Chapter Text
It took multiple Bliss bullets to bring Eden down. She was starting to think that something was different about her reaction to the damn drug. Thankfully, before it took effect she saw her friends following her orders.
Passing out seemed almost like a blessing after that.
Waking up, not so much.
Her head was spinning as she was hauled up and led to the shallows of the Henbane. The man who was guiding her actually handled her gently, and she gave him a woozy smile. He smiled back at her. Eden only half-assed listened to John droning on from the cult’s baptismal ritual. Instead, she leaned into the Peggie holding her and shivered from the frigid water and cold night air.
Thankfully, the change of his grip was enough to warn her that she was about to be dunked into the icy water. It lasted only a second, but coming back up was not much better. The cold sank into her like the claws of a predator, and her teeth began to chatter. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. She’d never been this cold and tired in her life. Tired of putting one foot in front of the other when she just wanted to lay down and cry. So much had happened in the last two days, so much stress and pain, and she was just ready to stop.
The Peggie began to guide her toward the shore, toward John, and she felt her heart sink as the youngest Seed brother closed his book with a snap. Now he’d tell them stop, he’d say she wasn’t clean, he’d dunk her into the cold river again -
“Wait,” John said.
Eden wasn’t proud of it, but the cold and stress had become too much. It felt like every step she’d taken over the last day had brought her closer and closer to breaking, and now this man would sneer at her and -
“This one’s not -”
She didn’t mean to let out the first sob. She didn’t mean to let her knees buckle.
Sissy! her siblings chorused.
Before she could splash back under the water, strong hands wrapped around her upper arms. She looked up into John Seed’s eyes. He was looking at her not with disgust, but a strange blank look. “Are you that afraid of salvation?” he asked, his voice measured and even, curiously, gentle.
“I’m cold,” she said, her voice a quiet whine. She would have winced over the childishness of her tone, but it was the truth. She was cold and she was tired and she was alone.
He pulled her back upright, and Eden decided to not resist the temptation to lean into the warmth of his body. She barely noticed now that she was shivering, that her teeth were chattering. She just wanted warmth and safety and -
She squealed when someone scooped her up into a bridal carry. Her hands were still bound in front of her so she was able to clutch onto John’s lapel. He turned then, and marched back to one of the trucks. The engine was running, and he set her on the warm seat. She scooted further into the cab, sighing over the blessed warmth. From the front, one of the nameless Peggies handed her a blanket. She wrapped herself up in it gratefully.
John turned to Joseph, lost. He’d expected to meet a wildcat of a woman, feisty and sharp like a knife’s blade. Instead, he’d gotten a sopping wet kitten. “What do I do?” he asked softly.
When he’d been a lawyer in Atlanta John had wined and dined his fair share of women. Sophisticated druggies, high dollar escorts that were technically in attendance on someone else’s dime, or desperate souls seeking some sort of feeling like he was. The women of his social set throughout his young adulthood had been the sleek, highly polished and modified commodities of wealth - bitches and whores the lot of them.
To be frank, the Deputy was an enigma. She wasn’t built along athletic lines like Deputy Hudson, nor was she a waif like Faith. She didn’t remind him of Mary May Fairgrave or Kim Rye. She wasn’t like the gaggle of Faith’s priestesses who cackled amongst themselves about their admiration for him and his brothers.
The Deputy wasn’t a bitch or a whore.
“Do what I have told you to do for all of our brothers and sisters,” Joseph murmured.
John nodded. “Then I will begin her Confession -”
“No, John,” Joseph cut in, “she must choose freely. Without pressure of any kind.”
He frowned at his brother. “I will only lead her -”
“No.” Joseph grasped John’s shoulder tightly. “You may ask her, but you will not pressure her at all. If she says no, you will stop. Am I understood?”
“Then what would you have me do?” John hissed. “You tell me she’s meant to be with us but then you say I cannot bring her to the Path!”
“The rest of these Sinners are different,” Joseph replied tightly, his voice causing something in John’s gut to clench. “They require the pressure to do what is right. However, she requires different handling. If you cannot bring her to the Path, John, Eden’s Gates will be closed to you.”
John nodded sullenly. “I will not pressure her.”
“You’re taking her back to the Ranch are you not?” Joseph asked.
John nodded again. “Yes. I will bring her to my Gate in a few days.”
“I will go with you tonight,” Joseph said.
