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Buck didn’t tell anyone in his inner circle about his breakup with Tommy, I just didn’t seem like the right time with everything else going on.
Chim and Maddie taking in Mara, Hen and Karen trying to get Mara back, Bobby and Athena dealing with arson, and Eddie dealing with- well you get the idea.
So the only people who know about Buck’s break up are him, his ex, and Dr. Copeland.
“So, did you do your homework Evan?” She asks, noticing the way Buck flinches at the use of his government name with a raised eyebrow.
“There’s only three people that call me that now, and all of them are people I’d rather not speak to at all.” Buck crosses his arms over his chest. “But yes, I did my homework.”
“And?”
“And maybe you’re right. Maybe I do let my partners prioritize themselves in the relationships, which in turn, means I prioritize their wants and needs over my own.”
Dr. Copeland nods. “So I bought the type of milk that I like, instead of his preference.”
Dr. Copeland sighs, “Well Buck, it’s a start. But I was thinking more of going out and doing an activity that you like doing.”
Buck looks at her with a blank stare,”I like going to the grocery store, and I like cereal. Oh! I bought my favorite cereal instead of those nasty wheaties.”
“But what are some hobbies you like?”
“Oh, um.” Buck feels like his brain has stopped working because he can’t think of a single thing he likes doing that doesn’t include anyone else.
“I build legos.” He shrugs.
“With?” Dr. Copeland crosses her arms this time.
“Christopher,” Buck sinks in his chair.
“Okay, next?”
“I like…cooking.”
“For?”
Buck glares at Dr. Copeland, who is very excellent at her job, “the 118, Maddie and Jee, Eddie, Chris…”
He trails off after making eye contact with his therapist.
“Alright, there are two weeks before our next scheduled appointment. How many days are you off between now and then?”
“Eight. We’re on a 2 on 4 off schedule right now, unless I pick up an extra shift.”
“You have eight days off and you are not going to take an extra shift, no matter who asks.” Buck goes to protest but Dr. Copeland holds up her finger. “When you leave today, you are going to go out and buy a journal. Your homework for the next two weeks is to a) write down anytime you notice yourself doing something, not because you want to, but because you feel like someone else would appreciate it being done. And b) you are going to take yourself of five ‘solo’ dates.”
“Solo dates?”
“Go out and do something that you wish you could have done on a date in the past but your partners wanted to go and do something different. Walk a new hiking trail, take a pottery class, join a book club. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s something you want to do.”
“Five of them?”
“Yes Buck, five. You’ve got eight days to do them, I believe you are more than capable of loving yourself Evan, just as much as you love everyone else.”
Buck walks out of the office feeling unsettled about his therapy homework. It’s only when he’s on the way to Walmart to get a notebook when he hears a song he never really paid attention to before.
Started to cry but remembered I
I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah I can love me better than you can
He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he pulls into the parking lot and feels his face is wet.
“You’re absolutely right, Miley. I can love me better.”
One
The first thing Buck did when he got home was make a list. And yes, it was on a clipboard because that’s what he’s supposed to be doing right? Doing things that make him happy?
Buck’s list of dates he never got a chance for
- Making floral arrangements for each other
- Going to watch a movie during the day
- Wine and paint night
- Farmers/antique market
- Buying each other funny Lego sets/puzzles/coloring books and sitting at home to do them
- Cooking/baking class
- Book store challenge (would be kinda hard by myself)
- Goodwill outfit date night (again, it wouldn’t be hard but it would just be awkward by myself)
- Food truck and movie in the park night (idk about doing this one by myself after what happened to Josh)
- Dancing (line dancing, club dancing, dance lessons…I’m not picky)
- Watch a musical, maybe Hamilton or hadestown or Beetlejuice
He finishes his list just as his alarm is going off for his shift 7pm to 7pm, should be fun. Except for the fact that Gerrard is still captain and his friends' lives are falling apart.
“Is that something I should write in the notebook?” Buck wonders, and then decides just to jot it down ‘felt bad about being happy to go to work because my friends aren’t doing too well’ along with the time and date before running up to his bathroom for a quick shower.
Around midnight, while everyone else is trying to catch some sleep between calls, Buck is on a website for a local florist. It’s a website he’s used many times before and he likes it because it can generate an image of what your arrangement will look like before you commit to the order.
He's used it many times in the past, and yet, he can’t remember the last time he or anyone else had bought him flowers. That changes today, well, tonight.
Buck doesn’t put any thought into the flowers he adds to his bouquet. He picks the ones his thinks he would like the best based on his favorite color, orange, or the shape of the flower itself.
He ends up with pink chrysanthemum, because he thought they were fun to say, orange tulips because the shade was nice, white roses to balance out some of the color and lillies because why not?
He even paid for the express delivery option so that the flowers would be delivered to the station sometime tomorrow, today, before the shift was over.
Satisfied with himself, Buck runs down to the locker room to get his list, check off number one before joining the rest of the team in the bunk room.
Around 3 the next day, after coming back from a call about some dumb teens stuck in playground equipment, the flowers are sitting on the bench in the locker room.
Buck smiles as he walks over to pick them up, it may look awfully arranged like this, but he licked what he wanted and that kind of feels better than anything he’s done lately.
“Uh oh. The boo sent you flowers at work, what did he do wrong?” Hen asks, reaching into her locker for a clean uniform shirt.
“Oh uh,” Buck paused because he forgot he never mentioned the break up. “We broke up a while ago, actually.”
