Work Text:
January 1995
“Dave, table twelve wanted their steak medium rare.” Shelly called back to the kitchen.
Dave merely nodded. “I’ll remake it.”
“Thanks.” Shelly replied breezily as she returned to the bar, grabbing a coffee pot along the way. “Evening, John. Need a refill?”
John greeted her with a slight smile and a nod. “Evening, Shelly. Yeah, I’ll take one.”
Shelly refilled his mug and moved on down the bar. She noticed Holling at the other end, moving more slowly than usual, stopping to rub his chest.
It wasn’t like Holling. Something was very wrong.
She set down the coffee pot and started his way. “Babe?”
Holling glanced over at her and shook his head. “It’s nothing, Shel.”
Shelly didn’t want to start an argument here in front of everybody, but her instincts were telling her that something just wasn’t right.
Before she could speak up, the bell dinged, and Shelly left Holling to pick up the order and take it to the table. She carried on with her usual duties while keeping an eye on Holling, who had made his way back down the bar and had stopped to talk to John.
Well, if something went wrong, at least John was right there to help.
She started to clear another table when she saw Holling suddenly lean hard on the bar with a pained expression. John immediately slid down from his barstool and rounded the end of the bar to take hold of Holling’s shoulders before they both disappeared behind the bar.
Shelly immediately dropped the dishes and rushed to Holling. John and Dave were already helping him up and leading him to a chair. Holling’s face was ashen, his expression blank.
“Babe?!” Shelly grabbed his hand. “What’s wrong?! What’s happening?!”
“He’s having a heart attack.” John answered tersely as he placed his fingers against Holling’s neck. “Holling? We’re gonna get you some help. You’re gonna be okay. Just stick with me.”
Holling managed a nod, his eyes sliding over to Shelly as he weakly squeezed her hand. “S’okay, Shel. Don’t worry.”
How could she not worry? God, she’d never been so scared. He was everything to her, the love of her life. She couldn’t imagine a life without him.
Pull it together, girl, she told herself. She squeezed his hand firmly in response, swallowing hard. He was in good hands with John, she was sure of that.
John had already taken control, barking out directions as activity swirled around them. Ed squatted down next to John. “Ambulance is coming, but it’s gonna be a while.”
John nodded, his expression as serious as Shelly had ever seen it. Chris, Maggie, and Marilyn all appeared, hauling all sorts of medical equipment from the doctor’s office, and John placed the oxygen tube up Holling’s nose before turning the knob on the tank. “There we go, how’s that?”
Holling managed a slight smile. “Still feels like an elephant stomped on my chest.”
Relief washed over Shelly, bringing her close to tears as she kissed Holling’s hand as John let out a short, quiet laugh. “Good to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor.” John told him.
Lights started flashing outside The Brick, and Chris squeezed John’s shoulder. “I’ll get them in here.”
Holling started to shift in his chair. “I can walk.”
“You stay right where you are, mister.” Shelly told him firmly.
“Yeah, what she said.” John chimed in with a nod. “You just let these guys do the work, okay?”
Holling looked exasperated, but otherwise didn’t respond, and soon he was loaded up on the stretcher while John and the ambulance crew switched out the oxygen tubes. While John spoke with the ambulance crew, Shelly leaned over Holling and kissed his forehead. “You behave yourself. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Don’t worry.” Holling told her. “You just mind The Brick. I’ll be fine.”
Shelly squeezed his hand one more time before the ambulance crew took him out of The Brick. Once he was gone, she was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. Her knees buckled, her breath hitched, and she felt herself falling, but she couldn’t catch herself.
“Whoa there.” John’s calm voice broke through as he caught her, and she felt herself being guided into a chair. She managed to pull herself together enough to focus on John, who sat opposite her and took her hands in his with a kindly expression on his weathered face.
He was talking to her in a gentle, soothing tone, though Shelly wasn’t so much focused on his words as she was his demeanor. She finally managed to calm down, taking a deep, shaky breath before squeezing John’s hands. “Thanks.”
John smiled a little at that, squeezing in response. “Hey, yeah. Just what I do. I’ll get more information as soon as I can. You gonna be okay tonight?”
“Oh, sure.” Shelly answered with a confidence she didn’t feel. “Just gotta shake it off, you know?”
John nodded. “I know. You call me if you need anything.”
With that, John released her hands and rose to his feet, and the activity at The Brick slowly started to resume some semblance of normal, though Shelly was surrounded by others who insisted on fussing over her.
A sudden thought occurred to her. “Randi!”
“She’s just fine.” Ruth-Anne assured her, carrying Randi close while bouncing up and down. “All the excitement must have woken her up.”