A flash of hurt burned through his chest. Did Joseph not trust him? Did Joseph think he wasn’t able to care properly for the Deputy?
A gentle hand came up to cup his cheek. “Be at ease, brother,” Joseph whispered. “I simply wish to get to know her better. This woman . . . I do believe she is destined to walk with us.”
Letting out a shaky breath, John nodded. He followed Joseph back to the truck that still held the Deputy. She was wrapped up tightly in a blanket, her big brown eyes watching them intently. John doubted she heard them, but he still smiled at her with all the charm he could muster. He slid into the backseat beside her, and to his surprise, Joseph entered on the other side. Usually Joseph rode in the front passenger seat if he wasn't’ driving.
The Deputy made a little squeaking sound, but didn’t actually say anything as they shut the doors. “To the Ranch,” John said, watching her eyes widen.
“No harm will come to you,” Joseph said gently, and she looked up at him with a strange glint in her eye.
“Too bad I can’t guarantee the same,” she muttered.
John found himself chuckling. No, she wasn’t as she first appeared, but there was a core of strength beneath. She’d need that to deal with Jacob. It was only a matter of time before their eldest brother met her properly, and if he found her lacking . . .
Well, Jacob would do what Jacob was good at.
The drive to the Seed Ranch was short and when they pulled up to the house Eden couldn’t help but stare at the place in awe. It was a sprawling house and even from the outside she could tell that it was bigger and the floor plan more complex than what was rendered in game. For a moment, it even got her to forget that she was sandwiched in between Joseph and John Seed.
John slid out of the truck, cold air rushing back in his wake. Eden shivered. Her clothes were still soaking wet, the jeans sticking to her legs uncomfortably. Her bra wasn’t padded, so she knew that her nipples were probably visible if not for the blanket she still used as a shield. It was soaking wet too, though.
To her surprise, John hoisted her back into his arms. With the Bliss really starting to wear off it occurred to her that he was fuckin’ strong. Not only could he pick her up easily - and she was a good one hundred eighty pounds - but he was hauling her up stairs without any sign of strain.
Because instead of walking inside, he went straight up a set of stairs on the side of the main house, and one of the other Peggies opened the door for him. Inside was a rustically decorated sitting room complete with a roaring fire and liberal use of antlers to decorate the walls. He and Joseph strode in like they owned the place but the other Peggies held back, which told Eden this was more than likely someone’s personal quarters. She couldn’t really tell from the decor alone if it were Joseph’s or John’s suite.
After her mini-breakdown at the river, she felt drained. It was only through great effort that she could ask, “Why?”
John didn’t answer, just walked into the bedroom and then the ensuite. The bathroom was spacious but not opulent - there was a large tub, but all of the furnishings were nice without being gaudy.
No solid gold urinals for this guy, Eve muttered.
We’d kill him for that, Hope echoed.
Joseph walked in with him, but stayed for only a moment. “I will fetch clothing and food.”
John set her down on the vanity and nodded to his brother. He pulled a knife from his pocket, and flicked it open with one hand. Eden couldn’t help the slight recoil at the sight. Something about that appeared to bother him, but he obligingly held the blade vertical and to the side while his other hand reached forward and picked up her bound hands. He cut through the ropes easily, pulling them away to dispose of in the trash.
“Joseph has seen that you are to be more than a simple member of the Flock,” John said softly, gently. Based on the game, Eden would have never thought him capable of such a tone. “He asked me to be gentle with you.”
“And you always do what your brother tells you to,” Eden whispered. She couldn’t deny the little flare of hurt at the thought of all of John’s attention being no more than Joseph’s whim. She wasn’t touching his first statement with a ten-foot pole.
John cocked his head at her, narrowing his eyes. “Is that not a good enough reason for you?” he asked, his tone sly.
“Didn’t say it was a bad thing,” she retorted. “Look, I’m cold, tired, and stuck in wet clothes. I don’t - I don’t know what it is you’re trying to do by bringing me here, but . . .”
She trailed off, unable to really form a coherent explanation. She wasn’t supposed to be here. She was supposed to have a little tete-a-tete with Joseph, get thrown in a van, and then have to rescue Merle Briggs.
But like saving Rae-Rae, she’d apparently managed to change the story.
“Bathe,” John finally said.
He left then, but Eden didn’t move. She couldn’t. The cold had not left her and the tiredness at the river was still there buried deep in her bones.
