Chapter Text
Ari hadn’t known it was possible to get sunburned in the snow until her first winter in Mistria. She ran her winter-cold fingers gently over the warm spot beneath her chin.
It was back to the real world, and she couldn’t say she wasn’t happy to be here. Hayden had already tended to her animals when she, Eiland, and Adeline returned, but Ari still found herself wandering into the barn to check on them. She couldn’t help it. Even with Hayden’s reassurance that everything was fine, there was a familiar peace in the routine, in the quiet murmur of her animals.
She found Willamina first, the large blue-black heifer lounging in her pen. Hayden had said her animals hadn’t given him any trouble, but a torn strip of flannel Ari recognized from one of Hayden’s shirts let her know he was just being polite.
“Willamina,” she said, smiling but scolding softly, as the cow’s eyes blinked out of sync, a bit too slowly. Willamina turned in a circle and lowed.
Ari thought she looked particularly guilty. If anyone even a year ago had told her she’d be able to identify a guilty cow from an innocent one, she would have laughed at them. She reached out to scratch Willamina’s forehead, and the heifer waltzed over eagerly, pushing her broad, soft forehead into Ari’s chest. It was meant to be a gentle greeting, of course, but it almost lifted Ari off the ground.
A pumpkin pie for Hayden, then, for being so sweet to her flock. Ari thought through the plan as she stroked Willamina’s soft, dark fur. The heifer nuzzled her affectionately, but when her big teeth latched onto Ari’s overalls, Ari gave her a pointed look, and Willamina blinked again, one eye after the other, her hooves shifting in the straw. She had squash left over from the fall harvest, eggs, and fresh milk. Maybe she could ask Reina to help her make it edible, too.
Thoughts of her responsibilities danced in her head as she went to the chicken coop next, bracing herself for the usual chaos. She was greeted by the frantic swarming of hens, their clucking wild and discordant. Rocky, the oldest of the bunch, pecked at her worn boots, and despite the hen’s protest, Ari scooped her up. Rocky hated being held, but Ari couldn’t help herself sometimes, especially when she missed the soft cluck of a familiar bird in her hands.
After some indignant squawking at Ari’s show of affection, she checked for eggs, but found none. The hens didn’t lay much when the weather turned cold. Ari missed her daily boiled eggs– her stash was starting to dwindle, and she’d had to change her routine to just eating one boiled egg over the sink rather than three.
She wondered idly if Balor could source eggs from somewhere warmer, and then her mind was off to the races at the thought of him. Still not here. Still not home . She checked her mailbox as she thought of him, happy to find that the most pressing note in there was from Luc, asking her to report any and all cool insects she saw on her trip to the Capital to him as soon as possible.
At the bottom of her small stack of mail she found a book, the corners of the cover worn. Attached was a note.
This one made me think of you, my dear, and your charming admirer.
He’s quite the mystery, isn’t he! Read and let me know what you think ♡ –E
Ari snorted softly, unable to help herself. Elsie had quite a few stories to tell, and quite a few more on her bookshelf.
It had been so long since she’d made time for a book, and whenever she had, it certainly hadn’t been the kind Elsie would give her. She had no idea what to expect, but as she turned the book over in her hands, something about it felt oddly familiar. The feeling lingered, curling like smoke in her chest, as if she were holding something more than just pages between her fingers.
Her fingers hovered over the note, then tucked it behind the soft cover of the book. The title caught her eye: Of Stars and Shadows .
It was a little on the nose, wasn’t it? Ari frowned, a tight knot of discomfort twisting in her chest. Balor had called her a star at the grand ball– and more than once, too. Though when she thought back on it, it was hard to remember if he had said it earnestly, or in an effort to fluster her. The memory still made her cheeks warm, but she quickly pushed it aside. There was no way Elsie could have known about that. This was just Elsie being Elsie, stirring up her usual romantic mischief. Things had been quiet in town lately, after all, and perhaps Elsie was looking for some fresh gossip or a new story to latch onto.
Still, Ari found that the word star had a certain weight to it now. She rubbed her thumb along the spine of the book, tracing the ridges of the cover, as her thoughts returned to the present. She glanced at the rest of the mail, but nothing stood out.
She was still tired from the trip home, though, and her list of things to do seemed never-ending: checking the request board, foraging, tidying up the house– she hadn’t even unpacked yet. The tasks felt weighty, but in a way, that comforted her. She could handle them.
She stuffed the rest of the mail in her hand, weighing the options. Maybe she would entertain Elsie’s romantic whims, if only for an hour or so. Surely there’d be something in the book she could laugh about with her friends later. Celine and Reina had been trying to get her and Adeline to join in on Elsie’s reading club. Maybe that’s what had spurred Elsie to send her the book, to dip her toes into the softer side of reading.
Ari decided she would start a fire and curl up in bed. She told herself she would read for a little while before napping– but she knew better. She’d be asleep before she made it past the first chapter.
