Work Text:
Azriel :
Azriel emerged from his bath, a towel tied around his waist. He had just finished some intense sword training with Cassian. He was living partly in the House of the Wind, where Nesta and his brother had decided to live. Partly, because his brother and Nesta were particularly noisy during their lovemaking. Secondly, he slept very little, especially since a certain winter solstice. And thirdly, he went on missions to avoid sleeping, to avoid Velaris, and certainly to avoid a certain person with the sweet name of Elain.
She was interfering with his thoughts. Long before this night. He sighed. He ran a hand through the ebony-black curls that fell over his forehead. Drops of water fell onto his face. Since that day, he had only met her twice in an official capacity. He'd seen her after the solstice in the library. That bloody library. he thought. And despite that revealing exchange that day, he hadn't seen her again. It had already been a month. But what she didn't know was that in the shadows of the night, under no one's gaze, he was watching over her. Even though Rhys had ordered him to keep his distance, he wanted to be sure that she was in no danger. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to her. So he looked after her, even if it meant staying in the dark. Elain had never suspected his presence. After all, he was the best spy in all of Prythia. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
He'd had the chance to find her many times since... But he hadn't had the courage. Not since the time he'd stripped naked in front of her in that bloody book aisle. He pushed the painful thought away.
She'd... Bringing it all back to her. So many things he wanted to do to her. First, he wanted to talk to her, even though he'd never dared see her again. Then he wanted to touch her. He couldn't wait to taste her. And what did she taste like? His sex pulsed against the towel. He closed his eyes. She had such a hold on him. It was sweet torture. What if he hadn't obeyed Rhys on the solstice? He shook his head at the memory. The past could not be replaced. Yet his lips had almost touched again... If his brother hadn't appeared yet...
So, since that night, he had decided to avoid him. But it wasn't easy. He wanted to apologise again. Apologise again. To apologise for disappearing again. He needed her, his body was crying out to him. Just to see her smile for a few seconds... All the self-control he'd built up over the few times he'd seen her... She had offered herself to him. She had offered herself to him twice. She had chosen him and he had chosen her. She had chosen him and he had chosen her. Azriel winced in pain. If she only knew...
Cassian knocked on his bedroom door. He recognised him just by the sound of his footsteps in the corridor. He didn't need to invite him in; the warrior entered the room, wearing his Illyrian trousers. His hair was loose and still soaked from the bath he had just taken. Drops of water trickled down his bare chest.
- The Inner Circle will be convened in a good hour and a half. he said, hooking a dagger around his thigh.
Cassian then leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. The warrior was tired. His days were punctuated by the Valkyries. And their training had finished 15 minutes ago. What did Rhysand want to tell them at this hour? Azriel raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue.
- Elain must be coming. He raised his eyebrows to punctuate his sentence.
The warrior stared at his brother, apprehensive about his reaction. Elain was a sensitive subject. He had never even broached the subject. He had kept his misadventure with her at the House of the Wind a secret. Cassian knew nothing. Azriel's gaze, filled with menace, clung to his brother's. ‘Why does Elain have to come?
- Why does Elain have to come? Azriel's voice suddenly grew darker.
His wings twitched slightly, a sign of hostility. His fists clenched. Azriel was tense. Elain took little or no part in the meetings. But when she did decide to come, she did so of her own free will. Rhysand had never imposed his presence. What did he want with her? Was someone after her? Was she in danger? His shadows moved against her body, twisting, becoming more and more threatening. Azriel's gaze became even darker than it already was. Cassian raised his hands in a gesture of appeasement.
- Hey, calm down brother, Rhysand spoke briefly about the use of his powers tonight. That's all I know. She's in no danger. Nesta's been with her all afternoon. She's fine... He tried to catch Azriel's gaze.
The shadow singer relaxed his fists. But the shadows continued to move. He was annoyed. What was the need to summon the inner circle so late at night, requiring Elain's powers? Nothing would happen to him, he promised himself. Whether Rhysand would allow it or not. He had already sent him away many times.
He had obeyed, keeping his distance. But his patience was beginning to be sorely tested.
- But that wasn't all...
- What else?
A magnificent smile appeared on the warrior's face, revealing his white teeth. He was already enjoying what he was about to say and imagining his brother's reaction. Oh yes, Cassian was gloating in anticipation. Azriel was losing patience.
- Rhys can't get her back and I have to take Nesta. You have to do it. She doesn't know yet. Take her to Feyre.
Cassian smiled wider. The full moon shone through the window, illuminating the shadow singer's face with a promise of gentle menace.
Elain :
It was a mistake.
This simple phrase kept coming back into his thoughts. Two months had passed since the winter solstice. That same solstice when she and Azriel had grown closer.
Two months since her lips touched those of a certain shadow singer. That same month when all her most unfulfilled desires would come true.
She closed her eyes as she felt the shadow singer's scarred hand on her ivory neck. A cloud of shivers seized her. A gasp passed through her full lips. Her legs threatened to let her crash to the ground as her emotions overwhelmed her. She had never felt anything like her. His touch on her skin made her sick. Sick with desire. It had never gone this far between them. She wanted him. She fucking wanted him. Elain pursed his lips at this thought. She was never indecent or familiar with her words. But here no one would hear her, and she could confess the most unmentionable secrets to herself, she told herself.
She had offered herself to him. It was her way of giving him permission to continue. She had felt Azriel come closer. But she never felt his mouth on hers. Seconds became minutes for her, then minutes became hours... And then she heard it. That sentence. The one that had woken her from her torpor.
- it was a mistake. he sighed, letting go of her neck.
Elain felt his skin inflame as if he'd just burnt it with a hot iron. Did he really just say that out loud? Azriel put some distance between himself and Elain by taking a step back. His eyes opened. Her eyes filled with shame and sorrow. Had she misinterpreted his looks of desire for her? She was mortified with shame. Elain's eyes filled with tears. She mustn't cry. She wouldn't allow it. Not in front of him. Not in front of anyone. She could mope privately in her room in silence when he was gone. She was expected to be understanding, kind and smiley. To be malleable. Problem-free. Trouble-free... We never understood her desires, her wishes. No one listened to her, no one noticed her for who she was, only for her beauty. She was invisible to everyone, so why should this time have been any different? She had made a mistake. He had always made her feel special. She felt like herself with him. The words came out of her mouth just as quickly after that crushing rejection.
