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"I don't believe in God, but I believe that you're my savior"

Summary:

Title inspired by Sailor Song by Gigi Perez.

Denki Kaminari and Neito Monoma, who just so happen to go to the same school wind up attending the same church. Both their parents believe it would be a good idea to end their ongoing rivalry and hatred towards one another as they believe it is 'Gods will.' However, instead of simply removing a rivalry between two classmates they unintentionally create complicated and underlying feelings between the two of them. Monoma struggles deeply with coming to terms with the fact he is gay whilst living under a strict household with homophobic parents that are the main cause for his deeply rooted internalized homophobia. Kaminari on the other hand deeply struggles to understand why Monoma is the way he is, he craves to understand, he craves to know why one moment Monoma will be all over him and the next he's disgusted by him. Things quickly take a turn for the worse after their "relationship" is exposed to their family.

or

A fanfic filled with hardships of two boys who struggle to find themselves without going against their religion.

Notes:

HEY SO I haven't posted on this account in super long, and I'm very inconsistent, so updates will be extremely slow, for this fic and anything I upload after this, I'm hoping to keep this fic and actually finish it because I put a lot of work and effort into this and have editing and writing a lot, I'm almost 10k words in! I do hope you enjoy this even though its a rarepair ship, but I love rarepairs especially this one

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Denki Kaminari was a simple guy, he liked girls, music, his friends, and liked spending time with his family. He liked plenty of things. What he didn’t like was church, along with the times where he forcefully had to sit back as his mother pulled at his hair attempting to “tame it” since according to her, his hair was nothing but a bird’s nest.

He despised appearing like a nerd with his button up shirt that was tucked into his dress slacks. His mother always claimed it was more formal that way, so whatever she said goes, he hated it, he hated his dress up shoes that gave him blisters for days that left him in agonizing pain, however, his mother also claimed he was just being dramatic and it wasn’t as big of a deal as he made it out to be.

In reality, it wasn’t as big of a misfortune as Denki Kaminari made it out to be, he tended to exaggerate a lot.

However, despite all those downsides he didn’t hate his religion, in fact he was quite the believer and really enjoyed it, his family along with himself tended to be involved with the church quite often. However, he found it insufferable when it came to sitting down and just listening for two whole hours. It tended to be the worst part of his Sundays. There was also of course the gnawing fact that he had to put up with a classmate of his. Well, not exactly a direct classmate—however he too was in the hero course.

Neito Monoma. Besides Denki’s family, the Monoma family was always involved—at times more than the Kaminari family. In school Monoma was unbearable, he always nagged Class 1-A about any small mistake and detail they had done or had missed.

It managed to irk Denki in many ways, what certainly didn't help was when his mother suddenly signed him up for pastor help. Pastor help with Monoma. Which gnawed at his head the whole time he was scanning through the paper his mother handed him, he looked up giving his mother a perplexed expression.

“Mom? With Monoma? C’mon why himmm… he’s a jerk.”

“Language Denki.” She paused before dropping her spatula and turning over to her son. “And because, I was talking to Neito’s mom, and we thought it’d be an excellent idea if you two boys finally ended this “rivalry” of yours. It’s what God would want.” She smiled before turning back around and continuing to mix the rice. Denki grumbled as he rolled his eyes and flopped onto the couch continuing his rambling.

“But, he's rude mom… If you see him outside of church you’d believe me!” He whined, sticking his head up over the couch. His eyes were staring at the back of his mother’s head as she sighed.

“Well we all have to deal with unbearable people, that’s just life, however, Neito’s a kind boy deep down. Just try to be his friend okay? Now go get ready, we're leaving for church after dinner.”

Denki couldn’t help but groan in response as he sank lower into the couch before eventually getting up and walking upstairs to find his finest church clothes.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

As soon as they arrived Denki’s mother pushed him forward towards the dressing room near the altar. Of course, they quickly gave grace along with a small prayer before she looked back up giving him a smile while fixing his tie. In return he gave her a frown.

 

“Smile..” She whispered as she forced a smile onto her face wanting her son to mimic it.

Of course, he obliged because after all they were in a church, while walking in towards the back where multiple people were quickly walking around to get from one end towards the other, it felt entirely like a whole new world which quickly shattered when he locked eyes with none other than Neito Monoma. Neither boy uttered a word as silence filled the space between them before Monoma made a small gesture by nodding his head as a form of greeting.

He grabbed his clothes from the rack, threw it over his church clothing completely ignoring Denki’s presence, leaving Kaminari in a state of shock. As the service started the priest had aligned Kaminari and Monoma right next to each other per request by both Monoma’s and Kaminari’s families. Neither male spoke considering they were front and center on the sidelines by the altar and if they bickered even once it would not only end in them getting scolded, it would cause major embarrassment to their family's name.

As soon as the service had finished Denki thanked God in his head as everyone walked over to the back room, that was when Monoma finally decided to speak his mind. “I’m only doing this for my mother. I have no intention of being friends with a class 1-A loser.”

Monoma muttered under his breath tilting his head to the side with tired eyes. Denki couldn’t help but scoff.

