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Melissa guided Aaron through their childhood home, the house their parents, once, lived in. It caused a pang in her heart, but she had to be strong. She was his older sister after all! She'd have to protect him, until he can do it on his own, or untill,,
Melissa sighed softly, prompting Aaron to hum at her “Something wrong?” She shook her head “No, don't even worry about it. Here we'll go to your ol- ..your room first” some part of her felt like it was wrong to try and remind Aaron that he doesn't live here anymore, that he has a lover, a home, his own family that he chose. He already is suffering by not remembering basic things about his life, surely it'd be so much harder on him if he had the knowledge he was already in love, that he was gonna marry the love of his life.
Melissa’s spirit wavered, she was glad Aaron couldn't see the tears that teased at the corner of her eyes. She fully wished she could help him recover as fast as possible and be happy again, but things like these take time. She wiped her eyes silently and reached forward taking Aaron's hand in hers. Something he already has become accustomed to, and felt grateful for. Some small part in him felt embarrassed for being ‘babied’, felt like a shot to his ego. Though he couldn't say exactly why he felt like that. “There's stairs ‘kay?” Melissa guided his hand to the railing and began ascending the stairs, once at the top she awaited her brother to make it up. “I feel like that was easier before.” he grumbled, speaking mostly to himself. Melissa only laughed softly, gently taking his hand again, pushing open the door to his room. She watched him roam around the room touching things, bumping into others, yet he maneuvered around as if he knew where mostly everything was.
“This is my room?” Aaron asked, shuffling over to his desk, running his hand over an old beat up laptop. “Yeah it was- is your room. That's your old laptop, from highschool.” Melissa leaned on the doorway, “You did use it until-” “Til College.” Aaron finished for her, opening the laptop, some part of him so disappointed that he couldn't see, pure muscle memory of how to use said laptop. “You remember?” Melissa asked, making her way over to him. “Vaguely, I remember I played a game on this laptop, it's how I met Shu.” He sat in the desk chair, placing his fingers on familiar spots on the keyboard, he typed in his password without one thought. “Ha, yeah I remember dad used to bust you for always being on that game.” Melissa then placed a hand on his shoulder “Would you like me to set up the audio descriptions?” Out of habit it seemed he almost said no, but turned his head slightly towards her nodding. After a bit of tapping and clicking later she tapped his shoulder letting him know it was ready. He guided over the apps installed, pausing at the familiar title of the game he used to play. “I wonder if you have any dirty secrets on here, you were kinda timid and innocent as a teen tho.” Aaron snapped his head over to her “W-What?” Melissa then waved her hands around “Ack! Did I say that out loud? My bad” She chuckled “I'll leave you be for a bit okay? Gonna go make some lunch.” She then made her way over to the door, stopping to look over her shoulder.
“Something tells me that I shouldn't let you cook.” Aaron replied, it surprised him. Feeling like someone else said it in his place, he got a laugh in return. He smiled, maybe he was becoming his old self, he hoped so.
After a bit more of snooping through his old laptop, only certain things were fully familiar while others were a little vague. One thing he did remember was that the laptop was given to him for a birthday or something, a makeup gift for some kind of fight he had. He pushed up off the desk standing to his feet, he kept his hands out feeling for his bed feeling the sheets, it felt familiar but not right. Like this wasn't where he belonged, where he was. He made his way out of his room staying close to the wall and made his way downstairs. Sniffing the air, he felt relieved to not be greeted by any foul smells. “Ah! Perfect timing. I'm almost done!” Melissa hummed happily. She was always cheery, likely for his sake, he was grateful for it but felt guilty. He's come to accept her as his sister, and remembers her slightly, atleast can recall he didn't spend much time with her when they were younger, but he wished he could comfort her.
“Oh by the way. I asked your friends about this Shu girl. Aphmau said she knows her! And now that she's out of the facility she can come talk to you about her, you remember her right?” Melissa said, setting the table, and plating food. Aaron heard the plate slide in front of him “No I don't.” He set his hands on the table either side of the plate “No I mean, when you met her back on Starlight.” Melissa giggled “Oh,,, yeah.” He felt like he was looking down out of shame, but he couldn't be too sure. She rubbed his shoulder “Goof.” As the doorbell rang he heard her dash off to open the door.
“Aphmau!!” Melissa greeted with her arms open as she tried not to weep over seeing Aphmau again. “Hey, Melissa.” She stated softly, taking steps forward to hug her. They two held onto each other for longer than they'd like to admit. “How have you been, girl?” Melissa asked after a sniff, wiping her eyes. Aphmau smiled at her softly, shrugging. “I've been good. Finally free.” She laughed softly. Melissa’s heart hurt for her, she seemed to have been aged so drastically by everything. “Come in, I just finished making lunch.” Melissa wrapped an arm around Aphmau as the two walked in.
