Chapter Text
4회
When the boy woke up with nothing but a blank slate of consciousness, his initial panic set in. It didn’t feel real, like he wasn’t real—just an empty entity that floats around with no sense of anything around him. The pungent smell of antiseptic, the blank white walls, the constant beep of the machine beside him—he identified this place as the box of death. He was in the hospital with no recollection of anything even his name. Despite that he was able to recognize his physiological need to pee so he pulled out the tubes and catheter attached to him. The sensation stinged and it was the first sign of his life.
When his feet touched the ground, the cold tiles of the floor made him realize what a biting chill feels like for the first time. Like a newly-born fawn, he walked towards the bathroom with unsteady legs. In the bathroom was a mirror and in the mirror was the person he recognized as himself. His face was ashen and his cheeks had sunken. The crack lines of his lips were prominent. He was able to identify what he previously looked like just fine which is why he knows that whatever condition he is in now is very terrible.
He heard the door to his room open and after exiting the toilet, he was greeted by a middle aged woman who looked like she had been crying profusely—she seemed upset, like she was visibly irked. She clasped the boy’s shoulder and slowly maneuvered him back to the bed.
Is she his mom?
The boy was visibly confused and she stared at her with wide eyes.
“Your name is Jang Haneul.” The woman rubbed his head affectionately, but her voice was stern and her eyes were filled with conflicting emotions. It seemed this woman knows he has no memories of anything and the first thing that was shoved in his head was his name, typical, but there was no pretense of worry in the woman’s eyes.
The boy, Haneul, didn’t utter a single word of response. He felt his mind piecing pieces of himself ponderously. As he supplied it with the information of his name, nothing follows.
“Did you also forget to speak, my dear.” The woman asked.
“Ah–ar–” Haneul coughed a couple of times, his voice gravelly and hoarse from being unused for a long time. “A—are you my mom?”
The woman looked at him and shook her head—she replied “Not yet, but I will be soon.”
Haneul eyed her, perplexed. The woman smiled at her ominously. “You will be part of the family soon, my dear. Haneul-ah, you have to get well soon to take care of your fiance, my son.”
Haneul, a boy who just woke up with no memories of the life he had before, his name, even his parent’s name, and now he apparently has a fiance whose name is also unknown. Haneul was overwhelmed with the sudden surge of information and he clutched his pounding head.
The woman’s grip on his shoulder tightened. Her voice was firm as she said, “Haneul-ah, I know this might be overwhelming but you have to know what the current situation is. You’d also want that, right?”
Haneul reluctantly nodded. He does want answers but he felt like needed rest more than ever. This woman who was apparently his mother-in-law— whose name he doesn’t even know as well —barged into his room, when he just woke up from feeling like being born for the first time again in his life, just kept on pummeling information right to his face.
“Haneul-ah, from this day forth, you have to be strong to support Hyunbin, hm?” The woman goaded him. Haneul assumed that Hyunbin is his fiance’s name. As expected, the name doesn’t ring a bell on his head as well.
“My dear, from now on you two only have each other.” Like a curse, it left the woman’s lips in a desperate plea.
𖤓✧☪︎
The initial period of Haneul’s recovery from his three months long trauma-induced coma is spent funneling information straight to this memory bank. From his perspective, it feels like listening to a story of a character in a novel. It feels so surreal, like it wasn’t his life being told to him. His fiance, whose face he only ever sees with pane glass separating them in the ICU room, was still unconscious.
Haneul was told that their unfortunate accident was caused by the slippery roads as it was raining that day. Hyunbin was said to be driving past the speed limit and the combination of the wet road caused their car to swerve and crash straight into another car from the intersection. The driver seat was subjected to greater damage because Hyunbin maneuvered his side to take the impact of the hit. It was a miracle he was alive but he didn’t come out unscathed. He became paralyzed from the waist down while Haneul, relatively unharmed, came down from the accident with dissociative amnesia.
Knowing this information, Haneul wallowed in guilt. It was eating him alive with each passing second his fiance wasn't conscious. He had to live his life walking forward knowing he made his fiance immobile. Shame and guilt has permanently tied down Haneul to Hyunbin. He owed his life to him now. He would make it up to him by forever keeping it in mind that he is able to walk with his two feet because Hyunbin can’t.
