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“Bella, ya know, you should meet my daughter Leah. I think you two would really hit it off.”
“Bella, ya know, my daughter Leah, you two should hang out, I think you’d get along.”
“You should come over with your dad to watch the Mariners game, my daughter Leah is gonna watch with us.”
All those times Harry tried to get Bella to come over and spend time with his daughter. Instead she had made the stupid decision to chose that abusive piece of shit over watching a baseball game with her dad. If only she knew then what she knew now.
Maybe if she had just taken Harry up on his offer, she wouldn’t have ever had her heart broken. She wouldn’t have the PTSD. She wouldn’t have the nightmares. She would’ve had an extra year with the love of her life. She could’ve been there during Leah’s transition. Helped her through it so she wouldn’t have felt so alone.
“Baby, look at me.” Leah gently lifted Bella’s chin to see the tears filling her imprint’s eyes. “As much as I wish I could go back and steal you away from that blood sucker before he could ever touch you-“ Leah paused, closing her eyes, pushing down her anger. “Things happens for a reason. We may not always understand it but there are forces greater than us deciding when things happen. Your trauma is not your fault. My trauma is not your fault. I’m just grateful for every day I get to hold you and call you mine. Okay?”
Bella nodded tearfully, “okay.” A small smile started to form on Bella’s face, softening the concern on Leah’s.
Leah’s arms wrapped around Bella’s small frame, rubbing warm circles on her imprint’s back.
——
The first time Bella saw Leah was at Harry Clearwater’s funeral. While Bella knew it was wildly inappropriate and she was there to support her grieving father, she couldn’t stop staring at the insanely tall, insanely hot girl in the all black suit standing next to Sue and Seth Clearwater.
Wait, THAT is Leah? The girl Harry had wanted her to befriend so badly?
Bella didn’t know what she was expecting but it certainly wasn’t HER.
She was TALL. Not as tall as Jacob or Seth or anyone else in the pack, but she towered over Bella’s 5’4” frame. Her hair was cut short, shorter than Charlie’s on the sides but longer on the top. It looked so silky. Bella’s fingers practically twitched wanting to run her fingers through it. The tall girl wore a black suit with a black shirt, no tie but the top three buttons were undone. Bella felt herself wanting to see what Leah looked like with the rest of that shirt unbuttoned.
Fuck. This was not the time.
Bella could see Sue Clearwater’s head held high, not a tear in sight. Seth was trying to stay strong but Bella could see the tears forming in his eyes. Leah was following her mother’s lead, strong and silent, with a protective hand on her little brother’s back.
Bella looked over at her father sitting next to her, the tears in his eyes resembling Seth’s. She reached over grabbing her father’s hand and squeezing. Charlie looked down at his daughter with a small smile and dropped her hand to put his arm around her shoulders, holding her for comfort.
Bella returned the favor by resting her head on her father’s shoulder. She didn’t care how childish it may look, her father had just lost his best friend. She thought of Leah and Seth, and was grateful for the opportunity to hug her father.
-
Bella didn’t actually meet Leah until later that day, inside the meeting hall where the food was being served after the service.
Charlie and Bella had waited patiently for their turn to pay their respects to the Clearwaters. As the introverted father and daughter duo grew anxious in the overly social setting, they agreed they should take their place in line to hug Sue, Seth and Leah.
While they neared the front of the line, Bella suddenly felt grateful for the outfit she’d chosen that morning. At first she’d worried it was too girly but it was the only thing in her closet that felt formal enough.
The black floral lace tights under the fitted black velvet dress had felt too sexy when she first left the house, grateful for her coat covering it. But now as she was about to meet the very, very attractive Clearwater daughter, she felt herself wishing she’d actually put on more makeup than just a quick coat of mascara and chapstick.
Leah’s eyes met Bella’s as Charlie stepped forward to hug Sue. Bella felt herself blush and look down at her worn out black flats, wishing they were some sexier heels or something. When she finally looked up after hearing her father say her name, Bella saw that Leah was still staring.
“Bella I’m so glad you could come,” Sue declared as she pulled Bella into a hug. “Harry was always fond of you.”
Bella blushed harder and looked over to see Seth punching his sister’s arm. Leah’s jaw has dropped slightly.
“Of course. I’m so sorry for your loss.” Bella knew the words sounded lame as soon as she heard them but she didn’t know what else to say.
As Charlie expressed much more eloquent condolences to Sue, Bella went to hug Seth who at least she had met a couple times.
“Seth, I’m so so sorry. I can’t even imagine. I don’t even know what to say.” Bella fought back tears as she hugged the boy tightly.
“Thanks Bella, I’m glad you came.” The boy hugged her back, seeming years older than when she had seen him just a few weeks ago.
When Bella finally let go, Seth thankfully filled the silence. “You haven’t met my sister, Leah, have you?”
“No,” Bella blushed, pushing her hair behind her ear and looking up at the very tall, very gorgeous girl with the eyes that felt like they were boring through Bella’s skull.
“Hi.” Leah finally put out her hand in greeting. Bella’s instant anxiety about how clammy her hands must be flooded her body but when she shook Leah’s hand all Bella could think about was how big, and strong, and warm the girl’s hand was. It felt so fucking good. Better than any other handshake she’d ever felt in her life.
Certainly nothing like how ice cold Edward’s hands used to be. Bella’s mind flashed to warming her hands on the heater in her car in secret after holding Edward’s hands. She thought of how she used to hide hand warmers in the pockets of her clothes, sneaking her hands in her pockets whenever she could to keep her fingers from freezing.
Bella would never have to sneak hand warmers in her pockets if she was dating Leah.
Snapping back to reality Bella realized neither of them had said a word, but were still holding each other’s hands.
“Well Bells, I think it’s time we head out.” Charlie’s hand on her back was Bella’s signal they were leaving.
Bella dropped Leah’s hand, stammering out an awkward “it was nice to meet you!” before following her father back to the car.
She glanced back after grabbing her coat from her chair at Leah and found the tall girl looking back at her. Bella smiled and felt a rush down to her core when Leah smiled back and waved. Bella shyly waved back and followed Charlie back to his truck. Bella couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she walked out to the parking lot.
—
The next time she saw Leah, Bella almost fell over with how hot Leah looked.