Buried deep like every person she’d ever loved.
Tears welled and spilled again as she thought of all the people she’d never see again. As she thought of the blood that was on her hands, of the people she was being forced to kill - because more-so than ever she knew that they were people. They had feelings and memories and loved ones and she was being forced by some higher power to kill them. And who was she to think that she could save John? The mechanics wouldn’t let her not kill Peggies, so would it let her save the Seeds?
Warm hands cupped her cheeks and brought her back to herself. Joseph stood there, his eyes soft and startlingly blue. It took Eden a moment to realize that his habitual yellow aviators were not on his face. His thumbs swiped over the apples of her cheeks, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling.
“I - I can’t,” she sobbed.
Joseph turned to John who stood in the doorway. “Help me.”
John frowned, but stepped up beside Joseph anyway. “Is this wise?” John whispered.
Joseph looked back to her. “God brought her to us for a reason, John.”
Eden was so emotionally drained that she couldn’t even muster up an resistance when Joseph reached behind her and peeled her tank top up over her head. She also refused to consider why Joseph was carefully stripping her out of her clothing with John’s help. The most that she could figure was that this wasn’t some type of power play or prelude to assault. Both men were careful not to touch her more than absolutely necessary.
Joseph turned and went to the shower. He started the water, and at his nod, John carefully picked Eden up. The shower stall was large, taking up most of one side of the room. It could easily fit two or three people. John set her down under the warm spray, and she didn’t stop a little moan of delight. Her muscles still ached from the cold, and her shoulders relaxed for the first time in - well days, probably.
She didn’t know how long she simply stood under the warm spray before gentle hands pushed her further into the cubicle. She stiffened, turning to find John blocking the spray. Her eyes swept down and then quickly back up as she realized that he was completely naked.
And she was completely naked.
She and John Seed were naked in the shower.
Together.
She quickly backed away towards the far corner of the shower, needing to get some distance between herself and him. She glanced out to find Joseph leaning against the vanity, his arms crossed over his chest. He was examining her, and a blush swept over her cheeks as his eyes roved over her bare skin.
“Easy,” John murmured, bringing her attention back to him. He turned and picked up a wash cloth and bottle of soap from the shelf nearest the shower head. Turning back to her, he approached her, his presence again blocking out the warm spray. He gingerly picked up her hand, and began to soap up her arm.
Eden licked her lips as she glanced back at Joseph. Not only was the Father of Eden’s Gate apparently okay with his younger brother bathing a random woman, he seemed to be enjoying it if the bulge in his jeans was any indication.
The touch of the washcloth on the top of her breast had her turning back to John. He looked strangely bashful, his eyes darting anywhere but at her. He hadn’t moved for a long moment, and like a lightening bolt, it hit Eden that he was subtly allowing her to make a choice. She wondered if he’d been the one who wanted to get in the shower with her in the first place, or if Joseph had made him.
Slowly, she reached up and touched his hand. His fingers flexed, but Eden didn’t take the washcloth. Instead, she guided his hand, letting him complete the task that she knew Joseph had probably set. His breath hitched a little, but he simply went back to washing her with gentle hands. He turned her around when he needed to get to her back, and then knelt at her feet. Eden didn’t stop blushing until he’d knelt down, his broad back the only thing she could see.
Well, his back covered in ink and scars.
With a frown of sympathy, she traced the word “Yes” carved into his shoulder. He stiffened a little at her touch, and she drew her hand back as if she’d been burned. “Sorry,” she murmured.
John stood back up then, his hair dripping around his face. He pushed his unruly bangs back and gave her a small smile. “It’s nothing, darling. I just wasn’t expecting you to touch me. Now, turn.”
She turned back around and felt his hands working through her hair. He set her pins on the empty shelf against the wall, and then quickly worked to undo the braid she’d secured her hair in before she’d gone to Mother of God Church. Her hair fell past her hips, and she heard John’s appreciative noise. With the same level of care he’d given to her body, he quickly washed her hair. He even put conditioner in it, bidding her silently to turn from the spray so that the product could sit.
This time, Eden didn’t shy away from examining him. Her blush was finally gone, and well . . .
If he’d wanted to hurt you, he already would have, Hope whispered.
