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2024-09-04
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2024-11-22
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6/?
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His All American Girl

Chapter 6: Avengers Assemble!: To Me My X-Men! Part 2

Summary:

Kurt explains what makes him well him; The Avengers and The X-Men team up to fight Loki.

Notes:

warnings: body horror, bigotry, mentions of the Holocaust, daddy issues, mommy issues, religion, murder, percy jackson reference.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

‘So since you have 2 fingers and a thumb how do you form a fist?’ Steve asked Kurt. ‘Like this,’ Kurt made a fist as if he had 4 fingers and a thumb. ‘Nice. I’m guessing the monks didn’t teach you that?’ Steve added. ‘No, Logan did,’ Kurt said as he hit the bag. ‘Where did you learn Steve?’ Kurt asked, ‘I lived in Brooklyn, you had to know how to fend for your-self. Even though I was very sickly,’

 

‘How sick?’ Kurt asked, hitting the bag much harder this time, ‘Very,’ Steve said ending at that. ‘Kurt if I may ask, why were you taken to a monastery?’

 

‘Well, I like to call my-self a science project,’ He muttered, ‘A science project?’

 

‘Some-thing akin to The Creature from Frankenstein,’

 

‘I thought Frankenstein was the monster?’ Steve asked, ‘Victor Frankenstein was a monster of his own,’ Jessup interjected. ‘Interesting,’ Steve said, pacing the gym, ‘Any-way Kurt I’d like to know more. If that’s alright?’

 

‘Sure. I have 2 Mutters,’ Kurt began, ‘Irene Alder and Raven Darkholme,’ Kurt added, ‘in the late 90s Irene told Raven to shoot her shot with Baron Christian Wagner. And she did,’ He sighed, ‘It went well for a-while,’ he threw a hard hit on the bag, ‘Until, she met the demon Azazel. The 2 started an affair. My mum was lucky enough that Baron Wagner never noticed her affair. How-ever,’ Kurt began, ‘She grew bored of Azazel and they broke up. In the year 2000. Irene asked for a baby,’ Kurt groaned, ‘I’m sorry for asking this,’ Steve said, ‘It’s o-kay, some-times we need to let out our trauma,’ Said Kurt. ‘That’s good advice. Tony should take it,’

 

‘So, should Logan. Any-way, my mum said yes and I was made. My mum used the DNA of Baron Wagner, Azazel and her-self to make me. How-ever Irene carried me. If that makes any sense so I got her genes too,’

 

‘That does sound like The Creature from Frankenstein,’ Steve told Kurt, ‘Any-way, Baron Wagner walked in on my 2 Mutters and Raven killed him. Raven pretended to be him for a-while. And also helped carry me. Trust me I’m just as confused as you are. And mum wrote this to me in a letter,’ Kurt smiled sadly, ‘Well, she typed the letter. Any-way, I was born on November 11th 2000. And Irene had a hard birth with me. Irene did love me for a second. And then noticed I was too blue for her. Mean-while Raven hid me under a tree if I remember correctly. And told me she loved me, and left me to save Irene. That’s when the monks found me,’ Kurt finished, sighing in relief. ‘That’s quite the story,’

 

‘It is,’ Steve told Kurt. 

 

**

‘So, Mr. LeBeau, what do you know of this gauntlet?’ Nick Fury asked. ‘Not much. It’s just some-thing an old girl-friend said to me,’ He shrugged, ‘I thought it was a myth of some sort. Je ne crois pas qu'un gant  puisse détruire le monde,’

 

‘Does The Tesseract have any other names?’ Dr. Banner questioned, ‘Yes,’ Remy told them, ‘What is it?’

 

‘La pierre de l’esprit,’ Remy told the 2 men. 

 

**

‘Have you ever met Loki?’ Coulson asked Logan. ‘Listen, just because I was born in 1832. Does not mean I have met the Norse God Of Mischief,’ Logan flashed a smile that made Coulson’s blood run cold.

 

**

‘So, you’re tellin’ me? You’re not a demon or an elf but a mutant and you have 2 moms?’ Banner asks Kurt. ‘Yup,’ Kurt responded.

