Chapter Text
Regulus eyelids longed to softly close. He let the cold rush of wind chill him awake. Determined to stay conscious for most of the night. After the events of the previous morning he didn’t trust Sirius to take the responsibility of keeping watch seriously.
Kicking a rock as he paced up and down the narrow path to the house. Something disturbed the grass on the other side of the cabin, the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Unhooking Peter's dagger from his belt he crouched, listening for more movement. Waiting for the sound to draw closer.
“Ow, fuck,” James hissed under his breath.
Regulus dropped the dagger to his side and swung around the corner. James leant one hand against the side of the house and held his foot with the other.
“What are you doing,”
“I stubbed my toe,”
“No- why are you out here?”
“Needed to piss,” James said simply, lowering his foot to the ground and testing his weight on it.
Regulus scrunched up his nose, “Get back inside,”
James looked up at him, the white glow of the moon doing nothing to dull his warm complexion. “Why do you always speak to people like that,”
Asking a question like that was like asking why birds flew or why the leaves changed colour once a year. Regulus didn't know, it was just his nature.
Regulus scoffed, turned on his heels and began to march back down towards the gate. He expected to turn around and find James huffing up the stairs, but instead was met with James following him silently.
“It’s not like I’ve done anything to offend you,” James leaned against the fence. “Right?” He sounded genuinely concerned, like if he had done something to upset Regulus he hadn’t meant to, and was already sorry for it.
The ground was muddy and old leaves stuck to Regulus’ boots. “Did you go through my bag,” He fixed James with a cold stare, daring him to tell the truth.
The boy on the fence seemed unthreatened, “Yeah, I did. Sirius needed a change of clothes and I thought his bag was yours. Why?”
Regulus was surprised at his honesty. James seemed unbothered, like everything in the bag had been in order, like he still trusted Regulus. “Nothing just- don’t go through my stuff. It’s private,” He huffed.
James nodded slightly, “Yeah, got it,” He seemed stuck on something, looking away from Regulus, he blew air out from his mouth, watching it curl into the night air. “Earlier, when you came back with Lily all busted up,” He twisted the end of his shirt between his hands. Such an anxious gesture seemed ill fitting on him. “You wouldn’t let me help you, Why?”
Oh god, here it was. ‘Why do you hate me, what did I do to you?’ The same exhausting speel that always came after people got fed up with Regulus’ behaviour. Regulus had to give it to James, he had lasted longer than people usually did.
With Regulus. He had spent the last twenty two years of his life essentially in exile. No one ever wanted to talk to the Black family, let alone their off-putting son. It only made sense to distance himself so the feeling was at least mutual. Only problem with that was- when someone actually wanted to know him, to get close. He was already locked down. Shut up and completely closed off.
“I can do stitches myself,” A lie.
James let Regulus know he saw right through his lie with a quirk of his eyebrow. “Still, we need to be able to trust each other out here if we want to survive.”
“Sorry if in the last two days I didn’t find time for social interaction between the complete destruction of our settlement and the multiple zombie attacks, I’ll be sure to pencil it into my calendar.” Regulus internally winced at how cold the sentence had come out, maybe Peter had a good point, maybe he should try to be less of a ‘prick’.
James stuck Regulus with a deadpan expression. Inhaling deeply, James let out a dramatic sigh, rubbing his palms into his eyes before sliding one hand through his hair. The whole display of pure exhaustion made Regulus think James was going to storm back into the cabin and be done with him. Instead, he leant against the fence and cast his gaze up to the sky.
“Ok seriously, why are you still out here.” Regulus folded his arms into the warm fabric of his flannel, ignoring James as he breathed out clouds of hot air into the night sky, pretending to be a dragon.
His head lulled to the side, looking at Regulus. “Can’t sleep, why are you still out here?”
Regulus furrowed his brow, “I’m keeping watch,”
“Bull.”
“I’m sorry, Bull?”
James nodded, “Yep, Bull. You could watch from the porch or the house, instead you're out here in the cold where anything could see you. So, Regulus,” James leaned forward slightly, narrowing his eyes, “Why are you still out here?” The corner of his lip curled up, it reminded Regulus of the mischievous fae he had read about in his books as a child.