John Seed was surprisingly fit. His stomach was sculpted with muscle and decorated with more tattoos and scars. Besides the crossed-out “sloth” on his collarbone, there was a prominent “lust” scar beneath his bellybutton. His tattoos were a hodgepodge of animals, symbols, and pictures. It was kind of like someone had taken a hidden object puzzle and transferred it to his skin. His limbs were the same way, muscled and tattooed.
Of course, she made sure to look away before she spent too long staring at his cock.
Her eyes met Joseph’s. He smiled sweetly. “John.”
Eden found herself pulled back under the spray to rinse the conditioner, and then Joseph pulled her directly into a huge, fluffy towel. “Let us allow John to finish. Are you hungry?”
She nodded.
Joseph led her back into the main sitting room, and she found a tray with three bowls of soup steaming on the small table between two chairs. Joseph bid her to sit in one, and produced a lap tray. He set her food out before her with a beatific smile. “Thank you,” she murmured.
“I’ve already blessed the food. Please eat,” he replied.
She nodded, deciding she didn’t need to be told twice. She also didn’t even try to hide how hungry she was - if he thought her piggish, so be it - but Joseph didn’t make any comments on her manners or appetite. Instead, he sat on the foot stool in front of the other chair and ate his own bowl in contemplative silence.
Joseph watched the Deputy with a pleased feeling wrapping around his heart. This had turned into a wonderful opportunity to help shepherd John as well as testing if she was actually what he thought. His brother had done well showing his gentle side, and the Deputy had been rightly wary at first but quickly seemed to accept that they were only trying to help her.
John walked out then, and Joseph rose to serve his brother. John had dressed in a plain black t-shirt and sweatpants, thought Joseph was aware that his brother tended to sleep in much less. He would be happy to discuss with John tomorrow how good he’d been at controlling his Lust. Both of them had, really, but John had been the one in the shower with the Deputy.
“Thank you,” John said quietly.
Joseph nodded and sat back down on the ottoman, looking up to find the Deputy regarding him. Her hair fell in wet ropes around her face and cascaded over the arms of the chair. Joseph had been initially surprised to see how long it was, but quickly found himself imagining her walking into his church again, this time in a pure white dress of lace and satin, her mink brown hair floating around her.
He was brought back to himself by her voice. “Why are you so determined to make me join the cult?”
Joseph sighed. “Deputy, we’re trying to save you.”
“You say that,” she replied, her voice losing the timidity it had earlier, “but you’re killing people to do so.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “It grieves me that death has become necessary -”
“Death is never necessary,” she hissed suddenly, her eyes snapping like fire.
“Then what do you think of your own actions?” Joseph asked, trying his best to keep his voice even. “Have you not shed blood in these last few days?”
She sat silent for a moment, her nostrils flaring. Then, her voice came again, icy and sharp. “Necessary implies that there is no choice or that the choice is destruction. That there are no other methods, plans of action, whatever. I made the choice to bloody my hands. I could have laid down and let you drag me off to John’s little torture chamber or Faith’s drugged out mountain or Jacob’s filthy cages! But I chose to fight back just as you chose to use violence against your neighbors.”
“God commanded me to save people!” he snapped.
“And you could have done that by purchasing bunkers instead of bullets!” she snapped back. “How many thousands of dollars did you waste on fucking rifles and planes that could have gone to stockpiling food and creating shelters to weather the coming storm? How many people did you alienate with talk of fire and brimstone when you could have welcomed them with unconditional love and sympathy instead?”
“I love my Flock!” Joseph found himself thundering.
“Then why do you threaten your own brother’s salvation when he disagrees with your commands?” she yelled, rising from her seat so fast that she sent her lap tray and empty bowl flying. “Why set standards that you can’t even live up to? Why are your sins still sitting on your chest and not up on John’s wall?”
Her words hit him like a blow.
“How dare you speak to the Father of sin?” John hissed, standing up just as abruptly as she did. However, his bowl still held steaming soup, and the hot liquid splashed on the Deputy’s bare leg.
She hissed, stepping back. John looked to Joseph, his face stricken. In his eyes, Joseph saw a horrible truth that he’d been denying for a long, long time.
John was afraid of him.
The Deputy began to laugh, the sound throaty and menacing. “And look at you,” she hissed, “You’re gonna slap me with the sin of Wrath, but that’s all you know. You’re afraid of the wrath of your brothers, afraid of the wrath of your parents, and even afraid of the wrath of God. You’re always afraid and it makes you angry. I’m not the Wrathling, you are.”
