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Clancy felt his stomach drop when he stepped out into the clearing. He'd recognise him anywhere, even without the dim flickering light of the torch he held in his hand.
How could Josh be here? Josh has been with him since he was taken right from camp, there's no way he could be on the other side of the clearing, dressed in his bandito clothes rather than the black cloak Clancy last saw him in, while he was standing right next to him.
Clancy turns back to where Josh was just standing, and feels his hands begin to shake when he isn't by his side.
He almost feels as if he's floating as he walks towards Josh, meeting him halfway across the clearing. He doesn't speak as he looks into his eyes, Josh's expression unreadable. Clancy feels exposed as he looks up to Josh. Josh has always been guarded, never fully letting Clancy in, whereas Clancy is almost too easy to read. He knows Josh has to be able to see the betrayal and anger and upset in Clancy's eyes, but Clancy can't tell how Josh feels.
Josh holds out his hand to Clancy, and Clancy holds back the scoff threatening to escape his mouth. Of course they still have more they need of him. He can't just escape Dema and be free, he still has to sacrifice so much of himself. Clancy grips the antlers at his hip tightly.
He snatches the mask from Josh, recognising it as the mask the man he seized to teach the citizens of Dema wore. Anger fills him at the thought of just being a sick chess piece in this game against the bishops.
Clancy takes a step back, the anger growing stronger than any other emotion he feels. Josh seemingly picks up on the change of demeanour, as his own stoic expression falters.
"Tyler-" he begins, but Clancy doesn't give him the chance to finish.
"Don't call me that," he snaps. The Josh that Clancy knew throughout all of Good Day Dema, on Volds øy, he can call him that. Now Clancy doesn't even know if he was real, whether what he thought they had was real. This Josh cannot call him that name.
Josh winces slightly, before nodding curtly, his emotions guarded once more. "Come then. We have a bit of a walk to return to camp."
The walk to the Bandito camp was cold and tense in comparison to Clancy and Josh's days spent on Voldsøy. Anger runs through Clancy's veins as he walks behind Josh. They walk in silence, the group of Banditos awkwardly following behind, scattered conversation here and there.
They reach a steep hill, and Josh makes his way up with ease, turning back to offer a hand to Clancy. Just a few hours ago, Clancy would've taken the hand. Now instead he pushes past the hand, shoulder brushing against Josh's.
Josh lets out a frustrated groan as he chases after Clancy.
"Clancy, what's your problem?"
Clancy doesn't look at Josh as he keeps walking. "What do you think I'm upset about?"
"Look, Clancy. Please just listen to me, I'm so sorry, please," Josh roughly grabs onto Clancy's shoulder, turning him to face him.
"What is there to explain? You left me alone with
them
, Josh. How could you possibly explain that?"
Josh drags a hand through his hair. "I know it sounds bad, believe me I know. But you were never alone, please just listen to me."
Clancy lets out a dry laugh. "I didn't think I was alone either, until I saw you here. I saw you, Josh. Did you know that? I saw you with me the entire time. Well- other than when you just disappeared randomly. But no, you were here this entire time. I was alone. Do you have any idea what they did to me? It is your fault I was there in the first place," somewhere in his rant he threw Josh's hand off of his shoulder. Clancy's hands shook as tears raced down his cheeks. He didn't even realise he'd begun crying.Clancy roughly swipes at his face, doing nothing to stop the tears. "You left me. I was alone being tortured by the Bishops. For- how many years?"
Josh is looking down at the ground. "It was six years, Clancy."
That makes Clancy freeze. "What?" he asks weakly, his legs almost collapsing under himself. Josh finally looks up at Clancy, and his eyes soften, letting some concern and guilt through.
"You were taken by Nico six years ago. Please just listen to me, I promise you weren't alone. I have this power-"
But Clancy had stopped listening. It almost felt like he was back in the sea after the submarine had broken, the waves crashing down on his every attempt to draw air. Everything sounds muted, and all Clancy can focus on is the pounding of his heart in his chest, and "six years" echoing in his head.
Josh had stopped speaking at one point when he realises how much trouble Clancy is having breathing, the tears not stopping.
