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"I love you, Gon !"
He's always wanted to hear those words.
He's always wanted to hear those words. But they're never from who he most desires.
He's heard it plenty, he's sure of that. He's counted.
He's heard it from younger to older, from lies to whole-heartedly truths, from platonic to romantic - but it's not what he wants. It feels bitter. It feels all fake, none of them sit right with him, none of them match.
"Retz, I'm sorry. I'll never be able to return your feelings."
Never. He says. He's sure of it. His heart already belongs to them. It fits the void that was once empty, a mold made specifically for his heart to fit in.
He's always wanted to hear those words.
From the boy with white, silky-smooth, long, messy hair. From the boy with sapphires as eyes, his gaze mysterious, almost melancholic, and tired, even. From the boy with the countless scars resting in their porcelain skin. Gon wants to kiss them all better. From the boy with that mischievous smile, that only softens for him, and him only. It's not the way it softens when they see their sister, it'll never be the same. They smile, look at him so lovingly it pains him to no end, and he wants to feel that pain forever.
He wants them to eat every bit of him so they can be together forever. He wants them to hold his heart and place it on the mold, tenderly, with care. Gon wants to feel their embrace.
He wonders why they never tell him that they love him, everyone knows it, even himself. Yet they never say anything. He wants to hear them say it. He'd give sun, moon and stars to hear them say those words - Yet it doesn't happen.
He'll wait as long as he needs to feel that oh-so-desired bliss. He'll wait for them, he's always done it, and he'll keep it that way. He'll keep waiting.
He's been told that he's everything but patient. Even by them. But he believes he's the most patient person in the world. Only for them, he'll only wait for them.
'I love you, Gon.' They'd say.
'I love you too Killua, more than you can imagine.' He'd answer.
He's always wanted to hear those words.