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If they had to pinpoint the moment it started, Lottie and Natalie would both agree that it was somewhere around the fall soccer season of 7th grade.
Natalie had been playing soccer for as long as she could remember, her boyish and shabby attire - especially when paired up with her aggressive demeanor - had always made it easier for her to throw the ball around with other little boys around the trailer camp. She was ecstatic when she found out her middle school had a women soccer team.
The point is, Natalie always liked soccer. But that afternoon in 7th grade, the first time Lottie showed for practice, and she shoved Nat to the ground with her imposing, tall figure as she was trying to get the ball from her? That was the precise moment she decided soccer would become her life. Her purpose.
Lottie was taller than all the other girls in their grade, and she always walked with her arms crossed around her chest, a scoff on her tanned face and her hair in two braids, falling down her shoulders.
Her parents had always told her she should have continued with volleyball instead, it was more appropriate for her height, and more lady-like . But Lottie hated volleyball, she hated having to hear her teammates gossip about boys while they did their stretching, and she certainly hated being told to be more lady-like .
So one day, she simply snapped, decided she had enough and showed up at her middle school soccer try-outs. She didn’t know much about soccer, just glimpses of knowledge from the matches her father would watch on TV every Sunday. She mimicked the moves she remembered seeing from those players, chasing down the ball and trying to take it from the other girls.
Somehow, there was one girl who always managed to have the ball between her feet. Her running wasn’t elegant by any means, it was sloppy, but she was running faster than any of the other girls, and kicking the ball harder than anyone else.
Lottie was immediately intrigued by the sheer dedication and passion exuding from that girl, and decided to spend the latter half of the game to try and tackle her, in a clumsy attempt to use her bigger body and strength to surpass the girl’s agility and technique. She got so caught up at one point that she didn’t even realize how harshly she was slamming her shoulder against the girl’s back, until she heard the loud bump of the blonde’s body falling to the ground.
The coach and the rest of the team hurried over to check on her, and Lottie froze for a second while staring at the girl caressing her scratched knee. It wasn’t anything serious, really, but the slight sight of blood always made Lottie a little too wary.
All the general panic soon fazed out, at the sound of the amused laughter coming out Natalie’s mouth, as she offered out her hand for Lottie to grab it.
“Good game” Nat said through her smirk, and Lottie couldn’t help but grin back, grabbing her hand and helping her get back up on her feet.
“Good game” she mimicked, “You fucking loser”
And from that moment on, all that ever mattered for Lottie and Natalie was having a ball to kick, a field to run through, and the feeling of shoulders brushing, legs tangling together and knees scratching.
They were the worst of rivals and the best of friends, no one else on the team matched their synergy, the ace players of Wyskayok Middle School, the highest scorers of their Youth League, and the stars of WHS Yellowjackets when they made it to Varsity in their sophomore year.
//
It soon turned out that years of female sports rivalry when you’re in peaking puberty generate a ton of unresolved tension and frustration, and at the end of junior year, at Natalie’s sixteenth birthday, after guzzling down a bottle of fine aged whisky they stole from Mr. Matthews’ very secret stash cabinet, Lottie kissed her.
It was makeshift, and they both didn’t know where they should have put their hands as Lottie ended up laying on top of her. But it came naturally, and none of them really talked about it.
They didn’t really need to, as it soon became a sort of innate ritual. When they would lose a game, they would redirect the anger and frustration onto each other, just like they always did, except that instead of ruffling Nat’s hair as she lightly pretended to choke her with her arm, Lottie’s lips now traced marks down Nat’s neck, and her nails left red scratches on her waist.
Lottie thought it wasn’t a big deal. She always knew she liked girls since she played the groom for all the little girls in the neighborhood when they played house. And she always thought Natalie was pretty, and after spending every waking moment with her for the past five years, it was only natural that they could also kiss if they wanted to.
It was just so easy to kiss Natalie. She was always there, at arm’s length, with her bleached blond roots and her smokey eye liner, and Lottie just couldn’t restrain herself from pinning her against the locker after the rest of the team had already left. It felt like a natural development of their friendship. Besides, Natalie told her she could never like Lottie that way. She told her a million times.
It was a lie, obviously, but Lottie didn’t need to know. Natalie appreciated how oblivious Lottie could be sometimes, because she wouldn’t live with herself knowing that the taller girl was aware of how this whole thing was driving Nat absolutely insane.
She tried to drown it, tried to act cool about it, kissing boys at parties and feeling her heart break at the lack of reaction from Lottie. Pretending she didn’t feel her stomach tying to knots when Lottie would do something as simple as talk to other girls on the team, or twirl her hair around her fingers as her face was a little too close to some pretty player from another school at their sophomore soccer year wrapping party.
When senior year came around, they made a miracle. The WHS women soccer team made it to regionals for the first time in twenty years, and Nat and Lottie liked to think it was all thanks to their majestic final move as the clock was about to tick on the ninetieth minute, Nat tackling the opponent’s attacker and Lottie being in the exact position she needed her to be, only to get the ball and throw it with such a good a shot that the poor keeper couldn’t even see the ball before it was slamming against the net.
Nat sprinted towards her and basically threw herself in her arms, Lottie picking her up with ease as they spinned around in the middle of the field. She wouldn’t have minded if time stopped right then and there.
That night, with Lottie’s head between her legs and fingers embedded in the brunette’s hair, Nat promised herself she would tell her how she felt if they made it to nationals.
//
Later that Spring, they made it to the regional semi-finals with relative ease, Lottie and Nat’s chemistry was just too good for their adversaries to get the ball from them. They scored the most goals out of virtually every player in the tournament, except a certain Laura L. from the Newark team.
“So who’s our challenger?” Nat asked Lottie as she sat in front of her at one of the picnic tables near the tournament site, offering the girl her stupidly expensive vegan burger and a soda as she settled in her seat and took a bite from her own cheeseburger. They won their match in the semi-finals just a couple hours prior, and the final game would have taken place the day after.
“Laura Lee Lewis, Newark Team, she’s apparently the rising star of Jersey Women Soccer” Lottie replied, taking a sip from her drink.
“With that ridiculous name?” Nat laughed between a munch at her burger and a sip at her drink, and Lottie playfully kicked her leg from under the table.
“Shut up. I’ve never seen the girl, but apparently she’s a fucking celebrity around here” Lottie replied, before shifting her gaze to the giant clock that stood over the burger truck,
“Newark is facing Woodbridge in like thirty minutes. We should go take a look to what the fuss is about, we’re totally going against Newark tomorrow”
“What, scared we’re gonna lose Matthews?” Nat smirked as she gulped the last sip of her coke, “Didn’t think you were such a pussy”
“Oh my god Nat, this is literally the match that can bring us to nationals” Lottie scoffed, finishing her burger and reserving an annoyed look at her best friend,
“Don’t you want to go to nationals?”
Lottie had no idea how much she wanted to go to nationals, Nat thought, her stupid promise she made to herself a few weeks ago roaring in the back of her mind. She let out a loud sigh.
“Fine, let’s go meet this loser” Nat ultimately gave up, just like she always found herself doing when it came to Lottie.
And that’s how they found themselves on the front row bleachers, a bag of chips in Nat’s hands and a fucking apple between Lottie’s fingers, because of course she had to have her healthy post-meal fruit.
“Those things have a disgusting smell” Lottie muttered as she chewed on her green apple, her eyes pointing at the cheese-flavored chips on Nat’s lap.