Chim, Ravi, and Eddie stop what they’re doing to turn to look at Buck.
“You broke up with the man you brought to my wedding and didn’t think to tell me, your own brother?” Chimney holds his head against his chest in fake hurt.
“Sorry, you’ve all just been going through a lot, didn’t think it was important to mention.” Buck shrugs and smells his flowers again.
“So if you broke up with Tommy,” Eddie says his name with a hint of something in the inflection. “Then who sent you the flowers?”
“I did,” Buck smiles. “It’s part of my therapy homework.”
Eddie nods and his face visibly relaxes.
By the end of the shift, Buck managed not to pick a fight with Gerrard, so he’ll call it a success.
“Hey, do you want to come over? I’ve got that new Aztec Empire documentary loaded on the DVR and we can order from that Thai place you like.”
“Sure, I just need to stop by the loft to get something more comfortable than jeans. I want to be able to concentrate on the tv and not how uncomfortable my jeans are.”
“I think you have some sweats in one of my drawers, but if you want to stop at home that’s okay too. Just as long as you end up on my couch.” Eddie laughs and as he walks to his truck, Buck’s heart flutters just a little bit.
Eddie had recorded something for him on his tv, he suggested they eat where Buck wanted food from.
So when Buck stops by his apartment, he changes into comfortable clothes, and grabs his therapy notebook, having a lot to write once Eddie knocks out halfway through the documentary.
Two
The next day Buck had another 24 hour shift, so he doesn’t get around to checking anything off his list, but he has plenty of things to write in his journal.
Chim asked to sit near the window in the truck and I let him. I realized that I do that a lot, giving up my favorite spot in order for someone else to have comfort. I did it a lot in high school. I liked sitting in the front of the class because it was easier for me to concentrate, but I would be the first to volunteer to move if someone was having trouble seeing. I guess that’s something I need to work on, saying no even if saying yes doesn’t necessarily hurt me.
After getting home just after 8 due to getting changed at the station, stopping to fill up the jeep, and overall LA traffic, Buck takes another look at his list.
Buck’s list of dates he never got a chance for
Making floral arrangements for each other- Going to watch a movie during the day
- Wine and paint night
- Farmers/antique market
- Buying each other funny Lego sets/puzzles/coloring books and sitting at home to do them
- Cooking/baking class
- Book store challenge (would be kinda hard by myself)
- Goodwill outfit date night (again, it wouldn’t be hard but it would just be awkward by myself)
- Food truck and movie in the park night (idk about doing this one by myself after what happened to Josh)
- Dancing (line dancing, club dancing, dance lessons…I’m not picky)
- Watch a musical, maybe Hamilton or hadestown or Beetlejuice
Buck eats a quick salad while he goes over his list and tries to see what he may want to do tomorrow. It’s a Saturday, so pretty much all of them are options, except for maybe the wine night or cooking class, those are things you have to plan ahead.
After looking up a few things on his phone, Buck decides that he’s going to do breakfast at the new bakery that just opened up down the block from his loft before heading to the farmer market to get fresh produce to use to cook himself a dinner. He is undecided about a daytime movie, and will play by ear, depending on how long he ends up staying at the market.
With a solid plan for the next day, he cleans up a little downstairs before retiring for the night, making sure to turn off all of the alarms. Just before he turns his lamp off, his phone lights up with a text.
Eddie:
Have you made plans for Sunday yet?
Buck:
Nothing Sunday, just tomorrow?
Eddie:
There’s a trivia brunch at that place on Hanover, wanna go?
Buck:
Sounds like a perfect Sunday.
Eddie:
Okay, I’ll be at yours at 10?
Buck:
👍🏽’
The next morning Buck wakes and takes a quick shower before getting dressed in light washed jeans and a pink button up shirt, one that he used to wear all the time before Tommy told him he looked ridiculous in it.
It was a gift from Christopher last Christmas and Buck actually loves wearing it because the material is soft and breathable, something he makes sure to mention when he writes about his day later.
The cafe and market are both in walking distance so all Buck opts to take with him are his keys, wallet, and reusable shopping bags.
“Hi, good morning!” The barista says as soon as Buck opens that door, a smile on her face and his.
“Good morning,” He says, looking above her at the menu.
“I’m Jessie, is this your first time here?”
“Yeah, I wanted to come to the opening but my boyfriend at the time didn’t want to so I never got around to it. So, what do you recommend?’
“Are you more of a coffee person, or a smoothie person?”
”I think I’m feeling a smoothie this morning,”
”Well then I definitely suggest the orange raspberry lime, it tastes like sherbet.”
“Okay, I’ll take one of those and some of those egg bites. They look good,” He hands her his card and give her his name before walking over to the end of the counter.
“Here ya go Buck, I hope you have a good day.” Jessie smiles handing him his order. “And hey, if you’re looking to get back out there, my brother is single. He’s a teacher.”
”Uh, thanks. But I’m taking advice from my therapist and Miley Cyrus and working on loving myself at the moment.”
“That’s valid. Well, if you change your mind, come tell me and I’ll set you two up.”
”Thanks Jessie, I’ll think about it. Have a good day!”
Buck takes his breakfast and sits at one of the tables outside, slowly sipping his smoothie and scrolling through TikTok, yes he’s a grown man but he loves watching musicals behind the scenes and those soap cutting videos.
He ends up spending about 45 minutes sitting there after spending too much time watching all the videos of a man manic cleaning his entire house at all hours of the night, despite his wife and kids being asleep.
