Chapter Text
At home, Harry Potter was having an existential crisis.
He rolled himself up inside his blanket, and his whole body was burning hot as he remembered all the things that had happened between him and Severus.
There were just so, so many things that Harry had never paid any mind to before.
Like the first time that they hugged, Harry had forgotten how solid Severus’ body was, how the man had stood there and comforted both him and Teddy.
Like the first time they talked, and appeared in public together. Harry had been slightly awkward, but once Severus put his hand on Harry’s back, everything had been fine, and Harry had managed to smile that whole evening, and by the end of it, Severus had given him a peck on the cheek.
Shit!
That was the start of so many more, and they had been named the most affectionate couple for that so many times.
Harry had laughed about it before with Severus, but when the man appeared slightly uncomfortable, Harry had never done that again. He knew that Severus hated being talked about by the press, and being with a child half his age might not help. So Harry never mentioned that again.
But gosh…
How could he never notice how soft Severus’ lips were. They were thin and dry, unlike many’s, and it was incredibly sexy, to the point that Harry was having a heatstroke just thinking about it..
He rolled on his stomach, unable to suppress thinking about Severus.
His lips, his elegant and gentle hand, his shoulder, his solid body.
Everything was just perfect.
And his hair.
Gosh, his hair.
Harry used to laugh about it with Ron so much, saying how greasy it was, how the man must have taken showers with olive oil.
But holy shit the first time Harry touched them.
It felt so cool, so smooth to the touch, and it flowed between his fingers like silk. When Severus took time to take care of them after the shower, they would be slightly fluffier than normal, and Teddy loved touching it.
Harry thought it was the main reason why the man took so much time with it nowadays, despite his busy schedule.
He was the perfect man, the perfect father, and not to mention him being the youngest Vice President of the Europe Potion Association these days. After the war, he had been active in the Association with the help of Harry’s vault, and his credibility in the community skyrocketed. With his adjustments and new inventions, he was soon acknowledged and appeared in many papers. The number of events he had to go to these days was no less than Harry’s.
He was also a War Hero, first class Order of Merlin, and an unofficial Hogwarts advisor in defence and curriculum.
Harry slammed his face on his pillow.
Was he fucking blind?
He was literally married to the most talented and perfect man in Britain, and he walked around with absolutely zero thought about that.
He literally took Severus for granted for 6 years, enjoying the man’s care, accepting his help with Teddy and his help around the house.
They talked almost everyday, lived in the same house, and Harry was being an oblivious idiot to not see how attractive that man was, now that he no longer had the weight of the war on him.
Ever since they started living together, Harry had been trying to cook for Teddy and Severus as well, and now the man’s physical condition is so much better than before, and he was just…
Gosh…
It was as if millions of images Harry had missed in the past 6 years were now flashing in his mind, and he was being overloaded with information. It was an onslaught of sensation, with every lingering touch, every soft kiss on the cheek, several at the corner of his mouth. The way Severus would casually touch him sometimes, the way he looked at Harry with gentle gazes…
Merlin…
He was so in love with Severus…
Harry groaned, and then, he whined as he thought about the contract that they had had at the beginning of the marriage.
It was mutually beneficial…
And Severus had made it clear in the beginning that he was only in for the benefit, and he was just fulfilling his part of the contract.
Harry’s chest ached painfully at that, and a sense of dread washed over him like waves, almost suffocating.
The contract had already run its course 4 years ago, and the fact that Severus had not mentioned it after Harry brushed it off the first time was like a miracle to Harry. He now realised how he was living in an extended period, with his marriage being able to end at any time Severus wished it, and Harry wouldn’t have any reason to stop him.
It was like standing on a shaking ground, not knowing when it would sink and collapse.
Harry found out now that he was utterly frightened of the thought.
He couldn’t let this end…
But he didn’t know how.
And he couldn’t just tell Severus how he felt now, not after 6 years of them being friends. It would feel like a betrayal.
