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Through Your Eyes, I See Me (For the First Time)

Summary:

Eren Jaeger is a bit of a loser, a loner if you will– save for his best friend and sister– but no matter how amazing they were, he felt broken. Alone. Ever since he was a kid, he’s always had massive eyebags due to insomnia. A face full of watercolor bruises splashed across his body from all the fights he got into. His grades were a mess, and so was his hair

But that all changed when sudden memories of a missing father and unknown injections reappeared after an idiot bully went after Armin. Next thing he knew, The Coordinate was born.

Or, or, Eremin spiderman au

Notes:

is this a rewrite of my aidlyn spider fic? yes.

i love the thought of an eremin spiderman au and would love to make more original works of it... but i haven't ever written them before.

so! consider this my test run to see how i can fit their characters into my writing style

this isn't a complete copy, obviously things are changed since eren isn't exactly similar to aiden in a lot of aspects, as well as ash and armin, etc, etc

hopefully i did these two their justice...

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 Eren Jaeger is a bit of a loser, a loner if you will– save for his best friend and sister– but no matter how amazing they were, he felt broken. Alone. Ever since he was a kid, he’s always had massive eyebags due to insomnia. A face full of watercolor bruises splashed across his body from all the fights he got into. His grades were a mess, and so was his hair.

 

 His room looked like a tornado hit it, the stench of old, stacked cups of ramen noodles filling his senses as he zoned out on his popcorn ceiling for the next three hours. Mikasa would be home then, and with her, Armin. Still, he wanted to do something, there was always that familiar itch in his blood– ever present since his father disappeared.

 

 Well, anyway. Eren Jaeger was a loner. But it all changed when the audacity of a low-life bully tested his patience and went after Armin. Now, this wasn’t an uncommon occurence. Usually, he’d barrel right into the guy and throw punches until either Mikasa or Armin began holding him back. But that wasn’t the case this time, because as soon as he saw a fist raising to meet Armin’s pretty pale face– because he was pretty, don’t fight him on this–, he lost it.

 

 And suddenly, memories of his father from years ago flashed through his head. His father looked sickly pale and horrified as he crushed a spider without an ounce of remorse, over, and over, until there was nothing but liquid. Like any normal person, his father poured its remains into a syringe… something about a basement? But they’d moved years ago, why–

 

 Then Eren remembered the pain.

 

 And, of course, the usual followed. Eren woke up that morning after being suspended from school for the fifth time that semester drenched in sweat and heavily overstimulated. The rustle of the curtains made him flinch, and his usually low appetite had skyrocketed. The freshly turned sixteen-year-old ran downstairs to the kitchen for the first time in what felt like weeks and ate a meal worthy for a family of two.

 

 Oh yeah, and he could shoot webs and climb on walls. Eren chalked that up to puberty, what else could it be? Junior year really was something… puberty twice… no one told him about that.

 

 Okay, okay, jokes aside, Eren was essentially a human spider. And what does one do when one wakes up with superpowers and the overwhelming urge to do something with it? Become a superhero, obviously. 

 

 A superhero that just a couple weeks after his debut of stopping a bank robbery in the great city of Queens, bit a little more than he could chew.

 

 The Marlyeans. A dangerous organization that genetically manufactured humans into zombie like creatures. They had no genitals, zero clothes, and too-big smiles ready to chomp down on the next unsuspecting human in a mile radius. Safe to say, that was a traumatizing week.

 

And lately, the monsters have been getting bigger. They were already tall enough to begin with, averaging around seven to ten feet. Hence the now dubbed name the media had given them… Titans.

 

 If you had to ask Eren, what was the biggest downside to being a masked vigilante fighting literal blood-thirsty cannibalistic Titans? Well, he’d say that he felt more alone than ever.

 

 He was surrounded by thousands of people that loved and applauded him every time he saved the city from whatever shit The Marlyeans had cooked up. He even had his own fan base! Horseface couldn’t say crap to that. Sometimes Eren would be scrolling through Tiktok and you know those cool as shit edits of famous people doing even cooler stuff with a song cover over it? Those, but imagine Eren in his suit fighting Titans and making dumb jokes.

