Chapter Text
Someone had laid out clean clothes in the changing room, and Cassius toweled himself dry and dressed in them as quickly as his state allowed.
Antony watched him silently, though he didn't offer to help again. Did he sense it too?, Cassius thought. Perhaps it was pointless, after all moments ago Antony'd had his cock in his hand, but they couldn't escape it.
Upstairs, dusk was falling, creating long shadows on the floor. Cassius was so distracted by his conflicting emotions that he almost flinched when suddenly, Curius was before him.
"There you are. Did Antonius behave himself?"
"Antonius extended his guest-friendship to us. You should be thanking him, not give yourself over to needless speculation.", Cassius said, but there was no anger behind it.
"Forgive me, but you only had dinner with armed guards a few days ago. He's your enemy."
So everyone keeps saying, Cassius thought. And wouldn't he be a fool not to listen to them?
"How is the situation?", he asked, forgoing it all for now.
"The crowds are still rioting. Draco and the others went with back to your house, but I wanted to wait to make sure you didn't get yourself killed."
"Your efforts are noted.", Cassius said, half in sarcasm. "But we didn't survive Carrhae just so I could be afraid of Marcus Antonius."
"That's why you have me then, so I can see the danger for you."
Cassius sighed and clapped him on the shoulder. "Thank you, Curius."
"Quite the speech he gave.", Curius said in the direction of Antony, who had emerged from the baths and had joined them.
Antony pretended to be unbothered. "I'm glad you liked it. I will now show your patron to a room where he can rest, if that is permissible."
"I will guard the door.", Curius insisted.
Cassius shook his head. "That won't be necessary. You're not a body slave."
Finally, Curius agreed to stay in the next room just down the hall, and from there Cassius was led to the other chamber, all by Antony who seemed endlessly patient with everything, though he was holding something back.
Cassius laid down on the fresh sheets, while Antony lit two oil lamps on the table. Cassius saw the illuminated maritime scenes on the wall before closing his eyes. He was exhausted.
"Sleep.", Antony said. "I'll wake you when it's time."
Time to what?, Cassius wanted to ask, but he was already drifting off. Just a few moments, he told himself.
When he opened his eyes again, it was completely dark outside, and the sounds of the riot were dying down. He turned to the side to see Antony, half sitting up next to him, staring into nothing.
"Are you guarding me in my sleep?", Cassius said, the question so absurd that he had to smile.
"And what if I am? Someone needs to do your soldier's job."
"Considering it's you he wants to protect me from, it's a little superfluous."
Antony turned to him. "Do you want me to leave?" He didn't sound half as confident as he was trying to be.
"No.", Cassius said. "Gods help me, I don't."
"I will get you out of the city tomorrow while they're sleeping it off. Shouldn't be as difficult as getting Brutus to the gates in the middle of a riot..."
"Did he say anything to you?", Cassius asked.
Antony raised his eyebrows. "You mean, any loving words for the master of his heart?"
"Very funny."
"He was lucky I saw him in the crowd, and even luckier that I was able to get to him before they could tear him apart.", Antony said, serious again. "Then he apologised for the inconvenience and said that he never did what he did to hurt me personally. Not that there was much time for talking."
"That sounds like him.", Cassius said, fond.
Antony turned to him, taking Cassius's chin in his hand. "I the end, he told me to look out for you. Perhaps he sensed that you would do something monumentally stupid and try to go after him."
Cassius swallowed. "I won't regret it."
"You wear your efforts on your head."
"But it's brought me to you. One last time, before we are off to war."
"Really? Just now you seemed already half way there.", Antony said carefully.
"Can you blame me? I must consider the future, much as I'd like to forget it.", Cassius replied, grabbing Antony's wrist.
Antony drew his hand down and intertwined their fingers. "I love you too.", he said. "Just thought you should know that before-"
Cassius stared at him helplessly, feeling his heart gallop in his chest.
Then he lifted his head up and kissed Anrony, despairing. Antony hummed, touching Cassius's cheek to correct the angle.
Cassius reached for him by the collar of his tunic. Their lips separated with a smack.
"Once again, before it's over.", Cassius whispered, their faces inches from each other.
In one fluid movement, Antony turned and pulled Cassius on top of him.
