Work Text:
It had been almost fours weeks of rattling around the countryside, the Chrysler humming along the tarmac as Randy rolled open the window and smelled the difference between the air of the South and the cooler air of the Eastern Coast. He could smell the sea out there, salty and he imagined that if he stuck his tongue out he could catch the essence of it. When Benson would allow him, he’d stick the front half of his body out the window and let Benson hang onto the back of his pants as he performed gravity defying stunts against the whip of the wind, just so that he could feel something.
A lot of the time they ended up sleeping in the car, parked up in laybys and truck stops, just so they could use the bathrooms. But other times, they stayed in motels, scraping together cash between the two of them. Benson had an eerie knack of turning fifty dollars into a hundred and Randy could not fathom how he did it. But he made ends meet, somehow. Enough so that they could dump their shit onto the flattened carpet of sketchy motels every couple of days. Benson would usually end up face down on the mattress, he hadn’t let Randy do any of the driving yet and it was clearly getting to him.
They’d started up their affair by the end of the fifth day on the road.
That’s what Randy had to refer to it in his head as. An affair . Because they weren’t really friends, they did spend a great deal of time talking, but it felt like the beginnings of something so new and fragile that Randy would rather dig his own grave than admit that he and Benson were anything other than two guys, caught up in the eye of the storm. Not to mention the fact that Benson would curl his top lip, predatory and angry, whenever Randy pried too far. Friends didn’t treat friends like that.
It was hard to not be drawn into him when everything felt hopeless though, visions of Chris and Jess, sopping blood onto the floor as they looked less and less like themselves in Randy’s memory. More so like faceless bundles of sticky viscera that could have once been people, but in the saccharine context of Randy’s brain trying to save him from the horror of the memory, they almost were anonymous. The helplessness that came with it was what propelled him into Benson, never mind the fact that Benson had been the architect of that feeling.
The bed dipped in the motel as Benson climbed onto it, shoulders hunched and shirt hanging open. They’d started ransacking the huge bins at thrift stores, the ones that were kept inside looming industrial areas on the side of highways, stuffed to the brim with clothes that people died in, trying to find something that would fit the two of them so that they could avoid sitting in a laundromat, but Randy knew that soon enough they would have to break the seal and sit shoulder to shoulder as their underwear and socks churned gently.
“Hey.” Benson stalked closer, on his hands and knees as he engulfed the entirety of Randy with the mass of himself. He wasn’t even any taller than Randy, but he felt like he took up the whole room. His personality and temperament were so big that it seemed like he was everywhere, all at once. Sometimes Randy could smell him, even when he wasn’t in the room, lingering in the back of his sinuses so that when he huffed a breath inwards, he could almost taste him.
“Hi.” Randy smiled, sleepy. Full of fries and milkshakes, Benson’s treat. It had almost been a date, but not quite, not with the way that Benson had been nervous the entire time that someone would recognise them. Randy had stopped caring after the second week if he was honest, if they were finally picked up by the cops at least he would have had the most freeing four weeks of his life.
At least he would have put his mouth on the man who would be stuck deep into him, lodged like a splinter, for the rest of his life.
Benson’s mouth ran along Randy’s collarbone, soft and unassuming, nothing like he really was underneath the flimsy mask he’d managed to staple onto himself for the last year that Randy had worked with him. The ever so slight brush of skin made goosebumps raise along Randy’s arms and he raised them to gaze at them, amazed that someone else could ever make him feel like that. He’d thought about anything but what was happening when he’d kissed Lisa, wanting to cry and tear his hands through his hair, trying to figure out why he couldn’t just be normal and enjoy something that he’d been dreaming his whole teenage life of doing.
“God.” Benson muttered, trailing his mouth up until he could kiss at the corner of Randy’s mouth, “You’re so hot.”
Randy laughed, quiet and shy, “I’m not doing anything. Just lying here.”