“I’m sorry princess, not everyone wants a fucking apple as a snack” Nat bumped her shoulder lightly against hers, and Lottie just scoffed and smiled at her, her eyes laying on Nat’s face for a little too long for the blonde not to feel her cheeks blushing and a urging need to look away.
“Hey, it’s starting,” Nat said as she saw glimpses from afar of the teams entering the field, “What’s our star’s number?”
Lottie removed her eyes from Nat’s face to take a good look of the field, “Two”, she simply said, now overly focusing on the entering players.
It didn’t take long for them to spot her. Even from afar, it was impossible not to see how the sun reflected on her shiny blonde hair, tied in a low ponytail while some locks fell on her forehead in a neatly combed fringe. Blue eyes were brimming with determination and this cocky little smile painted her pink lips, highlighting her dimples and rosy cheeks.
She looked about Nat’s height, so about five inches less than Lottie. She had a particularly good shape, which was perfectly normal for a soccer player, but the muscles in her calves and upper arms were too visible for them not to pleasantly take notice.
She was gorgeous, obviously. Nat always appreciated a beautiful girl, even if she usually acted like she preferred boys around Lottie to keep up her act of being casual about them hooking up. This time though, she let an ironic whistle escape her lips, low enough for only Lottie to hear.
Lottie just gave her a quick look, her mouth slightly open, and shook her head in response. She was absent, and not in the way of I forgot to take my meds and now I’m going to be dissociated from reality for the rest of the day - absent that Natalie had learnt to adapt to, no, she stood instead in a sort of awe for this girl that made Nat’s blood boil in anger.
And to make things worse, this girl was beyond amazing with the ball. It was as if she owned the field, sprinting from one corner to another with an indescribable elegance that made it impossible to look away. She scored two goals by herself only in the first half, and a group of girls from her school were shouting, holding banners for their team right behind where Lottie and Nat sat, cheering and jumping from their seats.
When break came, Laura Lee met their curious staring eyes as she was gulping down a sip of water from her bottle, and held eye contact as she drank it down, before giving them a smirk and raising her voice so as they could hear her.
“The Yellowjackets are trying to study their adversary before the final?” she asked, giving her bottle back to one of the benched players of her team and keeping her eyes fixed on Lottie and Nat.
“Yeah, getting ready to kick your asses” Nat replied with a grin, watching the girl with a challenging look, before giving a quick glimpse on her side to see Lottie just stare at Laura Lee in silence, her eyes overly focused and mouth still slightly open.
Nat thought she was fucking embarrassing, but the blonde girl had her eyes fixed on Lottie too, and they stared at each other for what Nat thought was an eternity before the whistle blew, indicating break was over.
The blonde looked back at Nat and mouthed a very late response, “I can hardly wait”, she smiled as she ran back to the field.
“Dude” Nat put her hand on Lottie’s arm and lightly shook her, “You’re being a fucking creep”
“What?” Lottie turned around to meet Nat’s eyes, finally giving her some attention.
“You’re like, drooling all over” Nat let out a small chuckle, pretending it didn’t hurt her to see Lottie infatuated like that, “We have to beat her ass in the field tomorrow, not sleep with her”
“Shut up” Lottie laughed, her cheeks slightly tinted in red, and Natalie hated it, “I can win the game and console in her in bed about it later”
“Fucking bitch” Nat scoffed playfully as she watched Lottie’s eyes turn back to the field when the referee whistled again. And just like that, Lottie’s whole attention was shifted on Laura Lee again.
Newark won, of course, and Nat and Lottie watched as her teammates picked Laura Lee up and carried her in a winning pose all around the field, until they disappeared from their view.
Lottie stood on her seat for a few seconds, before abruptly standing up, “Come on”, she told Nat, who reserved her a confused look.
“We gotta get ready for tonight’s party” Lottie smiled as she started walking away, Nat following her with a slightly puzzled look. Lottie was already playing in her mind every single possible scenario of how she would have approached the blonde girl later at the party, and felt her cheeks blushing at the idea.
Maybe Nat was right, she did feel a little embarrassed at how down bad she felt for someone she saw for the first time two hours ago, but she couldn’t help it, nor control it.
She never felt that way before.
//
Her and Nat showed up at the wrapping party uncharacteristically early, Nat had a red tank top over her leathered jeans, and when that was the case, Lottie would usually spend the night thinking about the million ways she could have get her best friend to slip out of them as she pushed her down her bed, but tonight, Lottie’s eyes were too busy wandering around the room to notice how hot Nat looked.
Nat watched Lottie desperately looking everywhere to catch a glimpse of the blonde, and couldn’t help but let out a loud sigh as she gulped down some cheap beer that they managed to pour in their glasses when the staff wasn’t looking.
She hated how Lottie had dolled up for the party, her white blouse falling over her shoulders, fully exposing her collarbone, and her skirt was too pink and way too short to leave room for imagination. Natalie was going insane at the idea of not getting to sleep with Lottie tonight.
It happened before, of course. When they found someone who struck their chords at a party, the other would just understand and be supportive, encouraging her best friend to go get laid instead of ending up in bed together. Natalie had always accepted it, and it’s not like she hadn’t ditched Lottie to sleep with boys too sometimes, when she was a little too in her feelings for wrapping the night with sex with Lottie with allegedly no strings attached.
This time however, Nat had the feeling that things were different. Lottie was nervously fiddling her finger around her plastic cup, gulping down one glass after the other, waiting for the girl to show up.
They had to wait until midnight for her to condescend to show her face. She had a light blue dress, way too tight for people not to stare despite the white jacket she had loosely put on, its sleeves falling to reveal her shoulders. She paired it with a smokey blue eyeshadow, matching with her eyes. Nat started to think that she could have fallen for this too.
“Fuck” Lottie muttered out loud, clumsily putting down her glass, “She’s here, Nat, what do we do?”
“I’m sorry, we? ” Nat looked at her, furrowing her brows, “I don’t want anything to do with you thirsting over our fucking enemy”
“Shit, she’s coming” Lottie said, strangling Nat’s hand, “We should act cool”, she turned her head around to meet Natalie’s eyes, and finally took some time to really look at her.
“Wow you .. you look nice tonight, by the way” Lottie told her, and before Nat could say something back, the blonde’s voice ringed in their ears, a playful tune with an unmistakable hint of flirt, although it was unclear to whom it might have been directed to.
“Charlotte Matthews and Natalie Scatorccio” the blonde said, a small smirk on her lips, “The best scorers of all New Jersey”
“So we heard” Nat flirted back, without even really realizing. Laura was good at that, and Nat had fallen into the trap just as naturally, “But I think someone might be trying to surpass us”
“Really?” Laura Lee smiled, her eyes moving from Nat to Lottie, “I guess you need to fix that tomorrow, then”
“Don’t worry” Nat grinned, “We will”, she continued, redirecting her attention to Lottie, who was unsurprisingly silent.
“Tell her, Lot” Nat gave Lottie a playful smack on her upper arm, causing Lottie to jump a little on her seat.
“What?” the taller girl asked, coming back to her senses. Fuck, this was embarrassing. How long was she staring at Laura Lee’s cleavage not to gather a single word of what they were saying?
“Your girlfriend was telling me how you’re going to beat our asses tomorrow in the field” Laura Lee intervened, smiling at Lottie, and leaving the both of them with their mouths open at her assumption.
