Work Text:
The soft rustle of sand, the cool but not piercing night breeze, and the calm, bright sky scattered with the lights of stars. Three things that were always your favorites in days of yore, that once vanished from your life over the past six years.
Being a matra kept you from here and left you with no choice but to stay in Sumeru City. Only in this past month have you regained these dearest things, after finally shedding the matra position off your life and returning to your homeland, the Aaru Village.
Behind The Wall might be a green, lush land of splendor filled with your cherished companions, but you never felt that place was where you truly belonged. In the end, you know Aaru Village is the very place that will always be your heart’s true sanctuary. Your strength had been forged in the fires of rigorous combat training and myriad precious encounters as a matra and the time had come for you to use these honed skills to protect your homeland, alongside Candance.
You had been staying in your current spot for who knows how long. The very spot you once adored, alongside the three beloved atmospheres you found most comfort in. Nestled just a few meters from The Wall and near the village’s entrance, you lay on the sand.
Eyes wandering up the sky and hands on your stomach. Your minds weren’t with you.
The leftover matra instinct deep down yelled at you for letting your guard down like this. You were once a very vigilant person and never even let yourself dazed out as danger had always surrounded you. Besides, your superior would not be happy with that.
Your superior. The respective General Mahamatra.
He used to work all alone, but in your fourth year of becoming a matra, he started bringing you with him on missions. He once admitted that your way of taking care of things aligned perfectly with his, so he thought it would be even more efficient if he let you join him. It was truly an honor and you valued it so much.
As time passed by, the relationship between you and him grew fonder. He would frequently share a plethora of puns that, if truth be told, didn’t quite tickle you at the slightest. At first, deference drove you to feign amusement. However, as the ties between you grew profoundly, you found the confidence to respond with a deadpan expression and even openly admit that his jokes weren’t all that funny. Moreover, he would regularly coax you into playing TCG with him in your spare time. Besides all that, he always remained professional while working.
You have always admired him since the very beginning. Since you signed up for that matra position. His sense of justice, his strength, and the way he trained you, everything about him had always successfully drawn sparks on your eyes. Often you thought to yourself, how could he manage to do all that flawlessly despite being only a few years older than you?
You admired him.
No, probably that was not even the best to put it. You adored him, the General Mahamatra of the Akademiya.
Or, no, you adored him. Cyno.
Oh ..., the man he is.
Only thinking about him even made you flush all of a sudden, let alone recall the moments you were with him all the time. How lucky I was, you thought to yourself.
He visited Aaru Village quite often and had always bumped into you on every single one of his visits. He said his visit was now part of the Akademiya’s diplomatic effort to maintain the ties between the two contrasting areas. If truth be told, you were quite confused about the new and unusual behavior of the Akademiya. It never enforced that responsibility on matra when you were still in charge. Despite all that, you never cared about it that much. You would thank whoever it is who posed him the duty to visit Aaru Village because you could see him every once in a while.
You shut your eyes for a while and enjoyed the night breeze dancing through you. It was gentle and indulging as if it was aware of the wariness that had recently enveloped you.
For a few moments, you lingered in that state until you sensed a presence drawing near you. The soft rustling of cloth and the growing sound of footsteps became clearer now. With a sudden jolt, you opened your eyes and sat upright, apprehensive of any shadowy figure that might come closer.
In a breathless rush, you reached for the stiletto that you always attached to your sidearm belt just in case anything bad happened.
“Poor reaction time and weak grip. Had I encountered you like this back in the day, you could have been torn into pieces, even by an inexperienced eremite.”
The voice was firm and familiar, and so was the figure before you. It was the man in black and purple who lingered inside your mind just a few moments ago, with his usual staff gripped firmly in his right hand.
“Cyno.”
You loosened your grip on your stiletto which had already been weak, as he said, and you slowly attached it back to its place.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be sleeping at this hour?” he asked as he drew closer to you, leaving traces of footprints on the sands he stepped on.
You sighed and asked back instead of answering his question, “Did you have to make me jump like that?”
You settled back sitting on the ground, assured that no threat lingered. You drew your knees folded and held it to your chest.