 

**

‘Get your gear!’ Steve yells, as Remy walks to The Black-Bird. ‘Where is he going?’ Asked Tony, ‘Remy is grabbing their gear,’ Steve whispered. ‘How do you know?’

 

‘I just know,’ Steve said, walking away to grab his gear. 

 

**

‘Who the Hell would choose blue and yellow for their gear?’ Asked Tony. ‘Who would choose black for their gear?’ Jessup asked. ‘It just seems like Mr. Howlett wouldn’t wear bright colours,’

‘He likes The University Of Michigan’s foot-ball team,’

‘What are Michigan’s colours?’

‘Blue and yellow. Their mascot is a wolverine,’ Jessup laughed. 

 

‘Ready to go?’ Kurt asks. ‘Yeah, I’ll be there in a second,’ Jessup waved him off. ‘He’s not wearing yellow and blue,’

 

‘Not every-one does. Besides, the blue would match his skin,’ Says Jessup. ‘Yeah, that makes sense,’ As Jessup put on her gas blue boots he looked at her, ‘How’s your mother?’ Tony asked, ‘Good,’ She said; not looking him in the eye.

 

‘Are you nervous?’ Tony questioned. ‘No, I’ve had training for some-thing like this,’ She told him as she pulled on her other boot. ‘Let’s go!’ She told Tony. 

 

‘I have a question,’ Fury said to Charles; ‘It’s called, Cerebro and detects both humans and mutants,’

 

‘We’re not looking for a human or a mutant we’re looking for a-,’ Charles cut him off; ‘A God. I know may-be Cerebro can help,’ That was all Charles said to Nick.

 

**

‘This is nice,’ Scott said, feeling the panels of the Quinjet. ‘I know,’ Bruce said proudly. ‘Dr. Banner, did you build it?’ Scott added, ‘No, but I helped,’

 

‘What’d you help with?’ Scott asked. ‘The blue-prints,’ Says Bruce. ‘May-be you can up-date The-,’

 

‘I’ll do the updating of The Black-Bird,’ Said Forge, ‘So what can you do?’ Bruce asked, ‘I can understand machines,’ He answers. ‘And you’re part machine, correct?’ Tony asked. ‘Yes,’ Forge finished. ‘This is one nice ride. How-ever, I feel sick,’ Says Remy, ‘You get air-sick?’

‘Some-times,’ Remy tells Tony. ‘I’ll get you some water,’ Says Natasha. ‘Thanks,’

 

‘So, Jessup, do you like it?’ Tony asks. ‘It’s o-kay, I’ll say the interior is nice,’ She said, running her hands on one of the walls, ‘Reminds me of Star Wars. Feels like we’re about to witness Luke Skywalker destroy the Death Star,’

 

‘You’re such a nerd,’ He tells her, ‘Also stop molesting my jet!’

 

‘It’s not even yours,’ She mumbles. ‘You wanna talk to your dad like that?’ Tony says, then smiles as Jessup sticks her tongue out at him.

 

‘So, you were never a-part aerial battles?’ Steve asked Logan. ‘Nope. I was mostly on the ground or in a naval battle,’ Logan tells Steve. 

 

‘Logan has quite the history of battles on the ground,’ Beast says, ‘So, Kurt, how do you feel on your first trip that’s not on The Black-Bird?’ Jessup asked, ‘Well, it’s nice. A little bumpy, other than that, quite enjoyable,’ 

 

‘Do you feel Han Solo?’ Kurt asks Remy. ‘Kinda,’ Remy says he sips his bottle of water. ‘Who’s the guy in the cape?’ Kurt asks. ‘I think God Of Thunder,’ Says Hank. ‘I’ve seen God. And he’s never looked like that!’ Kurt points to the man flying near their ship. ‘Alright who wants to make contact with The God Of Thunder?’ Hank asks, ‘I will,’ Jessup tells him jumping out the jet flying towards him, ‘I’ll give it to her,’ Says Tony. ‘She’s got guts,’ He finished. ‘She does,’ Logan sighs. ‘You o-kay?’ Tony asks. ‘That’s my baby girl and she’s going to make contact with The God Of Thunder,’ Logan could hear Kurt praying. ‘It’s going to be alright,’ Rogue says; as she puts her hand on his shoulder.

