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Gojo Satoru is late to his own wedding.
You stand at the altar, fingers clenched around your bouquet, doing everything you can to keep from grinding your teeth. Shoko, standing to your right as your maid of honor, is shooting you sympathetic looks, while Nanami on the left looks like he"s one deep sigh away from physically dragging Satoru here himself.
Your family sits in the front row, their faces showing various degrees of irritation, disappointment, and—worst of all—pity. They"re whispering among themselves, making no effort to hide the glances they cast toward you, or the fact that they"re annoyed on your behalf.
You close your eyes for a moment, trying to block out the noise. When you open them again, your mother is already halfway up the aisle, moving toward you with a determined look in her eyes.
"Sweetheart," she says, barely acknowledging Shoko and Nanami. "It"s been over an hour. I think it"s time to accept that maybe this wedding… isn"t happening."
You stiffen, fingers going numb around your bouquet. Cancel?
Nanami sighs heavily, crossing his arms. "She has a point. Gojo"s behavior today is completely unacceptable. It reflects poorly on him, and worse, on you. We can reschedule."
Shoko snorts in agreement. "Yeah, even I"m tired of waiting, and I"m not the one at the altar. Typical Satoru."
Your mouth opens, but no words come out. You don"t speak often—as your Cursed Speech makes casual conversation risky—but the urge to say something now presses hard against your chest. Before you can figure out how to respond, you feel a tug on your gown.
You glance down to see your younger brother, Toge, standing at your side, his tiny arms wrapping around your waist in a comforting hug.
"Aniki"s late," Toge mutters, his voice barely audible.
The way he says it tugs at your heartstrings. Even your usually patient brother is starting to lose hope.
Suddenly, with perfect, almost theatrical timing, the heavy church doors burst open, slamming against the walls with a deafening thud. You don"t even need to turn around to know who it is.
"Sorry I"m late!" Satoru"s voice rings out, loud and unapologetic, echoing through the silent church.
You finally turn, and there he is, Gojo Satoru, standing in the doorway like he"s just walked in from some casual errand and not his own wedding. His hair is tousled, his sunglasses perched on top of his head, and he"s grinning like this is all some kind of joke.
Satoru saunters down the aisle, waving casually at the guests. "Miss me?"
Your family collectively groans, and you can feel Nanami"s simmering rage without even looking at him. Shoko rolls her eyes dramatically, muttering something about "classic Gojo" under her breath. You, however, stay rooted in place, fingers tightening their grip on your bouquet.
Satoru reaches the altar, looking perfectly at ease, as though he hasn"t just kept an entire wedding party waiting for over an hour. He slides up next to you, his grin widening when he sees the expression on your face.
"Hey, sweetheart," he says softly, leaning in just enough for only you to hear. "Sorry about that. Had to deal with a curse situation. You know how it is. Life of a sorcerer and all that."
You stare at him, your mouth a tight line.
You"ve gotten used to Satoru"s antics over the years, but even for him, this is too much. Still, speaking directly, even to scold him, could have unintended consequences thanks to your cursed technique, so instead, you breathe deeply through your nose and give him a pointed glare.
"Ah… right," Satoru says, catching on. "You’re upset. Understandable."
Nanami, who"s been silent up until now, finally speaks up, his voice thick with irritation. "You"re lucky we haven"t already canceled the ceremony."
Shoko nods. "An hour late, Satoru? Even for you, that"s ridiculous."
Satoru throws up his hands in mock defense. "Okay, okay, I know! But hey, at least I showed up, right? That"s what matters."
You can feel the tension radiating from the entire room, but before you can think of how to express your feelings in a way that doesn’t result in your cursed speech accidentally knocking everyone unconscious, you feel a tug at your dress again.
You glance down, and Toge is looking up at you with wide, concerned eyes. "Tuna mayo," he says softly, which is his way of saying, Are you okay?
You crouch down slightly, giving Toge a reassuring smile and patting his head. It"s a small moment, but it helps ground you. You straighten up, turning back to Satoru, who"s watching the interaction with a sheepish grin.
"Look," he starts, "I know I messed up. Big time. But hey," he adds, flashing a grin, "You know you love me anyway, right?"
You stare at him for a long moment, taking in his disheveled appearance, his unshakable confidence, and his infuriating grin. Despite everything, despite the frustration, the embarrassment, and the whispers from your family, you can’t help but feel the corners of your mouth twitch upward.
Maybe it’s because this is so typically Satoru—unpredictable, chaotic, and yet, somehow, charming in his own way.
You take a deep breath and raise your hand to his chest, pressing two fingers lightly against him. It"s a gesture you often use when you can"t speak, one that means I forgive you, but don"t do it again.
Satoru"s grin softens, and he takes your hand, squeezing it gently. "I promise," he says, and for once, there"s no teasing in his tone. "I won"t mess up again. Well, not today, at least."
Nanami clears his throat. "We"ll see about that."
Shoko shrugs. "Honestly, I"m just impressed you got here at all."
Toge, ever the voice of simplicity, tugs on Satoru"s sleeve and mutters, "Okaka."
Satoru gasps dramatically. "Betrayed by a child! I thought we were family, Toge!"
Toge just crosses his arms, unimpressed, as you all share a quiet laugh at Satoru"s expense.