- I'm sorry... she said.
She really meant it. He didn't want her. She knew that. She wasn't interesting. Everyone thought so. The way everyone was with her... shutting her out... Who was she to take what she wanted? She was just Elain. Someone invisible with trivial desires. The mother or the cauldron had put her, even imposed a companion on her path, and eternity hadn't decided to ask her opinion either.
Elain sighed at the memory. She was sitting cross-legged in her garden, her favourite spot. In front of her was a patch of flowers that had bloomed recently, pretty little violets with irises. She now lived in the town house. She wanted her own independence and a place of her own. Feyre now had her own family life. Rhysand had allocated the town house to her. The two twins also came regularly to visit her and help her with any tasks Elain wished. She had made it her home. 1 week after the solstice, she moved in. In a way, it was a second gift. Her haven of peace.
Night had fallen a little while ago, and it must already have been around 11pm. Temperatures weren't very warm at this time of year in Velaris. She was still wearing her outfit from the day, a simple powder pink dress with long sleeves and a light green sheer. The sleeves were long and thin, reaching to her shoulders. A corset, also pink, embellished the whole. Small flowers adorned the décolletage and a light ribbon the waist. She pulled up the sleeve of her shawl, which had just slipped off in the evening breeze. She shivered slightly. With one hand, she grasped it to hold it in place. Her long golden-brown hair blew in the second breeze. She picked one of the flowers and scrutinised it between her fingers. Elain had got into the habit of sitting in her garden at night and reflecting on her choices, her life, on what might or might not have been... She dropped the flower to the ground and massaged her temples with her fingers.
She made little circles to ease the headache that was coming on the tip of her nose. All these thoughts and this situation, she couldn't take it any more. It had deprived her of a good night's sleep. She could tell that Azriel had been haunting her relentlessly since that almost kiss. Because yes, there had been a second time... She didn't know what hurt her more. Running into him and ignoring him, or not hearing from him for months on end?
She had only seen him twice after that incident.
The first time was when Feyre gave birth. It was a day that had started dramatically, but thanks to Nesta, her sister and nephew were perfectly fine. She always thanked the cauldron and her mother for that.
The second time was different.
1 month before (memory of Elain):
Elain had to go to the library to borrow a book on healing flowers and a second book on fortune-tellers over the centuries. She wanted to make herself useful and why not learn how to grow plants and flowers to cure certain ailments. This could be very useful in the future. As for the second book, Elain was still having visions. No one had dared ask her if her power was still part of her. If visions were still coming to her. They did. Sometimes hasty, sometimes intense... No two were alike. They were all unique in feeling, and above all, she had no control over them. This was reflected in her brown eyes, which clouded over at any time of the day or night, and in the absence of her physical state. Time no longer existed. Elain was always the spectator of his power. It always showed her the near or distant future. She had also been able to see the past, but on relatively rare occasions. Her visions were sometimes blurred and random. On a few occasions, she could feel the touch of those present. But she found it hard to interpret or understand them. Staying grounded wasn't always easy. She was afraid of going completely mad, like at the very beginning when the cauldron...... She needed more. More control. More training. She was expected to live a peaceful life tending her gardens. ‘’ Elain the fragile girl ‘’. She wouldn't do anything with you. She could be useful. After all, she had the gift of sight. So she needed this book to start somewhere.
That day Rhysand took her to the House of the Wind. When they landed, her brother-in-law gently placed her on the ground. Not far away, Cassian was training, shirtless with a sword in his hand. He was in the middle of an exercise with some unknown valkyries. A furtive movement caught his eye. Elain turned his head. Azriel was on the other side of the training area, also undressed. He was wielding two daggers with fluidity and agility against a motionless enemy. He split the air in masterful techniques. He looked terrifying in this posture. His tattoos encircled his skin with black ink and tendrils, making him all the more terrible.
Danger emanated from him. But for Elain, he wasn't. He was still... just as beautiful, she thought. It was almost painful. She giggled. Elain heard Cassian coming towards them in short strides. Thank God he saved her from this situation. A broad smile graced his face. When he reached her level, the Illyrian warrior grabbed her waist and lifted her, his arms stretched out above him. This had become a habit between them. Cassian was always teasing her and Feyre. She loved that about him. Elain broke into a magnificent smile and laughed out loud. He twirled it around for a moment as if it weighed no more than a feather. Then he gently put it down again. Rhysand put his hands in his pockets, smiling, amused by the situation.
- Good morning to you too, Cassian. She raised her face to look at him.
God, he was so tall. Her neck almost craned to meet his gaze. She didn't know how Nesta did it.
- Elain, we missed you! You should come round more often!
Elain nodded, still smiling warmly. She took a step back to let Rhys approach the warrior. Elain dared to look to the right, to the side of Cassian's wing. At the other end of the field, Azriel was no longer training at all. It was as if he was standing still. In profile to his three friends, their daggers still in their hands, he was staring intently at her. She swallowed hard.
Why was he staring at her like that? She began to blush.
- Elain, Nesta isn't here but you can go to the library as you like. I think I'll be finished in a good hour.
Rhysand put her hand on Elain's shoulder with a gentle smile on her face. She definitely hadn't listened to anything he'd said. She reluctantly looked away and stared at her brother-in-law. She nodded and headed inside. This wasn't the first time she'd been to the library, so she knew the way. Once there, she automatically went to the shelves and began her research. The place was quiet in the early afternoon. Some of the priestesses were putting away the books they had recently borrowed. Elain walked silently down the aisle. As she searched, her mind wandered to a certain shadow singer. She wanted him near her. Even after this refusal. Even more since his arrival. She sighed, tired of the situation. She went into another aisle and actively searched for her book on remedies. This corner of the room was not the busiest. Elain smiled. Few people were interested in plants. The shelf was all hers. She spent a good ten minutes looking for the precious book. She was now at the end of the ranger when a bright flash of light caught her eye. She remained in her place behind the ranger, but tilted her head slightly to the right to see where the glow was coming from.