 

 It made it even better when his new friends or Armin and Mikasa would fond over video tapes of the hero.

 

 But being Coordinate also meant that you got hurt. A lot. You saw some scary shit. And he couldn’t tell anyone about it. Eren wasn’t dumb, he knew that anyone who figured out his identity would be in danger. The Marlyeans made that especially clear. 

 

 So. Another near-death encounter with a Titan? Almost bled out in an alleyway before finally making it home and patching yourself up in the bathroom? Witnessed a person getting mauled by a Titan because you couldn’t save them in time? Shucks, that’s just too bad. 

 

 He couldn’t tell his mom, she wasn't there half the time anyway, making sneaking out to save the city easier at least. His sister, Mikasa, was a fairly light sleeper, so that was an obstacle to get around sometimes, but he  couldn’t tell her either.

 

Eren loved his mother, and he loved his adopted sister, Mikasa just as much if not more. So much in fact, that he couldn’t even think about telling his family about his new second life. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if either of them got hurt just because Eren was too weak to shoulder the burden he’d chosen to carry.

 

So, yeah. He’d say that was probably the worst part of being Coordinate. And the fact that Mikasa and Armin were starting to get suspicious, the first day he showed up actually smiling ear-to-ear, they’d assumed Jean had fallen down the stairs.

 

They weren’t wrong, he had indeed, fell down the stairs with a frantic Marco fleeting after him. But that wasn’t the point.

 

Being Coordinate was thrilling, and it gave him that sense of purpose his body so desperately craved. Part of the reason he’d been so down in the dumps before his epiphany was the fact that his life was always the same. This city was bustling with people and opportunities… but Armin put it best.

 

He wanted more. He wanted to see more.

 

And maybe these new found powers could help him do it.

 

I really need to figure out a way to make swinging less of a pain on my wrists, dammit, Eren scowled painfully under the mask. Maybe he could convince Armin to make something for him without totally giving away his identity.

 

Eren groaned as he shot another web at a building, his wrists protesting in pain. But it was far less painful compared to the rakes across his chest.

 

“Dammit,” Eren grunted. “I’m fine, this is fine.” The blood coating his green-and-black suit disagreed.

 

Finally, when Eren’s head began to spin, the tall buildings morphed into houses. He swung one last time and landed on his wall, grateful it was dark outside for once. Usually dark meant Moonlight-Titans; Titans where, despite the sun being completely gone, could still function using the small amount of life from the moon. They were rare, but they were dangerous. The relief Eren felt crawling up to his window didn’t keep his eyes from darting around instinctfully, looking for any too-tall-butt-naked morbid monsters.

 

When he spotted nothing lurking in the shadows, he ripped off his mask. His growing hair sticking to the nape of his neck uncomfortably. He felt around for the window latch as he reminded himself that Mikasa should still be at Armin’s for another study session–

 

Armin.

 

I didn’t get to see him today, Eren thought offhandedly as he muttered curses under his breath and unlatched the window. Armin, his best friend since he was a ruffy child, playing in the dirt of the local parks. Armin whom he loved, and Armin who he discovered that that same love had, without his knowing, morphed into something more. Armin, who he would never be able to tell about these feelings, for his own safety.

 

And the fact that he just wasn’t the right fit for the golden boy. Blond, silky hair like sunflowers. A laugh splashed in golden hour hues. Blue eyes like the salty ocean, pooling with possibilities and intelligence.

 

Then there was Eren with his dirt brown, messy hair. Loud laughter and rough smile lines. Green-teal eyes that could never seem to decide what color they wanted to be that day because they were just as confused as he was in math. He was nothing like Armin.

 

And he knows what that sounds like, Eren must have a big fat high-school crush on him. And the answer? He didn’t know. To be fair, how could he? Eren zoned out as he tried to shove the pain to the very back of his mind and crawled inside. I mean, he’s pretty. Really pretty. And smart, surprisingly good leader, too– I could like him? I don’t know the first thing about that stuff though, Eren thought, shutting the the window. Come on, Eren, you’ve been locked up in your room all alone except for Mikasa for half your life, what’re you thinking? And don’t try to comfort him, because he knew it was true. He’d never taken any sort of romantic interest in anybody before, so the fact that he started thinking about Armin in that way? He just didn’t know what to do.