Regulus cursed James and this game of twenty questions. “That house is suffocating,” He murmured
He glanced towards the cabin, small and curled up in the swaying grass that cradled its frame. He was struck with the same feeling of watching he had known for most of his life, everyone was inside, sleeping by the fire. And here he was outside in the cold, completely by his own volition . No one to blame but himself. He didn’t expect James to know what he meant, he met his gaze anticipating a confused look to be spread across his face. James wasn’t looking at him, instead, he was looking at the house with the same longing Regulus felt in his chest.
“Yeah, that makes sense…It’s-” He paused, gathering his thoughts, “It's odd y’know, the settlement, it never really felt like home. More of a place where all the people I cared about were but- no offence to your parents, but we were always tip-toeing around the rules, curfews, regulations. And a place like this,” He gestured to the cabin, “Somewhere that seems to be the perfect house to call home, being left to rot and trapping Remus inside it. If that can’t feel like home I don’t know if I ever will find somewhere that will be.”
Smoke rose from the chimney, orange light danced in the windows, sliding up and down the walls inside. Regulus had never felt so…understood before.
James laughed and looked down at his feet, “God sorry, probably not what you wanted to be hearing from me,”
Regulus took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose. Okay, he was doing this.
“I understand what you mean,” He looked away at the fields, towards the forest on the horizon, “With the uh- not really feeling at home bit at least. It's erm, it’s hard to think of anywhere as home when you didn’t ever really have one,” He said the last part like a question, hating himself more and more for sounding so cheesy.
James’ brown eyes settled on Regulus’ cold blue ones. “Yeah, that's sort of it.”
☪︎
This time when it came to selecting who went where and who did what, Lily made sure to keep Sirius and Remus apart. Which deeply upset Sirius who had begun to become close friends with the other boy. Lily didn’t care though. Yes it was good that Remus was connecting with the boys - despite attacking them when they first met- But Lily wasn't too fond of the idea of coming home to a hypothermic Remus.
Having unfinished business with Regulus, Lily asked him to come with her again. The attack in the woods the day before had linked up events in Lily’s mind, the picture she had found hidden in Regulus' bag, she had seen it before. At Grimmauld.
“Regulus you're with me again,” Lily picked up her bag from the floor as Remus and Peter slipped out the door towards the woods.
Instead of rolling his eyes or scoffing, the boy picked up his bag and marched outside with no arguments. A small smile spread across Lily's lips. He seemed to be warming up to her.
They trekked through acres of grass, the cold autumn breeze raking across them with each step. It reminded Lily of when she was a kid on her mothers farm, she would run in the open fields for what seemed like hours feeling as weightless as the leaves that skated through the air.
Regulus ahead of her continued to wade through the grass, she fixed him with a calculating look. Turning over the picture she found in his bag in her mind again and again. It was an old portrait, one she had definitely seen before in Narcissa's house during one of their… escapades. It was a family of four: mother, father, brother, sister. Why did Regulus have a picture of a Grimauld family in his bag, and why wasn't he in it. Lily was glad he went with her without any fighting, because now that she had him away from the others. She was going to get answers.
☪︎
James and Sirius hung around the cabin until midday, having nothing better to entertain themselves with while the others were gone, they ventured out into the fields to find James’ map. They had been walking around aimlessly for hours, eyes trained on the ground, when Sirius threw his hands up and let out an exhausted noise.
“Are you sure you left it around here,” Sirius moved large tufts of grass out of his path as they lumbered around the vast ochre waves.
James shifted his bag off his shoulders and dropped it into the field, “Not really- wasn’t paying attention to where I left the map when I was fighting for my life,”
Sirius laughed as he snapped off the tallest bits of grass and collected them in his hand, “You sound like Reggie when you talk like that,”
James startled, “Sorry, I just meant that I’m not sure where I dropped it,” James ran a hand through his hair and planted the other on his hip as he looked at their surroundings
The cabin was a small dot on the horizon, an island in the vast field surrounding it. The cold blue sky matched the crisp breeze. Sirius had now gathered a handful of grass and was using it to brush away the bits of dirt that clung to his sweater.
James crouched down and opened his bag searching for his notebook, “If we can't find the map we can always make a new one,”
Sirius scrunched up his nose, “Yeah but that can’t be easy,”
James shrugged, “These days nothing is. Do you have a pencil?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow at him.
“Right, understandable. Guess we’ll have to ask the others when they get back.”
Sirius marched in a circle, flattening a patch of grass before sitting down with a huff. “Why do we even need the map? We're probably going to be in that cabin forever.”