Severus had never hinted that he wanted something more. In fact, the moment they walked out of the Floo, Severus would take his hand off Harry’s back almost immediately, not even wanting to touch him a second longer.
Being friends was fine, but Harry knew Severus didn’t want anything more.
The man was his father's age.
He was not even interested in Harry in that way, not in the years they had been together.
To be touching his friend's son...
Gosh.
It must feel so bad.
Guilt flooded Harry’s chest, and tears pricked his eyes at the thought that he had brought Severus distress by forcing the man to touch him at formal events, kiss him, even.
They did agree to it, but it was part of the contract…
Harry groaned, and he felt miserable.
He needed to talk about this with someone.
Needed some advice.
He couldn’t keep this to just himself, it felt like dying, and Harry wasn’t sure that he could take it.
Ron and Hermione were out of the equation. They would yell in his face, and there was a chance that Severus would know if they knew. They were basically family…
Harry summoned his auto quill and a piece of paper. He wrote a brief letter, saying he needed to talk, and then called for their owl, Gilbert, to deliver the letter to David.
Bless that man.
He was going to be so pissed at Harry, but Harry needed someone to talk to, and a man who refused to gossip but loved hearing them was the perfect candidate for this.
Once he sent the letter, Harry fell back on the bed, dizzy and burning with embarrassment.
He suspected that he had really gotten Teddy’s fever…
Harry curled up under the blanket, and he tried to sleep for a bit, hoping that once he woke up, he would be able to deal with it.
***
Well…
Liars never had a good ending, since karma would get to them, sooner or later.
Harry laid on bed, body heavy and miserable.
He was really running a fever.
Maybe his head was overloaded and everything he felt about Severus was just symptoms of a fever?
Harry chuckled at his thoughts, wishing that everything could be that simple.
He was hungry, and his head felt like it was splitting in half.
The house was too quiet and dark, and Harry hated himself.
He rolled on his stomach, stuffing his face into the pillow, silently wishing for Severus.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“Dad… Are you awake? Are you alright? Father asked me to check on you.” Teddy’s small voice was at the door, and Harry had never felt so relieved.
“Come in…” His voice was also slightly hoarse.
Teddy opened the door and peeked inside.
“So dark…” He whispered, “You don’t want the lamp?”
“I do. Will you turn it on for me?” Harry said, rolling to face Teddy at the door.
“Okay.”
Teddy walked inside and moved carefully to Harry’s bedside table, turning on the lamp there.
The light was yellow and gentle, but Harry’s eyes still prickled a bit.
“Hello, little one.” Harry touched Teddy’s hair, “How’s your day at the Weasley?”
“It was so fun!” Teddy cheered immediately, “Fred and Aurora taught me a lot of new things, and I told them what I learnt at school. Victoire and Dominique played with me as well.”
Harry’s head throbbed at Teddy’s excited tone, but he smiled nevertheless.
“Really?” He hummed.
“Yes, and grandma’s food was sooooo good.” Teddy cheered.
“Oh?” Harry smiled, “Did you eat your vegetables?”
“Yes. Father wouldn’t let me leave if I don’t.” Teddy frowned.
“Your father is right.” Harry chuckled, and his cheeks warmed at the words.
“I know…” Teddy sighed, “Are you alright, dad?”
He reached out and touched Harry’s forehead, then he gasped and slid off the bed, running down the stairs.
“Father, father! Daddy is burning. He is going to die!!!”
“Edward Lupin!” Harry chuckled at Severus’ scolding tone, and he blushed, thinking how he had lied about getting a fever and how he had rejected Severus’ care.
After some quiet conversation, Harry knew that Teddy had been assigned his ‘punishment seat’ on the stairs while Severus rumbled with his potions. A few minutes later, there was the sound of heavy footsteps, and Harry’s heart thud with every step taken by the man.
As he got closer, Harry’s face burned.