Benson groaned, biting his bottom lip and closing his eyes, half a joke but half a real thing that Randy had seen him do multiple times. Mostly when he was coming. Randy had started using that word a lot more, ever since Benson had blinked at him and told him that it wasn’t exactly sexy to hear him talk about ‘ejaculating’ and Randy had been so embarrassed that the next two hours in the car had been almost silent.
“Yeah, even you just lying there is making me fucking hard.” Benson pressed what felt like hundreds of kisses to Randy’s jawline as he spoke, making Randy squirm and sigh, stroking a hand down Benson’s back. He could feel all the individual knobs of his spine, something he hadn’t been able to do when they first started driving. Benson had been eating less, saving the money that he might spend on himself so that Randy could have the amount of food that Benson deemed correct for a boy his size.
Randy had actually put on a couple pounds. Not enough to make much of a difference but he could see the rounding softness of some parts of his body when Benson stripped him down, soothing his tongue over his stomach and kissing it like it was the sexiest thing on the planet.
It never took long to get each of their respective clothes off and they always ended up flung into far corners of the motels, or onto the front seat of the car when they decided to fuck up Benson’s knees by having sex in the back seat. Steaming up the interior as Randy learnt that spending his middle school years running four hundred metre laps meant that he had just the right leg strength to ride Benson until he was whining and bucking up into him. He liked that the most, when Benson’s eyebrows would draw up, like he was worried, and he’d make noises as though he were an animal caught in a snare. When that happened, Randy would push himself down harder, hands gripped tight on Benson’s shoulders until he could see tears bubble and fold down the hills of Benson’s cheeks.
They didn’t talk about it afterwards, but Randy was sure that while they still weren’t friends, he loved Benson. More than anything in the world, he loved him. Why else would he let someone, who hurt people so deftly and well, drag him in and keep him there.
“Beautiful.” Benson's bare chest on his own always felt good when he squeezed them together, flat and warm. Just like his legs against Randy’s felt right and it had been a revelation that Randy liked body hair, liked to put his face into Benson’s armpit and smell him like he was starving for it. He didn’t always smell nice, but he did always smell good .
“I don’t know.” Randy gasped out the end of the sentence, Benson’s mouth fixing to his neck as he sucked on him like he might die if he didn’t.
“No,” Benson’s teeth were sharp and Randy liked that, “You’re my beautiful boy, huh? Say it back to me. Let me hear you say it.”
“Benson—”
“Ah.” Benson reared back, jangling Randy around until the backs of his thighs were on the tops of Benson’s and Randy covered his face with his hands as Benson sucked two of his fingers into his mouth. He knew where this was going, so it wasn’t much of a shock when Benson’s middle finger started to drag up and down his hole as he shook his head and continued, “You’re fucking crazy if you don’t think you’re hot. I’m genuinely surprised you only had Lisa after you. Tall, beautiful, freckled. Fucking huge cock.”
Randy laughed at that, hands still over his face as he gyrated his hips a little, trying to get Benson to walk over to the travel bag and retrieve the lube so that mild pressure on him could turn into the crook of a finger. Hopefully two rather quickly after that. He liked it when Benson went fast, pushed two fingers into him before he’d even really acknowledged the first. He had long, dextrous fingers that made Randy’s eyes roll back into his head and although it had been pretty bad the first time, Randy had panicked and kicked Benson in the inner thigh, dangerously close to his balls, he’d started to think about being fingered at random times of the day. In the car. In diners. In the shower.
“I’m okay.” Randy acquiesced, not enough to make Benson happy, but enough that he didn’t feel stupid, “If you think that I’m hot then—” He shrugged “—Thanks.”
“You’re fucking infuriating, you know that?” Benson’s fingers pinched around Randy’s nipple and he yelped like an idiot and shot off the bed, slapping a hand over his chest as Benson squawked a laugh and then, after slipping a finger in to the first knuckle teasingly, hopped off the bed to fetch the lube and tear off a condom.
Randy’s eyes spied the latter and before he could stop himself he was being a complete moron and saying, “Uh. Do we have to use the—uh—”
“What?” Benson blinked, “The lube? Yeah, man. Obviously. I know you like it a little rough but I don’t really want my dick getting suffocated in you—”
“No, Benson,” Randy sat up onto his elbows, “The condom. I mean—I’ve never done it with anyone before you. So, maybe we don’t need one.”
