Chapter Text
Living with Lexa was feeling more easier, common, and natural. Not only that, but Clarke found that she really enjoyed Lexa's company even when they were just simply hanging out drinking coffee together in the mornings, or watching TV in the afternoons. Lexa listened to her, she paid attention, and their conversations flowed so easily.
They just clicked.
She had less anxiety about their daily interactions, but that didn't mean that Lexa didn't still send Clarke flirty texts, inconspicuous smirks, and secretly teased her every now and then.
Clarke was just getting used to it now (and perhaps enjoying it quite a bit, but no one had to know that).
LW206: That was amazing. You should make dinner more often.
Lexa had sent her after Clarke had made them all a 'Garlic Parmesan Chicken with Rotini Noodles' dish when they were all home one evening, and she smiled as she sat on her bed in her room, drawing on her tablet.
C_Griff: Thank you. I do like cooking actually
LW206: Yeah? You're good at it.
LW206: I wonder about something though...
C_Griff: What?
LW206: If you taste just as good as your food does.
C_Griff: Omg shut up Lexa
LW206: Hahaha :P
However, she couldn't force away her smile, or the fluttering butterflies in her tummy.
Even though she was becoming somewhat used to Lexa's flirty behavior and words, they still had quite the effect on her, making it hard not to think about the brunette often in the safety and privacy of her own head.
Sometimes, she even caught herself fantasizing, but she didn't force them away as much as she did before.
It didn't quite help when she was physically near her, either, and it made Clarke more conscious and aware to just about everything to the girl and what she did.
For example, whenever they were all moving about in areas like the hallway or the kitchen—getting ready for work, or getting food, or the other—whenever she would pass by Clarke in the small spaces, she would gently place her hand against her hip or the small of her back and slide by.
Normally, that sort of touch was usually unwarranted by strangers, or just went unnoticed among friends, but with her...it made Clarke's skin tingle every time.
Obviously, she wouldn't show it, but she knew that Lexa was aware of what she was doing, because she never saw her do it to Raven, and she clearly didn't do it to her sister.
And if she were to be completely honest, sometimes she would secretly initiate the touch by always taking the opportunity to stand in the way when she could.
Was she possibly testing the waters? Walking along the edge? Inching toward the line?
Perhaps.
But if anything were to be pointed out, brought up, or questioned...then she would deny it, of course.
“Excuse me,” Lexa said one morning, moving to slip passed Clarke, who was standing in front of the bathroom mirror as she brushed her teeth before work, and she felt her body temperature rising, as well as the heat in her face, as Lexa grabbed both sides of her hips with her hands, as if to keep her in place against the counter, while she slid her body against hers to get by as she reached in to grab her hairbrush that was left on a shelf, before sliding against her again to get back out.
Clarke watched as she walked away with a smirk on her face, and she could feel a smile beginning to tug on hers.
She just hoped no one would ever notice.
* * *
Clarke stood in front of the coffee machine, waiting for her cup to finish brewing as usual, when she heard the familiar shuffle of feet behind her.
“Hey,” she heard the recognizable, sleepy, breathy voice behind her.
It had become a normal routine for both of them to wake up before the other two on the weekends, and spend these little moments together in the kitchen.
“Good morning,” she turned towards Lexa, giving her a soft smile in return. “I didn't wake you, did I?”
She hadn't meant to wake up as early as she did, but her pained bladder forced her to get up, and she didn't want to go back to bed for fear of oversleeping.
She should really stop drinking liquids right before bed.
“Nah, I crashed out pretty early last night, actually,” Lexa said, standing a couple of feet behind Clarke.
She knew she was waiting for her to finish with the coffee machine to get her cup, but Clarke was feeling somewhat...unusual today.
Perhaps it was due to another certain dream she had.
So, instead of moving aside to allow Lexa to grab a cup like they always did, she decided to get one for her.
She opened the cabinet, and rose up on her toes (since the coffee cups were on the second shelf), making sure to stretch and reach up as much as she could, feeling her tank top riding up, and knowing that her sleep shorts were rather short and tight, before she grabbed a cup and relaxed back down to turn around and give it to her.
“Here,” she smiled.
Though her features were still sleepy, Lexa softly arched a brow at Clarke as she reached out and took the cup.
“Thank you...” she said with a slightly amused and curious tone.
“No problem,” Clarke said, perhaps with the faintest hint of a flirtation in hers, and turned back around to grab her own cup and move aside to finish fixing up her coffee.
As Lexa stepped forward to start her coffee, Clarke glanced over while she was stirring in her creamer to see Lexa eyeing her curiously. So, she took the spoon out, flipped upside down, and placed it in her mouth, sliding it out clean from between her lips, acting as if she didn't know Lexa was watching her.