Four spaces away, she could see a priestess whose name she didn't know and a well-known redhead called Gwynneth talking to each other. The unknown priestess was handing books to Nesta's friend Gwyn, no doubt to tidy them up. Elain had bumped into her from time to time when she came to visit his sister. Even in her simple green dress, the beautiful redhead was still very beautiful. Gwyn gave off something more, but Elain couldn't put her finger on it. She wanted to step forward to greet her when the flicker reappeared. The glow was coming from Gwynneth. More precisely, around the priestess's neck. Elain saw a discreet gold chain with a stained glass rose reflecting the light in the room. Something discreet, but very beautiful. His heart stopped. The stained glass necklace with a rose in the middle, the necklace Azriel had given him for the solstice. A unique piece. She could recognise it between a thousand and one. It was now around the neck of Nesta's friend. Elain leaned against the shelf behind her, breathless. She put her hand over her heart. The pain came. She had given him back the necklace after he had rejected her. She couldn't bear to have a part of him with her, without having him all to herself.
So Azriel had given it to another woman. The knowledge that she wasn't special in his eyes hit her like a slap in the face. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. She put her hand over her mouth to hold back the hiccups that threatened to escape. But the pain wasn't physical. It was worse. Much worse. She had to pull herself together. There were people and family not far from here. Yet she was still breathing heavily, struggling to calm the overflow of suppressed emotion. He'd forgotten her.
It was now a certainty. She ran her hand through her loose hair and the second clasped her throat. Pull yourself together, for God's sake,’ she said to herself. She calmed her breathing, then wiped away her tears. She pleated her dress in a single mechanical movement and smiled a fake smile. The great Elain Archeron. That was much better. Nobody would know. She left the plant category section and headed straight for the opposite end of Prythian's ancestral powers. She would take the bloody book and ask Rhysand to bring her back. She had to be quick. All she wanted was to get home. The anguish would have plenty of time to overwhelm her alone, at home. Sheltered. When she found the rows, she hurriedly looked for the book in question. It was quite unique, completely golden. She couldn't miss it. After three minutes of concentration, she spotted it 6 rows up. It was clearly twice the size of Elain. She looked for a ladder or stepladder, but it was in the middle of the aisle where Gwyn was talking. She looked at the shelves and decided to climb. She'd have to do it herself and she was running out of time. She was as agile as a fae now, she thought, so she wasn't risking much. And if she fell, she would heal. Painfully, of course, but if she was careful, there was no reason for it. She wasn't made of porcelain, even if many people thought she was. So she grabbed the first shelf and put her feet up on the one below. She smiled. Was this the first time she'd done something... stupid? Yes, that was the word. But it was so much fun. She just hoped she wouldn't get caught, she'd feel so stupid.
She made the same gesture to get to the second and third rows. Three more strides and the book would be hers. As she climbed, a book with a purplish binding caught her eye. She grabbed it with her right hand to read the title correctly. The View from the Worlds’ she murmured. She could borrow it too. She smiled victoriously at her find. She straightened up, ready to go on and get the last book.
- Don't even think about going on.
Elain gasped, caught in the act. A small cry passed her lips. She dropped the book and it on the floor with a thud. She quickly harpooned herself to the shelf at the level of her collarbone with both hands to avoid falling. Her heart was racing. She could recognise his voice between a thousand and one. And she could tell he wasn't the happiest. She lowered her head to see him. He was less than a metre behind her. She realised that she had climbed halfway up the bookcase. Her hips reached the top of the shadow singer's head. Azriel was tall, around 1m95. His tawny eyes scanned her intensely, his head raised in her direction. She could see the black flames dancing in his eyes. Had he finished his training already? He had put on his Illyrian leathers. Elain realised that Azriel was mostly in the same room as her. Alone. She swallowed. Her cheeks flushed red.
-you scared me !
Azriel shrugged and picked up the book from the floor. His attention was focused on the book.
- That would never happen in my presence. And even less if you weren't climbing the walls...
He turned the book over to read the title. He frowned. He was referring to what had just happened. Elain frowned back, not understanding the meaning of the beginning of his sentence. Was he referring to a potential ‘danger’?
- I need to get the book right here! she replied, pointing at him.
Elain turned his face away from the warrior. She ignored him and raised her arm to grab the shelf just above her to continue her ascent. She was going to get that book. But she didn't have time to pull herself up. In one movement, Azriel placed his scarred hands on her waist and held her firmly in place. An electric shock went through her body. He lifted her into the air in the gentlest of ways. The gentlest of tortures, yes... she thought. She bit her lip and put her hands on the shadow singer's, still on her waist, to steady herself. He lowered her to him and placed her on the ground. A second passed, then Elain turned to face him. Azriel's scarred hands were still holding her and his had not moved. Their eyes collided.
- You don't need to put yourself in danger for a book, Elain, just ask me what you want and I'll bring it to you.
He'd just pulled the rug out from under her. That's what he'd been referring to two minutes earlier. She didn't know what to say. Everything was racing through her mind. The solstice, the rejection, then what had just happened, and then that necklace... That bloody necklace around Gwynneth's neck. She had to talk to him, she needed an explanation. The shadow singer handed her the two books. He was no longer holding her and had created a distance. He must have let go of her waist and picked them up during his introspection, she thought. Yet he never took his eyes off her. How had he managed to be so quick? No, it was she who was distracted. She reached out and hastily retrieved them. She'd had enough.
- Thank you. That was all she could say.
- Your visions, do you... do you still have them? he hesitated.
Elain clutched the books to his chest. He must have understood her visit by reading the titles. She didn't want to talk about this with him. At least not now. She had other plans and intended to confront him. It was about time.
