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This Is How It Should Be

Summary:

The blip happens. Life is turned on its head. But Tony and Pepper have to navigate mourning the loss of Peter at the same time as they prepare for the birth of their daughter. Life is so, so close to perfect.

OR

Five years as seen through Pepper's eyes. We see snippets of Pepper returning home from work to the cabin each day and finding her family waiting for her. Sequel or companion piece to '7 Times Peter Starts To Realize He Has A Family 1 Time He Knows He Does.' This is a happy, fluffy fic with minor angst, lots of family feels, and a very happy ending. For Cozytober 2024. Note: This can be read as a stand alone if you don't want to read the other story that goes with it.

Notes:

I recommend that you read '7 Times Peter Starts To Realize He Has A Family 1 Time He Knows He Does,' first, though if you really don't want to, you don't have to. This short story can function well enough on its own as a stand alone piece. There are a few references to things that happen in the other story, but they're not story breaking references if you haven't already read the other one. This is mostly the events and moments leading up to '7 Times'.

What to expect: The story starts off sad (the minor angst mentioned before), but the story is primarily good family feels, family fluff, and happy moments with a happy ending.

Warnings: Mourning of a lost child (Peter, to the blip), and one minor curse word.

It's supposed to be a short, easy story to read.

 

Cozytober 2024 prompts used:

 

3. Chilly fall day.
7. The smell of fresh baked goods.
8. Apple cider donuts or muffins.
Alt 3. Reconnecting

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It's her last day at work for a while.  Morgan is due in 28 days, and they have an overwhelming number of things to do in the coming days.  The last few months have been… chaos.  Not the kind of thing expecting parents should have to deal with, not at all.  Then again, they're in the same boat as all the other expecting parents out there.  The world is a mess, and like it or not, they have to live in it.  Maybe.

Tony and Pepper have spent the last month finding the perfect place to live that's as far away from the rest of the world as they can get, yet still close enough that it's not unreasonable for them to head into the city to work at the tower when necessary.  Buying a house, organizing repairs to said house, and then moving has left little time for things like creating a nursery and baby proofing however.  Having an extra month off of work before Morgan joins them will be a good thing… time needed and well spent preparing.

Pepper walks up the two steps onto the front porch of their new home–a cabin in the woods on a little lake.  She thinks she'll miss being able to work for the next several months, but isn't too bothered by it, because she knows her time will be filled with family, and all sorts of firsts.  Baby Morgan's first day.  The first time she opens her eyes.  Her first smile.  She's looking forward to something good in the midst of all the bad that's been going on since… well, since everything.  There's just been a lot of bad, and not a lot of reasons to smile.  She hasn't seen Tony smile since the day he flew off into space with Peter.  She, Happy and Rhodey have been worried that Tony might not ever smile again.

She's not sure what she expects when she unlocks the front door of the cabin and opens it up, but Tony in the middle of a project isn't it.  He hasn't worked on any sort of project since returning to earth.  It's been almost five months now.

She pauses on the threshold of the door, eyes sweeping the cozy little living room that still doesn't feel like home because it's so new.  Tony is sitting cross legged on the floor amidst a half built crib, pieces of wood, bags of screws, and paper instructions strewn around him along with empty plastic packaging and cardboard.

"Hey," he says, and there's something in his voice that she hasn't heard in a while.  It's not happy, exactly.  A hint of excitement maybe.  Still, when his eyes come up to meet hers, they're dark, drained.  The dark bags under his eyes don't help.  She really doesn't know how the next few months are going to go.

"Hey," she says softly.  She shuts the door and sets her purse down on the kitchen table, then goes to join him in the living room.  She picks her way over plastic packaging and one spindle of a crib wall, and sits down on the couch.  He doesn't get up to join her, but he does reach up and put a calloused hand on her stomach.  Morgan is almost ready to meet them.  She'd been a surprise… the only good surprise there could have been since half the world disappeared, and Peter along with them.