When she looked up, however, she found Lexa's eyes zoned in on her mouth before they rose up to meet hers.
“What?” she smiled innocently with a raise of her brows as if she weren't doing anything out of the norm, and she could see the gears working in Lexa's head as her eyes took in what she was seeing; a slight smirk gently beginning to tug at the corner of her mouth.
“Nothing,” Lexa simply said with a soft shake of her head.
Clarke refrained from snickering, unsure of what had come over her this morning, but covertly enjoying the reaction she was receiving; wondering if this is how Lexa felt when she teased her.
But why was she doing this?
She wasn't quite sure, and a part of her almost didn't care in this moment, as if she were letting her body and feelings make the decisions instead of her logical brain.
“Could you pass me the creamer?” Lexa then asked once her cup was finished brewing, and Clarke did so with a nod.
However, she wasn't quite prepared for Lexa's next move, and she somewhat froze as she watched Lexa then reach over and grab the spoon, the one that had been in her mouth, from her hand, use it in her cup, before she took it out and also stuck it in her mouth.
Clarke could feel her cheeks reddening and her stomach tensing up with fluttery butterflies as she watched Lexa pull it out clean from between her full lips; staring at her with playful eyes.
“Thanks,” she said, and with a smirk and a wink, she handed the spoon back to her, and walked out of the kitchen with her coffee.
Clarke simply stood there holding the spoon, before she looked down at the floor with an annoyed, yet amused smile.
Damn.
She had basically bested her once again.
* * *
She wasn't sure when this became a game for her—or, more perhaps, when she began to participate in the game, but it seemed like ever since the morning of the spoon incident, they were intent on getting a reaction out of the other.
Lexa began exercising more often in the living room while Clarke was around, and normally, she didn't really have reactions or even second thoughts about people exercising, but with Lexa...she just couldn't help but secretly watch her. And she was sure Lexa was aware of it, too, because there was a slight constant smirk on her face while she did so.
She was sure it was just because of the situation they were in; the underlying, undisclosed motive in their actions around the other, but seeing Lexa covered in sweat, breathless, muscles contracting, the concentrated, almost troubled yet determined look on her face...did something to Clarke's insides.
It was hot —to put it bluntly.
However, Clarke also had a few tricks up her sleeve as well, and she wasn't going to 'go down without a fight', even if she still acted like she didn't approve of this from time to time just to make sure neither of them ever actually crossed the line they were teetering on.
One evening, she came out of the shower in just a thin spaghetti strap tank and extremely short sleep shorts, to talk to Raven (who was sitting at the table eating ice cream), while she applied lotion to her limbs and anywhere she could reach, knowing Lexa would be sitting right there in the living room.
She started with her arms, sliding her hand across her collar bones and chest, but once she had moved on to her practically entirely bare legs and thighs, she snuck a glance over towards Lexa while Raven wasn't looking, and had to hide her smile behind her hair when she saw Lexa's eyes transfixed on her thighs while she ran her hands up and down them.
When she was done 'talking to Raven', and had gone back into her room, she found a message waiting for her.
LW206: Are you trying to kill me?
She didn't have to hide her smile here, and she quickly typed back.
C_Griff: What do you mean?
LW206: You know what I mean.
LW206: I saw what you were doing.
C_Griff: Sorry, I don't? I was just simply putting lotion on while talking to Raven so...
LW206: Right. I must have mistaken you 'simply' rubbing lotion all over your body as you trying to catch my attention.
C_Griff: Lmao I guess you did. It's not my fault you were looking
LW206: Wow, so that's how it's going to be, huh?
She laughed quietly to herself, but before she had a chance to reply, she got another message.
Brent: Sup :)
Brent: Haven't heard from u in a while
Her smile quickly disappeared and she nearly almost scowled to herself at him interrupting her conversation.
But it was true, she hadn't talked to him in quite a while, and she even honestly kind of forgot about him for a moment.
I guess I should reply, she thought to herself, trying to remember the last time she actually did talk to him.
Clarke: Yeah sorry, I've just been busy with school and work
Brent: It cool. Wut r u doin tomorrow night?
Clarke: Idk why?
Brent: U should come over so we can have some fun ;)
She rolled her eyes at this one, but she had to give it to him. He was always pretty blunt and straightforward with what he wanted.
Clarke: Idk I've got projects and stuff I need to work on
Brent: On a friday? Are they gonna take all night? Cause I got something u can work on all night lol
Normally, she would maybe flirt back if she were in the mood, but she honestly wasn't feeling it, at least not with him.