 

Eren threw the mask aside, dragging his hands down his face, and turned around. Armin, “This is bull, I can’t be that dumb!” Eren was exasperated as he threw his arms in the air, quickly retracting them when his wounds were pulled painfully. “Ow, ow, ow, crap, nevermind,–”

 

He stopped abruptly when he realized there was someone else in the room. 

 

Miffed blue eyes stared at him, face laced with shock as his mouth hung open. The same boy that Eren’s eyes trailed after day-by-day during classes, the same blond hair and pale skin. “What the fuck?” Armin Arlert deadpanned.

 

Eren blinked, forgetting to respond because wow, is this really how we had to have our first conversation in what felt like weeks (a couple days) had to start? “...I can explain–” But then his body snapped him out of it rudely with sharp pinpricks of pain. The adrenaline was all gone by this point, leaving only his marred chest to scream for some proper healthcare.

 

“Nope, nevermind, fuck,” Eren hissed, dropping to his knees.

 

Armin shook the shock out of his face as he shot up, the homework he’d been procrastinating forgotten. “You’re hurt!”

 

“Great observation, thanks, Armin,” Eren winced with furrowed brows.

 

Armin resisted the urge to glare at Eren as he looked around for a medkit or anything to just stop the bleeding. It only took him a half-second to remember it was in the top left cabinet in the bathroom. 

 

He rushed into the bathroom to the left. Eren could hear him rummaging, and a moment later, the medkit was in his hands and he was beside him on the ground. Blood dripped onto the wooden floor, and Eren silently thanked whatever god was listening that his room wasn’t carpet.

 

“Take off your shirt,” Armin demanded. 

 

“...What,” Eren coughed, mouth hung open. He didn’t imagine that this is how his daydreams would come to life– Oh.

 

Armin narrowed his eyes impatiently.

 

Oh.

 

 

Eren took off his shirt.

 

Unclipping the medkit, Armin pulled out the antiseptic and wraps.

 

“Oh, damn, not that!” Eren complained. “Just wrap it up, I regenerate anyway–” There was no point in hiding that ability, everyone knew that Coordinate could regenerate. It had caused a lot of discourse, seeing as the Titans could regenerate just the same.

 

Armin ignored him. “Is Coordinate really complaining to me about a little sting compared to the giant rips across his chest?” He quirked his eyebrow, as if begging Eren to test him. He was being surprisingly calm about the whole situation, and if Eren was being honest, something in his stomach squirmed pleasantly at that.

 

Eren bit his tongue, momentarily forgetting that Armin knew his identity now. Whatever. That was a problem for future Eren. 

 

Armin gave him a look that read that’s what I thought, before uncapping the antiseptic. Eren’s eyes widened nervously. “Okay, hold on, Armin! We can talk about this, remember? I regenerate, I don’t need to–”

 

 Eren was cut off rudely by a scream. Who’s was it? He had no idea, because he sure as hell knew that high pitch squeal did not come for his mouth.

 

 

“So,” Armin said as he began wrapping Eren’s wounds. “My best friend is the Great Coordinate. My best friend who, up until this summer, did nothing but stay in his room and eat instant ramen, has been saving the city these past several months.”

 

“Wow, did your research, huh?” Eren said quietly, smiling, then wincing as he tugged on the wrap. “Okay, okay, my bad!”

 

“I didn’t even notice,” Armin said eventually, almost more to himself.

 

Eren’s smile dropped for a second, but only a second. “...Hey, Armin, listen, I’m sorry–”

 

 “How long have you been getting… hurt, like this?” Armin cut him off, his voice resolute.

 

Eren didn’t answer that one. A pit of guilt settled in his stomach. Of course Armin worried about him, why wouldn’t he? I’m not that bad anymore, Eren reasoned. I still don’t get that much sleep, probably less than before…but I’m happy with what I do.  