As soon as Ari stepped into her cottage, she was sidetracked. To her dismay, the air felt stale and cold. She frowned, hoping the fire would chase out the chill and the smell. Without thinking twice, she set to work starting the fire, her hands busy even as her mind dragged its feet.
She couldn’t bring herself to rest until she was unpacked. After the fire roared to life, the book was placed on her bed with little ceremony– she’d allow herself a nap eventually. But not yet.
First, she started with the bag of goodies she’d brought back. The trip had taken them to a district of the Capital she’d never been to before. A place she had never had the tesserae to even think about visiting before. But Eiland and Adeline knew it well, and the three of them had spent a few hours weaving through shops, buying gifts and treats. Adeline bought fancy pottery for Elsie, a replication of something that had fallen off her shelf and shattered in the earthquake. Ari had found a small porcelain horse for Hayden. It reminded her of the mare he’d nearly run into her with on her first day in Mistria, and she thought it would be the perfect thank you for watching her animals.
They’d also stopped by one of Eiland and Adeline’s favorite patisseries, and the siblings had tripped over themselves trying to tell Ari about a tradition they insisted she join in on. They had bought her a little cake, wrapped in pastel paper, and the three of them shared a third of it right there in the shop. Eiland was almost childishly proud of the ritual as he licked a bit of frosting off one of his fingers, his excitement impossible to hide.
“You eat a third of it when you buy it, like a blessing!” He’d said, his grin wide. “And then you eat the next third on your birthday, and the last third when you experience your first moment of turmoil at your new age.”
Ari had thought it sounded ridiculous, but now, as she looked at the remaining pieces of cake, she couldn’t help but smile. It was the prettiest cake she’d ever seen. She hated to think of eating the next third, but her birthday was coming up fast, whether she liked it or not. Ari nestled the cake in her icebox, stealing one last glance at the fancy lettering on top that had spelled out her name with a heart around it, before they’d cut into it.
A partially eaten cake with such ceremonial meaning– exactly the kind of thing Adeline and Eiland would make into an oddly moving tradition. Adeline had even promised to share the final third with her, so that Ari wouldn’t have to face her turmoil alone. It warmed Ari’s heart, even if it was just Adeline’s silly sweet tooth talking.
She’d bought other trinkets as they’d moved through serene streets, things that reminded her of her friends, of the little things she’d learned about them over the course of the year. She’d even recognized the tea shop where Balor must have been buying the tea he would sometimes give her, loose leaves tucked into beautiful velvet bags for safekeeping. She had tried hard not to feel guilty when she saw the prices. He was probably very good at haggling, she decided.
Finally, she pulled out the scented candle she had bought for herself. A rare luxury, one she’d only ever indulged in once in all the time she lived in the Capital, and never before that. If the fire couldn’t clear the staleness of her home, maybe the candle would.
She moved through the rest of her chores at a languid pace, her eyes flickering to her bed every few minutes. Eventually, she relented, peeling off her thick winter layers and settling under the soft sheets.
Elsie’s book was still there, waiting for her.
With a sigh, Ari opened it. The faint scent of old paper rose as she flipped through the first few pages, the quiet crackle of the fire accompanying the sound of wind pressing against the walls of her cottage. Ari settled deeper into the bed, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders. The warmth of the fire and the heaviness of the book in her hands felt strangely grounding.
When the stars fall, do they vanish in the darkness, or is it the shadows that complete them, making their light whole?
Ari frowned. So it was going to be one of those books. A little pretentious, maybe even cheesy. And yet, she found herself drawn in. Maybe, Ari thought, she owed Elsie something she couldn’t remember, and reading this would be her way of making them even. In almost a year, she’d avoided indulging the woman’s prodding– this would be her offering in return.
As she read on, Ari discovered that the story centered around Liora, a headstrong business woman too jaded by past experiences to care for love. She’d thrown herself into her work, and was rewarded by becoming quite good at what she did. Ari could see a few similar qualities between herself and Liora, but hardly enough to warrant Elsie thinking of her when she read it.
As the story continued, Liora traveled to a nearby town on a trade mission, where she met Kairos– a deeply mysterious man out on a walk late at night. Tall, lithe, charming, and always looking a little past anyone he spoke to.
Oh.
Ari’s eyes skimmed over the extensive description of Kairos, and a tight discomfort grew in her chest. Kairos was a mercenary with a dark reputation. Logically, Ari told herself this was different enough from Balor that she could dismiss the overlaps. It was just a book, after all.
Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. At least Liora was smart enough not to fall for his schtick. Even if Ari knew where this story would eventually go.
Ari glanced at the clock. Half an hour had already passed, and sleep still hadn’t found her. She tried to relax, to unclench her shoulders, but they were tense in a way she couldn’t shake. The scene of her candle had long since permeated the small cottage, mixing with the warmth of the fire and the soft embrace of the sheets. She should have been asleep by now.