Jake had called Bella and invited her to come over to work more on their bikes. She really wasn’t expecting to walk into the shed to find Leah Clearwater squatting down working on a very cool, very bad ass looking motorcycle.
In black jeans and black motorcycle boots, in a worn out black t-shirt with the sleeves and some of the sides cut off. Bella caught a peak at the black sports bra under the shirt and she’s pretty sure her brain short circuited for a second.
“Bella, you remember Leah?” Jake’s voice registered somewhere in the background but Bella was too distracted by Leah wiping her strong hands on a red bandana and tucking it in the back pocket of her jeans. Bella’s brain noticed the thick black leather belt Leah wore and suddenly wondered what those huge, strong, warm hands would look like unbuckling that belt.
“Hey,” Leah’s smile sending that warm intense feeling to Bella’s core again. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing. I had some work to do on my bike so I figured I might join you.” Bella could’ve sworn she saw the smallest wink from Leah causing Bella’s jaw to drop.
While Bella tried to control her breathing and not drool in front of the very hot very tall girl, she racked her brain for something to say.
“No, I don’t- don’t mind at all. I’m glad you’re here.” Bella got out, almost without stammering that time. She suddenly regretted her choice of outfit that day. Her leggings, sweatshirt and Uggs felt like the worst choice she’d ever made in her life.
Yes, she was warm and comfy but at what cost? With no makeup, what the fuck was she thinking? Thank God she’d actually showered that morning and her hair was actually drying nicely in waves and not frizzy. If she’d shown up with her hair in a greasy bun, Bella was pretty sure she would’ve died of humiliation on the spot.
“I didn’t know you rode!” Yes! Good job, Bella. That was a coherent sentence!
Leah chuckled standing to her full height of 5’10”, probably closer to 6 feet in those boots. Bella tried not to actually physically swoon.
“Yeah, I’ve actually been riding for awhile, taught Jake over here everything he knows.” Leah joked throwing a rag at Jake’s head which he caught easily.
“Whatever.” Jake rolled his eyes and busied himself with something at his tool bench.
“Guess I should’ve come to you for riding lessons, then. I kind of crashed and smashed my head into a rock my first time out with Jake.” Bella laughed taking a step closer to Leah.
She swore she could feel the heat radiating off of Leah from where she was standing. How could she stand to be in a muscle tee when it’s freezing out? Right, wolf thing, Bella remembered.
“What?! Was she even wearing a helmet?!” Leah snapped at Jake, surprising Bella.
“Relax-“ Jake started before being interrupted by Bella.
“It was my fault!” Bella quickly declared feeling the familiar rush of adrenaline and fear in reaction to someone yelling at Jake over her safety.
“I had just gotten out of a pretty abusive relationship and I wasn’t making the best decisions. Jake made sure every time after that I had a helmet on.” Bella was surprised and scared at the anger radiating off Leah.
Bella couldn’t do that again, she couldn’t do the possessive partner thing. It was one of the red flags she’d discussed with her therapist a lot in realizing how abusive her relationship with Edward had been.
Suddenly Bella found herself wondering if her crush on the eldest Clearwater was a mistake. Another abusive relationship waiting to happen. More adrenaline and cortisol pumped through her body as her fight or flight response kicked in.
Bella noticed the tall girl’s body language soften quickly. The scowl on her face melting into a smile in Bella’s direction. “Well, if you ever want to go riding with a real dyke to show you how it’s done, I’m available.” Leah once again knelt down to continue working on her bike, easing Bella’s nerves that confrontation seemed to have been resolved.
Taking deep breaths Bella tried to calm her anxiety. Using the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her. Bella knew if she didn’t eat some food and drink water soon, her rush of fear hormones would make her sick to her stomach.
“Hey Jake, I’m kinda hungry, I’m gonna go inside and order some pizza. You want the usual?” Bella noted Jake’s nod as she braced herself to talk to the very intimidating Clearwater girl again. “Leah, any preference on pizza?”
“Just plenty, Jake and I tend to eat more now than we used to.” Leah joked looking up at Bella’s nervous face. Leah’s face had softened considerably since her outburst at Jacob. Bella could tell she was trying to be friendly, Bella guessed Leah could tell she was uncomfortable.
“Got it.” Bella smiled as she walked out of the shed towards the Black house to order some pizza and get a glass of water.
Bella took deeper calming breaths on her walk up to the house, now that she had some privacy.
It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re with Jake. Jake isn’t going to let anything happen to you, ever. Bella repeated to herself as she worked to unclench her jaw muscles.
Opening the creaky old door and wiping her feet off on the mat, Bella walked into the Black house, taking her shoes off by the door and walking to the kitchen where the phone was located.
She smiled at Billy who seemed to be organizing his ammo or something at the kitchen table. “Hey, I was just going to order us some pizza. Do you want me to order you anything?” Bella asked grabbing the magnet for the pizza place off the fridge.
“Yeah, order me a ham and pineapple. Only way I can eat pizza without Jake stealing it is to put pineapple on it!” Billy smiled at Bella as she dialed.
~
“What the fuck Jake, you let her ride without a helmet?!” Leah snapped as soon as she knew Bella was out of hearing distance.
“First of all, Bella does what she wants, when she wants, good luck telling that girl what to do.” Jake snapped back. “Second, if you don’t get your temper in check she’s not going to give you the time of day. She just got out of an abusive relationship with a fucking vampire, she’s been in therapy for months, she’s not gonna wanna date an angry werewolf with a short fuse.”
Leah breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, imagining her chest filling up with air as she tried to calm her rage at the idea of her imprint being hurt. Jake was right, she had seen it in Bella the second she snapped at Jake. She could smell it, the fear radiating off of Bella’s body. Leah could not scare her imprint off before she even got the chance to ask her out.
Leah tried to remember that Jake was trying to help her. That after he saw Leah’s thoughts about Bella he had offered to help her win over Bella. Jake, who also happened to be her imprint’s best friend. Not to mention her pack mate. She really can’t be angry at him right now. Even though Leah swore to herself that Bella would never ride without a helmet again.
When Bella walked back in carrying a Nalgene bottle of water, Leah’s thoughts immediately went to picking up the petite brunette and setting her down on the work bench to kiss those perfect fucking lips.
Shit. Leah really needed to get herself under control if she wanted Jake’s help in landing the girl of her dreams.