"You want to finish what we started in the pool?“
Cassius nodded, consenting to being laid bare, and leaned down for another kiss. It was slow at first, a sinking into each other, which became more intense as their tongues tangled.
Antony ran his hands down his back and up again, opening his legs under him. Cassius readily settled between them. He left off Antony's lips to kiss down his neck with urgent reverence, and Antony grabbed his own neck.
Their lips connected again, Antony making a sound of possession at the back of his throat, pulling Cassius as close as he could.
"Remember Rhodes?", Antony got out between kisses.
Cassius did. Perhaps he shouldn't have, or rather 'Rhodes' should have been referring to the excellent lectures of Archelaus, or the scenery, or how Brutus had walked into a sea urchin that one time, or even that thing with Ataxas and the snake.
Not how Antony had fucked him for the first time, which had started as a simple transactional thing ("You did it to me, now I do it to you"), and ended in all of Cassius's doubts draining away for the sake of improper desire.
Antony had probably brought it up now for that very reason, and him even mentioning it was enough to make Cassius shudder.
"I don't know what you mean.", Cassius said primly, all the while his cock stirred against Antony's.
Antony laughed, thrusting up and rucking up Cassius's woolen tunic to get at skin.
"So that's how you want to play it, do you?", he said. His hands slid over Cassius's sides and his back greedily. "How about I help you remember then?"
Cassius was nearly embarrassed by how much he wanted Antony to do just that, then reminded himself that this was a goodbye, which made him swallow a lump in his throat.
He stared at Antony beneath him, and his playful gaze, too, became more mellow.
"Don't think about it.", Antony whispered, taking Cassius's chin again. "Don't-"
"I have to. How else am I going to appreciate this for what it is?"
Their faces were close and Antony kissed Cassius briefly, before saying: "I'd thought you would rather pretend."
Cassius sighed. "I remember Rhodes, Antonius." He smiled grimly. "But you might remind me anyway, just in case."
Antony brought their lips together again and kissed him fiercely. Their movements became more urgent as their shoved their clothes out of the way and Antony grabbed Cassius's arse, pulling him in.
"The first time I did that, you squawked like an affronted matron.", Antony chuckled.
"I did not 'squawk'."
Cassius couldn't quite maintain his glare, and in the end smiled with Antony. He reached down and rid himself and Antony of their underwear, so their lengths could slide together.
Cassius groaned, burying his face in Antony's neck, kissing it.
Antony leaned back to give him access, while he hooked his legs around Cassius's back.
"Do you have oil?", Cassius panted.
"Plenty. I would just have to get up..."
Cassius smirked, pressing down. "I'd have to let you up, you mean."
They kissed once more and lost themselves in it. Cassius tried to take it all in, all of Antony before he was gone. He had never felt such a complicated knot of emotions before, sadness mixed with determination mixed with love and doubt.
He traced the scar on Antony's neck until it disappeared under the collar of his tunic.
Antony took that as inspiration and pulled Cassius's tunic off over his head. Now naked, Cassius let Antony run his fingers over his body. He had always been thinner than Antony, but never had Antony given an indication that he thought this a disadvantage.
Now Antony used his legs to topple Cassius and reverse their positions. Cassius stared up at him once more, and swallowed as Antony removed his own tunic.
"You can't walk out of here like that.", Cassius said. "Curius will see you."
Antony grinned. "And you don't want your prized soldier to know that we're fucking? Fair enough."
He bent down to kiss Cassius, lingering, until he detached himself and got up. Cassius propped himself up on his elbows and watched him as he rummaged around the room.
He already felt keenly their separation, and he had to think again of what would become of them. What the war-torn Republic would make of them. Would they maintain their affection for each other as honor demanded they tear each other apart?
I didn't matter, Cassius told himself. As he had said, history wouldn't care.
But he cared. Was that enough?
Antony returned with a flask of oil, coming to a halt in front of the bed. Cassius gazed up at him, noted the flush in his cheeks, the widened pupils, the slightly shaking hands.
"You weren't this nervous in Rhodes.", Cassius tried to tease him.
"Rhodes wasn't goodbye.", Antony said.
That's why it felt safe to recreate it. Just two young people, experimenting, with delightful results.
"Come here, then.", Cassius said around the constriction in his throat.