She wasn't sure why (or maybe she did, and she just didn't want to admit it), but thinking about doing stuff with and for him just sounded tedious and not quite as fun as it used to, because half of the time when she went over and 'hung out' with him, she was left unsatisfied and almost annoyed.
Why she used to continue to go over there in the past, she wasn't sure, but now she felt like she could go without seeing him at all and she would be fine with it.
Clarke: Lmao, sorry, but they might so...
Brent: Come on. I miss that mouth and body of urs
She lightly grimaced, not finding his words sexy or appealing.
At least Lexa was more alluring with her words, but she wondered if it was just because Lexa was something she couldn't have that made it more appealing.
If only she hadn't become friends with Anya.
LW206: Wow, leaving me on read, too? You're such a tease.
She found herself instantly smiling again.
C_Griff: Sorry, I got distracted lol
LW206: Looking at pictures of me again, huh? I know, I'm irresistible.
She almost laughed out loud, shaking her head as she began to reply again.
C_Griff: Omg shut up. I wasn't looking at your pictures dork
LW206: No? Then what were you doing? Something you shouldn't be? ;)
And just as instantaneous as flipping a light switch, Clarke felt herself becoming turned on.
C_Griff: Wouldn't you like to know
She wasn't sure what it was that was allowing herself to become more bold and daring with her messages these days —perhaps because she was finding it true that Anya did not look at Lexa's phone at all, and the fact that they hadn't exactly been caught texting each other, and though there was still a slight warning going off in her head, it was becoming more and more faint in the back of her mind.
LW206: I would, actually.
Clarke laid back against her pillows, slightly squeezing her thighs together as a faint ache rolled between them.
She knew Anya was gone at the moment as she had said she had to run over to a co-worker and friend's house to check and feed their pet bearded dragon while they were away, and she felt her bolder, daring side pressing under the surface.
C_Griff: What do you think I was doing?
She felt her heart pick up it's pace, her body becoming excited and anxious as she watched Lexa's little Snapchat avatar sit there for a moment, before indicating that she was typing.
LW206: Hmm...clearly something with your hands.
C_Griff: Perhaps
LW206: Specifically your fingers, right?
She felt her stomach clench with nervousness.
Was she really doing this?
Anya doesn't look at her phone...and she's not here right now...
C_Griff: Yes, my fingers were doing something
LW206: I've got about three ideas of what your fingers could have been doing that was keeping you from texting me back, but why don't you show me instead?
Another wave of fluttering anxious butterflies rolled through her as Lexa has never asked her to send any kind of pictures before, and she surprised herself as she began to consider sending something.
It was Snapchat after all...and she would know if Lexa took a screenshot...
Maybe she could just send something that might suggest teasing, but also look like it was nothing? But what?
Her brain quickly began to try to think of ideas, and as she looked over and saw her tablet sitting there on her nightstand, she reached over and grabbed it. She propped a knee up to rest the tablet on her left thigh while the other one was stretched out on the bed, but she made sure her shorts were slightly down passed her protruding hip bone just enough, and that the bottom of her tank was pulled up, yet still visible as she held her phone up to take a picture.
She took a few shots to try to get the angle just right, wanting the small gap of the waist band of her shorts stretched over her hip to be in sight, but still look natural, and when she finally got a picture she thought was decent enough, she added a caption that said: “just drawing on my tablet :)” and she felt her nerves spike as she selected Lexa's username.
Then, with a racing heart, she tapped 'send'.
She waited and stared at her screen anxiously, chewing on her bottom lip as she watched the notification for the chat go from 'sent' to 'opened'.
She couldn't believe she had just done that, but at the same time it was thrilling, and only causing her secret arousal to grow at the thought of Lexa seeing it; already desperately wanting to know her reaction.
Finally, she began to respond, but Clarke dared not go into the chat until she was done typing.
LW206: O_O uhm...
That was all she typed, and Clarke felt her face become extremely hot, biting her bottom lip before a wide grin tugged it out from between her teeth, and she literally giggled quietly to herself.
C_Griff: What? What's wrong?
She was going to play it off innocently.
LW206: Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.
LW206: I might need to go shower. Yup.
She was about to respond again when she heard the distant sound of the front door opening and closing, but it was the sound of Anya's muffled voice that snapped her right back into reality, and automatically, a slight panic and cautiousness immediately set in; the logical side of her brain crashing through like a tidal wave.
Anya.
Her friend, and Lexa's sister.
Her bigger, scarier, meaner, older sister.