“We’re not..” Natalie tried to begin explaining that they weren’t together, or at least not like she might have imagined, but she was cut off by Lottie finally regaining awareness of her surroundings.
“She’s not my girlfriend” Lottie immediately said, and it slipped a little too fast from her lips for it to sound as casual and cool as she promised she was going to play, “We have been best friends since like, 7th grade”
“Okay” Laura Lee smiled, shifting her eyes between both of them, “That’s really cute”
“Do you um..” Nat started, looking at Laura Lee’s orange juice filled cup, “Do you want to drink something? Like, actual alcohol?”
“Oh my god, yes please” Laura Lee looked at Nat with a little brim in her eyes that made Nat wonder whether she could fall for this girl too if she kept being this ridiculously adorable.
Nat stood up from her chair and lightly scratched her head, looking at Lottie, “I have the stash in my room so um.. you could go to that nice spot near the park we went the other day, and I’ll catch up with you there?”
“Yeah, sure” Lottie nodded, slowly standing up and watching Nat walk towards their hotel room, leaving her alone with Laura Lee.
They started walking, and Lottie wondered if she was already weirding the girl out with her awkward silence. It usually took girls a little longer to be weirded out by her, most of the times it happened when one of her dissociative episodes occurred. She was being pathetic to a record-worthy degree that night, she thought.
“So, Charlotte” Laura Lee broke the awkward silence, and Lottie was incredibly thankful.
“You can call me Lottie, I..” Lottie lowered her eyes and lightly bit her lip, “I don’t really like Charlotte”
“Okay” Laura Lee replied, walking a little too close to Lottie causing their shoulders to brush a few times.
“Lottie, what are your plans for next year?” the blonde asked, her eyes not leaving Lottie’s face, resulting in a pathetic blush that she really wished the girl wouldn’t catch.
“Um probably Columbia, like virtually every Jersey soccer player” Lottie chuckled, bringing her hands to the pockets of her skirt, “Too predictable?”
“Well, it is a little predictable” Laura Lee smiled at her, as they reached the designated spot and sat down next to each other in the reclining beach chairs that someone had conveniently brought there as she continued,
“But I was actually thinking about Columbia too. It’s just that good, you know?”
“Yeah, totally” Lottie smiled, and she didn’t even realize that she had started nervously fidgeting with her ear lobe as she placed her elbow on the arm chair, a habit that she never managed to get rid of.
“Is Natalie going there too?” Laura Lee asked her with an interested expression.
“Oh, Nat doesn’t really plan on going to college, actually” Lottie replied, nervously smiling at the way Laura Lee brought up Nat instead of continuing to ask about her .
“Really?” the blonde furrowed her brow in amazement, “That’s a pity. She’s really good”
Lottie just nodded in response, trying to hide how visibly hurt she was at the attention shifting to Nat. Did she make that bad of an impression?
“Not better than you, though” Laura Lee smiled at her, bringing her hand forward to put a strand of hair back behind Lottie’s ear, and the girl could physically feel her cheeks burning. She held her head low for a few seconds, before raising it to feel blue eyes on hers and her hand taking way too long to back down, tracing the side of her cheek as she lowered it.
They kept looking at each other for what felt like an eternity before Nat’s voice ringed through their ears, as she joined them with a winning grin and a bottle of whiskey in her hands, “There you go ladies”
Natalie sat on the last remaining chair, offering Laura Lee the bottle, the girl finally looking away from Lottie’s blushing face.
They sat there for as long as they could remember, the bottle passing between their hands and their lips until they were all too tipsy to notice how late it was getting. The conversation flowed naturally, mainly between Natalie and Laura Lee, Lottie sporadically intervening on her own volition, or, more frequently, in response to the blonde directly asking her questions.
Laura Lee shifted her eyes beneath the two of them for the whole time, leaning closer to Natalie’s face when she asked her to light her cigarette, and gently grazing Lottie’s knuckles as she grabbed the whiskey bottle from her hands.
There was an undeniable tension dancing in the air between them, but none of them explicitly addressed it until Laura Lee stood up from her seat, fixing her dress that had significantly risen up over her knees and had both Lottie and Natalie looking a little too attentively at her legs.
“I think we should all get some rest” the blonde girl smiled, “Big game tomorrow”
Lottie and Nat exchanged a look, and nodded at each other knowingly.
“Wait” Lottie intervened, extending her arm so as to gesture to Laura Lee to stop. The blonde gave her a curious look.
“I.. um, have more whiskey in my room” Nat tentatively continued. They both knew what that meant, and they stared at Laura with their mouths slightly aghast waiting for an answer.
Laura Lee chuckled, running a hand through her hair, “Wow. Okay” she bit her lip, and had both of them lean closer from their chairs to better look at her, “Sure. Let's get this whiskey”
//
The next thing they knew was that Laura Lee was sitting in the middle of their beds, which happened to be conveniently already pushed together. The blonde couldn’t help but notice and tease them about it.
“So, how long have you been sleeping together?” the blonde curiously asked, her body leaning on her elbows resting behind her as she looked up at them. Nat and Lottie exchanged a look, and Laura Lee let out an amused chuckle.
“Isn’t this going to make things awkward between the two of you?” Laura Lee asked, causing a moment of silence between Nat and Lottie as they looked at each other and decided what to say next.
“It won’t” Lottie was the one to finally speak up, and Laura Lee couldn’t help but lick her lips at the determination that Lottie was putting into this. It was really cute, she thought.
“It’s just sex between us. No strings attached. Right?” Lottie added, looking at Nat for confirmation.
Nat hesitated for a second, before nodding, “Yeah”. She looked at the blonde girl laying in between them, her legs exposed and her tongue licking her own lips repeatedly. Fuck it. Maybe this was good, for all of them.
“We both want this” Nat finally said, and Laura Lee fixed her position a little, before giving them one last smirking smile.
“Good” she finished, “Then come here”
They both laid down, Lottie on her right, Nat on her left, and started tracing their lips down the respective sides of Laura’s neck, the girl softly panting as she put both of her hands behind their heads.
Lottie didn’t waste a second as Laura Lee grabbed her head, forcing her to stand up and face her. She threw her lips over hers, harshly taking her lower lip into hers, vigorously kissing her as she grabbed her waist with her other free hand.
Nat stared at them, jealousy and arousal mixing and messing with her head, until she finally decided to push Lottie away from the girl and kiss her instead, pushing her own body harshly against Laura’s, causing Lottie to fall back a bit.
Lottie ran a hand through her hair and stared at them blankly. Fuck, she never felt this turned on before.
It was Laura Lee that broke the kiss, and looked at both of them expectantly. Nat met Lottie’s gaze, and it took them very little time before Nat’s lips were on Lottie’s, her hand harshly pulling her closer from behind her neck and Lottie grabbing Nat by the waist.
Laura Lee looked from beneath them, a light grin on her lips, attentively watching how their lips sucked and licked all over each other’s before they both realized how long this must have been going on.
“I’ll leave you two to it” Laura Lee ultimately said with a reassuring smile, sitting up as Lottie and Nat had fallen back after breaking the kiss.
“What, why?” Lottie looked at her in utter confusion and worry, and Nat’s expression showcased a very similar concern.
“I think you can handle this without me” she simply said as she stood up from the bed, and Nat didn’t even have the time to think before she was grabbing the girl’s wrist, pleading her to stop.