Maybe another chapter would do the trick. At this point, Liora was beginning to run into trouble. Someone was after her, and an attempt on her life had just been made. It would have been successful if not for Kairos being there, guiding her out of harm’s way and back to his quarters in a dingy, unassuming inn.
Liora trembled, trying to wrest away tears from her eyes, as Kairos’ eyes searched over her frantically. It was the most emotion she’d seen from him before, and despite the terrifying encounter that had brought her to his sleeping quarters in the first place, she wanted more of it.
Kairos’ calloused hands were remarkably gentle, so much more gentle than she had imagined them to be.
“You’re okay,” he breathed. And Liora wasn’t sure if he was speaking to her, or himself.
The book was suddenly very, very far away from Ari’s body, as though it might scorch her if she held it any closer. Maybe she was understanding why Elsie had lent it to her. It was ridiculous, impractical. Balor’s room was far messier than Kairos’, and Ari had held his hands enough times to know that he scrubbed the callouses until they softened. He was nothing like Kairos. That was just a silly idea Elsie had put in her head.
Ari stood up abruptly, yanking on her work clothes, blowing out the candle on the counter and putting more wood in the fire. A pumpkin pie for Hayden. The request board. An afternoon in front of the forge where March’s scorn would chase away any thoughts that weren’t related to her duties.
She grabbed her coat and slammed the door behind her, the cold air biting into her skin like a reprimand. As she tromped towards town, she swore her heart was still racing– like it had no business doing.
She couldn’t face Reina immediately, so Ari had ended up at the forge, where the steady rhythm of striking ingots soothed her. Ari and March had formed a tenuous friendship over the year, more like two adult cats grudgingly sharing a house than picnics and boardgames, but a friendship nonetheless.
The heat of the forge felt good, and Ari had long since shed her winter coat and rolled her thick winter overalls to her waist, sweat soaking through the layers beneath.
March was across from her, working in even fewer layers, his movements sharp but distant. Technically, they were working together, but he was in a particularly foul mood today. Ari was in no rush to bare her thoughts to him, so the practiced silence was welcome.
At one point, March’s hammer struck the tongs she was holding. Pain shot up her arms, and the ingot slipped from her grip.
“Careful,” Ari muttered, before she could bite the words back, knowing full well her words might only make him more irritable.
March grumbled in reply, but he looked a little embarrassed at his obvious mistake, too. Not that he’d ever admit it to her. Ari looked away, her gaze drifting to the fire’s deep, pulsing glow. The heat made her eyes sting, but she ignored it, giving March a private moment of discomfort.
They lapsed into their work again, the rhythm of the forge a constant undercurrent. Ari’s muscles burned once more, and she was grateful for how grounded it made her feel. March had helped her with her ingots, and she would help him with the ungodly amount of nails he was tasked with making again. A couple of seasons ago, he never would have accepted the help, and this was how she knew they were getting to some approximation of friendship, or at least of usefulness.
The nails weren’t hard to make, just mind-numbingly tedious. March had a particular way he liked them done, and Ari had learned to respect his standards. He wasn’t a man who tolerated sloppiness.
After a while, March paused, wiping sweat from his brow, his gaze drifting to the town square. “Your boyfriend’s here,” he said casually.
Ari’s heart did an unexpected little flip, and she turned instinctively to follow his line of sight. There was no one. She turned back to find March wearing a shit-eating grin, his eyes gleaming with the hint of mischief.
If she hadn’t already been so red from the exertion, the cold, and the heat of the forge, she probably would have turned crimson. She bit down on her tongue, trying to keep her reaction in check. March’s teasing was one thing, but it was hard to tell if he was just enjoying her discomfort or searching for a way into something. His narrowed eyes lingered on her, but she refused to give him the satisfaction.
Ari cursed herself for how quickly her heart had raced at the mention of Balor, for how openly and excitedly she’d reacted. She was grateful for the heat of the forge, which was easily concealing the warmth creeping up her neck.
“Are you gonna stare at me all afternoon, or should we finish making these nails so you can make something nicer?” Ari finally asked, her voice flat but a few notes higher than usual.
“Why’d Adeline take you to the Capital?” He asked, breaking his stare to busy himself with the nails they’d already made. “Should’ve been someone ‘s been here longer.” He muttered, spitting directly into the hot flames. Ari gritted her teeth, her irritation spiking. She wished his hair would catch fire, annoyed at all the thoughts of their tenuous friendship she’d had this afternoon.
“I told her to take Hayden.” Ari said, dropping her tongs a little more forcefully than she meant to. The clatter made it obvious she was rattled, and March didn’t miss the reaction.
“Sure you did. You still think you’re some kind of hero, huh?” His words were mean, but they were nothing new. Besides, Ari had grown up with a brother who’d perfected that tone. She could handle it. She had to handle it.
Ari busied herself, sorting the ingots into her bag. The weight of them seemed to steady her hands, even if they shook a little. “If I recall, you thought I would leave as soon as things got hard.” She closed the bag with a snap. Her hands were shaking, but she told herself it was just from holding something steady for so long. “I think we’re way past that, don’t you?”