James’ eyes flicked down to his bag, “I don’t know about you and Reg but I had plans to find somewhere more… developed? To stay,”
“What… like another settlement?”
James lumbered over and sat next to Sirius, “Not exactly, me and Pete- well our parents, had this plan in case shit hit the fan,” He searched through his bag for a while before pulling out a paper note. “There's this place, the Phoenix, it takes runaways and people who just need somewhere to stay that isn't like…well y’know.” He held out the note to Sirius.
Brushing a fly away piece of hair from his face Sirius reached out to inspect the note. His tired eyes traced over the text slowly, then read it again, then once more. “This,” he murmured quietly, “This- I had no idea places like this existed,” He looked up at James through his eyebrows.
“It’s all kept pretty locked down, other factions aren’t too happy about a place that works off grid like they do,” He took the note back from Sirius, “Which is why they work on a ticket system, you need to be permitted in,”
Sirius slowly nodded, then lifted a hand to brush his lower lip as he looked out at the fields. He had no idea what he was going to do when the others moved on from the cabin, he and Regulus could stay with Lily and Remus- if the others would have them. But that was a temporary solution for a permanent problem. The problem being his parents.
They would inevitably track them down and drag them back to whatever faction they ran off to, Sirius and Regulus wouldn’t be safe until they were somewhere truly hidden, like the Phoenix. Across from him, James seemed to have a question caught in his throat.
“What is it?”
Keeping his eyes trained on the note he turned over in his hands James awkwardly asked, “You don’t think that, I don’t know maybe you and Reg would want to come with me and Pete?”
A devilish smile crept onto Sirius’ face, “No way Potter, seriously?”
Assured that his question hadn’t stepped over a line James lit up, “Yeah! Of course, my parents should be there when we arrive so they'll be sure to let us in,”
“You're saving our lives mate,,”
With that settled, the two boys began to plan their route to faction.
☪︎
Peter seemed absolutely petrified of Remus, keeping the distance between them at a minimum of two feet. Remus guessed it was because they were alone with each other, and Peter was the one to clean up the mess he made yesterday.
“Do you reckon this is a good one,” Remus looked up at a towering elm tree, its branches reaching into the sky.
Peter startled and turned around swiftly looking up at the branches. “Uhm yep I guess so,” gripping the axe in his hands he approached the tree like it might explode. Reaching up to the lowest branch, Remus jumped up to grab it, using most of his bodyweight to pull it down so Pete could reach it. his feet swinging above the ground.
Peter took a few moments to steady himself before hacking away at the branch with large swings. Remus gripped tightly to the wood as it shook, the impact of the axe making Remus swing slightly in the air. With one more swing,the wood splintered and the branch clattered to the forest floor, taking Remus with it.
The world was a blur, hands scrambling for purchase, feet and legs swinging wildly. Harsh soil hitting his head, the dull ache that came with banging your head. Then sickly hot waves of pain eating its way up his leg. Somewhere in the distance Remus registered Peter's concerned cries.
The branch landed on top of Remus’ leg. Letting out a string of curses that would make his mother mad Remus scrambled to find the branch and lift it off. “Godsake- can’t catch a break with this bloody thing,” Peter ran over and lifted the branch away from Remus.
“You okay? I’m so sorry, I should have checked to see if the branch was too heavy. Do you need me to help you up?
Remus, clamping his mouth shut trying to stifle the urge to cry out in pain just nodded his head hurriedly and lifted his arm up for Peter to take.
“Jeez I really am sorry, You just got up and walking again and I let a branch take you down. Here,” He took his bag off and propped it under Remus’ leg, “That should help it a bit,”
“Thanks mate,” Remus gritted out, leaning against the tree with some difficulty, “Don’t stress too much, you couldn’t of known it would fall like that,”
Peter nervously wiped his hands on his jeans, “I s’pose… Rough luck we’re having ay? Going to be hard to gather wood with half the team on the bench,”
Remus struggled to start standing up, “No- No don’t you dare, stay right where you are,” Peter stopped him, “Lily will have my head if I bring you back worse than you already are,” Peters eyes danced across the forest floor, than scanned the trees, “You need a cane or something-, to help you walk,”
Remus had never considered getting a stick to help him walk around, having to lean on Lily whenever he went down the stairs was getting tiring and it would be nice to walk around unassisted. Plus the pain in his leg agreed adamantly that he could use the assistance.