“Pizza’ll be here in 20.” Bella smiled as she walked back to the work bench and pulled herself up to sit exactly where Leah had imagined kissing her seconds ago. Fuck. This girl would be the death of her.
Leah knelt back down to continue working on her bike. She needed to get herself under control, and maybe flexing her arms while she worked on her bike would have some semblance of the effect on Bella that Bella was having on her.
Leah had smelt arousal when Bella first walked in. It’s why she felt cocky enough to make that cringe-worthy dyke comment.
Why the fuck did I say that? To make sure she knew, very clearly, that you’re gay as fuck, that’s why Clearwater.
“So, what are you working on?” Bella asked before taking a few gulps of water from the Nalgene.
Leah couldn’t help but be grateful that her imprint was hydrating. Jake had said she’d been really bad after her breakup, barely eating or drinking anything.
Leah had thought Bella looked too thin at the funeral, and immediately felt this overwhelming rush of needing to feed her imprint, so make sure she’s okay. Not that Bella wasn’t absolutely fucking stunning, she just worried about her imprint’s health.
“Just making her a little faster, gotta make sure I’m the fastest one in the pack at all times.” Leah winked very obviously in Bella’s direction and was so fucking grateful to see a smile grace Bella’s face.
“Unfortunately that’s true, Leah is the fastest one in the pack, by a long shot.” Jake provided, backing up Leah’s point, nothing but sincerity in his voice.
Wow, Jake really was trying to help her out. Leah realized she definitely would owe Jake a million favors if she actually ends up with her imprint.
“Really? That’s so cool!” Bella’s face showed true excitement and admiration for the female wolf. Suddenly Leah found herself full of gratitude that she didn’t have to explain the pack to Bella.
She was grateful that her imprint had dated a vampire and been best friends with Jake, and punched Paul in the face. It meant she already understood the basics and Leah wouldn’t have to hide what she is. Leah was sick of hiding, and she certainly wasn’t going to do it in front of her imprint.
“Yeah, I may be the smallest, but I can out run any of these giants.” Leah boasted proudly, flexing ever so slightly as she worked on her bike, hoping to gain her imprint’s attentions.
“Pizza’s here.” Jake commented standing up to wipe off his hands on a rag.
“I got it.” Leah stood up quickly, waiving off Jake.
“You sure? I can pay.” Bella already had cash in her hand she’d pulled out from somewhere, oh fuck was it her bra, fuck Leah, focus.
“No, I got this.” Leah jogged out to meet the pizza delivery gal by her car. She was cute and blonde and definitely checking Leah out and while a month ago Leah would’ve been ecstatic, now all she cared about was making sure her imprint ate, and that it was Leah providing.
“Thanks, um, my name’s Cassidy, you can always ask for me specifically to deliver.” The cute girl provided after collecting the cash from Leah.
Leah smiled politely as Cassidy got back in her car and drove off.
“Damn girl, you gotta save some girls for the boys ‘round here.” Billy’s voice boomed from the porch.
“The only girl I want is in the shed, Billy.” Leah rolled her eyes at the old man in the wheelchair starting to head back to the shed.
“Hey! One of those is mine!” Billy called after her.
—
Seeing her imprint eat eased Leah’s worries about Bella slightly although she wished Bella would eat more. She barely ate anything compared to Leah and Jake.
“Hey, Sam needs me to meet him over at his and Emily’s place.” Jacob said looking at his phone. “Bella are you good staying here with Leah or do you want to head out?”
Leah kept her mouth shut and waited patiently. The last thing she wanted was her imprint, who was already skeptical of her, to feel forced into staying alone in a shed with her.
“Um, I think I’ll stay here with Leah.” Bella nodded in Jake’s direction after a moment of thought.
“You sure?” Jake’s concern was genuine and it made Leah feel awful. The idea that her imprint might feel unsafe around her made her sick.
“Yep. Besides I have my truck I can drive myself home whenever.” Bella smiled at Jake, her face looked genuine to Leah. She smelled a small amount of hesitancy off her imprint but she didn’t want to make it any worse by saying anything.
“Okay, you girls behave.” Jake remarked as he walked out.
“No promises!” the girls called back in unison. Bella giggled at the chorus of their voices but Leah was just filled with confirmation that yes, this is her soulmate.
Slow your roll Clearwater, you haven’t even asked her out yet.
“Ya know, Jake speaks really highly of you.” Leah remarked wanting to avoid any potential awkward silences.
“Yeah, he definitely thinks more highly of me than I do myself.” Bella remarked, rolling her eyes.
There she goes again. Putting herself down. Fuck Leah wished she would stop doing that. No one insults her imprint, including her imprint.
“Why do you say that? From what I can tell you’re an absolute bad ass. You found those bikes to fix and you moved to the Pacific Northwest in the middle of the school year, in high school, starting over, and from what Jake has told me you’ve put a shit ton of work into yourself these past few months.” Leah couldn’t believe this girl couldn’t see how special she was.
The surprise on Bella’s face at Leah’s compliments frustrated her. Leah suddenly made a promise to herself to compliment this girl so much every single day that she never has time to think poorly of herself again.
“Well, thank you,” Bella smiled shyly, pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her freezing cold hands.
“I’m sure you know all about my breakup and my depression and my therapy and my realizing how abusive my ex was. I’m only now realizing that every single thing I tell Jake, I’m basically telling the whole pack.” Bella’s face looked embarrassed from the admission.
“Yeah, secrets don’t really work in a pack.” Leah said standing up to walk over to Bella, leaning up against the bench next to where Bella was perched. “But hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, every single thing I learn about you, I’m just more impressed.”
As Bella’s embarrassment turned to genuine joy, Leah felt her whole body relax. She’d pleased her imprint. Yes. Finally. This is what she’d been trying to do.
“Thank you. That’s really sweet of you.” Bella smiling in Leah’s direction was quickly becoming Leah’s favorite thing in the world.
“Hey, so, now that I actually have you alone for a minute, I’m wondering if you would like to join me for dinner and a movie sometime this week?” The words came out before Leah even realized she was saying them. Apparently her brain couldn’t handle waiting another second.
In the brief moment of time between Leah’s asking and Bella’s response, it felt like Leah’s heart stopped.
