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I don’t trust you.
Hands running down deep clavicles of hollow skin and stopping where the torso grows thin; pulling at the pale flesh until it turns into a river of disgust. It’s resentment, the kind that turns love sour as it becomes false, a mere tale of promises that are now curses in disguise. Seishiro couldn’t bear even the thought of moving, it’d be akin to burning the trust he was given, and he’d rather perish to the torture than to do such a vile act.
It’d be his eternity, and though he is not willing, he keeps up; for he knows it is what he deserves. Not by the standards of humankind, but by the podium of ideals he carved from the twisted love entombed within his being. The act of being born human spells sin in itself, only fools bound to live timeless lives believe in true gods and goddesses. Though Nagi knows better, no being is pure enough to reach such a status, none that are comprehensible.
That’s what makes it make sense, why Nagi accepts his for-all-future punishment. He could see, he could understand, and yet despite that, he treated the one truth of all as a mere human. The audacity, the misguide; all of it he poured out as if Reo Mikage was a puny bug. … That’s an overstatement. But the hailing torture he’ll forever be subjected to, it makes it seem like that’s what he did.
As much as Nagi wished for Reo to encounter one who could communicate all, he can’t say he wouldn’t be jealous. Truthfully, he’d be envious, the kind that only a devoted follower could vest within their soul. A born contempt that no sane being could keep in tangles. He’d wish a thousand deaths on someone who could carry the cosmic-ending galacticity that was Reo Mikage. He wouldn’t regret it.
He wouldn’t silence his own soul out of shame. Had he existed beyond a mortal vessel then he’d force out all his vitriol until his words drove out the human filth. It’s a sickening trait of his; to want someone solely for himself. He cannot deny that negativity, nor will he. He accepts it, because his decisions have already made his never-ending ending, and he will forever yearn for Mikage.
The one who opened Nagi’s eyes to his own mortality in the first place. He wouldn’t be true to his existence had he not accepted Reo’s truth. Incompetent people would hold the belief that denying the candor of Reo Mikage would drive Seishiro away from the path he has already taken. They are ridiculous, and they are wrong.
Eternal damnation would birth from the human mind he refuses to let go. It’d never be right. He’d be subjected to the same torture as all else instead of an infinite hell specifically plucked from his devotion. There’s irony, romance, honesty, in the disgusting pit Nagi Seishiro will forever be trapped in. He’s both uncomfortable and comfortable.
This is his creation, and in turn, Reo’s as well. Shaped from his putrid, sickening love. This is specifically made for him, for the love he cannot let go. He won’t let go. There’s no reason for it anyway. He had been broken long ago, there’s no sanity to chip away at. His true insanity is contentment amongst suffering, due to the mere fact he has a clue who his savior is.
There will be eons that pass, universes that are born at the same time others cease to be. Nagi will be a shell of the humanity he made up. Though, he’ll breathe again at the first touches; the feeling of Reo’s hands as he presses the pads of his fingers against Nagi’s back; and pulls him out. For he is forgiven.