Her eyes turned back to him. They burned like the hellfire she’d spoken of with scorn. He remembered what the Voice had said to him.
The Lamb will be as a Lion. Do not be blinded by her mask.
He’d taken it to mean that she would be prey pretending to be predator, but now he knew better. Now he knew that she was -
“How do you know?” John asked, his voice quivering.
She laughed, the sound sad. “Why do you think I’m so fuckin’ angry right now? I’m terrified of both of you. I don’t know what the hell you’re thinkin’ or gettin’ ready to do! Do y’all think it’s normal to baptize someone against their will, take them to your house, strip them naked, and then shower with them?”
John looked to Joseph, his eyes screaming his helplessness. Joseph, for the first time in a long time, didn’t know what to do. What to say. In the long silence, she huffed and stepped around them. She walked into the bedroom and quietly closed the door.
After Joseph left, John quietly opened the bedroom door. He knew that he couldn’t leave the Deputy alone but a part of him wanted to stay away from her. Her words had flayed him more painfully than any blade ever could. He wanted to be angry at her, lash out, but he couldn’t forget the feel of gentle fingers on his shoulder. Of big brown eyes pleading with him to protect her.
He found her laying on his bed, her back to the door. She sat up gingerly, and John felt his stomach twist at the tears running down her face. He’d never liked women’s tears. “I guess this is your room,” she muttered.
“Yes,” he replied inanely.
He walked over to the bed and sat down on it, keeping his distance from her. She laid back down facing him, curling up on top of the covers. “Are you going to torture me now?” she asked softly.
John shook his head. “I don’t torture people.”
“You force them to confess, John. Coercion. Torture. Same difference.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but the flames of rage that usually burned so brightly beneath his heart were quiet. Something about her admitting her fear had weaseled its way into his head. “Even if Joseph hadn’t already told me not to, I wouldn’t,” he admitted.
“Okay,” she whispered.
He looked her up and down, from her still wet hair to her dainty toes. “How do you know I’m afraid of my brothers?”
“Pretty obvious,” she murmured, “Even before you freaked out about throwing soup on me, I figured Joseph was the one pulling all the strings. He keeps telling you to do what he says or no going to Eden, right?”
John swallowed, his loyalty to Joseph keeping his mouth shut. However, she wasn’t wrong.
“He made you get in the shower with me, didn’t he? I’m sorry,” she said softly, her words shaking with tears. “I know that couldn’t have been pleasant.”
He frowned at her. “It was a test, yes, but why do you assume it was unpleasant?”
She laughed derisively. “I’m well aware that I’m not most men’s ideal shower partner, John.”
He blinked. “I volunteered.”
“What?” she said asked, her eyes flying wide.
“I volunteered. Joseph was worried because you still weren’t moving, and I volunteered to enter the shower and help you,” John explained. For a moment he considered leaving it there, but decided that if he wanted her to Confess, perhaps he should do the same. To show her how freeing it could be to admit sin. “I wanted to touch you.”
The Deputy blinked. “Why?”
He shrugged. “It’s been a long time since I felt the real desire to touch another person outside of Confession and Atonement. At first I thought to use it as an opportunity to convince you to begin the Confession, but then I just . . . wanted to keep touching you.”
She reached up and her fingertips skated along his jaw, just above the hairline of his beard. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of light digits slipping across his skin.
“Did you mean it?” he asked softly, “When you said you wanted to save me?”
Her lips quirked. “Yes. I know you’re not this way because the world was kind to you.”
John laid down then, rolling so that he faced her. The Deputy regarded him for a moment before she scooted into his embrace. He held her soft body to his, sighing at the feel of her breath on his neck, her nose buried into his collar. He held her as she fell into sleep, and then marveled as he followed quickly.
He’d never trusted someone enough to fall asleep with them while stone-cold sober.
“AND I SAY AS THE LORD YOUR GOD-!”
Eden jolted awake. She was no longer lying peacefully in John Seed’s arms, no, she was surrounded by the smell of gunpowder and blood. Her body ached as she crawled out from beneath a dead body and a Peggie reached for her, his eyes wild. It took another second for her to realize where she was.
Tears slipped down her face, but in the dark, Pastor Jerome couldn’t see them as he hauled her back into Hell.