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And then the knock echoed through the room. They both stood paralyzed with wide eyes and tense muscles.
Jason continued with his hand raised and an expression of absolute terror. While Dick stared at the ground in the clumsy direction in which his head was left behind the blow on his cheek.
It wasn't even that strong. Yes, he would leave a very noticeable bruise in the morning, but he had been through worse. That didn't take away the sinking feeling in his stomach.
Jason slowly lowered his hand. His heart was beating a thousand per second. His legs moved backwards on their own, away from Dick.
For his part, Dick slowly turned to see Jason. There was no fear in his gaze, rather, he looked confused.
They both looked at each other in silence. None dared to break the calm that followed the slap that fell abruptly on Dick's cheek.
When Dick slowly looked away from Jason's eyes, only to quickly glance at the strategic exits of the place, Jason knew everything went to shit.
Dick wasn't afraid of him, but he knew he wasn't safe around Jason. He didn't just feel betrayed. He knew that every minute there could be an opportunity for Jason to move forward with this physical altercation.
Telegraphing his every move, Jason walked over to the couch, where he dropped carefully. Dick watched him every step. When Jason finally stood still, Dick rushed to grab his jacket and bolt out the door.
Jason stared at the ground for a good fifteen minutes, until finally it all hit him.
He was just like his father.
Jason buried his face in his hands and screamed. He screamed so loudly that his throat tore and he was speechless. He screamed until his shame brought him down. He screamed and no matter how hard he did, the feeling of Dick's cheek against his hand refused to go away.
Dick silently looked at the information in front of him, important information that he couldn't understand. His mind was not where he should be. Behind his eyelids, that fight continued to play on an infinite loop.
The calls, the screams, and finally the blow, were really haunting Dick.
What would have happened if I had never complained to Jason? Well, he definitely wouldn't have a huge bruise, clearly shaped like a hand, on his cheek.
Plus, he definitely wouldn't be getting furtive glances from his family.
He couldn't say that he had fought with Jason, if he did, everyone would go after his boyfriend. He didn't want that. But he couldn't go home to Jason either. So he remained silent in the mansion.
Three days had already passed. Three damn days and that fucking mark was only getting worse.
Bruce must have at least suspected what had happened and yet, he called Jason to the cave.
Jason was important to the mission, Dick knew that, but if Jason went to the cave, he would have to act as if nothing had happened. Dick really wasn't prepared for that.
He couldn't forget the feeling of fear and betrayal that came over him. He couldn't get the sound of the loud bang out of his head. He couldn't forget how he crawled into Bruce's bed like when he was a scared kid. He couldn't forget how she cried having to overcome the bruise with makeup.
Deep down, Dick knew he had to end this relationship, but another part of himself was screaming for him to try again.
A part of him was screaming for him to reconsider because Jason had given him the chance to leave and it was just a blow.
But the logical part told him that if he let this happen once, Jason would do it again eventually.
The thought of Jason putting his hands on her again made him sick. But he knew it was a possibility.
His thoughts went to shit when Jason's booming voice echoed through the cave, announcing his arrival.
Dick allowed himself a minute of fear and anxiety, and then put on his mask of smiles and perfection. He stood up and walked over to Jason, brimming with emotion.
Jason looked at him and opened his arms, as delighted as ever.
It was when their bodies touched that everything went to shit.
Jason hugged him, but stiffened, not knowing how to touch Dick. For his part, Dick trembled slightly and his smile faltered. It was easy to hide in each other's arms to avoid everyone seeing them. But they knew it and that was bullshit.
Jason was the one who pulled away slightly, enough to look each other in the eyes. But it was Dick who refused to look at him and kissed him instead.
When they pulled away they were finally able to resume their act.
Bruce never looked at them when they were together. Not to mention the children, so none of them noticed. It was a relief.
What wasn't a relief was having to return to Jason after the mission.
They ate dinner in silence. Dick didn't say anything and neither could Jason.
Dinner was delicious. But he knew she was, she was Dick's favorite.
It was when Dick settled down to take the couch to sleep that Jason was finally able to find his voice.
“I'm not telling you that it has to be today or now.” Dick shuddered completely at his words. Jason quickly backed away, leaving a distance of two meters between them. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He murmured. “I can go. I have a safe house near here. “I know you hate sleeping on the couch.”Jason finished by hanging his head.
Dick turned around, his back to Jason. Stupid move in a case like this.
“I want to fix things.” Dick finally said.
Jason looked dumbfounded at the back of Dick's head.
“What happens if I do it again?” Jason asked. The idea was disgusting, but if Dick let him get away with it once, what was to stop him from doing it back?
“I know he won’t.” Dick turned around to look him in the eyes. “But that doesn't mean he's not afraid that it could happen again.” Jason swallowed hard. “So the best thing will be to start from scratch. I know you are capable of doing it, so my perspective of you totally changed. But I still love you and that sucks because now I want to forgive you.” Dick looked away.
With a deep breath, Dick slowly approached Jason. Who, for his part, knew perfectly well that there was fear and doubt every step of the way. But there was also determination, the same as there always was when Dick faced a particularly difficult mission. That made him sick.
Dick rested his hands on Jason's shoulders and then rested his head on his chest.
“Tell me you're at least sorry.” Dick's voice cracked as his body began to shake and all determination went to shit.
Jason wrapped his arms around her body, knowing it did much more harm, but also brought comfort.
His throat closed and his chest heaved. The thought of not feeling it made him feel like shit.
Of course he felt it. But Dick didn't know that.
“Of course I'm sorry. “I’m so sorry, Dick, I really do.” Jason clung to him and they both cried silently.
This is going to be really hard, but Jason will do his best to make it work.