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"Watari-san." Light offers the man a kind smile, ignoring the obvious surprise on his face.
"Yagami-kun." Watari gives Light a quick look over before grabbing his spray bottle and dousing Light in a pheromone stabilizer. "Your father just left."
Light wonders if the pheromone stabilizer will even work. Pheromone stabilizers, especially the low-strength one that L uses, have very specific perimeters and guidelines. Light figures he no longer meets the criteria, but he doesn't exactly want to mention that to the old man. Light is here to see L because of his... condition, and he doesn't need Watari interfering. The older Beta already seems weary of having Light (an unmated Omega) around L (an unmated Alpha). Light needs to convince Watari that everything is fine.
"I'm actually here to talk to L." Upon seeing Watari's brow crease, Light decides he needs to be more convincing. If Watari doesn't buy Light's innocent, cute façade, he won't be able to see L, and Light might end up dead. "I've just been thinking about the whole incident with Kyosuke Higuchi. I have an idea I need to share."
"It's been four months." Watari lets out a deep sigh, shaking his head. "Well, I suppose you can come in. L has missed you greatly. It's been a month since you last stopped by."
"Yeah. I've been busy with work," lies Light, the practiced words falling from his lips with ease. He has been working more hours for the extra money, but he has also purposefully avoiding L. He never planned on seeing L again, at least until Mikami truly fucked up everything. Thinking about Mikami almost causes Light to gag. "Being away has given me some much needed time to think."
"Of course, Yagami-kun." Watari opens the door, leading Light to the conference room.
L is sitting on his white leather chair, his feet propped up on the desk. His tongue is wrapped around the opening of an applesauce— at least, Light thinks it's applesauce— pouch, and he continues to play with it in a manner Light wishes he would stop. He stares at the computer screens on the wall, either unknowing or uncaring of their approach. L looks so incredibly gentle and kind. Light can only hope and pray that L is in a merciful mood; Light needs all the forgiveness and compassionate he can get. He whirls around when Watari knocks on the door, smiling when he sees Light.
"Light-kun," greets L, his face going blank. "Watari-san, you can leave us now."
"I'm sorry, L. I cannot do that." Watari gives Light a dirty look. "He smells of something vile."
"Watari-san, you are not allowed to speak about Omegas like that." L scowls at Watari, gesturing him away with a lazy flick of his hand. "You sprayed him with the spray. I am in complete control of all of my reactions."
"It isn't you I don't trust," mutters Watari, shooting Light another look.
Light wonders if he knows his little secret. Watari does seems to possess no small amount of connections, and it would only take one person to ruin everything. If Mikami told anyone in his office about what he did, they could have run their mouths somewhere they shouldn't have. Light trusted Mikami once, and that is a mistake that he is going to pay dearly for.
"Watari—"
"No." Watari turns to face L. "I refuse to allow him to corrupt you. He smells of—"
"Fine." L sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can go stand outside. Some of my shirts need ironing anyways."
Watari seems irritated by the order, but he doesn't dare contradict L too much in front of Light. "I understand. I will close the door behind me. Should you need anything, just summon for me."
L gives Watari a cute smile that softens the old man's expression. "Thank you, Watari-san."
Watari bows before exiting the room, closing the door behind him. He heads over to the ironing board, taking a white shirt out of the pile. Light watches as he lets the iron heat up before pressing it to L's signature shirt. Light wonders if Watari ever hates being L's personal assistant and butler, but he stops when he remembers that the man seems to adore L. His whole world revolves around L.
"Light-kun, I didn't know you were so interested in ironing." L offers him a playful smirk, getting up and moving over to the conference table. He gestures for Light to take a seat next to him. "Please, take a seat."
"Thank you."
"I assume there is a reason you wanted to meet with me privately." L tilts his head, staring at Light with his unblinking eyes. He puts his thumb to his mouth, licking it. "You haven't been by in a month."
"I know." Light scratches the back of his neck, hoping desperately that the awkwardness dissipates soon. Light doesn't know where to start. "L, I have an important question for you."
"As expected."
"What are you going to do when you catch Kira?"
L frowns at the question. "The penalty is still set to be death. I could argue for a lesser sentence, if I was feeling generous."
"And if Kira admitted to being Kira and said he wanted to give it up, what then?"
"Is Light-kun confessing?"
"L, answer the question!" snaps Light.
"Answer mine." L licks his lips. "Are you Kira?"
"Why won't you answer my question?"
"Fine!" L huffs irritably. "If you are Kira and surrender to me, I'll protect you. I'll require a good bit of information from you, but I'd be willing to protect you."
"Good." Light figures he should get the next part over with. "And if I need additional attention?"
"Such as?" L's nostrils flare, and his eyes widen. If the situation wasn't as serious, Light would laugh. "Dear God, Light-kun, are you... well, I don't know how to respectfully phrase this. Please forgive my bluntness. Light-kun, are you expecting pups?"
Light takes off his oversized blazer, his hand unconscious moving towards his stomach. He's starting to show, but he has been able to hide it so far. "Yes. They are why I'm doing this."
L remains silent.
"Please talk to me here, L." Light can't stand the uncomfortable silence. He wants to crawl out of his skin and find a place to hide until this is over.
"I figured you wouldn't be able to carry pups." L continues staring at him. "I knew you had the anatomy for it— around eighty percent of Omega males do. I just figured..."
"Figured what?"
"I figured that the Death Note would corrupt you to the point that such things became impossible. Once you taint an Omega, you taint all the Omega instincts." L starts biting on his thumb. "If you are this far along, it means you would have had sexual intercourse around sixteen weeks ago. That would have been right after the Kyosuke Higuchi incident."
"Correct." Light frowns at the thought of Mikami's hand trailing up his thigh, pushing Light apart so that he could use Light for his own pleasure. "It was to celebrate. I... I asked one of the other Kiras to strike you down, and we worked out a plan. After all the planning was done, one of them brought me to their house. I'm sure you don't need the additional details."
L shook his head. "You planned on killing me, yet you want my protection. Why?"
Light grimaces at L's wording. L isn't wrong, but it is uncomfortable to think about. "Their father doesn't want me to keep my pups. I want my pups! I want my pups to survive, and I want to be able to safely raise them."
"You are aware of the fact that most Alphas don't want to raise another Alpha's pups, correct?" L eyes his stomach. "Not only would I be responsible for you, but them. What would I even be to them? The man who allows their father not to be executed?"
"L," whined Light, his eyes filling with tears. "Please. I just want my pups to be safe. I want to hold them and nurture them and love them. I know that this is a deeply uncomfortable situation, but I truly need your help. I need them to grow up in a world where I'm not actively Kira."
L studies him for a moment before smiling. "I said most Alphas, Light-kun. I'm willing to be an exception."
"Really?"
"Mmm," replies L, stretching. "I am rather curious what you are capable of when you aren't obsessed with the Death Note. I believe I can justify letting you off in exchange for a few things."
"Such as?"
L stands up, grabbing a notebook and a pen. He hurries back to his chair, clicking the pen. "I need the name of the other Kiras."
"Amane Misa." Light watches as L writes down her name. "Mikami Teru."
"I assume that Mikami-san is the father?" L's tone fills with disgust as he says his name.
"Correct." Light tries not to think about Mikami calling him a desperate whore. "I don't really want to see him again. He has said some pretty vile things. I would hate to see what he would say if he saw me again."
"Pathetic bastard." L shakes his head. "I always wanted pups. I was told that I am unable to ever have any biological pups. How could you not want your pups if your partner is pregnant with them and wants to keep them?"
"You wanted pups?" It seems so out-of-character for L to want something so... domestic. Light imagined that L barely had time for anyone, but Light admits that— maybe— he doesn't know L as well as he hoped to.
"Yeah." L gains a fond smile. "I have an adopted pup though. They're rather dear. I suppose you'll get to meet them at some point."