It was only two weeks after he woke up that Hyunbin followed after. His mother-in-law, Mrs. Jang, refused anyone who wanted to visit his son, even Haneul. He didn’t understand why she would have the need to forbid him from seeing his own fiance but he acquiesced.
Days after, he was finally able to finally see him. Hyunbin greeted him with a wide smile that choked up his heart. His fiance was still smiling at him despite everything that happened.
Haneul’s knee went limp on his bedside as muttered— I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry— over and over.
Hyunbin grabbed his face and wiped the tears streaming down his cheeks with his thumb.
“It’s okay. Starting now, you just have to be by my side, be my legs for me, walk with me, and never leave me again, hm?”
Haneul agreed with a tentative nod and he never questioned why Hyunbin would ever think that he would ever leave him.
𖤓✧☪︎
Five months into Haneul and Hyunbin’s recovery, Mrs. Jang was already arranging for their marriage, as if she was afraid of someone running away. Shortly after that, they got married privately with the guest only being Hyunbin’s family and relatives.
Haneul had once asked Hyunbin about his parents, but he said that he had no other living relatives back in China. Though Haneul found it odd, he just accepted it as it is. What would Hyunbin even accomplish by lying about that? When he asked about his previous name because his name certainly didn't sound Chinese when he was one, Hyunbin gave him a pained smile. His face cannot conceal the fact that he doesn’t like Haneul’s question.
“Why can’t you tell me? That’s a part of who I am!” Haneul’s voice grew sharper, trembling with frustration.
“What part of starting anew can you not understand? I’m doing this for us so we could leave that past behind!” Hyunbin roared with equal intensity in his voice, and Haneul couldn't help but flinch at his sudden tone.
“How can I move forward when there is a part of myself missing? Do I have no right to my own past? Do you know how it feels to wake up everyday knowing I’m not complete?” Haneul was sobbing hard, his desperation growing each passing second.
“You think you’re the only one hurting, huh? You don’t know what it feels to have these damn useless legs! If you feel incomplete then what am I? Pathetic? Useless? Worthless?” Hyunbin hit his legs hard repeatedly with each words he utter as if to put an emphasis on it. He didn't flinch with every struck because his legs were already numb from any feeling.
And just like that Haneul froze, his hiccups subsided and like a clockwork, Haneul regressed back into his apologetic self, mumbling apologies over and over.
Haneul lived like that for nearly a year—apologizing for every ire Hyunbin would pour at his direction, for causing him so much pain, for being worthless by his side. Haneul felt like it was okay, it made sense because everything was his fault. It wasn’t love that serves as the foundation of their marriage, it was self-reproach. He blamed himself for the suffering their marriage had to go through and a situation he didn’t even have a full picture of because always left in the dark.
Haneul was walking in an endlessly long and dark tunnel and there was no light shining at the end of it.
When Haneul brought up wanting to study music at the family dinner with Hyunbin and his mother-in-law, his husband suddenly threw an outrage. He didn’t know what had elicited such a strong reaction from him, but he refused to cower in fear again.
“No matter how hard I try, you just keep trying to leave my side.” Hyunbin’s voice was calm but it was simmering with so much anger and sense of betrayal.
“I am not trying to leave your side. You are all I have!” Haneul shouted back in response. Them only having each other on their lives was persistently drilled into him as if a heavenly mandate. There was no way he would forget about that.
“Then why—” Hyunbin pushed his plate aside with so much force that it clattered and broke into pieces as it hit the floor. “Why are you doing this!”
Haneul flinched from the loud sound and his husband abruptly wheeled himself out of the room. Haneul tried to get up and follow him but he was pulled back with a strong force. His cheek was met by a loud whack, almost dislodging his jaw in place. He clutched his swollen cheeks and glanced back at his mother-in-law who stared at him with a detached glare.
Haneul was so surprised at her action. The sound of the slap resonated through his ears and it rang fervently in his head. The woman was always impassive, yet sometimes she was a little affectionate when it comes to him. But when her son was upset, Haneul guessed that his existence didn’t matter at all.
“I let into my family, let you marry my son, feed you, cloth you and this is how you repay us? You aren’t even ashamed that you came out of the accident completely unscathed while my son had a good future taken away from him? Just for how long are you going to make it difficult for us!”
