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The Memory Cage

Summary:

Luke is back. It's time for a happy ending, but fortunately or unfortunately, life and its problems don't stop there. Luke has a lot on his mind; it's a blessing to have friends ready and willing to support him.

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Luke had finally returned.

He looked so tired and worn, a little taller, his hair darker, but none of that mattered—he had returned after his body had been scattered and torn apart alive into fonons. How in the world could such little things have mattered?

Sobbing, Tear clung to Luke, afraid to let go, fearful of losing him again. It felt like he would crumble to dust if she turned her back and stopped holding him so tightly. Tear was sure everyone else (except perhaps Jade, who kept a discreet distance) shared the same sentiment.

He is here, returned, alive.

Honestly, Tear didn't mind staying in this moment forever.

Luke lowered his gaze to hers, placed his palm on her cheek, and gently wiped away her tears.

“You're crying.”

“Of course I am! I was so afraid that you… you…”

“...I'm here. It's okay.”

The question is, was Luke saying this to her… or to himself?

He smiled, just like before. It was a smile you could recognise out of a thousand and impossible to fake. It really is Luke.

Guy ruffled his friend's hair and put his arm around him. Anise, bawling now and then, clung to his coat. Natalia stood close by, her eyes tearful as well. Mieu sat on his Master's shoulder.

Everything around seemed to sing with happiness: the selenias, the waterfalls, the tree leaves...

“I’m home,” he said with a look of joy in his eyes—emerald, beautiful eyes. “...Man, that was a pain!”

Everyone froze for a second, and then Guy burst out laughing.

“Welcome home, Luke!”

 

 

That evening, with Luke's consent, Natalia took him to the Fabre manor. It was... noisy, in short.

Princess Susanne burst into tears and was on the verge of fainting. Even Duke Fabre, in whose face one usually sees only anger or indifference, looked happy.

Luke, however, only mumbled, “Father, Mother… I’m glad to see you.”

Much to Luke's chagrin, a feast was arranged for the next morning to celebrate the return of ‘the Fabre successor’, ‘the Hero of Kimlasca’, and so on.

He seemed… weary.

“Luke.” Tear approached him as he walked across the garden to his chambers. “How… are you feeling?”

“Ah. Tear. Uh… Hi,” his voice was quiet. He smiled, but his eyes told a different story. “...Hey, don't look at me like that. I'm fine, really, just tired.”

“You do remember that you're terrible at lying, don’t you?”

“I’m…” he rested his palm on his forehead and ran his fingers through his red hair. “Seriously, everything's fine, Tear.” He smiled again, this time more sincerely. “I'm just overwhelmed. But things will get better. Nothing's going to be harder than freeing Lorelei, right?”

“...Indeed.”

They fell silent.

“I'll… go then? I suppose you want to rest too. It’s already late.”

“One more thing…”

Luke gave her a questioning look. Tear held her breath and reached for his hand.

Even though he's engaged and her actions are wrong… too much time has already been wasted. Tear wasn't going to put things off any longer. She'd had too many bitter experiences with that.

The wind played with the strands of their hair and danced with the flowers that filled the garden. The moon enveloped the whole world in its bright light.

“T-take care of yourself,” she continued, breathing out. “Don't be afraid to tell me if something is bothering you. Don't keep everything to yourself, and don't try to carry the load alone. You have us. You have… me. Because I… You—”

“...Me too,” a slight flush graced his cheeks. 

He tentatively intertwined his fingers with hers.

But there was clearly something wrong—something he wouldn't be honest about.

“I'm… so happy that my life is moving forward.”

 

 

The subject of Natalia and Luke's wedding came up during the feast. King Ingobert gave his daughter the word. To the surprise of everyone present, she announced her intention to break off the engagement. Natalia said that she had in mind an even better match for the country and, with her father's permission, wished to be betrothed to that particular man. Luke, however, as the miraculously surviving Kimlascan hero, should have the right to choose his bride.

Luke clenched his fists as he listened to the speech.

After the guests had dispersed, he walked over to Natalia with a sullen expression on his face—too sullen for a man who was now likely to be given a certain freedom to marry.

“Luke? Is everything all right?”

“Yes, but... Natalia, are you sure?”

She stared at him, confused.

