Work Text:
It's been five years since Felix last saw Chan, the last time being when they broke up after being together for three years. They had been friends before that, always dancing around each other, both being too afraid to give a voice to what it was that they felt for the other. But one magical October night when they could no longer ignore what was happening between them they shared their first kiss after confessing to each other in their friends bathroom at a halloween party.
Everything was perfect after that night. They were boyfriends, happy and in love, they were each other's person and nothing was ever supposed to change that. Then came Hyunjun and Felix’s realization that he was polyamorous, everything went down from there. Chan who wasn’t poly tried for Felix, agreeing to open up their relationship and invite Hyunjin in. Chan had tried so hard because he loved his boyfriend and only ever wanted to make him happy but in the end it just didn’t work. Chan’s heart couldn’t handle having to share Felix with another, it was never what he wanted and it was hurting him too much to stay. So they parted ways, Chan moving out of the apartment he shared with Felix and Hyunjin and back home to Australia.
Time moved on as it tends to do and Felix acquired three more partners: Jisung, Minho and Changbin. Finding out Changbin and Chan knew each other and were friends complicated things a bit in the beginning but eventually everything worked out. Changbin didn’t hide their relationship from Chan and Chan said that he was happy for them so that was that.
The two had met each other when Chan had moved back to Korea to work at the same production company as Changbin and the pair became fast friends. They hung out together often and were gym bros who enjoyed meeting up and working out for hours. Sometimes Jisung and Minho tagged along, even Hyunjin after a while started hanging out with the group. But not Felix, never Felix. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Chan again and his partners never pushed him about it.
When they received the invitation to Chan's wedding, it was really no surprise. Chan was truly happy for Felix and his partners, telling them once that all he ever wanted was for Feix to be loved and happy. That he was happy that Felix had them to love him in a way that Chan himself couldn’t.
So now here Felix sits, in the fifth row at Chan's sunset beach wedding watching as the love of his life marries another. Blinking back tears as he stares at Chan, his face aglow with a type of adoration filled love that Felix had only ever wanted Chan to direct towards him, Chan smiling at his soon to be husband as he recites his vows. It felt like a thousand knives were piercing Felix’s heart as he looked on and he didn’t know how he was going to be able to make it through the rest of the ceremony without breaking out in tears.
He still loved Chan, had never fallen out of love with him and in the secret most selfish place in his heart had always wished for Chan to come back to him. Chan had taken half of his heart when he left and no one had ever been able to fill it. Felix had always assumed that eventually Hyunjin and then Minho, Jisung and Changbin would begin to fill the void that Chan had left but it never happened. Chan was his first love, his greatest love and as he sits here trying to hold it together as he watches Chan marry someone else Felix wishes not for the first time that things had turned out different. That he had never met Hyunjin, that he could have loved Chan and only Chan or that Chan could have been able to share him with the others. That they never had to see the end of their relationship.
Felix feels Hyujin entwine his fingers with his as the tears finally fall from Felix’s eyes, as the officiant says “ I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Bahng, you may now kiss the groom” and as Felix wishes with everything in him that it was him standing at the altar with Chan instead of sitting here being comforted by Hyunjin.