"I hope so."
"I also need to know the special precautions I need to take to arrest them. I am aware that they can kill with a face and name, but is there any way to get around that?" L clicks the pen. "I can't afford to make any mistakes."
"No." Light thinks to himself for a moment. "Unless they can correctly recall someone's face and write down their name without error, it cannot be done. So, as a special precaution, send agents that Misa has never seen to arrest her. She knows everyone here."
"Understood." L jots down a note. "Now, I need something personal."
"I expected as much."
"I need to know how you want me to set things up." L looks up at Light before looking back down at his notepad. "I want all the nursery details. I want to know where you feel most comfortable living. Are you okay with traveling? What role would you like to take on for your pups? Do you feel more comfortable with a female doctor? Do you need any sort of prenatal vitamins?"
Light wishes that L was the pups' father. It isn't the first time he has had that thought, but L's questions brings him back to that train of thought. Mikami was so angry when he found out that Light was pregnant; he wouldn't stop yelling that Light needed to schedule an abortion before it was too late, even after Light explained that he wanted his pups. L, on the other hand, is incredibly attentive. He has asked Light more questions in the past thirty minutes than Mikami ever has. If L were their father, they would be well cared for. Light might actually have a partner that loves him. Light dismisses the thought when he realizes exactly how sad it makes him.
"I'm comfortable wherever you are," answers Light slowly. "I prefer to be able to set things up somewhere and stay for a little while. I really don't want to give birth in an airplane."
"Understandable."
"As far as prenatal care, I haven't had any." Light winces at L's expression. "I couldn't tell anyone. If my father found out, he'd have my head. If I can get an appointment, I'll do whatever I'm ordered."
"I'll call tomorrow." L scribbles into the notebook. "Do you have a gender preference for your doctor?"
Light shrugs. "Not really."
"Sounds good." L gives him a thumbs up. "We should probably get you a room set up before you get too tired. You're not leaving now that I know you're Kira."
"I expected that." Light stands up, following L's lead. "And to answer your other question, you can have whatever role you want to."
"Don't say that, Light-kun." L looks at him with almost pitiful eyes. "I'll take you up on that offer. Don't offer things that you don't plan on giving."
"I was serious," rebuttals Light in a calm tone. "You can be whatever you want."
"Can I be their father?"
"Hmm?" Light goes silent for a moment, thinking over what L said. "If you want to. It would be beneficial for the pups to have two parents."
"Beneficial to them or you?" L gives Light a smirk.
"Both." Light stretches, his body stiff. Everything hurts, and Light knows his body will only grow sorer during his pregnancy. "It'd be nice. Being a single father was a lot for my father. I'm not really sure how to be a parent."
"And you think I know how to be a dad?" L smiles at the thought.
"I mean, you have an heir that you're looking over," answers Light, turning around to grab his blazer. He lazily puts it back on, wrapping his arms around himself. "I have no experience. I'm not really sure how to be a parent. I've been so busy worried about outsmarting you that I've forgotten that plan for other things— not that I planned on having pups!"
"I figured, Light-kun." L gives him a playful look, raising an eyebrow. "I know you didn't plan on having pups. That puts you at a strategic disadvantage."
"Of course it does. It's a lot harder to keep killing people when you are preparing to have pups. It just feels like I should be doing better for them." Light sighs, unsure why he keeps talking. "I really thought I was doing the right thing. I was creating a world free of murderers, rapists, thieves, and all the other criminal scum. But when I fell pregnant with my pups, my viewpoint changed. I just wanted to be away from all the death."
L studies him for a moment, tilting his head. He looks away after a moment. "It is rather noble of you to offer your life for theirs. You had no idea if I would accept your plea, and I could have had you killed. Perhaps your pups are awakening emotions you haven't felt in a while."
"Yeah." Light follows L out of the conference room. "I don't like thinking about it too much. It makes me dizzy."
"Developing morals can do that." L smiles that sharklike grin before addressing Watari. "Watari-san, please ready the room next to mine. Light-kun will be staying with us."
"The pups aren't yours, correct?" Watari's face remains impassive, but Light knows Watari is praying the pups aren't L's.
"They aren't mine," admits L slowly. "However, we have decided that I am going to help Light-kun parent them."
"What?" Watari looks between the two of them, an incredulous expression on his face. "L, surely you need more time to think this over! You just found out. Take some time to think things over before you make such... grand promises to anyone."
"I did think it over," promises L reassuringly. "I want to do this."
"Why?" asks Watari, although he no longer looks as upset.
"I... I don't really know why," admits L in a conflicted tone. "You know I've always wanted pups. I do rather like Light-kun. It just feels... right."
Watari rubs his chin contemplatively. "It could be some sort of Alpha instinct. However, that instinct would depend on you having preexisting feelings for Yagami-kun."
L's jaw drops before it closes. "Well, thanks for that Watari."
"Oh!" Light blushes at the implications. He never thought that L would actually like him. L was so self-righteous, so above Light. L is a detective, a good force in the world; Light is a killer, an evil force plaguing the world. "I didn't know that. Umm..."
"You don't have to say anything," replies L, ushering Light away. "I won't let my personal feelings get in the way. I'll make sure you have everything you need."
"I don't mind," says Light quickly. He follows after L, his feet beginning to throb. "Do you like me?"
"I don't really know." L sighs, stalling for a moment. "I've never had feelings for anyone before. I don't really know what I feel."
"I understand." Of course Light understands. He has never cared about anyone enough to give up the Death Note, until his pups entered the picture. He tried his absolute hardest to love his family and his friends, but he struggled to do it. The Death Note clouded his emotions, but Light had always struggled to regulate his emotions. He overthought things to an unhealthy point— he would destroy everything he worked for because it felt unrealistic that people could truly love someone as messy as Light. "You don't actually owe me anything."
L gives him a strange look. "I appreciate the reassurance." He continues down the hallway, leading Light down a side hallway. He stops outside a black door without any numbers on it, opening it. "This is going to be your room. I hope it is up to your standards. I admit it is rather... unwelcoming. If we end up staying here long enough, I'll see to it that a few things are fixed."
Light steps into the room, unsure what exactly L is talking about. A large bed white a fluffy white quilt and soft pillows sits in the middle of the room, and a table with a decent-sized television sits near the door. The walk-in closet has no door and remains completely empty; Light wonders if he'll be allowed to have any clothes from home— he won't even fit in most of it much longer. There is another door on the same wall, and Light assumes it leads to the bathroom. On the wall opposite the closet, a door is placed in the middle of the wall.
"The door leads to my room. Should you need anything, you can get me. I don't keep it locked." L stares at Light. "Make yourself comfy. We have a few more things we need to do."
Light sighs in relief, stepping out of his shoes. He folds his blazer, neatly setting it on the closet floor before getting onto the bed. He sinks into the mattress, letting out a gentle groan. "You better hurry up. I could fall asleep."
"I'll let you rest shortly." L cautiously steps into Light's new room. "I assume you brought the other Death Note."
"Correct." Light gestures to the blazer. "It's in the inside pocket."
L unfolds the blazer with a curious look. He looks inside, searching the inside pocket. "Oh! Is that another Shinigami?"
"Please meet Ryuk." Light offers Ryuk a lazy smile. "He comes and goes as he pleases."
"So you're the one I've heard so much about." Ryuk's cartoonishly wide eyes stare at L. He offers L an unsettling smile, one with way too many teeth.
L remains unbothered. "Hello, Ryuk-sama."
"I like this one." Ryuk's lips curl further back, exposing more sharp teeth. "Much better than that Mikami fellow! Sure am glad you found a way to get the Death Note back."
"You met Mikami-san?" L may use an honorific for Mikami, but his tone reveals that he holds no respect for him. He doesn't exactly sound disgusted, just displeased. "Hmph. I'll be getting to meet him soon myself."