- Why have you been avoiding me since the solstice? You've... We... We're friends, aren't we?
Azriel looked stunned. He hadn't expected to be asked a question on another subject. What could he say to that? Rhys wants me to stay away from you... Believe me, we're not friends, we'll never know... No, he couldn't. He couldn't tell her everything like that. He looked down and clenched and unclenched his knuckles.
- I... I don't know what to tell you, Elain.
It was true. He didn't know what else to say. Elain's eyes widened.
- you... You don't know what to tell me? she repeated softly, almost too low for him to hear.
She'd had enough of this cat-and-mouse game. She was angry. She bit her lip and turned her face away. She had to know. She needed to know. Something was wrong. He was completely different from the moment before. He'd put up a wall between them again. She took a breath and caught his gaze, determined.
- Why does Gwyn have the necklace you gave me at the solstice around his neck?
Azriel's eyes widened. The shock took his breath away. He'd forgotten all about that bloody necklace. He hadn't even noticed that the priestess was wearing it. Elain had just told him. He'd forgotten that he'd given it to her. He felt like an idiot. Such a fool. He met her eyes and saw all the sadness and rejection in them. He'd hurt her again. What was wrong with him? He was about to answer her when he realised as he looked at her. All the lines were coming together. Elain must have thought he was with Gwyn and that the necklace had been given to him officially... He was stupid. How could he have let Elain believe that? How could he let this happen? It was only her. This was going way too far, he kept hurting her. So he decided to be himself with his feelings towards her. He owed her the truth. Even if his brother wanted him to keep his distance, he would never allow such a lie. He had to stop lying to her, lying to himself. He was terribly afraid of losing her and her light for good in the darkest moments... The words came flooding out.
- Elain it's not what you think or what it seems.
He panicked at the thought of losing her forever. His eyes were filled with pain. He took a step forward, his hands outstretched towards her.
She instinctively stepped back, her books still clutched to her chest.
- Did she really? What could it be then? Her voice faltered. She lost all her nascent confidence.
He stepped forward again, closing the gap between them. Their chests collided. Elain's books fell to the floor, but he didn't care. She raised her head, Azriel's wild, panicked gaze already on her. The anguish emanated from him. He grabbed her forearms, which had fallen to her sides, and leaned over her, towering over her:
- I've come to get back the necklace you gave me back. I couldn't bear keeping it, it reminded me of... you. It was too painful. I wanted to practise to get it out of my system and I don't know why I ended up giving the necklace to clotho, then telling him to give it to Gwyn. I don't have any more explanation for what he knows, I don't understand it myself. She doesn't even know who it's from. I'd completely forgotten about this necklace until you reminded me just now... Gwyn is me... It's nothing, Elain.
He emphasised the end of her sentence by drawing her closer to his body. He was staring at her intensely. They were pressed against each other, Azriel's head still bent over her. If someone walked through the stacks of the library, they'd realise straight away that they weren't friends. Of course they weren't. Elain didn't know what to make of this explanation. It was the first time he had seemed so anxious about it. The shadow singer's eyes never let go of her and screamed the truth. Elain's eyes filled with silent tears.
- Don't you know why? You have no explanation...’ she sighed in a whisper.
- Elain...
A tear, then another, rolled down his cheeks. Azriel let go of her arms and grabbed her face with both hands. His beautiful face surrounded by his scars. He winced. He hated to see her cry. He could die for that. He bent over again. He gently wiped away a tear with his thumb. It was torture to be a spectator of her sadness and above all to be the inquisitor of it.
- Elain, please don't cry. If I could show you or prove it to you in any way, tell me!
He was suffocating. Her silent tears rolled slowly down her soft skin. She wasn't just crying about the necklace, it was an accumulation of things left unsaid between them. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, still holding her face.
- It was a mistake...’ she murmured in an almost inaudible tone.
He couldn't, he couldn't any more. He'd hurt her so much. That fucking sentence he regretted every day. He pursed his lips to hold back a tear that threatened to escape. The woman he loved was standing in front of him crying, because of him. Because of words and actions, each more stupid than the last. Shitty decisions he'd made under his brother's orders. He wanted her. He loved her with every fucking inch of his being. To hell with his brother, his soul mate and the cauldron. Fuck them all.
With a gentle touch, he grazed Elain's lips with his thumb. His gaze focused on the movement before returning to her.
- This will never be a mistake.
He had finally admitted it. And she understood it too. She stopped crying. A weight was lifted from Elain's heart. It wasn't a mistake. She didn't understand the whole situation, but she was sure of one thing: she believed Azriel. She believed him blindly. She felt it in her bones. He was telling the truth. She placed her hand on the warrior's cheek. He placed his on Elain's face. He closed his eyes for a moment, relieved by her touch. When he opened them again, a hard fire was dancing in his irises. She wanted to kiss him. To claim him. To have him close to her. Azriel wanted her to be his. Right now. He wanted her for himself now and forever. He placed one of his hands on hers, enveloping her. Something charged through them. Their two beings burned in unison.
Then Elain's eyes clouded over. Everything around her became a fog. Emptiness. Time stopped. Her vision began to adjust until she saw her brother-in-law and Azriel, each on one side of a table in Rhysand's office. A lively conversation was raging. She moved closer to hear their exchanges.
- You have to stay away from her! Rhysand warned.
- You, you can't ask me to do that! Azriel slammed his hands down on the table.
His vision revealed the last fragments missing from the equation.
Azriel stroked Elain's cheek to soothe her. She was still in the realm of troubles, in her vision. When her hand took Elain's hand on her cheek, the vision was triggered. He hadn't moved. Elain's hand was still on his cheek, his hand encircling him, his face raised in her direction. He hadn't moved away; on the contrary, if he could have become one with her, he would have done so already. Azriel didn't want to break this contact, this exchange. He was convinced that if he did, the vision would stop. He would protect her from any outside danger. She seemed even more vulnerable. She had only been gone for a minute. He scrutinised her intensely. His eyes were shrouded in white and emptiness. He would be there for her when she returned. He would help her with his power. He would help her understand everything she wanted.