The farmers market by himself was a great experience. Buck was able to chat to everyone without having to worry about someone being with him and getting bored.
His favorite stall was the older woman making and selling bracelets, proceeds going towards the group home for displaced queer children and young adults. Gertrude, her wife Kelly, and their cat Jinks have been running the home since the early 90s (well, Jinks since 2022 when they got him) and have helped raise over 100 queer kids.
He bought a hundred dollars worth of their custom bracelets and got to cuddle with Jinks and chat with Gertrude and Kelly while they made them. He even exchanged numbers with them because he wanted to start volunteering where he could. They made plans for him to come and teach the kids a few simple meals for when they eventually move out on their own.
Buck ended up spending a lot longer at the market than he planned, just under six hours. Luckily, his dinner plans were something quick and simple to make. He had bought the things needed to make stuffed peppers and he already had some grilled chicken leftover from dinner last night.
While the peppers were in the oven, he took a quick shower and changed into a pair of boxers.
The stuffed peppers are not his best work but they taste okay, he’s definitely made worse. (See: his failed attempt at a vegan lasagna.)
Buck quickly decides that his dishes can wait until the morning and he retires upstairs to watch a movie before falling asleep.
****
Eddie knocks a few times on Buck’s door, but judging from the loud pop music floating under the door, he doubts Buck can hear him.
Granted, he said he’d be here at 10 and it’s 8:30, but he woke up early and had a message on his phone that had him rushing over to the lo- to his best friend's house.
Sighing, he uses his key to unlock the door and has to cover his mouth to keep from laughing at the sight in front of him.
Buck, still in his boxers and socks, is wearing his hot pink dishwashing gloves, while currently using his broom to sing along to the song playing, the sink still full of dishes.
Discreetly, Eddie takes his phone out of his pocket and clicks record.
When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out to the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
The song ends and Eddie slow-claps, startling Buck.
“Uh, how long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” Eddie chuckles. “I knocked but you didn’t hear me.”
“You’re early.” Buck props the broom up against the wall where he keeps it and takes off his gloves.
Eddie’s smile grows wider. “Christopher’s coming home tomorrow.”
Three
Buck’s list of dates he never got a chance for
Making floral arrangements for each other- Going to watch a movie during the day
- Wine and paint night
Farmers/antique market- Buying each other funny Lego sets/puzzles/coloring books and sitting at home to do them
- Cooking/baking class
- Book store challenge (would be kinda hard by myself)
- Goodwill outfit date night (again, it wouldn’t be hard but it would just be awkward by myself)
- Food truck and movie in the park night (idk about doing this one by myself after what happened to Josh)
- Dancing (line dancing, club dancing, dance lessons…I’m not picky)
- Watch a musical, maybe Hamilton or hadestown or Beetlejuice
After trivia brunch with Eddie and Christopher coming home, Buck may have slightly forgotten what he was supposed to be doing.
Which is why today, he’s crossing two things off his list and hoping that Dr. Copeland doesn’t ask too many questions. He’s also going to be cheating a little bit, because he’s planning to do a wine and paint night, but he’s also invited Maddie, Hen, Karen and Josh to join him.
But that’s later, right now he’s waiting for the new Deadpool movie to start, and he’s by himself.
Buck was a little nervous at first, walking up and buying a ticket and snack for one, but the teenager behind the counter looked like they couldn’t care less whether he was alone or with a group of twenty.
“Here you go, screen three, enjoy.” All said with no emotion at all.
Which made Buck feel slightly better when he sat in his favorite seat (three rows from the back, dead middle) and he ate his popcorn. (With M&Ms added, because no it’s not weird Tommy)
The movie was great and Buck was so into it that he didn’t even notice that he was there alone.
After leaving the movie, Buck makes his way to Target to pick up wine, snacks, and painting supplies. While deciding between thin or twisted pretzels, his phone buzzes in his pocket.
Wine night
Josh: dress code? Cute or comfy??
Karen: definitely comfy
Maddie: agreed
Hen: Buck do you need us to bring anything?
Buck: at target rn getting supplies, byow and we can taste test?
Josh: perfect!
Maddie: sounds great! I can’t wait
Three hours later and Buck has all but transformed his balcony. It’s a beautiful night out so he borrowed a folding table from the station and set it up along with five chairs. He broke out his Christmas lights early and strung them up to give off light without attracting too many bugs, for which he has citronella candles to void off.
His island is covered in bowls of chips, dips, a tray of sliders (BBQ chicken and ham and cheese) and various candies. His new wine glasses are cleaned and dried, waiting on top of his new wine rack (he may have went a little overboard in Target)
He even bought a new pair of pajama pants and slippers while he was at Target, (Red checked pants with fire engine shaped slippers, of course) and paired them with an LAFD hoodie that has seen better days.
Josh was the first to show up, with two bottles of wine to add to the rack.
“Wow, Buck, I’ve gotta say…I’ve been dying to hang out with you ever since you came out at Maddie’s wedding.”
Buck chuckles and hands him the glass of wine he was pouring. “Yeah well, he could have warned me that my face was covered in soot. That wasn’t exactly the coming out I had in mind.”
“So, there’s this bar,” Josh starts in as they move outside to claim their painting spots. “I would love for you to join me, I can show you all the good queer hangout spots, all the safe ones too. Cause there's nothing worse than a shady gay bar.”
“I’d love that, but please don’t try to set me up with anyone.” Buck glances toward his phone and back quickly to Josh as it vibrates. “I’m not looking right now.”
