was the fact that maybe one day Dazai would permanently disappear from his world, and he never had the chance to express himself, to bare his heart. The regret he would certainly feel if he let it slither away from his fingers.
Despite Dazai’s mean jokes and sardonic remarks towards him, Dazai had seen the worst and the lowest of him, still accepting him as a ‘human’. There were days he didn’t see himself that way, but Dazai always treated him like he was anyone else while seeing the real him. The him that he concealed. The him that he hid away from the world.
“It’s not as if you’ve gotten any less morbid or lazier while I was gone.” Chuuya scoffed at Dazai’s comment, which countered the many thoughts running through his mind.
It wasn’t what he wanted to say, but it fell into the usual bantering they exchanged between them. The teasing that others thought was a bit too far, but it was perfect for them, and no one else needed to understand that except for them.
“As if. Someone has been ignoring their master for a long time.” Dazai didn’t fail to remind Chuuya that he had been neglecting his duties.
“I see you’re just as alive as the last time I saw you.” Chuuya said to Dazai, but to himself he thought, I was worried you might have left or disappeared, though.
He didn’t know why such anxieties took root in his heart when it was obvious Dazai, or the stinky mackerel as he often liked to call him, wasn’t going anywhere. That guy had been a part of the Port Mafia much longer than him. To them, the Port Mafia was their home, where they belonged, despite all they had to do to remain a part of it. It wasn’t normal. Not for kids at their age, as Pianoman once poked fun at Chuuya about. But it was normal for them, and that was enough for Chuuya.
“What’s with that obnoxious gift? Going to see someone afterwards?” Dazai shot at Chuuya, who looked strangely fidgety, which was unlike himself, as Chuuya tended to be full of confidence.
Chuuya wasn’t sure how to go about doing this. This was the first time. And it wasn’t even at some fancy restaurant or hangout spot. But this was the place where he and Dazai spent a lot of time aside from the arcade. But the arcade wasn’t really a good spot either.
“...It’s for you.” Chuuya mumbled as he awkwardly stretched out his arms and presented the gift to Dazai.
Dazai, for a moment, thought he had gone deaf and heard something wrong. He took a step back, staring at the flashy wrapping paper. “...What?”
“It’s for you, Dazai. Sheesh.” Chuuya sloppily shoved it into Dazai’s hands.
It was very unromantic and not touching in the slightest, but he didn’t know how to be gentle. At least not when he had no idea how Dazai felt about him in that sense. He didn’t want to make Dazai uncomfortable by overstepping his boundaries.
“M-me?” Dazai stammered a little.
Wasn’t it Chuuya’s birthday soon? Why was Chuuya giving him a gift?
“For everything.” Chuuya quietly said.
Everything?
What could Chuuya mean by that?
Dazai, with curiosity getting the better of him, began to unwrap the present box, and Chuuya merely watched him with those handsome, eager blue eyes. After ripping off the wrapping paper, Dazai recognized the name of the store. Huh? Wasn’t that the store he went to the other day with Lippmann and Albatross where they saw that blue dress? Dazai’s heart skipped a beat, as a bad feeling sunk into the pit of his stomach.
When he gingerly took off the lid, he noticed… it was… that…
“What? Is this some practical joke?” Dazai’s eyes swept across the glimmering blue dress.
“No.” Chuuya responded in a steadfast manner.
“I don’t wear these kinds of outfits.” Dazai grimaced, tempted to chug it right across the chibi’s face and perhaps also smacking him with it.
“I know. But I think you’d fit perfectly into it. You’d be as beautiful as the golden sun and the shining stars underneath the moonlight. Like you always are to me. The one true light in my life.” Chuuya didn’t waver as the words escaped from his mouth.
Dazai’s eyes widened at the sudden string of compliments Chuuya was dishing out towards him. His cheeks flushed to a bright tomato red while his heart thumped hard against his chest, almost making it hard for him to breathe. He couldn’t even cast a cruel taunt towards Chuuya, as he was rendered speechless. He could only helplessly stare at Chuuya with a stunned and surprised gaze.
This… couldn’t be happening… Could it?
“I know we usually get into fights and brawls with each other, pushing each other and even spewing vitriolic words at one another. But… I can’t imagine being with anyone else other than you. You see me as I am, and I like you exactly the way you are even if you still aren’t sure what or who you want to be. I’ll be there with you no matter what.” Chuuya declared, not knowing where this burst of courage came from and not caring if Dazai later made fun of him for it. He needed to say this.
“I…” Dazai pursed his lips together, still shocked by Chuuya’s words and the gift.
Was he really that beacon of light that Chuuya described him as? He wasn’t even sure of what he was. But Chuuya didn’t seem to mind.
Chuuya gently reached out for Dazai’s free hand and embraced it with his own gloved ones. “Can you be with me?”
