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I Had to See You

Summary:

Alicen’t doesn’t wish to be absolved. She just needs to tell her.

Come war or not, Rhaenyra had to know.

.

My take on "The Queen Who Ever Was" where Alicent finally talks, albeit a bit too much. Rhaenyra learns about Criston Cole, and Mysaria makes an appearance.

Notes:

This is probably not good, but I had to add to the lore! There's also soo many of these here but oh well >:(

Warning: I am extremely rusty. Haven't written anything in 20 years, so I will take any constructive criticism!

Enjoy this ya filthy animals <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Alicent fiddles with her bloody fingers. She no longer winces, too used to the pain she has always endured on herself. A childhood wound that she has dragged into her adulthood.

The other one is standing right across from her, eyes defiant.

Here she is, alone. A swordless knight behind the door, as she faces the dragon.

She is humiliated.

She curses her brisk mouth, for having grown bolder and commanding after to so many unfair years. But she thinks she’s just never been able to contain her comportment when the other woman is around.

Her mind quickly flashing back to the heated confrontation under the pretence of virtue, and then that morning Rhaenyra walked over to them - still raw and bloody, a dark of hair babe in her arms just because Alicent had demanded to see. 

That fateful night where she had charged forward, eyes wild, a dagger gripped so hard it had hurt against her hand. Sliced skin, dripping blood. A scar that Alicent is having such a hard time ignoring everytime Rhaenyra crosses her arms around the other, the wood crackling in the fire.

She remembers Rhaenyra's sweet words to her, when they were all sitting at the table the night the King died. 

Before it all burned to ashes. 

And now the silver-haired woman is looking at her as if she just grew a second head.

She might as well.

“W-what did you just say?”

Alicent bites her cheek as soon as she repeats, “Come with me.”

The other woman sputters. Alicent looks away in shame.

“Have you lost your mind?”

Alicent can’t really defend herself. She is too late, time has been wasted. Blood has already been shed.

Under a cloak of self-righteousness, as Rhaenyra had told her that evening as both women struggled for power of the dagger.

It was easier for Alicent to fault Rhaenyra's disinterest in the crown and its customs than to take responsibility for all of her schemed actions. She is no longer capable of blaming her father anymore.

“I have not. I mean it.” Alicent breathes.

She lifts her eyes from the floor to look at Rhaenyra, surprised she missed the second the other woman moved to stand closer to her.

Alicent can’t help but run her eyes all over the Princess’ face.

Reveling in the height difference, when years ago, Alicent used to be the taller one.

As if they were whispering secrets when they were twenty years younger, Alicent says, “Let them fight for the throne they all want. Let them shed their own blood for it.” She can’t keep the bitterness out of her tone. “Bring your children, I’ll bring mine. We can leave, we can—“

“You take me as a fool,” Rhaenyra says, eyes flashing as she harshly grabs Alicent’s wrist.

Alicent knows she should be scared, but all she feels is burning relief at the contact.

It fuels her.

“Let’s vanish! Let Daemon fulfil the role he's always pretended to have. He envies you as much as he envied your father. Vicerys told me all about it from when they were younglings.” Alicent can't keep the desperation off of her tone.

“Do not speak on my late father.” Rhaerny commands icily. “Or, my consort.”

Alicent has the urge to vomit, even she hasn't had anything in her stomach for two days.

They stand there in silence.

Rhaenyra has this face, guarded and unforgiving, but her eyes shine with unshed tears that refuse to drop.

Alicent is sure she hasn’t stopped crying since she’s gotten here.

She swallows hard, nervous for what she is about to voice aloud, after locking it away in a deep corner in her head for so many years.

“If it’s the truth that you speak of, that you wish to remain here. If you truly love him… Then there is no reason for me to claim a heart that is another’s.”

The shorter woman's hand grasps at the other woman’s, until they are almost eye to eye.

Rhaenyra’s eyes are wild as she lets go of Alicent as if she is on fire.

Taking a step back, breathing uneasily. The heir stares at every little corner of Alicent’s face, as if deciphering her.

Quickly turning to the knight, Rhaenyra says, “Escort us to my chambers.”

Alicent swallows dry.

 

.

 

The auburn girl stands there rigidly, clenched fists on each side.

She’s in the dragon’s lair.

She stands next to the window. The moon is full.

She listens to the Princess tell her guard to dismiss Alicent’s knight for the evening, to take him back to King’s Landing before sunrise. Alicent was to stay.

Rhaenyra walks over to her, the shadow getting closer. Her steps are heavy and slow as if approaching a wild animal.

In an almost childlike way, she timidly asks, “What did you mean by that?”

Alicent feels herself sweating, even though it's cool where she stands next to the window, and it is well into the nighttime.