Antony fell onto the bed and pulled Cassius close until their foreheads touched.
"I won't forget.", Antony whispered. "Everything we did and said, I won't forget."
Cassius made a desperate sound and kissed him. A new urgency was there in the movements of their lips and tongues, and when they separated, Cassius let himself be turned onto his stomach by Antony.
Antony kissed his neck and ran his hand down his back until he reached his arse.
Cassius took a deep breath as he felt and oil-slicked finger enter him.
"You were tight like this in Rhodes.", Antony murmured, and Cassius breathed harshly. "I had to take my time opening you up, before you were ready for me..."
It had been a new sensation, the intrusion of fingers, not unpleasant exactly, but new. Now, Cassius had learned to love it from numerous times with Antony and some with Brutus, and he closed his eyes and bared his neck in an unconscious gesture of surrender.
"Don't flatter yourself too much.", he said, still.
Antony added another finger, and Cassius felt a kiss pressed to his shoulder. He groaned as Antony brushed his sweet spot, seeing stars for a moment.
"We should have done this face to face.", Antony murmured. "I would love to see your expression when I-"
"Oh, yes!", Cassius couldn't help himself from gasping, all the while resenting Antony's composure.
But perhaps he was overestimating it, as Antony's fingers became rougher, scissoring him open at a faster pace.
Cassius couldn't say he disliked it. He felt his cock slide against the sheets while he pressed himself onto Antony's fingers, making movements similar to the act that would follow and already made him moan in anticipation.
"If we have time, I would...ah...return the favor...", he breathed.
"Can't stand to have good things all to yourself?", Antony said. His voice sounded more shaken than he would probably have liked, while his fingers worked and Cassius couldn't help the wrecked sounds he was making. "Look at you, you fucking love it... shit, I could just..."
"Well, that's your fault.", Cassius hissed between clenched teeth. "You like it just as much, don't pretend..."
Antony made sound between a moan and a laugh. "So you are perhaps in a hurry to claim me, Longinus?"
"I can claim you this way....just fine...", Cassius replied, and he turned around, dragging Antony down into the sheets.
Antony stared at him, drinking him in as Cassius climbed on top of him once more. Cassius took the oil from Antony and slicked his hands with it, then he took Antony's cock and did the same.
Antony looked at him the whole time, eyelids fluttering, cock twitching in Cassius's grip.
"Why didn't we do this the entire time in the last years?", Antony panted.
"There were reasons..."
"Name one."
There were several, but Cassius had to admit that he struggled to remember them all in this moment, which was probably proving Antony's point.
He decided not to answer, and instead lowered himself onto Antony's cock. The wonderful sensation of being filled overrode any pain, and Cassius was so lost in it that he was surprised when Antony gripped his hand.
Their eyes met again, Antony's full of yearning and love. Cassius blinked his tears away and pressed down on their fingers, while Antony rested his free hand on his hip.
Slowly, Cassius began to move, letting his gaze roam over Antony's sprawled out body in the lamp light.
Antony snapped his hips up and gave a deep groan as he buried himself inside Cassius and slid out again.
"I have you...", Antony breathed, perhaps meaning to be possessive, but it came out too desperate for that.
Cassius only moaned in response, bearing down hard. Antony's nails were digging into his hip, their hands numb from their grip on each other, and Cassius thought it was just perfect.
Antony stared up at him, his own moans leaving his lips and again it was his gaze that had Cassius close to crying.
He couldn't have this be goodbye, he couldn't-
"Antonius...", he gasped. "I need you..."
Antony squeezed his fingers even more tightly, eyes wet.
"You have me.", he said in echo of the night after Parthia. "You have me, always..."
His thrusts picked up, hitting the spot precisely, and Cassius let his own tears fall as he heard himself cry out.
He was stripped, laid bare, hovering between supreme pleasure and the greatest heartbreak. He didn't know how much longer he could stand it.
Antony seemed of a similar mind, since he used his free hand to stroke Cassius's erect member roughly.
The combination of Antony's hand on his cock and the direction of his thrusts had Cassius shaking, nearing the edge.
He brushed Antony's cheek, trying to look at him to the last, but his eyes kept slipping closed.