Dazai gasped, knowing Chuuya wasn’t simply asking to accompany him on some trip or mission. Normally, Chuuya would be more begrudging and create a fuss about it. But not this time. Chuuya stared straight into his eyes, patiently waiting for an answer.
From the moment Dazai had laid eyes on him, he admired the way Chuuya carried himself with gusto and bravado even if it was only to conceal the fears and uncertainty underneath. That contradiction and strength within him was handsome and attractive to Dazai. He never consciously admitted it, but it was why he could never take his eyes off him.
“You’re helpless without me.” Dazai stubbornly said, slightly choking up. “Someone needs to better train you to not be so reckless.”
What was this overwhelming feeling of warmth that stirred his usually stone heart? Somehow, only Chuuya could cause him to move and act in ways he couldn’t understand. This chibi dog. He knew how to rile up his master. He hated that.
Chuuya chuckled at the cute tenacity Dazai displayed. Fuck. Only Dazai would say something like that. Had it been any other moment, Chuuya would have flicked him off, but he knew what this ornery, headstrong, and crab-loving guy meant. It was quite adorable.
He gently embraced Dazai, not wanting to hold onto him too tightly, but he couldn’t resist upon hearing Dazai’s implicit acceptance of his question. He then humorously commented, “Only when I’m around you. Only you know how to make me go wild.”
Dazai fiercely blushed at Chuuya’s taunting words, as his body shivered when Chuuya whispered into his ear. Eep! Chuuya was teasing him! How impudent of him! Dazai squirmed as the heat of their bodies melded into each other while they comfortably leaned on one another. It was as if they were in a world of their own.
“Was… did you tell the Flags to hang out with me?” Dazai asked, relishing those strong arms that embraced him.
“That was their own idea.” Chuuya nervously chuckled.
He had been complaining that he had no idea how to ask Dazai out, and the Flags decided to help him, although they didn’t exactly accomplish what they set out to do. But Albatross and Lippmann wholeheartedly, with confidence, told him that he couldn’t go wrong however which way he decided to ask Dazai. Now, he could see they were right. Those bastards.
“They were nice to hang out with, but… I… missed you.” Dazai sheepishly admitted as he averted his eyes towards the ground.
Chuuya blinked, then earnestly apologized feeling guilty, “I’m sorry. I was thinking of how… how to ask you. I didn’t want to sound stupid.”
“You-you idiot.” Dazai muttered under his breath.
“What?! I-I’m being honest here!” Chuuya defended himself, mortified.
Dazai rolled his eyes at Chuuya’s slow uptake. He couldn’t believe it. Dazai squeezed his eyes before he landed a brief kiss on Chuuya’s slightly parted lips. Geez! Why did Chuuya keep talking as if they were having a normal conversation?! He should have already swept him up in his arms and taken him already! The slow dog.
“Mmm!” Chuuya was taken by surprise, but he shouldn’t have been at all.
He slowly returned that sweet, delectable kiss, savoring the exotic flavor that uniquely belonged to Dazai. Fuck. He had imagined for so long what it would have been like to taste those soft pink lips. It was better than he thought. Damn. Would he only be satisfied with one kiss?
“Ahh!” Dazai squeaked when Chuuya carried him off his feet, holding him bridal style. “W-what’s going on?”
“Continuing this elsewhere, dummy.” Chuuya chuckled with a smirk.
Dazai’s entire face flushed, as his heart raced at the speed of light, exhilarated by the prospect of spending alone time with Chuuya. Not that he would ever say that out loud to Chuuya. “I’m… I’m not going to have to wear this embarrassing dress, am I?”
“Maybe on our first date?” Chuuya teasingly asked as he began to walk away, liking this tender moment they were sharing.
“D-d-d-date?!”
“No?”
Dazai hesitated as he scrunched up his lips. He could see Chuuya would plead with him further if he refused. Ugh! Stupid chibi. The things he did for him. Chuuya should be grateful to him. Hmph!
“O-only because I don’t want to see you pathetically begging. That’d be too depressing to see.” Dazai surrendered to Chuuya’s wishes.
“Yippeee!! Whoo hoo! Dazai agreed! Agreeeeed!” Chuuya loudly cheered, singing all the way back to his apartment while carrying Dazai.
“Ahhhhhh! You idiotic dooogggg!!!” Dazai cried out as Chuuya sprinted without stopping once.
Chuuya truly saw him as his ray of hope, his source of light. If he were to truly become Chuuya’s shining star… that meant… Dazai couldn’t stay in the mafia. Not when he was only surrounded by the looming dreary abyss that possessed their world. He would have to do something instead of being trapped by the chains of darkness that he was bound to. Even if Chuuya would be angry at him.
For Chuuya, he would do anything and everything, as Chuuya was the only one who held the key to his heart.