A quiet thrill sparked within you as you saw him. A part of your heart swelled with quiet delight. You missed him. It was a week ago since his last visit here and you were beyond happy seeing him again.
“Danger cares for no distinction, whether you are a matra or not,” he lectured as he slowly brought himself sitting beside you.
You smiled sourly in an attempt to feign delight that stirred within, happy to hear his familiar grumbling again after not having heard it for a while.
“I know. I was just tired,” you answered. “It won’t happen again.”
“Promise me,” he demanded.
Was it even that serious?
“I promise,” you uttered with a slight reluctance.
“Good. Keep your promise.”
Neither of you uttered a sound afterward, leading to trailing silence. It was the first time you found yourself alone with him ever since your resignation and if you were to be honest, you felt quite awkward.
“Are you looking for Candace?” you asked, warding off the silence.
“I’m not here for official duty,” he answered, shaking his head a little bit.
“Then, what brings you here?”
“My duty for the day has finished and I just happened to pass by. Until I saw you with nothing in your mind in an open space like this. As if welcoming any possible threat,” he said with a subtle irony. “You should be grateful it was just me.”
“I said I won’t do that again,” you emphasized. “So, you were sent to the desert? Where?”
“Somewhere in the Eye of the Sands.”
You furrowed your eyebrows and turned your head to him. People do not usually pass by Aaru Village when they head to the forest from Eye of the Sands. You asked, “huh? Shouldn’t you go straight to Caravan Ribat?”
“Uh, that ... is true. It's just that I don’t want to go back sooner. I wanted to refresh my mind first before going on another mission tomorrow.”
You just nodded and made an 'oh' sound in response to that.
“Do you often stay here?” he asked.
“Pretty much, yes. This place has always been my favorite ever since I was little. I used to bring a lantern with me and read books here. This is such a perfect place to read romance, or maybe fantasy, no? When I was younger, I used to wish that I could understand how to paint. I wanted to frame this beautiful scenery before me with my own hands. And–” You paused for a few seconds mid-sentence and suddenly felt self-conscious. You worried that you might talk too much. “I don’t know why did I tell you all that. That’s … unnecessary. I’m sorry.”
You lowered your gaze that was upwards staring at the sky just a few moments ago. You felt embarrassed.
“I don’t mind,” Cyno replied. “Tell me more.”
You were caught off guard by his words. You turned to him slowly, finding him seated cross-legged, his chin resting on his hand, elbow on his knee. He rested his headdress beside him, exposing his silver locks that you rarely see. His body inclined towards you. Those scarlet eyes conveyed his interest in your story. So beautiful, as ever, you thought.
You then continued your sentences, telling him story after story about you and your childhood here in Aaru Village. He probably had noticed how much you love this place. He listened closely to each of your stories. In fact, you do love telling stories and you were glad Cyno loved listening to your stories.
“You’re saying you started teaching elementary students too?” Cyno asked.
“No, not really. It was only a few times when Setaria needed extra help. I was glad that I could lend a hand. Even though I liked it, I don’t have any intention to start becoming a teacher,” you answered while shaking your head lightly.
“Interesting,” Cyno mumbled. “So, that means, you're never going back to the forest?”
“That’s …,” you paused for a few seconds. “If there is any case that requires me to go there, I would.”
Cyno only responded with a brief ‘hm’, and the two of you once again wrapped with silence.
“I don’t think I belong there. I missed my home and I had always felt the urgency inside me to go back here. To protect my people,” you uttered.
“I share those feelings,” he said. “I came from the desert and that often makes me feel like I don’t belong to the forest. The feeling was rather unbearable when I first arrived there.”
Your pupils widened, gaze softened. After years of knowing him and many hours shared with him, you recognized how rare that moment was. Cyno did not tell stories about himself so often and you are glad he did this time.
“But I also feel disconnected from my homeland. I never really thought I belonged to the desert or the forest. I don’t know where am I supposed to belong to,” he shrugged as his voice lowered. “But with the power I wield, I always believed that these duties borne to me were the sole thing that I’ve got to answer my own question.”
