Chapter Text
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28 AT 14:29 (2:29 PM)
FROM: Steve
TO: My Ohana / The Wedding Party
Steve: 🚨ATTENTION🚨 I would like everyone to please say hello to the future Lieutenant Daniel Douglas McGarrett.
Danno: Ehhh we gotta workshop the name babe. That one doesn't look right to me. Also, outta all the pictures you could've used, THAT'S the one you go with?
Steve: What’s wrong with it?
Danno: I look like some frat boy shmuck who doesn't know the meaning of the word "no."
Steve: That’s oddly specific.
Danno: A story for when you return. Speaking of, I hope you've ordered our food, and aren't texting while driving. 🤨 You know how LA drivers are.
Steve: Relax, Your Majesty. I've already placed the order. They're cooking it now. Just waiting on the food.
Kono: Whoa! Give a gal some warning before you showoff like that, birthday boy!
Danno: What can I say? I aim to please. 😉 And thank you, dear Kono. 😊
Bridget: Is that what it's called? I just thought it was typical male bravado. Also, happy birthday, you giant dork. Love you. 😘
Danno: Thank you, darling sister. I love you too. You can also take your bravado and shove it down your throat for all I care, you mook.
Tani: Happy birthday, Danny! I must say this pic definitely gives “college frat boy.” Not bad, old man. 😁
Danno: Really, Rey? Old man? I'm wounded. But I take comfort in knowing that you'll be where I am in a few years. That and the fact I'm not as old as you think, and could still break a heart or two if I wanted to.
Mary: Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Because then I would have to do unspeakable things to you. 🤨 I do not look good in an orange jumpsuit.
Steve: Relax, Mare. No one's breaking anything. We're good.
Mary: So long as were understood.
Danno: Wonderful, I've been insulted and threatened, all before lunch. You always promise the sweetest things, Mary. ☺️😂
Mary: We McGarretts are men and women of our words. Also, happy birthday, sunshine. 😆☀️
Danno: Thank you, my dear.
Chin: Congrats on another year, brah. And this picture looks sweet. What prompted this?
Danno: Oh! Well, your darling commander decided that the first thing we were going to do when we arrived to LA was get wet. As in, right off the plane straight to the nearest body of water he could find, which in this case happened to be a warehouse with a giant tub of water. I know that seals are semi-aquatic animals and whatnot, and Steve is no different. So he decided that an early birthday present would be for us to take pictures while we're wet. Fun right? 😒
Steve: FOR THE LAST TIME, I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS A WATER-THEMED PHOTOSHOOT!!! THE AD DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT WHEN I BOOKED IT!!! 😡😤 Chin, I thought a small quick photoshoot would be a nice way to kickstart this vacation. AT NO POINT did I know about there being water involved.
Danno: And yet you didn't cancel it.
Steve: Because I had to put half down as a deposit!!! I wasn't gonna let us waste all that money !!!
Danno: I swear Chin, it was the couples’ retreat all over again.
Chin: Yikes. Sorry l asked.
Junior: Hold on. “Us?” As in you took pictures too, Steve?
Danno: Oh, absolutely! Behold Mr. August himself, in all his GQ glory!
Tani: Oh wow. 😳
Kono: Damn Steve.
Catherine: What Kono said.
Jerry: Looking good there, Commander. 🙂
Adam: And somehow badass at the same time.
Mary: I can see your nipples in this picture, Steve.
Bridget: Same, but it's not necessarily a bad thing to me, mind you.
Tani: Not at all.
Catherine: Of course not.
Danno: Hey! Keep it in your pants, you vultures! Go drool over your own animals. This one's mine.
Eric: Not bad, Commander. Push comes to shove, if this gig with Five-0 doesn't pan out, we can always side hustle by selling calendars.
Tani: Oooh, I like the way you think, Eric. 🤔
Eric: Exactly! Beautiful faces in suggestive poses. We'll call it “Five-0 Unleashed.”
Junior: I'm...not opposed to it. Which is weird because I'm trying to determine what I just read.
Adam: Ditto.
Danno: Well I AM opposed to it, and would like to take this opportunity to remind Eric and all of you that our children can also see this.
Grace: Happy birthday, Danno! I think you and Uncle Steve's pictures look amazing! 🥰
Danno: Aww, thank you monkey! 😘
Steve: Thanks, Grace Face 🥰💕
Nahele: Yeah, these pics are totally badass guys! And happy birthday, Uncle Danno!
Danno: Language, Hele, but thank you! 😊
Junior: Oh yeah, happy birthday, Danny! 🎉🎂🥳🎊
Eric: Happy birthday, Uncle D!