She should stop before she gets too far, as she could only imagine in her worst nightmares of what would happen if Anya just so happened to catch a glimpse of an even remotely suggestive picture of Clarke on Lexa's phone, and any and all playfulness and arousal of hers was squashed within seconds.
What am I doing? I shouldn't be doing stuff like this! She scolded herself, becoming angry that she let her self control slip up and allow herself to do such a foolish and careless thing.
She quickly backed out of the app without responding, and decided she wasn't going to for the rest of the night, and just stay safely in her room.
She didn't even bother to message Brent back.
However, she felt kind of dumb, maybe even like she was overreacting, but just knowing that Anya was there put herself right back on the edge.
It always felt that way when she knew Anya was right there, but she couldn't help it, even if it seemed rather unfair.
Wait, why? It's not like anything is going to happen between us. Clarke thought to herself as she lied in her bed.
Lexa was Anya's sister, and she was always going to be her sister. Nothing would ever change that, which meant that nothing would ever happen between them. Not unless Clarke wanted her face mangled by Anya's fists.
But would she really actually hurt me if I tried to date her sister?
Her mind immediately replayed all of the horror stories of people trying to hit on Lexa in the past, and a wave of fear coursed through her.
Yes, yes she would.
But it just wasn't fair.
She shouldn't get to control Lexa's life like that, Clarke thought with a huff, thinking back on what Lexa had said about Anya dictating her life, and when her phone lit up and a notification from Lexa was displayed on the front, instead of ignoring it, she reached out and grabbed it to look.
It was a Snap of Lexa, simply posing in front of the bathroom mirror not really doing anything in particular, with a caption that said: “You must have fallen asleep or gotten distracted again, but just know that you made my night and now I have to take a cold shower (jk...ish). Have a good night, love.”
She smiled to herself at the message and even more so at the pet name, and decided to respond through text so that Lexa wouldn't get too worried, or even possibly get upset if Clarke revealed that Anya coming back home basically stopped the moment.
However, she felt like she just needed to stop overthinking it so much, because they both knew nothing was going to happen between them.
They were just friends being playful.
Just friends.
C_Griff: Haha, you're silly. Goodnight
* * *
Surprisingly, Lexa didn't push Clarke for any more pictures or anything as she assumed she would.
She remembered back to the beginning of when she was talking to Brent and the first time she had sent him a picture of her body in her underwear, and he pressed and pressed for more pictures often after that (and sometimes still does, but she hasn't sent him anything in so long), and though it was fun at first, she got tired of him asking for 'titty pics' and nudes.
But with Lexa...she didn't, and it almost made Clarke want to send her more, for some reason. She figured though that it was because of the same reason; she was something she shouldn't have.
Wait, when did I start wanting her?
She didn't get to think on that thought for long, however, when Raven entered the kitchen where Clarke was currently eating breakfast before she had to leave for work.
“Oh, good you haven't left yet,” she smiled, and Clarke raised her brows with intrigue.
“What's up?”
“I forgot to tell you that my little cousin is having her Sweet Sixteen tonight. We're leaving work early, but we're packing bags because we're going to spend the night at my aunt's house so we don't have to worry about trying to sober up enough to drive back,” she chuckled, “So, it's just going to be you and Lexa tonight, and we'll be back probably around the afternoon.”
Immediately, Clarke felt her stomach clench with nervousness.
“O-Oh?” she asked, trying to play it cool and calm.
“Mhm,” Raven nodded excitedly, “You know how my family likes to party, and it would just be easier if we spent the night, so...enjoy a break from us for once!” she teased with a chuckle, and Clarke forced a laugh as well, hoping Raven wouldn't pick up on the anxiousness in it.
Her and Lexa? Alone?
All night?
Oh boy.
“Does uhm...does Lexa know you guys are leaving?” she asked coolly, and Raven shrugged.
“I dunno if Anya's told her or not, but you can tell her if she hasn't,” she said nonchalantly, because she had no reason to be nervous about it like Clarke did, and she looked at the time on her watch. “Ugh, Anya better be done packing, we gotta leave for work soon,” she shook her head, “Anyway, text me if you need anything, and I'll see you tomorrow! Love you, bye!” she said, and headed off towards her room again.
Clarke swallowed hard, and as she grabbed her keys to finally head off to work, she could feel her nerves slowly growing with each second that passed.
Today was going to be a long day.
Finally, she was headed home, and if she thought her nerves were bad this morning after receiving the news that she was going to be all alone in the apartment with Lexa...they were tripled now.
She had to wipe her palms off on her jeans from all the sweat as she gripped the steering wheel rather tightly, and when she made it to the apartment complex parking lot, she sat in her car for a moment.