“I’d love to.” Bella’s smile and scent told Leah that yes, she actually did, in fact, want to go on a date with Leah Clearwater, freak of nature, resident lesbian of the Quileute tribe. “Could we go Thursday night? Weekend crowds kind of stress me out.” Bella’s question broke Leah from her shock.
“Yeah, absolutely, Thursday night, it’s a date.” Leah could barely keep her cool as Bella handed Leah her phone. “Put your number in, and then I’ll text you and we can figure out details.”
It took all of Leah’s focus to program her number in Bella’s phone. She said YES.
As soon as Leah was done Bella hopped off the work bench. “Well, I should probably head back home. Don’t want to stay out too late and worry the old man. So, I’ll see you Thursday?”
The look of hope and joy and kindness in Bella’s eyes made it practically impossible for Leah not to kiss her goodbye. “See you Thursday.” Leah smiled back.
“Rad. Well, good luck with your bike. Hopefully I can take you up on that riding lesson sometime.” Bella remarked as she walked back to her truck.
Leah was too stunned to respond but did manage a wave once Bella was in her truck and backing out of the driveway.
~
“I don’t KNOW. I’m terrified that I’m making the same mistakes again over a hot girl. Like, what if she’s just as abusive as Edward and she’s just faking being nice so she can abuse me once I trust her? What if she’s worse? What if she hits me and I go backwards on all the progress I’ve made?” Bella verbalized every word of anxiety to her therapist, Jane.
“Well, first things first, you know more now than you did before you started dating Edward.” Bella nodded in agreement as her therapist comforted her.
“I’m not going to lie to you, abuse is just as common in same sex couples as opposite sex couples, but you are stronger now. You have me. You have Charlie. You have Jake. You have a whole support system who will help you at the first sign of trouble.” Jane’s words caused a sense of calm of wash over Bella as she let our a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
“Trust your gut. You got this. But take separate cars to the date so you can leave whenever you need to.” Jane said the last comment with a smile but Bella knew it was actually really good advice for her anxiety.
Bella wanted to tell Jane that she didn’t know if she could trust her gut because her gut is telling her to take off all her clothes and climb Leah like a tree. But Bella wasn’t ready to say that out loud. She was still coming to terms with her attraction to women. Thinking it and verbalizing it were two very different things.
—
“Hey dad, I have to talk to you about something.” Bella sat down next to Charlie on the couch. She’d strategically waited until a commercial break during the Mariners game to sit down.
“Shoot.” Charlie muted the tv to give his daughter his undivided attention.
“So, I kind of have a date on Thursday.” Bella knew Charlie would appreciate her not beating around the bush.
”Oh yeah? With who?” Charlie’s voice was less than enthused at the idea of his daughter dating again.
“Leah Clearwater.” Bella held her breath waiting for her dad’s reaction.
She could see her dad’s shoulder relax at the name. “Oh, you girls gonna go shopping or something?” Bella realized her dad wasn’t actually grasping the concept.
“No, Dad. I’m going on a date, with Leah. We’re going to dinner and a movie. It’s a date.” Bella answered with confidence Jane had told her to use.
“Like, as friends?” Charlie’s confusion was genuine.
“No, Dad. As a date. She likes me and I like her and we’re going out, on Thursday night.” Bella repeated calmly, hoping her dad would understand.
For several moments Charlie sat quietly. The Mariners were back on but the tv remained muted. Bella couldn’t tell if he was watching the game and ignoring her or just processing.
Right when Bella was about to ask if he was okay, she heard her Dad clear her throat. “So...does this mean you like girls?” Charlie’s question was genuine.
“Yes, I do.” Bella remained confident and calm, as Jane had told her. She can’t control other people’s reactions, and their opinions do not define her worth. Still, the idea of her father’s rejection was terrifying.
It was another moment of silence before Charlie turned to Bella and softly sighed “Well, at least I don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant anymore.” Charlie smiled. Bella’s muscles relaxed as she realized this was her dad’s way of saying he didn’t care if she dated girls.
Bella hugged her dad tightly, something that had become a more common occurrence since Harry’s funeral. “I love you Dad.” Bella sighed into the hug.
“I love you too, kiddo.” Charlie’s voice full of love before changing to Dad mode. “She still has to have you home by 10 and if this keeps going I need to have a talk with her that just because I don’t have jurisdiction on the reservation doesn’t mean I won’t hold back in protecting my daughter.”
“Absolutely.” Bella smiled. This was so much easier. It was already so much easier to talk to Charlie about Leah than it had been about Edward. She didn’t have anything to hide with Leah. Well, except the whole wolf thing. But she didn’t have anything to be ashamed of with Leah.
Leah was only one year older than Bella, which was 90 less than the age gap between her and Edward. It still gave Bella the creeps when she thinks about it too hard, how she was basically molested by an old man.
Leah was Charlie’s best friend’s daughter. No secret creepy family to hide, it was the Clearwaters, Charlie’s favorite people.
Most of all Leah wasn’t constantly resisting the urge to murder Bella. Which, it’s insane how much easier that is when it comes to dating.
—
Hey, so, I would be more comfortable if we drove separately to the restaurant and theater.
Bella texted Leah on Tuesday night, her whole body clenched in anxiety awaiting Leah’s response.
Of course. Whatever you want.
The text lit up Bella’s phone immediately. She breathed a sigh of relief. Okay, first test passed. She respected Bella’s boundary without question. She also let Bella set the boundaries instead of forcing them upon her.
However she knew too well that even if things start out good, they can turn sour later. Abusers do that. They pretend to be good until you trust them, that’s when they can really hurt you. Bella tried not to make herself sick with worry whether she was ready for another relationship. It was just a date. Just one date. She could handle a date.
—
Bella bit her lip as she sat in her study period contemplating whether she should be honest with Leah or not. Leah was a girl too, she had to understand. Fuck it.
Bella began typing.
Hey...so I know you made reservations at that seafood place, but, I started my period today and I’m really just craving a burger. Would you hate me if we just went to the diner before the movie instead?
Leah didn’t respond immediately which sent Bella into a spiral. Bella tried to focus on her studying but she was a few months away from graduation and was already aceing all of her classes, she was basically just skating by until graduation at this point, she didn’t actually need to study.