"Hey Mo," Tony says softly, and a flicker of a smile ghosts across his face.  It's there, and then it's gone, and he looks tired again.  He pulls his hand away, but Pepper catches it and cradles it between both of hers.  He motions with his free hand towards the mess.  "Bought a crib," he says.  He doesn't talk much these days, just what is necessary, and as a result, his voice often sounds quiet and rough with disuse.

"I see that."

"Only a four star rating, because it's kind of ugly, but the safety rating is high.  Best one on the market for safety."

She doesn't know when he even had time to research it.  He's been keeping busy with unpacking so that she doesn't have to since it's hard for her to move around this late in the pregnancy.

"I don't think it looks so bad," she says.  "It's perfect."  She smiles at him, and is rewarded with another little smile in return.  It's so good to see after so long.  "Can I help?"

Tony swallows hard and looks away as the smile slips off his face.  She thinks he's done talking, that he'll be quiet for the rest of the night, aside from perhaps a quiet good night later on.  He surprises her when he says, "I got it," and then after a breath, "Pete should be here helping me with this."

She's not sure what to say, so she just squeezes his hand, which she still hasn't let go of.  He hasn't spoken about Peter since he stumbled off the ship, supported by Nebula, and said, "I lost him, Pep.  I lost the kid.  Pete- he's- he's gone."

They had both cried on and off for days.  Peter had almost been theirs, and then he'd dusted.  She'd learned from Nebula days later that he'd dusted in Tony's arms.  Pepper can't even imagine.

"I know," she says quietly.

Tony doesn't look up at her for long moments.  Instead he scans the chaotic mess of half-built crib in front of them.

"I don't- uh… I don't know if I can do it, Pep."  He clears his throat once, twice, and then swallows hard.  She hasn't seen him cry since those first few days after returning to Earth, but she thinks he does sometimes in private.  His voice sounds wet now though.  "He should be here.  How can I just- have another kid without him?"

Pepper lets go of his hand and scooches forward on the couch.  She does her best to slide off of it and onto the floor next to him.  She ends up sitting on several layers of plastic and cardboard packing.  He still won't look at her, but she puts both hands up on his face and pulls it gently so she can see his eyes.  They're wet.

"I don't know how to do this either."  And it's the truth.  She's never been a mother before.  She wasn't as close to Peter as Tony was, but she had been looking forward to the things they'd had planned… the new family they had been trying to create with him.  She doesn't know how to be a parent, and she doesn't know how to pull their little family together when Tony is so deep in mourning, and she honestly has no idea how any of it is going to work.  "All I know is that Morgan is on her way, and she deserves a chance to be loved like you loved Peter.  Peter would want that."

Tony clenches his eyes shut and tears drip out from underneath his eyelids.  She pulls him into a hug and doesn't let go, his face pressed into her hair and the side of her neck.

"I'm trying," he gasps.  "I love her, and I'm trying."

"Me too," she whispers.  "That's all we can do right now.  We just have to try."

Their life, like the world around them, is more than a little chaotic, and it's about to become even more so with the addition of their little girl.  They miss Peter, but she's looking forward to meeting Morgan.  Tony is too.

"It's ok to love her already, right?  Even though I lost Pete?"

"It's ok," she reassures him.

Things are a mess, but they're both trying their hardest, for each other, and for Morgan.  This is what family is all about.

She's sure this is how it should be.

* * *

It's the end of Pepper's first month back at work.  She's spent the last few months working from home so she and Tony can spend time with little Morgan.  She'd been a little worried about returning to work and leaving Tony home alone with Morgan, but Tony had assured her that he's got it.  And he really does.  He's proven that time and again.  He's still quiet most of the time, still grieving.  But he loves Morgan with the same sort of fierce protectiveness that he had loved Peter… still loves Peter.  And if he's having a hard time, Pepper knows that Happy isn't that far away.

Happy recently moved close by, about thirty minutes down the road between them and the city, so it's not like he's far away if Tony needs something.  Happy has not yet gone back to work.  He took off work when Morgan was born for an extended 'leave' so he could be there to help them.  He's not scheduled to go back to work at the tower as head of tower security for another couple of weeks still.