Eddie:
Have fun tonight, I’ll be over with breakfast in the morning 😊
“Oh yeah?” Josh raised his eyebrows. “That wouldn’t be because of a certain single dad with a newly minted Freddie Mercury ‘stache?”
Buck takes a long sip of wine. “I knew it!”
“That’s not all of it, but I’m in therapy right now and I want to work on that first.” Buck explains. “But yeah, I’m not really looking for anyone else, not when they could never be my first priority.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for realizing that. And if you ever want to talk, I’m here too.”
Two hours and four bottles of wine later, and things are getting interesting.
“Uh Buck, baby, that isn’t your hoodie.”Hen notices as they walk inside for another bottle.
“Oh well, we said comfy right? Eddie’s hoodie is softer than mine for some reason.” He giggles, pulling it up to his nose to catch a whiff of Eddie’s cologne.
“Mhm sure, it has nothing to do with the giant ‘DIAZ’ across the shoulders?”
“Of course it has everything to do with that, Hen.” Loose lipped Buck smiles before walking back out on the balcony.
“Alright, time for truth or dare or sip.” Maddie announces, topping off everyone’s glasses. “Either answer the question, take the dare, or finish your drink, it’s simple.”
“Okay, me first,” Karen all but squeals. “Buck, truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Buck says, not nearly drunk enough to choose a dare yet.
“You’ve lived many lives, worked many jobs…I gotta know, were you ever a stripper?”
Buck is at a standstill, because he doesn’t want to answer with his sister sitting beside him, but also if he doesn’t answer, that in itself is an answer.
“Uh, kinda. Sometimes in Peru, when the entertainment called out, me and a couple of the other bartenders would get up on the bar.”
“Like ‘Coyote Ugly?’” Josh asked.
“Uh yeah.” Buck can feel his cheeks burning. “Please don’t tell anyone, especially Chimney. I’ll never live it down.”
A few more rounds go by before it gets to Buck again.
“Dare,” he says before instantly regretting it.
“I dare you to give us a little preview of Coyote Buck.” Hen smirks, taking a sip of her wine even though it wasn’t her turn to drink.
“Ah, I totally would, but there’s no music.” He shrugs.
The beat to ‘Pony’ starts playing through the Bluetooth speaker on the table and her groans, glaring at Josh.
“I danced on the bar, I wasn’t a stripper.” Buck stands up, slightly dizzy, before starting to move with the music.
“Oh god, my eyes.” Josh squeals, quickly turning off the music.
“I never said I was good at it.” Buck grins, sitting back down.
“I take back my invitation to the club, I can’t be seen in public with those dance moves.”
“Yeah, you should probably take Eddie instead. He’s a really good dancer.” Buck takes a sip of his drink. “And he’s a damn good firefighter. And my best friend, and hot as hell. I mean, have you seen his ass? I should have realized a long time ago that it wasn’t normal the amount of time I spend staring at it. And don’t even get me started on that mustache. But he’s also super amazing because he’s been texting me every thirty minutes to remind me to drink water so I’m not hungover in the morning.”
Buck realizes that he’s rambling, but he’s crossed over that threshold of wine drunk that makes him a yapper. And everyone else is getting a kick out of him confessing all of this, so they don’t interrupt him.
“And like, sometimes I wish men could get pregnant because I want to have all of his babies. He’s a good dad, a really good dad, even if he makes terrible choices sometimes. And I think I’m ruined for anyone else because I don’t think I can ever love someone as deeply as I love him.”
Buck chugs the rest of his wine and then lays his head on the table, when it vibrates with another text from Eddie.
“I should call him,” he finally decides.
“Okay, no.” Maddie finally jumps in and takes Buck’s phone from him. “Okay, you can read this last text and then I am taking this for good to keep you from doing anything you’ll regret in the morning.”
Eddie:
Ok, I’m heading to bed soon.
Drink another glass of water
See you in the morning ♥️
“He used a heart emoji.” Buck looks up at the group in front of him with wide eyes. “We don’t use heart emojis with each other.”
“Maybe he wants to start using heart emojis with you.” Karen suggests, wiggling her eyebrows at him.
Buck:
Nighty night
See you soon 😊 🩵
Chim arrived twenty minutes later to collect Maddie, who was more than willing to get home after listening to her brother pine over Eddie.
Josh left next, his situationship picking him to go ‘hang out’ at his place.
Karen and Hen were the last to leave, Hen mumbling something about checking the books when they got home.
Buck cleaned up the empty wine glasses and loaded his dishwasher before pouring a glass of water and walking up to his loft.
He fell asleep feeling lighter than he had in awhile, feeling proud of himself for putting his wants first for once.
****
“Okay, Chris. You can go and sit in the living room and work on your ’all about me’ paper , but be quiet.” Eddie shuffled the two of them into Buck’s loft quickly and quietly, not wanting to wake Buck up just yet.
“Are you going to tell him yet?” Chris sighs.
“Tell him what?” Eddie asks, his stomach dropping.
“You woke me up at 7am on a Saturday so that we could make Buck a hangover breakfast. You’re in love with him, dad,” Eddie forgets that he’s raising a teenager who has a love for telenovela and rom-coms. “Please put us and all of the women of Los Angeles out of their misery and just tell him already.”
“I will, just not yet Chris. Buck is working through some things in therapy right now, and he needs to finish that first.” Eddie opens the fridge and pulls out the eggs and pack of bacon that he knows he’ll find in there.