A pang of guilt stabs right through his heart and sliced it off clean in half. It was the guilt that kept him tied down to his house. He didn’t wish for them to marry—he didn’t wish to be fed, clothed and housed—what he wanted was to find himself. He barely knew his own husband. The ring on his finger was a constant reminder that in sickness and health, till death and to eternity, he has to make up for the life he stole from Hyunbin for being the only one to come out fine from that freak accident. With that he guessed that he can live with a broken mind.
It could have been because of the force of the slap, the crushing guilt, the constant stress about identity and the overwhelming sense of unknown loss, Haneul suddenly had a hard time keeping his eyes open, blinking warily. The axis of his world tilted as he tried to keep himself standing but his knees buckled and he felt a liquid gushing from his nostrils. The liquid wasn’t blood red, it was clear and watery but not like those of what you usually get from common colds. It wasn’t the first time he had this episode of runny nose and he simply brushed it off as seasonal flu. As he slumped on the floor, his head thudded on cold tiles. He felt the world fading and his eyes shut close.
𖤓✧☪︎
When he woke up, he met with the white blank walls again. He was starting to hate the hospital—its sterile smell and the deafening silence. Hyunbin was already by his side clutching his hands tightly. There was a look of guilt etched on his face. He promised Haneul that he would change for the better and that moment was just a one time thing because his emotions got the best of him. If it was indeed a one time thing, Haneul thinks that he might have hallucinated the other instances.
The doctor came to check on Haneul and brief him and his husband about his condition. He wasn’t simply having a minor concussion or nosebleed. The clear liquid that constantly rushed out of his nose wasn’t just a simple cold. His constant dizziness, headache and nausea that he considered as an aftereffects of the accident and amnesia were actually symptoms of a leak on his cerebrospinal fluid. He had a CSF leak, and it was fortunate that they discovered it early.
When the doctor left, Hyunbin stared at him in disbelief. His head hung low and as if they reversed in position, he was now the one mumbling apologies to Haneul.
“You can continue your studies and we’re also going through your surgery.” He said, as if Haneul had no say in his life. “We’re gonna move to America, you can do whatever you want, anywhere but in Seoul.”
Like the obedient husband he was, he had no choice but to agree and live the way he is told to earn his keep. Haneul had an inkling telling him that things were going out of his hand not because it’s something he can’t control but rather because the control is being taken away from him.
𖤓✧☪︎
Life in America at first felt like Haneul was a fish scooped out of the pond. When he said that he wanted to study music, it was just out of genuine interest. Music was something he felt like he could truly pursue and it felt like it was an integral part of himself. Haneul felt that maybe it was, in the past.
As a new student who was clearly not American, Haneul was the subject of curious glances and distasteful gazes. However, he was single-minded in pursuing his endeavors. He didn’t have the time to afford being distracted when Hyunbin could change his mind in a blink of an eye and send him back to Korea, uneducated.
The good thing was Haneul was a genius. Even though the better part of his memory was sealed shut, when it comes to violin, his muscle-memory is infallible. The curious gazes were now shifted to gaze of envy and admiration.
For almost four years, he grappled with maintaining his studies while tending to his husband. When he got home from a particularly tiring day, Hyunbin was already lying supine in their bed. He would slide his way on their blanket and hug his husband’s waist tight.
“How was your day?” Hyunbin asked.
“Same old. What about you? How’s the therapy? Haneul replied while propping his head on his husband's chest. He could hear the silent staccato of his heart against his ears.
“It still hurts but there have been some improvements.”
Hyunbin has been going to physical therapy to prevent the paralyzed nerves of his legs from rapidly deteriorating and maintaining the strength of the muscles that were still functional. Though this doesn’t offer a way for him to stand on his own again, setting goals and doing something for himself drastically improved his aggressive and avoidant tendency.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there again.” Haneul hated how weak he sounded.
“You should be. Your poor husband is struggling, the least that you could do was to keep me company.” Hyunbin whined light-heartedly but Haneul hated the way the feelings of shame colored his entire being.
“I’m sorry. Final’s almost over. I should be graduating very soon.”
Apologies and apologies. The same thing over and over. again He wasn’t even explicitly forgiven from his sin and so many years have passed that he cannot get himself out of the trenches of self-reproach. Guilt wasn’t just a feeling, it was a place he was condemned to.
“How’s your writing?” Haneul brought up another subject before he could wallow further in self pity.