“But we want you to stay” she said, her eyes traveling from Laura’s figure to Lottie’s face, who was strongly nodding in response.
“Look, I like you both, okay?” Laura Lee sighed, freeing herself from Nat’s grasp, “But there’s clearly something between you two, and it’s just.. too awkward for me to do it with both of you, sorry”
Nat and Lottie looked at each other with a hanging silence.
“Then choose one of us” Lottie said, with a newfound initiative that she didn’t know she had in her.
“You want me to choose one of you?” Laura Lee was equally surprised at the request.
Nat looked at them for a minute, before gulping down a knot in her throat and intervening, “Yeah. So it’s not going to be awkward that way”
“And how am I supposed to do that?” the blonde crossed her arms around her chest, furrowing her brow in an intrigued expression. She was very keen to see how this was going to go.
Nat and Lottie looked at each other for a few seconds, contemplating what to say next, then Lottie’s eye sparked to her sudden realization, “Whoever wins the game. Tomorrow”
“I don’t know if you guys noticed but, you kind of play in the same team” Laura Lee chuckled, her eyes wandering between them in amusement.
“No, it’s kind of a game we have between us” Nat intervened, nervously scratching her inner wrist, “We bet on who scores the most every time we play a game”
“Okay” Laura Lee said after contemplating the implications for a moment, “That’s settled then”
“Whoever scores the most goals tomorrow is taking me to dinner after the game”
Nat and Lottie looked at her, then at each other, and then back at her. This was going to be a fun game.
//
Nat scored three goals. Lottie only managed to score once. She didn’t know what got into her, it was probably a mix of Laura Lee’s floral scent fiddling with her senses as she towered over her to try and get the ball from her, the determination with which Nat chased after her adversaries, the violence she put in kicking the ball into the net, and the sudden realization of how much she was going to lose to both of them later than night.
They won, thanks to Nat’s astounding work, and Lottie stared at how her teammates were lifting Nat into the air, shouting and cheering.
“I might have underestimated her” she heard Laura Lee’s voice coming closer, and it took her a lot of pride to turn around and face her after the shitty show she put up.
“Yeah” Lottie simply said, kicking at the grass with her foot, “She’s amazing”
“Mh” Laura Lee stepped a little closer, “That’s a pity”
“A bet is a bet” she continued, her tone now lower, and stepping on her tiptoes a little so only Lottie could hear.
“But I was really hoping it would be you”
Lottie couldn’t physically bring herself to look at her, and she just stood there, motionless, until Laura Lee just softly caressed her arm goodbye and walked towards Nat.
She watched them from afar, Laura Lee smiling and Nat with the biggest grimace on her lips. As soon as Nat met Lottie’s eyes, the brunette turned around and walked away, a hint of tears forming in her eyes. It was so lame. She didn’t even know who she was crying for.
//
Don't get her wrong, Nat was crazy happy at the thought that they were really going to nationals. She had dreamed about it for as long as she can remember.
But her happiness for soccer was mildly toned down by the fact that a few weeks ago she had promised herself going to nationals would result in her confessing to Lottie.
Except that right now, instead of Lottie falling into her arms, she was pinned down by Laura Lee, her gentle but eager hands grabbing her boobs from over her bra as she was running her tongue down her neck.
This wasn't exactly what she planned, but she would never step down from a challenge, and took great pride in winning a bet against Lottie. She agreed to the whole thing willingly in the end, maybe to prevent Lottie from sleeping with this girl she was so infatuated with. Or maybe because she was a little infatuated with this girl too, she wasn't sure, the blonde was definitely making it hard not to like her as her hands ran so smoothly over Nat’s body, and her lips felt so good on the crook of her neck.
Laura Lee put her bra back on, before laying down next to Natalie who had just finished doing the same. She positioned herself on her side, elbow resting on the bedsheets and her head resting on her hand, attentively looking at the other girl to catch the earliest sign of her slipping.
Natalie was staring at the ceiling, her hands clasped together on her bare stomach. Laura Lee had seen a lot of paintings of Saints excruciating from their sins in her life, and the look on Nat’s face could have put her in a close match with Judas under the cross.
“Wow. I didn’t think I was that bad” she tried to joke, biting her cheek and waiting for Natalie to give her somewhat of a reaction.
It took a few seconds for Nat to process that she was talking to her, but when she did she immediately sat up on the bed, shaking her head.
“What no you’re..” Nat brought her hand closer to the girl’s face and run her fingers through her soft blonde locks, “You’re amazing, really, best sex I’ve had in months”
“Mmh” Laura Lee mumbled, raising her head a little to meet Nat’s eyes. She did look honest, but she knew that there was something wrong, and she might have had an idea of what, or rather who, it was.
“You really like her, don’t you?” she asked, trying to put on a genuinely reassuring smile, “It’s okay. I like her too”
Nat looked at her for a few seconds without saying anything. What did this girl even know about Lottie? How could she like her if she met her twenty four hours ago? She didn’t know Lottie like Natalie did, and she would never liked Lottie as much as she did.
Laura Lee was giving Nat this annoying grin, waiting for a reaction, and Nat tangled her fingers between blonde hair and leaned in to kiss the grin off her lips. This whole thing was a game for her too. And Natalie hated to lose.
//
When Natalie came back to their room later that night, Lottie was sitting on the edge of the bed, nervously fiddling with her fingers.
“Finally” Lottie said as she saw Nat stepping back in, “I really need to talk to you”
Nat looked at her with a furrowed brow. Was she going to say what she thought she would? Did her hooking up with Laura Lee made her realize how wrong this whole thing was, and how right they were for each other?
She was kind of hoping she would, and she thought that was exactly what was going to happen as Lottie took her hands and made her sit next to her by the edge of their makeshift double mattress.
“I.. I need to know if you really like her, or if you only did because you never step out of a game” Lottie asked, her big brown doe eyes, a little teary, looking right into Nat’s. The sight always made her melt.
“I..” Nat began to answer, and her mind went over all the ways she could tell her.
But it wasn’t necessary.
“Because I think I really like her, Nat” Lottie said in a whim, and Nat felt her heart breaking in her chest. Of fucking course. Lottie liked Laura Lee, and Laura Lee liked Lottie.
“I know I just met her but.. fuck, I don’t know, do you believe in love at first sight or something like that?” Lottie was attempting a smile, even if she was on the brink of crying.
“Lot, I..” Nat tried to interrupt her several times, but she was well aware that when Lottie was nervous she would just never shut her mouth.
“I’m just so attracted to her and I don’t know, I need to know where you stand” she said, her hands still clasping at Nat’s over her lap, “I will just step down if you like her. You.. I want nothing more than seeing you happy, Nat”
At that point felt tears forming in her eyes too, not only at the weight of Lottie’s words, at the implications they had and at her watered eyes. She was mainly crying at the realization that she was about to do was super fucked up, and selfish, and neither Lottie nor poor Laura Lee deserved it.
But as much as sex with Lottie was something that she despised letting go of, she wouldn’t let anything or anyone steal her best friend, whatever it took.
“I do” she finally said, her eyes not daring to meet Lottie’s, her fingers just tracing small circles on the girl’s hands instead, “I think I really like her”
//
They all ended up going to the same college. Nat found it funny how fast it took Lottie and Laura Lee to convince her, when she had been so set on finding a side job and training professionally outside of school for so long.