After a solid 20 minutes imagining every possible way Leah would cancel their date she looked down at her phone to realize Leah had sent five texts in the last 10 minutes.
Of course.
Are you sure you still want to go tonight? We can postpone.
I won’t be mad, at all.
And I could never hate you.
Honestly I would rather go to the diner and get a burger also, so yes, 100%, I’m in.
Bella breathed a sigh of relief as she realized again, she didn’t need to worry about Leah getting mad at her for having opinions and setting boundaries. Leah wasn’t Edward.
I still want to go! Maybe not to the movie, though? Can we just go to the diner and then play it by ear?
Bella responded, only slightly anxious at again changing their plans.
She didn’t have to wait for Leah’s response this time.
Yes. Of course.
Bella smiled. Now she just had to figure out what the hell to wear now because she wasn’t putting on tights when she already had cramps, that’s for sure.
—
Bella stood in front of her closet assessing her options of what to wear that wouldn’t make her any more uncomfortable than she already was. She didn’t want to show up like a schlub but the idea of putting on jeans or tights in this moment felt like hell.
Another cramp started up in her abdomen forcing Bella to lay down on her bed to ride it out. She knew her anxiety over her date with Leah was making it worse but she didn’t want to cancel. She was excited. On the brink of a panic attack, but excited.
As her cramp started to subside, Bella realized that yes, jeans and tights were not an option. She could wear a dress without tights, but she hadn’t shaved her legs and also she didn’t want to freeze to death. Or worse, the wind blow her skirt up to show off her period stained underwear.
No, it had to be leggings. It was the only option that didn’t make Bella want to puke at the idea of putting them on. The leggings she had worn to school had some kind of food crusted on her thigh so Bella grabbed her nice, soft, fleece lined ones from her dresser.
She also grabbed one of her cuter but still baggy t-shirts. Bella decided she could layer some necklaces over it to make it look like she wasn’t actually showing up to her date in pajamas. Finally she decided on a long chunky burgundy cardigan to finish her outfit.
She desperately wanted to wear her Uggs and the idea of wearing anything else make Bella cold just thinking about it, but she knew then she would really be showing up in her pajamas. No, she had to wear real shoes. Deciding on her combat boots, Bella grabbed not one but two pairs of fuzzy socks to wear under them. Dress Uggs, she proudly thought to herself placing everything on the bed to get ready.
Glancing at the clock she realized she had to leave in ten minutes if she didn’t want to be late. The hour and a half she had spent laying in bed clutching her stomach while her uterus felt like it was ripping itself to shreds really fucked up her whole getting cute plans.
Turning on her curling iron, Bella dressed as quickly as she possibly could while it heated up. After she was dressed, Bella quickly curled the ends of her hair, taming some of the frizz before grabbing some necklaces to dress up her very comfy outfit. Turning off her curling iron, Bella grabbed her tubes of mascara and lip gloss to apply in the truck before rushing down the stairs to leave.
“Bye Dad, I’m headed out for my date!” Bella yelled, pulling on her coat and zipping it up.
“Wait, Leah isn’t picking you up?” Charlie walked in from the kitchen holding a beer with a confused look on his face.
“No, I told her I was gonna meet her there, that way if I’m uncomfortable at any point I can come straight home and don’t have to worry about her giving me a ride.” Bella smiled in reassurance at her dad.
Charlie nodded and smiled at Bella’s answer. “Okay, well, your curfew is still 10, it’s still a school night.”
“Promise Dad, I’ve got my phone and you’ve got Leah’s number too.” Bella assured her dad pulling her purse over her shoulder.
Charlie nodded again in confirmation and Bella walked over to hug him goodbye. A more common occurrence in their household since Harry’s funeral. Ever since then Bella felt the need to give her dad as many hugs as she could while she still can. Which hopefully would be for a very long time.
Charlie stayed quiet as he hugged Bella back. He was grateful for this new tradition they had of hugging goodbye.
Bella removed herself from the hug pulling her keys off the hook. “I love you Dad, 10 o’clock.”
“10 o’clock” Charlie repeated as he watched Bella leave through the front door, silently praying she wouldn’t come back home crying.
-
While Bella drove to the diner in Forks she went over the list of red flags her and her therapist had put together at their last session. Going over and over it in her head to be sure she wouldn’t forget any of them once she was distracted by how attractive Leah is.
“You’re stronger now. You’re wiser now. You’re braver now.” Bella chanted to herself out loud as she saw the diner come into view. “You’re stronger. You’re wiser. You’re braver. You’re stronger. You’re wiser. You’re braver.” It was the mantra she had come up with to help reassure her that she could do this. She could date again. That dating again didn’t mean more abuse, and if it headed that way again, she could and would leave before she got the chance to slide backwards.
She couldn’t. Not after all the progress she’d made.
When Bella pulled into the diner parking lot she saw Leah was already there, leaning up against her bike. Fuck she was hot. She was in black jeans, black shirt, black leather jacket and her motorcycle boots. Her hair looked like it had been smashed down her helmet as it didn’t have its normal volume but Leah had clearly fluffed it back up the best she could. Bella saw that Leah had a bouquet of pink flowers and a small paper gift bag sitting on the back of her bike.
Bella smiled when she made eye contact with Leah, that warm feeling shooting through her core again and for a brief moment she forgot her uterus was trying to kill her.
Parking her truck in the space next to Leah’s bike, she smiled as she held up her finger signaling for Leah to wait one moment. Bella quickly grabbed the mascara and lip gloss out of her pocket rushing to swipe a decent amount of both on before hopping out of the truck to greet Leah.
“Wow. You look beautiful.” Leah smiled at Bella meeting her eyes as that warm feeling shot through Bella’s core once again. Suddenly the idea of period sex didn’t sound so revolting and actually sounded like the best idea in the world at that moment.
Fuck. Say something. Bella thought before finally letting out a very lame “You too!” Oh my gosh. What the fuck Bella. She doesn’t look beautiful. She looks stunning. She looks like she isn’t real she’s so fucking hot oh my gosh.
Leah smiled and gave a sincere “thank you” before handing the flowers to Bella.
“Oh my gosh. Thank you. These are beautiful.” Bella smiled, taking the flowers out of Leah’s hands and pulling them to her chest. Leah then handed Bella the small brown paper gift bag.