Benson frowned. Then pulled an unreadable expression. Then his dick, hard between his legs, twitched about a centimetre to the left.
“I suppose so.” Benson’s throat sounded dry, “You sure that’s okay?”
“Yeah,” Randy flapped a hand, a come hither motion that had Benson almost floating back towards the bed, “I want to know what it feels like.”
“Probably not much.” Benson cupped Randy’s face, his thumb traversing the line of his cheekbone, “Depends.”
“On what?” Randy wanted a kiss and before he could even finish the thought of the want, Benson had angled his face up and slid their mouths together. Prying open Randy’s mouth so he could suck on his tongue, the one thing that Randy actually enjoyed when it came to open-mouthed kissing, otherwise he found it a bit too wet and overwhelming, preferring closed mouth kisses. Only on occasion, when Benson was fucking him so hard that Randy didn’t know where or who he was, would he like the sloppy wet slide of their mouths. Only really then did he enjoy panting into Benson’s mouth and sometimes, if he was really good, Benson would fix his jaw open with his fingers on the hinge, then spit into Randy’s waiting, open mouth.
“On how much cum I got in my balls, man.” Benson grinned.
“Gross.” Randy’s nose wrinkled but he smiled all the same.
“Turn over.” Benson nudged Randy with his hand, “Come on, all the way.”
Benson had eaten him out for the first time about three days prior and he’d been glancing at Randy’s behind, when he thought he wasn’t looking, ever since. There had only been a few times on the road since Kutzburg that Randy had seen Benson really blush, not the flush that flooded you when you were fresh from fucking, but a shy, embarrassed, guilty blush. But when Benson was daydreaming about shoving his tongue into Randy’s hole, that’s when his cheeks were pink.
By the time that Benson’s tongue had slicked over him, Randy was vibrating, face in the sheets and hands clenched at the side of his head. Snuffling a laugh into the mattress when Benson cupped the side of his asscheeks and he could feel the poke of his nose against him as he pushed Randy’s cheeks into the sides of his face, groaning quietly and the mattress squeaked as Benson rubbed his cock against it. Grinding himself down as he flicked his tongue over Randy, again and again, maybe even enjoying it more than Randy did.
It was an odd feeling to be jealous when Benson had proclaimed that, while he didn’t ‘give a shit’ about women, he loved eating pussy. Randy couldn’t quite understand it, he always assumed that if you were gay then you didn’t want anything to do with the genitals of the opposite sex. But the way that Benson sucked in a breath when he spoke about it, hands gripped tight on the wheel as he recounted the (not particularly impressive) amount of times he’d fucked other people, he clearly loved it. Liked the way it tasted, the way it smelled, like when his eyelashes would get wet from how far his face was pushed into it.
It made sense that he would enjoy eating Randy out to the same level, almost ravenous as he pushed down on him, chin soaking wet and Randy could feel the spit dribbling down his taint and balls, pooling on the bed below them. He wondered blithely if that was how it felt to be wet, something he was fascinated by, even if he wasn’t turned on by it. The innate ability and way that some people’s bodies reacted to what made them aroused.
Randy wasn’t sure what got into him, perhaps his mind was just too focused on the memory of the last time, saliva dripping, but he rocked back against Benson’s face and murmured, “Feel so wet.”
Having someone cough against your asshole was an unusual sensation and Benson recovered quickly enough that Randy didn’t feel the need to mention it, but then he was moaning and Randy could hear the sound of his hand on his cock, down the other end of the bed. Benson had jerked himself off the last time that he’d eaten him out too. He’d actually come, right there, his mouth on Randy’s fluttering hole.
“Do you—do you like that?”
“Mhm.” Benson hummed into his skin.
“Oh,” Randy opened his thighs a little further, “Benson, do you mind that I’m a boy?”