March scoffed, crossing his arms. “Thought we were until you started knocking boots with the other most unreliable visitor in Mistria.”
Visitors . Not citizens, not friends, not even acquaintances. His words struck harder than she wanted to admit, but Ari held herself steady, her breath shallow.
Despite the bite of his words, Ari had to stifle a hard laugh. She hadn’t heard anyone say ‘knocking boots’ in years– and even then it wasn’t entirely accurate. But March had pushed just hard enough, hit her pride where it mattered most: the life she was building here, in Mistria, with all its messes and complications and beauty. And Balor belonged here too, even if it was just as Mistria’s most charming and “unreliable visitor” merchant, though Ari was sure everyone here besides March knew him to be more than that.
“March,” Ari said, her smile sharp and sweet, hiding the anger that lurked beneath. “If I wanted advice on who I should or shouldn’t knock boots with in Mistria, I’d ask someone who’s not a weird, angry virgin.” With that, she grabbed the tongs again, clamping down on the ingot with a little more force than necessary, her muscles straining against the heat.
“Fuck you.” March spat, and Ari couldn’t help but smile, realizing she’d found a sensitive spot to press back. They were equal.
“Fuck you ,” she shot back, not willing to let him have the last word this time. It wasn’t like she was particularly more experienced than him– her past encounters were mostly hazy memories at this point, things she’d long moved past– but she was at least a few years older than him, and that seemed to count for something.
March held up his middle finger at her, and Ari mirrored him, both of them glaring at each other.
“Hey bros.” Olric had strolled out from the shop and was smiling at them. If they were two adult cats stuck in a house together, Olric was their kindly and unwitting owner. Ari suspected he knew the effect he had on them, on making people play nice with each other. But if he did, he never, ever let it show. His facade was unbreakable, if it existed at all.
“Hey,” March grumbled, lowering his finger and picking up his hammer again.
“Want some help with these nails?” Olric asked, already donning his apron before March had a chance to respond. Things would go faster with Olric, and it would give Ari a chance to cool off before finally facing Reina to make that pie.
Olric bumped Ari lightly with his shoulder, knocking her off balance for a second. He grinned, his presence always somehow managing to be both warm and overwhelming. “How was the Capital, Ari? I’ve missed picking up your shipments. Best workouts I’ve had in ages.”
All of the mean thoughts she’d had about Olric waking her up when he collected her shipments subsided a bit. The man loved a good workout.
Ari chuckled. “It was alright, but I was ready to come home as soon as I got there.”
Olric patted her head at this, ruffling her hair out of the loose braid she had it in. This should have annoyed her, and if it had been anyone else, it might have. She wondered for a second how much sweat he’d gotten on his hand from doing that, but pushed that thought away.
“How much longer are you on shipment duty, anyway?” She asked, trying to sound casual, and not like she was asking just to find out when Balor might be back.
Olric shrugged. “End of the week, as far as I know!” His brows furrowed slightly, and he glanced at Ari from the corner of his eye. “But he paid me more than enough for the week after that, too. You think that means I should plan on staying up late for another week?”
“Olric.” March’s voice cut in before Ari could respond. “Sounds like he’s trying to rope you into being the town merchant from now on. You’re gonna end up stuck with it.” March’s hammer struck the metal with a louder clank, his tone flat but edged with a certain bitterness. The next strike was even louder, as if he might stop Olric and Ari from talking.
Olric shot a grin at Ari. “Nah, bro! Balor always comes back. Plus, he left some stuff here.” He winked.
Ari couldn’t help but smile at Olric’s optimism, matching it up with her own conviction to believe Balor wouldn’t run forever, he was just busy. With whatever. Hopefully not horse-racing schemes or shady dealings.
Olric took a breath, about to speak again, but then caught himself, letting the words go unsaid. Instead, he flashed a wide smile at Ari and then at his brother. “Look at all these nails you’ve gotten done! Working together is great, bros!”
Ari grinned, but March only responded by redoubling his efforts on the forge, clearly determined to finish the order in its entirety, even if they were nearly done. A job well done to the bitter end. Ari could respect that.
Olric gently pried the tongs from Ari’s hand, finishing up the last nail so she could prep the order box. Her arms were still heavy with the weight of the hammer strikes, the lingering echo of the work settling under her skin. When the nails were all boxed, she pulled up her overalls, retrieved her bag, and grabbed her coat. Her movements were slow and deliberate, savoring the final moments of the task.
“Bye!” She called, waving at Olric, who returned the gesture with a grin.
To her surprise, March also waved, grumbling something unintelligible under his breath. Maybe, Ari thought as she walked towards the inn, they were friends after all.
Reina was busy in the kitchen when Ari arrived, her back turned to the door. She hummed to herself as she worked, and Ari lingered in the doorway, savoring the sound for as long as she could.
