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The chatter around the dinner table is noisy and rambunctious, as most of the Wardens are high on excitement from their last battle.
“Didn’t know an ogre could feel fear,” Oghren says with a belch and a laugh. “But that thing damn near pissed itself.”
Eluvia wrinkles up her nose even as she laughs along with the rest of the group. “Oh, come on, Ogren. It wasn’t going to piss itself.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “It was going to hurl!”
The table erupts into laughter, cheers ringing out. Everyone seems to be in good spirits — even Justice, who watches more than he joins in on the celebrations. Everyone, that is, except for Anders, who keeps his head down and sulks into his drink.
Eluvia nudges him once the food arrives and everyone becomes more interested in their meal than the conversation. “Hey, what’s got you so sulky tonight?”
Anders frowns. “I’m not sulking.”
“You definitely are.”
Anders sighs. “Fine, so what if I am?”
“Then I’d like to know why.”
“It’s nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.” He flicks her lightly on the nose. “Just enjoy your food.”
Eluvia frowns, but accepts that she’s not going to get an answer out of him over dinner, so she turns back to her meal without complaint.
Later that night, she follows Anders to his room, not bothering to be stealthy about it. He doesn’t even do her the courtesy of looking surprised when she slips into his room before he can close the door. “Eluvia–”
“Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll get out of your hair,” she insists.
Anders sighs and crosses his arms. “You used blood magic,” is all he says.
Eluvia blinks. “Uh, yeah? Have you even met me? I use blood magic all the time.”
“No, you–” Anders pinches the bridge of his nose. “When that ogre was about to strike at me, you used blood magic to protect me. You used blood magic for me.”
“Of course I did.” Eluvia doesn’t see the issue. “I wasn’t going to let that thing kill you.”
“But you used blood magic!” Anders snaps. “You used blood magic to help me and I– that’s dangerous.”
Eluvia doesn’t understand where this is coming from. Surely Anders can’t be judging her for her use of blood magic only now? She’s been using it since before their reunion during the darkspawn attacks on Vigil’s Keep. Blood magic is just a tool, like all magic, and one that Eluvia has mastered the use of.
“I’m not going to become possessed, Anders.” Eluvia crosses her arms.
“But you could be!” Anders looks at her with pleading eyes. “I just– I don’t want you to get hurt. Not because of me.”
Something clicks for Eluvia. “This isn’t about blood magic, is it?” Her tone softens. “Anders, talk to me.”
Anders looks away. “Blood magic is dangerous and you used it to protect me. You could have bled yourself dry or– or summoned a demon that could take you over. I’m not worth that.”
There’s a hint of the self-loathing Eluvia knows exists inside of Anders. The hatred she’s only managed to catch glimpses of with how effortlessly Anders hides it. The Circle has taught Anders that he’s nothing, less than nothing, and those lessons take a long time to unlearn.
“Oh, come here, you idiot.” She pulls him into an embrace, which he falls into willingly. “I’m not going to get hurt.”
“But–”
“You know I’m not reckless with what I do. I’m careful. I won’t let anything happen to me.”
Anders pulls away. “How can you be sure? Blood magic isn’t something to be taken lightly.”
“I know, but I promise I’ll be careful.”
There’s a long pause. “Don’t use blood magic to defend me.”
Eluvia sighs. “Anders…”
“I’m serious. I don’t want it.” Anders looks at Eluvia with such intensity that Eluvia knows he’s taking this extremely seriously. “Promise me.”
Eluvia hesitates.
“Please,” Anders begs.
“Okay. I promise.”
She doesn’t know if it’s a promise she’ll be able to keep.