He didn't have the presence of mind to think of Curius because of the desperate noises they were both making.
They were loving each other while outside, the storm Antony had unleashed in Caesar's name raged on, though the sounds had already become quieter.
Finally, Cassius felt it explode behind his eyes and he cried out once more, spilling himself over Antony's hand and chest.
Antony grunted as Cassius clenched around him, and then he, too, was coming. Cassius moaned in acknowledgement.
They stayed frozen for a moment, before Antony lifted Cassius off his softening cock and into his arms. Cassius didn't even complain about half lying in his own come, he just wanted to sink into Antony.
He had started to say something when the door burst open and Curius burst in, dagger drawn.
"Antonius! Leave-" Curius stopped and took in the scene, Cassius lying naked half atop Antony and very much not fighting a battle for his life. "Dear gods!"
"Get out!", Antony ordered.
Curius stuttered. "Of course...I- I just thought-"
"Curius, please do as as he says.", Cassius said in as level a voice as he could manage.
Curius nodded curtly and left the room.
Antony touched Cassius's cheek, brushing a tear away. "Now don't pull a Brutus on me and become all freaked out. If he is any good, he'll still be loyal to you."
Cassius cleared his throat. "Don't worry. But that was beyond embarrassing." He looked at their still intimately entangled bodies and found nevertheless that he didn't want to move.
"Rest a while.", Antony said with a yawn and draped the covers over both of them. "I'll stay."
Cassius didn't want to lose even a moment with Antony and leaned his head on his shoulder, determined to stay awake.
But his eyelids were heavy and Antony was warm, so he drifted off once more. Antony as well was soon snoring beside him, the care worn frown not leaving him even in sleep.
It was almost dawn when Cassius woke next. He saw Antony, still naked, cleaning himself with water from a basin someone had placed on the table.
Antony walked over offered the cloth to Cassius, before thinking better of it and starting to clean Cassius himself, like in the bath.
It was relaxing, yet at the same time a slight frission began to build between them again when Antony told Cassius to open his legs so he could start cleaning between them.
Cassius could feel the drag of the cloth between his thighs, just grazing past his balls. Antony took his time, and he smiled when he saw how he was affecting Cassius.
"I just cleaned you and you want to go again?"
"What you're doing isn't cleaning.", Cassius protested. "It's teasing and you know it."
"Well, how could I know you would prove so wonderfully responsive...", Antony said, palming Cassius's erection and stroking lightly.
Teasing, again.
"What did you think of Caesar's will?", Cassius said as steadily as possible. "I've been meaning to ask you."
"Your pillow talk needs work.", Antony opined, then sighed. "It's complicated. I almost dreaded it was going to be me, because that would have demanded revenge of me..."
"Is it not better that his heir is a nobody... who likely hasn't even shaved his first beard..." Cassius's breath hitched at Antony's ministrations, which hadn't stopped.
"Octavius is not a nobody. At least, he wasn't to Caesar. I know him."
Antony dragged the cloth over his hole, just slightly dipping inside while he continued to coax his cock to full hardness.
Cassius bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to seem too eager as his body once again betrayed him.
"Do you think he will refuse the inheritance? He might think...ah...that it's too dangerous."
"Never. But I won't make it easy for him.", Antony said.
He took Cassius by the shoulders and turned him around, pressing him into the sheets.
"I want to take you again.", Antony hissed inside his ear.
Cassius groaned and nodded, just stopping himself from humiliating himself further by lifting his arse in the air.
He felt Antony's fingers enter him, honing in on his sweet spot and massaging it, and Cassius was lost.
"You know, Decimus...", Antony began, as if Cassius weren't moaning and whimpering into the covers beneath him. "He told me once that I should be careful, that Caesar was preferring his adolescent nephew over his experienced generals. But again, I choose not to be alarmed by his dissatisfaction. Perhaps I should've-"
With supreme effort, Cassius made himself speak: "Would... Caesar have... oh...listened?"
"I'll never know...", Antony said.
His fingers hadn't let up, and Cassius could barely breathe for the assault of pleasure on his senses, just as it somehow wasn't enough.
"Do you want me to beg?", Cassius asked desperately.
He could hear Antony's smirk as he said: "Beg for what?"
"For you to fuck me, you bastard!", Cassius gasped.