 

**

 

‘That was awesome,’ Jessup said even though she was sore, ‘You Water-Works are very brave,’ Thor tells Jessup. ‘Thank you. How-ever you can call me Jessup,’

 

‘Jessup. Where’s that elf friend of yours?’ He asks, ‘I don’t know,’ Jessup says. 

‘More than one God?’ Kurt asked Remy. ‘It’s mad,’ Remy said, fixing his wet hair, ‘It seems as if my world has once again been changed,’

 

‘When did your world change for the first time?’

‘When I teleported to The Mansion,’

‘Oh. Mine was when I met your sister,’ Remy says grabbing a comb, ‘Can grab me a rubber band please?’

 

‘Sure,’ Kurt says going through Remy’s duffle, ‘Why aren’t you as shocked as I am with this whole thing?’ Kurt said finding a rubber band, ‘May-be because I didn’t grow up with monks,’ Remy said, grabbing the rubber band and pulling his hair into a man-bun. ‘Listen, Kurt. We’ll figure this whole thing out. We’ll defeat Loki and every-thing’ll go back to normal,’ He reassures the younger mutant. ‘Normal?’ Kurt asked. ‘What’s normal for us any-way,’ Remy pulled a clean shirt on. ‘C’mon let’s go eat dinner,’

 

**

‘So, your brother is on a killing spree and he started in Germany? Which is my home?’ Kurt said with anger. ‘Yes,’ Thor retorted. ‘It seems as if he’s repeating history,’ Steve mutters. ‘What do you mean repeating history ?’

 

‘It’s a long and disturbing story,’ Logan answers. 

 

**

‘So The Mind-Stone turns people in-to your brother’s own personal flying monkeys?’ Natasha asks Thor. ‘I under-stood that reference,’ Steve laughed.

**

 

‘So, Mr. Howlett, are you nervous?’ Tony asked Logan. ‘No, I’m just remembering Alberta’s motto,’ Logan smiled. ‘What is it?’ Clint asks. ‘ Fortis et Liber ,’ Logan said, ‘Huh?’ Clint says. ‘Strong and free,’ He translated for Clint.

‘Strong and free? Are you sure you’re strong?’ Steve teases. ‘I’m much stronger than you, Rogers,’ He laughed. ‘Oh really?’ Says Steve. ‘Really,’ Logan smiled. ‘Is this what happens before battles?’

‘People let off steam. Some-times drinking, some-times big rousing speeches. It really depends on the soldiers,’ Bruce tells Tony. 

 

‘Any-one got a rousing speech before we save the world?’ Tony asked. ‘TO ME MY X-MEN!’ Logan bellows, raising a fist in-to the sky; Tony notices the fist has claws. ‘AVENGERS!’ Steve says, ‘ASSEMBLE!’ grabbing his shield. 

 

**

‘So, Elf, what are your powers?’ Thor asks Kurt. ‘Well, I can teleport. And I’m good with swords,’ Kurt answers. ‘Swords?’ Thor asked. ‘Yes, I have 3 swords,’ Kurt responds. ‘What are their names?’ Thor says. ‘Swords have names?’ Tony asks. ‘All the best swords have names,’ Thor told him. ‘Well. I’m kinda embarrassed about their names,’ Kurt said scratching the back of his neck. ‘What are they named Sugar Cube? Cherry Pop? Coffee?’ Tony asked. ‘Can you shut your mouth,’ Logan tells Tony. ‘Who made you the boss of me?’ Tony asks Logan. ‘I’m older than you,’ 

‘Any-way, tell ‘em what you named your swords. I think it’s cool,’ Steve told Kurt. ‘You know about his swords?’

‘I lived with the X-Men for a-while,’ Steve said, not looking at Tony. ‘They’re called; Michael, George and Jerome,’

‘Why do they have human names?’ Tony asked. ‘Well, Michael is an arch-angel,’ Remy said, ‘George is a dragon slayer, and there are 2 Jerome’s, how-ever I know he’s talkin’ about the second one; Jerome the saint of orphans and abandoned children. Like Kurt I can relate to the 2nd one,’

‘What about you Jessup do you have weapons?’ Thor asks her. ‘Well. I can control water, fly and I’m good with a sword,’

 

‘I deal with fencing like swords like Errol Flynn,’ Kurt said, ‘She uses a sword that’s also a pen,’ Kurt explained. 

