Chapter Text
"WHAT?!" Shang Qinghua yelled when Shen Qingqiu revealed to him the (not-so) shocking fact that A-Luo and Binghe were the same person… (or the same werewolf, whatever). But after a few seconds of pondering, he shrugged and said, “Yeah. Yeah. Makes perfect sense. They both have that same vibe of, ‘if you talk to my owner/Shizun, I’ll rip your throat out.’”
It was the second Friday night of the month, their official bad movie night, meaning Shang Qinghua was on his way to Shen Qingqiu’s house. The only difference this time was… Luo Binghe would be there. Sure, he’d been there many times before, but this time he’d be there as a person! Talking! And not just adorably barking and playing with squeaky rubber toys.
Of course, Shang Qinghua had insisted on dragging his husband along.
“I don’t see the point in watching these bad movies of yours,” was Mobei Jun's excuse.
So Shang Qinghua knelt on the ground and begged, as the good, self-humbling husband he was. “Please, please, my king, I can’t be left alone with Luo Binghe! I can’t be the third wheel!”
Was he afraid of Luo Binghe? Absolutely! For one, that dog had insisted on biting him for the first few months of their friendship, and even though he seemed to be warming up to him now, Shang Qinghua knew full well that Luo Binghe was utterly insane! There was a long list of people he’d devoured in wolf form simply for getting too close to his Shizun!
Completely insane! What did Shen Qingqiu even see in him?
Well, honestly… maybe if Shang Qinghua saw Mobei Jun killing someone just for flirting with him, perhaps… hmm… okay… maybe it would seem a little romantic — no?! No, obviously not! What was he thinking?
He shook the thought away as he rang the doorbell, greeted by Shen Qingqiu and that little furball.
Naturally, as they entered, the furball directed all his attention toward Mobei Jun, who greeted him with, “Hey, Binghe, how’s my little guy?” Binghe bounced around, playing with the huge man. Mobei Jun even spoke in a soft, baby voice, shaking a toy for Binghe to grab or throwing it far so he could fetch it back, tail wagging as he strutted proudly.
It was cute and adorable, but wasn't he forgetting something?
“Hey! Hey! I want answers! Why did you keep biting me?” Shang Qinghua immediately confronted the dog, who gave him a shameless look — he took advantage of him being in his dog form since if he turned human, Shang Qinghua would probably be terrified of him. “Why do you like my husband so much but hate me?” Anyone watching him talk to the dog like that would think he was losing it. “Stop looking at me like that. What do you think you’re doing? I know you’re no innocent Pomeranian. Come on, transform into a human and give me answers.”
Yes. Shang Qinghua was taking advantage of Binghe still being a cute dog to say these things.
Binghe was now on Mobei Jun’s lap, belly up, getting his tummy rubbed like a pampered little pup. Shang Qinghua crossed his arms, as if waiting for Binghe to just “poof” into human form.
He heard a laugh from behind him. It was Shen Qingqiu, bringing a tray of snacks for his guests. “He’s not going to transform right now. When Binghe transforms into a human, he’s naked.”
Shang Qinghua instantly panicked.
“What?! No! No! Get off my husband right now. You’re not going to be naked on my husband’s lap! Why does he do that?” he asked Shen Qingqiu, as if Luo Binghe had chosen nudity as an option.
Shen Qingqiu looked at him, feeling like banging his head against the wall. Why was Shang Qinghua his best friend, again?
In truth, he didn’t understand why Shang Qinghua was so surprised. “Bro. What would be the point of clothes transforming with him?”
Shang Qinghua opened his mouth to argue but thought for a moment and realized he had no real response. He couldn’t even defend the idea that in one of his own stories, clothes would transform too, because if it were his story, there’d be a lot of werewolves and werewomen …?) getting naked.
Binghe gave Mobei Jun one last lick and, with all the autonomy in the world, walked over to Shen Qingqiu’s room. Shang Qinghua made a slight face and went to settle on the couch for movie night, noticing a smartphone he’d never seen before lying on the table. “Bro, why’d you get a new phone? I thought you liked your current one.”
Shen Qingqiu looked puzzled, glancing at the phone Shang Qinghua pointed out, realizing it was the one he’d gotten for Luo Binghe. “It’s not mine. It’s Binghe’s.”