Elain's eyes flickered softly as he came back to her, the colour white replaced by a soft brown. Her confusion was dispelled when she saw the shadow singer at her side.
She knew everything. She had had a vision of the past. Everything was now clear and limpid. Azriel had always wanted her. Now she knew. Azriel scrutinised her, patient. The contact was still there. She smiled at him shyly. Her eyes lit up. She opened her mouth to tell him about her vision, but was cut off by a distant voice.
- Elain?
Rhysand's voice echoed through the library. The next second she saw Azriel disappear into a thick fog shrouded in shadow. His hand fell back against her side. He had just interrupted them for the second time. And above all, Azriel didn't know that she knew... Rhysand mustn't know. Not at the moment. Not until she could see more clearly what was motivating him. She couldn't understand her brother-in-law's reaction. She hastily gathered up her scattered books. Rhysand appeared in the corner of the bookshelf.
- Ready to go home?
He held out his hand. Elain nodded and took her brother-in-law's hand. They disappeared.
Back to Elain in the present:
Elain had not seen Azriel since that day. She was mortified. He still didn't know about the vision. About what she had learned. She had tried to return to the House of the Wind, but he had been absent. He was running away from her again, she was sure of it. Rhysand had interrupted an almost confession of feelings between them for a second time. And Azriel was running away from her again. So she waited every day for a chance to confront him. A meeting, a party, a moment to talk to him. But nothing came of it. But Elain was patient.
What's a month in an eternal life? She smiled.
But tonight would be different. She knew it would be. She had seen it.
Rhysand would convene the inner circle in a good hour. They would all meet at Feyre's house at midnight. Her presence would be requested, her friends would need her clairvoyant powers. She had had a vision two days ago. Azriel was going to come and collect her at around 11.00 pm, when the moon would be highest in the sky. He would be there, no doubt about it. As for the rest, the vision had been cut off. So she was going to confront him this evening. This gift was finally coming in handy. She stood in the garden waiting for him. Elain smiled broadly. She stood up slowly, taking a violet flower in her delicate hands. She caressed the petals and brought her fine nose up to smell it. She smiled against it, the subtle scent enveloping all her senses. A second scent, light and woody, mingled with this one. She knew it. He was there. The scene in her vision had been exactly the same. Azriel was behind her, silent. Good timing. Her eyesight hadn't fooled her. As for the rest, well, the vision was cut off, not knowing what was going to happen. She would improvise, it couldn't be worse.
- Right on time, Shadow Singer. she said in a beaming voice.
Elain had his back to him.
He had just arrived. He gazed at her, looking so beautiful in the moonlight. It was so good to see her again. It felt like coming home. His home. He stood at a safe distance from her, his wings folded. He hadn't wanted to frighten her, and had waited a few seconds to let her know he was there. But he was surprised when he heard his nickname. Shadow singer‘’. What a sweet melody, when uttered by the trembling fawn. He had not expected this welcome from her. Nor from Elain waiting for him in his garden. He tensed.
- Did... Did you see me coming? His eyes widened in astonishment.
Her powers were improving all the time. She turned round, a smile appearing on her face, but half hidden by the flower. The moonlight shone on her long, curly brown hair. A breeze blew them away. Azriel couldn't breathe. Elain ... She was a living goddess. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Could that be? Her scent began to change. It had an immediate effect on him. It had taken him less than a second to sink.
- Perhaps it was... She dropped the flower. Are you coming to get me? She placed her hands behind her back, her smile beaming.
Azriel nodded. It was all he could do. Why hadn't he come to see her from the library? Rhysand had given him a three-week mission the day after their last meeting. He had returned a week ago, but he had avoided her all the same. He'd been afraid. Afraid of his reaction to her, afraid of hurting her again... He'd suddenly disappeared back there again, and he didn't want to hurt her again. He dreaded his brother's reaction when he realised that he had gone against his orders... He had preferred to watch her through the window, in the shadows, silently. But now he felt like a fool. He had never spoken of the moment he had shared with her in the library.
- You're early, we're due back in an hour. She took a step forward.
Azriel opened his mouth and then closed it again. She was right. Why had he come early? He knew why. He needed to see her so badly that he was hoping to spend some time with her beforehand. To confront her or have whatever moment she was able to give him. Any moment. He'd take anything.
- I wanted to see you first. I owed you an explanation for the other day.
She smiled, inviting him to continue. She took another single step forward. The moonlight illuminated her completely. She was simply a sketch. Azriel's heart raced at the sight of her. What did her neck taste like?
- When Rhysand appeared, I winced, he didn't...
- I know, I know.
Azriel was stunned. Did she know? What exactly did she know? Had Rhysand spoken to him? No, it was... Her power... Her visions... Could it be that...? He didn't know what it was all about. Had she seen?
- Did you know? he repeated.
- I saw. How Rhysand ordered you to stay away from me. Your efforts to get away from me, and your anger.
She came closer, leaving a good metre between them. Even in the night, she was radiant. She was his light. They always met. Light and darkness. He swallowed hard. His body demanded it. Now. It was sinful. He didn't care.
- Elain ...
- It came to me. When you touched my hand in the library. I saw it. I saw everything.
He nodded. She had read the past. He was stunned. He knew about visions of the future, but to see the past... It was mind-boggling. She simply was. She had read him. She knew the whole truth. He felt relieved. She had waited for him, she had seen him coming and, most importantly, she had stayed and welcomed him. She wasn't angry with him, she understood his torments. He closed his eyes and sighed with relief. Liberation. Nothing was holding him back now. He wanted her. He could make her his on this floor now. He tried to calm himself. No one was going to run his life for him, or his needs. Not for her, not for him. He smelled her scent, which had also changed since he arrived. Sweet torture. She called to him. That's when everything cracked for the shadow singer.
- Azriel...’ she sighed.
