Work Text:
when she watched him sleep her thoughts were never sane. on some days she would be in awe of his beauty, his innocence, caught in the moment, thinking about how much she had loved him, a loop in her head, his voice repeating those silly little three words over and over again.
the words that he should never have said to her in the first place.
but not from any time he"s said them to her, from when he"d said it for the very first time, still echoing in her head, the only three words she ever wanted to hear from his lips ever again ever since he"d first allowed them to run free from his mouth, forced their way past his lips, those lips she"d loved and cherished so much.
she runs her hand over his cheek, a little scratchy, he hadn"t shaved over the weekend, over his jawline, down his neck. he shifts in his sleep, she doesn"t want to wake him right now, wouldn"t mind if he woke at the same time. thinks to herself how he is hers and only hers, how only she knows about where he likes being touched the most, where he likes having her put her lips on his body, only she knows about the way he sounds right before he comes, that quite gasp, how he swallows down the spit he"d collected in his mouth from when he was too busy to swallow, his mouth a little dry, he cannot close it, breath heavy. it would perhaps go unnoticed by someone else.
but she takes it all in, the routine, stores it away for later times, when she misses him, or when she wants to revisit them in her dreams.
he wakes up, doesn"t seem angry. he pushes his face into the pillow. "good morning." he mumbles, muffled, his voice a little raspy. her eyes wander over his body, he lays on his stomach, the plain white shirt that had taken in his scent over night, she pushes her face to his shoulder, inhales deeply, he enters her system.
she pushes her hand under his shirt, up his hips, squeezes a little. she can hear a giggle against the pillow, he finally lifts up his face to just stare at her, in awe, so much love in his eyes, he drowns her in it, no lifesaver in sight. he knew. knew her so well, knew what that little squeeze on his hip meant.
his hand draws circles on her chest, along the line of the lace on her bra, between her breasts, squeezed together as she lays on the side. he doesn"t speak, his eyes wander down her body. a deep sigh. his hand trials down further, over her belly button, stops just before he reaches her panties.
eyes forced into hers once more, searching for permission he"d already been given the moment she"d woken him a smile. two smiles. he kisses the tip of her nose, lips colliding, a firework is lit. he sends his hand down her panties, an instant reaction in her face, she had anticipated this moment for too long, her body had responded accordingly, not embarrassed, his fingers drained in wetness immediately. he doesn"t part her thighs, he knows just how she likes it, how she rides his hand, her face almost blank, eyes forced into his, no way they could ever disconnect, blue and grey, creating a new colour.
"you"re alright? you had a nightmare."
michael spoke next to her, megan disoriented, had forgotten she was in a car, had no idea how long she"d been here.
she hated the summer.
hated the way she was forced to pretend to like it in favour of her family, that one time they had time to spend together, making rushed plans, nothing ever worked out fully.
she hated how she"d get a sunburn no matter how much sunscreen she used, she hated the way tan lines looked on her body, another thing that would remind her of this uncomfortable time for months to come, it would take so long for them to fade.
perhaps a little something most people would carry as a memory of times spent together as a family, for her, never pleasant.
she hated him.
she couldn"t bear the situation any longer, couldn"t hide her growing hatred any longer, not even when her husband kept telling her that it was just a couple more weeks tops, a forehead kiss sealing a promise made by him that would be forgotten as soon as his lips had disconnected from her skin.
but michael was resistant, like the tan lines on her skin, still somewhat visible from last summer"s vacation.
michael had ran his fingers along them, like touching sunburned skin, a sharp pain, but the longer he touched them, the pain began to feel like ice cubes rubbed against her wounded skin, mending until her skin was numb.
michael had began parting her and will, the fear of will knowing about it all along so ever present, just like his frame in the background of all her memories, somehow always there, his laugh hollowing in her ears like a song on the radio everyone loved but her, hearing it wherever she went.
when would the song quite down? become forgotten?
when would his frame in the background of her memories become blurry?
why did she keep doing this to herself?
something she couldn"t escape because it was always there, always available, always listening to her worries and problems when she felt like no one else would understand her.
and the worst part was that she knew michael didn"t pretend - he didn"t pretend like will sometimes would when she came to him after a long day, will"s eyes distant, looking for a way out when michael"s eyes were paying attention to every little detail of her story, his eyes found a home in hers.
it"s been months.
the man that sat by the end of the dinner table every day, who ate the food she had prepared with her own hands, who ate from the plates she had washed, drank the wine she had payed for, wore the clothes that smelled of her favourite softener, she had made him hers, unwillingly so.
she hated him, hated how he had come in to disturb hers and will"s peace, hated how whenever the chair on the table was empty, a part of her seemed to have gone missing.
trapped.
four doors that were shut, a silence in her head so suffocating it had made her lungs heavy.
the world outside laid in darkness, no streetlights by the side of the road they were on, pitch black night wherever she looked. a humming sound in her ears, a melody she knew but couldn"t figure out, she could feel the vibrations of the throat that hummed this damned melody, she wished for him to hum just a little louder, creating a crack in the ground for her to slip into and disappear. inches away, she couldn"t move away any more.
his skin was like a disease, so infectious, spreading over her own body without any cure to it.
whenever she had looked into a mirror she felt like constantly standing in black light, his fingerprints all over her body, she couldn"t see her own skin anymore.
grabbing his hand to cover those spaces where he hadn"t touched her yet, making her shine fully, finishing what he had started.
