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Something was wrong with Bernard. The carnivorous plant that grew near the edge of the pool had become… irate .
Stolas first noticed about two months ago that the plant was being rather nippy. None of his established plants were like this with him, only some of the newer ones that were not yet accustomed to the palace and his presence. Bernard had lived here for three years now and was always well behaved in the past, but now whenever Stolas neared the plant it would try to latch onto his robe, or tail, or any other limb or appendage that drew near.
Bernard also started becoming aggressive towards the plants around him when it was feeding time. Where in the past he had eaten only his portion of food and allowed the plants around him to have theirs, he was causing problems with Helena and Gertrude specifically by always snatching up their meals when Stolas wasn’t looking.
The most puzzling to the owl, however, was how morose the plant seemed as of late. Something Stolas loved about his plants is how they always seemed so blissful no matter the situation, happily bobbing up and down when he neared them, or when they were watered, fed, or when a breeze rushed past them. They were easily amused as long as they were being well cared for, and Bernard was being well cared for, but suddenly he was finding the plant appearing wilted on the cobblestone, eyes half closed and leaves shriveled.
It drove him insane. He felt like a failure for not being able to figure out what he had done to wrong the poor plant. He felt like a failure because he couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
There was a very cruel irony to it all with the timing, as well.
—
Blitzø stared at the scuffed toe of his boot, a knot forming in his stomach.
It had been two months since he’d seen Bottlecap and he couldn’t help but miss the stupid thing.
(It has also been two months since he’d seen Stolas, but he preferred to think about Bottlecap.)
It wasn’t fucking fair . Bottlecap didn’t do anything wrong. Bottlecap was probably sitting out by the pool right now wondering why Blitzø was mad at him. He wasn’t getting his secret snacks, he wasn’t getting to play tug of war, he wasn’t asked how his day was anymore and it was all because fucking Stolas had decided to move on from Blitzø.
A few months into their arrangement, Blitzø had accidentally fallen onto Bottlecap when scaling the palace walls, and the plant had clamped down on the end of his tail. He thought for sure the plant was going to eat him, or at the very least tear off his tail. He had tried to pull his tail out but the plant would yank him back each time.
It wasn’t until he saw that the plant was smiling that he realized it was just trying to play with him. He had slowly reached out and slowly scratched the plant under the jaw which caused it to fucking laugh , dropping his tail. He didn’t know that Stolas’ plants could fucking laugh, and it was making Blitzø laugh too. As he walked away it almost seemed like the plant was trying to wave at him with his leaves.
It was creepy, but it was kind of cute.
Blitzø had never really cared about Stolas’ plants before. Sure, they were impressive, and sure, they were cool, but he didn’t have any kind of attachment to any of them like the owl did. It just wasn’t his thing , he thought.
But Bottlecap was Blitzø’s thing.
Bottlecap had so much more personality than the other plants. Bottlecap recognized Blitzø when he came by and would snap at him angrily if he tried to walk past without saying hi. The plant had a fucking attitude and Blitzø loved it. The plant didn’t care who he was and was just happy to see him.
He started bringing special treats for the plant every full moon. He’d make a stop at the poolside garden on the way to Stolas’ balcony and toss him any kind of meat he was able to find on the way. Rats, hamburgers, pepperoni pizza, it didn’t matter what it was, Bottlecap was always grateful. If he had time before leaving he’d play a quick game of tug of war with him.
The last time he’d seen Bottlecap was the morning before Verosika’s party. The plant had snapped at him but since fucking Stolas was right there, he didn’t want the plant to get in trouble, so he had to shove him off. He had mentally promised he’d pay the plant a visit very soon to make up for this, but he never had the chance.
Bottlecap couldn’t tell time, or at least Blitzø assumed he couldn’t. He didn’t know about the full moon deal he and Stolas had, or that they got in a fight and “broke up” even though they weren’t dating. All Bottlecap knew was Blitzø hadn’t come to see him in a really long time but didn’t know why, and it made him feel like shit to think about it.
It made him fucking angry. All he wanted to do was be able to see Bottlecap and spend some time with him, but he couldn’t and it was all Stolas’ fucking fault.
But, if he was really honest with himself, it made him feel really fucking sad because he knew it was all his fucking fault.
—
“Bernard, I cannot for the life of me understand why you’ve been so upset lately.”