"Don't rush. I thought Light was boring." Ryuk rolls his eyes. Light knows by now to ignore Ryuk's insult. "Mikami made Light the most fascinating person alive. He's so boring! Not to mention how weird he gets with Misa! It's gross."
"Weird?" Light immediately sits up. "How?"
"They take their clothes off! I leave when they do that." Ryuk looks between Light and L. "What? Did I say something wrong?"
"No." Light wonders how long Misa and Mikami have been together. Did Light mean nothing to Mikami? He knows that he means nothing to him now, but was that always the case? Is Misa the reason Mikami hates Light? Was that the reason why Misa was outside Mikami's door the night everything happened? Didn't Misa say she was in love with Light? "You just informed me of something I wasn't aware of."
"I think I'll be done now." L heads towards the door, lingering nearby for a moment. "I'm going to have Mikami apprehended soon."
"Good." Light lets out a bitter laugh. "Good."
~
"Light-kun." L studies Light's relaxed posture, smiling softly. "Come along. Mikami-san has asked to talk to you."
Light gets off their bed, wrapping an arm around his stomach. He waddles over to the door, grabbing his blazer off the door handle. "Is he offering me child support?"
L winces at the question. He is often able to forget that Mikami is the real, biological father of Light's pups, at least until Light brings it back up. When L goes into Light's room at night and curls up with him, he feels like he is Light's beloved and the father of his pups. But when Light calls Mikami their father, L feels something close to resentment. He doesn't blame Light for being interested in Mikami (as a matter of fact, L could never give Light pups because he's infertile), but he still hates Mikami. Part of him hates Mikami because he got to hold Light close in a way that L has never done; part of him hates Mikami because Mikami, a mass murderer, can have pups while L cannot.
L tries to clear those thoughts from his head. Mikami may have had sex with Light, but L is the one Light loves. Light willingly decided to start coming into L's room and cuddling with him, and L has found himself becoming more sure of his confusing, irrational feelings. If L has his way, he'll spend the rest of his days with Light, their pups, Near, and Watari.
"He doesn't need to," answers L, keeping his tone neutral. "I've got all the money we could ever need. Our pups will be well taken care of."
"I fully believe that." Light grabs onto L's arm when he reaches him. "You're a better father than he'll ever be. Sometimes, I forget you aren't their biological father."
"Me too." L tilts his head. "Other times, it's the only thing I remember."
"Oh." Light looks away for a moment, and L tries to ignore the guilt crawling into his throat. "Does it upset you? The fact that the pups aren't biologically yours, I mean."
"No." L decides that Light deserves to know. "I can't have pups. It just upset me to think that someone as vile as Mikami-san can have children. It worries me that the pups will grow up to be like him."
"I am also Kira." Light almost growls, causing L to flinch. "I'm not better than him because you just so happen to "like me". I am just as vile as him."
"I wasn't referring to being Kira. I've had people killed." L shrugs. He can't always be merciful and forgiving. "I was referring to the fact that you didn't like how he had sex with you, yet he brags about it. He boasts about your discomfort. Imagine if his son acts like that..."
"I won't allow it." Light angrily squeezes L's palm, his nails digging into flesh. "We'll do better! We will teach our pups to be respectful."
"Yes." L allows Light to bruise his palm. "I just worry. I didn't mean to be insensitive."
"I know." Light's other hand gentle caresses L's face. "I know. I worry too."
"Don't worry." L offers him what he hopes is a reassuring smile. His hand moves to brush Light's hair out of his face. "I've got us. I'll protect you. I'll provide you with anything you need."
"And how am I ever supposed to repay you for that?"
L continues to play with Light's hair. It calms L just as much as it does Light. "You don't have to. I'm doing this because I want to."
"Could we just stay here today?" Light offers L a cute pout. He lets go of L's face, clinging onto his arm instead. "Please. I'm tired."
L pretends to think about it. "I guess so, as long as I get to cuddle with you."
"Of course." Light smiles at him. "I want you to cuddle with me. I want you to want me."
"I do." L rubs his head against Light. "I want you so, so much."
"Mmm." Light closes his eyes, his breathing hitching. L still finds it extremely odd how a few words of affirmation get Light so flustered. "You're wonderful, you hateful bastard."
L simply laughs. "I love you."
Love is a strange, rather powerful thing. He lets Light drag him around, yell at him (a hormone-based reaction that Light cries about a few minutes after until L comforts him) , cry on his chest, and push his buttons in ways he never imagined that he'd let anyone do. He never imagined that he would be willingto make adjustments to his schedule to accommodate someone, something that seems so normal now. Light tries his best to quietly creep out of bed to go to the bathroom, but L hears every little noise. L simply never planned on making adjustments for another person. He doesn't mind. He cares more about Light than he does about having a definite, unchanging schedule— good practice for when the pups come.
L knows part of his reaction is due to Alpha hormones and instincts. Light's Omega hormones cause L's hormones to react; so far, things have worked out. Light's scent calms L, almost to the point of being downright hypnotic. L needs Light as much as Light needs him, if not more. Now that L knows this sort of feeling is possible, he never wants to be without. He wants to gouge himself on the feeling until he drowns in it.
Light smirks at the statement. "Good. I love you too."
And damn does L ever want to drown in these feeling.
~
"I have some bad news." Watari gives them a bow, and Light sees L pale. "Amane-san is pregnant."
"Jesus Christ."
Light doesn't know what to say. He can't really be mad about her seeing someone else, considering Light never really wanted to be with her. He was half-assing their entire relationship, and Light can't blame her for wanting something real. But if she is pregnant right now...
"We assume Mikami-san is the father. Amane-san says she hasn't been intimate with any other men. She is also exactly six months pregnant." Watari looks deeply uncomfortable. "We have her in solidarity confinement for the time being. I've hired a doctor to come check her out."
Light wants to rip Mikami apart with his bare teeth. Mikami called Light a slut for allowing Mikami to touch him, yet Mikami slept with Misa the same night he slept with Light. It makes Light furious. Mikami gets to walk away from his pups without even so much as a single child support payment, and he gets to do it twice. He gets to leave. Twice. Not once, but twice.
"I see." L takes a deep breath. "Come along, Light-kun. We're going to see Mikami."
"Why?" Light scoffs at the mention of the man. "He's a disgusting, pathetic bastard."
"I don't disagree." L puts his hand on top of Light's in a comforting manner. "I want you by my side when I see him. I can't do that if you present a security threat."
"Why do you want to see him?" Light ignores the jealousy burning in his stomach. L shouldn't want to see Mikami more than he has to.
"Don't be jealous, Light-kun." L rubs at a spot in the middle of Light's back. He always want to comfort Light, to have some part of him directly on Light.
Light enjoys L's constant, seemingly endless attention more than he cares to admit. He doesn't want to share that attention with anyone, other than his pups. He doesn't want L thinking about Mikami, much less talking to him. The thought of L talking to Mikami fills Light with a sudden, white-hot burst of anger. L shouldn't be allowed to talk to Light's unofficial ex-boyfriend. He tries his hardest not to show his sudden irritation, hiding it behind gritted teeth.
"Light-kun, I don't want Mikami-san," promises L in a gentle tone, getting on his knees before Light. "I want you and only you. I don't want anyone else. I swear."
Light tries his best to ignore the sudden rush of hormones circling through his system; but damn, it's hard not to get excited when L looks so goddamn beautiful on his knees. Light wants to drag L back to bed and let the man go down on him so, so badly. He needs L on top of him more than he needs anything else. The sudden surge of desire and want will surely be the end of Light, and he wonders what he'd have to do to convince L to avoid seeing Mikami again. He just needs L. He craves L so much that it hurts.
"Light-kun?" L tilts his head, his eyes widening. "Are you okay? You smell... different."