“Are you that excited for it to be finished?” Hyunbin chuckled, and ran his fingers through Haneul’s hair in a tender manner.
“Of course! It’s our love story. We’re the main characters so I’m so excited for you to publish it.” Hyunbin started picking up writing as a form of pastime and his first story was their love story, he said.
Haneul had once asked him how their love story went and Hyunbin would indulged him briefly until he finally decided to pen it down because Haneul kept asking him to recount it every night as if it’s a bedtime story.
“We met at a cafe.” Hyunbin once said. He told about him how they met in a cafe where he was a barista and Haneul was a frequent customer. He said that Haneul would order a strawberry latte each time and unfailingly whenever it was his shift.
“So I was a strawberry type of person?” Haneul would ask and his husband would tell him that he wasn’t. Hyunbin claimed that he was the strawberry person and he recommended it to Haneul the first time they met. From then on Haneul kept ordering strawberry latte to pick his interest. One day, Hyunbin asked to take him out for dinner and he agreed because he was just waiting for Hyunbin to make the first move.
In the back of Haneul’s mind—it made sense. There was some sense of familiarity about them meeting in a cafe setting, ordering drinks, going out to dinners and dating. If there was a miniscule voice in his brain that was telling him that the story doesn’t make sense, he brushed it off as doubt that filled his head because he can’t recover his own memory.
When Haneul asked Hyunbin to continue the story, his mood soured. The story goes from a loving youthful romance to a melodrama. Hyunbin said that his mother was especially against their relationship and did her best to separate the two of them. Haneul knowing his mother-in-law’s wrath tried to break it off amicably with Hyunbin and that’s how they got into an argument in the car that led to their demise.
Once Hyunbin finished narrating their story, Haneul had gone mute. Their story was a typical drama series, it seems. But on the brighter outlook, their story is yet to be finished. It’s still ongoing and who knows where this story will lead them.
𖤓✧☪︎
Just months after Haneul graduated from uni, they were immediately called back by Mrs. Jang to return to Korea at once. She is finally settling the legalities of her business now that Hyunbin’s younger sister is finally getting married. Much to Hyunbin’s dismay, they were returning to the land he very much hated for some reason. He insisted that both him and Haneul can live the rest of their lives in America, but Mrs. Jang was equally persistent.
When Haneul finally set foot in Korea, Ricky was the first one to reach out to him. He met Ricky briefly, when the younger studied in America when he was in his junior year. They bond over their shared heritage and history of living in Korea. Ricky was one of the few genuine friends he truly made in his time in the states. Their friendship was cut short, however, when Ricky promptly returned to Korea. Haneul was glad though that he returned because the next time he was calling, he asked for him to play in his wedding.
He was honored to play for Ricky’s wedding. It’s always such a joy to celebrate the union of two lovers through music and it is made so much more special since he was playing for his friend.
It was through Ricky’s wedding as well, where he met Hanbin, the man who gazed at him like he would choke on tears at the mere sight of him.
Hanbin was terrifyingly familiar at a level he couldn’t comprehend. It was morbidly fascinating and frightening to feel so much attraction to a person he just met.
It seemed as if the strings of fate were trying its best to pull them together when Haneul met him again in his very own workplace. When they met for the second time, he still looked at him with so much grief and bottled emotion that it constricted his own heart.
Haneul prayed that it was just a flimsy attraction, one that he would get over once he got to know the guy and decide that he makes a better friend than a point of interest. On the other hand, Hanbin was excruciatingly obvious. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist for Haneul to know his ardent attraction.
Haneul couldn’t find a single fault in him. When it didn't seem like he was about to cry, Haneul could get a good look at his features. Hanbin was endearingly stunning. The indent lines that would bloom on his cheeks like a cat whisker when he smiles, his full wide grin and his eyes that would crinkle in crescent—it all made him devastatingly charming, lovely even.
Hanbin often followed Haneul around, spoiling him with so much attention, and taking him out for dinners and lunch. Haneul doesn’t even have to say a word because he already knows what he prefers. Sometimes he would get him small trinkets like the red panda keychain that he got him because he said it reminds him of Haneul—or the whale bracelet that he just randomly gave because he said it was stuck in his house for so long and it could use a lovely owner that would compliment it. However, the way that Hanbin was looking at the tiny bracelet, it seemed like it was something precious he kept dearly in his heart.