Benson’s face whipped away so fast that if Randy had turned around to watch it happen, he might have been just a blur, and he baulked, “What the fuck, Randy? I don’t mind it, I like it.” Despite his outrage he found the time to squeeze one of Randy’s asscheeks, skinny, but getting fatter every time that Benson ordered him eggs with his pancakes, “I fucking love it. Love every part of you.”
Randy could just about warp the words in his head so that they said, I love you , but it was quickly washed away as Benson dove back in, curling his tongue at the rim of Randy’s hole and making him shudder into the bed.
“Okay.” Randy murmured and Benson bit one of his asscheeks in response, making Randy yelp and kick his leg out behind him.
When Benson finally, finally finally, had three fingers in Randy, the sound was bordering on disgusting but he snuck a hand down to press against his cock, caught between his body and the bedding, anyway. The sloppy wet sound of Benson’s fingers pushing in and out of him was rhythmic and intense, Randy pushing back into it as hard as he could, wondering when the switch inside of him flipped so that he didn’t find his own body nauseating. Instead, he felt like exploring every part of it, letting Benson make it come alight with pleasure.
“Say you want it,” Benson murmured, somewhere distant behind Randy, his head too full of helium to hear it clearly, “Say that you want me.”
The second murmur was even quieter, fragile. Self conscious.
“Benson,” Randy ground his teeth together, the fingers inside of him curling until Benson could rub them over something that Randy was becoming very well acquainted with, “Please. Please.”
“Please what?” Benson sounded out of breath.
“Put—put it in. Please.” Randy usually hated being made to talk when they had sex, always feeling too shy to open his mouth and let it all flood out, but something in the way that Benson too sounded winded by the interaction, he allowed himself it just for once, “Fuck me. I want to feel you. Want you to come in me.”
“Jesus.” Benson slid his fingers out, wiping them off on the bedding which Randy pointedly ignored, then groaned, “You’re insane. God. I used to look at you at work and I never thought— Fuck . Don’t ever leave me, okay? I don’t think I could live without you.”
Usually, Randy would take the way that Benson spoke to him when they had sex as a spur of the moment thing, something that was fuelled by arousal and the need to spend himself in, on, or around the other man. But this time it felt sincere, brimming with an honesty that was often almost impossible to dredge out of Benson’s tight knit soul.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Randy’s forehead met the bed as he felt the jolt of pressure as Benson pushed the head of his cock against him, not popping the head in just yet, but dragging himself over him. It drove Randy mad, the illicit tease that Benson loved to stir up, rubbing himself over his hole until Randy was forced to beg.
“Fuck, man.” Benson’s thumb spread Randy’s cheek apart a little further and Randy almost jumped out of his skin when Benson spat onto him, pushing his cock through it, making Randy’s thighs quiver as Benson said, low and hot, “You’re getting a little chubby.”
“Benson,” Randy laughed, a little shocked, “Not really.”
“It’s fucking hot. It’s all going to your thighs, makes them jiggle when we fuck. Makes me dick hard when I think about it when we’re in the car and I look over and you’ve got shorts on.” He moaned, “You drive me crazy. I feel crazy.”
Randy felt like saying, I think you might be a bit crazy , but didn’t.
“Benson?”
“Yes, baby.” Randy loved it when he used the nickname.
“Are you going to fuck me or keep talking?”
“Holy shit,” Benson cackled, “You’re a little shit.” Then pushed his cock in as far as it would go.
It had taken a while for Randy to become comfortable with the shapes that Benson wanted to pull him into when they had sex, his knees had ached the first three times that they had done it with him on his back. Then the small of his back had hurt when they’d done it on his front. But now it felt natural to curve himself up into the rock of Benson’s hips, back arching like he had been trained to it for years, his thighs open. Until Benson pushed them back together, trapping his cock in the tight vice it created and Randy always felt like he was going to die when they did it like that. Benson called it ‘the speed bump’ but Randy called it ‘coming without touching his dick’.