"you"re okay?" michael asked next to her, she snapped out from the claustrophobic state she was in.
"um, yeah." she had moved her head away from the car window for hours now, her neck stiff.
michael pushed the button to crack the window on megan"s side, fresh wind blowing in her face, the smell of fog and exhaust in her nose, making her forget about the smell of michael"s cologne for just a moment.
"we"re halfway there i think. should arrive before midnight."
michael hadn"t spoken a word to her all day, he must"ve felt the distress his present had caused her recently, but both knew that this state would never last.
like sunshine after rain, they both seemed to forget, the rain had washed away the guilt, a brand new day to take advantage of.
"i think will"s asleep."
megan finally moved, checking the backseat to see her husband fast asleep, their children rested up against him. a small smile cracked on megan"s lips, michael reaching for the coffee in the cup holder the moment megan had the same idea.
hands tangling up like a wild animal clawing into its prey.
"you go first, it"s yours after all."
megan let michael have a sip before he handed it back to her.
a ritual starting, the candles are lit.
"you want me to drive for a while? you seem exhausted."
megan asked putting the cup back down.
"i"m good. coffee keeps me going."
their voices quite, not wanting to wake will and the kids.
"you"re looking forward to it then."
michael asked, his eyes constantly moving back and forth from megan and the road ahead.
"you know how i feel about all this."
michael nodded.
"it"s only a week. besides some sun on your skin might do you well. quite pale you"ve become."
megan"s eyes avoided his at all cost, the little light on the car ceiling dim, still she could see his hands on the steering wheel so clearly, could see how his thighs were sweaty, stuck to the seat underneath him. they both were uncomfortable, perhaps for different reasons, always feeling the same as if they had began coexisting within each other.
michael leaned back a little, moving his head left and right, a quite crack could be heard, his hand moving up to his neck to massage the part that had just created the noise.
was he aware of his eyes were doing to her? was he aware of his own fatal beauty? the way megan was jealous of his own hand on his neck, he could touch himself whenever he wanted, yet megan always had to wait her turn, make it a secret when he himself never had to hide away, what had always been his own.
she had to snap out of it.
"focus on the road." megan spoke looking up from her phone, meeting with his eyes on accident.
he looked straight at her, his hand still on his neck.
"hard to."
michael"s eyes wandered down megan"s body, the white dress with the many little red flowers printed all over it, in the light appearing more pinkish, like the flesh on her thighs.
"shut up."
megan shushed him, feeling a pain in her own neck now. her hand pressed against it like a reflex, shifting in her seat, the white cardigan she wore rushing down her shoulder.
raindrops suddenly fell onto the front window, first it was only a few, then the rain began falling heavier.
michael fumbled around on the left side of the steering wheel, searching for button to turn on the wipers.
"where the fuck ..."
"on the right."
this wasn"t michael"s car, it was will"s, another thing michael had taken possession of, treating it like his own ever since he had moved in, had sold his own car for cash.
megan never wondered about michael"s finances, knew that he had to pay a lot to his ex wife and the kids after the divorce. never wondered where the money for the expensive necklace he had gifted her for her 30th birthday had come from, just days after he"d sold his car.
she never questioned those things.
this wasn"t part of their thing.
whatever their thing truly was.
megan stuck her hand out of the crack of the window, rain falling onto her skin.
michael rolled the window down further, megan laying her head down to the bottom of the window, rain getting in her face.
michael"s hand laid onto her thigh, the urge to push it away was there, but she felt too defeated to do so.
they"d finally passed a single streetlight, enlightening michael"s face for just a split second, but their eyes met, megan staring into them the whole time even when she couldn"t actually recognise them in the darkness they were in.
michael"s thumb rubbed over the soft skin on the inside of her thighs, megan running her finger up his arm, wet from the rain, a new trail to follow she had not yet walked.
"don"t stop."
megan said under her breath, her ears alerted, constantly checking if will"s breathing in the backseat had changed, if he had woken up.
