Chapter Text
Right at the climax of an odd dream where Izuku was fighting monsters that weirdly looked like his mother, he was rudely awakened by the feeling of a paw pushing down on throat. His eyes cracked open to stare at the fluffy, black cat that was staring at him smugly before his eyes shot open when he realized that he doesn’t even have a cat. Izuku’s wide eyes darted around the room, taking in the sight of a room that looks eerily like his room at home but with a distinct lack of anything All Might. Sitting up slowly, careful to not push the cat off the bed, Izuku took in a shuddering breath to try and calm his racing heart while he wearily placed his feet off the bed, only to be met with an Ingenium carpet identical to the one in his dorm room.
He tentatively walked over to the window, silently pondering to himself if he was still dreaming as he looked down at the view of the city below, coming to the upsetting realization that this wasn’t even close to his neighborhood. Izuku stumbled away from the window, barely avoiding tripping over the black cat, as he shot towards his backpack - which was conveniently placed next to the bed - and grabbed his phone, vaguely registering the removal of his All Might phone case. His thumbs racing over his screen as he tried to call and text his mom, quietly cursing when he remembered that she didn’t have a phone at the moment due to some asshole stealing her purse when she was on her way home. He switched tactics and chose to message Kacchan and Shoto in their group chat, relief pooling his gut when he sees that they’re both active and arguing.
(creeper: seek help you fucking freakshow
there’s no fucking WAY you actually think cc’s name is cassidy
it literally makes no fuckinh sense like cassidy is cassidy and cc is evan
it’s the fucking law at this point and anything
the crying child aftermath: You"re not listening. The newest GT fnaf episode explains that the name ‘Cassidy’ was referencing cc the entire time but they had mistook it and thought it was referring to the vengeful spirit. Go watch it.
creeper: i’m not watching shit
the REAL crying child: guys i got fuckinh kidnapped im so slash ess are ess rn pls hepl
creeper: WHAR
WHAT.
the crying child aftermath: Oh
Do you see any noticeable landmarks?
the REAL crying child: no :(
all i know is that im in some city and im in a room that looks exactly like my room
oh and there"s a cat
creeper: wait pics?
the REAL crying child: no im freaking out and it keeps looking at me D:
creeper: ok but cat…
the REAL crying child: im going to set your your clothes on fire the next time i come over
creeper is typing… )
Izuk couldn’t even read what the blonde sent as his head shot up when he heard a soft knock on the other side of the door, his stomach souring at the idea of his mystery kidnapper’s oddly polite behavior as he grabbed the meowing cat and scurried under the bed, holding his breath when he hears his kidnapper opening the door. He kept his eyes glued on his captor’s bunny slippers ( lame ass slippers ) while they walk over to the bed, his heart pounding in his chest at the close proximity before he let out a shrill scream when his captor dropped to the floor and made eye contact with him. Izuku squeezed his eyes shut and screamed as loud as he could, gripping the cat to his chest protectively and biting the man’s hand when he tried to reach out to him, making his kidnapper hiss.
“Kami, kid. Calm down, it’s just me.” The man grumbled, frowning at the teen as he gently pulled Izuku out from under the bed with ease. Izuku opened one eye to look up at his captor, breathing out a shaky sigh of relief when he sees that it’s just Aizawa before he stiffened up again, realizing that he’s still in a room that isn’t his and his presumed kidnapper is still his weird teacher.
“W-where… uhm-” he swallowed thickly, trying to keep his mind from going straight to worst case scenario ( hekidnappedmetosellmyorgansforwhateverdrugshe’sobviouslyon- ). “Where are we? This isn’t my dorm.”
Izuku looked up at his teacher hesitantly when the hero didn’t answer, only for him to deadpan at the man when he saw that his teacher got distracted by petting the fluffy cat. He waited for a few seconds to see if Aizawa would focus back on him, his eyes darting to look at his reflection in the mirror propped up in the corner with a confused grimace on his face as if looking into an invisible camera before he looked back at his teacher and cleared his throat softly. The sound seemed to snap the tired looking man out of his trance as he lazily looked up at the boy and tilted his head like he’s confused by Izuku’s simple question.
“We’re home,” Aizawa explains with a small shrug as if that answer didn’t give Izuku even more questions. “Duh.”
Izuku blinks at him once.
Then again.
Before his brain finished reloading and his voice came out weak like he was unsure whether he should laugh hysterically or cry. “This isn’t my house, sensei.” That he was certain of, given that he and his mom couldn’t afford to live in this clearly rich neighborhood.
The hero’s lips twitched, a smile threatening to spread across his face, which gave Izuku hope that this was just the man’s weird attempt at pranking him. Only for that hope to punch him in the balls when his teacher simply stated like this is completely normal. “It is now.”