“Harry?” Severus’ voice was at the door, his voice low and quiet, contrary to Teddy’s. And it felt like a caress inside his brain.
The devil inside his heart swooned, and Harry thought that he might melt on the spot.
“Harry, may I come in?” Severus asked softly, and Harry looked at the silhouette of the man that he had recently harboured deep affection to.
“Yes…” Harry rasped, and he cleared his voice, trying to not embarrass himself any further.
Severus walked in, and he sat on the bed, reaching out to Harry, but stopped at the last second.
Harry thought for a moment to just lean in, but he couldn’t.
“May I touch you?” Severus asked, and his voice was so good, what the hell?
Harry nodded, closing his eyes.
The moment Severus touched him, Harry flinched, but he didn’t move away. The man’s hand was cool, his skin slightly rough, and it felt nice.
“Mn…” Harry hummed, and this time, he pressed closer.
“You are burning up.” Severus lowered his voice, and Harry could hear the frown in his tone.
“I’m sorry…” Harry said, because he didn’t know what else to say, not when his brain was melting from the touch of Severus’ hand alone.
“Why would you apologise?” Severus sighed, “I have medicine right here, but you have to eat something first. We brought something from Molly’s, do you think you could eat?”
Harry was hungry, but his mouth tasted like sand, and he didn’t think he could do it, but he nodded anyway.
“I’ll come back.” Severus removed his hand slowly, and Harry savoured every moment of contact like it was his very own life.
Harry looked at Severus’ back as the man walked out of the door, then he shuffled off the bed, ran into the bathroom to deal with his much needed need. Once he was done, he washed his hand and looked at himself in the mirror.
His face was slightly red, and his hair was a mess.
Harry groaned and in a hopeless attempt, he tried to tame his hair, just a little bit.
After 5 minutes, Harry cursed his hair and gave up.
The room was dark anyway.
He walked out, and Severus and Teddy were already on the bed waiting for him.
“If you take any longer, I will start to think that you have flushed yourself away.” Severus drawled, his voice thick with sarcasm, but his hand was stirring Harry’s porridge.
Harry chuckled, and he shuffled on the bed. Teddy immediately got on his right while Severus was right next to him, on his left.
“Eat and get better, dad.” Teddy smiled brightly, and he leaned on Harry’s arm.
“Of course.” Harry smiled at the boy.
“Open.” Severus said, bring the spoon to Harry’s mouth.
“Oh, oh no. I can… I can eat by myself.” Harry stuttered, his face burning even hotter than before, and he started to feel dizzy with the amount of blood that was rushing to his head.
“You could barely stand properly, I do not wish to see you spill this on your bed.” Severus lowered his voice impossibly deep, “Say ah, Harry…”
“Daddy…”
For a moment, Harry had thought he had made the sound in response to Severus’ voice, but then he realised that it was Teddy, waking his hazy brain.
“Y-yes?” Harry turned to the boy.
“You have to eat to get better.” Teddy murmured, his voice sleepy.
“Of… of course.” Harry chuckled nervously, and he turned to Severus, reluctantly opening his mouth.
Severus hummed and fed Harry the porridge. His gesture was so gentle, so careful that it hurted Harry’s chest sweetly.
He moaned at the food, and surely not at Severus’ caring gesture.
Severus was staring at him, and Harry blushed, thinking how strange of a sound he had made. He was about to apologise when Severus brought another spoon of porridge to his mouth and blew softly on it before bringing it to Harry’s mouth.
Harry had seen Severus do it multiple times when he fed Teddy, and Harry had done it many times himself, but never had anyone done it to him.
Something inside Harry was struck dead-on, and in one moment, he felt like he was suffocating in the love that had just bursted inside of his chest.
He ate in silence, savouring every spoon, and the small bowl of porridge couldn’t run out faster.
“Are you hungry?” Severus put the bowl aside and gave Harry a cup of warm water.
“Mn.” Harry nodded, feeling like he was about to cry.