 

Sighing, he looked away from Armins prying eyes. “...I’m sorry, Armin.”

 

Armin didn’t respond, and Eren definitely did not notice the hurt that flashed across his face.

 

The room was dark, save for the lamps on the desk near Eren’s bed, right next the mini fridge Sasha had gotten him a couple weeks ago. Maybe making new friends did have its perks. 

 

They were quiet for a moment as Armin continued to wrap Eren’s chest up. He was close. Like, really close. Eren didn’t think he noticed, his face pinched in concentration.

 

“...I thought you guys were studying at your place today?” Eren asked. That’s what Mikasa had told him at least.

 

“We were, but my grandparents came over out of nowhere with some old friends. So I thought we could come here so I could– well, we thought you’d be lonely.”

 

Eren’s eye twitched, noticing the hesitation but refusing to comment on it. He’d pick this conversation apart later anyway, if Armin didn’t end up sleeping over. “Ah, alright,” He wouldn’t have been caught then, but his grandparents chose today of all days for some family-friend reunion. 

 

So Mikasa was here, but where was she? And did she bring anyone else over? He didn’t see any bookbags besides Armin’s and his sister’s. But could they be downstairs, would they come up here anytime soon? That was bad, he couldn’t have everyone else figuring out his identity! He’d already put Armin in danger from now on, Eren wasn’t sure if he could protect all of them.

 

Armin read his mind and pinched his arm, releasing him from his stupor. “Ow!”

 

“Relax. Everyone else already went home,” Armin said, referring to the usual Connie, Sasha, and Jean. “And my grandparents said I could stay over.” He added quickly, like an afterthought as he looked at a visibly relaxing Eren through his bangs. Eren breathed, reassured that he wouldn’t be exposed to several other people today. “Mikasa and I moved up here after everyone left, she went downstairs to get some snacks and trying to call your phone. Do you know how late it is?”

 

Eren thought back to the Titan from earlier, its giant nails piercing right through his phone from where it clattered to the groan when he swung out of the way, just scarcely avoiding getting stabbed. “Crap,” He sighed apologetically, scratching his neck. Mikasa might just kill him later.

 

Armin finally finished addressing his wounds, humming at his work appreciatively. Eren stared at Armin for a moment, wondering how the heck he got here. He went from being resigned to pine from a distance (metaphorically, of course. Eren was always with Armin, and Armin was always with Eren)– platonically, obviously. Or– ugh– never mind– to sitting with him in the dark of his room as he fixed him up after a particularly bad encounter with a Titan.

 

“Are you okay? Did the blood loss finally get to you?” Armin asked, snapping his fingers in front of Eren’s face.

 

Eren coughed, looking away. “Yeah, sorry– wait no, I’m just… tired.”

 

“I mean, seeing as Queen’s masked hero is actually a kid in high school, I would guess you need your nap time. No wonder you always fall asleep during maths.”

 

“Exactly– wait, what?”

 

Armin smiled, laughing that quiet laugh. And God, why did such a small thing send Eren’s heart running?

 

Step.

 

Step.

 

Step.

 

The couple shot up at the same time, Eren biting back a yell of pain as his skin tugged at the still regenerate stomach-hole. Shit, that must be Mikasa, Eren panicked.

 

Armin looked around for an excuse before quickly rushing to the bathroom and turning the lights on. “Uh– Mikasa! Wait, I’m using the bathroom…and uhm shit– I left the door open!”

 

“Since when has that been an issue?” Mikasa’s genuinely confused voice said from the hallway.

 

Armin blinked before groaning silently as he dragged his hands down his face, looking like he’d much rather her walk in on him in the bathroom butt-naked than say his next words. “I left the door open… and I’m having… guy problems.”

 

The footsteps immediately came to a halt, quickly turning and walking away. Eren almost laughed as Mikasa called, “You could’ve started with that!” Before fading back downstairs.

 

“You’re using the bathroom and left the door open?” Eren snickered. “Guy problems?” 