The previous tension has dissipated, making everything feel so frail now.

She wonders this is the moment that will change it all.

It must.

Mustering her most confident display, she looks at Rhaenyra straight in the eyes and says, “I’m ready for you. To be yours, and for you to be mine, as it was supposed to be. As it should have been.”

She sees the silver-haired woman, how her eyes shine in the darkness.

“I can’t help it any longer. There’s not been a day I don’t think about you, dream of you, am haunted by you. My marriage to your father—“

That seems to snap Rhaenyra out of her stupor.

“ I do not wish to speak on those who are not here." She says, lips tight. "He was my father, but he was the catalyst of this doomed succession. Thieving you from me, bedding you, it… It always made me sick to think of such.”

Alicent closes the distance between them, wanting to be far no more.

“You must know how much I laid wake so many times, knowing how close you were, thinking of walking over to your chambers.” Alicent almost begs.

Rhaenyra reverts to her last posture, her protective arms wrap around herself in comfort.

Only this time, Alicent's hands reaches for the other woman. Her hands soothing pale tense muscles.

“There is no one else for me than you.”

Rhaenyra muscles start to ease but not before—

“Who was it?” she asks, confusing Alicent. “The lover who sullied you. What is his name?”

Alicent feels her heart drop to her feet. Her expression must show it so because Rhaenyra is narrowing her eyes suspiciously at her.

“Uhm.”

Rhaenyra nods at her, arms crossed again. Alicent is aware of the distance present once again. She didn't realize when she started to slowly retreat in her steps.

But Rhaenyra is pushing, walking slowly towards her as her eyes illuminating the darkness. A dragon lurking its prey.

“Out with it.”

Alicent is back to rubbing on her already sore cuticles.

“Criston,” is all she says. 

It's enough. 

Rhaenyra immediately fumes, nostrils flaring. “Cole?!” she repeats, or rather spits out, even though what Alicent said could not have been clearer.

Her hands go to Alicent arms, gripping as a master would its subject. Alicent just lets her, a dark part of her embracing this roughness.

“I’m sure he was waiting to jump in your bed. I can’t believe you would spread your legs for that brute.”

That stirs something in Alicent. Old wounds. 

“I did such as you did, Princess.”

Rhaenyra seethes. “That was years ago. An involvement so insignificant I have already forgotten it, and if I did remember, it would now just provoke nothing else but utter disgust.”

Alicent stays quiet, repentant. 

“How could you let him touch you?” the silver-haired woman says after a while of silence. “I’ll have Syrax burn him until he is no more.”

Alicent can’t even feel bad for the man.

“It didn’t happen too many times. I’m pretty sure we were both thinking of you during.”

Rhaenyra keeps a hold on her, although not as strong as before.

Alicent revels in her warmth, eyes catching Rhaenyra's eyes trail over her whole face again. Light eyes that are softer now. 

It’s too much for Alicent and she cautiously puts her hands on each side of Rhaenry’s face and presses her lips softly on the other woman’s. She sighs inside Rhaenyra's mouth as soon as the other woman wraps one arm around her waist, placing her other hand on the back of Alicent’s head, pulling her much closer.

They spent the first minutes just standing there, impossibly flushed in the middle of Rhaenyra’s chambers. Lips continue to press on one another, noses rub affectionately before connecting their mouths once again.

The two women caress each other gently, no sudden movement, as if this was a dream they were afraid to wake up from.

Rhaenyra breaks their kiss to run her nose all over Alicent’s neck, and ear, while the other woman just holds her there.

Alicent’s heart threatens to give out, and she is no longer afraid of death if it is in the arms of her beloved.

Rhaenyra comes back for her mouth, sucking Alicent’s bottom lip, eliciting a small whimper as their kiss turns deeper. 

That seems to set Rhaenyra into motion, as she pushes forward, backing Alicent into the wall. Due to the motion, their lips detach for a second before the taller woman harshly presses their lips together again.

Her tongue demands access, to no use, as Alicent eagerly welcomes it inside her mouth. She moans again when their tongues dance with each other.

Rhaenyra moans back, as Alicent’s hands roam from her arms and face, to her hair. Untangling silver hair from its braid.

Alicent’s hips surge forward without meaning to, and Rhaenyra breaks the kiss and lays her forehead on the other woman as they envelop each other, unable to stay away.

They hear the chamber door creak slightly, and Alicent jumps out of Rhaenyra’s arms out of custom.

They both pant, faces flushed from the embrace, hair tangled. 

Rhaenyra breathes out as a shadow that approaches.

Before Alicent can conjure who it is, the figure reveals itself.

“My Queen,” Mysaria says reverently. “I know the hour is late, but you usually summon me after your evening meal. I have heard naught of you.”