“I asked Jake what your favorite chocolates were and he said those. He didn’t know if you preferred Advil or Tylenol so I got both just in case.” Leah explained and Bella glanced in the bag to see her favorites, Reese’s Cups and Ferrero Rocher next to a bottle of Tylenol and a bottle of Advil. The name brand and everything.
Bella smiled at the very sweet and thoughtful gesture. “Thank you, so much, these are perfect.”
Bella opened up her truck door to place her flowers on the seat so she didn’t have to carry them into the diner. “Hey, do you wanna put your helmet in here while we eat?” Bella asked, having noticed Leah holding her motorcycle helmet in her hand.
“Yeah, that would be great actually, thank you.” Leah said stepping up to place her helmet next to Bella’s flowers on the seat. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Bella smiled back.
Bella locked up her truck and they headed across the parking lot towards the diner. Bella caught a whiff of Leah’s scent and felt the warmth shoot to her core again. Is that cologne? Perfume? Or is that just hot wolf girl scent?
Bella was too caught up trying to identify the smell she didn’t realize Leah was rushing ahead to hold open the door of the diner for an elderly couple who were leaving. They politely thanked Leah and Bella smiled at the kind gesture, stepping inside the warm cozy diner.
Bella felt the tall Clearwater girl follow her inside. Leah’s presence wasn’t intimidating, it was comforting and Bella was scared about how much she liked it. She felt Leah’s large warm hand on her lower back, the heat instantly soothing her sore muscles and Bella’s whole body relaxed. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding in.
Bella’s eyes snapped open as the waitress behind the counter yelled to them “Sit anywhere you want! I’ll be there in a minute!”
Crashing back to reality Bella turned to Leah and asked “Where do you wanna sit?”
“Wherever makes you the most comfortable.” Leah smiled back down at the petite brunette.
Bella smiled at Leah once again letting her make the decisions. Whether she was doing it consciously or not, Bella appreciated Leah not showing any need for control.
~
Bella led Leah to a booth along the far window, a little further away from the regulars around the counter.
Throwing her purse into the booth and taking off her jacket to throw on top of it, Bella pushed up the sleeves of her cardigan and sat across from Leah, who had taken off her leather jacket and was sitting in just a simple black t-shirt that looked so soft. Under one of the sleeves Bella saw a black armband tattoo on Leah’s bicep that definitely wasn’t there the other day in the garage.
“You got a new tattoo?” Bella asked, reaching across the table to pull up Leah’s sleeve. Oh my gosh it’s softer than I imagined.
“Yeah, for my dad.” Leah smiled at Bella’s forwardness. Suddenly Bella’s fingers were running across her new tattoo and Leah’s whole body felt like it was on fire. Her imprints fingers were so small and so fucking soft and delicate holy shit they felt so good on her skin. Leah’s eyes closed praying Bella would never stop touching her.
“It looks really good. Really shows off how strong your arms are.” Bella’s fingers gliding across her skin while she complimented Leah’s strength making her inner wolf preen.
“I think Harry would like it.” Bella smiled pulling her arms back to herself and Leah was able to open her eyes again. Her desire to reach across the table and just kiss her beautiful imprint was something she needed to get under control. Leah had already decided she was going to let Bella make the first move. After whatever that asshole blood sucker had put her through, she wanted to make sure Bella knew she had complete control and Leah wasn’t going to do anything without her consent.
Before Leah could respond their waitress appeared, placing two ice waters and two menus on the table.
“Can I get you two anything to drink besides water?” the older woman in the flannel shirt and jeans asked the girls not making eye contact as she pulled out her notepad.
“Can I get a Coke please?” Bella asked sweetly, smiling up at their server.
“Of course, and for you?” Leah realized it was her turn to speak, still trying to calm down from Bella touching her.
“Just water is fine.” Leah definitely needed it to cool off.
“And do you two need a minute or do you know what you want?”
“I’m ready!” Bella declared proudly, turning her eyes to Leah “do you know or do you need a minute?” her imprint asked kindly.
“I can be ready if you go first,” Leah answered, opening the menu.
“Can I please have the bacon cheeseburger, medium well, with colby jack, and fries on the side please?” Bella ordered quickly not giving Leah much time at all to look over the menu.
“And for you?”
“Um,” Leah glanced at the menu again in mild panic. “The same, but do you have pepper jack cheese?”
“Yes we do.” their waitress responded jotting down their orders.
“Then can I have the same but can I have it rare with pepper jack please?” Leah found herself sounding more confident than she felt. Bella made her nervous like no one else had before.
“Sounds good, I’ll have that right out for you ladies.” their waitress took their menus and headed back to the kitchen.
Before Leah could even think of something to say Bella beat her to it. “Thank you again, for the chocolate and pain killers and flowers, that was really sweet.”
If Leah thought her wolf was preening before, now it was going crazy at having pleased her imprint. Bella smiling at her across the table with her eyes shining like that made Leah feel really, really good for the first time she lost her dad.
—
From there the conversation ran smoothly, as the two girls ate their burgers. They talked about Seth & Sue and how everyone was dealing with their grief. They talked about Bella’s concern about Charlie losing his best friend.
For such heavy topics they didn’t feel heavy, they felt as easy as talking about the weather. Leah had been struggling more than she’d like to admit since her father passed, and it was nice to talk about it with someone who didn’t have a look of pity in their eyes the entire time.
Leah also was grateful to see Bella quickly finish her burger and move on to her fries. She wanted Bella to eat. She still looked too thin to Leah, especially after all Jake had told her about Bella’s spiral after her breakup.
Leah doubted she’d ever agreed to anything faster than when Bella asked if she wanted to stay for pie after their burgers. Watching her tiny imprint eat lowered Leah’s anxiety. Leah was grateful Bella didn’t feel the need to eat a salad or some other bullshit in front of her. Bella clearly felt comfortable enough with her to be honest about her period and what she really wanted.
Suddenly the plans Leah had made to take Bella to a fancy seafood restaurant felt stupid. Bella was clearly in her comfort zone in the diner and felt safe enough to be vulnerable with Leah. Which was all the wolf girl wanted.
“So, I kind of came out to my dad this week.” Bella said as they waited for their slices of pie.
“You did? How did it go?” Leah suddenly felt fear and anger rushing through her at the possibility of Charlie not accepting their relationship.