"We should have sex," murmurs Light softly, grabbing onto the collar of L's white button-down shirt. He watches as L's eyes widen slightly. "We really, really should."
"Light-kun, slow down." L blinks at him. "I... I don't really want to right now."
"Why?" Light pouts.
Part of him wants to start crying at the rejection. Even if L is kind enough not to say anything, Light can see himself in the mirror. His stomach is incredibly large, an enormous eyesore to look. He has noticed the thin, dark stretch marks around his hips, and Light wants them to go away. Light worked so hard to maintain a perfect body, all for it to be ruined in the course of a few months. Light loves his pups, he really does, but they're ruining him. No one wants a ruined Omega with bastard pups. The thought stings more than it should, but Light knows that it is the truth. No one really wants him or his pups. L feels guilty, although Light cannot tell for what. The guilt, however, cannot overpower L's disgust at the thought of fucking Light.
The other part of Light wants to tear L apart. If Light wasn't so heavily pregnant and out-of-shape, he would fight L. A very small part of him would still like to fight L, if only to see the surprised look on L's devilishly pretty face. He could still scream at him. L does seem to hate when Light starts yelling; maybe Light should start doing that more.
"Light-kun." L very slowly stands up and pulls Light into the gentlest embrace. "I didn't mean to cause you emotional distress. Right now just isn't a good time— I need information from Mikami, you're very pregnant, and Watari is waiting on us."
"I'm sorry." Light's anger vanishes at L's statement. His hormones run amuck often, and Light doesn't have good control over them.
"I know." L gives him a cute grin. "I'm not mad, Light-kun. We'll have sex one day, preferably when you aren't pregnant."
"Does that make you nervous?"
L gently tugs Light out of the room. "Honestly, yes. It makes me very nervous." Upon seeing Light's expression, L puts his hands up in a surrendering motion. His pale cheeks fill with color under Light's scrutinizing look. "Look, your pups won't kick for me. Every time I go to feel them move, they just... stop. I don't think they like me."
"L, that's absurd." Light rolls his eyes at L's explanation, although he freezes when he sees the look on L's face. L looks so genuine. "L, they don't think anything. They're not even born yet. Give them a chance."
"Maybe, but they are yours." L smirks. "They wouldn't be yours if they didn't hate me at first."
"I didn't hate you at first," admits Light, audibly swallowing.
Talking about his feelings feels deeply wrong. He never talked to anyone about the suffering and pain that came with first using the Death Note. He never told anyone about the night he almost jumped off the side of the building that later became the meetup spot for the three Kiras. Light had been deeply paranoid, uneasy, and emotional, but he never hated L. The Alpha brought out many feelings: guilt, sorrow, joy, warmth, arrogance, worthlessness. Light was fascinated by L, desperate to understand what L knew. At the time, L has been his equal; Light now knows that L is his true equal in every way possible.
"Really?" L studies him for a few moments, a doubtful look on his pretty face.
"Really." Light lets out a gentle breath. He ushers L's arm to his waist, and L slowly wraps his arm around Light's waist. "I rather liked you. You provided me with a challenge."
"An unwanted one." L raises an eyebrow, still studying Light. "Surely you didn't appreciate me meddling in your business."
"That is true." Light grimaces when he thinks about L watching him through the cameras scattered throughout Light's house. He had been angry about the privacy violation, even if it was warranted. "However, I appreciate all the meddling you have done recently. You have saved my life and the lives of my pups. For that, I will always be grateful."
"Of course, Light-kun. I always wanted to be your friend." L lets out a soft noise of approval. "I knew from the moment I saw you that you were special. I never thought I would ever be able to be with you. I thought you were in an— albeit forced— relationship with Amane-san. Being in a relationship with you is one of my most cherished honors."
"Really?" Light freezes up at the statement. No one has ever said that Light is important to them, aside from Sayu. "You enjoy being with me that much?"
"Of course. I do not typically allow people to yell at me, much less cuddle with me." L continues talking before Light can finish processing that statement. "You are the exception. That is because I like you. I want to be with you."
"I can't wait until the day you actually claim me."
"I hate that you call it that."
"That's the official term," replies Light in a neutral tone. The thought of L's sharp teeth digging into the skin of Light's neck before knotting holds a special appeal. "Would you prefer I use the term knotting?"
"No." L shakes his head, his lip curling up in disgust. "Seems much too crude. Perhaps even vulgar."
"I suppose," mutters Light halfheartedly. He freezes when realizes they're at the room to interrogate Mikami. "Oh fuck."
"Come on. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can pick out some stuff for the nursery." L gains an affectionate glimmer in his dark eyes. "We only have about three more months before the pups arrive."
"We have to talk about names at some point."
"Mmm." L closes the door behind them, grabbing Light a softly padded chair with a fluffy blanket draped over it. He brings it in front of the desk. "Please, make yourself comfortable."
"Thanks." Light takes a seat before turning his attention to the computer screen.
Mikami sits on a bed bolted to the wall, head in his hands. He stares at the floor with a blank look, greasy hair falling in his face. He's still dressed in his black suit, looking as though he is about to enter the court room. Despite all the months that have passed since their hookup, Mikami hasn't changed in any major ways. Light thinks he should be different. Light is pregnant with pups, and Mikami is just... sitting there. It doesn't feel fair. Light has to push two pups out of his body, and Mikami gets to glare at everything in a 'mysterious' manner.
"Mikami-san." At the sound of L's voice, Mikami's head whips up to face the camera. "Good afternoon. I have a few questions for you."
Mikami's bloodshot eyes stare up lifelessly. "I have nothing to say to you."
"Do you refuse to use condoms?" asks L in a genuine tone.
"What?" Mikami's eyes widen, an awestruck look on his face. "Is Misa-chan pregnant?"
Light tries his best to ignore the fondness in Mikami's tone. Light can't stand Mikami, but it pisses him off that Mikami can hold that fondness for anyone. It's one thing to be used by someone who loves no one. It's another thing to be used by someone who loves anyone but you. Light realizes that he isn't jealous: he's spiteful and rage-filled.
L sighs, playing with the sleeves of his shirt. "Correct."
"Oh my." Mikami smiles a real, genuine smile. "I'm so happy to be having pups!"
"Light-kun is having pups as well," reminds L in a stern voice.
"They don't count," argues Mikami, a brief look of disgust shadowing his features. "I guess I should have figured he wouldn't get the abortion. I offered to pay for it in full and all."
"How do they not count?" asks L in an outraged tone.
"Bastards from a cursed womb," mutters Mikami, shaking his fists angrily. "I really thought that Yagami Light was something special! A God among men! But the night he came over and I saw him naked, I realized that wasn't true. He's just another whorish Omega with daddy issues!"
L growls softly at the insult. "That's my partner and my pups you're talking about!"
"You're delusional." Mikami lets out a wicked laugh. "The two of you will be great together!"
"We will be great together!" hisses L, glaring at Mikami's image on the computer screen. "We're going to be raising your pups while you rot in a cell somewhere."
"What about Misa-chan's pups?"
"You're never seeing them," answers L coldly, a vacant look in his eyes. "They'll never know you! Misa-san doesn't want them."
"What?" Mikami scowls at L. "You aren't seriously considering letting her have an abortion?"
"She already had one." L turns, winking at Light. "She didn't want your bastard children."
"Goddamnit," screeches Mikami, hopping off the bed. He stomps his foot on the floor in a cartoonishly funny way. "Fuck you, you evil bastard!"
Light raises an eyebrow at Mikami's behavior. He never thought that Mikami would lose his composure. Mikami was always so well put together, so perfectly composed. He had always been relaxed and seemingly laid back. Seeing him like this, like a caged animal, makes Light laugh. Mikami may be hateful, but he is powerless. Mikami is nothing now. The thought doesn't stop Light's hands from trembling.