“No way. He finally has a phone now? You got him a phone?”
It wasn’t exactly a shocking revelation, but it seemed the fact that A-Luo had been living without a phone baffled Shang Qinghua. Of course it did. The man’s life revolved around his phone/computer/Mobei Jun.
“Yes. Now he’s finally learning to use it.” Shen Qingqiu sat on the couch, getting comfortable as he used the remote to turn on the TV and mute it while they talked. “He left the mortal realm a few decades ago and has been in the underworld since then. Apparently, smartphones aren’t popular in the underworld yet.”
“Decades?! How old is he?”
“Not much older than you.”
Shang Qinghua had been born in the '80s and was nearing forty — though his appearance made him look like he was still in his twenties, just like Shen Qingqiu with his eternally youthful look. Who knows what kind of magic Shang Qinghua was using to stay young, but it was definitely working.
“You’re such a pervy vampire. You’re two thousand years old and dating a werewolf of, what, 50?”
Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes, hiding his face behind a cushion. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not two thousand years old?!”
At that moment, a voice chimed in from the room. “Shizun could be three thousand years old, and I would still love him.” Luo Binghe appeared from behind, hugging Shen Qingqiu over the back of the couch and cheekily hopped over it to sit right next to Shen Qingqiu.
“Stop treating me like an old man.” Making a slightly annoyed face, Shen Qingqiu grabbed Luo Binghe’s hand and gave it a light bite, getting a warm smile in return.
Ah… so this was the famous A-Luo.
He was wearing loose, casual clothes, much like Shen Qingqiu’s preferred loungewear. The clothes were obviously new, and Shang Qinghua wouldn’t be surprised if he’d put together an entire new wardrobe for his boyfriend. Even though he’d seen photos of Shen Qingqiu with Luo Binghe, this was the first time seeing him in person.
And he didn’t even bother apologizing for all the times he’d bitten Shang Qinghua!
(And he was so big, so tall, so muscular, that Shang Qinghua now feared speaking to him like that again, so maybe it was better to let it go.)
Shang Qinghua thought he’d feel a bit nauseous seeing the two lovebirds snuggling up and being clingy, like he felt with any other couple (not that… okay, he was being hypocritical, because whenever he was with Mobei Jun, he loved announcing their relationship to the world). But… despite all the mushiness, Shang Qinghua couldn’t help feeling happy for his friend.
Shen Qingqiu was smiling in such a genuinely cute way. It was… nice to see him happy.
(Even if it meant dating a maniac, but—! Ah, Shen Qingqiu wasn’t exactly a saint either, so who was Shang Qinghua to judge them?)
"What movie did you pick for us to watch?" Shen Qingqiu asked, casually scrolling through the TV.
"I changed my mind. Now that I know Luo Binghe hasn’t kept up with modern society, I decided we should watch one of your favorites."
The odd look Shen Qingqiu gave him suggested he already suspected whatever Shang Qinghua had in store. "Luo Binghe," he turned to his best friend's boyfriend, "have you ever seen Twilight?"
Shen Qingqiu threw a pillow at Shang Qinghua’s face — saved only by his husband catching it mid-air and calmly setting it back on the sofa without comment. "Go to hell. I hate that movie. It's awful! Awful! Awful!"
Luo Binghe looked mildly intrigued. "Why do you hate it so much?"
"The protagonist is bland, insufferable, and completely unremarkable. The portrayal of vampires is silly and really, really offensive. The romance is dull and lifeless... And because the book is better."
Shang Qinghua burst out laughing at his tone. "For you, the book is always better. And you love the movie. You were watching it while Binghe was missing. Liu Qingge told me."
Shen Qingqiu's immediate thought: traitor.
Something possessive sparked in Luo Binghe’s mind. "If Shizun was watching a movie with Liu Qingge, I want to watch it too!"
"I wasn’t!"
"Yes, you were!" Shang Qinghua shot back. For a vampire, it was probably humiliating to admit not only that he liked but actually loved Twilight, and Shang Qinghua enjoyed teasing him about it. "You were identifying completely with Bella Swan when Edward disappeared. You even thought about jumping off a cliff to see if Luo Binghe would come save you, just like Bella kept getting into danger to make Edward come back. Which is ironic, because you’re the vampire in the relationship, not Luo Binghe."