“Oh that’s what this clipboard is for? ‘Bucks list of dates he never got a chance for.’ There’s a lot of cool things on here, and he’s crossed off four of them already. You should use this to woo him.”
“We’ve been friends for six years, Christopher, I do not need to woo him.” Eddie glares at his 13 year old as he whisks the eggs.
“You don’t need to, but it’s the least he deserves. Buck’s great, but clearly he needs to be reminded of that.”
When did he get so wise?
Four
Buck’s list of dates he never got a chance for
Making floral arrangements for each otherGoing to watch a movie during the dayWine and paint nightFarmers/antique market- Buying each other funny Lego sets/puzzles/coloring books and sitting at home to do them
- Cooking/baking class
- Book store challenge (would be kinda hard by myself)
- Goodwill outfit date night (again, it wouldn’t be hard but it would just be awkward by myself)
- Food truck and movie in the park night (idk about doing this one by myself after what happened to Josh)
- Dancing (line dancing, club dancing, dance lessons…I’m not picky) (actually, maybe not)
- Watch a musical, maybe Hamilton or hadestown or Beetlejuice
Buck wasn’t sure what he wanted to do for his fourth date with himself. It wasn’t until his next shift that he decided, and it was all because of a call.
“So what happens to all of the animals now, since we have to condemn the building?” Buck asked the owner of the animal shelter that had caught fire due to some faulty wiring on the automatic cages.
“Well, some of them are going to go to other shelters with capacity.” She sighs, looking longingly at the dusted remains of her animal sanctuary.
“And the rest of them?” He asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Which is why the next morning, he decided to adopt a dog. He had wanted to get a dog for a while now, an emotional support animal suggested by Dr. Copeland after watching his pseudo-father in a coma after his heart attack, but of course he had to be allergic to dogs. But honestly, Buck’s not sure anymore if that was true or if the evil man just hated puppies.
Probably the latter.
“Firefighter Buckley, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” The same woman from the other day, Kasen, says as Buck walks through the door of the temporary shelter.
“Well, I couldn’t stop thinking about all these pups with no one to love, so I’d love to take one off your hands.”
Kasen smiles at him and they look around the kennels set up in the back of the office space that Ravi had so graciously let her use until the animals could be relocated.
Buck instantly fell in love with a two year old golden retriever named Apollo.
“He’s the bestest boy, I think he’ll make a perfect emotional support animal.”
“I think so too.”
118 co
Buck: attached:1 image
Buck: so I did something
Karen: oh isn’t that just the cutest face ever!
Buck: thanks 😏
Chim: pretty sure she was talking about the dog little brother
Eddie: i dunno, Buck’s pretty cute too
Bobby: you got the proper paperwork for him to be around the station?
Buck: course I do, and he used to be a therapy dog at the elementary school, so he’s the goodest boy
Athena: at least you picked a hypoallergenic dog. Can’t have you huggin on him and then setting off my allergies when you come over.
Chim: hold on
Hen: Edmundo!
Chim: are we just going to graze past that?
Ravi: act like it didn’t happen?
Maddie: cute dog Buck, but don’t let Jee talk you into getting her one. I am not dealing with dogs!
Buck was properly freaking out. Eddie had called him cute in their family group chat! What the actual hell was going on?
“What do you think, Apollo? Do you think it means anything?”
The dog cocks his head to the side in return. “Right, it was probably just a joke.”
Apollo covers his face with a paw and whines. “You don’t think it’s a joke?”
Apollo barks. “How would you know, you don’t even know Eddie.”
“Let just go get you some doggy stuff, I’ll worry about my Eddie crisis later.”
Five
Buck’s list of dates he never got a chance for
Making floral arrangements for each otherGoing to watch a movie during the dayWine and paint nightFarmers/antique market- Buying each other funny Lego sets/puzzles/coloring books and sitting at home to do them
- Cooking/baking class
- Book store challenge (would be kinda hard by myself)
- Goodwill outfit date night (again, it wouldn’t be hard but it would just be awkward by myself)
- Food truck and movie in the park night (idk about doing this one by myself after what happened to Josh)
- Dancing (line dancing, club dancing, dance lessons…I’m not picky) (actually, maybe not)
- Watch a musical, maybe Hamilton or hadestown or Beetlejuice
Adopt a dog (his name is Apollo and he is the goodest boy)
Buck is thankful that he had the foresight to order a Lego set before he got himself concussed on a call. He spent hours on the website going back and forth on the set he wanted before he landed on the Hogwarts castle grounds.
Now, he’s sitting at home on concussion protocol, meaning no screens, and can sit and put it together. Apollo is curled up with his head in Buck's lap because he’s sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table with the first of many bags open in front of him.
His TV is playing Hogwarts ambiance music at a low volume to not aggravate his headache, but Buck would go crazy if he had to sit in absolute silence.
He gets lost in the process of locking the blocks together and one hour turns into two and before he knows it, he’s halfway through with the castle and Eddie and Christopher are coming through his front door.
“Woah, that looks so cool already!” Christopher exclaims, sitting down on the couch behind Buck, “how long have you been sitting here?”
“Long enough for my leg to go numb,” Buck chuckles and hobbles his way up off the floor. “I’m not supposed to check my phone so I guess I lost track of time.”
“Can I change the TV?” Chris asks, already reaching for the remote.
“Of course, just don’t turn it up too loud.” Buck says, stretching before turning to walk into the kitchen.