He lowered his gaze and you could not fathom all the burden that he had been carrying all alone. You knew he was strong. Stronger than you, than anyone else. Yet, you were aware of one undeniable truth: he was as human as you and everyone else. A single truth that ensured that he was, too, inherently bound to feel all the same human emotions everyone else must feel.
“It was tough, but I always thought to myself that I am the vessel of those fragments. I was not chosen to wield all these powers only to be asking what, or where am I supposed to belong. It would be nothing, but rather a disgraceful waste,” he mumbled.
You sighed.
“Wrong,” you called.
Cyno lifted his face, looking at you with slight confusion after hearing your response.
“Having all that does not, and will not make you less of a human, Cyno. I know you have been going through a lot,” you uttered. “You are a human. I know I am nowhere as strong as you, but we share the same human emotions. You are not some kind of … immortal entity that can endure anything exceeding humans’ limits."
You caught Cyno staring at you with an intense gaze. His eyebrows were furrowed.
"I know maybe you have heard this a lot, but, it’s fine to feel burdensome, you know? It will always be something that humans, regardless of their power, would feel. You have been pushing yourself too hard.”
Cyno was silent, and so was you.
It made you start to overthink. Did you go too far? Shouldn’t you be saying all those words?
You never intended to give him unsolicited advice, as you were just expressing your genuine concern.
The moment you were about to open your mouth to apologize, you felt something weigh one of your shoulders. The moment you turned your head to the side, your cheek touched his soft silver strands.
He rested his head on your shoulder.
You froze, still as a statue, not knowing how to react. Shivers ran down your spine. He had never been this close to you and it made something inside your heart start pounding.
After some moments of silence, you heard him letting out a small chuckle.
“No one ever said those to me,” he sighed. “You were the first one to be telling me that.”
You swallowed, your body still as stiff.
So, has he been holding all that alone for so long?
“I’m tired.”
A sharp, singular pound, pulsed inside you. Never even once did you expect he would address that. He was always stubborn and often pushed himself way too far, physically. You always reminded him not to, but he never listened. Fortunately, the vision and the divine power he possessed always lent him the strength to overcome the physical strains. Thus, no matter how often he unyielded your bits of advice, he could still bear all that. Yet, it is indisputable that all those powers never meant to also help him withstand the mental burdens he had silently amassed and endured over time.
Teeth pressing upon your inner lower lip. Your breath grew heavy. You could not withstand seeing him like this, nor did you have any idea what to do.
“I know,” you replied. “I’m glad you finally admitted this.”
“Hm?”
“At least it could help you ease the strain.”
“It did.”
“Good. I’m relieved to hear that.”
Cyno sighed. He closed his eyes, head still resting on your shoulder. You reached your arm and reluctantly placed it on his head. You wanted to comfort him, but you were afraid of making him uncomfortable. Yet, you did it anyway.
You slowly started caressing his hair gently and he stayed just still.
Another silence enveloped the two of you once again. The night breeze politely blew past you. You were used to the cold night of the desert, and so was Cyno. After the hours he spent in the desert and days and nights he went through, the cold was not something new to him anymore.
The reluctance started creeping up again. You stopped caressing him, thinking it might make him silently uncomfortable. Besides, being this close to him made you feel strange. You did not complain, yet rather found comfort. However, it was something new that you were unfamiliar with and you needed some time to adjust.
“Can you please …,” he murmured. “Keep doing that?”
You swallowed. He did not feel uncomfortable, after all. You were left in quite a shock so you did not continue caressing him right away. As you drew your hand to start caressing him again, he lifted his head and cleared his throat. Never in your life that you felt your shoulder being so empty.
You were confused by his sudden move.
“I apologize. It was inappropriate of me to ask such a thing,” he voiced. It was obvious from his voice, that he tried to sound firm, but you could easily tell the difference. “I should not be wasting my time. I need to return to the city. You should get some rest too.”
You sighed as you stared deep into the piercing red eyes that glowed in your vision. You never found such a sight on everyone else’s eyes, but him.
“Is it that ... my words have never reached, nor touched your heart’s ears?” you mumbled.