Adam: Happy birthday, Danny. Here's to many more.
Jerry: Happy birthday, Danny!
Danno: Thank you guys. 😊
Lou: HOLD THE HELL ON!!!! WAIT JUST ONE GODDAMN MINUTE!!!!
Danno: Language, Lou. The kiddos can see this.
Lou: Did you guys miss Steve's announcement earlier?!?!?!
Steve: I was wondering how long this was going to take.
Danno: To be honest, I was starting to get worried. For a group full of detectives and nosy family members, you guys are a little slow on the uptake.
Chin: Oh I saw, I was just waiting on confirmation. So is it true, Steve?
Steve: It is. He said yes. 🥰
Tani: Wait, WHAT?!
Bridget: Oh PLEASE be talking about what I think you're talking about.
Danno: 😏 He said YES. 🥰🥳💍
Tani: OMG!!!!!! 😱
Kono: 🫨😨🤯😍
Eric: YES!!!!! FUCKING FINALLY!!!! WOOOOO!!! LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!!
Bridget: I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!!!
Mary: YAAYYYY! Congratulations, Steve and Danny!!
Danno: LANGUAGE!!!! Seriously?!?!?!
Grace: I think we can let the profanity slide just this once, Danno. This has been a long time coming.
Nahele: Yeah, we've heard worse from both you and Uncle Steve. Why do you think we asked for noise cancelling headphones for Christmas last year?
Steve: Oh dear God. 😳🫣
Danno: Who are youse and what have youse done with my daughter and future stepson?
Adam: 😂Congratulations, you two. And maybe close/lock the door next time. 🫣
Chin: Congratulations to both of you.
Jerry: Congratulations, you guys!!
Junior: YES! Congratulations both of you!! 🍾🍾
Lou: My man!!!! Congratulations, big dog!! And happy birthday, Danny!
Noelani: Just finished up in the lab, and my phone's been going crazy again. Happy birthday, Danny! And these pictures of the both of you guys look amazing. And congratulations!🤩🥳
Max: Mazel tov to both of you on your upcoming nuptials!!
Catherine: Congratulations, sailor. And detective. You two belong together. And happy birthday, Danny 😊
Steve: Thanks, Cath. That means a lot coming from you. And a huge mahalo to all of you.
Danno: Thanks Catherine. And ditto to what Steve said.
Steve: We haven't made any arrangements yet, but when we do, you guys will be the first to know.
Danno: Meaning this just happened not that long ago, and we're still processing it. SOMEONE just couldn't wait until we got back to share the news, and this was the quickest way to do it.
Steve: Don't you dare pin this all on me, Daniel. You're the one who couldn't stop crying for almost an hour afterwards.
Danno: I’m an emotional person, Steven. You've known this about me for ages. And to be honest I didn't think I was gonna be getting married again.
Steve: Glad I could prove you wrong babe. 😊
Danno: 🥰
Tani: Oh, God. It's going to be worse now at work isn't it? 🙄
Junior: So. Much. Worse. 🫠
Lou: You kids better be glad that Renee didn't become a cop. I'd be worse than them.
Adam: I can believe that, Lou. She's a strong woman.
Lou: Damn right she is. Best one l've ever known.
Catherine: Congratulations again you two. We'll let you guys get back to your vacation.
Bridget: WAIT! Aren't we forgetting something??
Mary: What are you talking about, Bridge?
Steve: Oh yeah, I noticed the chat is all blue now.
Danno: Oh, yeah, and I can see when there's multiple people typing now. Did the holdouts finally break down and switch teams? 👀
Jerry: Yes, but not by choice. 🙄
Adam: 😅 I told you guys I would switch once mine finally gave out on me. Let's just say our hands was forced.
Chin: That's the simplest way to put it. 😆
Steve: What do you mean? What happened?
Lou: A wannabe Aaron Wright copycat, the ACTUAL Aaron Wright, a video game, a prison riot, a cell tower blackout, and a hostage situation involving Chin, Adam and Jerry.
Steve: Seriously? What the hell?!
Tani: Yeah let's just say it's been a rough 72 hours, but we're good now.
Danno: Wait. Is this that "Watchdogs Attack" thing I saw on the news last night?
Adam: The one and the same.
Danno: What happened?
Junior: Uh uh, nope! That case has a 3 beer minimum, and you two aren't here to partake. It'll have to wait until you guys get back. In the meantime, what did we forget, Bridget?
Bridget: THE POOL!!!! Who won the pool?!?!??
Tani: Oh fuck. 🤦🏽♀️
Kono: Crap. I totally forgot about that.
Catherine: Same. 🤦🏻♀️
Mary: Aw dammit. Me too.