Satoru turns back to you, his grin back in full force. "So, what do you say we make this official, huh?"
You glance at the altar, the officiant who"s been waiting patiently, and then back at Satoru. Slowly, you nod.
Satoru"s face lights up, and with a flourish, he turns to the officiant. "Alright! Let"s get married before anything else decides to go wrong!"
As the ceremony finally begins, you can"t help but feel a mix of exasperation and fondness swelling in your chest. Life with Satoru will never be predictable, but as you look at him now, standing beside you, you know one thing for certain: it will always be interesting.
And in his own chaotic way, you know that Satoru loves you—enough to show up late to your wedding but still make you smile in the end.
You squeeze his hand once more and and he chuckles, leaning down to kiss your forehead and whisper, "I love you, too."
Later that night, after the wedding reception winds down and everyone heads home, you and Satoru return to your shared house. You"re still wearing your wedding dress, and he"s got his suit jacket slung over his shoulder, looking as carefree as ever. He"s been trying to sweet-talk you the whole way back, as if he hadn’t shown up an hour late to your own wedding.
"Come on, sweetheart, it wasn"t that bad." He grins, nudging you with his elbow. "Everyone had a good laugh, right?"
You give him a sidelong glance, your silence speaking volumes.
"Okay, okay, maybe I pushed it a little. But hey, I made it in the end, didn"t I? That"s what counts!" He flashes his signature smile, the one that usually gets him out of trouble.
You pause at the front door, turning to look at him. For a moment, he thinks he"s won you over. You"re smiling, after all. But then, without a word, you toss him a single pillow.
Satoru catches it with a confused look. "Uh…what"s this?"
You gesture to the pillow and point to the roof.
His smile falters. "Wait, wait, wait, hold on. You"re not serious, right?" His laugh is nervous now. "You forgave me at the altar! We"re good! We"re married now!"
You shrug and head inside, but before he can follow, you turn around, blocking the doorway with your body. His eyes widen in panic.
"Come on! I can"t sleep on the roof on our wedding night! People will talk! Nanami will find out and he will never let me live it down!"
Your only response is a raised eyebrow, and you slowly, deliberately, start to close the door.
Satoru jams his foot in the door with a dramatic gasp. "But I thought you loved me!"
You don"t need cursed speech for this one. You give him a sweet, innocent smile—the kind of smile that would normally melt him on the spot. But tonight, it just spells doom for him. He knows that smile. It"s the smile that means, "I do love you, but you"re not getting away with this."
He groans. "Seriously? After all the curses I"ve fought, this is how I go down?" He leans his head dramatically against the doorframe, clutching his pillow like a lifeline. "Sleeping on the roof like a stray cat? Come on, babe, be reasonable!"
You sigh, your patience wearing thin. He"s still whining.
With a subtle tap into your cursed technique, you say the words that you"ve been holding back all night. "Sleep on the roof tonight."
The power of your cursed speech echoes through the air, and Satoru visibly flinches. His body moves on its own, turning toward the roof like a puppet on strings.
"W-wait! No! I take it back! I take it back! You don"t have to use that—"
But it"s too late. His legs betray him, carrying him toward the roof with a dramatic flair, like he"s being pulled by some invisible force. You watch as he scrambles helplessly, pillow tucked under one arm as he clambers up to his new "bed" for the night.
From the roof, you hear him groan, his voice tinged with betrayal. "But I"m your husband now! Doesn"t that mean anything?!"
You close the door, letting out a small chuckle. Behind it, you hear him muttering to himself in frustration.
"Of all the things to use your cursed speech for..." he grumbles. "Could"ve just told me you were mad! But noooo, had to make me sleep outside on the night of my own wedding!"
You hear some shuffling from the roof, and then: "At least give me a blanket! It"s cold up here!"
You open a window just wide enough to toss him a thin, scratchy blanket, watching it float up to where he"s perched.
"Thanks," he mutters sarcastically. "This’ll totally keep me warm."
There"s silence for a few moments before his voice drifts down again.
"I"m sorryyyyy!" he yells, his voice carrying through the night air. "I"ll never be late again, I swear! I"ll be early to everything! Our anniversaries, your birthday, breakfast—you name it! I"ll never mess up again!"
You shake your head, smirking to yourself, knowing full well that"s a promise he"ll break within the month. But for tonight, the roof will teach him a lesson.
From the roof, you hear a long, pitiful sigh. "I thought married life would be more… cozy. Not like… this."
Finally, after what seems like an eternity of grumbling, he goes quiet, probably giving in to the reality of his situation. The stars twinkle overhead, and for a moment, all is peaceful.
Until—
"I bet Nanami"s gonna find out and give me that look tomorrow." His voice suddenly perks up again, this time with a hint of dread. "You know the one. The "I told you so" look. Ugh, I hate that look…"
You roll your eyes, closing the window fully this time, knowing that his whining will eventually tire him out. But still, you can"t help but smile.
You know he"ll be back to his usual antics by tomorrow, but for now, he can enjoy the roof.
As you settle into bed, you can faintly hear Satoru one last time from outside.
"You"ll miss me eventually! No one can resist my charm!"
You smile into your pillow. Not tonight, Satoru. Not tonight.