“Of course I'm sure. Our marriage would have had political value, but you've been through too much to end up in a marriage of convenience. Besides… You are in love with Tear,” Natalia said with a smile. “It's obvious. And I…”

“...I’m so sorry, Natalia.”

“Excuse me?”

Luke found himself unable to look her in the eye.

“I'm sorry that… I came back instead of Asch.”

Natalia looked as if she wanted to slap him in the face for saying that, but she stopped herself.

“Luke,” she began in a stern tone, “you're talking nonsense. ...I'm sure if Asch heard that, he'd shout at you straight away.” Her gaze darkened. “Yes, it was you who came back. Yes, I want to marry Asch with all my heart… No, in truth, knowing he is alive and well somewhere far away would have been enough. But he isn't. He died on Eldrant. There's… nothing you can do about it. ...Besides, I am eternally happy to have you with me, for you are my dear friend. Trust me, I'll do everything in my power to make you happy.”

“...Thank you.”

“That's better,” Natalia cheered. “I don't want to hear any more of that nonsense from you.”

“Princess Natalia.” One of the maids approached them and spoke up. “I'm sorry to interrupt. King Ingobert requests your presence. He awaits you in the throne room.”

“Ah. Thank you," she said, turning to the maid. “You may go.”

The woman took a bow and went on her way.

“Sorry, Luke, I have to go. If you need anything, come and see me. …Or if you just want to talk, really.”

“I will. Thank you, Natalia.”

Luke smiled, and Natalia stepped out into the hallway.

He had a secret. In truth, some of Asch's memories had been passed on to him. Luke was still himself—or at least he wanted to believe that—but it felt… strange.

In the past, Luke would have wholeheartedly wished for Asch's return instead. He might even have asked Jade if there was a way to bring Asch back in his stead. 

But now, despite a certain sense of guilt, he would never give up his place in the world to anyone—not to Asch, nor to anyone else.

Because Luke was too desperate to live.

 

 

Another sunny day had come.

Luke and Guy were chatting as they stood at the entrance of Fabre Manor.

“Guy, are you sure this isn't going to be a problem?”

In honour of Luke's return, Guy decided to stay in Baticul for two weeks. But as happy as Luke was to hear the news, he knew that a friend's well-being needed to come first.

“Don't worry, I have sorted this out with Emperor Peony. Honestly, I think he was even happy to give me some time off.”

Luke laughed, “Got it. Why am I not surprised?”

“But enough about work.” Guy put his hands on his hips. “What do you want to do today? Tell me.”

Luke hummed thoughtfully, his eyes scanning the sky.

“I’m not sure... Ah, actually,” he brightened up and looked at his friend, “the sea! Let's head to the sea. It's not too far away.”

Guy's expression became more serious, but he still looked happy.

“Then it's settled! To the sea it is. You were really keen to go there as a kid… I mean, you've seen it many times during our travels, but…”

Luke took a few steps forward. Guy followed him.

“But there's a difference. Our trips to Baticul were always for urgent business, not for fun… And we only went to the sea once when we were kids. Natalia was also with us that day, I think?”

Guy stopped walking, “Luke?”

“...Yeah?”

“We had never been to the sea when you were a child. No matter how hard I tried to persuade your father to let me take you out, he would not budge.”

Luke felt like he had forgotten how to breathe.

“...However,” Guy continued, “I did go to the sea with Asch and Natalia once.”

“Oh. Right. …I never left the Manor.”

Guy's look was deadly serious now, his smile gone.

“Luke. Are you hiding something?”

“I…” he bit his lip. Annoyingly, he couldn't think of a single excuse. “Can we… go to the sea first and talk about it there?”

Guy nodded.

The atmosphere soured in an instant.

As always, Baticul was teeming with people. So many voices spoke at once that they merged into a cacophony.

On the way to the port, they tried a few times to get the conversation going, but it didn't work.

When they finally arrived, Luke uttered, “...Well. Yes, I... have been hiding something.”

Guy listened intently, his eyes studying him.

“Hey, it’s not that bad,” Luke claimed. “There is no catastrophe. I'm not dying. Some of Asch's memories have just... been passed on to me for some reason,” he said, looking out at the sea. “It doesn't cause much trouble, but sometimes I get confused about which memories belong to whom. So… That’s that.”