His name. His name in her pretty mouth. His fucking name in her mouth. It was the first time she'd said it. Her sex pulsed painfully against his leather. She was his. And he was going to claim it. He wasn't going to slip away. It was over now. He was hungry for her. Their bodies were magnets for each other's attention. Neither of them needed to speak to know that. Azriel opened his eyes and straddled the remaining distance. He grabbed the back of her head, tangling a few hairs in his fingers, and pressed his lips to hers in a hard kiss. Elain hiccupped in surprise, then closed his lips in time with the kiss. She grabbed the tops of his leathers and squeezed them in her hands to bring him closer. Ever closer. His shawl fell to the grass. Elain was no longer cold. She was burning with desire. Azriel licked Elain's lip with the tip of his tongue. She parted her lips and let him slip inside her. Their tongues met and she sighed with pleasure. It was so good. Azriel grabbed her waist with his remaining hand and pressed her harder against him. Claim. He had imagined this moment so much. The reality was only better. Elain bit the Illyrian's lip in return. A hoarse growl rose in his throat. She could have taken him down for less. He moved his hand up from his waist and slowly pulled down the sleeve of his robe. Elain's shoulder was revealed in the half-light. The fabric fell back over his bulging chest. Azriel pulled away from the kiss to kiss him on the neck. He bowed his head as he pleased. He let the hand that had pulled down the top of her dress slide over the curve of her breasts. He ravaged her neck with his mouth. She sighed with pleasure. No man had ever claimed her like that, or tasted or touched her the way he did. She could come if he kept it up. Azriel moved up from her neck to her jaw, then kissed her fiercely again. He let go of her hair and breasts and slid both his hands over her buttocks, then lifted her in one swift movement. She wrapped her legs around his waist. She was tiny in his powerful arms. The kiss became more urgent. It became vital. Elain ran her hands through Azriel's ebony curls. She wanted to devour him as much as he allowed himself to with her. He held her in this position, then walked out into the garden towards the wooden table beside the massive tree.
Elain had set up a table with two benches for tea with his friends and family.
Today, it would be used for something else, she thought.
He placed her on the edge of the table. It was high enough to be almost his height.
Elain's legs still encircled Azriel's waist, but more loosely so that he could move around. He was positioned between her legs. She could feel his hard sex pressing against hers. She sighed into their kiss. She needed friction. Any kind of friction. Azriel pulled down the second sleeve of her dress. The top of her breasts were revealed, but the fabric hid the rest. He was making the pleasure last. He pulled back slightly, putting an end to the kiss. He took some time to admire her. She was a sight to behold, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen, her hair matted, her breasts half revealed, her legs spread wide for him. And God, her smell... He wanted to devour her, burn her to the ground.
With his hand, he grabbed her chin and raised it in her direction.
- What do you want, Elain?
She was breathing heavily. Azriel stared at her, fire dancing in his dark eyes. She wanted him so much. With him, she was at ease, and she dared to be the object of his desires, as much as he was hers. She gave free rein to her fantasies. The words she had been thinking about him came out.
- I want you. she breathed.
He smiled at the revelation. Of course she wanted him as much as he wanted her. But despite all his desires, he didn't want to take her like that, just because she was a savage on this table. That would be for another day, he thought. Tonight, he wanted to touch her, and taste her. He had dreamt about her so much that he wanted to take his time and discover her perfectly. He wanted to cherish her with his tongue and mouth first.
- Elain, I've imagined this moment so many times that I wouldn't take you here. Not like this. I would cherish every part of your body before I entered you. He emphasised his sentence by placing his lips on her reddened neck.
His lips left a wet trail along the way. He began again.
Elain shivered. She was literally burning up. With his right hand, he slowly pulled up her dress, which stopped at her waist. Elain put one hand back to steady himself. The second was still in the Illyrian's curls, pulling on them a few times. Azriel slid his fingers along his thigh and up until they stopped at the top of his legs. He smiled against her neck.
- But I have other ways of making you feel better, Elain.
With one finger he spread her panties and caressed the inside of her pleasure. Elain let his head fall back, his touch sending waves of pleasure through him. He slowly slid his finger back and forth. He could feel Elain's excitement. She was soaking wet. Soaking for him. He moved up against her sensitive spot and began to make small circles. He bit her neck. Elain let out a scream. Azriel's body vibrated in response. He had imagined the sound. It was divine. And it was he who was giving her this pleasure. He had to restrain himself from turning her round and penetrating her from behind. He bit her again gently. He then left her neck and Elain straightened up slightly. He placed his forehead against hers, their gazes locked in a single breath. He slowly penetrated her with his finger. Elain gasped and let go of his grip on the table to grab hold of Azriel's shoulder and squeeze firmly. With the other, she squeezed his black curls. A hoarse sound came from the Illyrian's mouth. He placed his hand in the hollow of her loins and began to slowly move in and out of her. He had seen every ounce of pleasure on her beautiful face. He wouldn't let her go. Azriel felt he could come, just like that, but he held back. Their looks only made the act that much stronger. It was there, in his chest. Light and luminous. Almost imperceptible. He'd never felt that way with anyone. He'd completely forgotten where they were. He increased his speed, feeling her excitement on his hand. He inserted a second finger. This time she closed her eyes and bit her lip.
- Look at me Elain. he growled.
She opened her eyes. He was literally ravaging her with his fingers. She could feel him all over her body. It was much more than a physical act. It was everything. Something unique. It moved through her whole body. Azriel's touch felt so good. She tugged at his curls and pulled him close to kiss him. Their tongues mingled in the dance. Elain began to move his pelvis over Azriel's fingers to get a stronger, deeper penetration. More, he needed more. As he kissed her, he breathed out:
- Elain, you're driving me crazy, look at you.
He let go of her waist and reached up into her golden brown curls to grip them tightly. The kiss went even deeper. Elain let go of her shoulder and moved his hand down to Azriel's waist. She wanted to touch him. She wanted more of him. She needed his touch. Her fingertips grazed the shadow singer's sex through the leather. He grunted against her mouth. She began to caress him gently, then more and more insistently. Azriel grabbed Elain's wrist and stopped all movement.