The three of them became close pretty soon. It was indeed awkward in the beginning, when Nat and Laura Lee sort of officialized their relationship, but Lottie was too much of a good person to let it ruin their friendship. Lottie was still Nat’s best friend, and they still spend virtually every second together, the three of them, except the times when her and Laura would hype Lottie to go on a date with whatever girl took turn in drooling over her for the week, and have their fair share of intimate alone time too.
It was balanced, Natalie liked to think.
Lottie absolutely hated it.
The more time she spent around them, the more she started to dread it. Natalie was still better than her in the field, always one step further than her despite her legs being half of Lottie’s. Natalie had been offered a spot in the Washington Spirits while she was still in her second year in college, and she was dating the only girl Lottie had ever really fallen in love with.
Laura Lee being an absolute angel to her didn’t help. She would tutor her when she fell behind in classes, and scrimmage with her in the field when Natalie was away to begin practicing with the Spirits in advance. She let Lottie cry on her shoulder after she had a bad fight with Nat. She kissed her on her forehead, and held her in her arms, and it made Lottie cry even more because she was so fucking in love with her it physically hurt.
It was always meant to fall apart. Laura Lee knew all along, but she got her official confirmation when Natalie started being more and more absent to train with the Spirits, her whole future already written for her, one that didn’t include her and Lottie in the mix.
She had slowly learned to like Nat, they were more similar than she thought, and they made each other laugh, and they always had a hell of a good time in bed.
But the more time she spent alone with Lottie, the less she was able to lie to herself.
Natalie had started it as a game. She didn’t want her to be with Lottie, so she tried to steal her from Lottie instead. Despite her best attempts to hide it however, Laura Lee knew that Nat was in love with Lottie, and that she was falling for Lottie herself.
The girl just made it impossible not to, big chestnut teary eyes staring at hers as she snuggled herself closer, the position slightly uncomfortable due to Lottie being just too tall to be the one being cuddled.
“She just seems like a totally different person, you know?” Lottie would say, as Laura Lee would softly play with the other girl’s fingers, their hands lingering in the little space between them.
“I know exactly what you mean” she would sigh, and try to reassure her, “You just need to give her some time to adjust with this new thing she has going on”
She would tell her things like that, even after this whole situation had been going on for more than three months, and neither of them had a chance to be alone with Natalie for the past two weeks.
Maybe that was the last straw, Lottie thought as she physically couldn’t stop herself from inching closer to Laura’s face, placing her hand on her cheek and softly stroking it.
“Lot” the blonde sighed, putting her own hand on hers so to remove it, “You know we shouldn’t do this”
“It’s not like she’s ever around to care” Lottie simply said before putting her lips on hers. Laura Lee kissed her back without even thinking about it twice, wrapping her hands around Lottie’s neck and letting her take the lead. She didn’t care what Natalie thought back then, and she knew that if Nat was in her position, she wouldn’t back down from kissing Lottie too. It was fucked up, sure, but they both wanted this too badly to care.
//
It went on for a couple of months with rather uneventful twists. When Nat was out of the dorm, Laura Lee would spend every second in Lottie’s room, mostly making out on her bed and picturing their future soccer careers together. Sometimes it scared them how easy it was to forget Nat was even in the picture, but none of them ever dared to say it out loud. It was always implicit, her presence becoming less and less tangible as the weeks flew by.
And when Nat came back, about two or three days a time every couple of weeks, they would just hang out all together, the three of them, drinking in a bar around campus as Nat would tell them about Washington, and Lottie and Laura Lee would update her on the latest anecdotes or funny moments that went down during practice.
Nat wasn’t stupid, really. She had a hunch something was going on, but there were just too many things in her head back then to let herself fall deeper in to the hole by questioning them on why Laura Lee had a newfound passion for wearing foulards around her neck in fucking Spring, or how Nat had never seen Lottie looking that genuinely happy before. It hurt her more to see Lottie like that than the thought of Laura cheating on her either way.
//
The downfall happened around June, when the semester was wrapping up and Coach Scott thought it was a good idea for Nat to bring her apprentice peers from the Spirits to have a friendly game with the Columbia Women’s College Team. He actually had no idea how bad of an idea that was.
The thing was that Lottie and Nat had never played on opposite teams. Sure, they tackled each other all the time during practice in high school, and every single thing they did in their lives was basically a symbolic part of a never ending challenge that put them one against the other, but this was different.
Nat was her adversary. She was wearing a different shirt, and she was laughing and joking with some girls that Lottie had never seen before in her life. And she had kissed Laura Lee in the lips in the middle of the field before Coach whistled loud enough for her to smirk and fall back into formation.
She kissed her like she hadn’t avoided her, no, both of them, for the past months, leaving them alone, treating Laura Lee like shit and abandoning them to the comfort of one another. It pissed Lottie off in a way that she didn’t even know she was capable of feeling.
So when the game began, Lottie had her mind set on marking Nat as violently as she did all those years ago in 7th grade, to shove her to the ground and maybe make her come back to her fucking senses.
Nat noticed the determination in Lottie’s eyes right off the bat. She was the only one to know that look, that hidden strength, that violence. She didn’t know how desperately she wanted to see it back on her face until her feet were kicking Lottie’s in an attempt to get the ball from her.
Lottie always had the best footwork, and she managed to escape her grip and score an incredible goal. It made Nat brim with excitement, to the point that she didn’t even care about the game, nor her teammates desperately asking her to pass them the ball, or the way Laura Lee smiled at Lottie when she gave her the ball with a corner kick.
Nat ran straight to Lottie, pushing her body to the limit to match the speed brought by the girls’ long legs, and managed to slide down right at her and get the ball.
She felt her heart drop a few seconds after, when a loud crack resounded from behind her and Lottie screamed to the top of her lungs in agony.
Nat turned around slowly, her hands shaking and her chest pounding, looking in horror at the image of Lottie down to the ground, her head now in Laura Lee’s lap as the girl held her tight and caressed her head, Coach Scott and the other teammates sprinting towards her.
Nat felt the bile rise up from her stomach, and Lottie’s whole bone being out of her knee wasn’t even the main reason. She knew she lost her that very second, when Laura Lee’s lips were kissing her forehead as Lottie was squeezing as tight as she could the blonde’s hand, crying out her name in pain.
//
She showed up at Lottie’s hospital room only later in the evening, and she waited in the hallway for a long time until some of their teammates and their Coach hadn’t left.
Laura Lee never left the room, of course, and she was the first thing that Nat saw as she entered, the girl sitting in the chair on Lottie’s side, one hand holding hers and the other softly stroking her hair.
Lottie was drifting on and off sleep, the morphine kicking in, and Nat wondered if Laura Lee was able to correctly tell the doctors how to mix doses so not to mess it up with her medication. She didn’t even know if Lottie told her in the first place. She had only told Nat before.
“You really shouldn’t be here right now Natalie” Laura Lee said, her hands not moving an inch as she reserved Nat a spiteful look.
“She’s my best friend” Nat stepped closer, now too irritated by the blonde’s arrogance.
“You just ruined her fucking life, you know that?” Laura Lee stood up, her hands dropping Lottie’s to walk closer to Nat and face her directly.
“They don’t know if she’ll ever be able to run anymore” the blonde inched closer to Nat, a disgusted expression on her lips, “She can’t play soccer, Natalie. You know what this means for her?”
“You think I fucking hurt her on purpose?” Nat raised her voice, but the blonde didn’t even flinch. This fight was long overdue anyways.