She slumped onto a bar stool, and the soft creak was enough to tip Reina off. Soon enough the inn would be full of people filing in for supper, but for now, it was just the two of them.
“Ari!” Reina called brightly, her face lighting up as she finally turned around. She quickly brushed her hands on her apron before pulling it off and crossing the counter to wrap Ari in a warm hug. “I missed you!”
Ari, surprised at the sudden swell of affection, found herself hugging Reina back tightly. “I missed you, too! Adeline and I kept talking about how we need to bring you and Celine next year.”
Ari pulled back first, smiling despite herself. Reina immediately busied herself in the kitchen again, pouring Ari a steaming cup of coffee and rummaging through the fridge for something to eat.
“There was so much amazing food, Reina. I wish I could have snuck some back for you,” Ari said, her stomach growling as she settled into the smell of the kitchen.
Reina pushed a sandwich in front of Ari, and it was then that she realized how hungry she was. And how sweaty. She probably smelled awful, but Reina had hugged her without hesitation. Ari felt a warmth settle in her chest as she took a bite.
“Tell me everything!” Reina said, putting her apron back on with a smile.
Ari dug into her bag and set a squash on the counter, followed by the milk, eggs, flour, and sugar. Reina’s eyes widened at each ingredient, and by the time Ari had everything laid out, she turned to meet her friend’s gaze.
“Does this mean you’re finally going to let me teach you how to cook?” Reina asked, an eyebrow cocked in playful challenge.
Ari laughed nervously, suddenly feeling very out of her depth. “I was actually hoping you’d help me make a pie for Hayden.” She scrunched her nose, glancing over toward the fire. “I think one of my cows wasn’t very nice to him. But we can gossip the whole time!”
Reina laughed, her smile wide. “Willamina…”
“Oh, so you’ve heard?” Ari was laughing now too. That heifer was a handful. “It’s good to know her reputation precedes her.”
“I heard and saw, Ari,” Reina said, her voice dropping a notch. “She took a good chunk out of one of his shirts, and–” she lowered her voice further, glancing around conspiratorially, “–this is hearsay, but she left a horn-shaped bruise on his butt.”
Ari clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her gasp. “Wicked girl.” Willamina was the only girl in her flock with horns, and even then, she’d only grown one. It grew out in a twisted mess on the right side of her head, short and blunt.
Hayden had assured Ari that it was normal, depending on the breed, and Willamina definitely liked to use it to her advantage, poking and prodding like it was her favorite toy.
Reina nodded, her cheeks flushing with the effort to suppress her laughter. Hayden was a very nice man, and it would be very unkind to laugh at his expense. On the other hand, Ari did tell him her flock was trouble and he’d brushed her off.
“I think a pumpkin pie is the perfect remedy for a bruised ass.” Ari said, coming around the counter to join Reina, who had already washed and begun slicing the squash. Ari was grateful for her friend’s help– her arms, stiff and sore from hours at the forge, were nearly useless for the finer tasks required in the making of a pie.
They fell into an easy rhythm, though it mostly involved Reina bustling around the kitchen and Ari following behind her. Ari tried not to think about the unspoken need for balance that always popped up in her mind, but her brain had a hard time letting go, so used to needing to be equal with anyone and everyone that it felt like torture to try and push it aside. Regardless, Reina was doing her a huge favor, and in return, she decided, she’d be completely open about her trip to the Capital.
For the better part of an hour, they gossiped as Reina worked, never once leaving Ari alone with a task. Reina let her do the smaller, less intricate jobs– cracking eggs, stirring the pumpkin pie mixture, pouring it into the crust. Cooking with Ari was a bit like cooking with Luc, if he were more rangy and quieter and a bit more dangerous with knives.
Reina caught Ari up to date on the latest town gossip which was mostly nothing. Aunty Elsie had hosted a sleepover while Eiland and Adeline were away, but Reina hadn’t been able to overhear who was in attendance. She had a sneaking suspicion Terithia or Errol or Landon (or all of them) were there, though. The dragonguard had pooled their allowances to buy a shovel with the hopes of digging up swords “like Lord Eiland does.” They’d succeeded in their mission, much to the dismay of Errol, and just about any adult who crossed paths with Dell before Nora and Holt could intervene.
Ari told Reina about the trip to the Capital, the way Adeline and Eiland acted about their parents– which, Reina assured her, had been exactly like that even before the earthquake, the opulent bathtub, and finally the ball. She shared about Kael, about losing Adeline and Eiland in the crowd, and then, at last, she found herself stuck. She couldn’t figure out how to bring up that she’d seen Balor.
It wasn’t that Reina was the problem, but she was a romantic with the softest heart. Her parents’ love for each other was as clear as day, and Ari couldn’t blame Reina for always seeing the good in everybody, in every situation. But Right now, she wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted to hear about her encounter with Balor. For a fleeting moment, she almost wished she’d laid her thoughts to March, who would have been much meaner about them and much less excited to hear them.