"I was going to let you talk to Light-kun, but I'm not." L smiles, not that Mikami can see it. "Talking to him is a privilege you aren't worth of."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me, Mikami-san." L's voice is filled with venom. "No one wants you. Get used to being alone!"
"This isn't ethical!" Mikami begins crying. "I know the law! I'm a lawyer! This is illegal."
"No. You were a lawyer." L emphasizes the were more than he needs to. "I already checked with authorities, and I'm allowed to detain you. Since I'm not killing Light-kun, I won't kill you."
"Does it make you feel more moral?" Mikami sneers at the thought. "There is nothing ethical about this!"
"Would you rather I kill you?" L tilts his head, studying Mikami quietly.
"Not right now," admits Mikami quietly, hanging his head. "Tell Light-san I'm sorry."
"For?"
"For giving him a piece of me he can never get rid of." Mikami remains silent for a moment. "Those pups will be like me, and for that, I'm so sorry."
"It'll be okay." L grabs onto Light's hand, offering him a hand squeeze. "You have some good traits. We'll make it work."
"Will you tell them about me?"
"That's up to Light."
"Some day," answers Light in a gentle tone. It isn't a conversation he looks forward to, but it will need to happen. "I'll tell them the whole truth one day."
"Thank you, Light-san."
Light flinches at the sudden attention. He thought he was sitting far enough away from the microphone that he couldn't be heard. He feels weird; he wants to crawl out of his skin and float through the floor. "Yeah."
"Will you keep me updated on them?"
"Why would I?" L scoffs at the question. "You didn't want them."
"Please." Mikami gives the camera a pleading look. "I'm just curious! I was just angry."
"Angry about what?" snaps L. "How can you be angry when you find out your going to be a father?"
"I'm not ready to be a father, especially with Light-san!" cries Mikami in a pitiful tone. "Neither of us had a good relationship with our parents! Do you think we could successfully be parents?"
""My parents are dead, and you don't see me running away! You're just a coward, Mikami-san."
"We'll give you major life updates," says Light, aggravated by the constant bickering. "You don't need anything else. You had your chance."
"That's fair." Mikami bows his head. "Thank you both."
"Goodbye, Mikami-san." L turns the microphone off. "Light-kun, are you okay? I understand that some of the things you heard might be upsetting."
"I'm alright. It was just nerve-wracking." Light's hands continue slowly shaking. "I'm glad it is over."
"Me too." L crouches down near Light, tilting his neck so that Light can smell his scent glands. L's scent is comforting. Light could bury his face in L's scent glands and always feel at home. "If I said anything to upset you, I apologize. I got a little emotional."
"Mmm," purrs Light. "Is Misa-san really getting an abortion?"
"No." L rubs at Light's scalp, eliciting a gentle whine from him. "I asked her if she wanted one. She said no. She doesn't want them though."
""What is she doing with them?" Light asks in a gentle tone.
"Putting them up for adoption," replies L, continuing to rub at Light's scalp. "She said we could have them for one million four hundred seventy-seven thousand seven hundred fifty-five yen."
"That's reasonable," admits Light softly.
"Yeah. It's about nine thousand one hundred ninety-one euros. Adopting pups is usually about four times that price," murmurs L, a contemplative look on his face. "Ultimately, if you're interested in doing that, we have more than enough money."
"We could. It'd give the pups a larger family." Light thinks about it. "I'll consider it."
"It is completely up to you." L smiles at him, his eyes fluttering. "I imagine that between us, you'll need the most rest. My body is not sustaining two pups. I'm not giving birth. If you want to raise just our pups, that's fine. If you want to try raising hers pups as our own, I'm also fine with that. I just don't want you to burn yourself out."
"What about you?" Light studies L with a careful look. "Won't the pups bother you?"
Light hopes that L doesn't burden Light with the parental duties. He can't be a parent by himself, sticking raising his pups while L simply watches him struggle. He needs emotional support. He was good with his sister, but his sister could talk and walk and read by the time Light had to step up and be her second parent. Light is overly emotional and willing to take chances based on his irrational, confusing feelings. He needs someone to keep him grounded, to keep him safe and secure.
"Mmm, maybe," admits L hesitantly. "I do tend to avoid loud noises for personal reasons. However, I will try my best to ignore my... sensitivity and step up. I'm willing to be the father they need."
"Good."
"I work from home a lot." L leads Light out of the room, closing and locking the door behind him. He presses a very gentle kiss against the front of Light's throat. "Do you still have the energy to go shopping for the nursery?"
"Can we go tomorrow?"
"Of course, Light-kun." L grins, knowing fully well what that means. "Can we cuddle then?"
"Yes." Light allows L to drag him back to their bedroom. "We sure can."
~
Light selects six different blanks, beckoning L over with the flick of his hand. The fact that L walks over without a second thought no longer worries him. L has come to accept that Light is his mate, which makes him Light's mate. They belong to each; they belong by each other's side. L never imagined that he would ever want to be in love with another person, but he now wonders how he lived so long without Light.
The tender softness of Light's slow movements and the bright glimmer in his eyes fills L with joy. Light looks so ease, excited even, to beckon L over. Light wants L to help him build his family; L's heart races when he comes to the realization. Light wants L to be an active part of the pup's future. Blankets aren't a significant thing, but Light still wants his input. It allows L to feel important.
"Which one?"
"You can buy them all." L smiles. "We should have enough that we don't constantly have to do laundry."
"But six?"
"Yeah. We have the money for it." L has all the money in the world for Light and their pups. He'll let Light buy whatever he wants for their pups, regardless of cost or frivolousness. "We shouldn't burden Watari too much."
"Yeah. I don't think Watari-san likes me." Light frowns at the statement, his cheeks turning pink. "Umm, never mind."
"Light-kun, your feelings are important. I can assure you that Watari likes you." L doesn't know what to say to comfort Light. Watari is often distant to newcomers, especially those who try to get close to L. He doesn't want people trying to distract or harm L, so he tries to remain impartial. If he stays distant, he is better able to see potential danger. "He is still just trying to protect me. I'll talk to him."
"I don't want him to be fake nice to me." Light's soft features harden. "If he doesn't like me, that's fine. I can do my own laundry. I don't need him to iron my clothes either. I did all the household work since my mother died. I don't need help now."
"I understand." L takes Light's hand and presses a gentle kiss it. "I assure you that Watari-san doesn't hate you. He doesn't mind doing your laundry. You're not going to be able to do it for a while."
"Why?" Light pouts, his brown eyes widening in exaggeration. "Are you going to lock me in a tower like I'm Rapunzel?"
"No, but I didn't peg you down as the type to read the Grimm Brothers." L laughs softly, amused rather than offended. "To answer your question, the answer is your body. After you have your pups, I can't imagine you'll feel like doing laundry. Regardless of how you have your pups, I'm sure you'll be in pain."
"I don't look forward to it." Light's eyes flutter close for a second. "I'll be alright when I'm able to hold my pups. You'll rub my back and coo at the pups while I gently rock them before falling asleep."
"Sounds beyond fair." L grimaces at the thought of Light being in labor. So many things could go wrong; even L, with all his power, can only do so much. "I'll find you the best doctors and nurses."
"Thank you." Light pulls L to him. "Do we need car seats?"
"Sure. We'll have some to be safe." L takes the cart, allowing Light to stay wrapped around his waist. "Two or three?"
"Three." Light gives him a tired smile. "I think we'll be alright with three pups. I'm glad I don't have to give birth to the third pup."
"Mmm. I'm glad too." L tilts his head to the side, thinking over Light's words carefully. "Misa-san is having a girl."
L likes the mystery of not knowing his pups' sexes. He can solve most mysteries; technically speaking, he has solved every case he as ever been given. However, he has no way of accurately knowing the pups' sexes since they decided not to find out. For once in his life, L has a case where the answer cannot be solved through torture, rewatching tapes, studying documents, or staring at a blank screen.