Life with a baby is exhausting.  At least Morgan's sleep schedule has evened out a little now that she's a year old.  Tony has been trying to coax her to say more than 'mama' and 'dada', and Happy has been coming over frequently and trying to train her to recognize him as 'uncle'.  The last few days Pepper has come home to find Tony trying to get their daughter to say any number of new words, and she expects to walk in on the same scene tonight.

Instead, she walks into the house and finds something completely different.

Tony is on the floor on his knees, arms out, motioning with his fingers towards Morgan.

"Come on sweetheart, you can do it again!  Come on!"

"What did I miss?" Pepper says, hurrying over.

Tony's eyes snap up to her.  "She walked, Pep, I swear she did!"  His eyes are alight with such joy and excitement that her heart stutters in her chest.  She puts her hand up over her heart.

Morgan stands there on unsteady feet, focused on Tony as she tries to balance, one hand on the couch for support.

"And I missed it?" Pepper asks.  She'd needed to go back to work in person after almost a year out of the tower, and had wanted to, but she's sad about the things she'll miss, like her daughter's first steps.

"She's going to do it again," Tony says.  "Come on miss Maguna, come to daddy."

Morgan stumbles away from the couch, sways, takes a step, sways, and then runs the rest of the way to Tony as fast as her little legs are able to carry her.  She falls into Tony's arms, and he pulls her up against his chest in a soft hug.  "Told you," he says.  "Told you that you could do it."

Pepper's hand covers her mouth.  She drops down to her knees next to them and wraps her arms around both of them.  "I can't believe I missed this," she says.

"You didn't miss anything."  Tony kisses her temple gently and then runs a hand through Morgan's soft baby hair.

Tony grows quiet, but doesn't mention that Peter isn't there… that he's the one that missed her first and second steps.  He didn't say it at Morgan's birth either, though Pepper knows it's always in the back of his mind.

Instead, Tony says, "Rhodey and Happy will be pissed we didn't get video."

Pepper gives a little laugh.

This is closer to how it should be.

* * *

Morgan is two and is just as loud and defiant as her age demands.  Pepper has dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep lately.  Morgan fights tooth and nail at bedtime, and they have yet to come up with a suitable new bedtime routine to meet her 'terrible two' demands.  As a result, Pepper sometimes doesn't get to sleep until almost midnight.

As she steps up onto the covered front porch and approaches the front door, she can hear Morgan's dissatisfied wailing coming from inside.  She could be crying for any number of reasons.  Yesterday she had cried because she couldn't have a cookie before dinner.  Then she'd cried because Tony had given in and given her a cookie before dinner.  Two year olds are just like that, Pepper had quickly found out.  Tony is tired too, but hasn't been nearly as phased over the frequent tantruming as Pepper has been.  Pepper thinks she should be more prepared for this given all the crazy that has come packaged in a relationship with Tony over the years, but she's not.

She pushes open the front door and finds Morgan lying on the floor at Tony's feet, wailing and kicking her legs.  She's crying, but her eyes are dry, and her face is red.  She looks more mad than anything else.  Tony is sitting up on a tall stool at the kitchen counter drinking coffee and reading something from a tablet.

"How long has this been going on?" Pepper asks warily.  She hopes their daughter is near the end of her tantrum and not at the beginning.

"Forty minutes," Tony says cooly over the noise.

Pepper does her best to stay calm and collected as she crosses the room and steps over Morgan to give Tony a brief hug and kiss.  It's actually a little unfair just how cool and collected he's been over this whole 'terrible two' phase Morgan has been going through the last couple of months.

"Do I want to know?"

"Oh yes," he says, as though he's delighted to relay the story.  She wonders if his whole day has been like this… tears and screaming and kicking legs, while she's been at work in a relatively calm, blissfully quiet, environment.  If so, then she doesn't know how he can look so pleased.