 

Armin’s face turned red for the first time. “Shut up! You’re lucky I came up with an excuse at all, Coordinate. I mean, what kind of a name is that! Are you a place on a map?”

 

“You’re right, sorry, sorry.” But the teasing grin never left his face. “And come on, I didn’t come up with that name, the Marleyans did! I thought you knew that.”

 

It was true. Eren was in his room after his third fight sitting at his desk and reviewing the news report from the fight earlier today. He just so happened to be penciling some names for his alter-ego, and he was this close to going with Spiderman (get it?) until the reporter finally said something that caught his attention.

 

As Eren’s fist clenched around his green pencil, the reporter was talking about the new article published that day. Apparently, people had overheard that the Maryleans supposed leader (what was his name again..? Something with a Z.) were calling him a name during their one-on-one… the coordinate. And so, that was how their new masked vigilante got his name. The Coordinate.

 

Eren went to sleep in a fit that night.

 

What the hell did Coordinate mean?!

 

Armin rolled his eyes and walked to the drawers pushed against the forest green wall. “Hey, what’re you doing?” Eren asked, confused.

 

Ignoring him, Armin opened a random drawer full of Eren’s clothes and grabbed a dark blue hoodie with a smiling skull on the front, and black pants. “Here, change,” he said, throwing the clothes at him.

 

He caught them, his eyes trailing back to Armin as the boy grabbed a pair of his shoes and socks by his bed. He picked up the socks with a pinch of his fingers and put them in his shoes, not wanting to touch them longer than he had to. He was his best friend, he had more than the faintest idea of where they’d been.

 

Eren blinked. “Why–”

 

Armin resisted the urge to groan, instead pinching the bridge of his nose like it should be obvious. “You are going to change and crawl out of your window with your weird spider powers and act like you just got home from the library! Or…” He looked around the room, an invisible lightbulb shining above her head as he spotted a familiar skateboard. He grabbed it and shoved it into the growing pile in his arms. “Skateboarding! You just got back from skateboarding. Now, go!”

 

“Armin, I can’t just climb out of my window, someone will see,” Eren argued as Armin shoved him toward the window.

 

“That didn’t stop you from climbing in before,” He whispered impatiently. “Now, go!”

 

“Okay! Jeez,” Eren said, turning around and grabbing his hands to stop the boy frmo further pushing him. “I need to change first.”

 

A quick (long) minute later of dropping his things on the ground and changing while Armin had to drag his eyes to the ceiling to keep from looking, Eren was changed, and the Coordinate was gone, stuffed into the very bottom of his school bag. Armin looked him over and nodded. “Great, now hurry up and get out 'cause Mikasa is probably hurling downstairs,” Armin winced. 

 

Eren nodded and walked to the window, keeping his skateboard secure in one arm. Just as he unlocked it and began to step out, Armin called his name. “Yeah?” He asked.

 

“I like your hair,” Armin said again, rushed as he looked away, the floor suddenly much more interesting than Eren’s face. “You let it grow out, and I never got to say anything about it,” he rambled on, kicking his feet. “I like the… bun.”

 

Eren touched his dark hair absentmindedly. He wouldn’t tell anyone, least of all Mikasa, but Eren had grown his hair out because Armin liked to play with Mikasa’s hair, since it was long and all. But then she’d cut it, and Armin hadn’t been able to braid it like he used to.

 

“I’m… glad,” Eren said eventually, smiling roughly. “I thought you’d like it, I just don’t know how else to keep it up…” Eren waited, the obvious implication of you should do something about it, Armin please, I did this for you hanging in the air as Armin brightened. 

 

“I can braid it! Or I can look up some styles, we can do it together!”

 

Eren breathed a sigh of relief quietly as he nodded, “Sounds good, Armin,” He clung to the wall as he looked at Armin’s slightly flushed face of excitement. “See you soon.”

 

Then, he closed the window and crawled down his wall to the first floor. The cold air bit into him as he made his way to the front door, opening it just as a car pulled up. The bright headlights startled him as they sped past his house and down the road. That was close.