“Real mature.”

“Oh, shut your mouth.” He snapped quietly turning to face Kaminari. “You’re merely an obstacle in my path Kaminari.”

Denki snickered before lifting his clothes back onto the rack where they once were. “You know being mean to a fellow church member is a sin, Neito.”

Monoma glared with a nauseating expression. “I never allowed you to use my first name.” He said through his teeth, which only amused Denki, however, he chose not to get too petty considering their current location.

Monoma ran his fingers through his hair as he attempted to ground himself and calm his growing emotions. “Whatever, I have no use speaking to you unless it's in front of our parents. Then and only then will you ever see me being nice to someone of the likes of you.”

Monoma enunciated before shoving his hands into his pockets and walking out of the church’s back room. Kaminari was left there for a moment or two, sighing and scratching his neck.

As he finished up and exited shortly after his mother, Neito’s mother and Neito himself turned to face the blond. “Ah…kaminari..” He said gritting through his teeth forcing a smile.

Denki looked at the trio with a confused expression as his mother sighed with a smile. “The Monoma’s were ever so kind enough to invite us out for a small treat.”

“Small treat…?” Denki repeated, closing his eyes and inhaling sharply before giving the trio a smile. “That’s great..”

Both mothers nodded their heads as Neito’s mother spoke. “Why yes! You and my baby Neito can get to know each other more.” She added connecting her hands to Neito’s cheeks and pinching them. Neito winced slightly in embarrassment. His expression quickly faltered from disgust to fear.

“Ma! Why did you say that?”

He complained as his mother simply rubbed his shoulder and grinned. “Well you are my baby, Neito!”

“Whatever..” He grumbled looking down at the floor with a pout. It reminded Kaminari of a fussy baby, whether that was a good or bad thing was undetermined.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

The Kaminari’s and the Monoma’s pulled into their local diner in the outskirts of town, their fathers staying behind as they talked amongst each other with a can of beer in one hand. Whilst their children were left alone together in a booth. Their mother’s on the other hand were chatting as they insisted both boys to bond in some way, shape, or form. So they insisted they take a small walk, which was how they ended up in their current situation.

They had walked farther than they intended too and wound up at an abandoned railroad track with a rusted beat down train cart.

Monoma almost gagged as he jumped back the second they got closer. Denki raised an eyebrow. “You’re seriously scared of an old train cart?”

He questioned as he crossed his arms now facing the other blond.

“It’s practically rotting, what the hell do you mean?”

Denki’s eyes widened quickly, shooting his head towards Monoma. “Swearing now eh?”

“Oh shut up, you act like you haven’t said much worse.” Monoma snapped back with a sigh, he gave up before leaning back against the rusting train cart.

“You really take me for a good catholic boy don’t you?” The blond asked curiously as his eyes shifted slightly, Kaminari was now in Neito’s peripheral vision. Denki merely shrugged.

“I mean, you look like one.”

“Well I’m not.”

Denki couldn’t help but hum in reply as Monoma blurted out suddenly. “I’m atheist!?”

Monoma’s phrase sounded more of a question rather than a statement. Denki’s shoulders slumped as his expression changed into a softer yet inquisitive look. “Oh?”

“Uhm. Sorry..” He trailed off, gulping, and confused. Why did those words slip out of his mouth? Especially to someone like Denki Kaminari. “I don’t know where that came from.”

He added, his voice becoming hoarse and filled with uncertainty. It was a different tone than the one Denki heard on a daily basis. Naturally it piqued his interest. His body shifted as he leaned forward, narrowing his eyes.

“Tell me more.”

Monoma was left distraught as he turned his full attention over to the beaming ray of sunshine. Not in his book of course, Denki Kaminari was far from a ray of sunshine but it shall suffice.

“Tell you more?”

“Yeah, tell me more about Atheism.”

Monoma couldn’t help but feel both confused yet flattered to an extent. He was left hesitant for some time as silence filled around them, Neito’s lips parted. “Uhm.”

He took a deep breath, he needed to properly collect his thoughts before actually speaking and somehow blurting out something he fears he may regret later on. Neito played with his hands nervously. “I simply don’t believe there is a god out there, and I would much rather not consider myself under the catholic branch, I’d much rather not be under any religion actually.”

This of course came at a shock to Denki, of course he was aware of what Atheism was, he wasn’t stupid, however it was more of a surprise that Neito Monoma would outwardly admit that he, himself was an atheist. “Really? You don’t exactly scream “Atheist” Monoma.”

“Of course not, why would I? My family is heavily invested in the church and if they found out about this, it's safe to say that being disowned is the nicest punishment I would receive.”

Neito stated, he peered over at Denki who remained silent, he was partially spacing out and partially trying to process the words through his head. If he were to be honest, he wasn’t expecting Monoma to be the type of guy to struggle with issues like that... in fact his life seemed perfect…

He was one of the priest’s primary helpers, many people complimented him on his outstanding intelligence and his manners. They praised him, they adored him, and even showered him with love. His family practically would have been running the church by now if it weren’t for the fact Kaminari’s family was a big impact on the church itself along with their people.