"I don't think I have the patience, rude as you are.", Antony said. "You're quite... enticing this way..."
He withdrew his fingers and Cassius, insensate, moaned at the loss. Next, he felt the press of Antony's cock at his entrance. Cassius was gripping the sheets, twisting them in his hands, as Antony slipped into him in one fluid movement.
They were pressed together head to toe, and Antony wasted no time in starting to thrust, rough and fast.
He grabbed Cassius's hand again, kissing his neck so tenderly that Cassius sensed the burn of tears again.
It was divine, this mixture of roughness and devotion, even better when Antony breathed words of love into his neck.
Cassius wasn't capable of speech anymore as Antony nailed his sweet spot with every thrust and he cried out into the pillows, not wanting a repeat of Curius bursting in.
He was nearly screaming when he came, hard, over the bedsheets beneath. He heard Antony whisper "I love you" as he spilled inside him once more.
This time, Antony cleaned them as they were still catching their breaths.
The light of early dawn was streaming through the window, and Cassius glared at it.
"I wish we could spend all day in this bed.", Antony said, resting his head on Cassius's chest. "That would be a proper goodbye."
But they had to rise and do their duties once more.
This time, Antony started to dress Cassius and Cassius didn't object. He was reminded of when he had dressed Brutus for the funeral, that too having had something of putting on armor for the battlefield.
Antony pulled Cassius's tunic into place -one of his own, Cassius's clothes, which he had been wearing during the riot had been discarded- and slipped on his belt, then called for a toga, which he put on Cassius as well. It took longer than it would have with an experienced slave, and the toga fell a little awkwardly, but Cassius was grateful for the last moments alone together.
Antony stayed in his tunic, and before they went out of the room, he kissed Cassius on the mouth.
"However it ends, I'll remember this.", he said.
Cassius gave a solemn nod and kissed him back.
Then Cassius went to fetch Curius, who was already -or perhaps still- awake and sitting a table by the door.
"We're leaving to join Brutus.", Cassius said. "You can either come with us or go to your family, since you aren't in danger."
Curius looked at him for moment. "I would choose to go to my family then. After all, it seems you don't need my protection any longer."
"Thank you, Curius, for everything.", Cassius said sincerely, trying to gauge his client's mood.
"It's nothing. And also..."
"Yes?"
"It's none of my business whom you choose to bed, sir."
Cassius nodded in relief, and Curius nodded back, serious.
"Say hello to Hebe and the children from me.", Cassius said.
As the sun rose, they left the city.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Antony insisted Cassius ride in a litter so no one would see his face, and they had a small argument, which Cassius won. In the end both of them rode out on horseback.
Everywhere, the remnants of the riot could be observed in the form of broken objects that littered the streets, still burning fires and boarded up houses.
There were also bodies, both sleeping and dead. Antony made a wide berth around the Forum, and Cassius concurred. Only a fraction of Antony's guards were with them, the others had been sent to Cassius's house to get Tertulla, Porcia and Caius.
Thankfully, they weren't attacked and didn't even run into that many people. As full as the streets of Rome had been yesterday, now they seemed mostly empty and derelict.
Cassius tried to look closely, not knowing when - or if - he would see the Rome again he had all done this for. In honest truth, he had never warmed to the city as much as Brutus, and had spent most of his life on campaign away from it. Still, he realised now that he loved Rome, faults and all, just as he loved the Republic.
He looked at Antony, riding beside him, and thought he must feel it too.
"Take good care of Rome. It's yours now.", Cassius said.
Antony scoffed. "Mine and I'm still forced into war by the bitch. Aren't you afraid I'll become a tyrant as you said?"
"I have trust in you.", Cassius replied honestly. "More than I thought I could. At least you'll be doing what you're best at."
"Well, Decimus will be too. I really rather would have gone against the Parthians, believe me."
"The Parthians will still be there a few years from now.", Cassius said.
"But will we?", Antony gave to consider.
The rode the rest of the way in silence. At the estate, they had barely dismounted when Brutus strode out of the main gate towards them. Cassius felt a surge of joy, even as he registered the few bruises and black eye on his lover.
He stepped towards Brutus and without hesitation pulled him into a hug, trying not to cling to him too much.