“I don’t know. Maybe you did” Laura Lee gave her a spiteful laugh before Nat raised her hand to violently grab the girl’s wrist, causing her to stand still and face her under her grasp.
“You don’t know anything about me and Lottie” Nat couldn’t see straight anymore, and the other girl wasn’t helping.
“Yeah? And what would you know when you showed your face five times in the last two fucking months, Natalie?”
“Did you know Orlando scouted her? That NWSL Orlando Pride scouted her for next year?”
“I.. Orlando? That’s..” Natalie didn’t know what to say, she clenched her fist in her free hand and looked at Lottie lying motionlessly in the bed.
“Lottie and I have been sleeping together for three fucking months Natalie. Did you know that? So much for your little plan to keep me away from her” Laura Lee spat those words with a hate that Nat had no idea the girl had in her, and it made her boil with anger.
Luckily, Lottie woke up before these two could start beating each other up.
“Why is she here?” Lottie said as she opened her eyes and studied the scene in front of her, looking at Laura Lee with a worried expression.
Laura Lee freed herself from Nat’s grasp and headed back to Lottie’s side, taking her hand into hers, “Don’t worry baby, Natalie was just about to leave”
“I’m not going anywhere” Nat stepped closer and extended her hand towards Lottie, barely touching her intact leg before Lottie violently shoved her off, causing her to hiss in pain at the sudden movement.
“I don’t ever want to see your fucking face again” Lottie said, and Nat wanted to die over the look in Lottie’s eyes. She was so angry, and broken, and Natalie wished she could hug her. She thought she hadn’t hugged in three months by then.
“Please Natalie just go” Laura Lee intervened, now standing between them.
“This has nothing to do with you” Nat was about to come at her throat again, but Lottie screamed at her, “Don’t you dare touching her”
Lottie never screamed at her before, and the pain and hatred in her voice was the last thing Natalie remembered before Laura Lee pushed her outside of the room and slammed the door on her face.
That was the last time she saw Lottie in the past five years.
//
Lottie nervously picked at her nails with her teeth as she stared at the TV screen, her other hand noting down numbers and names in her notebook as she sat on their couch, one leg crossed and the other lying on a cushion that Laura Lee always left on their coffee table for Lottie to be comfortable with her knee.
She was so overly focused on the screen that she didn’t even notice her girlfriend appearing from behind the couch, softly placing a kiss on her head as she offered her a plate of scrambled tofu with a cute heart shaped avocado toast.
“Morning babe” Laura Lee smiled, moving to sit close to her on the couch and watching over her shoulder to check her notebook.
“Wow, the Thorns are amazing this season” she said, before taking a bite of her own toast.
“Mmh, they really are” Lottie hummed, finally noticing the meal she made her, and offering her a smile, “Thank you honey, this looks so good”
“Well then maybe you should stop rewatching these games all over again and have breakfast with your girlfriend” Laura Lee teased her, bringing a hand on the side of Lottie’s cheek and softly caressing her before plating a kiss on her lips.
“I’m sorry” Lottie said apologetically, biting her sandwich, “It also tastes really good”
Laura Lee giggled and took the notebook from Lottie’s hands, absent-mindedly browsing through it until something caught her attention enough to put down her plate and look at Lottie dead in the eye.
“They’re leading again” she simply said, a hint of concern in her eyes as she looked at her.
“Yeah” Lottie sighed, closing the notebook from Laura’s hands and putting it away behind her on the couch, “But you don’t have anything to worry about. Even if you end up in the finals with them, they don’t have a chance against you and the girls”
Laura Lee smiled, a wary look in her eyes as she nervously bit her lip, “Yeah?”
“I mean it Lau” Lottie forced her to look at her by grabbing her face with both her hands, “They don’t stand a chance against you”
Laura Lee smiled, putting her hand on Lottie’s and inching closer, resting her forehead against Lottie’s, “Okay”
“I want to make you proud of me” the blonde said, blue eyes staring into Lottie’s, a promise that only they truly knew how much it meant.
“You know I’m always proud of you” Lottie smiled, before planting a kiss on her forehead.
She meant it, she always did, since the day Laura Lee physically dragged Lottie on the field and asked her to teach her, and when she held her hand under the desk as she changed her status from player to learning coach.
Lottie was sure that she would have left soccer for good if Laura Lee wasn’t there for her, to show her that she could still use her talent, and offered to become her legs for when she couldn’t walk. It was incredibly sweet, really, and she felt like a proud teacher everytime Laura would score on a game.
She loved her, she did for years, and she was genuinely happy with the position they were in back then.
But happiness never lasted long when Natalie was involved.
//
It only happened once, five years after the incident. Nat had stepped down from the scene for a couple of years, she had dropped college and worked odd jobs before the Spirits basically begged to go and play professionally with them. She accepted, of course, because despite Lottie Matthews, Natalie still loved soccer with her whole heart.
She always knew they were destined to run into each other sooner or later, Lottie was now the trainer assistant for Orlando Pride, where Laura Lee had been scouted straight out of Columbia. And she kept an eye on their social media accounts too obsessively not to always be extra aware of where they were and what they were doing.
It was probably two or three a.m. on the night after a game when Nat saw Lottie in a hotel lobby in Washington, staring at the empty glass of bourbon on her table all by herself.
Nat stared at her from behind the glass of the hotel’s window door for a little too long for Lottie not to notice. The brunette turned her head to the side and met Nat’s eyes. They stayed like that for an eternity before Nat muttered the courage to enter the lobby, constantly checking from afar to make sure Lottie wasn’t already running away.
“Your girlfriend’s busy?” Nat asked, hesitating a little bit before sitting down in front of her.
“We um, had a pretty bad fight” Lottie replied instinctively, gesturing to the waitress to bring her one more glass, and Nat quickly instructed her to make it two.
“You two fight ?” Nat asked in genuine amazement, she thought she had never seen anyone get on as well as those two in her whole life.
“Yeah, every couple fights, Natalie” Lottie scoffed and gave the waitress a smile as she brought them their drinks,
“I acted like a fucking selfish bitch, again, and she left to spend the weekend at Mari’s to cool down and not kill me with her bare hands”
“Mari as in the Columbia bitch that has been trying to get in Laura Lee’s pants since the first week of college?” Nat laughed, letting the bitter taste of the alcohol warm her throat.
“Yeah, she’s like her best friend now” Lottie harshly grabbed her glass and poured down the bourbon at a worrying speed,
“That’s part of why I’m drinking half-assed bourbon at a three star hotel in the middle of the night talking to the person who ruined my life”
“You and I both know that isn’t true” Nat shifted her eyes from the now empty glass to Lottie, and took some time to look at her face. She looked a little older, of course, it had been five years, but she was just as breathtakingly gorgeous as Nat remembered.
“Well, I don’t honestly even care if it is anymore” Lottie was already ordering another round as she looked at Natalie with a spite that brought the girl back to that hospital room,
“I prefer blaming you rather than pitying myself”
“Wow” Nat just chuckled in response, not sure she wanted to process this information without it breaking her apart, “You two sure bring the best out of each other”
“And what would you know about that?” Lottie looked up at her and their eyes locked for the longest time. Natalie was a little taller, and her hair was back to brown, a few blonde highlights scattered around her head. Lottie was mildly irritated at the idea that Nat might have just done it to piss her off. She knew Lottie always preferred blondes.