“Stay here, I’ll go find one, it shouldn’t be too hard,” Peter darted off into the woods, blond hair seeming at home in the dry yellows of the leaves falling around him.
☪︎
The smell of smoked meat wafted through the air, crowded with the sounds of stall owners hawking their wares and wagons trundling along the rough concrete of the desolate town. Regulus had never been in such a lively area before. It was easy to get lost in all the bodies pushing past, going in all different directions. He stuck as close to Lily as he could. Once he tripped over a dislodged piece of concrete, and twice he tripped over a stray goat running away from its petting zoo.
“I’m not giving you two cans for one torch,” Lily sounded offended, eyeing the stall owner with a gaze Regulus was grateful to not have aimed at him. “That's a horrible trade,”
“That’s just the state things are in now I’m ‘fraid,” The old woman shrugged, “How ‘bout this, I’ll throw in these,” She let two books hit the table, on top of them was a packet of batteries. Regulus’ eyes glanced to the spines, eyeing the titles. Two books he hadn’t read before. He really wanted Lily to take the deal.
Lily stared at the wares offered on the table, before sighing, reaching into her bag and slamming down two dented cans of mushrooms. “Pleasure doing business,” The woman croaked and slid the items to Lily.
She stuffed the items in her bag before turning to walk back towards the food sector, “Let's get out of here, I’m starving,”
As they drew closer the smell of Meat mixed with all different types of spices. Fires were lit around small camps. Old benches had been grouped in the middle of the square, poles stood in each corner, colourful bunting hanging between each one. People roamed from table to table and stall to stall carrying boxes and baskets of assorted foods chattering excitedly. Lily found a table hidden in a corner away from the crowd and left Regulus with their bags.
She slowly walked around to the small circle of stalls. Keeping to the edges of the crowds. Regulus watched as she darted to the side of a large tent, pressing up against the side as she waited for the vendors to be busy serving customers, before grabbing two silver trays and speedily walking away. Then he lost sight of her.
A wave of noise hit his ears as a tight feeling pressed itself onto his chest, he felt the air being squeezed out of his lungs.
Regulus found it best to stare directly at his lap and try to block out everything surrounding him. He felt like he had been thrown in the deep end of a pool, drowning in all of the noises and smells and sights. Closing his eyes, he took a breath in, then out. In, then out. The dull wave of sound muffled, the sun glaring right into his eyes was covered by shade. He cracked one eye open just in time to see a tray scatter onto the table.
“There, eat up,” Lily offered, before sitting across from Regulus and diving into her own meal.
It was some sort of orange mush poured into the square indent of the tray, next to it there was a single green leaf of some vegetable. Regulus poked at it, “What…”
“Food from the vans is usually the cheapest, you're welcome to try and get something from the farmers if you want,” Lily scooped a mouthful of orange into her mouth, eyes focused on the bags in front of her.
Regulus picked up the only green thing and placed it into his mouth, ignoring how it felt somehow greasy and rubbery at the same time. He swallowed with some difficulty.
“Blergh”
“Blergh indeed,” Lily muttered under her breath, flicking the green leaf over her shoulder.
Regulus lifted a spoonful of mush to his mouth, trying his best to stomach it. It tasted bland and stale. Lily's eyes settled on him and refused to leave as he lifted a hand to his mouth to hide the grimace spreading across his face.
“Regulus,” She started, “I’m going to ask you a question. And you’re going to be honest with me okay?”
Regulus’ eyes widened as he swallowed down the lump of food, before settling into his signature scowl. “I’ll be honest about whatever I wan’t, I don’t owe you honesty,”
Lily tutted, sliding away her tray and reaching over to Regulus' bag, “You see the thing with that is, you actually do,” Before Regulus could reach out and snatch the bag away from her, she pulled it close to her chest.
“Whatever game you're playing I’m not having it. Give me my bag back,”
“You don’t get to give orders right now,” Lily opened the zipper and Regulus became desperate, grabbing Lilys own bag as collateral, she looked up at him and raised one eyebrow, before continuing to search through his bag.
His hands shook around the bag straps as he watched Lily pull out a small photo and place it on the table. If he got up and ran now he could find someone to give him directions, he didn’t have to return to the cabin. He could leave Sirius behind. Right?