“Aw, come here, baby.” Shelly rose from the chair and took Randi from Ruth-Ann to hold her close. “Your daddy sure caused a lot of excitement tonight, for sure. But you know what? John took good care of him. We’re gonna go see your daddy soon, okay?”
“Why don’t you see to her?” Maggie suggested. “I can help out behind the bar.”
“Yeah, I can help, too.” Ed offered.
“You guys are so sweet.” Shelly told them, touched by their kindness. “I’m just gonna get her settled down, then I’ll be right back.”
“You stay right there with her.” Ruth-Anne told her firmly. “Don’t worry about a thing.”
Shelly wanted to argue, but she knew she’d be quickly overruled. She searched The Brick for John, but it seemed he had already left, probably to try and find out more information about Holling.
She managed what she hoped was a smile. “Okay. I’ll be right upstairs if anyone needs me.”
With that, she made her way through the crowd and started toward the stairs, looking over her shoulder briefly. She couldn’t help but marvel at how everyone had come together to help out tonight, and for that she was grateful, deeply, deeply grateful.
Johnny stood outside in the dark and quiet, shaking inside his parka in a way that had nothing to do with the bone-chilling temperature. Everything had turned out fine, fine enough, anyway. Holling was going to make it, there was little doubt of that.
And yet, there was a tiny voice in his head that wouldn’t shut up, wouldn’t stop reminding him of another time when he’d jumped in to help, another time that hadn’t gone so well.
Those old paramedic instincts had never left him, long after he had left that life behind him, and it had been those same instincts that led him to rush behind the bar to catch Holling as he had gripped the bar, his face twisted in pain. There had been no time to waste, and he had simply taken over, directing people to help where they could. Ed had called for the ambulance. Chris, Maggie, and Marilyn had collected as much equipment as they could carry and brought it to The Brick.
And then there was Shelly. It was obvious the young woman was doing her best to quell her own panic, putting on a brave face right up until Holling was loaded up and on his way to the closest hospital. Johnny couldn’t help but think of the woman at the hot springs all those years ago, screaming for help as her husband was dying, as Johnny did his best back then with nothing but his own hands at his disposal.
This time was different, he had to keep reminding himself. He had better equipment at his disposal, more people able to help. Hell, even the emergency services out here were better than they’d been back then. Those services hadn’t even existed back when Johnny had made that first trip here to visit Steven.
Still, his body and mind refused to get the message, insistent on forcing him to relive that memory, almost taunting him with it. His stomach started churning, and he squatted down in an attempt to regain control over himself.
“John?” Chris’s voice called out to him in the darkness. “You okay?”
He wanted to assure Chris that he was fine, just fine. But the truth was, he was far from fine, that old memory playing on a continuous loop in his head.
“Come on.” Chris’s voice was gentle as he grasped Johnny’s shoulders. “Let’s get you inside.”
Johnny allowed Chris to guide him upright and back to The Brick. Soon they were settled into a booth across from each other, where Johnny couldn’t escape Chris’s concerned expression.
“What can I get you guys?” Maggie suddenly appeared.
Johnny shook his head. “I don’t need anything.”
Chris turned his attention to Maggie, his face lighting up in a smile. “Something warm for our area medical professional, Mags.”
Maggie smiled in response and nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
Johnny couldn’t help smiling a little himself. “So, things are working out with you two.”
“Suppose they are.” The smile never left Chris’s face. “Thanks to you.”
Johnny shook his head. “You would have figured it out eventually.”
“Maybe.” Chris shifted. “But you gave me the extra push I needed.”
A steaming, fragrant mug appeared in front of him, and Maggie took a seat next to Chris while Ruth-Anne scooted in next to Johnny. “What’s this?”
“Special herbal blend tea.” Ruth-Anne told him. “Just the thing to settle the nerves.”
“Thanks.” Johnny murmured quietly as he took the first sip. He could feel himself slowly start to relax, though he could also feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on him. “Guys, I’m fine. Really. Just the adrenaline wearing off, that’s all.”
Chris and Maggie both regarded him skeptically, while Ruth-Anne patted his arm. “You handled it beautifully, John.” She assured him.
“Yeah, you jumped right in before anyone else knew what was going on.” Maggie chimed in.
“Well, he did have that heart attack right in front of me.” Johnny pointed out. “It’s just…you know, instinct. All that old paramedic training’s stuck with me.”
Maggie regarded him curiously. “I didn’t know you were a paramedic.”
Johnny waved a hand dismissively. “It was a long time ago. Left that all behind to come to Alaska but…guess it never really leaves you.”
“Good thing, too.” Chris asserted. “Holling wouldn’t have made it if you weren’t here.”