The teen let out a breathless huff of laughter at that, hysteria bubbling in his chest and making his acid reflux burn in the back of his throat while he internally spirals ( oh god, why do i always attract crazy people? Why can’t the people in my life be fucking normal members of society?! ) But Aizawa didn’t seem to notice the panic behind his laugh as he stood up with a fond sigh, his joints popping loudly with his movements.
“Get dressed, kid. Zashi’s almost done with breakfast.” Aizawa tells him before he shoved his hands in the pockets of his pink sweatpants and turned to slump out of the room, the cat following behind him. Izuku sat on the floor for a few moments, burying his face in his rough palms with a low groan of frustration aimed at his life. He had somehow let his guard down enough to get kidnapped by his teachers, assuming “Zashi” is Yamada-sensei, and now he’s going to either have to fight his way out or he’s gotta fake it until he makes it to school and then he can tell someone ( other than dumbass #1 and #2 ). Internally selecting the second option, Izuku stumbled to his feet with a wince when his joints popped, doing a few quick stretches before he grabbed his phone and slung his backpack over his shoulder.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Exiting his “room”, Izuku was met with a surprisingly homey looking hallway as he slowly made his way to the living room, following the scent of bacon like a cartoon character floating after towards a freshly baked pie. The pictures scattered on the walls catch his eye, pausing his steps to turn and look at them curiously, his nosiness being piqued. His attention was immediately grabbed by the biggest picture on the wall that displayed Aizawa and Yamada on their wedding day, confirming his assumption that the “Zashi” his teacher mentioned was, in fact, Mic-sensei. He was about to continue snooping but something in his gut told him that he didn’t want to look too deep into his presumed kidnappers" lives, so he turned on his heel and continued on his merry way into the living room.
Where he promptly tripped over a cat.
Luckily for Izuku, his fall was interrupted by one end of a capture weapon wrapping around his midsection protectively, making it so that he’s just awkwardly hovering over the floor on his tippy-toes. He turned his head clumsily to look up at Aizawa from behind the curtain of his curls, the man staring down at him with his eyebrow raised and that smug expression on his face that he always seemed to have around Izuku like the younger hero was constantly proving something to him.
“You need to be more careful, problem child.” Aizawa murmured, helping Izuku’s feet to stand more securely on the floor as the teen flashed him an uneasy yet thankful smile. The capture weapon around his midsection loosened and slinked back into place around Aizawa’s neck, the sight making Izuku’s fingers twitch with the urge to grab his pen and update his notes on the scarf. But he had to stay focussed on his main goal of getting the hell away from his kidnappers as soon as possible.
He shoved his hands in his pockets, silently nodding his head as he ducked his head to avoid looking at the hero while Aizawa’s eyes burned a metaphorical hole into him. He wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about his teacher at the moment because on one hand, he hadn’t hurt him and didn’t seem like he was planning on it anytime soon, but on the other hand, he kidnapped him. Fortunately, Izuku was spared from talking by Mic-sensei, his other captor, who peeked his head out from the kitchen and caught Izuku’s eyes, giving him a comforting smile that made the boy’s defenses drop a little.
“I hope you’re hungry, little listener!” Yamada beamed, his long blond hair pulled up into a loose bun with a few strands falling in front of his face. It was strangely humanizing to see one of his favorite heroes looking so… normal.
Izuku shuffled over to the kitchen, his stomach growling loudly at the picture perfect American-style breakfast on the table. His pupils dilating as he surveys the table, locking in on the stack of waffles in the center before he stumbles into the chair which had already been pulled out for him. Izuku couldn’t even wait for his ( alleged ) captors to sit as he tore into the food set out on his plate, tearing up with happiness at how utterly delicious it all is, not noticing the fond looks his teachers shot each other over his head.
Once he’s consumed every crumb on his plate, he flushed hard in embarrassment when he noticed that he was the only person eating like he was starving. In his defense, One for All had completely enhanced his metabolism alongside the fact that he’s still a growing boy.
Averting his eyes from either of his teachers, he stared down at his empty plate as he moved his emerald curls out of his face. “U-uhm,” Izuku starts, his voice cracking a bit. “Breakfast was really g-good.”
His words cause a proud grin to grow on Yamada’s face. “You really liked it?” Mic inquired, practically buzzing in his seat as if Izuku’s praise was water and he was a fish washed ashore. When Izuku nodded, Mic beamed with pride and casted a smug, I-told-you-so look at Aizawa, who rolled his eyes with a fond look on his face while he sipped his coffee.
“I’m so glad you liked it, kiddo. I really wanted to make your first breakfast with us special.” His English teacher admitted, reaching across the table to rest his warm hand on Izuku’s scarred one. The touch momentarily distracted Izuku from the weirdness he’s been experiencing this morning until Yamada’s last sentence finally registers to him.