“Really well actually.” Bella smiled as their waitress silently placed their slices of pie in front of them. “I mean, he was a little confused at first and we didn’t really have a long discussion about it, like we didn’t talk about my bisexuality or anything, I just told him I like girls and that we were going on a date and he was really cool about it.”
Leah felt relief rush through her body.
“That’s awesome.” Leah smiled at her imprint as Bella dug into her massive slice of apple pie.
~
“Yeah, I mean, I still haven’t told my mom yet, but that’ll be a way longer conversation that I’m not ready for quite yet.” Bella sighed thinking of how to explain herself to her boy crazy mother.
“Always knew I liked Charlie.” Leah smiled before taking a massive forkful of pie. Bella was grateful for Leah sensing her anxiety at talking about her mom and redirecting the conversation.
“Yeah he’s kind of the best.” Bella smiled thinking of her dad. “What about you? If you don’t mind me asking. Were you able to come out to your dad before he passed?” Bella shoved another huge bite of pie in her mouth to stop herself from talking while she waited for Leah to answer.
“Yeah, actually I was. I told my parents a little over a year ago. They weren’t exactly surprised, in fact I believe their exact words were ‘What took you so long?’” Leah smiled at the memory of her dad.
Bella snickered at Leah’s words, putting her hand in front of her mouth to make sure no pie came out with her laugh. Bella couldn’t remember the last time she felt this at ease.
-
Leah paid for their dinner while Bella was in the bathroom. Bella had rolled her eyes when she realized what happened but didn’t argue. She was feeling light years better than she had a few hours ago. Her cramps were barely a thought in her mind. Probably thanks to the Tylenol and full stomach, but also a little bit thanks to Leah.
As they walked out of the diner, Bella felt Leah’s large warm hand on her lower back again. The heat Leah radiated instantly soothing her sore back. Bella had to bite back a moan at how good Leah’s hand felt on her.
The wolf girl was like this giant heating pad that never lost its heat and was also insanely sexy. Bella realized “sexy heating pad” was probably not a phrase she should ever say out loud, no matter how true it was.
Leah opened the door of the diner for Bella with her right hand, her left never leaving Bella’s back. It was insanely impressive to Bella how smooth and graceful Leah was. Bella was pretty sure if she had tried to open the door for someone one handed while touching them she’d be an awkward disaster and probably end up accidentally tripping or hitting someone. Bella was grateful mostly because she never wanted Leah to stop touching her.
The blast of cold air from outside hit Bella instantly and she instinctively leaned into Leah’s warmth as they stepped into the parking lot.
Leah welcomed Bella leaning into her side and moved her hand to Bella’s hip, holding her imprint closely to her side. Jake had made a comment about how Bella hated the rain and the cold. Leah had never been more grateful to live in the Pacific Northwest, if it guaranteed a solid 10 months of the year where her imprint would be glued to her side for warmth. Leah would gladly keep Bella warm every minute of every day. Fuck she’d move to Alaska if it meant Bella would cling to her for warmth all year round.
Leah was secretly praying this wasn’t the end of the night. She knew Bella didn’t feel well and wouldn’t push her to do anything she didn’t want to but suddenly the idea of holding Bella like this through an entire movie sounded like the greatest thing in the world.
“So…” Bella started cautiously as they reached her truck. “Do you still wanna go see that movie?”
Earlier the idea of sitting through a movie sounded like hell to Bella but now with Leah holding her, it sounded like the opposite of hell.
“Only if you want to.” Leah’s reply came quickly, releasing Bella from her side. Once again leaving the decision up to Bella. Not wanting to force her imprint into anything that could make her uncomfortable.
“Yeah, um,” Bella leaned her back against the door of her truck, pulling the sleeves of her sweater down over hands now that she was separated from Leah’s warmth.
Both of them turned their eyes to their boots, too nervous to look each other in the eye. To anyone looking at the pair from the outside, it was painfully obvious they were a pair of teenagers on a first date.
Bella realized she’d been staring at her shoes for too long contemplating her options. It wasn’t that the silence was uncomfortable, the opposite in fact, it was that Bella was scared at how badly she didn’t want the night to end.
“I…I think, yes….yes, I want to go to the movie.” Bella found her confidence by the end of the sentence. She lifted her head to see Leah’s eyes filled with kindness and patience. Leah wasn’t showing any signs of frustration at Bella’s indecision.
The look Leah was giving her confirmed Bella’s decision that yes, she did want to spend a few more hours with this insanely hot wolf girl.
“Okay, well,” Leah pulled her phone out of her pocket to look at the time. “It starts in 20 minutes so we should probably head over.”
Bella nodded in agreement, pulling her keys out of her purse and turning to unlock her truck. She reached inside, grabbing Leah’s helmet and handing it to her silently. It was her way of silently reminding Leah that Bella still needed them to drive separately.
The taller girl smiled as she accepted her helmet from Bella. “I’ll meet you there.” Leah’s response once again confirmed to Bella that she got to set the pace and that Leah would follow without complaint.
Bella breathed a sigh of relief she didn’t realize she was holding in as Leah walked towards her bike.
Moving the flowers to the passenger side, after briefly smelling them once more and smiling to herself, Bella started her old truck’s loud engine. The vibrations from the engine soothing her anxiety. The heat coming through the vents soothing her further.
As Bella began to back out of the parking space and head towards the street, she saw Leah start her bike and follow behind her. Once again following Bella’s lead.
—
By the time they walked into the theater, most of the seats were already full. It definitely looked like a sold out showing. There were only a few pairs of open seats next to each other.
Bella pointed to the two open seats in the far corner of the front row, turning to ask Leah if those were okay. Before Bella could ask, Leah was nodding in agreement at Bella’s choice of seats and let Bella lead the way.
Once again pulling her sweater to cover her hands, Bella regretted not bringing a blanket to the theater. She knew it was always freezing in here, no matter what time of year it was. Even packed full of people, it was still too cold for Bella.
Taking their seats next to each other, Bella contemplated if it would be too forward to ask Leah to hold her again like she had in the parking lot. She didn’t want to be shivering before the trailers even started but she also didn’t want to freak Leah out by asking to cuddle. It was still their first date.