Stolas fussed with the plant, attempting to check under his leaves for any signs of pests without letting the plant nip at his fingertips. The plant managed to clamp down on his pinky finger and tugged hard, making the owl yelp.
“Oh, let go, Bernard!” He yanked his finger free quickly, rubbing it with his other hand. The plant wilted sadly, and the owl frowned. “I’m sorry, Bernard, I shouldn’t have shouted. I just wish you were able to tell me what has upset you and what I could do to help.” He sighed and stood up, letting his gaze travel along the garden and his other plants.
Every single one of his other plants were doing just fine, happily bobbing up and down and soaking in the warmth of the day.
A terrible thought crossed his mind and he felt guilty immediately for even thinking it. But…
Maybe he should consider removing Bernard.
He shivered.
No, no. It wasn’t fair to the poor plant. He hadn’t even given it a chance to bounce back, really. It’d only been two months.
However…
Bernard had been snapping at the plants around it, stealing their food, and becoming a nuisance. Would it be so wrong to remove one plant who was causing all these problems for the others?
He shook his head. No, he couldn’t just give up on the poor thing, frustrating as it was. He loved Bernard just as he loved all his other plants. This one was just a bit more challenging, but did that make the plant not worth his time?
The problem was that lately Stolas felt he was no good at fixing things and only good at fucking them up.
—
Blitzø tapped his fingers across the steering wheel over and over for thirty minutes. He had parked his van a much further distance than he usually did from the palace on the “regular” full moon nights.
He knew he was being ridiculous. Stolas had always kept to a routine and almost never deviated from it. He would sit by the pool in the late morning reading, have lunch, do some boring princey bullshit all afternoon in his library, have dinner, and then sit around in his room doing whatever the fuck before going to sleep. He never walked around the palace at night as far as Blitzø knew, and he definitely never wandered around the pool. There was no way Stolas would see him sneaking up to give Bottlecap a little treat.
Still, he was having a very difficult time getting himself out of the fucking van. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, sitting there in silence with his hands pressed against his eyelids. Finally, he used his tail to open the car door and hopped out, shutting it behind him, all while still covering his eyes. He removed his hands once he exited the van and took a deep breath.
He could do this… for Bottlecap.
Blitzø made his way towards the palace, carefully ducking behind hedges and statues and anything he could to avoid detection. He realized as he neared closer that there didn’t seem to be any guards out at all, which was weird.
And fucking stupid, Stolas, what the fuck? He thought, but that's none of his business now, so he let the thought pass.
He stopped at the bottom of the wall he knew would lead him straight to Bottlecap. He considered calling out to the plant but didn’t want to risk Stolas hearing him.
Silently, he scaled the wall, his excitement growing as he got higher and higher.
I hope he’s happy to see me .
I wonder if he’s missed me as much as I’ve missed him.
I really, really, missed him.
The plant. Bottlecap. I really missed Bottlecap.
Seriously, that’s the only reason I’m–
Blitzø was so busy having an argument with himself he miscalculated how much further the top of the wall was, yanking himself up awkwardly before he actually got the top and feeling himself falling back towards the ground below. He yelped loudly without meaning to, his arms flailing wildly in an attempt to grasp onto anything to pull himself back up. Somehow, miraculously, he was able to latch his tail over the edge of the wall, causing him to slam back into it and giving him a few precious seconds to dig his claws back into the wall. Once he was sure he was secure, he skittered up the wall with laser focus, vaulting over the edge dramatically. He may or may not have shouted a few things on the way over.
—
Stolas had been a creature of habit for most of his life. It was just easier that way. He’d always followed the predetermined path that was given to him, and though he despised the restrictions that had been placed upon him, at the same time he felt some comfort from a lack of spontaneity.
Ever since Verosika’s party, however, it no longer gave him any sort of comfort. It reminded him of too many painful things and he had been changing up his routine quite a bit the last two months to avoid those memories.
The evening was the worst time for him. It was when he felt the most alone, and he couldn’t bear to be in his bedroom at all because of the memories that came flooding back to him. He tried doing something a little different each day until he found something that stuck, and for a while there wasn’t much that helped. Too many things around the palace reminded him of those nights.
For the past few weeks he found spending his time reading at the pool in the evening instead of the morning was a good distraction from some of those nagging thoughts.