"I thought I'd lost you.", Cassius breathed into his neck.
Brutus squeezed him right back, and whispered: "Still here. Thanks to Antonius."
Cassius kissed his cheek, lingering, and leaned back into him.
After a while, Antony said: "Sorry to interrupt a private moment, but the horses still need to be taken care of."
"Of course.", Brutus said. He detached himself from Cassius and put his official face on. "Antonius. It's good to see you."
"Likewise.", Antony answered.
Brutus gave the staff instructions for the horses, and they all went inside into the study.
"Tertulla and the others will be a while. Her messenger caught us on the road.", Cassius informed him. "She and Porcia have decided to take all of the staff with them as well, in case the house gets attacked when we're not there."
Brutus looked pensive. "So that was it for Rome and us."
"It's no longer safe for you there.", Antony said. "I'm truly sorry for my part in it."
"The odds were already stacked against us. And as someone who saw your speech, all I sensed was honesty." Still, Brutus sounded immeasurably sad.
"Don't despair.", Cassius said. "We can still salvage the situation."
"Yes, with an army.", Brutus replied archly. "Also, Antonius, not that I'm not glad to get the chance to thank you in person, but why are you here?"
Antony looked grim. "Well, you have your beloved Cassius to thank for that. He ran into the crowds right after you yesterday, where I thankfully met him before he could get himself killed."
Brutus turned to Cassius, stricken. "Is that true?"
"I had to.", Cassius said. "I didn't know what happened to you, if you needed help-" He stopped, the despair coming back to him. "I couldn't stand to lose you."
Brutus's features softened. "Oh, Caius..."
Despite everything, Antony smiled. "Go on, you can kiss in front of me. I needn't remind you that we used to do much more back in the day."
Brutus took Cassius's face in both hands and brought their lips together. As they kissed, Brutus ran his hands into Cassius's hair, and Cassius winced and pulled back when his fingers reached the wound.
"I'm also absolutely livid with you.", Brutus said. "I told you to stay home, not go out on some kind of suicide mission."
"I didn't-"
"You did, don't deny it! And now we owe Antonius, even though he's supposed to be our enemy."
"I would say we're even.", Antony said. "No debts need to be repaid, the ledger is clear. We have bigger things to worry about."
"I suppose you'll march against Decimus first.", Brutus said, still looking at Cassius.
"Right. And then-"
"Then, if Decimus doesn't end you, it'll be our turn." Brutus's voice was crystal clear. "I would never have thought- after all we shared..."
Antony had sat down and put his feet up on the desk, the very picture of carelessness. But now he asked: "Do you regret not killing me when you had the chance?"
Cassius couldn't be sure at whom he had directed the question, but surely Antony knew by now of his devotion, his inability to kill him. However, not being able to and not wanting to were two different things.
Brutus was the quicker with his answer: "Absolutely not. It would've been uncivilized and barbaric."
Antony gave a bitter laugh. "Marcus Brutus, you were made for a better world than this one. Cassius at least understood what was necessary."
I don't blame you, his gaze said to Cassius.
"What was necessary maybe, but not what was right.", Cassius replied.
I'm sorry, was his other answer and Antony acknowledged it with a small smile.
"I should be getting back to Rome.", Antony said, rising. "The calm after the storm is deceptive."
Brutus nodded. "Then this is goodbye. For now. I wish it could've been different."
Antony stood before Brutus and leant forward, kissing him on the lips. "Goodbye. May the gods smile on the Republic."
Brutus looked stunned, but not dismayed. "I know you care about her, too. For all your pretense, you never looked easily on tyranny.", he said.
"Cassius says the same thing.", Antony replied thoughtfully.
Cassius himself looked at them, the two most important people in his life, and was lost for words. Especially when Antony turned to him.
"Don't die.", was all he could think of after everything.
Antony kissed him roughly, pulling him close by the neck.
"Don't die.", he echoed. "And take care of my toga for me. I'll want it back."
"I will."
Antony's eyes danced with emotion as he gave Cassius a military salute, already the respected enemy general.
Cassius returned it curtly.
Then Antony walked out into the midday sun. He didn't turn back.
Brutus and Cassius watched him go, their hands interlinked, their thoughts on the future.
~~~~~~~~~~~~End