"We still need to talk about names," reminds Light softly.
"Yes. I've been thinking about that, actually." L has been thinking about it a lot recently. He has been thinking about his own name: L Lawliet. He thinks that Light should know his name. Light should love L Lawliet, not just L. "We can talk about it at home."
"Okay." Light freezes up, causing L's head to whip around.
A pretty girl stares at Light. Her eyes move between L and Light, a disbelieving look on her face. She looks down at her own flat stomach before looking at Light's swollen stomach. She's rushing over to them before L has a chance to process her threat risk.
"Onii-chan!" Her arms wrap around Light.
"Sayu." Light immediately hugs her back, tilting his head so that she can smell his scent glands. L notices that Sayu does the same, allowing Light to smell her. They're a pack; it makes sense that they would want to smell each other. Scenting provides a sense of comfort, something L didn't fully process until he had his face buried in the side of Light's neck. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same!" Sayu looks at L, studying him silently. Her eyes narrow, her lips pursed. "Who is this... fine fellow?"
Light gives her a nervous smile. L hopes he remembers the new alias L gave him told him to use. "Please meet Ryuzaki."
"Ryuzaki?" Sayu pronounces each letter with more anger than needed. "Humph."
"Lovely to meet you, Sayu-san." L bows his head to her, wondering how she found out where they were. He wanted to meet her in a more private place, after Light had the pups. "Both Light-kun and your father have told me much about you."
"My father?" Sayu's eyes widen in surprise. "How do you know him?"
"Work." L's vague answer pisses Sayu off. "We have just a few more things to pick out. After that, would you like to come back to our place? Given that it is okay with Light-kun, of course. He likes to nap in the afternoon."
"I'd like to see my sister." Light ruffs her hair, finally letting go of her. "How'd you find me?"
"I had some people looking for you." Sayu smiles softly. "When Kiyomi-chan messaged that she saw you, I headed out."
"Makes sense." Light sighs softly. "Do you want to pick out some soap? Ryuzaki picked out the car seat and cradles already."
"For a girl or boy?"
"No idea." Ryuzaki smiles at her. "We decided not to find out. Pick whatever smells the nicest."
"They'll all smell like baby powder." Light's hand moves to his stomach. "Once they get older, the gender roles go in full-swing."
Sayu wanders off in the direction of the bathing supplies.
"Can we go now?" Light looks nervously in his sister's direction. "I don't trust her not to say something... unfortunate. I would prefer some things to stay between the three of us."
"Of course." L tilts his head to the side, offering Light his signature smirk. "Anything for you, my dear."
"I like it when you call me that."
"I'll keep that in mind."
~
"Does dad know?" Sayu continues staring at Light's stomach.
It makes Light uncomfortable. She won't stop staring at him like he's some sort of circus freak. He already feels fat and ugly, even if L tells him that he is neither thing (it's always something about how Light is pregnant and carrying two pups in his body, and isn't that amazing, Light-kun?). He can't tell if she's judging him or simply unsure how to process everything. "No."
"Really?"
"He doesn't know. You know how traditional father is."
Light's father is an incredibly traditional Alpha: an authoritarian figure with a strong sense of righteousness and a coldness that no amount of love can change. His father, like most of Japan, believes in knotting before having children. Light and Mikami might have had— awful, horrible— sex, but they definitely didn't form a knot. If his father found out, he wouldn't be happy. Light was more afraid of his own father than L, the very man who vowed to put him on death row. He decided soon after taking the pregnancy test that L's wrath couldn't possibly compare to his father's distant, suffocating anger.
"I mean, those are his grandpups!" Sayu huffs.
"It is Light's decision who gets to know of his pregnancy. I ask you to respect his decision." L's calm voice settles Light, but Sayu perks up.
"Exactly who do you think you are? A good Alpha wouldn't leave an Omega unknotted and pregnant." Sayu rolls her eyes. "You should be ashamed! My brother is pregnant because of you!"
"Sayu—"
"I'm not their biological father." L gives her a cold, calculating look that causes her to flinch.
"What?" Sayu mouth opens before quickly closing. She simply stares at Light. "Is this true?"
"Yes," admits Light, snuggling into L's side on the sofa. "He isn't the biological father, but he is who I want to spend the rest of my life with."
"And I really do love Light-kun." L's hand rests on Light's stomach. "I want to be with him. I promise to look out for him and protect him as best I can. The pups are mine. I love Light-kun more than I love— they finally kicked for me! Light-kun, they kicked for me!"
"I told you they would. They needed more time."
Sayu finally speaks. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. I'm just trying to protect Light."
"I know." L offers her a lazy grin. "I will give your brother a good life."
"I hope so." Sayu smiles at L. "You must be awful special! Light didn't even like Misa-Misa that much."
"I don't blame him," mutters L before clearing his throat. "Misa-san is a required taste. I can handle her in small doses."
"You know Misa-Misa?" The awestruck look in Sayu's eyes doesn't surprise Light. Sayu might like Misa more than he does. Misa is, at best, an annoying acquaintance. They might have been on the same team, but they were very different people.
"Yeah." L's hand continues to rub at Light's stomach. "This is amazing. They just might like me."
"L, we've talked about this." Light closes his eyes. "They have no thoughts. They don't like or dislike you."
"They could!" argues L.
"Aren't you L, the world's greatest detective?" Light opens his eyes, seeing Sayu giving L a baffled look. "I thought you were supposed to be smart."
"SAYU!"
"She's a lot like you for that." L gives Light his signature smirk, his eyes filled with a playfulness that causes Light to roll his eyes. "What? You are just like that."
"Ehh." Sayu shrugs. "We should be somewhat like. He is my brother after all."
"I wouldn't know. I don't have any siblings." L frowns for a moment. Light can almost see the gears turning in his head as he debates his next set of words. "My family is dead."
"I'm sorry."
"It was a long time ago." L's neutral tone sounds forced.
Light would like to ask about him some questions about his family, but he isn't sure how L would feel about that. L is a fairly private person, and he hates discussing certain topics. He really, really wants to ask, but he doubts L would open up with Sayu present. Light can't help but to be curious about the people who raised L for a fragment of his life. Were they as smart as him?
"Our mom died." Sayu gave him a sympathetic smile. "Light watched as she died. I had to cover my eyes."
Light winces at the mention of his mother. He tries not to think about her body wrapped in white sheets, about the nurses trying to comfort the two of them because they had no one there to help them. If she were alive, Light wonders if he ever would have used that notebook. If she were still alive, would Light have tried to become a cop? The idea of being a cop makes him queasy, so he doubts it, but he'll never know for sure. She was just so much warmer, so much more loving than his father.
"I see." L looks at Light with an expression he can't place. "Light-kun is rather brave when he wants to be."
"No one says that about me."
"I do." L grins as one of the pups kicks for him. "I might not have said it, but I think it."
"Aww! He's so cute!" Sayu practically coos at L, causing Light to grimace. Sayu is emotional in a different way from Light. "I'm sure dad loves him!"
"Father doesn't know we're together." Light can tell his sister doesn't understand. He didn't expect her to. "Listen, there are reasons."
"Dad would be fine. He's an Alpha, and you're an Omega. You're a traditional couple." Sayu waves her hand in an overly dramatic gesture at the thought. "You know how he is about that."
"Indeed." Light can see that she is going to ask more questions, so he figures he'll try to provide her with an explanation. "Father has objections to some of L's more... personal practices. I don't want to deal with it."
A knock on the door halts the conversation.
"Watari-san?" L tilts his head at the door, his eyes narrowing in thought. "Oh hell..."
Light's father steps into the room, his eyes widening. He looks between Sayu, L, and Light with a shocked look that he tries to mask. "Does anyone care to explain what's going on?"