She must’ve stopped talking for longer than she thought, because when she finally looked up, Reina was staring at her with a soft but knowing smile. “Well?” she asked. Her grin was a little too knowing, and for a moment, Ari wondered if Adeline had already spilled the details.
“Did Adeline tell you we saw Balor?” Ari asked, suddenly very interested in tracing the splintering wood in the countertop with her eyes.
“No,” Reina laughed, but there was a glint of mischief in her eyes. “I had a hunch, though.”
Ari swallowed, then reached for her coffee cup when she found her throat much too dry. “Why’s that?”
Reina shrugged, not missing a beat. “I just think you two know how to find each other. Like you’re meant to, even if you both want to keep pretending you’re not.”
Ari made a dramatic retching sound, earning a playful smack from Reina with her oven mitt. Before Ari could respond, Reina kept talking. “And this one time, Maple sat down to terrorize him while he was eating breakfast. He ended up spending the better part of an hour talking to her about the ins and outs of attending a ball in the Capital.”
The image of Maple so dutifully quizzing him, and him patiently explaining everything in return, warmed Ari’s heart. “That’s sweet,” she said softly.
“It was,” Reina agreed, her voice turning a little softer. “Very sweet. And at the end, he started teaching her how to play Primero, so she could work on her bluffing skills.”
Ari’s brow furrowed, her mouth quirking in confusion. “That’s… less sweet.”
Reina’s expression shifted slightly, a tinge of annoyance flashing across her face. “Yeah. She’s already better at bluffing than half the adults in town.”
Ari tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn’t help it– she found it endearing, in its own way. “I think that’s still sweet.”
“He said she’d need to get good at bluffing if she ever wanted to make it as queen.” Reina’s lips twisted into a half-smile. “Maple told him he was a good merchant, and she’d pardon him for beating her at Primero.”
Ari burst out laughing, and Reina joined in, the sound of their giggles filling the space between them. It felt like the weight of the day had been lifted just a little, the conversation flowing more easily now.
Ari told Reina about seeing Balor through the crowd at the ball– the way he’d stood out like a shiny sapphire, flirting with the lord who’d eventually kissed his hand. Reina’s breath caught when she heard this, and Ari could tell her friend was processing, watching her with a mixture of surprise and concern. But Ari kept going, sharing how Balor had danced with her afterward, and how they’d talked in the hall.
Ari always tried her best to keep as much as she knew about Balor private as she could– it wasn’t her place to share who he was with everyone, after all. But she couldn’t stop herself from telling Reina about how confused he’d been as to why just leaving a note after spending the night with her had upset her so much.
This prompted Reina to lean in a little, her voice lowering as she shared a bit of gossip. “Balor admitted to my dad that he’s never been much for anything long-term,” she said, her tone soft and matter of fact. Ari was aware of this. What he’d said to her when he’d spent the night– about nobody ever stopping him, how conflicted he’d looked about the whole thing– played in her head more than she cared to admit.
Reina hesitated for a moment before continuing, a knowing look crossing her face. “But I will say this– he certainly seems different with you.”
Ari couldn’t help rolling her eyes at the suggestion, but there was a warmth spreading in her chest that she couldn’t ignore. People who live on the road or at sea or who wander into the unknown all do so for a reason . Maybe it was partially true.
And maybe, she thought, that reason could be carefully uncovered, like an artifact, and placed on a shelf– neatly studied, appreciated for its significance, but not forgotten. It would have its place in the larger scheme of things, where other moments that make a life could surround it, stacking together like pieces of a puzzle.
She skirted around the details about Adeline and Sage, not wanting to betray Adeline even to her closest friend, but in doing so, the night became harder to piece together in her mind. As dusk settled outside, Ari knew her gossip time with Reina would have to come to a close soon. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, but her voice came out smaller than she expected– almost sheepish. “I kissed him on the cheek at the end of the night.”
Reina’s eyes widened, and she froze, a spoonful of ice cream hanging halfway to her mouth. She blinked a few times, clearly trying to process the words that Ari had just shared so openly. “Ari! A kiss on the cheek? What?”
Ari groaned inwardly. She should’ve known. She had greatly overestimated the subtlety of that detail. “It just felt like the right thing to do. It wasn’t–” She cursed how quickly her voice betrayed her, giddy and soft.
“You’ve kissed him before though, haven’t you?” Reina interrupted, leaning forward with wide, eager eyes. “I mean, he spent the night at your house. Surely?” She dropped the spoon of ice cream into her bowl, leaving Ari to decide how to finish the thought.
Ari’s face reddened further and she tugged on her braid. “I–well, yeah, but–” Her voice faltered, not quite wanting to say it out loud.
Reina laughed through her nose, delighted. “Ohhh, you’re not fooling anyone.” She flicked Ari lightly on the shoulder, teasing. She pushed the rest of her ice cream around her bowl with her spoon, and Ari watched it intently, the noise almost hypnotic against her racing thoughts.
“It’s the little things that lead to the bigger things, Ari.” Reina’s voice cut through Ari’s stupor, bringing her back to the moment.