“I won’t, dad.” Chris mutters back, causing Buck to halt in his place.
He takes a deep breath before continuing into the kitchen and sitting at his island.
“How are you feeling?” Eddie asks, sitting a glass of water and two Tylenols in front of Buck.
“Worse than the lightning, better than the firetruck. Honestly, the worst past has been trying to turn off my brain.”
“The legos help?” Eddie asked, unpacking Tupperware bowls from the oversized lunch box he had on the counter.
“Yeah, I got lost in them for a while. It was relaxing, actually.” Buck threw back the pain meds and chased them with water. “Did you cook?”
“Uh no, Bobby made meatloaf at the station, sent me home with some of us for dinner. There’s mac and cheese too. And salad.”
“Extra crackers to-“
“-crumble on top. Yep, got them right here.” Eddie smiled at Buck before turning around to grab three plates out of the cabinet.
God, I love you. Buck thinks, watching his best friend move around his kitchen like he belongs there.
“Dad, is the food almost ready?” Chris asks, walking into the kitchen with the patter of Apollo’s feet following behind him.
“Just gotta pop it in the microwave, go wash your hands and then set the silverware out.”
“I can-“ Buck started to protest but Eddie shot him a look and he shut up.
“Can I tell Georgie his dad can pick me up here?” Chris asks, walking back out of the kitchen.
“Yeah, that’s why we brought your bag.” Eddie said, carrying the three plates over to the table and sitting them down, before pulling out Buck’s usual chair.
Buck gave him a confused glance before standing up and moving to the chair. Eddie pushed him in and, perhaps it’s the concussion but Buck swears that Eddie kisses the top of his head.
“Wh-what are you and Georgie getting up to?” Buck asks, grabbing his fork.
“We’ve got a project in history to work on. Pretty much making a poster and writing a paper on one of the ‘men that made America.’ My teacher's words, not mine.”
“Who’d you pick?”
“Andrew Carnige.”
“Nice, the steel industry.” Buck said, taking a bite of the meatloaf, which was still good even after being microwaved. “If you need help, you know where to find me.”
“I think we’re pretty much done with the research part, we just need to put all the pieces and finally touches together.”
“Wait, didn’t school just start? How do you already have a project due?”
Christopher and Eddie exchange a quick glance before Chris answers. “It’s an honor history class so it’s only one semester long. We pretty much got into class material on the first day after introductions.”
Buck nodded and took another bite and they continued with their meal, Eddie telling them about his day at work, right down to the call where Chim had to climb into a sewer.
“Don’t forget to tell Georgie’s dad that Hen and Karen will be picking you up tomorrow, not us.” Eddie said, handing the teenager his bag and watching him walk towards the elevator.
“Ugh, I know.” Buck hears the disgust in Chris’ tone. “Just make sure you don’t mess up this time. I really don’t think I can take another summer in Texas.”
Buck is beyond curious at this point, and he’s not allowed any other form of entertainment, so forgive him for eavesdropping.
“You think you’re a comedian. Go, have fun. Don’t eat too much junk food. There’s $50 in your wallet if you two decide to go do anything.”
The door shuts and Eddie walks back into the loft and joins Buck on the couch.
“You’ve got three more hours before you’re cleared to watch a movie, think we can finish this castle before then?”
1
Eddie was becoming noticeably more nervous as the two of them finished the Lego set.
“Are you okay?” Buck asked after the put the finishing legos on the top and sat back to admire their work. “You just seem a little antsy”
Eddie looked down at this watch and sighed. “Okay, you are good to go on concussion protocol. Why don’t you find a movie for us to watch, I need to go out to the truck and grab something.”
“Okay?” Buck said, looking at Eddie even more confused than he was before.
Buck pulls himself up on the couch and grabs the remote, clicking through the rom-come before settling on ‘Red, White and Royal Blue,’ clicking the restart button and pausing it to wait for Eddie.
The door opens and shuts again and Eddie walks into the living room with his hands behind his back. Buck is sure that if not for the mustache, he’d be able to see a bead of sweat pooling on Eddie's upper lip, a tell that he is nervous.
“Okay, before anything else, I need to tell you something.”
Buck sits up straighter and gives Eddie his full attention.
“I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about relationships, my relationships in particular, and with a lot of de-repressing my brain and wine with Hen and Karen, I’ve come to the conclusion that my relationships with women failed because they were with women.”
Buck’s heart stutters in his chest. “So you’re-“
“I’m gay, Buck. So fucking gay.” He nervously chuckles and sits on the coffee table in front of Buck, still hiding the gift bag behind him
“And you decided to tell me while I have a concussion so it’d be even harder for me to process this information?”
“It’s been the plan since Christopher came home to tell you tonight, you just had to go and be a hero and throw a wrench in my plans.” Eddie smiles at him, and god if Buck doesn’t melt at the sight.
“Plans, plural?” Buck asks. “There’s more?”
Eddie takes a deep breath and hands Buck the bag he was holding behind him. “I have this super awesome date planned for tomorrow if you would like to join me?”
Buck stared at Eddie wide eyed, though he shouldn’t be surprised with all of the hints Eddie had been dropping the last week.
“Well it depends, is this a friend date, or a date date.”
“A date date,” Eddie says, wringing his hands together.
“Then of course I’d like to join you on this ‘super awesome’ date you have planned.” Buck takes the tissue paper out of the top of the bag and looks at Eddie.
