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︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶˗ˋ ୨୧ˊ˗︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶
Theo watched Intak laugh with a group of friends huddled around him. His laughter was infectious and his smile was brighter than the summer lights on the terrace. Intak's effortless warmth had always drawn Theo to it.
Theo couldn't quite put a finger on the underlying restlessness that came with that brightness. Intak looked like he was looking for something he couldn't find.
All seemed well at first. They met through mutual friends, and their connection was immediate but not overwhelming. Intak drew Theo in a way that was unsettling, wanting to understand the puzzle that was the other boy's life.
Normally, he could read people well, but Intak was different. Always shifting, his eyes held something just out of reach, a missing piece.
After catching Theo's eye for just a moment, Intak looked away, his smile folding for a moment. Suddenly, Theo felt a bang in his chest, a pain he couldn't put into words.
It's like Intak couldn't see what was right in front of him. What was it about Theo that felt like he was constantly fighting for his attention?
︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶˗ˋ ୨୧ˊ˗︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶
It was like a taut string about to snap between them, and Theo could feel the tension building. Intak would talk about his latest fling, the girls who flocked to him, and Theo would force a smile, bitterness rising in his throat.
Though Theo wasn't looking to change Intak, he couldn't help but wish he'd looked at what was real, what was right there.
One night, as they sat in Theo's room, the dim light casting long shadows across the walls, Intak confessed, "She's nice, but something's missing.
As he clenched his fists, the words on the tip of his tongue rang in his ears. There's something missing right here next to you, he wanted to say, but instead he bit his lip and stayed silent. Keeping quiet, swallowing his feelings, hoping one day Intak would notice was a pattern he was all too familiar with.
However, he never did. It's possible he didn't. To keep things light, to avoid the messy, complicated emotions beneath the surface, it was easier. As Intak's friend, Theo was never the focus; he was just one of many.
︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶˗ˋ ୨୧ˊ˗︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶
An evening, after another of Intak's casual dates, Theo couldn't hold it any longer. There was this girl Intak had met, her laugh, her clothing, her taste in music. He had been rambling about her. It was all over for Theo.
"Do you care about these girls? Or are they just another distraction?" His voice came out harsher than he intended. He was frustrated and hurt.
Intak froze, his expression shifting from surprise to something he couldn't read. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Theo breathed deeply, his heart pounding. "You're always looking for something, someone, but you don't see what's right before your eyes. You don't see me."
They hung heavy and suffocating in the air. For a moment, Theo saw Intak's eyes widen, and a flicker of something-recognition, maybe even fear-flickered before disappearing.
As Intak's voice trailed off, his usual confidence replaced with uncertainty, he apologised.
As he shook his head, he felt the familiar ache in his chest. "It's you, Intak. You never realize it. You're always chasing what you think you want, never seeing what you already have."
︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶˗ˋ ୨୧ˊ˗︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶
They were separated by a tension for days, a distance neither could bridge. It was too late for Theo to move on, to bury his feelings once again. Leaving wasn't an option.
A night later, Intak showed up at Theo's door with his usual bright smile replaced with a nervous expression.
"I've been thinking about what you said," Intak started, his voice quiet. "You're right. I was so focused on what I thought I should want that I missed what I already had."
As hope and fear warred within him, Theo's heart skipped a beat. "And what do you see now?"
As Intak approached, his hand extended to take Theo's. "I see you, Theo. And I’m sorry it took me so long."
It was a simple, almost understated confession, but it was enough. Slowly, the pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place, easing the tightness in Theo's chest. For the first time in his life, Intak focused only on Theo, and for the first time Theo felt seen.
︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶˗ˋ ୨୧ˊ˗︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶
The two of them navigated the new territory carefully, both aware of how fragile it still was. Nonetheless, they had a new understanding, a focus on each other they hadn't had before.
Still, Intak had his moments of doubt, his restlessness would surface, but Theo was patient. Like Theo, Intak was just figuring things out, not emotionally unavailable.
When Theo looked at Intak one evening, his heart swelled with something he hadn't felt in a while: contentment.
He caught Intak's gaze and smiled, this time fully focused on Theo.
It was the first time Theo didn't feel like another friend in the background. Intak's attention was on him, and nothing stood between them.
︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶˗ˋ ୨୧ˊ˗︶︶ 𝆹𝅥 ︶︶
"Who's the cliché, who's the clown? Which one's me, which one's you? Either way, it's true. Wish you'd focus on what's in front of you right now."
NIKI - Focus