“Why didn't you tell us about it right away? We could have asked Jade.”

“...I don’t know.”

“Oh, Luke…” Guy put his palm to his forehead. “...Anyhow, I'm glad nothing catastrophic is happening to you… The memory mix-up is alarming, though.”

Luke nodded, still looking at those interesting waves.

“...All right, let's leave it at that for now. It should be a fun day, after all. But if anything goes wrong or you get too confused, call me, send me a letter, whatever. I'll be right over.”

“Okay… Thanks.”

Guy sat down on the dock and patted the spot beside him.

“Changing the subject... How are things going with Tear?” he said with a smirk.

Luke flinched but sat down next to Guy anyway.

“W… what are you on about?” He could feel the heat on his cheeks.

“Dunno. Have you confessed to each other yet?”

“Uh…” Luke fell silent and looked away again.

“...Hold up. You have?! Seriously?” Guy immediately grinned, his eyes lighting up. “Woah! I didn't think you'd be so quick. Have you already started dating?”

“N-no…”

“I see-e-e. I take it things are going well for you two. I'm glad.”

“Shut it, Guy!”

But he just laughed at that.

 

 

A few weeks later, Luke was sent to Daath as an ambassador.

The conversations with religious figures were long and incredibly boring, but at least the city itself was still quite pleasant after two years.

He stayed at a nearby inn for the night. In the morning, as Luke stepped through the door, a high-pitched voice rang out across the street.

“Lu-u-uke!” Anise called out, running up to him. Glowing with happiness, she stopped a step away from Luke. “Hi! I didn't know you were coming to Daath. You could have at least sent a letter!”

“Um… Yeah. Sorry, I didn't have time.”

“Well, whatever! I'm glad to see you.”

It was strange indeed to see Anise so friendly with him.

“Me too. So, how is Florian?”

“He's fine! By the way, he was also very happy to hear that you were back. You should definitely visit him when you have the time.”

Luke gave a small chuckle, “Sure thing! I think I'll be able to drop by and see him today. I don't have any urgent matters.”

“Yay! So then—”

Dressed in a military uniform and glasses, a shadow appeared over Anise.

“Ah. Colonel Curtiss.” She turned back to him with a weary look on her face. “My apologies. I had an urgent matter to attend to.”

“I see. Well, I can excuse such urgent business,” Jade smiled, surprisingly not in a scary way, but in a friendly one.

“Long time no see, Jade,” he cheerfully greeted him.

“Hello, Luke. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” he mumbled, a little tired of answering that question. “So... you both got sent somewhere again?”

“Exactly. And I was forced to work overtime, too,” Anise grumbled. “I'm supposed to have the day off today!”

“There there, Anise,” Jade reassured her. “At least you got to see an old friend. That's great, isn't it?”

“You mean Luke? Yeah, totally.”

...Jade was definitely talking about himself.

“Him too,” the Colonel laughed. “Speaking of which, Luke, I don't want to bother you, but I strongly suggest you see a doctor. And I'd also like to check you out myself.

Oh no.

“...But Luke's all right, isn't he?” Anise said with uncertainty, turning serious.

“It appears so, but it is better to be safe than sorry. Returning after fonon separation is a phenomenon. Have you noticed anything strange about yourself? Anything new?”

“...I haven’t.”

Jade obviously figured out that he had been lied to.

“I see.” He smiled nonetheless. “But I still recommend that you get some checkups. You wouldn't want to accidentally worsen your condition, would you? Coincidentally, Anise and I are on our way to Belkend. I suggest we take advantage of this great opportunity. Will you come with us?”

Luke grudgingly agreed.

He hated medical examinations and everything associated with them, but there was no use arguing with Jade. Especially when he wanted to accomplish something this badly.

In the end, he did tell Jade about his memory problem, but not around Anise. The Colonel sent her to do the job alone. Although Anise protested, she soon came to terms with the injustice.

Overall, Luke's condition turned out to be marvellous... almost too much so. The only real problem was that somehow, Asch's memories had crept into his head.

Jade reviewed the test results thoroughly. Despite his confidence in Doctor Shu's professionalism, he decided to see for himself. 