Pepper looks at him expectantly, waiting for the story.  He smiles and says, "The Little Mermaid doesn't have enough fish."

Morgan wails louder at his proclamation.

"What?" Pepper is already tired and worn out from the screaming and she's only been home for a few minutes.

"Yes.  She watched The Little Mermaid twice today, and after the second time, declared that I needed to add more fish into the movie.  When I told her I didn't make the movie, and couldn't add more fish, she told me I was the meanest meanie.  I was clearly too unbothered by her proclamation and she's been on the floor ever since."

"Fiihh-shh-shhhhhhhh!" Morgan wails.

Tony snorts in amusement.

"She should try Finding Nemo," Pepper says.

Tony shrugs.  They haven't seen that one yet.  Usually their days are filled with cartoons for toddlers and things like Sesame Street, but lately they've been trying movies for older kids to see if she'll like them.  They haven't seen Finding Nemo yet.

"So, dinner is on its way," Tony says with a grin.  "I deserve take out after being called the meanest meanie.'

Pepper stares at him in awe.  She loves this man with all her heart.  She always has, even before she'd considered dating him when she was his personal assistant.

Dinner arrives a few minutes later.  Morgan is so delighted to find out that Tony made a special order of chicken nuggets from McDonalds to be delivered with their Chinese food, that her tears cease, and the lack of fish in The Little Mermaid is forgotten about.  Two year olds have a short memory, and an even shorter attention span.

As soon as dinner is finished, Pepper steels herself for an hours-long battle over bedtime.  "I'll give her a bath if you can handle putting her to bed.  If not, you bathe and I'll put her down."

Tony considers her offer.  "Nuh uh.  If you put her down successfully, then I'll only get twelve percent of the credit for the good ending of our day.  I deserve at least ninety eight percent."

She thinks he's right, though she doesn't say so.  "On what grounds?" she challenges playfully.

"I made dinner."

"You ordered dinner."

"Did you eat it?"

She purses her lips, trying not to smile.  Tony scoops Morgan up out of her booster seat and hands her off to Pepper.  "You bathe, you take twelve percent.  I'll get her to bed."

"Deal."

"It's been good doing business with you, Miss Potts."

"Likewise, Mr. Stark."

Bathtime isn't so bad.  Pepper pulls out a bin of colorful rubber ducks Morgan hasn't seen in a few weeks and fills the bathtub with them.  The long forgotten ducks are enough to make her giggle and keep her occupied for the twenty minutes it takes Pepper to wash her hair and get her clean.  She doesn't feel like fighting Morgan about the ducks needing to stay in the bath, so she dries a purple one off and lets Morgan take it to bed with her.

"Ooh, nice duck," Tony says when the little girl tottles down the hall and into her room where Tony is waiting for her.

Pepper uses a towel to mop up water from the bathroom floor and then drains the tub and starts putting ducks away.  While she works, she listens for a tantrum that doesn't come.  Instead, she hears Tony down the hallway talking to her, though she can't hear exactly what he's saying.  He must be reading a story.  Maybe Morgan is too tired from her earlier tantrum to put up a fight tonight.  If so, it will be the first time in two months that Pepper will get to sleep on time so that she won't be a total zombie in the morning trying to drive to Happy's house so they can carpool in to work in the city.

She walks down the hall and pauses just outside Morgan's open bedroom door, low, warm light spilling out.  Her heart starts pounding hard at what Tony is saying inside.

"What happened then, Daddy?"

"Then he opened his hoodie and a dozen baby ducks fell out onto the couch."

"Really?!" Morgan squeals with delight.

"Really."

"Purple ones too?"

"All yellow," Tony says.

"Where was the mommy duck?"

Tony chuckles, actually chuckles at the memory.  "I don't know, never did find out.  I suddenly just had twelve baby ducks I was responsible for."

"But- but they need a mommy duck!"

"Well they didn't have one, just a dad and a brother that's half spider."

Pepper peers into the room just in time to see Tony gently boop Morgan on the nose.  "Just like you," Tony says.