“You feel so fucking good.” Benson’s mouth lowered to Randy’s ear, hips moving in short, stilted thrusts that made Randy’s stomach twist, “Insane that no one fucked you before me. Fucking insane that I get to be the first person to open you up, lick into you, make you come.” He rubbed his face against the side of Randy’s head, jostling his hair, “You’re so good. My good boy.”
Randy whimpered before he could stop himself, riding back against Benson’s thrusts, simultaneously hot and cold inside, “Yeah. Yes.”
The backs of Randy’s thighs were damp with sweat and he could smell Benson sweating through his shower, almost sliding along his back as he fucked into him, leading away from those short thrusts into grasping anywhere he could for purchase, using it to smack his hips into the meat of Randy’s ass. Fucking him hard and fast, just the way that made Randy’s stomach turn into a hot puddle inside of him and he drove his cock into the bed, panting.
“Turn over.” Benson gasped, almost sounding like he was on the edge of release and if he was, then it would be the fastest that he had ever come when they were together. Something that Randy was unsure of whether he was flattered at, or mildly annoyed that he would put an end to some of the best sex they’d had so far. But, nevertheless, he did as he was told. He always did as he was told. Rolling onto his back when Benson pulled his dick out, shuffling so that his back was comfortable and he watched the iris of Benson’s eyes disappear as his pupil’s burst in the centre of his eyes, expanding infinitely as he watched Randy pull his legs up and expose himself.
Benson’s hand gripped the base of his cock, tight, “Don’t do that. I’ll come.”
“Just getting comfortable.” Randy shrugged.
“Well, don’t. Dipshit. I want to come in you, not on you.”
“We can do that second one.” Randy flexed his fingers as Benson pushed his thighs back even further, rocking him almost onto his tailbone as he pushed back into him, making them both sigh.
“Another time. Next time.” Benson's pelvis settled against Randy’s ass and his mouth slid against his, far too soft for what they were doing and Randy’s heart lurched, “This time, I’m going to come in you. Fucking hold it in there.” He shook Randy’s thigh, pushing into him so hard that Randy saw stars, “Knock you up.”
It was clearly said as a joke because Benson giggled after saying it, like it was ridiculous, but then the smile drifted away as he watched Randy close his eyes as his cock throbbed between his legs and his insides pulsed around him.
“That’s—Um—” Benson was lost for words.
Randy had never heard him so quiet.
“Sorry.” Randy felt the flush reach the tops of his shoulders, ashamed that he liked that as much as he did, “I don’t know why I liked that.”
“Don’t apologise.” Benson wheezed, face pale, “I—fuck—I think I like that too.”
Randy felt his body relax, the muscles in his neck untensing as he slid his hands around Benson’s middle and gently eased him back into sliding in and out of him, urging him deep into him, as far as he would go. Wanting to feel it right in his guts when Benson plunged into him.
“Come on.” Randy grinned, “Distracted.”
“That’s why you’re getting a little fat, huh? Ready for me to get you pregnant.”
Randy laughed again, it felt absurd to hear, but that didn’t stop him from pulling Benson so tight against him that it felt like they were one, horrible thing. Wet and hot, undulating against itself. It was mystifying, to know that the someone who made you feel whole and like you’d been stripped of them in the makeup of the cosmos was a complete and utter asshole like Benson, but Randy could live with that if he kept kissing his neck and muttering pet names against the prickle of his skin.
“Baby.” Benson groaned, hips getting sloppy with their movement, “Angel. Sweet thing.” He grabbed a fist of Randy’s hair and pulled, “You like that, me being nice, don’t you?”
“Mm.” Randy’s mouth felt gummy and he just about managed to push his hand between them to jerk himself off, so close to coming that felt woozy.
“Want me to take care of you? Treat you right?” Benson’s torso rose and he skirted around Randy’s hand stripping his cock, settling on his belly below, “So hot. Going to keep buying you pancakes à la mode for breakfast if it means you’re so fucking soft like this forever.”
Forever. There was a weird concept when it came to the two of them.
Maybe if Randy truly did have the capacity to house life then Benson would stay around forever, trapped by some strange amalgam of life they’d create.