Bella felt her muscles starting to tense at the cold, her abdomen once again seizing in cramps. Deciding it was better to be too forward than to be in pain, Bella lifted the arm rest between them, grateful they’d decided to forgo the concessions.
“Would you mind….” Bella looked down at her hands, pulling further at her sleeves and bunching them in her fists. “It’s just my cramps are coming back and it’s freezing in here and you’re like this human heating pad and-“
Leah cut off Bella’s rambling, shaking her head. “I don’t mind at all.”
Bella’s shoulders relaxed at the calm affirmation from Leah. Once again Bella was surprised at how calm she felt around this girl. It was like Leah squashed her anxiety before it could even manifest.
“Hold on,” Leah leaned forward to take off her leather jacket, her biceps flexing as she did so and Bella once again was drawn to the tattoo on the Clearwater girl’s arm. “C’mere.”
Leah lifted her arm to reach around Bella’s shoulders. She placed her leather jacket over Bella’s front side like a blanket before pulling the smaller girl into her side.
Bella instantly melted into Leah’s side. The heat radiating from Leah’s body and insulated by the jacket immediately made the sting of the theater’s cold air disappear.
Resting her head in the space between Leah’s neck and shoulder, Bella allowed her muscles to relax. First lowering her shoulders as she leaned further into Leah’s chest so she could see the screen.
Bella was no longer cold but she felt herself wanting more, wishing Leah’s large hand was sprawled across her stomach to soothe her ever persistent cramping abdominals.
The lights lowered as the trailers began and the newfound darkness of the theater gave Bella the courage she required. Lifting her head to whisper in Leah’s ear she closed her eyes in embarrassment at what she was about to ask. “Would you….mind, maybe putting your hand on my stomach?”
“Of course.” Lead whispered back immediately, moving her arm down from Bella’s shoulder to wrap around Bella’s tiny waist. Her massive hand and long fingers spanned across what felt like Bella’s entire stomach. The heat quickly soothing Bella’s abdominal muscles, resulting in her melting into Leah’s body even more than she already was.
Bella closed her eyes, settling into the cocoon of warmth Leah had created for her. She was vaguely listening to trailers but Bella was more focused on the strong steady rhythm of Leah’s heartbeat.
—
Bella heard a loud explosion coming from the speakers as she realized where she was. Clearly closing her eyes had resulted in her falling asleep.
Bella slowly took notice of Leah’s fingertips gently stroking her thigh. In her sleep Bella had somehow pulled her knees up to rest in Leah’s lap. While Leah’s right hand was still firmly wrapped around her waist with her hand sprawled across Bella’s stomach, the other was gently holding Bella’s legs in place.
She was hot. Too hot.
Bella pulled down the leather jacket to let the cold air hit her as she struggled to fully come back to consciousness. She’d slept hard and the climax of the film had definitely woken her mid-rem cycle. That was the hardest she’d slept since her breakup with Edward.
The reality of where she was began to hit her as well as the fact that she had fallen asleep, in public, in the lap of the insanely hot wolf girl, on their first date, before the trailers even started. She couldn’t decide if she should pretend to still be asleep or extricate herself and actually put her body in her own seat.
Before Bella could pull herself away, Leah gently squeezed her in a light hug, reassuring Bella that she didn’t need to pull away. “Don’t worry, you weren’t snoring.” Leah whispered into the top of her head, her lips grazing Bella’s hair in an almost-kiss.
Bella sighed in relief and smiled to herself that Leah had answered her question without even needing to ask. She lifted her head to whisper in Leah’s ear, “I’m sorry.” Bella blushed as she turned her face towards the screen. It was clearly the final battle of the film and Bella had no idea what was going on or who she was rooting for.
“I’m not.” Leah whispered back, sending that same shot of electricity straight to Bella’s core.
Taking that as permission to continue cuddling her wolf girl, Bella nestled back into Leah’s chest. Closing her eyes she settled herself back into her previous position. She wasn’t going to fall back asleep but she was going to soak up every second of this she could before the movie was over. The soft strokes of Leah’s fingers on her thigh soothing her.
Suddenly it wasn’t just Leah’s left hand but also her right hand began softly stroking Bella’s stomach. More specifically her lower abdomen. Dangerously close to where Bella desperately wanted Leah to touch her.
The electricity and warmth shot through her core again, stronger this time. Bella could feel herself getting wet, and it wasn’t just her period. Her breathing became faster and more frantic as her legs began to tingle as she felt herself getting turned on, and quickly.
Bella was used to waking up wet and touching herself. Her therapist said it was normal and lots of people were aroused when they first woke up. But this wasn’t her normal level of arousal. This was far more intense. More intense than anything she’d ever felt with Edward.
Leah’s fingers kept their gentle leisurely pace along her stomach and Bella felt herself growing more turned on by the second. She desperately wanted to press her legs together to give her some relief but she didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that she was getting very wet from such a simple touch.
Before she knew it the theater lights were being brightened as the credits began to roll on the screen. Leah’s hand stopped their torturous movements as people began to get up and move around them.
Bella opened her eyes and detached herself from her compromising position and sat upright in her seat, handing Leah her jacket that she’d accidentally pushed on the floor in her efforts to cool down.
She grabbed her purse that she’d stored under the seat as she tried to get her breathing to return to normal.
“I’m really sorry I fell asleep.” Bella emphasized once again, tucking her hair behind her ear. Too nervous to make direct eye contact.
“Don’t be, I’m just glad you felt safe enough to fall asleep.” Leah’s voice was nothing but sincere. Bella lifted her head to meet Leah’s gaze and found that same look of kindness and patience she’d seen earlier. “You ready to go?”
Bella nodded in affirmation. As she stood up she felt wobbly, like her arousal was impairing her ability to walk. She needed to calm down. “Do you mind if I use the restroom before we leave?”
“Of course, you don’t need to ask my permission to use the bathroom.” Leah almost sounded amused at Bella’s need to ask.
That response from Leah instantly made Bella realize she was still constantly asking permission and apologizing. Side effects of her abusive relationship. Her nagging intrusive thoughts rushed to her mind. That she was still broken and skittish. That nobody wants to date the abused puppy. That she’ll never be in a healthy relationship until she’s confident in herself.
Briefly shaking her head to try and clear the painful statements, Bella rushed ahead to the bathroom. She needed to splash some cold water on her face immediately.
—