"Hey. Clancy. Clancy, can you hear me? Come on, you're okay," Josh puts his hands on Clancy's shoulders, but he doesn't react, not even when Josh begins rubbing his hands up and down Clancy's arms.
""Clancy, hey, you're okay, we're okay. You're safe, it's just me. I'm so sorry, Clancy," Josh whispers into Clancy's ear, his voice growing in volume as he desperately tries to calm Clancy down. He'd helped bring Clancy down from these episodes countless times before, every time he was rescued again from Dema he'd have nightmares nearly nightly for weeks after, and in Dema during his latest capture back they'd only become more and more common. Josh doesn't know how many nights on Voldsøy he spent with Clancy wrapped in his arms as he sobs and screams. It never gets easier, but at least then Clancy had some trust in him. Now Clancy doesn't seem respondent, and Josh can understand why he wouldn't trust Josh anymore, not after Josh lied to him for six years.
Panic rises more and more in Josh as Clancy continues to stare ahead, eyes glossed over and scared. Josh feels so out of his depth as he can't get through to Clancy.
"Clancy! Come on, C. Listen to me, I'm right here!" his voice has raised significantly, and he begins slightly shaking Clancy by the shoulders.
Nothing. Nothing but Clancy's gasped shuddering breaths, his shaking hands.
Josh groans, squeezing the bridge of his nose in stress.
"Please, Tyler-" Josh begins quietly, pausing as Clancy snaps his head up. "Ty? Can you hear me? It's just me, you're okay."
"Josh…" Tyler whispers, voice cracking.
"Oh, Ty, come here," Josh says quietly, eyes softening as he pulls Tyler to his chest.
"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry, Josh-" Tyler says through shuddering sobs.
"No, Tyler, don't apologise, it's okay, you're okay," Josh eases him, running a hand through Tyler's hair. It had grown out from his time in Dema, though the pink had faded. Tyler's breaths were coming too quickly for Josh's comfort. "Come on, Ty, follow my breaths, you're okay." Josh exaggerates his breathing for Tyler, slowly in through his nose, holding, before breathing out through his mouth. Tyler struggles to follow his example, breath hitching and shuddering. Josh repeats his breath, mouth right next to Tyler's ear as he traces gentle circles onto Tyler's back.
Slowly Tyler is able to replicate Josh's breaths, only broken occasionally by a hiccup or a sniff. "There we go. Good job, Ty," Josh whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of Tyler's head.
Tyler pulls back, his face a mess. His eyes are bloodshot, cheeks wet and flushed, nose red. Josh wipes the tears from under Tyler's eyes with the pad of his thumb.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was mad and didn't let you talk and explain. I was just- I was confused and scared and I don't know how much was ever real and-"
"It's okay, Tyler. That makes sense, I'd be confused if you weren't feeling upset with me. It's natural. You thought I was with you for six years and all of a sudden you find out I was here the whole time without any warning. It's okay, I'm not upset."
"You didn't deserve it, though. I should've heard you out before I snapped at you."
"You're okay. I promise."
Tyler looks down at the ground, picking at the skin around his nail. Josh frowns, grasping Tyler's hand in his to stop him.
"What's on your mind?"
Tyler sighs, squeezing Josh's hand. "It's just… I don't understand. I thought you were with me all that time, I saw you. I can't tell what was real. I don't even know if this is real."
Josh lets out a slow breath, guilt setting in rapidly. "This is real Ty, I promise you that. And you weren't just seeing me or anything, I was there. But I was also here." Josh has to stop himself from laughing when he sees the confusion on Tyler's face. "I have a power, I can project myself to people in need. It's my power to guide, I guess. It's strongest with you, I don't know why. But it allowed me to stay with you nearly all the time for all six years. I couldn't always be with you, I still had responsibilities in camp. But I stayed with you as much as I could. I promise you, Ty. I was with you as much as I possibly could."
Tyler nods slowly, rubbing his thumb against Josh's hand. "Okay," he whispers. "I'm sorry for snapping. Thank you."
"Hey, I've already told you not to apologise. You're okay, I understand. It's okay."
Tyler knows he's got a lot going on and a lot he needs to do and face in the very near future, but for now he's content to stay in Josh's arms, letting him whisper comfort into his ear, running a hand through his hair.