“Yes, the results are indeed fine. To be honest... I didn't think they could be that good.”

“Then, uh… Everything okay? I can go now?”

Jade closed his eyes, pondering.

“Yes. I'll get you a ticket to Baticul. But please let me know if the memory situation changes in any way. It's very important for me to know.”

“...Fine.”

It looked like the meeting with Florian would have to be postponed after all…

 

 

Three months had passed since Luke's return. To celebrate, they decided to throw a small party in Yulia City, at Tear's place.

“I don't have a lot of space, but…”

“No, it's great,” Natalia insisted, delighted to see her friend. “There's more than enough space.”

The evening was a lot of fun. It even felt like they were back in the past—the days of constant traveling and campfire evenings.

At one point, Luke felt the need for some fresh air. His feet led him to the garden of selenia flowers—the very same one where Tear had once promised to always watch over him, and where he had... made the decision to change, cutting his hair as proof that his intentions were serious.

By now, his hair was long again.

In the middle of the garden was Van's grave.

“Luke?” sounded a voice behind him. 

“...I’m sorry, Tear. I should have asked your permission before coming here.”

“No, it’s fine,” she stepped closer. Even without turning around, Luke was almost certain that there was a smile on her face.

He remained silent, first gazing at the selenia flowers, then at Van's grave—his former mentor.

“Tear…” Luke sighed, finally turning around. “So many memories… are associated with this place, right?”

Partly, he just wanted to talk to her about it. But more than that, something inside him screamed to make sure his memories were real. That it had really happened and that he wasn't going mad.

“Yes. This is where you cut your hair... This is where we met a month after first defeating my brother…”

His memories didn't fail him. Good.

“...Luke, are you sure you're okay? You seem a little down.”

He put a hand to the back of his neck.

“Can I... tell you something, Tear?”

Her blue eyes, coloured by the azure of the sea and the cloudless summer sky, looked up at him in expectation.

“Of course,” she meekly approved.

Luke breathed out frantically.

“I’m frightened. Almost every night I have nightmares of disappearing again, of losing myself, of being up to my elbows in blood. I'm... not sure if I'm really the same person I was two years ago... before Eldrant.”

Tear listened intently to his every word.

“I haven't told you this yet, but I... have some of Asch's memories.”

“...Yeah. I know.”

“Huh?”

Her gaze was still as serious as ever.

“Mieu told me. He overheard your conversation with Guy.”

“Again?! Damn it, that Thing doesn't change at all!”

Tear giggled.

“I guess…” she lowered her head. “Luke, if you're afraid this will make us doubt you, it won't. You survived by a miracle. And the fact that you're here with us now is more than enough.”

“But what if…” he gulped. “What if I stop being myself? After all, memory is what makes us who we are! What if something goes wrong and my memory becomes completely distorted, or I can no longer distinguish which memories are mine and which are Asch's... Or…”

“Luke!” Tear raised her tone. “None of this will happen. I mean, you're not alone. Even if your memory gets all messed up, we're going to get through this. Together.”

His hands trembled a little.

“You said you don't know if you're the same person. In my opinion... No, you are not the same person. But not because you've stopped being you. You're still Luke fon Fabre, the one and only, however... It's been two whole years. Of course you've changed. We all change, and none of us is exactly the same as we were a few years ago. These changes may not be that significant, but they are still there and cannot be denied. But that's normal, there's nothing strange about it... On the contrary, it would be much worse if we didn't change. Because we are growing,” she smiled. “I've changed, too.”

Luke was at a loss for words.

“You know, I have an idea. Can you give me your sword?”

“Eh? S-sure…” He drew the weapon from its scabbard and held it out.

She held her hair in front of her, grasping it at chest height with one hand and bringing the sword to it with the other.

“Wait, what are you—”

With a quick movement, Tear cut off her hair. She lowered the sword and let the cut strands fall from her hands. A gust of wind blew them far away.

“We all change... No, we all have to change. And I'm no exception. The way I see it, we... should always strive to become the best version of ourselves. So, if changing too suddenly scares you, let's change together. Staying who we are, but growing.”

Giving in to his emotions, Luke wrapped Tear in a hug.

“Thank you, Tear…” He held her closer. “Thank you.”