It was those little things that would make Haneul’s heart overflow with so much love. Hanbin had too much love to give, and it was gratifying to be the receiving end of it.
Deny. Deny. Deny.
Haneul was going to pretend he didn't see anything. He was afraid of committing more mistakes to his husband, like adding more years to his sentence. When Hanbin looks at him with such earnest devotion, it strangles his heart.
It mortified him that he was more scared to deny Hanbin of the mutuality of their feelings, hurting the younger's heart than the repercussions it will have on his marriage. He was a married man, for god’s sake. It didn’t make sense to fall over and jeopardize his marriage for a man he just met.
He felt so awful of himself but for once it wasn’t because he felt an overwhelming guilt, rather because it felt right . When he looked at Hanbin, it was like seeing a mirror of himself. His memories may be incomplete, but Hanbin feels like the one who would finally complete him.
𖤓✧☪︎
He thought he was hearing things—like the extent of his trauma and CSF leak, made him experience auditory hallucinations as well. When Hanbin called him “Hao-hyung” with his unmistakably clear voice, it was like pulling drawers in his memory bank and each file of his recollection came flying. When Haneul tried to pick up one paper and read, everything else was illegible except for the fact the word ‘HAO’ was written in capital letters. It was screaming at him, calling out to him—in the way that Hanbin lovingly enunciated it.
Hanbin said those words as if he was reminiscing about a sad story. He absolutely sucks at making excuses because whatever he just said sounded like he scrambled to make it up on the spot.
Before Haneul could realize, he was already crying. It was peculiar. He doesn’t know why he was crying. His heart was telling him, however, that he just lost something so vital like a part of himself. Suddenly, Hanbin’s gaze at him made sense. It was the look of someone who experienced a major loss. Haneul doesn’t understand why he was mirroring those exact same feelings of loss when he just recently met him. All these realizations were too overwhelming for his addled brain to comprehend. His balance being off was once again and that's a red alarm for another recurring leak in his brain.
But for once, there was a solid chest that grounded him. Hanbin enveloped him in a warm embrace . His tears were dampening the collar of Hanbin’s shirt. He closed his eyes and let himself be wrapped around Hanbin's warmth.
𖤓✧☪︎
Reality came crashing down so fast with just one call from the hospital. It usually means that something has horribly gone wrong with Hyunbin’s rehabilitation.
When Haneul arrived at his husband's room, he found him sitting on the bed, staring at the walls blankly with bloodshot eyes. He took a single, but his husband didn’t even bother to spare him a glance when he let his presence be known.
“What happened? Are you hurt?” There was caution in Haneul’s voice as he approached Hyunbin closer. When their eyes are finally locked, Haneul can see the seething in those orbs.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He coldly replied. The tone sent literal chills on Haneul’s spine. He felt like he was on the stage of execution on the day of his final judgment and Hyunbin was about to inflict the wrath of his punishment.
“Didn’t tell you what?” Haneul had many things he didn’t say. Hanbin was among those things and perhaps the bigger part of those things. But he really hasn’t done anything to provoke such ire from his husband. It was like a scene from the early period of their marriage, one that he thought would dwindle down ever since they moved to America. Perhaps, there was really something in the soil of Korea that Hyunbin loathed.
“You didn’t tell me you were teaching. Have you truly forgotten your place? At home, by my side, your husband’s side.” Every word that he was spewing felt like a corrosive poison that seared burns on his skin.
“So this was it’s all about, huh?” Haneul chuckled monotonously. “You’re getting worked up because I can’t have my own life and be your obedient little husband. Just how low do you take me for?” Haneul was clenching his fist so bad that his nails left red indents on his palm.
“I guess you’re tired of me, huh? You’re sick of having a husband who is an invalid!” Hyunbin’s voice was filled with so much venom and self-commiseration.
“Don’t twist my words like that! You know what’s wrong and you’ve been actively trying to avoid it in the entirety of this marriage. I’ve never once used your condition to forsake you, I loved you—” Haneul paused in the middle heated rambles. The word love felt more like a burden than an emotion. If this is what love was, it was going to kill him.
Haneul let out a heavy breath and he wished he could expel his frustrations along with it.