He was enjoying another peaceful evening when the sound of someone yelling followed by a bunch of loud scratches practically made him jump out of his skin. He knew he should run, but something about that voice seemed…
“Christ on a fucking STICK, fuck this FUCKING PALACE, fuck this FUCKING WALL, fuck the fucking AIR and fuck the fucking– shit , FUCK!”
Stolas stared, frozen, as the imp he had tried very hard not to think about (unsuccessfully) for the last two months came tumbling dramatically over the wall and landed in the bushes below. Then there was silence for a moment before the imp popped back out of the bushes and grinned to no one in particular.
“Fucking nailed it! ”
The owl knew he needed to say or do something, but he was so confused he wasn’t even sure how to process this. When Blitzø had crept forward just a few paces and dropped down next to Bernard, hugging and petting the plant with… concern? …Stolas was even more confused.
He watched him fuss over the plant for a minute before clearing his throat, causing the imp to whip around so fast it startled him, too. Blitzø stared at him with a look on his face the owl couldn’t read. Shock, definitely, but was it also.. Sadness? Anger? He couldn’t tell.
Finally, he found his words.
“Blitzø… what the fuck are you doing with Bernard?”
—
Blitzø landed in the bushes below, fully expecting Bottlecap to latch onto him immediately like he usually did, but he hadn’t. He wondered if he got the right spot. As he popped out of the bushes, scanning the area immediately around him, he spotted the sad, sick little plant.
Bottlecap was laying there, shriveled and sad, resting his bulb on the cobblestone just at the edge of the garden. Blitzø rushed over and immediately crouched down, hugging the plant. He pet it gently on the head.
“Bottlecap, oh fuck, what happened to you–” he whispered, his heart beating fast with worry, and then beating about 8000 times faster when he heard Stolas clearing his throat behind him.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Stolas never came out here at night. Why the fuck was he here?
He whipped around so fast it made his head hurt. He was half expecting it to be some kind of trick, but no… there sat Stolas in his lawn chair, almost identical to the morning of Verosika’s party two months ago. Blitzø felt like he was staring at a fucking ghost, or something. A tiny, tiny part of him secretly rejoiced, but a much larger part of him was fucking scared of what was going to happen.
The two of them just stared at each other. Blitzø couldn’t think of anything to say, until the owl had opened his beak.
“Blitzø… what the fuck are you doing with Bernard?”
The harshness of the owl’s voice snapped Blitzø out of his thoughts. The tone of the owl’s voice immediately made him feel a little hurt, but even faster he was feeling himself getting angry.
“His name is fucking Bottlecap, dipshit.” He hadn’t meant for the words to come out as bitter as they did, but also, how did Stolas not know that this plant wasn’t named fucking Bernard ? What a stupid fucking name, anyway. Sure, he had changed the plants name and never told Stolas because he didn’t want to get made fun of, but this plant was so obviously not a Bernard.
Stolas didn’t respond, and Blitzø turned back towards the plant, continuing to pet and hug it. “Sorry, Bottlecap. Here, I got something for you…” he fished around in his inner jacket pocket, pulling out a greasy bag of fried chicken.
Bottlecap immediately perked up, snapping its jaws open and shut. Blitzø grinned, opening the bag and tossing the fried chicken into the plant’s mouth. The plant swallowed it happily, wiggling its leaves and nuzzling into Blitzø’s arm.
Blitzø reached into another of his jacket pockets and pulled out an old piece of rope. He wiggled it in front of the plant who happily chomped down on it. Blitzø planted his feet on the ground and started pulling as hard as he could while Bottlecap pulled in the other direction. Both held their own for a while until Bottlecap gave one hard yank that pulled the imp forward and knocked him onto the ground. He sat himself up and smiled up at the plant, chucking as the plant snapped its jaws open and shut and he fucking knew it was bragging.
“What the fuck are you doing with Bernard? ”
Blitzø groaned, locking eyes with Bottlecap and rolling his eyes. He motioned at the owl and made a gagging motion with his mouth, and he swore the plant was laughing.
Maybe if he just kept talking to Bottlecap, he could pretend Stolas wasn’t there. Maybe he could convince himself once he was home that Stolas was never there at all, and he had only imagined the owl was sitting there–
“ Blitzø .”