The picture Lily slid across the table depicted a stone like family, all glaring into the camera with the same stern look on their face. The mother, the tallest out of all of them, stood with one hand on a young girl's shoulder. While the fatherly, a square sturdily built man, rested one hand on a young boy's shoulder. Both children held the same fear in their eyes.
Lily tapped a finger onto the photo, “Explain,” She said curtly.
Regulus glared up at her.
She packed venom into her words, “ Explain or I show the others,” She demanded.
The words had to be forced out of Regulus’ throat, refusing to come out, “Thats,” He started slowly, “My family,”
“Okay well that's well and good, but last time I checked you had a brother, I don’t see either of you travelling with your sister,”
“She died,” Regulus announced, still fixing Lily with a cold glare. He felt all his walls building back up again.
Lily wasn’t done with her interrogation, leaning forward with her hands together, “Where did you come from Regulus, and why was this portrait hung inside a house in Grimmauld,”
The words Grimmauld stirred something in Regulus, “What do you know about Grimmauld,”
“Enough to recognise the Black family,”
☪︎
James and Sirius had spent the entire autumn afternoon on their backs looking at the clouds.
“That one looks like a penis,” Sirius sniggered,pointing up at a cloud shaped nothing like the object he described.
James let out a hearty laugh, “You’re right it does,” White clouds drifted by, “ That ones a dog,”
“No it’s not that's a wolf,”
“Dogs are smaller than wolves, and if it were a wolf it would have those sharp teeth and scary eyes,”
Sirius stopped looking at the clouds and focused on the sky as a whole, “I don't’ think wolves are too scary,”
James fixed him with an odd look, “You’ve never run into one in the wild have you,”
Sirius sat up and looked down at James, “No but dogs came from them, how scary could they be,” He rolled up the sleeves of his sweater wanting to feel the breeze on his skin.
“Well for starters,” James joined Sirius in becoming vertical, “Dogs don’t usually tear rabbits throats out, secondly, you don’t hear many stories about dogs attacking travellers on the road,”
Sirius took a moment to consider James’ argument, “Okay, fair point- but that just makes them cooler,”
“You’re insane Sirius Black,” James chuckled. Sirius just shrugged before looking around at the fields.
His brow furrowed as he focused on the cabin in the distance, “Hey look,” He nudged James’ arm to get his attention, “Is that Regs and Lily coming back,”
James squinted, readjusted his glasses, and squinted again, “Yeah I reckon, they're back early aren't they?”
On the other side of the field, two small dots made their way to the cabin, before walking inside.
“Should we head back?” James offered.
Sirius sighed and fell back to the ground with a huff, “God no. I just need a few more moments without having to deal with Regulus' ‘I hate everyone’ act,”
James came to the younger brothers defence, “Hey-”
“It’s fine we’re brothers we can hate each other,” Sirius waved him away. “But it’s just so exhausting- he never used to be like that,”
James focused on the cabin, picturing Regulus walking back inside with a frown on his face, finding his and Sirius’ bags missing and launching into a speel about how irresponsible they were for leaving the cabin unattended.
“He actually used to be, y’know, human.” Sirius continued, “Though that’s when I was still there,” He quietly said, seeming to come to a realisation. James sat and watched as Sirius got lost in his own thoughts, before letting out a dramatic cry, slapping both hands over his face and screaming into them. He let them fall back to the ground angrily, a scowl painted on his face that looked all too similar to Regulus. “You know what it's like though? With siblings?”
James sucked in air through his teeth, “Can’t say I do sorry,”
Sirius looked at James, “Only child?”
“Technically yes,”
“How can you technically be an only child, that's like saying you technically have brown eyes,”
Birds chirped as they soared through the sky doing loops and spins, James looked up at them. He still had a bruised nose from Regulus a few days before. His glasses caught the afternoon light and reflected gold. “I didn’t have a genetic brother, but Peter and I grew up together. So we’re brothers in that sense, we fought and we made up. I get what it's like to get angry at someone you could never hate.”
Sirius spread his arms wide, “I just wish that he wouldn’t be so closed off. I try so hard to make up for the time we lost but he wont let me back in,”
“Lost?”
Sirius stared up at the sky absently. Hit bit the inside of his cheek before standing up and brushing off the dirt on his jeans, “I’ll tell you about it later, it’s….it’s difficult-” Sirius paused, a look of terror taking hold of his face.
