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There was cheap wine coming out of her nose.
Jessie grabbed a napkin from the plastic table and wiped it off, still laughing. The table wobbled a bit with the careless force of her gesture. “I can’t believe you did that. That was nuts.”
“C’mon, Jess. When did you become such a rule-abiding citizen?” She shook her head, still smiling. “I don’t recall being alone when we used to do basically the opposite of what our dads told us to. And I’m not talking about Hadj.”
“No, I know. I guess…I guess this is different.”
Jonny knew what she meant. It was different when it wasn’t your dad in charge of the expedition. That right there was a natural inhibitor of bratty and unruly behavior. In some people, anyway. Jonny liked to keep himself pretty consistent.
“I just don’t wanna embarrass my mom, you know,” she continued after taking another sip of her wine. “She was the one who got this opportunity for me and I don’t want to make her look bad – if at all possible,” she added, jokingly throwing him a dirty look.
“It won’t be traced back to you,” he said with mock seriousness.
“Hmph. Thanks.” Her smile faded a little as she stared into her plastic cup. “Not like I’ll be here long anyway. I don’t know.”
He turned to look at her. “You’re not liking the dig? Seems like they’re finding some pretty fascinating stuff. I’d have thought you’d love it.”
“I guess. I just…I’m not sure this is exactly what I want, you know.”
Jonny hummed in understanding. “Don’t wanna have to fill your mom’s shoes?” he asked gently.
“Not so much.” Jessie sighed. “Also…I don’t know. I’ve always…” She sighed again. “I’ve always dreamed of being a scientist, you know. And this…this is cool, but it doesn’t give me the feeling.”
“The feeling?”
“You know, the butterflies, the excitement. That feeling you get when you’re doing what you love most in the world. I guess as much as these digs kind of feel like home to me because of my mom, I’ve always pictured myself in a lab.”
“Hmm. Yeah. I’ve always pictured you in a lab, too.”
“You have?”
“Yeah.”
Jessie turned back to her wine, smiling. “I don’t know what she’s gonna think. I think she’s always assumed this was what I meant when I said I wanted to be a scientist.” She was silent for a few moments. “I hope she’s not disappointed,” she half-whispered.
Jonny turned to look at her again and her entire posture was hunched – like she wanted to curl herself into a ball. It wasn’t often that she let him see this aspect of her and his heart ached a little at the sight. For a single moment, it all seemed worth it: breaking things off with Kate, leaving Boston in the middle of the semester, packing the bare essentials and jumping on a plane to South America, just to be let into her world for a little bit. Jess was just home to him: her mind, her heart, her face. Everything about her.
“I don’t know how anyone could be disappointed in you,” he finally said.
Jessie snorted. “Please.”
“Seriously,” he said. “There’s nothing about you that could be remotely construed as disappointing.”
The way she looked at him then gave him chills. “And is that even a good thing?”
Jonny swallowed hard. “Well,” he said, smirking, “that’s a different conversation. I personally like to disappoint some people every once in a while.”
She was still staring into his eyes. “Just to keep things interesting?”
“Exactly.”
“But not your dad? Or mine?”
Jonny’s smirk faded a little at that. “Not if I can help it,” he answered after a pause, trying to keep his tone as light as possible.
She finally looked away. “Yeah.” They didn’t say anything for a while, but their silences were never really awkward. “Jonny, why are you here?”
“Missed you?”
“Try again.”
“Needed some adventure?”
“And?”
Jonny sighed. “Fine. I just couldn’t stand my life.”
Jessie looked up at him sharply. “What?”
“There’s only so much one can take of that stale, boring bullshit before you need to get the hell out,” he said, staring ahead unseeingly. He could feel her surprise as she stared at the side of his head.
“Damn,” she said. “Didn’t really expect to hear that. I thought things were going well with Kate?” When he didn’t immediately reply, she added: "How about school?”
“I––“ he started. “Kate is fine, I guess. It’s––it’s not her fault. It just wasn’t happening, you know.”
“Right.” There was a pause that was slightly on the edge of awkward. “Did you break up with her?”
“Yeah,” he said simply.
“I see.”
“I was just bored with school, I guess. I’ll go back next semester, probably. Just…needed a break. I’m not used to staying still so long. Don’t like it much.”
She snickered at that. “Trust me, I know. Losing all your progress this semester though? Sounds kinda exhausting.”
“Whatever.”
“Does your dad know?”
“…Not yet.”
“Does he even know where you are?”
“Nope.”
“...Did you come down here to hide?” she asked suspiciously.
“No! I mean, not entirely...“
“Jonny.”
He grinned. “No, I mean it. I also missed you.”
She raised an eyebrow. “So you came to a dusty, boring dig thousands of miles away from home just for my pretty green eyes?”
“And to run away from my problems, remember?”
She smiled. “Of course.”
Jonny saw an opportunity and took it before the wave of adrenaline in his chest stopped him. “That’s kind of why I ended things with Kate, actually.” She just looked at him expectantly, so he continued. “She wasn’t…enough, I guess."
“In what way?”
“In all the ways. I mean, it’s not her fault,” he repeated. “She just doesn’t really fit into my life.”
“Why not? I mean, it’s not like––“
“She’s not you.”
Jess stared at him for a few moments, lips parted. His heart felt like it was beating a thousand times a minute. “Oh,” she said at last.
He stood, smiling at her eloquence. “I mean, she’s just gotta... feel like home, you know. She didn't feel like home.”
“And I do?” she asked, voice small as she looked up at him.
“Of course,” he said, smiling slightly. “How could she compete with that?” Jonny held her gaze for a few moments longer, then placed his empty cup on the table and turned to walk to his tent. He might as well give her some time to think about what he’d said, about what it could mean – she’d always needed time to process things.
“Jonny, wait!” she called after he’d walked a few paces.
He turned around, surprised. “Want me to walk you to your tent?”
“Sure,” she said as she caught up to him. Then, she grabbed the zippered edges of his open jacket and pulled him down for a kiss.
It was short, and slightly awkward as he removed his hands from his pockets and placed them on her hips to steady them both, but he was breathless all the same when they broke apart a few moments later. She smiled at the slow, lopsided grin forming on his face. “Shall we?“