"wasn"t planning on it."
her hand wandered further up his arm, hand wrapping around the part of his neck he had massaged earlier.
the quite song playing on the radio, the urge to turn it up, wishing for something to make megan"s brain go numb, not feel this emotion, the emotion she couldn"t even describe.
she couldn"t take her hand off him, magnets under her skin, the iron in their blood cells connecting.
michael"s eyes were bloodshot, his mouth hung open, a facial expression she knew, she"d seen it before, endearing, she knows he cannot control it, her touch something that made no sense to him, yet, to feel it, his pinnacle.
two hearts that were cracked, cracked from each other"s touch, yet their individual touch like glue.
a tragedy, it would last for generations to come, found in ember long after their hearts had stopped beating and their earthly bodies had long ceased to exist, dust in the wind, blown into the same direction, destination unknown.
megan"s hand on his neck held still, the spot she pressed against becoming hot under her touch, a quite voice in the backseat, michael pushing her arm away in response.
megan turned the ceiling light on, looking over her shoulder.
will talking in his sleep, their kids in his arms.
"is he awake?"
megan shook her head, sadness in her eyes.
will whispered her name in his sleep, even when miles away, in his own head, it was only her, while all in her own head, right here, right now, awake, was his brother.
"he talks in his sleep, mike. you know that."
megan breathed out, resting her head against the half open window.
"sorry for pushing you away."
their conversation a whisper, not allowed to speak louder, even when alone, moans quite, every kiss could be too loud, every creak on the wooden floor of the corridor could be one to make their family tree fall, michael and megan sawing on either side of the trunk with every time one"s hand ran over their bodies, no new tribes could grow, their feelings for each other too toxic.
a kingdom bound to fall, the enemy at the gates.
only that michael was the enemy, not will.
now that her skin no longer touched michael"s, she felt empty.
felt like she should feel full of love because will speaking her name in his sleep meant that there was no one else on his mind, the times he"d stayed late for training not a white lie.
he loved her.
with every fibre in his body.
too many rose petals laid down to megan"s feet by him, picking them off the flower one by one, only for her to walk all over them.
will proving his love to her every day made her feel guilty, so many rose petals on her feet they were up to her knees, it had become hard to walk through, suffocating love, but he didn"t realise it.
"touch me again. touch me."
michael didn"t actually speak to her, his mind whispering to her, understanding each other without words.
playing with fire, the heat from underneath her skin making her glow, megan"s hand steering right between his legs this time, yearning to feel the soft skin on his cock she hadn"t felt in a while, running her thumb over his tip repeatedly until he couldn"t stay quite any longer, every groan from his vibrating throat like a gold star, added to megan"s collection of achievements.
who was really in control here?
michael kept his eyes on the road, fumbling on the cord of his shorts, they didn"t know how much time they had.
when michael had finally managed to loosen it enough for megan"s hand to slip in, she immediately wrapped her hand around the base of his cock, michael didn"t realise she"d spit into her hand until his cock was covered in it.
"you like that still, right."
michael nodded, looking down, his mouth forced shut, face under pressure, this time he REALLY to control himself, megan enjoying this game of cat and mouse.
her movements were slow but steady around michael, he could feel himself get harder and harder with every stroke she made on him.
megan"s eyes were fully focused on michael"s face, seeking emotion in his eyes when he didn"t allow his inner self to be heard, he couldn"t, megan pushed her own hand underneath her dress, shifting a little so she could push her panties down to her knees, turning to the side so her tits would slightly pop out of her dress.
michael"s foot on the gas was hard to control, his thighs began trembling when he noticed that megan had begun pleasuring herself, her arm pushed over her chest, squeezing her tits together, moving along with moves her hand made between her legs.
michael"s face seemed different with every street light they passed, megan could tell how hard it was for him resist, the man who could never stay quite.
in her mind, the times she"d straddled him, her thighs trapping him inside her body, telling her how beautiful he finds her all over again.
her hand went faster on herself, so did the other on michael, wished she could see his face in daylight, watch his yearning turn into desperation, wondered in which state of ecstasy he currently was.
the dim light only allowed her to see the outline of his face, his lips shone, a bit of beard on his face.
she hadn"t even realised how close she had shifted her body, almost knocking over the coffee resting in the cup holder, probably turned cold by now.
whispers in michael"s ears, she"s close enough, all he heard was megan"s voice, the words she spoke irrelevant.
right now it was just them, the sweat on their foreheads and heat megan"s hands created between their legs.
she licked his earlobe slightly, goes to blow on it.
"how close?"
michael"s breath heavy, intense, she knows how hard he"s holding back his sounds, sweet sounds she"s desperate to hear.
"i"m close..."
they needed to come at the same time, megan knew just when to let him go, set him free, set them free.
and so she did - she set herself and michael free.
michael gasped, had it under control, for those few seconds, it felt like they had floated away, far away from the car, far away from will and the kids, in their very own space.
a space where it was just them.