“Be honest. You’re hiding something from me, right? My memories, my name, my parents and my past, why do you get to remember them when I am bound to forever lose it—when I am the one who is entitled to it.”
Haneul honestly didn’t want to reach this point of no return. He was about to confirm his long overdue suspicions.
“I’m starting to remember everything. My name, it’s Hao, right?” Haneul was bluffing. He can’t remember anything to help himself out of the situation. A little bluffing won’t hurt and he was right because he Hyunbin bit the bullet. He could see the steam white-hot anger rising from his ears. But at the same time, there was cold sweat that broke out of his forehead. Haneul struck a nerve, a very vital one at that.
“How much do you remember? Are you also seeing him again? Is that why you’re acting up?” Hyunbin’s hand trembled uncontrollably and there was fear coursing his veins like frigid ice.
Haneul almost guffawed at his reaction. Who’s him? Why does this him trigger so much dread to Hyunbin? Was he perhaps referring to Hanbin? For some reason there was a strong tug on his guts that was pointing to Hanbin. A little more pushing could tip him over the edge.
“Yes, I met him. Are you surprised? Did you really think you could keep me in the dark for so long? Don’t be mistaken, I’m not your toy!”
There were waves of fury bubbling beneath Hyunbin’s quaking figure. Hyunbin suddenly laughed maniacally that it gave Haneul whiplash. Fear gripped his throat the sudden change of air in the room.
“I tried so hard to bury that fucking bastard in your past, now you come digging for him? You ungrateful bitch. You are married to me. You belong to me, Zhang Hao!” The tidal wave of Hyunbin’s rage finally tipped over him.
Before he could notice, the nerves of his brain were working overtime to process what Hyunbin had just said.
Zhang Hao. Car. Shouting. Hyunbin. Lights. Crashing. Blood.
A throbbing pain pulsed through his skull as if someone was hammering him with revelations of his old memory. For one, Zhang Hao was his name. In the car on the night of the accident, Haneul—no, he’s Zhang Hao— Hao could now vividly remember the manic intensity in Hyunbin’s eyes as he made him watch the car drive straight into the intersection when the lights were visibly red.
A speeding car rammed straight through theirs and the impact sent Hao’s head smashing to the window. Beside him, the Hyunbin’s seat was mangled. Pools of blood dripped everywhere in his body. Hao was horrified, panic turned his limbs into a mess of hysteria. Hyunbin and Hao’s eyes meshed for a bated moment. Hyunbin gazed at him with so much intensity, his head slumped over the air bag that was now in shade of red, a stark contrast to its once pure white color. Hao could feel his eyes shutting, but still locked in their gaze, Hyunbin looked as if he wanted to burn this moment in the back of Hao’s eyelids.
When Hao finally grounded himself to the present, tears were already blurring in his eyes. He shuddered in absolute revulsion on what his memory just showed him. Before he could check Hyunbin’s reaction, analyze whether what he saw was real or not or keep himself still for a moment, he found himself running. There was a panicked voice shouting his name but he blocked out any interference as single-mindedly head for the exit.
Outside, the rain was pouring. The sky was painted with various shades of gray, specks of fluffy white clouds and undertones of blue hues like a canvas smeared with blotches of wet paint. The sky wept and just like his name, Hao did as well.
Underneath the deluge that swept the streets of Seoul—a city that is exceedingly familiar to Hao yet he cannot remember—he ran wherever his feet could take him. People were eyeing him oddly as his dashed past people who sheltered from the rain with their umbrella. His tears and the rivulets of rain became one and though he was sobbing violently, no one paid him any attention.
When he reached a bus stop, he mindlessly reached for his phone and dialed a number.
“Hyung?” Hanbin croaked out. The sounds of his voice alone made all of Hao’s muffled emotions come spilling over. Unbeknownst to him, he was crying on the call and Hanbin listened to all of it.
“Hyung, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Why are you crying? Please, please answer me.” Hanbin, the ever-so-loving boy with too much love in his bones. Hanbin, who reminds of everything he wished to remember. Hanbin was someone he once loved and he’s sure of it.
“Hanbin-ah, are you still curious about my original name?” There was a pause before he heard the sound of something clattering on the other side of the call. Hanbin hummed in response, as if he was afraid of his voice failing him when he uttered the word ‘yes’.
“My name—my name is Hao, Zhang Hao. You should call me, Hao-hyung.”