 

Just as he was about to knock for Mikasa to open up, he heard steps from inside. The door swung open to reveal Armin, looking slightly breathless as he smiled. “Eren!” And fuck, Eren almost melted right there.

 

Mikasa came up behind him, smiling when she realized Eren had come home, relieved, before her smile then turned into an annoyed frown. “Eren, where the hell have you been? It’s late! You’re lucky mom is out with her friends right now.”

 

“Sorry, Mikasa” Eren grumbled, looking like a scolded child as he glanced at Armin again. His eyes screamed at him, pointedly looking at his skateboard then back up at him.

 

Eren blinked before taking his hand absentmindedly, not noticing how Armin flinched in surprise (never out of fear. Never.). “I was out skateboarding, I lost track of time.” Armin squeezed his hand back, nodding decidedly as he risked a glance at Mikasa to see if she bought the excuse.

 

Mikasa gave her brother a hard look, glaring as she took him apart with her milky eyes. “...Right, well we were worried. Call me next time, instead of ignoring my calls cause you know I’ll give your ass when you get back.”

 

 Armin agreed quietly with a hum before letting his hand drop from Eren’s. 

 

“Right,” Eren agreed quietly, holding himself back from chasing after his hand.

 

 Mikasa scrutinized him a moment more before stepping aside and letting him into the house. “Armin’s sleeping over tonight, we just finished our homework.”

 

 Eren followed the two inside as Armin suggested they watch a movie or two, then Mikasa suggested instead, a marathon of a show they’d started recently. Attack on… something.

 

 “I’ll make the popcorn,” Mikasa said eagerly before her smile dropped into a haunted face. “If Sasha didn’t eat it all earlier.” She bolted to the kitchen. 

 

 “Thank goodness,” Armin sighed, putting a hand over his heart as he closed his eyes.

 

 Eren remained silent, watching Armin with swirling eyes as he picked at his bitten-down nails.

 

 Armin knew who he was, and there was no ignoring that now.

 

 He’d have to eventually face the fact that Armin was now in danger. Constant danger. And that was scary.

 

 Eren didn’t know what he would do with himself if something ever happened to the golden boy because of his carelessness.

 

 Yet at the same time, as Armin opened his eyes and smiled at him, he couldn’t help the twinge of guilt that rose from the fact that he was… glad that Armin knew.

 

 Eren silently took Armin’s hands in his own, reassured by the cool contact against his own too-warm warmth. “...Armin, I really am sorry about not telling you,” Eren said gently as he fiddled with their hands. “I couldn’t–”

 

 “You couldn’t tell me,” Armin finished for him. “I get it. I’d be in danger, right? The Marlyeans would use me against you because I’m important to you. It’s okay.”

 

 He said it in such a rush that Eren didn’t have much to say, so he just clamped his mouth shut, a bit flushed as he nodded.

 

 Armin was important to Erin.

 

 Anyone could tell you that.

 

 And it was important than no one told the Maryleans, specifically.

 

 Still, Eren felt guilty for not telling Armin about this secret. They were in it together, they were in for everything together. And obviously, keeping something from him would never last for that exact reason.

 

 The pale yellow walls of the home seemed to house just them too in that moment as Eren focused on the contrast of smooth against rough.

 

 “You’re important to me,” Eren said again, as if to reassure Armin. “You’re going to be in a lot of danger now, all the time, more than all the time.”

 

 Armin bit his lip, but nodded resolutely. 

 

 “It’s worth it,” He said, smiling. “You shouldn’t have had to be alone in this. You’re my best friend, and honestly, I’m surprised Mikasa hasn’t figured this out for herself yet,” Armin laughed, breathy. “But, if anyone were to find out, and this may sound really selfish–”

 

 “I’m glad it was you,” Eren blurted, looking sheepish as Armin’s bright blue eyes stared into him, wide. “If you’re selfish, than so am I. I’m glad you know.”

 

 Armin smiled, the shine in his eyes turning glassy. Like reflective pools that Eren could get lost in forever, or two-thousand years, it felt like he was seeing himself through Eren’s eyes for the first time.

 

 And God, he looked happy.

 

Notes:

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