He quite liked that idea, even if it made him feel guilty and wrong.
“I’d be even softer if you fucked me pregnant.” By the time that he had said it, he immediately regretted it.
Until the moment that Benson whimpered, let his chin fall to his chest, and came with such force and surprise that even Benson seemed to be unsure of what had just happened. His mouth hanging open as his hips stuttered and Benson was right, it didn’t feel like anything much to have him come into him, but the almost throb of Benson’s cock was small, but there. Making Randy wrap his legs around him and wrench him forward so they were smushed back together, keeping him inside of him as he babbled, “Fuck. Benson. Fuck.”
When light finally returned to Benson’s eyes he flicked away Randy’s hand, stroking him tight and fast, just like he liked it, mouth at his ear as he rumbled, “You like that so bad, don’t you. You want to shoot all over yourself when you’ve got my cum in you, filling you up. You think if I hold it in here long enough it’ll take? My fucking beautiful boy.”
Randy’s back bent in a way that he was unaware it could do as he whined, breathy and pathetic, then came so far up his chest that pearls of it settled across his chest, droplets of cum that Benson craned up to suck off of him almost immediately. Sucking on Randy’s nipples until he was heaving deep breaths, on the verge of crying. It would have been easy, to let it all out, shudder through a bout of tears but he held it together, overwhelmed and on the come down as Benson made a sad noise and pulled out of him. He wanted him back in, making good on his ridiculous and almost silly promise to breed him.
But then the feeling was gone, replaced by Benson crawling up to close his arms around Randy and kiss his face all over, lips messy as he peppered the kisses everywhere he could until Randy didn’t want to cry anymore, he wanted to smile. Wanted to beam so hard at Benson that his cheeks hurt afterwards.
“Fuck,” Benson groaned, “Oh my God. That was insane. My spine came out my cock.”
“Eurgh.” Randy settled onto the pillow beneath him, heart hammering beneath his chest, “Don’t say that.”
“I did not know that would make me so horny. That’s crazy, right? I fucking hate kids!” He squeezed Randy hard and their eyes met for a single moment, before they both began giggling. Giggles that turned into breathless laughter and Benson was warm and solid, smelling like skin and Randy kissed him hard. Needing him to feel the way that he felt right there.
“That wasn’t too weird was it?” Benson scratched at the side of his pelvis, “I’ve never talked like that before when I’ve been fucking. Feels kind of stupid now.”
“I liked it.” Randy smiled, “Even if it is kind of funny.”
“I used to have nightmares of knocking some poor girl up when I was about seventeen. I was so scared of being a dad, I didn’t want anyone else in the world that was like me.” Benson’s fingers lazed over his belly, “Don’t know why it suddenly feels good to say it to you. Weird.”
“I don’t want kids either.” Randy thumbed Benson’s nipple and felt him almost purr, “I guess when you have sex with someone, it just sometimes all comes out and things you don’t know are good, seem good.”
“Uhuh.” Benson was clearly searching his eyes around the room for his cigarettes, “Look at you, suddenly an expert on fucking and kink exploration.”
“Okay, don’t be mean—”
“I get it. Like how you love being spanked but cried when I tried to slap you in the face. S’all different, I guess. Crazy that it worked for both of us though.” He grinned, moustached twitching up, “You must really like me, if you want to baby-trap me.”
“Is that what it’s called?”
“Yeah.” Benson’s hand descended to stroke over Randy’s belly, “Man, I wish I was your age, I’m getting kind of hot thinking about it again. I’m going to have a smoke and then maybe a cup of coffee, then I kind of want to fuck you again. See how many times I can come in you. Push your asscheeks to the side and look at it all trickle out of you.” He was pink again, bordering on bright red, “You could be a medical marvel, a guy without a uterus who can get knocked up.”
Randy hummed, “That’d be pretty impressive.” He smiled, pushing his hand over the top of Benson’s, “I mean, I suppose we’ll just have to try.”
Benson groaned, looking blissful and Randy rolled around the idea of forever in his head as he let Benson pet his stomach, like any of this meant anything.