“Just tell me about the Spirits” the taller girl changed the topic, easing the tension in the air until it almost disappeared and the conversation flowed for what felt like hours, from Natalie’s current team to her annoying hag of a coach, and Lottie’s experience in coaching Orlando, her side gig in assisting a high school team and the horrors of dealing with teenagers, the occasional mention of memories from their own time in high school, when things were easier and every problem could be solved kicking a ball and kissing each other’s necks against the locker.
When the clock struck four, indicating it was way too late to be drinking in a hotel lobby, Lottie stood up from her chair.
“This was nice.. you know, catching up” Lottie told Nat, hardly even looking at her, because they were in a fucking hotel and this could have ended very badly.
“Lottie” Nat said, her hand tentatively reaching for the taller girl’s wrist, but Lottie pulled back, shaking her head.
“Please Nat, just go home” Lottie looked at her with a plea in her eyes that almost convinced Nat to do so.
“We both know you don’t want me to” Nat stepped closer, a firm determination in her tone that Lottie hadn’t heard in years.
“Please” Lottie’s eyes looked like she was about to burst in tears, and if Natalie was even a little bit of a better person she would have turned around and left.
If only she was a little less selfish, she would be laying on her own bed in her apartment, staring at the ceiling and proudly thinking that she valued Lottie’s happiness more than her own.
But she never did, not when she kicked those balls into the net at the regionals final, not when she first came as Laura Lee pumped her fingers into her at the sole thought of how jealous Lottie must have felt at the idea of them together, and definitely not as she was violently pinning down Lottie on her hotel bed, sinking her teeth into her neck and hoping it would leave a mark that would be enough for her girlfriend to question her the day after.
Natalie was selfish, and Lottie dreaded herself too much to stop this from happening.
//
Lottie had spent the past five years repenting herself in her mind for it, and Laura Lee had never even known Natalie was in town that night.
It was just a mistake, Lottie liked to tell herself, a stupid mistake she made once and it would have never happened again.
Ten years after her accident on the Columbia field, Lottie was massaging Laura Lee’s legs with reinvigorating lotion the night before the first match of the NWSL.
“How are you feeling?” Lottie asked, planting occasional kisses on the girl’s thigh as she gently ran her hand through her legs.
“Is it normal that I’m more worried about not being able to hold back from beating my ex up when I see her than I am of losing fucking NWSL?” Laura Lee asked, a chuckle escaping from her lips, unaware of the guilt that resurfaced back in Lottie’s stomach.
“Don’t even bother thinking about her, babe” Lottie smiled, finishing to spread the lotion of her legs and gesturing to her girlfriend to place her head on Lottie’s lap.
“Just think about the look on her face when we’re going to beat them in the final” the brunette smiled, running a hand through Laura Lee’s hair, still as shiny as they were when she met her twelve years ago.
“Mmh” Laura hummed, relaxing into the touch, “That thought just turned me on”
“Really? Thinking about Natalie turned you on? Not having your face literally over my vagina?” Lottie joked, playfully moving her girlfriend’s face closer to her private parts.
“Oh my God, you really are the worst” Laura Lee laughed, planting a kiss over Lottie’s pants before moving to remove them.
As Lottie laid naked in her girlfriend’s arm that night, the idea of Natalie falling to her knees at the sight of Laura Lee beating her at the final match sent shivers down her spine. Maybe that was going to give her the closure she always needed, she decided as she held the blonde closer to her chest. Maybe that could have finally meant letting Natalie go for good.
//
Lottie was walking back to her car after dropping Laura Lee back home. It was the night before the final match, and to no one’s surprise, Orlando was going against the Washington Spirits. Meaning, Laura Lee was going against Natalie.
She was about to lose her mind, watching her girlfriend nervously run lapses around the hotel’s hallway, stretching her legs against the wall in the middle of the night.
So she told her she would have gone to get some whiskey from the 24/7 market, because this wasn’t good for either of them and they needed to sleep and calm themselves down.
This was a once in a lifetime kind of thing, Laura Lee would have probably stepped down from soccer in a couple of years, and maybe Lottie would have kept coaching for a few years more, before they would have settled down for good, with enough money on the bag to retire early and go live off together in Hawaii or something like that.
Laura Lee always said Hawaii, Lottie always said the Maldives. They almost had a real fight over that stupid thing once.
Anyways, she needed to clear her head, and they decided some whiskey might have helped, so Lottie drove to the supermarket and bought a bottle.
She was about to open her car when she saw a way too familiar face looking at her from a rolled down window of a beat up green Range Rover.
“Are you following me?” Lottie looked at her in disbelief, opening her car door and getting ready to step inside and drive as far as possible from her.
“No, I was just about to go and buy some stash” Nat said, getting off her car and reaching Lottie as quickly as she could as she noticed her inserting the keys, “Lot, wait, please”
Natalie opened the passenger seat door of Lottie’s Tesla and hopped in, resulting in Lottie almost throwing her newly acquired whiskey bottle to the ground,
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Get off my car Natalie, I’m serious”
“Jesus Christ, I just want to talk to you, okay? Relax” Nat scoffed, taking the bottle from Lottie’s hands before opening and taking a long sip.
“That’s for Lau, not for you” Lottie harshly grabbed the bottle back, taking a gulp down herself.
“I’m sure it is” Nat smirked, placing her head comfortably on the headrest of her seat,
“Look. I have a deal for you”
“I told you to get off my car Natalie” Lottie was angry, rightfully so, and she wanted nothing more than Natalie going away. She was angry at Natalie, but especially angry at herself for how much she let herself even listen to her.
“My coach is retiring next season” Nat said in a whim,
“There’s a vacancy and they’re looking for, you know, a great fucking coach for the team that is taking the NWSL crown”
“You’re suggesting I should coach you ?” Lottie couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this sounded, raising her voice, “You’re unbelievable Natalie. Get out of my car”
“You know I don’t like it when you yell at me” Nat was moving closer, and Lottie was about to throw up.
“Your girlfriend is retiring in what, one year? Two, max? And what are you going to do, give up on soccer forever because she gave up?” Natalie looked at her with a daring, challenging look that Lottie hadn’t seen in years, and that brought back way too many feelings,
“I know I can continue for another four, maybe five years. And I know you are too greedy to give up now”
“You are so fucking selfish Natalie” Lottie felt tears forming in her eyes, and she pushed the girl back to create more space between them, “You never cared about anyone but yourself”
“Maybe that’s true” Nat said, her eyes fixed on Lottie’s pink lips, “But don’t act like you’re any better”
“Let's make a bet. For old time’s sake” Nat added, Lottie still holding her head down to try not to look at her.
Lottie stayed silent.
“Tomorrow” Nat gulped down the courage to say it out loud, and she never felt so sure of something in her whole life, “If your little princess team wins, you’ll never see my face again. I’ll retire after this season and leave you alone”
Lottie finally raised her head, and she regretted doing so as soon as she saw the spark of determination in Nat’s eyes.
“But if I win, you come to Washington, take the vacant spot, and you and me bring this team to nationals back again” Nat felt teary-eyed too, and she couldn’t control her body when she placed her hand on Lottie’s cheek,
“Just like we always dreamed when we were kids”
“Natalie. Please, please leave me alone” Lottie was just straight up crying by then, and Nat wiped away some of her tears with her thumb.