“Do you want some more?” Severus asked.
“Oh, no thank you.” Harry shook his head. He was full.
“Here’s your medicine. Take it. I’ll be here.” Severus sent the bowl back to the kitchen with a swipe of his wand, and Harry looked at the man.
“There’s no need… I think I’ll be fine now. I trust your potion.” Harry murmured.
“Then you might consider coming to me first, next time you are not well.” Severus sighed.
“Hm?” Harry was still thinking about how gentle Severus had been to him that he didn’t really understand what the man was saying, and his brain supplied him with an interpretation of Severus’ words. He didn’t come to David first when he was sick, though. He came to David because he needed advice. When it came to potions, of course he trusted Severus the most. “Oh no, David is different.”
Harry had missed the way Severus tensed, and since it was still slightly dark, he also missed the change in the man’s expression, the way his entire face went cold.
“Teddy is asleep. Can you please take him back to his room? You can go too, no need to stay with me. I’m fine now.” Harry smiled brightly, trying not to make Severus worried.
At the mention of his name, Teddy stirred, “Daddy? Did you eat and take your medicine?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.
Harry gently took Teddy’s hand off of his face, “Yes, I did. Thank you for looking after me.”
“No problem. Let’s sleep together, okay? I’ll protect you from bad guys tonight.” Teddy murmured, and Harry chuckled.
“Of course, if that’s what you want.” He smiled.
Teddy cheered, “Okay! So I’ll guard your right, while father will guard your left.”
“Yes?” Harry blinked.
“Father, lie down.” Teddy looked at Severus, “Let’s protect daddy tonight?”
Harry turned to Severus, his eyes widened, and suddenly didn’t understand what was happening.
Severus chuckled, “I don’t think your dad needs that much protection, Teddy.”
Even though the thought of Severus lying down next to him was too sudden, the way Severus refused made Harry’s chest feel like it had been torn open, and he must have looked dejected, because Teddy immediately scolded Severus, “Why did you say that? Daddy is sick, you must protect him! Don’t you love him, father?”
The words made Harry’s heart skip several beats at once, and he didn’t dare to look up, because he was afraid he might cry if Severus refused or straight up saying no.
But then, Severus just sighed and slowly undressed himself.
The sound of ruffling clothes made Harry’s blood turn to lava, and he looked at Teddy, suddenly didn’t know what to do.
“Don’t be sad, daddy. Father is just stingy. He loves you.” Teddy murmured, “I love you!”
“Yes, I love you too, honey.” Harry hugged Teddy, and he wanted to cry from the intensity of the emotion inside of him.
I love him too…
“Let’s lie down.” Teddy said, “You must rest.”
“Of course, of course.” Harry’s voice was shaking, and they laid down.
Teddy hugged Harry tightly, and he smiled, “I’ll hug you like this and protect you, just like you did to me when I had nightmares.”
“Awww. Thank you so much.” Harry smiled.
“Father, you must have hugged daddy from behind too. I entrust daddy’s back to you, since I am not as powerful as you yet.” Teddy looked at Severus, who was sitting at the edge of the bed.
Harry flinched, and it was 10 seconds too long before Severus finally decided to lie down, shuffling closer.
The moment he reached out and reluctantly pressed his chest against Harry’s back, Harry felt like he had had a stroke, and the face of Death flashed in front of his vision as his heart choked on 5 litres of blood, his lungs seized, and his brain froze all thoughts and exploded.
“Well…” Severus’ low voice rumbled from Harry’s back, all the way along his spine, to his stomach, and shook him to the tip of his toes.
The man’s breath was lingering hotly at Harry’s sensitive nape and his ears, and Harry felt like he was one more breath away from actually visiting the land of the dead.
“I guess I’ll act as your protector tonight, then, Mister Potter.” Severus said, his voice thick and smooth like velvet.
And Harry thought that maybe that was the moment he passed out from overheating.