Ari blinked, words from long ago echoing in her mind. She smiled as they played on her lips. “Like, once you start kissing, you don’t go back to holding hands.”
Reina laughed, but then a thoughtful look crossed her face, her brows knitting in genuine curiosity. “Is that true?”
Ari giggled, the sound softened by the hum of the kitchen. “It’s just something my dad used to say to me when I was a teenager.” A fond smile crept onto her lips at the memory of her gruff old man, furious that she’d been sneaking off with the son of another captain under the cover of darkness.
Hemlock appeared from the stairs, leaning against the counter opposite the women. “That’s just something dads have to say,” he commented thoughtfully as he gathered their empty coffee cups in one hand. “But for the record, it’s wrong. Sometimes you kiss and hold hands and it’s awesome.”
The oven chimed, letting them know the pie was finally done. Ari tried not to focus too hard on how much Hemlock had overheard, but she couldn’t ignore that his casual interruption made her feel exposed. Nice as he was, he could never seem to keep things to himself, which Ari found amusing given that he was a bartender, of all things. As he came around the kitchen to slip on his apron, he patted Ari on the shoulder. “Missed you, kid.”
Ari reminded herself that ‘I missed you’ was just something people said to be polite, but still– hearing it made something warm and soft stir in her chest. “I missed you, too,” she replied with a grin, one that she couldn’t shake even if she tried.
Josephine appeared shortly later, followed by Valen and the dragonguard. Terithia showed up shortly after that, already regaling the kids with tales of her time at sea. The inn was heating up, and Ari was still sweating through her clothes, though a bit less obviously now. Finally, Hayden moseyed his way in. Ari smiled at him, but tried not to look when he sat down. The big man was wincing, and her smile quickly shifted into something more sheepish as Reina set the still-hot pumpkin pie in front of him.
“Sorry, neighbor,” Ari said, feeling a bit guilty. “I hope this pie makes up for whatever my girls did to you.”
Hayden looked embarrassed for only a moment before letting out a quaking laugh, bringing his hand down on the counter. “I suppose I couldn’t have expected you not to find out.”
“Willamina looked particularly guilty,” Ari said, taking off the apron she’d been loaned. She didn’t mention that she’d found a bit of his flannel shirt in her pen– she was planning to tie this around the little porcelain horse she had for him.
Hayden shook his head, grinning. “Really, it’s not the first time I’ve been prodded by an animal, and I certainly don’t think it’ll be the last.”
Ari found herself close enough to be caught in one of his bone-crunching hugs or playful smacks of affection, but much to her surprise, he restrained himself. Instead, he offered her a warm smile and a tip of his head.
Reina beamed with delight as Hayden dug into the pie, not even bothering to cut a slice, opting to go at it with a fork. Hayden loved to eat, and Reina loved to make; they had a lovely, mutually beneficial arrangement.
Ari stayed a little longer, listening to the stories swirling around her. The sun had long disappeared, and it could have been 7 PM or 1 AM outside when she finally said her goodbyes, secretly wishing Balor were there to walk her home like he had done that summer when she'd stayed late. The sweat from the day had dried on her skin, her hair weighed down by the effort of it all. She could walk herself home, she reminded herself– but the thought of Balor’s company lingered like an ache in her chest.
At home, Ari scrubbed her hair and body in the shower, her thoughts drifting to the week ahead. Before leaving the manor in the Capital, Adeline had slipped both the shampoo and conditioner from the opulent bathroom into Ari’s bag. Ari hadn’t even told her she’d been considering stealing them– at least, she didn’t think she had. Regardless, she was grateful now, and silently promised herself she’d try to stretch them out as long as possible.
When she stoked the fire and crawled into bed, Of Stars and Shadows was still there at her feet, waiting. She squirmed back out from under the covers, pulling a box from beneath her bed and selecting the first book she found: Everything The Rain Promises and More , an old foraging guide her mom had kept for her. She placed Of Stars and Shadows on her nightstand first, covering it with the reference book.
That would block any temptation to keep reading. There were more useful things to focus on. She would give herself a week or so, read the last few pages of the romance, then feed Elsie some platitudes about it, all while gently guiding her to talk about her own romantic adventures. It was the perfect plan, Ari thought, as she snuggled further under the sheets, the crackle of the fire lulling her into a restless, uneasy half-sleep.
Right on schedule, Ari woke to the crunch of Olric’s footsteps by her window at two in the morning. She sat up in bed, muscles aching from the day’s exertions, a headache starting to build at the base of her skull. Stumbling her way to the kitchen, she grabbed a glass of water, not bothering to turn on any lights. As she drank, she listened to Olric sing a wordless song, and considered for a moment that she should go out and politely let him know he’d woken her up. But the effort of putting on something other than her nightgown felt unnecessary. Instead, she refilled her glass and trudged back to bed.