Aphmau had to swallow hard at the sight of Aaron, clenched her jaw and breathed slowly. “Hey, Aaron.” She tried her best to keep her voice from shaking. Aaron turned his head in her direction, putting up a hand to wave. They sat in silence as they ate, only the sounds of uncomfortable silverware tapping glass. Melissa felt as though she'd burst at the seams, but this situation wasn't one she could just lighten up, and that hurt her because she wanted so badly to see them smile. Melissa gathered their plates, and Aphmau stood suddenly “I'll help you.” She helped clean up without missing a beat, she wasn't about to take no for an answer. Aaron pushed off the table and made his way to the living room. “Aphmau? What's up I thought you came to talk.” Melissa whispered as she began washing the dishes, Aphmau stood next to her “I did, I am. I just,, need a moment. On what to say, how to bring it up.” She sighed softly, rubbing at her temple. “Who is Shu? I've been curious since he mentioned her when we left Starlight.” Melissa paused to look at Aphmau. “He never? Huh, well it's not really a secret, just something between us. Neither of us really talked about it to others but, it's me. I'm Shu.” Aphmau looked away distantly “Why didn't you say that before?! Why be so cryptic??” Aphmau waved her hands, motioning for Melissa to keep quiet. “I don't know?? My head hasn't been clear for some time.” Aphmau whispered in a rushed tone. “Sorry, so when you guys said you knew each other since middle school you really meant it huh?” Melissa said in a more hushed tone.
Aaron was behind them suddenly “Everything okay?” He set a hand on the counter edge. “Oh! Yeah! Yup! Everything's good!” Melissa chuckled nervously, finishing up quickly. “Alright then! Well I'm gonna go upstairs, you guys catch-up.” She then dashed away, leaving the other two alone. “She's so weird sometimes.” Aaron mumbled, getting a laugh out of Aphmau, for whatever reason it made him feel warm. Suddenly he was filled with regret for not giving her a chance before. “Do you remember her?” The way her voice soothed him, and made his heart feel lighter was insane, how had he not noticed before? Was it because she was so weak before? “Sort of, at least more than I did before.” He felt nearly tempted to reach out a hand to her and walk over to the living room, but before he had the chance to think of something her voice interrupted his thoughts. “So, Shu. You remember her?” Her voice sounded heavy, was Shu a hard topic for her? “Yeah, we are, were? Online friends.” He felt a little stunned feeling her hand touch the back of his, then she held his hand with both her hands “Do you remember meeting her?” He felt something creep down his spine, as soothing as her voice was he felt afraid of her. Like her words could cut him down. “I met Shu?” He hated how hopeful he sounded. “I've been wanting to contact her, but that was so long ago..” Aphmau pressed softly into the back of his hand with her thumbs. He wondered if he should've felt more awkward about it, but he didn't really, it was kind of comforting.
“You actually met her in highschool. You guys were a lot closer than you originally thought.” She sighed softly “Do I still know her today? Can I see her?” Aaron brought up his other hand clasping Aphmau's in his, causing her to gasp lightly “Oh, sorry. I forget my strength.” She laughed lightly, “Didn't hurt, I just wasn't expecting it.” After a moment she spoke again. “You, ..you do. But” she paused, it seemed she was weighing her words. Aaron swallowed, he felt nervous. “How would one prove it to you? That they're Shu?” he tilted his head at her words “What? What do you mean?” he felt her tense in his hands, he readjusted their hands so hers were laid in his, he could feel her hands tremble. “You know Shu, she never told you her real name. So how would you know who the real Shu is? Do you really remember her?” He frowned at the shake in her voice, he held her hands more assuredly “Yes, I remember her. I just wanna make sure she's okay, I ha-” he cut himself off. It for whatever reason felt wrong to confess his feelings for Shu, to Aphmau. “You had feelings for her right? Fell for her personality, and hoped one day you could meet her in real life.” He heard her sniffle, he wanted to embrace her. Comfort her, a feeling he felt too often. He just wants to make those around him feel okay. “Yeah, that's right. How did you know? Is Shu close to you?” Aaron felt a little embarrassed had he already told Shu how he felt? Had he already had a chance with her, but now that he was like this… did she leave? “Yeah, I know Shu. You could say we are really similar.” She laughed sadly, were they similar? How? Aphmau seemed so calm and collected, reserved, and mature. Total opposite to Shu, well the Shu he remembered anyways. As far as he could tell Aphmau was a very serious woman.