Though she had been rather busy today, she felt like she kind of purposefully ignored her phone, so that way if Lexa didn't know that Raven and Anya were leaving for the night, she could tell her last minute and play it off like she didn't know that Lexa didn't know, and that she had been too busy to message her.
Maybe I'll see if Octavia and Lincoln want to come over again, or maybe if Harper wants to go out. She thought to herself, trying to find something that would keep her or both of them busy throughout the night.
Why? Because she was afraid of what might possibly happen, especially when she thought back to the night that they had been drinking, and they were left all alone in the living room.
It wasn't that she was afraid of Lexa doing something —oh no.
She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to stop herself this time.
However, when she made it up to the apartment and checked her phone after messaging Octavia while she was still in the car, she internally sighed with slight annoyance that Octavia had messaged her back and said that her and Lincoln had already made plans to go out to dinner and see a movie as a sort of date night.
So, she messaged Harper and crossed her fingers.
Thankfully, Lexa wasn't home from work yet, and Clarke hadn't opened any of her Snaps or chats on Snapchat all day, but she finally did, and she was kind of relieved to only find silly pictures of her at work and talking about random things from throughout the day.
She was about to respond when she saw Harper had messaged her back, and she opened it eagerly.
Harper: Sorry, babe, I can't tonight! I gotta take my friend Sarah up to the airport early in the morning! Xoxo
Damn. She thought to herself, and froze when she heard the front door open.
“Oh, hey you,” she heard Lexa greet her, and she turned around and smiled casually.
“Hey.”
“What's up? How was work?” Lexa asked as she set her stuff down, and Clarke shrugged.
“Oh, you know, busy Friday. Nothing really exciting,” she shrugged. “What about you?”
“Well, if you didn't ignore my Snaps and messages all day, you would know,” Lexa teased quietly as she walked passed her towards the kitchen to set down her travel mug in the sink.
“Oh, yeah,” Clarke chuckled, trying not to sound nervous as she held up her phone, “Sorry, I just opened them.”
“It's alright. You're good,” Lexa smiled warmly, and then looked passed Clarke towards the front door for a moment where everyone usually hung their keys and things, and then looked at her with questioning eyes. “Are they not home yet?”
“Uhm...” Clarke trailed off, fighting back her nervousness, and feeling silly about it at the same time, “N-No, they're...uh, Raven's little cousin is having her Sweet Sixteen tonight, but they're going to spend the night at her aunt's house, so...”
“So...” Lexa trailed off and paused for a moment as she stared at her.
“It's just going to be you and I tonight,” Clarke blurted it out, and waited anxiously to see Lexa's reaction.
“Really...” she said, though it was more in an intrigued thought rather than a question as her eyes drifted away, and then she looked back up at Clarke and smiled.
Here it comes...
“—We should go out, then,” Lexa said with a hopeful expression, and this actually caught Clarke off guard.
“What?” she uttered.
“We should go out, you know, get an Uber, have a few drinks, and just have fun,” Lexa shrugged as if it were no big deal, opening up the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. “What do you say?”
Clarke stared at her for a moment with confusion and honestly, a tiny bit of suspicion, and Lexa raised a curious brow in return.
“You alright?” she asked, and Clarke chuckled a bit in disbelief.
“What, no flirty or teasing comment about the fact that we're going to have the apartment to ourselves tonight? No suggestive ideas or inappropriate connotations about us being alone together all night?” she boldly asked, addressing the elephant in the room, and Lexa stared at her with a humorous smile for a moment.
Then, Clarke slightly tensed up as Lexa began to walk towards her, causing her to back up slowly as she got nearer until she felt her butt bump into the table behind her, and she held her breath as Lexa stood right in front of her, staring down at her with that teasing smirk.
Despite being just a couple of years older, she felt small under Lexa's stare.
“Do I need to?” she asked quietly with a raise of her brows, and Clarke stared back at her for a moment.
Her stomach clenched with nervousness, and though she didn't want to acknowledge it, she could feel something stirring deep within her, but she tried to force herself to ignore it before she lightly shook her head.
“No,” she nearly whispered, trying to hold her ground, but she could feel her face becoming hot.
She was so close she could almost kiss her.
“Okay, then,” Lexa said in a normal tone, and straightened up. “So, do you want to go out or not?”
“S-Sure,” Clarke managed to get out, feeling like she failed to sound confident, but Lexa smiled normally.
“Great. I'm going to go freshen up and change, then,” she said happily, and disappeared down the hall.
Clarke leaned back fully against the table, and let go of the breath she had been holding.
Lord.