"No." Sayu gives her father a cute smile.
"What do you need explained?" Light gives his father a weary look, clutching his stomach instinctively. He feels L tighten his grip on him.
"Is this why you've been avoiding me?" Light's father has an incredibly stern, disapproving expression on his face.
"You say that like it's hard to do." Light scowls before trying his best to even out his expression. "Sorry. I'm just... surprised."
"Me too." His father continues staring. "How did this happen?"
"Unprotected sex," answers Light.
"With?"
"A lawyer."
"A lawyer?" Light's father gives him a blank stare. "Are you... properly together?"
"I would hope not, considering that I'm snuggling with L." Light sighs, gesturing his father inside. Hostility won't get him anywhere, even if a small part of Light would like to tell his father off. He doesn't want to lose his father in what should be a joyous time. "Close the door behind you."
His father obeys, shutting the door behind him. He takes a seat next to Sayu on the couch, clasping his hands as though in prayer. "Son, please fill me in."
Light grimaces at the command— it's most definitely a command, because his father demands things, and Light obeys his father— and the implications. If he fills his father in completely, he would admit to being Kira, something his father would never forgive him for. His father fully supported Kira being sentenced to death. Light isn't even sure that being the man's son would change his mind; as a matter of fact, his father may argue more passionately that Kira deserves to die because Kira is his son. Light whines at the thought.
"I'm not mad, just disappointed."
"Papa!" chides Sayu. "I'm not disappointed! I'm excited! I'm going to be an aunt!"
"How do you think Light is going to afford that child? He has a low-paying job at a shitty restaurant or bar or whatever you want to call it." He crosses his arms.
"Yagami-san, if I may?" L continues when Soichiro remains quiet. "We will be raising them together."
"Huh?"
"I am in love with your son."
"What?" Light's father looks utterly shocked at the confession.
"I am in love with your son," repeats L in a gentle voice. "We're going to build a family together."
"Don't you think he is Kira?"
"What?" Sayu's mouth falls open. "That's absurd! Light wouldn't hurt anyone, even a—"
"I'm Kira," admits Light. "No point in denying it. You have two options: accept it or leave."
"L, why would you allow him to be free?" Soichiro stares at L, standing up. "How dare you? You pretend to be righteousness, yet you allow yourself to be embraced by a criminal!"
"I never pretended to be righteous. I outwardly expressed my desires to solve the case purely for entertainment multiple times." L gestures for him to sit.
Surprisingly, Soichiro does, but he scowls the entire time. Light knows he hates being ordered around. "Yes, but I expected you to uphold justice."
"What is justice in this case?" L gives Soichiro a blank stare, waiting silently for an answer.
"Well, it—"
"You can't possibly say it would be killing Light!" Sayu's soft voice stood their father in his tracks. She, too, looks surprised at her outburst. "I am not defending Light's actions, but you can't be serious! I have more loyalty to him than you!"
"Huh?" Light isn't sure what that statement means. It could be referring many things— Sayu's unwavering trust in him, the fact that Light practically started raising her after their mom died, or something else entirely.
"I'm just saying that I don't want anything to happen to you. You're the one who has been taking care of me." She starts crying, and their father puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!"
Soichiro removes his hand. "Justice isn't this."
"Do you want me to kill Light and his pups? Would that satisfy you?" L tilts his head to the side. "Would that make you happy?"
"Why would you hurt the pups?" question Soichiro in a genuine tone.
"Both parents are a Kira variant." L studies Soichiro intently, watching for the barely noticeable movements of his face. "Surely justice would be causing Kira the same amount of pain as he caused others. Those criminals had parents. If we play by the justice and fairness rules, I should kill every Yagami and then the pups. People lost their family. It's only fair Yagami-kun experience that pain."
"You can't possibly think that's fair. You'd be killing innocent people."
"Like Penber-san." L bows his head at the mention of his name.
Light's fingers twitch in his lap. Why did L have to mention him? Light tries not to think about him or the FBI agents. Light tries not to think about the blood— or the pen ink, because both are there— staining his fingers. He tries to ignore the vivid red color when he scrubs his hands under the burning water in an attempt to purify himself; it is a futile attempt because someone as corrupted as Light could never be purified. He will always be dirty and impure.
"A wonderful example! How can you let his murder go unpunished?"
"I didn't kill him." Light shutters, his breath hitching in his throat. He had his gun pointed directly at Light. If he chose to fire, he would kill Light before Light could get out another word. Light stared at the end of the gun, his heart in his throat. Raye's finger curled around the trigger, and he—
"LIGHT!" L's sharp growl snaps Light out of his daydream. "You're not there anymore."
The words don't stop Light's hands from continuing to shake. Light doesn't know what to say (his tongue hasn't felt this heavy in a long time, and his mouth is so dry), so he says nothing. He just nods.
"My... grandpups," begins Soichiro in a neutral tone, "will be better raised. I swear to it."
"Excuse me?" Light isn't sure when he decided to speak.
"I figured that is why you've decided to tell me you're Kira. You want me to raise them." Soichiro frowns. "I will see to it they are better. I will make sure they reach their full-potential."
"Would you stop that?" snaps Light, his volume raising. He gestures around wildly. "I would never let you have my kids! You couldn't even raise us."
"How dare you?" seethes Soichiro, standing again.
"You let us sit there and watch our mom died! How could you do that?" Light's chest heaves, his heart thumping. He needs to calm down, for his pups' sake more than his own, but he needs to finish this conversation. It is long overdue. "And then, you go back to work the next day like nothing happened! You stuck me with everything: looking after Sayu, cleaning, doing the laundry, making sure we both had dinner, and making you a grocery list so you could remember to buy your beer! I was a kid too!"
His father looks at a loss for words. "Good. I don't want to be a parent again."
"Why would you offer?" L raises an eyebrow.
"Obligation." Soichiro rubs his head. "Light clearly cares for them. I never really liked children. My wife did. I should have been a better husband."
"What?" Sayu gives Soichiro a baffled look.
"Your mom deserved better." Soichiro walks towards the door. "I'm going to leave. I wish you the best, but I think it's for the best I don't meet the pups."
"Are you sure?" Light is surprised by the softness in his voice. "I know that you tried. I'm willing to try and make this work."
"Maybe once enough time has passed." He gives Light an emotionless look. "I need time to process my own emotions. In the meantime, I won't say anything because I think L would kill me."
"Correct." L nods at him. "I've given people worse fates than death."
"I believe it." Soichiro closes the door behind him on the way out. Light isn't exactly sad to see him go.
"I have a few question." Sayu looks at Light, a nervous expression.
"I'll try to answer."
And Light tells Sayu everything there is to know about the man who wanted to be God.
~
"You're doing so well." L calls Light by an affectionate pet name he doesn't understand. L enjoys calling Light pet names in English, even though Light doesn't know a ton of English. "Hang in there."
"Very easy for someone not having twins to say." Light grabs onto L's hand. "Son of a fucking bitch, I'm never having pups again."
"That's fine." L hums in agreement. He doesn't ever want to see Light in this much pain again. Despite his name and the weight it carries, he holds no power over death. The only thing that comforts L is the fact that Beyond Birthday-Misora reassured him that Light's death date is far into the future; Beyond rarely does a whole lot that comforts L, and L knows that Naomi (his wife) had something to do with it. "You're doing so good."
"How much longer do I have?" whimpers Light, letting out a sharp cry. "Everything hurts."
"You're doing so good! The pups are almost here!" cheers Sayu, offering Light an encouraging grin. "It'll all be worth it when you can hold them and coo at their little faces!"
"Yeah," murmurs Light through a pant. "SON OF A BITCH!"
A shrill cry cuts echos through the room, causing everyone to fall silent.
"Please welcome a healthy girl," says the nurse, grabbing a towel to clean her. L remembers back when she first arrived to the orphanage, confused and angry.