James looked up at him with concern, the late evening light casting long shadows across the ground, the world was bathed in oranges and reds. “What? Sirius whats wrong,”
“Smoke. James I smell smoke, why do I smell smoke,”
James took a sniff of the air and caught the trace of smoke as well, glancing around he couldn’t see anything directly, “Hey it’s okay, maybe Peter and Remus started a fire or something it's fine,” He got up and rested a hand on Sirius’ arm. Sirius took a step back away from James’ reach and held up a hand to his nose, pinching it closed.
“No its too close, James I don’t like this somethings wrong,”
Sirius whipped away from James to face the direction they had come from and yelped, looking towards the cabin James saw thick clouds of smoke erupting from the small building. Along the forest line Remus and Peter emerged.
Sirius took off towards the cabin at a sprint.
☪︎
Regulus was cornered and he couldn't find any way to get Lily to let him free, so he ended up telling her half truths about his past. How his family had connections to Grimmauld because they had family there, but they were in charge of their own settlement.
“That's my sister, she died during an attack, the boy in the picture is Sirius. The reason I’m not in the photo is because they are ashamed of me and I wasn’t meant to ‘tarnish their image’. Happy?”
Lily sat back but left the photo for Regulus to take and slip into his pocket, “I’ll take it,”
“I’m so very glad that was good enough for you,” He stood up from the bench, snatched the bag from Lily's grasp and stormed out of the food sector. He didn’t care if Lily followed him, he would find his own way home then he would talk to Sirius and they would both find a way out of there. Together.
It was infuriatingly hypocritical of Lily to pull Regulus up on his past, pull apart every detail and ask for more. When he had just been pinned to the forest floor twenty four hours ago by Lily’s past. Had he brought that up? No. How could she be so self entitled to think she could force that information out of him.
In the middle of his brooding Regulus was knocked over by a tall girl with the palest white hair and the warmest brown skin he had seen.
“Oh dear,” She chirped, “I am so sorry, up we get,” She lifted him up off the ground. Dusting off the gravel from his flannel her face settled into a sweet smile. “Are you okay? You had an awful scowl on your face-”
“Pandora you can’t say that to people,” Another girl wearing a deep red jacket jogged up to them, she had a sporty build and was carrying two boxes full of supplies. A look of shock crossed Pandora as she turned to Regulus, quite frazzled.
“I’m sorry again, you just seemed very worried,”
“I’m…fine,” Regulus got out, the girl who he knew as Pandora turned to the red jacket girl.
“See he’s fine Marls, he knew what I meant,”
Regulus was not in the mood to deal with their discussion, “I- excuse me I have to be somewhere,” He shouldered past them and disappeared into the crowd.
Regulus only heard Lily’s steps when he was walking down the dirt path that led to the fields; they continued in silence for most of the trip until something stuck onto Regulus' mind and stopped him in his tracks. He slowly spun towards Lily, who was a few paces behind staring at him.
“You’ve been to Grimmauld,” He announced, Lily's face was a mask hiding her reaction. Regulus caught her dig her nails into her palm, “You have, I know you have….You’re a runaway,”
“Of sorts…yes,”
Regulus shook his head and looked at the forest around him, the sun was setting and the branches above them had no leaves left. “You came at me for having family associated with Grimmauld, and here you are- a runaway from the damned place,”
Lily was silent.
“Remus doesn't know does he?” Lily glanced to the floor and Regulus knew everything he needed to. A laugh left his lips. “He doesn't! Oh my god, he doesn’t know. How would he feel about that, rooming with an ex-Grimmauld citizen, were you ever going to tell him? You know they never let you leave and you stayed with him, put a target on his back-”
“Enough,” Lily erupted, storming towards Regulus, he stood his ground looking up at her defiantly, “Yes, I ran away from Grimmauld, yes they are after me. But I did not put a target on Remus’ back. I’m not that stupid Regulus.”
“No?” Regulus asked quietly, “Because they seemed pretty hot on your trail last night,”
Lily scowled at him, like a dog pulling back its lip to show its teeth, before shouldering past and marching down the path at such a violent speed. Regulus let the distance grow larger and larger, before turning to follow her at a distance.
☪︎
Peter returned a few hours later holding a large stack of branches in his arms. He looked quite shaken and had a cut on his cheek, Remus who had been making a small fort out of the twigs and leaves on the floor startled at his appearance.
“You alright Pete?”