She threw another log on the fire, which had long since died back, and cursed herself for not keeping it alive through the night. Then she crawled under the still-warm sheets, hoping to find sleep.
It seemed sleep was going to evade her.Olric’s singing usually soothed her back into slumber, but tonight it only seemed to deepen the itch in her brain, a restlessness that wouldn't be ignored. She stared up at the ceiling, willing sleep to take over. But when she heard the loud thump of the shipping container lid closing, followed by Olric’s heavy footsteps trudging off toward Hayden’s house, her body remained unmoving. She turned onto her side, then promptly onto her stomach when she found laying on her arm hurt her sore muscles too much. An itch was building in her brain.
She ignored it for as long as she could, but it wouldn’t go away. In the safety of her home, in the quiet middle of the night, she reached for Of Stars and Shadows . It hadn’t put her to sleep earlier, but maybe it would this time. The glow from the fire was just enough for her to make out the words on the page comfortably.
She read through the next two chapters and found her shoulders growing tense again. Liora was on the run, and Kairos had accompanied her, insisting that the road was safer with companions and that she owed him a favor after he'd saved her life. But it was becoming increasingly clear that there was more to it. Kairos was stealing reverent glances at Liora when she bathed in a river. Liora tended to his wounds when they encountered trouble, admiring his musculature in such detail that it almost made Ari roll her eyes, even if it still made her mind wander.
It was well past 3 AM when Ari looked up again. She needed to stop reading before it got any worse. But there was something about the book, something about the way it made her feel that kept pulling her back in. Her throat was dry again, and a dull ache was starting to throb at the back of her skull. She told herself that she’d read just one more chapter– the last one had ended on a cliffhanger. If she didn’t read on, she’d lie awake all night wondering what happened next. And she certainly wasn’t going to pick it up in the daylight.
The next chapter was different. Something about it unsettled her. Her stomach twisted, and she clutched the edge of the blanket tighter as her eyes began to race over the words.
As Liora pressed closer to Kairos, she could feel his breath hitch, the taut muscles in his back rigid beneath her fingers, as though he were fighting against the instinct to surrender to her in this most fragile, tender moment. She kissed him again, this time deeper, slower, savoring the way he responded to her. His trust was a fragile thing– Like a horse that flinches when the wind blows, afraid the next touch will be a strike.
Ari felt a warmth spread through her, but she couldn’t seem to look away from the words. She was clenching her thighs slightly together now, too, her whole body tense. Her fingers trembled slightly as she traced each sentence, feeling the words pulling her deeper into the story.
When Kairos finally pressed into Liora, she felt his breath stutter against the soft skin of her neck, a sensation that only made her involuntarily raise her hips to meet him. Liora could feel his walls crumbling as they moved together. It was more than a physical release. It was an emotional surrender, and he crumbled before her like sand, though she’d only ever known him to be made of gold.
Ari’s breath hitched, but before she could process it, her stomach churned. She slammed the book shut, her heart pounding in her chest. The sound of it echoed in her ears, drowning out the crackling of the fire. The next few pages were filled with more descriptions, none of which Ari wanted to process. Somewhere along the way, her mind had replaced Kairos with Balor, and the weight of that realization settled like a stone in her gut. She felt sick, her skin flushed and hot. Something inside her was cracking, pulling her apart in ways she couldn’t understand.
In a panic, Ari tossed the book aside, the weight of it hitting the floor with a muffled thud. She grabbed the other book from her nightstand, Everything The Rain Promises and More , and opened it hastily, desperate to distract herself from the storm of thoughts swirling in her head.
But it didn’t help. It didn’t stop the heat, didn’t make the thoughts go away.
It wasn’t like she hadn’t fantasized about Balor before– she’d done plenty of that. She wasn’t immune to the pull of him. But this was different. This was the first time she’d ever seen something she wanted written down so directly. Like it wasn’t a secret. The words in the book matched up with desires she hadn’t fully understood, opening a door she hadn’t known was there. Half-formed images danced in her mind, making her heart race even as the ache in her body grew.
Her body was much too warm, and she was too aware of the ache in her chest, in her thighs. She couldn’t push the images away, couldn’t quiet her thoughts, no matter how hard she tried.
With a heavy sigh, Ari leaned back against the headboard, closing her eyes as if that might help. Her mind played an imagined moment, over and over, of Balor crumbling before her, into her. Not a grand gesture, not gifts left on her doorstep or pretty words– just himself. Who he was when nobody was looking.
If she let herself go unchecked, she could chase that feeling forever. She could chase it and never stop, let it consume her like she let her work consume her. A job well done to the bitter end.
Ari bumped her head against the headboard gently, trying to shake the image loose, as if the pressure could chase off both the headache building behind her eyes and the lingering longing that was tightening inside her chest. The book in her hands was forgotten, though her fingers absently traced the cover, grounding her in something less overwhelming.
In the morning, she would pack her things and head to the mines. She would break rocks, work until her arms and legs trembled, only stopping when the physical exhaustion started to keep her mind in order.