It's been two years since Pepper has heard Tony mention Peter.  Two years since he couldn't say the name without choking up and tears springing to his eyes.

Tears spring to Pepper's eyes now hearing him tell their daughter one of their favorite stories about Peter.  Pepper had come home to the penthouse several hours later to find her master bathtub filled with water and fluffy yellow baby ducks.

"What else, Daddy?" Morgan asks.  "What else did Spider Man bring home?"

"A puppy," Tony says softly.  "And a chicken."

"A CHICKEN?!"  Morgan squeals with laughter and falls over sideways on her bed.

Peals of delighted laughter float out into the hallway.  Tony smiles as he tells their daughter bedtime stories of her older brother.  A few minutes later, Morgan is snuggled down in bed with her purple rubber duck, her new favorite toy, and a stuffed Iron Man bear.  Tony has promised to get her a Spider Man bear next.

This is close to perfect, Pepper thinks.  This is so close to how it should be.

* * *

They've learned quite a few things together in the last few years.  Tony and Pepper have learned how to change diapers, get through the terrible twos, and that certain movies are a no-go in their house, 'Finding Nemo' specifically.

What they have not learned, is that Tony should not be allowed to make decisions about buying animals on his own.  Case in point, Pepper is standing at the front door staring into the living room at a shaggy cream colored alpaca.

"Tony!" she calls.

There's no answer.

"T-" she clears her throat and takes a step back, because she's drawn the attention of said alpaca.  She knows nothing about them and isn't sure if it's dangerous or not.  She'd like to say that Tony wouldn't bring something dangerous into their house, but she knows there are all sorts of dangerous things in the little basement workshop beneath her feet, as well as out in the shed–Iron Man suits and other things that he still works on, even if he doesn't use them anymore to go out on missions.  Morgan, who is almost five now, keeps him far too busy for that.  "TONY!" she calls as the Alpaca takes a few steps towards her.

Tony comes rushing down the stairs.  He gives her scared face a guilty look, and then tries to paste on a smile.  It's the same shit eating smile she's seen a thousand times when he knows he's done something a little crazy and is about to try to convince her that it's not crazy at all.  "Oh, hey honey, how was work?  Good?  Get that merger signed?  How was Happy?  He still mooning over that woman in PR?"

"Tony," she deadpans, and motions towards the alpaca.

"Ok," he says, coming the rest of the way down the stairs.  "Hear me out."

She crosses her arms.  "I'm listening."

"First off, this is Gerald."

"You named him?  He's not staying, Tony."

"He could be staying," he says.  He often says opposite things just to be contrary.  She's not sure if this is one of those times or if that look he's giving her is a pleading one.

"Why- is Gerald in our living room?"

"There was a thunderstorm forecast for this afternoon."

"I know, we drove through it on the way home."

"I don't have a shed for him yet.  I didn't want him to get caught out in a wind and rain storm.  It hailed pretty hard.  Hail, lightning, not good for Morgan's new pet."

"Morgan's new pet, or your new pet?  Since when do you want an alpaca as a pet, Tony?"

"Since a guy was selling him in the grocery store parking lot."

"No."

"C'mon, Pep, Morgan and I are both very attached.  We're connected now.  He laid right down on the floor by the couch and listened to a story this afternoon.  Morgan will cry if you make her give him up."

Pepper sighs heavily.  "We'll get her an alpaca stuffed animal."

"She'll be glad to hear it," Tony says.  "Then Gerald can have a little brother that gets dressed in tutus instead of him."

"Tell me you didn't let our daughter dress this poor creature in a tutu this afternoon?"

"Fine, I won't tell you."

"Tony-"

"Pep," he echoes.  He's smiling in that way he does that tells her he's enjoying going back and forth with her and potentially getting on her nerves.

"He can't stay in the house."

"I know," he says.  "I ordered a big shed.  It'll be delivered tomorrow."

"What do you even know about alpacas?  Are they dangerous?"

Tony pats Gerald on the head.  "Not this one, he was in a traveling petting zoo.  And for your information, we rescued him."

