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“James!” Sirius screams from the bathroom.
His best friend comes rushing into the room. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Sirius just points to the spider on the wall and James doubles over with laughter. “It’s not funny! Just kill it. I can’t take a piss with it staring at me with those beady eyes.”
“I’m not going to kill a spider for you.”
“Why not?” Sirius whines.
“I don’t kill innocent creatures,” he states.
“Oh, you and your morals. Just get rid of it!”
James grins manically and points his wand at the spider. “Engorgio.”
Sirius shrieks as the spider grows to the size of a large dog. “James!” he screams, as James runs away. “Fix it! It’s looking at me!” He backs away from the spider towards the door, hands held up like he’s trying to prevent someone from shooting him. As soon as he crosses the threshold to their dorm, he slams the bathroom door shut, trapping the monster inside. Sirius turns to James, “Stop laughing! That thing was ready to attack.”
“It was funny,” James responds.
“No, it wasn’t. It could smell my fear.”
“I can’t wait to tell Peter. And the girls.” He chuckles, “Regulus would have a field day with this.”
“I will actually murder you,” Sirius snarls, and it must be the poison in his voice or his sinister glare that causes the smile to instantly fall from James’ face and he runs out of the dorm.
Sirius lies down on his bed and tries to even out his breathing. The door opens and Sirius sits up, ready to yell some more at Prongs. He knows he’s being dramatic, but there’s an acromantula-sized spider in the bathroom. He’s allowed to freak out a little at that. But it’s not James who walks into the dorm, but Remus.
“James told me what happened,” he closes the door behind him and heads to the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” He panics as Remus reaches for the door handle.
“Fixing his mess.” Remus takes his wand out his pocket and enters the devil’s lair, returning a few moments later with his hands cupped together. “Open the window,” he instructs. Sirius doesn’t have to be told twice and opens the window for Remus to release the now normal sized spider outside.
“My knight in shining armour,” Sirius smiles as he closes the window.
“I’m just glad you’ve calmed down; I heard your screams from the common room.” Sirius groans, of course everyone heard. “I don’t think anyone seemed that bothered,” Remus assures, “they’re used to your shit by now.”
“Well, how can I repay you for coming to my rescue?” Sirius smirks as he trails his fingers up his arm.
Remus pulls him closer by the belt loops of his jeans and plants his lips to Sirius’. He wraps his arms around Moony’s neck and sinks into the kiss. They haven’t been dating long, but every kiss with Remus is magical. The most magical thing in the world, and he goes to a literal school for magic. Sirius tugs lightly at Remus’ sandy curls and revels at the moan he elicits.
They turn in unison to the door as it slams open and Peter immediately covers his eyes like they are completely naked. “What did I say about putting a fucking sock on the door handle?” he exclaims as he leaves the dorm and they burst out laughing.