Alicent furrows her brows. Rhaenyra stills, just staring at the White Worm almost agape, as she receives piercing stare in return.

She can no longer stand to observed the contest in front of her. Alicent clears her throat, “Lady Myse—”

Mysaria cuts her off, “The Queen Dowager, we could have your head on a stick by morrow. How courageous for you to make a belated appearance.”

Alicent grimaces, constraining her mouth from voicing her indignation.

Rhaenyra snaps, “That’s not to happen. Queen Alicent came seeking peace.”

You are the Queen, not her,” Mysaria sneers. She looks at Alicent with disdain, “You are far too late for peace. You and your usurpers will meet your fate soon enough. Go back to your decaying House. We have no use of you here in Dragonstone.”

Alicent is fuming at her protectiveness and loyalty towards the other woman.

The way Rhaenyra's eyes communicate back, with no use of words. 

It’s clear as day to Alicent that these women are tremendously involved.

She has a knot in her stomach, she feels dread, but the jealousy is overtaking any other emotion.

“Enough, Mysaria.” Rhaenyra finally says. “Your overseeing will not be needed at this time. The hour is late.”

“This is the hour you summon me every night.”

Rhaenery swallows, looking away as she quietly mutters, “Not every night…”

Alicents can feel how hot her face is, biting her cheek and tasting bitter.

Mysaria takes one last look at Alicent, up and down, and then flashes Rhaenyra with a cold smile.

“Very well, My Queen. See you in the morrow.” Mysaria says, before slowly strutting away in a manner that reminds Alicent of a snake.

Rhaenyra sighs tiredly, and Alicent sort of wants to chain her to the wall and have her way with her until she forgets all about the White Worm.

“You won’t,” Alicent says with finality.

“What?,” the other woman asks in confusion.

Alicent steps closer to her, Rhaenyra takes a step back subconsciously.

“You won’t see Lady Mistress in the morrow,” Alicent says, decidedly. “Or, ever again.”

Rhaenyra bumps against the tray table next to her bed. She’s cornered.

“Very well.” She just says.

Mournfully, that’s all Alicent needs.

She grabs Rhaenyra by the face again, crashing their lips together.

Alicent kisses her hard, wet mouth and a persistent tongue that asks for permission no longer. Rhaenyra responds with the same passion, grabbing on Alicent’s hips, before palming her arse to fuse them together again.

Alicent responds by rolling her hips on the other woman, as they both gasp at the friction.

Rhaenyra inverts their position, as now Alicent is the one pressed against the table. She intertwines their fingers, and placing their hands on each side of Alicent, holding her down, as she loses herself in the other woman.

The heir alternates between sucking and biting Alicent’s neck, licking her ears. Never straying too far away from her lover’s mouth.

Alicent can’t move too much since Rhaenyra has taken hold of her hands. She can only tilt her head, giving more skin to the woman that was devouring her.

“Did you ever think about this?,” she whispers to Alicent, making her shiver as their hips rocking against the other in a slow rhythm.

“I haven’t spent a second of my existence without thinking about it.”

Rhaenyra looks at her bashfully, “I feel the same.”

The Princess goes from sheepish to a wolf, as she finally frees Alicent’s hands - which immediately start trying to get Rhaenyra out of her night dress. The latter starts to do the same with her, sharing a laugh when they notice Alicent’s green cape was already on the ground.

Alicent starts pressing wet kisses on the skin that keeps coming into sight, as Rhaenyra moans and tightening her hold on the auburn-haired woman’s hips.

She unquestionably drags off Alicent’s dress until it’s sitting on her waist.

Rhaenyra’s eyes are almost as dark as hers, Alicent thinks, as she watches the other woman look at her as if she was appetizing.

“I’m going to taste all of you.”

Alicent believes her.

Rhaneryra’s hand grips tightly at the back of Alicent’s neck as they kiss wetly, while the other hand runs all over her chest daintily before lowering her mouth to one of her breasts.

Alicent cries out so loud it shames her.

Rhaenyra's mouth is all over her, biting and licking her nipples. She pays equal reverence to both, grabbing them on her hands as she sucks.

“Gods,” she moans. “Thank you.” Alicent breathes out, in appreciation.

Although she had imagined it many times, she never thought Rhaenyra would devote to her body in this way. So many winters have passed, Alicent is no longer six-and-ten.

She grabs Rhaenyra and they kiss filthily. Rhaenyra’s hands grab at her arse roughly through the material they hasn't slid off of her yet. Her swift hands trailing a little bit lower and lower, until she feels warm and—

“Fuck,” Alicent moans, wrapping both her arms around Rhaenyra.

The other woman takes that as consent, bunching up the dress in a smooth effort, her fingers tracing the split of Alicent’s arse as they continue to move deeper until they’re developed by the heat.