Denki wasn’t sure if he should say something or stay quiet, both had their own pros and cons to it. If he spoke up and consulted Monoma he assumed Monoma would feel better ever so slightly, however, there was also a chance he was being a weirdo and Monoma would point that out and be disgusted. However, if he didn’t say anything it could just make things more awkward and make Monoma feel more guilty?

So, naturally Denki made a choice and spoke. “Well, hey… Your secret or whatever is safe with me, as cringy as that sounds you’re entitled to your own opinions and thoughts and feelings, nobody should decide otherwise.” He muttered. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as tension he had been holding without realizing had been relieved.

Monoma in return gave a slight frown towards Kaminari as he looked away towards the horizon where the sun had practically been replaced by the rising glimmer moon.

A question popped up in Kaminari’s head as he spoke abruptly. “Do you want to admit you’re atheist once you move out?”

Monoma furrowed his eyebrows as he kept his gaze strictly on the horizon. “Why do you care so much?”

“I don't, I was just wondering sheesh.” Denki scoffed as he slumped against the train cart landing onto the dirt filled with pebbles. He slightly groaned in pain before looking away as Monoma raised his eyebrow unamused.

“Tch, are you an idiot? Did you genuinely not expect there to be a bunch of stupid ass pebbles on the ground?”

“Oh shut up Monoma.” Denki grumbled in annoyance as he propped his feet against his chest and laid his head on his knees.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Monoma and Denki arrived back at the local diner an hour later where both their parents were there talking amongst each other, once both boys came into their field of vision a small smile appeared on their faces. “Ah see! I told you they would return in one piece.” Neito’s father exclaimed as he kissed his wife.

Both Denki and Neito turned to each other giving a mutual look of disgust as their parents merely chuckled. “I think they’re slowly getting along.” Denki’s mom points out as she gestures for her son to come over to her.

“As if.” Monoma said, slumping his shoulders which only earned him a scowl from his mother.

“Straight posture Neito!”

He huffed, straightening up his posture and crossing his arms. Both families said their goodbyes as they parted ways for the night. Neito was left in the car thinking of their previous encounter and the way the blond was so curious about his beliefs. Shouldn’t Kaminari be against it? Why would he not be?

Neito’s family was? His family was against everything unless it somehow corresponded with the bible. Despite how much they were dedicated to God, Neito was constantly reminded of the things he can and cannot do. Such as the typical things, smoking, vaping and even drinking, however, the drinking rule was rather hypocritical in his book. Why was he meant to refrain from drinking when his father himself drank? It was peculiar.

Was there some sort of standard or age that you had to hit before you could do such acts that correlated against their own bible? Was it more of a maturity aspect? If that were the case Neito believes he’s mature… Why yes of course he is mature. But if that were truly the case then wouldn’t that also allow him to be able to do such things like drinking like his father? Even his mother participates, so why can’t he? Of course Neito was aware that the law also implemented why he could not drink. Which is logical, however, it just didn’t click in his head as to why his family could when they have stated many times to Neito it was sinful and even shameful if he even drank an ounce of alcohol…

But…there were also rules that did indeed stand out to him and always made him rather curious, such as homosexuality. According to the bible it was sinful for a man and another man to be in any sort of relationship with one another unless it was purely platonic. Same goes for women with women. His parents tended to speak about this quite often anytime they saw media correlated to homosexuality, they made it known to the world about their personal feelings, at times it was even embarrassing. They made no effort to hide it whatsoever, if they even saw a person actively participating in small acts such as hand holding, hugging, or even kissing, they made sure to give disgusted glances as they walked by. He knew his parents definitely had strong opinions about this and believed that it was the devil trying to lure people into the “darkside.” There were many times his parents would storm into his room demanding he be straight and not gay because it was wrong.

This tended to happen quite often due to the fact Neito was not entirely the most masculine young man out there, but of course he would never think of being gay! It’s a sin, and sinners will forever burn in hell… There was not one time where Neito could even recall ever questioning his own sexuality, though it did sting anytime his father and mother assumed he was gay just because of his physical appearance, to them he appeared as feminine and not at all manly, yet to others he was perceived as masculine and manly, it always confused him and he never understood what exactly he wanted to be perceived as because the responses varied depending on who he talked to and each time they ended up in him being disappointed.

The more his mind lingered the more it hurt. Just thinking about all of this and just how contradicting things in his life were truly made him wonder many things. Had his family perhaps been feeding Neito lies from the very beginning? Are their beliefs even true, is there really a man who goes by the name of God?

And if there were, did this man really believe in only hetrosexuality? Did he think it was sinful and disgusting too if someone was gay? If someone was different in any way?

How could he? Neito thought God was a man who spread love, peace and equality, Neito had thought God was a man who was accepting of everyone no matter the background. So why did this “God” he was so familiar with seem so cruel?

Notes:

THANKS FOR READING!! Teasers and updates will be posted on my twitter acc Denkicentric, I don't mean to advertise, so I'll only do this once, but follow me there if you already haven't