Johnny’s thoughts once again turned to the man back at the hot springs all those years ago. “It’s not always enough. Suppose it just…well, it just reminded me of something else, that’s all.”
As he told the story, it all came back to him, the rush of trying to assess and work on the guy with nothing but his own hands, how the sweat had poured off him in the back of Steven’s truck, how his arms and shoulders had ached so much afterward.
And of course, the sick feeling that the guy might not make it after all that effort.
“Never did find out if he lived.” Johnny finished. “Probably better that I didn’t.”
“But Holling’s gonna make it.” Chris told him firmly.
“Hope so.” Johnny answered quietly as he finished off his tea. “Things have come a long way in twenty years. It’s just, well, I guess I thought I learned how to handle this stuff. Maybe I haven’t.”
Johnny glanced out the window into the darkness, where lights had been flashing only a short time before. He had to believe that Holling would make it, and before long, he’d be right back behind the bar where he belonged.
The alternative wasn’t something Johnny wanted to think about.
He surveyed the three people that still sat here in this booth with him, feeling Ruth-Anne’s hand grasping his as the others regarded him with reassuring expressions. It was funny, how in such a short time, he’d become so intertwined with this community, how they’d welcomed him as one of their own, even if only for a little while.
Johnny squeezed Ruth-Anne’s hand before letting go and shifted in his seat. “Suppose I should check in on Shelly, make sure she’s doing okay.”
“She’s upstairs with Randi.” Ruth-Anne told him as she slid out of the seat to let Johnny out. “But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind seeing you.”
“Right.” Johnny nodded as he slid out of the booth. “And, uh, thanks. For all of this.”
He left them behind and headed toward the kitchen, where Dave was busy working. “Hey, know where I can find Shelly?”
“Right up those stairs.” Dave responded with a slight smile before he returned to the grill.
Johnny climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. “Shelly? It’s John.”
The door swung open, and there was Shelly, with Randi on her hip and a shaky smile. “Hi. Any word?”
“Nothing yet.” Johnny answered. “Just wanted to check in on you. Anything I can do?”
Shelly shook her head as she stepped back to let him in. “I’m alright. Just trying to get this little lady to sleep, that’s all. Suppose we’re both feeling a little frazzled.”
“I can take her for a minute.” Johnny offered. “I mean, if that’s okay.”
“Sure.” Shelly replied before talking quietly to Randi and handing her off to Johnny.
He settled down in the rocking chair as Randi rested against him, her fist in her mouth, her eyes blinking slowly. Johnny couldn’t help but wonder what his life would have been like had he taken a more conventional path, if he had married a woman and had a family of his own. Sure, he’d helped take care of Marcy’s kids, and genuinely loved being one of their uncles, but it was different than if he’d had his own kids.
“Aw, she likes you.” Shelly laughed softly.
“Kids seem to.” Johnny replied. “Don’t know why.”
“Because they know good people.” Shelly told him. “Just like dogs. Dogs know who the good people are, too.”
“I suppose.”
They fell silent for a long moment as Randi’s eyes finally closed and she fell asleep in Johnny’s arms. Shelly was the first to break it. “I don’t know if I can thank you enough. I was so scared, but you knew just what to do.”
“That’s just years of training put into practice.” Johnny told her. “Pretty much instinct by now.”
“Well, I sure appreciate it.” Shelly rose from the bed. “I’ll take her and put her down.”
Johnny gently shifted Randi back to Shelly, and Shelly set her down in the crib, leaning on the railing. “I don’t know what I’d do without him.” She spoke quietly. “Never thought about what it’d be like.”
Johnny rose from the rocking chair and crossed the room, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Well, here’s hoping you won’t have to worry about it for a good long time.”
Shelly turned around and hugged him tightly, her head resting on Johnny’s chest. “Tell you what, first thing I’m gonna do when he gets home is to get him to make out a will. No way is he gonna leave me without a plan.”
Johnny couldn’t help laughing at that. “Yeah, probably a good idea.”
Shelly pulled back, her hands resting on Johnny’s arms. “You’ll tell me as soon as you hear something.”
“I will.” Johnny assured her.
“Okay.” Shelly nodded. “You’d better get home and get some rest.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Johnny couldn’t resist teasing her a little as he left and trotted down the stairs. He made his way through the dwindling crowd until he was outside again and on his way back to the office.
It was bitterly cold, and Johnny shivered slightly as he started walking. He had to admit that he was now feeling a hell of a lot better than he had just a short time before, back when he’d held Holling’s life in his hands.
But as he had so many times before, he’d snatched that life back from the jaws of death. It felt good to get a win. Maybe, in a sense, it was a bit of redemption for the life he hadn’t been able to save back then.
Whatever the reason was, he would take it.