You did not want to seem like you were judging him. You smiled lightly at him, who was looking away, as if not wanting to meet your eyes. You sighed and reached your hand out, placing your fingers to grip his jaw very gently, and with a light force, you turned his face into you.
All the hesitations within you faded out. The only thing you cared about was him. You wanted him to know that you genuinely cared for him. He had to notice that.
Cyno’s eyes widened the moment you forced him facing you. However, his gaze slowly softened afterward. He stared back deep into your eyes.
You moved your thumb to start caressing his cheek, and he lowered his face again, breaking the eye contact. You carefully observed his face. His sepia-toned skin with very thin sand particles stuck to his face, a new scar on top of his right eyebrows, and slightly chapped lips. Yet, to you, he was still breathtakingly beautiful.
Your heart had not stopped from throbbing so fast. At that very moment, you came to a realization.
It was not merely an admiration anymore. You liked him too much for it to be called as such.
You wanted him. It was love. You had never really fallen in love before, but you just knew it.
You suddenly felt a warm touch on your wrist. You stared at the veiny hand wrapped around your wrist as he moved his pupils, gazing at you once again.
“I apologize for never listening to you,” he mumbled. His voice was gentle. “Indeed, I have been feeling so tired recently and it's as if there is a void inside of me.”
You listened to him attentively, letting him speak.
“I thought there should be no room for these feelings. Because ... I am the Mahamatra. My subordinates needed me and the number of academic crimes has been escalating recently,” he uttered. “I had gone through situations like this before, but this time … It felt rather unbearable.”
His eyes wandered. The uneasiness was written all over his face.
“I have been harboring all this alone, for far so long. Not even once, in all my years as a matra, have I allowed myself to feel anything. Many people might despise me, but what would happen if the six cardinal sins became nothing but merely a set of historical stories that no longer apply?” He paused for a few seconds. “But I suppose … even a mahamatra needs something, or someone to rely on.”
You found his eyes meeting your gaze, but something changed. No longer did he bury his emotions in the depths of his soul. His gazes radiated that fatigue.
“Yes. Even a mahamatra needs someone to rely on,” you repeated his words.
A subtle smile graced his lips. The two of your gazes met and neither of you wished to look away.
The strain and tiredness that had drawn on his eyes earlier started softening and shifted to a calm and relaxed stare.
You smiled at him. He was still staring at you very fondly. His eyes felt like home to you.
“You are ... pretty.”
As soon as your ears caught those three words coming out of his mouth, you became motionless. It was as though crystalflies danced within you. You knew you had always loved the calm, bright night sky filled with stars, but you supposed those three words had outshined it.
“I didn’t intend to make you feel uncomfortable. I just … I have been wanting to tell you that,” he flustered, though it was clear he still tried to act like he wasn’t feeling anything. “W-was that okay?”
You did not answer.
No, it was not like you did not want to, but you could not.
If only he could grasp the effect of his words that had your heart stirred right then and there.
“I– did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry. I won’t say–”
He couldn’t finish his words as you suddenly leaned in and pressed your lips against his. It was merely a swift kiss, but his lips were so soft that you craved it more. Your heart raced even more wildly. Both of your cheeks surged with blood and warmth. If you would guess, perhaps it was more vivid than the vibrant color of crimson rose. Archon, you could only be grateful that the veil of the night helped to cover it so he wouldn’t notice it with such clarity.
You went silent and looked away, did not even dare to look at him again. His eyes widened. You couldn’t hear nor could you know it, but his heartbeat was just as messy as yours.
Your mind suddenly snapped back into reality and banished the tranquil atmosphere between you two.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know what had gotten into me. I'm sorry, Cyno. It was truly inappropriate and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You have all the right to be mad at me and I truly understand if you want to be distant from me. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Please, I'm really sorry-"
“I lied,” he uttered.
You turned your head to him. He paused his sentence. It was only a few seconds yet you felt like it was forever. What was he going to say? What was he lying about? He probably never meant to call you pretty. Probably it was just one of his jokes that he hadn’t finished yet. You felt scattered and scrambled. You were convinced everything was ruined now.