( First morning? As in the first of many? What the hell does he even mean? Is this what Sensei meant when he said that this place is home now? How the hell do I keep getting myself into these situations?! God, my mom is going to be so mad. )
While Izuku panicked internally, he kept a polite smile on the outside as he croaked. “That’s very kind of you, Mic-sensei.” He made a subtle move to slide his hand out of Mic’s grip, only to die a little on the inside when the man gripped his hand even tighter with an amused glint in his red eyes.
“None of that ‘sensei’ stuff when we’re at home, alright? You just call me Hizashi,” Yamada informed him cheerfully, seemingly unaware of the look of wariness in Izuku’s eyes. “Or, y’know, you could always call me pa-” Mic was cut off by Aizawa nudging him under the table, saving Izuku from whatever lunacy the voice hero was probably going to say.
“Forgive him, kid, he’s just excited.” His homeroom teacher explained as his husband stuck his tongue out at him while he relented. “He’s right though. We’re not your teachers at home, alright?” Aizawa raised an eyebrow at Izuku, who stared at him with a look of incredulity and exhaustion before he nodded, mentally deciding to just go with their insanity for now until he can get the chance to book it.
The three of them sat at the table in silence for a few minutes while the two pros finished eating, leaving Izuku to try and distract himself from the batshit situation he’s got himself in. He was a little scared of what might happen if they were to catch him texting someone and exposing their successful kidnapping attempt, so he decided to busy himself by petting the cat that had woken him up earlier as it rubbed against his leg. Despite the cat’s asshole-ish demeanor, it seemed to like Izuku enough to allow him to pet it.
“That’s Jackass.” Aizawa tells him, finally giving Izuku a name to associate the cat to even though the name gives him pause, making him look up at his teacher with furrowed brows. “She’s a jackass.”
As if to emphasize Aizawa’s point, Jackass knocks over Izuku’s - thankfully empty - glass with a self-satisfied look on her face that weirdly looks like the same expression Yamada had made earlier. Speaking of Yamada, Izuku looked up to see the hero picking two other cats into his embrace - a sleek looking white cat and a fat, orange cat who seems to be missing an eye, who also happened to be the cat Izuku tripped over earlier.
“How many cats do they have?” Izuku mumbled without realizing, his cheeks turning a deep red when he heard his homeroom teacher’s amused snort.
“Just these three. The white one is Powder and the orange one is Bastard, the names speak for themselves.” Aizawa explains as he gathers all of the dishes on the table up into his arms, waving his free hand dismissively at Izuku when he tries to get up and help. “I got this. But if you really want to help, why don’t you go check the mail for me. The key’s on the hook next to the door and our mailbox number is 4G.”
Izuku was very purposefully ignoring how much this felt like he was already a part of their weird domestic fantasy, instead he was letting himself get excited over his potential escape as he nodded a little too happily and got up from his seat. He was practically skipping towards the door, slipping on a pair of slippers that were his exact size (which was incredibly creepy) but with his freedom in reach, he strode out the apartment with the mailbox key in hand and a big grin on his face.
Just for his smile to falter after a few steps towards the elevator when he started hearing a faint beeping noise, Izuku’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion as he looked around for the sound"s origin.
He walked closer to the elevator cautiously, only for the beeping to grow louder with each step, the shrill noise penetrating his head ruthlessly until he couldn’t help but stumble back towards his teachers’ apartment with his head in his hands, barely noticing the beeping softening.
Izuku slumped against the wall with a shaky sigh, panting as if he had just ran a marathon while he tried to analyze the situation. His head hurt like hell, faintly throbbing with pain while he surveyed the empty hallway for anything out of the ordinary, coming up with nothing.
Shaking his head a bit to regain his focus, Izuku trudged over to the mailbox with tense shoulders, waiting to see if the beeping would come back. When it didn’t, he allowed himself to relax a smidgen and slide the key into the keyhole to check the mail, terrified of what his teachers would do to him if he came back without having checked. But when he opened up the mailbox, he was quickly met with absolutely nothing inside, not even a coupon.
Izuku closed the metal door harder than he needed to with an aggravated huff. Could you really blame him for being upset when he somehow managed to get the worst headache he had ever gotten in his entire life which ruined his escape plan, only for there to be nothing in the mailbox to begin with, effectively deeming this entire trip a huge waste of time.
He rubbed his fingers across the back of his ear roughly - a self-soothing motion that he’s been using since he was younger - pausing when he ran over a slight bump underneath his skin. It wasn’t painful which meant it wasn’t a pimple or a cut he hadn’t noticed until now. No, this felt like a pill of some sort was lodged under his skin. Like someone had chipped him with one of those dog chips.
Izuku’s face dropped at that last thought, his caramel skin paling quickly as he mulled over the idea.
They wouldn’t.
Would they?
Hell, they had already shown themselves to be batshit. But were they chipping him levels of crazy? Izuku felt as if he already knew the answer but to prove it to himself, he speedwalked down the hallway towards the elevator like he had earlier.
…
beep
beep
beep
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”