"Now, another push should bring us your other little one," says the doctor. L knows her too. "The placenta will follow soon."
L grimaces as Light lets out a terrible noise, his nails digging into the palm of L's hand. The pain L experiences from this action is nothing compared to what Light must be feeling. L just wants the labor to be over already. L hates bodily fluid and other highly germs things; L will only tolerate such unpleasant things for his dear Light. He doesn't understand why people would want to have more pups after seeing how horrible labor is.
"Very good!" The doctor holds a writhing little body in her arms. "Welcome a beautiful baby boy."
"One of each!" Sayu beams brightly at her brother. "How wonderful."
"We actually have two girls. One of them just hasn't been born yet." At seeing Sayu's baffled look, L explains, "We're adopting."
"That's so cute," says Sayu, fawning over the little baby the nurse carefully hands to Light.
Her little eyes open and she stares up at Light; something about the moment is so tender, so raw, that L doesn't even want to breathe too loudly. Her dark hair stands in every direction, and she looks more like L than Mikami. She continues to stare at Light.
"She's so tiny." Sayu reaches out and touches the side of her face. "What are you going to name them?"
"Her name is going to be Yagami Toshiko." Light fawns over her cute little face, groaning softly as he shifts to get comfortable. "L thought it would be fitting."
"Any pup of Light's is going to clever." L holds out his arms, accepting the freshly cleaned baby into his arms. It's odd to think that he is holding his newborn son. "And this is Yagami Hiroki. I'm sure you know why we named him that."
"Bundle of joy." Sayu smiles. "That's lovely."
"Very fitting for him," murmurs Light as he looks over at his son. "Sayu, I'm going to hand you Toshiko for a moment. I want to hold my son before I end up falling asleep."
"Of course! I'm so happy to hold her!" Sayu stands up from her chair and takes Toshiko out of Light's arms. She gently rocks her, cooing at the baby in her arms. "I love her."
"Me too." Light takes his son into his arms. The baby blinks up at him slowly, beginning to cry. "Hey, please don't do that. You didn't do that when L held you."
"He likes me better," declares L confidently.
"You thought they hated you because they wouldn't kick for you," retorts Light, yawning. "Do you mind trying to calm him, L? I'm so tired."
"Things are different now." L takes his son back into his arms and gently rocks him. "You can go to sleep, Light-kun. Your sister and I will keep them safe."
"Thank you."
"The nurse is actually going to be taking them into the other room to do their hearing and vision tests," says the doctor, nodding at L. "Yagami-san, make yourself comfortable. You require very minimal stitching, but I'm going to go ahead and do it now that you've pushed out the placenta."
"Then I can sleep?"
"Yes." The doctor nods at him, standing up to go get her supplies.
"Good," yawns Light, offering L a tired smile.
~
Near stares at Light, the gears in their brain turning quickly. They have a million thoughts, none of them exactly coherent. They had an idea of what Yagami Light would look like and how he would act, but the man on the couch is none of those things. Light has soft eyes, a warm smile (Near can see he is missing a tooth), glossy hair, and a look of innocence about him. Something about him is extremely ordinary; something about him is equally as unordinary. Light beckons them into the living room with the simple flick of his wrist.
"Near, Mello, please meet Yagami Light." L gently rocks a brown haired baby in his arms. "I'm holding our son, Hiroki. The little one in Light's arms is our adopted daughter, Hoshi. Our other daughter, Toshiko, is asleep in the cradle between us."
"How dear." Near offers them both a childish grin, internally praying their room is far away from theirs. The pups are very cute, but Near doesn't want to hear them when they start crying. Near likes pups when they are quiet, and Mello doesn't like children at all. "Mello and I brought gifts."
"Is Mello-kun the doll?" Light gives Mello a curious look, offering Mello a small wave.
"Mello is much more than a doll. He's a part of me," explains Near. "Mello is also a boy. I'm not."
"So, should I greet you using Near-kun, Near-chan, or Near-san?" asks Light, rocking the baby in his arms. He coos at her, telling her softly how much he loves her before turning his attention back to Near
"You can call me Near, unless Japanese people use honorifics to refer to their family." Near gives him a nervous smile. "We're going to be family. You don't need to use an honorific for me. Mello, on the other..."
"I see." Light smiles at the two of them. "My sister is lives here too. Her bedroom is upstairs, across from yours."
"Your sister moved with you?"
"Yeah. I mean, the house we grew up in is around thirty minutes from here. She goes and sees our father a few times a month," answers Light. "L's office is in the basement. My sister helps with pups at times, but I think she's mostly happy because I don't hound her about her grades."
"Is she quiet?" Near hates loud noises. If Sayu is too loud, Mello might take care of her and silence her permanently.
"Yeah."
"I hope you like Amane Misa," mutters L softly, as to not wake Toshiko. "Sayu-chan listens to Misa-Misa constantly."
"Mello actually loves Misa-Misa," replies Near. Near is surprised that Mello loves the sweet pop music, considering how bitter and spiteful he can be. Mello loves both Misa's singular titles and her band's music. "I don't mind a few of her songs. She has a fairly decent voice."
"If you say so," grumbles L. "I thought she sounded like a mouse."
"L!" chides Light, glaring at L playful. "What if our daughter sounds like her?"
"The difference is that our daughter will sound like a cute little mouse rather than a dying, sickly one," answers L in a confident tone. He winks at Near. "She can be our irritating yet lovable pup."
"You're so mean." Light sticks his tongue out at L.
"You're right." L pretends to think it over. "Although, with enough love, you could probably fix me."
"Fix you?" Light throws his head back, laughing. Near can sees his sharp white teeth— and the spot where he's missing a tooth. "What are you, an un-neutered dog?"
"I think you're the mean one." L pouts.
"Don't pout, Lawliet. I give you plenty of kisses to make up for it."
"Fine! But only if you promise to keep your word." L gives Light a stern look. "I love when I get all your undivided attention."
"Hoe often does that happen with three pups?" Near can't imagine that they get a lot of private time together. The pups might be a little over a month old, but they are still incredibly dependent on Light and L (as Near imagines they will be for a while longer).
“Not often,” admits L. He smiles at Light, a lovestruck look on his face. “But that’s okay. I’m going to spend the rest of my days with Light-kun, so there’s no need to rush.”
“I love you so much.” Light shifts slightly, leaning into L’s side. “You’re so… lovable. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and then some.”
“Wow. Okay.” Near isn’t sure if they should congratulate them both on finding their true mate or puke at how sappy they are. “I’m going to take my bags upstair.”
“Do you need any help?” asks L, taking his attention off of Light for a second. “I can bring your stuff upstairs, or I can holler for Watari-san.”
“I’ll be okay,” says Near, giving them both a cute smile. “I don’t have a lot of stuff. I packed a little bit of clothes and made sure to pack Mello’s accessories. He gets agitated when I don’t brush his hair daily.”
“You should be more like that.” Light gives L a playful nudge, an impish grin on his face.
“You should have seen me before I started on the Kira case.” L sighs, clearly thinking about the days when his hair stood in every direction. “You’ve changed me, Light-kun. You’ve made me soft.”
Near ignores Mello’s voice, urging them to kill Light. Mello has no use for those he deems weak. Near has to softly remind Mello that L’s softness is the reason that they’re going to have a real bedroom with stricter mealtimes. “Stop that, Mello. You’re being mean.”
Light grimaces at the comment. “Maybe Mello-kun would do better with a nap?”
“Yeah. We’re going to go nap.” Near waves at them. “Goodnight.”
“Have a nice nap!” Light turns to face L. “You’ve changed me too, Lawliet.”
Near head upstairs with Mello, humming softly under their breath. They think that they’re going to like it here after all. Things are different than what either of them are used to, but Mello seems content (for the first time in a while). Near can unpack later. They have all the time in the world.