Alicent’s face is buried in Rhaenyra’s neck, as the other continues to rub her from behind, her fingers trailing deliciously over where she wants them the most.

Where she needs them the most.

She muses she has let Rhaenyra tease her for far too long. Prudence holds no power in her any longer.

She grabs the other woman’s hand, sits on the table with her legs spread modestly and places her hand in between them. Rhaenyra moans immediately.

Alicent’s hands use Rhaenyra’s to rub on herself, up and down

“Is this what you want?,” Rhaenyra pants, as if Alicent's soaking drawers were not proof enough.

“Yes, my Queen.”

Rhaenyra’s eyes flash at the name, she promptly all but rips Alicent’s drawers off of her, the already ruined fabric coming apart instantly.

Alicent hisses at the exposure of her wetness in the cool air. Without being able to control herself, her hips roll forward wanting to rub on anything. Currently doing it on Rhaenyra’s lower abdomen, smearing a trail of her desire, as she spreads her legs wider to have the other woman as close to her as possible.

Rhaenyra looks down, “Gods, yes. Take pleasure in me.” She cants her hips against the other woman’s. 

Alicent's head feels light, her body throbs exquisitely as they rub on the other. They are both sweating, the dragon’s skin shimmers under the bright moon.

Alicent licks, savouring the sweat off of Rhaenyra’s neck.

The silver-haired woman whimpers when Alicent suckles on her. Not letting it be a distraction, she sneaks her hand between their bodies, and presses.

Alicent shivers, “Yes, please." 

Rhaenyra’s forehead falls on Alicent’s shoulder as her hands continue to rub on wet swollen heat.

Her hand keeps getting impossibly damp as Alicent hips start to rock against it.

“I have wanted to do this for so long,” Rhaenyra breathes out, rubbing before lowering her fingers to ins—

Alicent chokes out, “No, no. This is where I want them," and places her hand on her dilated nub so Rhaenyra can keep scraping her so deliciously.

She feels like a novice, but knows she won't be feel like that for long. 

She's gonna make Rhaenyra do this to her forever.

"I think I'm gonna," she pants out. "You feel so good." 

At that, the heir bites Alicent in the space between her neck and shoulder, a firm hand gripping the back of her neck, as her other hand pinches.

Alicent's mouth shapes into an 'o' as her hips spasm, and her centre drips of her desire. She grips Rhaenyra by the hair, tugging to press her mouth on her lover’s as she releases.

Rhaenyra hisses at the pull, the nails Alicent sunk in her arm will surely draw blood. She doesn’t cease her motions until Alicent is begging her to do so.

Rhaenyra runs her fingers through auburn curls, Alicent lays her head on the other woman’s chest as she catches her breath.

Silence envelopes them for a minute, or two.

In a blink, and with restored will to please, Alicent looks up at Rhaenyra, eyes dark.

“I need to touch you. Now.” Before she’s lifting herself off the table, tugging Rhaenyra towards the bed.

 

.

 

They welcome dawn with an exhausting sigh, finally sliding off of each other's bodies before Rhaenyra is tugging Alicent so she can lay her head on her chest. 

They savour each other's warmth, and stickiness, and they recuperate their breath. 

Not being able to keep wondering, Alicent asks, "What will you tell him?" 

Rhaenyra's eyes are closed, her hand still holding Alicent's on top of her exposed stomach. She hums in acknowledgement. 

"In a strange way, I think he’d understand.” A shadow of a smile paints her face. "I think he's always known."

Alicent knows she will ask again, but feels too content at the moment. She sinks her face on her side of Rhaenyra's neck, smelling her. 

The silver-haired woman mewls in appreciation. The sound prompts her to start drifting off to sleep, while simultaneously warming her up again.

As if Rhaenyra can hear her thoughts, "We need sleep, my love." 

Alicent is relief at the remainder that no maiden was to disturb them here. She enguls deeper into her lover's warm body, finally feeling safe enough to rest.

 

A few minutes later, she blinks at the sound of Rhaenyra's voice,  “I will stay.” 

Her tone is final, all while her fingers trail softly on her Alicent's naked back.

I know, Alicent thinks.

Rhaenyra's words, my part is here, play in her head. Alicent remembers she's always wanted to be a knight.

“And you will too. By my side. Until the end, for better or worse.”

Alicent accepts by pressing her lips to her pale shoulder.

“Forever, my Queen.”

Notes:

Sorry for the inconsistencies, but hope this gave some people (ME) some closure.

Might do some more on the pair. I have been wanting to explore the Alpha/Omega dynamics so that may be next!

I also have a lot of other fandoms I have been wanting to write about so my works may become really random /;