Aphmau set a hand over her mouth, she felt so stupid for feeling so emotional. She told herself she was ready to see him, she was ready to potentially not be remembered by him. She already knew Aaron was in love with Shu, so that meant she had hope of him remembering her, but seeing him was what was really hurting her. All his void burns, all his scars, his once beautiful dark eyes now so light and lacking in their original sparkle. Aphmau fought every single urge in her body to reach out to him, hold his face, kiss his scars and assure him he’s still beautiful. Make sure he knows that no matter how much he changes, or what form he takes he is still the man she loves. She'd fight the whole world, again. Just for him. She wanted to take all his pain away, rewrite his story, let him have that normal happy life he always craved. “Aphmau, are you okay?” She felt her world fall apart, he finally called her by her name, but his voice lacked its usual feeling. Not once has she ever heard her name sound so lacking, when it came to him. Her eyes welled with tears she could hardly see. She kept it in as much as she could. She wanted to cry, cry as hard as she did that first day in that hospital bed when she realized what happened. Cry until her throat was tight, and her head pulsed in pain, till she could just fall asleep. Even if she'd breathe shakily, like some child scolded in their room. “I'm sorry.” It came out so weak and shaky, like she'd fall apart if she kept talking. She stepped beside him and she wanted to escape.
Aaron reached out and stopped her holding her by her arms, “Aphmau?” he just stood there, what the hell was he meant to do now? Hug her? Well they are friends, it wouldn't hurt would it? He slid his hands up to her shoulders and brought her in hugging her, it was so unbelievably strange how familiar it felt. He felt her clutch onto his shirt, and she began crying softly, she was crying? Had she been crying this whole time? He felt horrible, was she okay? Did she wanna leave? Was he making things worse? “I'm sorry, I can't- I have to go.” She said quickly pushing off of him. As she was trying to rush away he caught her wrist, with a force that shocked him she broke away. She was a lot stronger than he thought for such a small woman. As he listened to her rushed footsteps get farther and the front door open he heard Melissa rush down the stairs. He heard murmuring but felt it would be wrong to eavesdrop.
Aphmau felt her jacket caught behind her, she nearly ripped it out of the hands of whoever grabbed it, but when she turned it was Melissa. “Aphmau! What's wrong?!” Melissa’s face was soft brows knit together. Aphmau twisted grabbing Melissa’s hand so she'll let go of her jacket. “I'm sorry, I'm not ready. I need to le-” Melissa brought them together in a rough hug, a thud heard between the two. If Aphmau wasn't a werewolf as well she was sure the hug would've hurt her, or at least gotten a good grunt out of her. “It's okay Aphmau, I understand. Were you able to tell him?” Aphmau pulled away from the embrace and shook her head. She squeezed Melissa’s hands as she turned out the door and left without another word. Lip quivering as she held in her sobs. Her throat hurt from how hard she was holding it in.
As Aphmau arrived at her house, their house she stood at the door. Her tears dried to her cheeks, but she felt like a husk she had nothing more to give. As she entered the house she went up the stairs and removed the pictures from their frames, bringing the pictures with her to the room. She rummaged through their closet pulling out a photo album and pulling out all the pictures that involved Aaron. It made her heart full, warm and light but also twisted with yearning. Would she ever be able to make more with him? Would she ever get the chance to reminisce with him again? She smiled softly looking over each picture, tracing his face with her fingers lightly. She opened the nightstand to pull out the most recent pictures they had, the party the night Garroth changed. The pictures Aphmau took when they hiked, the night he proposed. She reached to the back of the drawer, opening the little box that held her ring. A soft sob choked out of her. She closed the box and set it at the back once again, shutting the drawer. She settled on the floor pulling out picture by picture, setting the memories up in the order she remembered. She cried softly, tears landing on the floor with quiet little taps
A lot more time passed than she had realized. She lay in their bed, holding a few pictures near her heart, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Woof plush set between the pillows. She sat up slowly, headache pulsing. How long has her head been hurting anyways? She made her way downstairs getting water from the fridge and taking some pain medicine. With a heavy sigh and a drop of her shoulders she shuffled her way to the bathroom to shower.
The shower had done hardly anything, her heart was still tainted with hurt and it weighed her down in a way she couldn’t bear to handle. It was like being a pathetic teenager all over again, but she’s not crying over the stupidity of boys. She’s crying over the love she’s lost. She found herself in their- her room again. In the closet, sitting there shaky breaths as she searched for the letter he sent her when they were apart. Irene she only got a few months with him. How could the world be so cruel? She just keeps losing him, over and over. Maybe it is a sign she should let him go, destiny wants them ripped apart. Irene’s divine judgment had them cursed, more cursed. She takes a shaky weak breath in as she rereads his letter. In another lifetime can’t they just be happy.
She settled on her knees clutching the letter to her heart, she’d let her soul swallow it whole. She closed her eyes and prayed, praying for a new world, a whole new universe where she can be with Aaron, where everything is alright. Everyone she knows can be happy, they can live any way they want. Be whoever they please and nothing could ever go wrong, she knew it was a far-fetched thought. Hoping nothing would go wrong, but if she had the power she'd relive. No
reset
the world over and over until she can just live in peace.