Peter dropped the sticks on the floor with a huff, then wiped his nose, “Yeah- uhm, all good here just ran into a branch on the way back,” His hair stuck out in wild directions. Remus wouldn’t put it past him to have stumbled into a branch once or twice.
Peter gestured to the stack of differently sized sticks, some large and sturdy looking, others still had leaves sticking out at odd angles, “You can try any of those,” Remus reached forward and took the first one he could reach, it was long enough that he could let his hand hold it and not strain his muscles too much. Clumsily, he leant on the tree as he stood up. He took one step with the branch, though it was more of a stagger, then another, then another.
It was considerably easier with something to support him, “You’re full of brilliant ideas,” He smiled down at the boy who looked as though it was the first time he had heard the words.
“I- Jeez thanks, thankyou,” He stammered out.
Remus’ ears pricked, he caught the scent of something rich, like his mothers cooking, wafting through the forest air. A few metres away from Peter, Remus saw a quivering brown nose poke out from the bottom of a tree.
Peter- catching a glimpse of Remus’ expression- turned to see what he was looking at. Carefully, he turned back to Remus and raised a finger to his mouth, telling him to be quiet. Remus noticed Peters hand creeping towards his bag and grabbing something out from it
Remus watched as Peter lunged at the rabbit, grabbed it by its neck and twisted it in such a violent way Remus had to look away.
“Jesus christ,” He murmured under his breath, Peter didn’t hear him, instead taking the dagger out and proceeding to skin the animal. Peter returned holding up the poor creatures and smiling triumphantly. Something turned in Remus’ stomach.
“Dinner will be great tonight,” Peter announced excitedly, tucking the dagger back into his bag and hoisting it over his shoulders.
Remus murmured out an agreement and began to turn away when he caught a glimpse of the cabin through the trees. The one good leg holding him up threatened to collapse under him as his mind made sense of what he was seeing. “Please…Please no, not the house…not the house,” Remus chanted in his mind as he grew closer. How cruel life had been, destroying everything he loved, then just when things started to look up, taking the last thing he had to remember his family from him. It was cruel, and it was shit and he wouldn't believe it. But the fire burned and Remus continued to breathe and life went on.
Barely visible through the evening light the windows of the small cabin were coughing out great plumes of dark smoke. Somewhere behind him Peter gasped, but Remus didn’t pay attention, he was stumbling through the forest as fast as he could, half dragging his dodgy leg behind him. Desperate to save what he could.
Both Peter and Remus broke through the trees breathlessly, watching as metres away Remus’ home went up in flames.
☪︎
The empty field that once cradled the small cabin was repelled by it, being destroyed by the one thing it sought to protect. The dry grass caught the flame quickly and passed it around like sugar dissolving in water. Climbing through a window were two figures, coughing and sputtering. Triumphant in the mission they had just completed. They watched as they were approached by six people from all angles, two from the forest, two from the fields and two from the road.
They whispered to one another, pointed in the direction of the forest. One of them took out what looked like a firearm and aimed at the two boys. Before the other shoved it away and showed them a piece of paper in their hands. Both figures looked at one another, then tore off in the one direction they were not being approached from.
☪︎
Regulus reached the house and was out of breath, leaning on his knees as he shovelled smokey air into his lungs. Finally looking up again to see that it was true, their house was in flames. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” He erupted, slamming down his bag to the ground and pacing, hands balled tightly.
Lily thundered past him at a sprint nearly knocking Regulus off his feet, “Remus! Remus!,” Her calls were shrill and desperate. She had covered the distance to the cabin in record time. The only thing stopping her from running into the burning building was James, who grabbed her and pulled her away from the fire. Somewhere by the fence, Sirius was crouched with his head in his hands, breathing heavily.
Lily kicked and screamed and bit at James, who struggled to turn her towards the fence where Remus was also crouched, trying to talk to Sirius. Letting out a sob she pushed away from James and raced towards the fence, jumping it and tackling Remus to the floor, who let out a yelp of pain.
Regulus gathered up his bag and made his way over to the group. As the night sky darkened the fire only burned brighter.
Regulus was tired of it. Of the destruction, of the smoke, of the heat. He wanted rest and serenity. He wanted to put his things somewhere and not constantly worry about how fast he could grab them and run. He wanted to own more things than he could fit in a backpack.
A beam cracked and part of the ceiling fell in. The world clearly had other plans for Regulus Black.