- Elain let me f...
- I just want to touch you Azriel. Like you do with me.
She'd said it again. His name. And she wanted to touch him. He let go of Elain's wrist and guided her gently over his hard cock. He gazed at her again. This creature would never cease to surprise him. She began to move up and down, the fabric separating her hand from his member. Azriel began to move inside her again. She opened her mouth to express her pleasure. With their foreheads still pressed together, he rolled a few lengths of hair in his scarred hand and clasped them in one swift movement. He held her, totally submissive to him. Elain let out another cry of pleasure. Their gazes never wavered. Something charged was happening between them. It was intense, sensual, dominating, demanding and bestial. Their needs were driving them. Elain reached over the leathers and encircled his member in his hand. He instinctively closed his eyes and hissed. He hadn't seen her coming. She didn't stop there and moved up and down his sex. She literally wanted him dead. He opened his eyes again and something even stronger, if that were possible, ignited between them. This feeling wouldn't leave them. He increased the pace, now running his thumb over her pleasure point. She was close. Elain increased the pace too. He really wasn't far away. He tightened his grip on her hair, sticking closer to her forehead. With his free hand, Elain grabbed the back of Azriel's neck. He moved as far forward as he could and pressed his mouth to hers. He felt her contract around his fingers. Elain cried out in pleasure as he kissed her. This was it. The point of no return. He released her mouth and nuzzled her neck, kissing her one last time. She cried out her pleasure, trembling against him. Azriel finished at the same time in a muffled voice, a hoarse swear, smothered in Elain's neck. Azriel removed his fingers to place his hand flat on the table. Elain in turn let go of him, and joined her hand around the shadow singer's neck. She rested her head on the Illyrian's shoulder. They were out of breath. Everyone understood what it was all about. He had given in and they had done each other good. For Elain, it had been the most intimate thing she had ever done. She didn't regret it at all. But something mysterious had also happened. She could still see it. That little light, almost invisible, but very much there. Right there in her chest. Azriel sat up.
- How much longer do we have?
- I'd... I'd say a few more minutes.
A toothy grin appeared on his lips.
- Very well, I haven't finished with you Elain Archeron.
Azriel dropped to his knees in front of her. He lifted the underside of her dress and slipped underneath, caressing the fabric as he went. Elain straightened up to see him disappear between her legs. He grabbed her panties with one finger and pulled on the edge. She gave way under the force.
- Azriel, what are you ...
She didn't have time to finish her sentence as the spy's tongue touched her sensitive spot. Her head fell back. Was it possible to have two orgasms in a row? Elain didn't know, because she had just had her first less than a minute ago. She leaned on her elbows to support herself, panting. Azriel put his legs over her shoulders to get a better angle and devour her body and soul. He had wanted to taste her ever since she arrived. When it had come to his fingers, he had sworn to himself that he would not leave until he had tasted it, even if it meant being late. She was everything he had imagined. With one hand, he took hold of her bouncing buttock and moved it closer to the edge. With his free hand, he ran his finger over her folds. Elain was still wet. Excited under his tongue. His member was hard again. He couldn't get enough of her. His finger settled on her entrance and he slowly slid it inside her, continuing to devour her. She was drunk, drunk with desire under his expert tongue and fingers.
- Azriel !
She clutched his hair over the fabric of her dress. That name, he would want to hear it with every cry of pleasure. No other name of any male would come out of his mouth to scream out his ecstasy. He promised himself that. He felt her contract. He slowed his pace, almost stopping, wanting to make his pleasure and the moment last as long as possible.
- What do you want, Elain? he breathed against her skin.
She stiffened. Could she say it? It was Azriel after all. She had just exceeded all the limits of modesty and propriety with him. What they had done before was proof of that.
- Like... Like before... A second... Please.
Azriel smiled against her. He'd suspected it. Of course he suspected. But he wanted to hear her say it from her own lips. He licked her again, making a second finger appear at her entrance, as requested. When he entered her, she grabbed his hair, hard, very hard. Azriel let out a moan. He loved her wild side. Elain was not a fragile person. People were wrong about her. She had this wild side that set her apart from her sisters in another way. He had always seen her as she was. Elain, Elain, Elain.
Her smell, her taste, her arousal on his tongue... He stopped going easy on her. He licked her with ardour as much as he penetrated her with his two fingers with vivacity. She shifted her leg to open herself up to him with cries of pleasure as she brushed his massive wing. Azriel groaned with pleasure against her soaked sex. She had touched his garlic. God, if she did it again, he could leave again. He let go of her buttock and, with that same hand, laid it flat on his thigh so that she would spread herself further to him. She was going to come.
- Remind me again who's fucking you with that tongue, Elain?
Elain sighed, his raw words increasing her pleasure tenfold. She was going to come. She loved hearing things like that from the shadow singer. Azriel paused, waiting for an answer. He had plenty of time. She, on the other hand, had just been interrupted.
- It's you! she whispered.
- His first name. I want his first name, Elain.
He was bossy. Overbearing. Savage. He stained her with his voice, his body, his fingers. He moved them again slowly to torture her further. He smiled. This torture was his favourite. He ran his tongue lightly over her sensitive spot. Elain squirmed, impatient. She wanted more.
- Azriel, please. Harder.
- Good, Azriel. Do you want to come, Elain?
She nodded. He couldn't see her, but he could guess. He closed his eyes, satisfied.
- My sweet, sweet Elain.
He put his mouth down again and this time devoured her. He pounded her with his fingers, penetrating her deeply and quickly.
He felt her instantly contract around his fingers and tongue. She was trembling all over. She was coming for him. She called out his name several times, lost in her pleasure, grabbing and pulling at his curls. Azriel reveled in the sweet sound. A sweet melody. He ravaged her to the last cry, the last drop of her excitement.
He gently removed her legs from his shoulders and stepped out of her dress. He straightened up.
His hair was dishevelled in a wild mess, a sign of Elain's trace. He couldn't do without her. Now that he had touched her, tasted her, he wanted more. He met her eyes.