“I did not come here to refresh my mind. I came to see you. There was no guarantee for that, so ... only a small fragment of hope did I have, praying that you somewhat would be here. I wish you knew how sparks filled my vision seeing my wish was granted,” he confessed. “I lied about the diplomatic ties between the Akademiya and Aaru Village. I regularly come here so I can see you. The void that took residence within me was ... because you left. I was so tired, yet your existence alone had bring peace upon me.”
Your pupils grew bigger. You could feel another pound within you. Breathing became hard as you were afraid it was just a dream.
“The moment we regained our dreams, I hoped I would dream about you ...,” he paused for a second, “and I did.”
You were left speechless. You feared that you would suddenly wake up and find out none of these were real.
“I have adored you since my first day being a matra.” You erased all the hesitations lingering within you and took your turn to confess.
His eyes widened, never expecting that to come out of your mouth.
A faint warmth started lingering in your eyes and your vision slowly becomes a haze. You were fighting with every ounce of strength to not let those tears from running down your eyes.
“I love you, Cyno. I always have.”
“My heart echoes yours. I love you, too.”
You failed. Tears dropped as you could not hold it anymore. You chuckled while wiping your tears.
Cyno smiled. He reached his fingers out and helped you ease your tears away gently.
“I hope this isn’t a dream,” he uttered.
“That’s what I have been thinking.”
Cyno stared at you closely.
“Don’t.” You covered his eyes with your palm, not wanting him to see you cry. “I look like a mess.”
Cyno grabbed your hand that blocked his view of you and put it aside so he could still see your face. “You are the prettiest woman I have ever seen.”
“Don’t do that. I … sniff I wouldn't stop crying.”
Cyno was taken aback, never expecting his words to make you tear up even more. He drew himself closer to you, adjusting his position before enfolding you in his warm embrace. As you were sobbing against the crook of his neck, you could also feel the gentle and delicate touch of his fingers, stroking through your hair and his other hand caressing your back.
You spent a few moments crying and Cyno had to be there comforting you. You felt so touched. You have never been in love before and you did not know that it felt as beautiful as this. After you took some moments for a good cry, you leaned back. Fingers still tried to wipe the tears left over on your face and Cyno was just staring at you silently.
“May I kiss you?” he asked.
You smiled and responded with a nod.
"I'm sorry for not asking first earlier," you mumbled.
"Don't be. Though I was surprised, I'm truly glad you did that."
His body inclined towards you. Tilted face drawn closer to you and the next thing you could feel was his soft lips touching yours. You melted into the kiss, feeling his warm lips. A swift shiver ran through you.
Cyno tried deepening his kiss and you welcomed him very warmly. Both of your body moved, rhyming with the kiss. Lips were dancing, colliding. You put your arms around his neck and he grabbed your waist, pulling you closer as if the distance wasn’t enough. Your lips were moving in a slow, delicate motion as so was his. It was as if the kiss was a medium for both of you to channel all the unspoken words kept in each other for so long.
He slowly pulled his face away and your lips parted way with his. You could see him smile. It was beautiful and rare as a treasure. You, too, curved your lips up before he landed another gentle kiss on your forehead.
“You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this,” he said.
“And I share the same sentiment,” you chuckled. “I thought you would forget me the second I left the city.”
Cyno furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.
“That would never happen,” he assured. “Even if the Irminsul erased your existence, I would still remember you.”
You smiled warmly. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard in your entire life and that was the side of him you had never seen before.
You did not want him to go. Your soul screamed, yearning for him to stay for a bit longer.
“W-would you want to … stay here for the night, perhaps?” you asked hesitantly.
“How could I say no to that?” he asked back and you chuckled. "But, as much as I want to be with you for so much longer, I would have to take my leave early in the morning tomorrow."
You smiled wryly. “At least we could spend the rest of our nights together. Well, let's go in. I believe it’s past midnight already. You need to rest,” you said while preparing yourself to get up and he nodded.
You waited for Cyno while he was reaching for his headdress and his staff before finally walking alongside you to your home.
It was, indeed, one of the most beautiful nights that ever happened to you.