“His name is BOTTLECAP .” Blitzø spat out at him, his spines raising as his tail whipped back and forth. He finally let himself make eye contact with the owl and it didn’t feel great. There was a rush of emotions swirling around inside of him and they were all mixing together to make him really fucking pissed off. He knew it wasn’t fair, but he didn’t feel like he knew what else to do.
The owl sat there in silence yet again, just staring at him. Blitzø stared back, glaring, balling his fists. Slowly, he realized how similar his stance had been two months ago when he had gotten into an argument with the owl. He loosened up, letting his face soften, and trying to calm his tail down. He couldn’t do this again , even if he was mad at Stolas for almost killing Bottlecap. Did this dude not understand his own fucking plants?
“I like this plant.” Blitzø hugged Bottlecap defensively. “His name is Bottlecap. Whenever I came by I used to stop and play with him, or give him a snack, or talk to him.” The plant snuggled up against the imp. “Just because you’re done with me doesn’t mean Bottlecap should have to suffer.”
Stolas opened his beak and shut it, his eyebrows knitted together in what seemed like confusion.
“I missed Bottlecap these last two months and all I wanted to do was come and see him. And now I just came here and saw that he’s all fucked up and shitty looking like… do you even care about him? Did you even notice how lonely and sad he looks?” The plant nipped at him playfully. “Why did you just… give up on him?”
He rubbed the plant once more, giving it a little kiss before letting go of the embrace he had around it. “I’m coming back every full moon from now on to take care of him. I’m not letting you ignore–” he felt his throat tighten and shook it off as best he could. “I’m not letting you ignore Bottlecap anymore. Got it?” He pointed a claw at the owl, who was staring at him with a look Blitzø couldn’t read. After a few moments, he nodded slowly.
“Okay, Blitzø.”
Blitzø huffed, turning his back to the owl, and scurried back over to the wall, launching himself over as quickly as he could without another word.
Stolas hadn’t been happy to see him, he hadn’t missed him, he had only seemed to care about the fact Blitzø renamed one of his plants without permission. Stolas had given up on him just like he’d given up on Bottlecap.
—
“I like this plant.” Blitzø clung onto the plant, glaring at Stolas so intensely the owl flinched. “His name is Bottlecap. Whenever I came by I used to stop and play with him, or give him a snack, or talk to him..” Tears were gathering in the corner of the imp’s eyes, and Bernard leaned forward and snuggled into him, trying to comfort him. Stolas couldn’t help but marvel at how strong of a bond the imp had managed to build with the plant. “Just because you’re done with me doesn’t mean Bottlecap should have to suffer.”
The tears were pouring down the imp’s cheeks now, and Stolas wondered if he even realized it. He felt a pang in his chest at his last words, wanting to argue with Blitzø, wanting to tell him he had never said those words and that it was the complete opposite of what he had wanted, but was unable to get the words out.
“I missed Bottlecap these last two months and all I wanted to do was come and see him.” Blitzø sniffled loudly, staring up at Stolas as the tears continued to fall. “And now I just came here and saw that he’s all fucked up and shitty looking like… do you even care about him? Did you even notice how lonely and sad he looks?” There was a long pause, and Stolas wondered if they were talking about the plant anymore. “Why did you just… give up on him?”
Blitzø once again poured affections onto the plant who returned them happily. He shot another glare over at Stolas, his voice thick. “I’m coming back every full moon from now on to take care of him. I’m not letting you ignore–” the imp’s voice squeaked and cut off. Stolas felt his own breath hitch in his throat. “I’m not letting you ignore Bottlecap anymore. Got it?” Blitzø pointed a claw at him.
He wanted to cry. He wanted to run to the imp, embrace him, tell him how happy he was to see him despite everything, how much he had missed him, how badly he just wanted to spend time with him in any type of way he would allow him.
He wanted to apologize. He wanted to prove to Blitzø that he did care, that he wanted to help but he didn’t know how, that he had failed to pay attention and failed to listen but he wanted to do better.
He wanted to tell him that he had never given up, he never wanted to give up, but it was just hard right now and he had no idea what to do and he was just really fucking tired of fighting against everything and he felt like he was fucking drowning .
But, all he did was nod and say “Okay, Blitzø.”
And with that, the imp was scurrying back over the wall, disappearing into the night.
Stolas walked over to Berna– Bottlecap , and sat down on the ground next to him. He wrapped his arms around the plant, not caring that he was getting chewed on, and let his tears fall freely.