This stirred the nerd side of Shen Qingqiu, who couldn’t stand inaccurate statements.
"But it was Jacob who saved Bella, not Edward!"
Shang Qinghua grinned. "So you wanted to jump off a cliff to be rescued by the werewolf, just like Bella was!"
“I didn’t know Binghe was a werewolf. This doesn’t make sense!”
Luo Binghe, who had been following the conversation closely, asked, "There are werewolves in this movie?"
"Yes. And they’re shirtless the entire time," Shang Qinghua added, as if this were vital information, though it seemed relevant enough for Luo Binghe.
"Would Shizun like it if I went shirtless all the time too?"
This seemed to break Shen Qingqiu's mind.
"No! I mean, yes, but- Ah! We’re not watching Twilight, bro!"
"So we could watch Van Helsing, you love that movie."
Shen Qingqiu's face froze at the mention of that movie; it was as if his body had shut down, not moving a single muscle. Slowly, he turned to Shang Qinghua, and if Luo Binghe weren’t so comfortably draped across his shoulders petting him, Shang Qinghua was sure his friend would get up and smack him with a pillow.
"That movie is horrible! So horrible!"
"You didn’t deny it’s one of your favorite movies. See?"
Mobei Jun finally spoke, recognizing the name of the movie. "Isn’t that the movie that inspired you to create me?"
Shen Qingqiu’s face twisted in horror. Shang Qinghua’s talent for pushing his friend to emotional extremes was remarkable.
"...Shang Qinghua." Oh, dear, he’d called him by name, a clear sign he was genuinely outraged. "When you told me you consumed Frankenstein content to write those ridiculous smut stories of yours, you didn’t mean Mary Shelley’s novel or the 1931 movie — you meant Stephen Sommers' Van Helsing?!"
"Maybe…"
"Shang Qinghua..."
"It’s a fun movie!" Mobei Jun chimed in, having seen it just once shortly after his creation — when he was only 1 week of life — and finding it intriguing — though, if he watched it now, perhaps he wouldn’t be so impressed.
"Yes! And look, it has all of us: a vampire, werewolves, Victor and Frankenstein-!" Shang Qinghua tried to justify, fully aware that Shen Qingqiu probably loved that movie more than he did. Shang Qinghua had watched it maybe three times in his life, but he was certain his friend rewatched it every year.
Shen Qingqiu looked utterly defeated by the direction of the conversation, likely reconsidering his choice of best friend. "I-"
"And I’m pretty sure that, just like you could imagine a romance between Edward and Jacob, there’s also some chemistry between Van Helsing and Dracula!"
"No, no, I can’t, that movie is completely terrible, absolutely, absolutely awful."
"If I remember right, you've watched it more than ten times, and-"
Shen Qingqiu almost shouted in frustration, throwing his head back and probably not losing it entirely only because Luo Binghe was gazing at him with adorable, loving eyes while petting his head. "Fine. You win. We’re watching Twilight."
"Yay!" Luo Binghe cheered, pleased — not because they’d watch Twilight, but because he’d get to see the movie Shen Qingqiu watched with Liu Qingge.
Shang Qinghua snuggled up on his husband’s lap. Yes, he always did this when with Mobei Jun; who could blame him when his husband had such broad shoulders and a comfortable chest to rest on?
Oh, the best part was that now Shen Qingqiu was in a relationship, he couldn’t complain anymore about Shang Qinghua being the third wheel! Perfect!
But… Shang Qinghua was genuinely happy for his friend.
Everything had worked out. Shang Qinghua smiled; oh, how he loved happy endings. It was almost like something out of fiction, he thought. Funny, the way this whole story felt like something he’d write in one of his online novels.
Hm… What an odd coincidence. Well, whatever — he had more pressing matters to focus on, like that dubious movie now playing on the TV, with Shen Qingqiu complaining about each scene — though if Shang Qinghua dared to say anything negative, Shen Qingqiu would defend the movie passionately.
Indeed, watching a movie with his best friend, his friend’s boyfriend, and his own husband was much more important than questioning why so many things in reality resembled the kinds of stories Shang Qinghua liked to write for fun.
Much, much more important.