"What?"

Tony sighs and rolls his eyes, like it's an imposition to tell the story.  She knows it's all a show, and that he's been waiting all day for her to get home so he could tell it.  "Kids were pulling his hair at the petting zoo in the grocery store parking lot.  Morgan yelled at them to be nice, and said Spider Man would never let them be mean to him.  She had him named Gerald before she ever even got to pet him, by the way.  So I paid the guy running the petting zoo for him.  Now he lives with us."

She stares at him, open mouthed a little.  She's used to him telling Morgan stories of her 'older brother' Peter, and of his shenanigans as Spider Man… is used to Morgan asking questions about Peter and Tony answering them with a fond smile on his face.  She's not used to him so casually mentioning Peter to her though.  He usually doesn't.

"Tell Gerald to stay out of my goji berry bush," Pepper says.  She crosses the living room cautiously, gets just close enough to give Tony a quick kiss on the cheek, and then backs away.  "Not in the house, Tony."

"Hear that, Gerald?" Tony asks.  "You're a looker, she thinks you're cute or she wouldn't have let you stay.  Come on, I'll find a good spot for you on the front porch for the night.  Tomorrow your mansion will arrive."

Tony leads the alpaca out the front door, and Pepper watches him go.

Alpacas, and fond smiles over stories of Peter, and their daughter defending helpless animals because she knows her older brother would if he were there.

Life is good, and as close as it can get to how it should be this many years after the blip.

* * *

Tony figures out time travel, and he and Peter both almost die fighting Thanos a second time around.  The Avengers compound is destroyed.  With the return of half of the world's population, roads are jammed up with traffic nobody is used to, and local governments are a mess.

But Peter is alive, alive, alive!

He's not just a memory anymore, and they can finally have a chance to set things right, just to how they should be, if they can get the state of New York to cooperate.

* * *

It's the end of fall.  The leaves are long gone, and a cold chill is settling in like a blanket over the cabin.  Winter will soon be upon them.  Pepper shivers as she steps up onto the front porch, finally home after a long, long day at work.

She opens the front door and finds the house a chaotic disarray of things her family has done that day.  She finds blanket forts on the couch and a sink full of baking pans.  Her eyes search out some sort of jungle themed diorama, half finished on the kitchen table, green art supplies strewn all around it.  Legos are on the floor in front of the TV, and the remnants of what surely must have been an epic tea party are laid out on the coffee table.  Frozen is playing on the TV, turned down low.  There are signs everywhere that her family is home, but they're the only thing she can't see in the living space that looks like a tornado ripped through it.

Pepper closes the door to keep the chill air out.  There's a fire going in the woodstove, and the living space is awash in warmth.  She can smell freshly baked apple cinnamon muffins in the air, and spies a tupperware container full of them on the kitchen island.

She crosses the space and comes around the edge of the blanket fort on the couch.  No one has greeted her, so she's not sure there's anyone there.  Inside the blanket fort she finds Tony, light and shadow and colors dancing in the reflection of his eyes.  On his left side, Morgan lays sprawled across him, asleep.  On his right side, Peter is dozing lightly, Tony's fingers tangled gently in their son's hair.

Tony looks up at her with a smile in his eyes.  "Sorry the house is a mess," he says quietly, not wanting to wake their kids.

She smiles fondly back at him.  Oh how she loves this man.  Let the house be a mess.  She doesn't care, because finally.  Finally.

This is how it should be.

Notes:

The first story in this series (7 Times Peter Starts To Realize He Has A Family 1 Time He Knows He Does) made it into the final voting round of the Iron Dad Creator Awards, along with a few other of my stories. Round two (the final round of voting) is open until September 16th, 2024 to determine this year's winners. If you haven't already, please go vote. You don't have to vote for me, but please make sure to go vote for your favorites in the final round. It means a lot to the writers and artists who spend their free time writing Iron Dad stories and making fan art. https://www.tumblr.com/irondad-creator-awards