“So this is an outfit for tomorrow. Everything should be the right size. And it’s a clue for one of the stops of tomorrow.”
“One of the stops? How much do you have planned?”
“That’s for me to know and for you to sit back and enjoy, now open it the rest of the way.”
Buck had to resist the strong yes sir threatening its way up his throat.
The outfit was simple but classy, something that Buck had incorporated into his daily wardrobe since coming out. (Hen had took him shopping one day and made sure that what he was wearing would look good on him, not just a tshirt and over shirt like he normally wore)
The shirt Eddie picked out was a soft black collared shirt with a pocket and three buttons down the chest. The entire shirt was covered in tiny red roses with stems which marched perfectly to the deep red dress pants that followed out of the bag.
“This is a nice outfit, Eds. Thank you,” Buck gently folded the outfit up and laid it on the arm of the couch. “But I still have no idea what it could be that we are doing.”
“Good, then you’ll be extra surprised tomorrow.”
“What time does this date start?” Buck asks, already mentally setting an alarm in his head to wake up early to get ready.
“Well part one starts whenever you click play on the movie.” Eddie says, moving to sit on the couch beside Buck, all but sitting in his lap.
Eddie wraps his arms around Bucks waist and lays his head on his chest, his legs tucked under him. “This okay?”
“Uh, yeah. More than okay.”
“Good! Oh, is the movie about the prince and the president's son? Ravi has been trying to get me to watch this for a while.”
Buck, while slightly overwhelmed, wraps his arms around Eddie and holds him tightly, hoping that when he wakes up in the morning that this all wasn’t just some concussion induced hallucination.
When he wakes up in the morning, Buck briefly remembers Eddie waking him up long enough to walk up to his bed and fall back to sleep. However, he does feel a lot better than he did yesterday, and his headache is gone.
He checks his phone, the first time in 48 hours and wakes to a text from Eddie.
Eddie:
Good morning sleeping beauty
I’ll be at your place at 9 for the first part of our date
We’re going to breakfast so don’t eat yet ♥️
So last night wasn’t a dream at all? He really did have a day with Eddie today?
The clock on his phone said 8:30, so Buck quickly made his way to the shower to get cleaned up and ready for whatever it was that Eddie had planned today.
There’s a knock on his front door at 8:55 and he turns out of his downstairs bathroom to open the door.
“Eddie, hey.” He breaths out, being almost knocked speechless by Eddie. “You shaved?”
“Uh yeah, it was getting old.” Eddie said, rubbing his hand over the missing place on his face where the mustache had sat for the majority of the summer.
“You look-“ Buck didn’t think there was a word in his vocabulary to describe how good Eddie looked. His hair was slicked back but also floppy in the front and navy dress shirt tucked into the gray dress pants made his brown eyes pop. (Buck’s not sure if that’s a real thing or not but that’s what he’s going with.)
“Yeah, you too.” Eddie says, handing Buck the flowers that he only just now realized that Eddie had with him. “I’m going to put these in water while you finish getting ready. Don’t you dare think about gelling your curls back.”
Eddie kisses Buck's cheek on his way to the kitchen and Buck is stunned, frozen for a moment before waking back into the bathroom to add a leave-in conditioner to the top of his hair and scrunching it so the curls will look right and behave all day.
“Are you ready to go?” Eddie asks, popping his head into the bathroom.
Buck nods and Eddie grabs his hand, pulling him out of the loft, making sure to lock the door behind them. “You okay?”
“Uh yeah,”Buck says with a sigh.”This all just feels like a fever dream and I’m terrified that I’m going to wake up and you’ll still be dating women.”
“Well luckily for you and all the women in Los Angeles, this isn’t a fever dream and I never plan on dating another woman again.” Eddie says, squeezing Buck’s hand in reassurance.
Buck nods and smiles weakly, causing Eddie to sigh.
“You know, I was going to wait until the end of the date for this, but I know you still can’t get it through that pretty little head of yours that this is real, so I’ll just have to prove it to you.”
Before Buck has a chance to ask him what he means, Eddie is gently pushing him against the door of his apartment and kissing him senseless.
Buck’s arms go around Eddie’s shoulder while Eddie’s hands grip Buck’s waist in a way that’s so possessive that it makes Buck whimper into the kiss.
Eddie pulls away and Buck whimpers, again, this time at the loss of contact. Eddie laughs and rests his forehead against Buck’s.
“Did that help?”
“Oh yeah.” Buck breathed out.
“Then come on, we’ve got an itinerary to stick to.”
Their first stop turned out to be the same cafe Buck had taken himself before.
“Hey, you’re back!” It was Kasen, the same cashier from before. “How was the sherbet smoothie?”
“Amazing actually. I’ve been meaning to come by and get another one, just haven’t had the time.”
“Babe, you’ve been here before?” Eddie asked, resting his chin on Buck’s shoulder to read the menu and look in the bakery case.
“Babe? Oh please don’t tell me this is the asshole you told me about.” She groans, not in the least bit apologetic.
“Yeah no,” Eddie chuckles. “At least, I hope I’m not the asshole you were talking about.”
“Definitely not.” Buck blushes before turning to look in the bakery case. “This is Eddie.”
“Okay, I want the smoothie I got last time and an everything bagel with egg and avocado.” Buck says before turning his head to look at Eddie.
“I think I’ll take the same bagel but I want the peanut butter smoothie.” Eddie smiles and then hands over his card to Jessie.
“So where are you two handsome fellas heading on this fine Saturday morning?” She asks while preparing their order.