Jerry: Oh yeahhhh...that WAS a thing, wasn't it?
Junior: Yup.
Noelani: So who won?
Steve: Wait a minute. Did you guys seriously bet on our relationship?
Danno: AGAIN?!?!?!
Lou: Oh relax you two. We gotta get our kicks somewhere. So who won last time? I forgot.
Kono: I think Chin did, because he was the bookie. So he can't collect again, even though he put into the pool again.
Chin: No harm done for me, I'm just curious to see how this ends.
Max: As am I.
Lou: Well let's see. Steve proposed to Danny on Danny's birthday, while they were out of town.
Catherine: Well, who had THAT? I don't recall anyone having anything that specific.
Tani: We should probably refer to our bookie. Chin?
Chin: I'm checking now. Huh, looks like someone did have that.
Bridget: Of course they did. Who's the lucky son of a bitch?
Chin: Not son. Sons. Plural. We have ourselves a 3-way tie. Max said Steve would pop the question sometime this summer. Adam said Steve and Danny would get engaged while on vacation. And Eric said Steve would propose on Danny's birthday. Congratulations, you guys.
Lou: Well, I'll be damned.
Bridget: Are you fucking serious?! ERIC?!?!
Tani: МАХ?!?!?!
Catherine: ADAM?!??!!
Adam: Thank you Chin. Looking forward to a nice expensive bottle of champagne to celebrate. 🍾😁
Max: Make that two bottles. 🍾🍾😂
Eric: WOOOOOO!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!! SUCK IT BITCHES!!! BEST DAY EVER!!! THANKS STEVE AND UNCLE D!!!!
Grace: LANGUAGE!!!!
Eric: Sorry Grace, cuzzo. I'm just excited.
Danno: And on that note, l'll talk to you guys later. We'll see if we can call you guys on our way to Frisco tomorrow.
Junior: What's in San Francisco?
Chin: My old team.
Steve: A while back, Chin left Hawaii to go to SF to establish a task force similar to Five-0. Once it got off the ground and running, he came back home. We promised him we'd visit anytime we were on the mainland.
Danno: And as much as I hate to bring work into our vacation, this seems like a good idea. So long as the maniac here doesn't do anything out of the ordinary again. Like running into a burning donut shop.
Steve: Omg you're not gonna let me live that down are you? 😒🙄
Danno: They. Had. It. Under. Control. Steven.
Steve: And yet they didn't hear the mom calling out for her son.
Tani: Seriously? Saving a baby from a burning building? Isn't that a little cliché?
Junior: You're a firefighter now, Steve?
Lou: You two never can get a moment's rest can you? 😂
Danno: I blame Mr. Neanderthal and his lack of self-preservation. If we're going to be married, Steven, you are going to have to learn not to do that. I refuse to be a widow at 55.
Steve: Noted. Oh! Speaking of, Chin, we ran into a couple of your buddies at the scene of that building fire.
Chin: Oh yeah? Who?
Steve: One was named Evan, but he preferred to be called Buck. The other was his friend Eddie. They said hi.
Danno: Actually Steve (a) they're engaged. The wedding is in February, and (b) they actually said they're going to be coming to Hawaii for their honeymoon/vacation (they have a special needs son), and that (c) Chin “owes them a rematch for the stunt he pulled during their last poker game.”
Chin: Oh yeah! Those knuckleheads.🤣 The other idiots who took too long to get their heads out of their asses. I'll have to reach out to them. See if I can pull a few strings to get them here.
Adam: Let me know if I can help.
Tani: LA? I thought your task force was in SF.
Chin: It was. But Kono called me when she was in LA working on her human trafficking case. Said she'd found something that may have tied to what I was working on in SF. I'll tell you all about it later.
Tani: We miss all the fun things. 😞
Kono: Oh, just wait until you hear about the case I had involving the Magic Mike Live dancers. THAT one's a doozy.
Tani: WAIT...WHAT?!?!?!
Catherine: OOOOHHH, do tell...😈
Danno: Annnnnd that's my cue to silence this thing. Eric, Bridge, thank you again for bringing shame to our family by betting on relationships. I'm sure Ma will be pleased to hear that. Grace, you're getting more like your mother everyday, and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. Hele, please for the love of God, do not take after your maniac of a father figure. The rest of you l will deal with upon my return to Hawaii. In the meantime…Aloha from the future Mr. & Mr. Williams-McGarrett. 🥰
Steve: 🥰😍💕
Tani: AWWW! SO SWEET!!
Kono: Look at those handsome boys!
Catherine: Adorable!
Noelani: This is so cute!
Lou: I'm going to get a cavity looking at you two.