- I don't want this to end. Her gaze turned sad.
He didn't want to either. He couldn't. It could have been their secrets. They were adults, it was their business.
- Who told you it had to stop? He smirked slightly.
Elain realised the impact of his words. Could she? He wanted to. He wanted to continue with her. She came down from the table to stand and approached the Illyrian. She raised her head timidly. He understood her request. He lowered himself slowly, letting their lips meet a third time in a gentle kiss. She placed her hands on his muscular chest. He encircled them with his own. It was no longer physical. It was much more. Something connected them. Elain broke the kiss.
- It will be our secret. You and me, together.
Azriel nodded in agreement. It would be both their secrets. Their families, friends or his companion didn't need to know the nature of their relationship. In the past, that had played too much into their bond. And she hadn't wanted Lucien, not accepting the bond. They chose each other. He would continue to cherish her with his body, his being, until she no longer wanted him. And if he had to find out, he would accept all the responsibility and the consequences. He tucked a lock of hair behind her pointed ear.
- Our secret.
He brought his hands to her mouth and placed a soft kiss on them. He would come to visit her, and they would be as discreet as possible, he promised himself, for her sake.
- We can go now.
Azriel replied in the negative. No, he couldn't go. Not like this.
- Elain our scent, you're all over me and I'm all over you. We have to do something about it first, otherwise they'll figure it out.
He was right. She hadn't thought of that. Their smells. Luckily he was there to keep up appearances. They had very little time left now. She took his hand and began to lead him into the town house for a quick wash. He stopped dead in his tracks.
- Elain, we can't wash together. Your products, I'll smell the same. It'll look suspicious. I'll go to the wind house and meet you there in five minutes.
Elain replied positively. The next second he disappeared into a fog of shadows. Elain wasted no time and headed for her bathroom. She was trying to take off her dress. God, she needed help, and time was of the essence. She clutched her corset angrily, trying to undo the laces holding her back. She grunted in exasperation. The dress would not give way.
- Nuala, Cerridwen! she shouted in panic.
The twins were quick to respond. They materialised behind her. Nuala stepped forward and replaced Elain's hands, quickly untying the corset. Cerridwen ran the bath water, a smile on her lips.
- We need to mask your smells as quickly as possible. The whole inner circle has just been brought together. It's all over you. Nuala slid the dress off Elain's body.
- Do your best. Please do.
Elain stepped into the boiling water and rubbed his skin. The twins fetched her dress, shoes and a few accessories. She actively rubbed her hands, then focused on her neck, reddened by Azriel's kisses.
- Has he finally confessed his feelings? Cerridwen placed the purple dress on a chair.
- I promise, I'll explain everything tomorrow. Elain smiled at them.
They had become her best friends, her confidants. She hastily put her head under the water and rubbed the soap into her hair. She rinsed it quickly.
- I should hope so! Nuala smiled and handed Elain the towel.
She returned his mischievous smile and got out of the bath to wrap herself in the soft towel. Cerridwen beckoned her to sit down and brushed back her long hair.
- We won't have time to dry it, but I can let it down and make a little braided crown on top.
- Yes, why don't you do that? They'll think I just woke up and got ready quickly. Elain passed a second towel over his face and neck.
- Your smell, it's not on you any more. You smell Elain. Cerridwen kept smiling as she braided her damp hair.
Once her hair was done, Nuala helped Elain to dress in a simple dress. It had a high collar to hide the slight marks on her neck. No one would ask any questions as the temperature was still quite cool. The sleeves were also long. She wore no make-up. She wrung out the damp ends of her mane one last time and slipped into her shoes. She turned to the twins.
- Right, then. How do I look? She pleated the bottom of her dress.
- Elain. they said in unison.
She nodded at them and made her way down the stairs to the front door of her house. Her hand grasped her wrist and flicked it open.
Azriel was standing in the doorway. He had put on new leathers. His brown curls fell over his forehead, water dripping from them. All she could smell was his woody scent. He smiled at Elain and held out his scarred hand, inviting her to leave the town house. She took it and closed her hand over it. This simple gesture seemed so familiar and natural. They were back in the garden. Azriel gently let go of her hand and placed it on the small of her back. His second hand slipped under her knees and, in a delicate gesture, lifted her. Elain slipped his arms around the shadow singer's neck. Their faces were almost touching.
- We're not winnowing? she asked.
- I know how much you enjoy flying. She smirked.
She knew that Azriel knew her. She knew he paid attention to her. But not to the extent of noticing her details. She smiled and then wanted to move forward to seal her lips to his. He nodded slightly, amused.
- I'd never deny you a kiss, but Elain, they mustn't smell you in here.
- I'd forgotten.
He rested his forehead against hers.
- I'll be back to finish this, we haven't finished.
She pressed hers harder and closed her eyes to savour that last touch.
- Now hold on tight.
She nodded, then grabbed his neck with a stronger grip. Azriel bent his knees slightly to gain momentum, then took off, hugging Elain tightly. He didn't go to full power, leaving her to admire Velaris by night.
- It's magnificent.
These words made her heart race. Elain. His Elain was with him, in his arms. She nestled her head in the Illyrian's neck and closed her eyes, enjoying this rare moment. Azriel reveled in every touch and presence of Elain.
Then he heard her, there in his head:
- Azriel, where are you?
Rhysand's voice. He was slightly behind schedule, but nothing that would alert them. It was only a few minutes. No, only Rhysand and his rule of being far from her. He suspected she was late. Rhys was known to be perceptive. Azriel's face closed. He locked his memories with Elain and replied in his mind:
- We're coming, we're almost there.
Rhysand didn't deign to reply any further, as he sensed the presence of Elain and Azriel. The shadow singer landed in his brother's garden and gently laid Elain down on the fresh grass. Their eyes met one last time and Azriel nodded his head in silent agreement. Elain smiled furtively and turned his back to him. They took it in turns to return to Feyre and Rhysand's house. The lie was about to begin.