“Eddie won’t tell me, but apparently it’s ’super awesome.”
“Well you’ll have to come in tomorrow and tell me all about this super awesome date.” Jessie hands them their smoothies and bagels and they make their way out to one of the picnic tables set up outside.
“Thank you for breakfast, Eddie.” Buck said, unwrapping his sandwich and taking a bite.
“So the next part, I may need you to explain something to me, so I’m not completely confused.”
Buck perked up at this, “What do you need me to tell you?”
“The story of Orpheus and Eurydice.” Eddie smiled and Buck almost dropped his bagel.
“You didn’t.” He gasped.
“I did!” Eddie smiles and unlocks his phone to show Buck the digital tickets. “So please, explain the story so I’m not lost?”
And that’s exactly what Buck does. He spent the rest of breakfast and the car ride to the theater. He went over all of the lore he knew already, and then looked up even more so that Eddie knew the entire gist of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice.
They found a great parking spot and Eddie opened Buck’s door for him, wrapping his arm around his waist after he was out of the car.
They made their way over to the line, and luckily found a place near one of the signs showcasing the playbill for the show.
“Excuse me,” Eddie says, tapping the shoulder of the girl in front of them. “Do you mind taking our picture?”
She smiled and took the phone from Eddie, “Sure, no problem.”
Eddie kept his arm wrapped around Buck's waist and brought his other hand up to rest on Buck’s chest. Instinctively, Buck reached for Eddie hand on his chest and linked their fingers together, laying his head on top of Eddie that was resting on his shoulder.
“Super adorable! Here you go!”
When they were finally let in, Buck realized just how much thought went into this date.
“Eddie, how did you manage to score the best seats in the house? These have got to be expensive.”
“I came into some extra money,” Eddie says, grabbing Buck’s hand and lacing their fingers together.
Buck looks at him with a worried look. The last time he ‘came into some extra money’ he was in a fighting ring.
“It’s not that.” Eddie reassures him. “Christopher is going to public high school now and without having to pay Carla anymore, I have a cushy amount of money in my back account now for the fun stuff, like spoiling the best man I’ve ever known.”
Buck blushes and squeezes Eddie’s hand tightly. “I should’ve known you’d be this touchy in a relationship.”
Buck motions to their hands laced together and their knees touched despite the design of the theater seats.
“Well Hen’s not wrong about us always being attached at the hip,” Eddie laughs. “I can’t think of a single shift where we haven’t at least grazed shoulders or sat beside each other in the truck.”
“Maybe that should’ve clued us in a helluva lot that maybe this was more than a platonic friendship.” Buck laughs.
“Or maybe it was the fact that all you ever seems to talk about when we were together was Eddie,” a voice says from behind them.
Eddie groans, and Buck turns his head slightly.
“Uh, Taylor, hi?”
“Why am I not the least bit surprised that this is where you two ended up?”
“Uh, at a musical?” Buck is confused.
“No, you sang the Hamilton soundtrack in your sleep,” Taylor chuckles. “I mean, that the two of you finally figured everything out and got together. So, how long has it been?”
“15 hours and 27 minutes,” Eddie huffs out, looking down at his watch. “Do you mind?”
“Down boy, I’m not here to steal your lover. I have my own,” Taylor leans back into her seat and she holds the chair down for her date.
“Oh you have got to be shitting me,” Buck is the one to mutter now.
“Uh hey, Marisol, how are you?” Eddie is the one now wishing that the seat would swallow him up whole.
“Oh shit,” Taylor all Buck screams in the middle of the slowly filling auditorium. “He’s your asshole ex that you thought was gay?”
“Twelve million people in the city and somehow it’s still too fucking small.” Buck mutters.
“I guess I wasn’t that far off, hm?” Marisol raises her eyebrow and takes her seat. “I mean, Buck comes out and suddenly you can’t perform in the bedroom, honestly, I should have seen it coming…you know, since you weren’t.”
To be fair, Eddie’s performance issues started before Buck had come out to him.
“Maybe it was just you?” Buck says before he can catch himself. And that fuckass bob. He at least stops himself before that slips out.
Eddie giggles, he fucking giggles, beside Buck before pulling their laced fingers up and kissing Buck’s.
Thankfully, the lights begin to dim, signifying the beginning of the show. It’s pretty easy to forget their exes behind them after that.
“I just can’t believe I cried.” Eddie says, holding Buck’s hand as they walk down the sidewalk to their next location.
“It’s okay to cry, Eddie. I did too.”
“I know that! But you told me the story before we went, I knew how it was going to end. And I still cried when he turned around!”
“I screamed ‘No!’ So I have no room to judge you for crying.” Buck laughs and lightly swings their arms together. “You know what’s weird?”
“Hmm.”
“This doesn’t feel like a first date, at least not any of the first dates I’ve ever been on.”
“You’re right, it doesn’t.” Eddie bumps up against Buck as he walks. “But if you really think about it, we’ve been going on dates for years.”
Buck thinks back to all of the times that they hung out over the last six years, with or without Christopher.
“Huh, yeah I guess so.” Buck stops them in the middle of the sidewalk and turns Eddie just slightly so it’s easier for him to lean down and kiss the man he actually can’t stop thinking about.
“Which is lucky for you, because I don’t usually put out until the 200th date.” Eddie jokes.
“You’re lucky I love you, you idiot.” Buck laughs and bends down to kiss him again.
“I love you too.” Eddie sighs, “So much.”