‘Alright looks like it’s time for a fight!’ Says Logan.

 

**

The first time Tony saw Logan’s hands, he had no idea what he was expecting: the hands were big and hairy, he wore his nails long and clean, he had scars on his knuckles from his claws popping out of there. How-ever the first time he heard the noise of Logan’s claws popping out, it sounded like a sword being released from it’s sheath. 

 

‘So, what exactly are we lookin’ for?’ Remy asks. ‘Frost giants, ogres, trolls, and dark elves,’ Thor responded. ‘So, basically my current D&D campaign?’ Jessup asks, ‘My daughter plays D&D?’

 

‘If we’re lookin’ for some-thing then I think it’s best to hide between buildings,’ Logan said, ‘Why should we hide?’ 

‘Because it gives us cover,’ Forge told Tony. ‘Who died and made The X-Men in charge?’ Natasha asks, ‘Team-work makes the dream work,’ Logan says with a grin, ‘How big are each of the creatures?’ Kurt asks, ‘A Frost-Giant about 12 feet tall, an Ogre about 6 feet, an Orc around 5 feet, and a Dark-Elf about 8 feet,’ Thor says casually as if this was some-thing you talked about in day-to-day life. ‘Well, what happens if we don’t kill them?’

‘Loki takes over the universe,’ Kurt tells Scott. ‘I hear some-thing!’ Logan says, covering the group with his body, ‘What is it?’ Jean asks. ‘It’s I believe it’s an Orc,’

 

‘I’ll take the first kill,’ Jessup says, jumping off the ground; balls of water floating above her palms, ‘HEY LOSER!’ she beckoned toward the Orc, ‘Come and get it!’

As she threw balls of water at The Orc, Remy joined in the fun, lighting up his Bo Staff and hitting another that came from behind the one Jessup fought with. Steve saw one running near Logan, ‘COVER ME!’ Logan yelled, grabbing one and slicing it’s head off, ‘This is where the fun begins!’ Logan said with a slasher smile. 

 

Kurt felt some-one fuzzy next to him, ‘Mutter?’ he asked, ‘Mutter?’

 

‘How did you end up with the heroes?’ Asked a Dark Elf. ‘I’m sorry what?’

 

‘Why did you choose their side?’ The Dark Elf asked again. ‘I’m not an elf,’ Kurt said, stabbing it in the heart with one of his swords. ‘I’m a mutant! AND PROUD!`

 

As Jessup and Remy fought off a pack of Orcs; Steve shot one of them with his sawed off shot-gun, ‘Nice job!’ Tony said from the air, ‘I can do one better,’ He said flying over every-one’s heads as he blew up a group of Ogres. 

 

When one Dark Elf got too close to Rogue, Natasha shot in the heart, ‘That’s what girls do!’ Natasha told Rogue. ‘Uh, thanks?’ Rogue said as flew to the top of a Frost-Giant dropping a pile of bricks on it’s head. As she flew down Clint handed her a knife, ‘Keep it!’ He told her, when one Orc came close to Rogue she slit it’s throat, ‘This is quite a work out!’ Storm said to Thor as she shocked one to death, ‘It could be considered as that,’ Thor told her, ‘Alright Banner! Be-come the Green Guy!’ Said Beast punching Bruce’s arm, ‘OW!’

 

‘I see more down near the bus stop!’ Scott said in-to their ear-pieces, ‘Be right there,’ Said Logan. ‘So, Erik, are you enjoying your-self?’ 

 

‘I haven’t had this fun since I killed Shaw in The 60s,’ Erik said, ‘You’re the one who killed Sebastian Shaw?’ Hawkeye asked over the ear-piece; ‘Yes, and it was for a good cause,’

‘Hey, Thor, I think your brother is running out of mooks!’ Tony yelled from the air. ‘It seems so. It also seems like he wants to battle me!’ Thor said, flying toward a dark portal.

 

‘This is like Cain and Abel,’ Kurt said, ‘but with Gods,’ Logan added.

Notes:

Yes, we finally get a mention of Sebastian Shaw's murder! Don't worry but the next chapter is kinda lighter.