“I swear to God Lottie. If she wins tomorrow, I will” Nat gave her a genuine, kind smile that Lottie hadn’t seen in ages. It took her way more strength than she liked to admit when she pushed away Nat from her as she leaned in to kiss her, hesitation filling her body for a second too long as Nat’s lips barely grazed hers.
Nat opened the passenger’s seat door and Lottie felt like she could finally breathe again. She was proven wrong pretty soon.
“You know I’ve always loved you Lot, right?” Nat smiled, and Lottie lightly nodded as the tears kept falling down.
Natalie waited for a good minute, and she just gave her a small smile when she realized she wasn’t getting any answer.
“Good night, Lottie. I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend on the field tomorrow” Nat said before closing the car door and walking away.
//
Lottie spent a good ten minutes in her car trying to tone down her panic attack, before driving back to their hotel and trying to wipe away all the tears and stained mascara as she rode the elevator up. She had been away for almost two hours, and her girlfriend was too smart not to catch the hint.
God, she even forgot the fucking whiskey in the car.
She found her sitting on the edge of their bed, staring down and barely holding back tears. It took her some time to mutter the courage to raise her head and meet Lottie’s eyes.
“You were with her, weren’t you?” Laura Lee asked, an equally hurt and disappointed chuckle escaping her lips.
“Lau, please” Lottie walked closer, but the other girl abruptly stood up and moved as further away as their room size allowed.
“No, you don’t get to do this” the blonde shook her head, bringing a head to her hair in despair, “You’re not throwing ten years away for this fucking stupid high school crush you had on her, okay?”
“Jesus Lau, calm down” Lottie put her hands forward, trying to get some sense into her when she was barely keeping it together herself,
“I did see her, okay? I mean, she basically fucking stalked me all the way to the store and entered my car without my permission, so it wasn’t exactly my choice”
“But nothing happened baby” Lottie had reached a decent enough distance to place her hand on Laura’s arm, trying to gently bring her closer, “I swear”
“I don’t know if I believe you” the girl said, barely holding back tears, but unable to move away from Lottie’s touch.
“Hey” Lottie held both of her hands in hers, “Please”
Laura Lee looked into Lottie’s eyes to search for an answer she wasn’t sure she wanted in the first place.
“Then what did she want?” she asked her with brimming eyes.
“She wanted to make a stupid bet, okay? Like back then” Lottie told her. There was no use in hiding this, and she wanted to give her girlfriend a motivation big enough to win. For the sake of their relationship and for the good of both of them.
“Her coach is leaving, and she said that if she wins tomorrow I should step in and go to her team”
“But you..” Laura Lee held Lottie’s hands tighter, moving closer to her, “You would never do that, right?”
“Of course not. You don’t even have to worry about it babe” Lottie moved her hands to place them on Laura’s cheeks, smiling at her, finally convinced about something for the first time on that dreading night,
“Because you will win. For me, for us. Right?”
Laura Lee looked at her for a long moment before nodding. She let Lottie kiss her, and she complied when she told her to lay down and get some rest. Even if it was five in the morning, and her alarm was set in two hours.
But Lottie was hugging her from behind, and her hands were shaking as she placed them over Laura’s chest for her to hold. She held them as tight as she could, even if this thought in the back of her mind was eating her alive.
Lottie would do it. She liked to think she wouldn’t, but if Natalie won, she would have left in a heartbeat for her. She knew she was right, and it scared her to death.
So she had to win. She had to win no matter what.
//
Lottie was digging her nails so hard into the steel of the bench that at one point they started bleeding.
She didn’t have time to care though, because Natalie had just scored her first goal, and her heart was literally beating out of her chest.
She met Laura Lee’s gaze, the girl looked like she was about to cry, and Lottie felt her whole body ceding at the sight. She didn’t deserve the bullshit they put her through, but she always endured, just like she was doing right now, rolling up her sleeves and running behind her teammates, begging them to give her the ball.
When the blonde scored her first goal, Lottie jumped up from her seat, a loud Yes startling the poor other girls sitting on the bench.
Her eyes traveled through the field, Natalie was as determined as she ever looked, sweat falling down her forehead as she did everything in her power not to let anyone take the ball from her.
Instead of the girl who broke her knee, messed with her head for ten years and ruined her life, Lottie saw the little girl from that first day in 7th grade, who wanted nothing more than to score a goal and make everyone clap her hands at her for how good she was. Her best friend, her rival, the whole reason she started playing soccer and turned it into her whole life. She felt a tear falling down her face at the thought.
On the other side of the field stood the girl she had fallen in love with twelve years ago, her blonde locks still falling on her forehead over her pretty blue eyes even all those years later.
When she saw her on that field that day, she knew she would have never been able to take her eyes away from her for the rest of her life. And she never did, not for a second, not when Natalie stole her from under her nose, when she pretended to like her for two years to push her away from Lottie, not when she told her she was going to retire soon because she physically couldn’t play like this much longer, with her eyes flooding with tears from the fear of letting Lottie down. She never stopped looking at her, and she never stopped loving her.
She loved both of them, in two very different ways, but with an equal passion.
Or at least, that’s what she thought before she found herself falling to her knees, tears of joy falling to the ground as the final whistle declared the definitive result.
She knew with her whole body that this was right, that this is what all she wanted for all this time. She never felt so relieved in her entire life.
//
Six months later
Lottie was absent-mindlessly scrolling through her book as she laid on her beach chair, her sunglasses kept falling on her face from how much she changed her position to be more comfortable.
The waves crashed down the shore, seagulls chanted over her head, and echoes of tourist laughing and talking out loud hovered all around her. It was too noisy to read, but Lottie didn’t mind. It brought her an inner peace that she had longed for pretty much the past ten years of her life.
She felt a pair of hands cover her eyes, ultimately making her sunglasses fall for good, and she didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was and what she was bringing.
“Please don’t tell me you have another pineapple piss juice in your hands” Lottie said laughing, bringing down one of the girl’s hands to leave a kiss on her palm.
“We moved to Hawaii Lottie, you need to accept that Piñacoladas are your new coffee” the blonde girl smiled, revealing herself from behind the chair and gesturing to Lottie to scooch over to make her lie next to her, offering her the drink.
Lottie scoffed, but still took a sip, looking at her girlfriend questioningly as she was holding a newspaper in her hands.
“What’s that?” Lottie asked, passing the drink back to Laura Lee and bringing her arm to place it behind the girl’s neck and hold her closer.
“I usually don’t take pleasure in other people’s downfall, but this might be a tiny bit of an exception” Laura smiled as she handed the newspaper to her girlfriend, and placed her head on her shoulder, scooching closer to her.
Lottie didn’t need to examine the front page for long, Nat’s scoffing face was basically printed full size on it, and it made Lottie smile how the girl truly just never changed.
She read the small description under the photo. Natalie Scatorcio, ace of the Washington Spirits for the past ten years, announces her retirement from soccer. “I’m too old for this now” the interview said, and Lottie laughed thinking about how they probably had to cut the word shit from the sentence to make it public friendly.
“But as bitter as this is, it really was good while it lasted. With me gone, I just want to wish everyone a good game. Freaking losers”
Lottie placed down the newspaper and allowed Laura Lee to wipe away a tear that had fallen on her cheek. Lottie looked at her blue eyes for a long moment before putting on a genuine smile.
“Are you okay?” Laura Lee asked, stroking Lottie’s cheek with her thumb, a concerned look in her eyes.
Lottie couldn’t help but smile even wider at the sight.
“I’ve never been better”