Work Text:
M
hey kizzy can i borrow ur bf
date forgot to pay rent and the landlord changed our locks. again.
I
u guys can come stay with me!! ik ur here most of the time but mom would love to see uncle again
M
not the apartment the store
i’m in charge of apartment rent dw
used to be part of daddy’s child support. don’t think date realized that was gone too when he died lmao
I
ur locked out of the store? doesn’t boss always have keys
M
yeah but she changed the locks. re date not paying rent
O
Wait he pays rent to work at Abis Floral?
M
costs a lot to keep him around
he’s an annoying liability. ykyk
just ask iris’s mom
I
mom def would not say that abt him
M
why not he ghosted her. is still ghosting her
O
Parent teacher conferences?
M
like date would go to those? he doesn’t even remember when his own meetings are
O
I guess I saw Ms. Hitomi leaving someone else’s apartment after your school’s last open house event then
It was in your building on your floor?
M
WHAT
wait why were you at my apartment
O
I was looking for Tesa, since you guys were hanging out and weren’t at her house!
M
how did you know that,,,,
O
Obviously because I checked?
M
ur insane. iris should have you put down
anyway kizzy @K abt ur bf
can i borrow him
I
she’s on shift rn i think
M
fuck
i need to get this fucking door open before date
I
y?
M
first i stole his lease then i stole his name. now i am stealing his job
O
Working at a flower shop?
M
yeah with a gayass mentee and the craziest supervisors known to man. so much more fun than high school
O
Can’t you idk apply for a job like a normal person???
M
no??
they don’t hire normal people they get freaks off the street
also they just hired the gayass. so there def isn’t an opening right now unless boss decides having an employee with a thing for date is too weird even for us
S
that’s where you draw the line? seriously?
M
and if some tv guy had a thing for UR dad. what would you do
S
gross i’d die
M
see???
S
isn’t mr. date your roommate. and your dad famously dead
M
i can have more than one dad bitch
i am getting date’s life insurance and none of you fucks can stop me not even ms. hitomi
and anyway more importantly i am getting lien to help me break into the flower shop so i can steal his fucking job
O
What even is his job actually?
M
florist? duh
O
He has a gun???
M
job description is “cool florist” but date is not cool
I
he’s kind of cool
M
bullshit
O
He was also definitely investigating the New Cyclops Serial Killer, which I think we all know is not a normal florist thing to do
M
no he was just trying to get a date. has a thing for guys who want him dead. thought if he found the new cyclops killer he could shoot his shot and maybe make it
O
What
????
I
oh yeah. long story short he and the cyclops serial killer are exes
the breakup was epic and devastating
O
Seriously???
I
no
M
not a chance lmfao
O
Okay then why was he looking into the New Cyclops Serial Killer?
M
found lien gtg
later losers
I
byyyyeeeeeeee
O
You didn’t answer my question???
Tesa, what do you think Mr. Date was up to there?
I
shovelforge drama
O
That makes so much sense!
S
because kaname date is just famously into shovelforge
I
i will convert him trust
also u do not need to play shovelforge. to be involved in shovelforge drama
do not underestimate my powers young padawan
A
what was the drama then?
I
i had ota film a blackmail video for me :3 and then used it to blackmail him into either giving me more blackmail material or playing shovelforge
A
did it work?
I
u would not BELIEVE how much blackmail i got on him b4 he and my mom realized they were in fact exes nd i realized that using the blackmail would p much destroy their chances of of getting back together. so i got rid of it :(
A
why, what was the blackmail?
I
framing him 4 being a groomer
if i released it online my fans would have eaten him alive. but then i realized. that mom would NEVER let me near him again like ever. and that she wld not believe that i had faked it 2 get him 2 play shovelforge w me confirm a conspiracy theory or 2. nd she wld never ever take him back. so i got rid of it all in order to get my more important scheming done
M
hey guys can someone run over to sunfish pocket and get kizzy i think i broke her boyfriend
S
what happened
M
turns out the reason the locks were different. was that the flower shop is an active crime scene
with a body. in the middle of the shop.
I
corpse jumpscare?
M
yeah
which apparently??? date knew about?????
how am i supposed to steal his job if he doesnt tell me these things wtf
anyway gtg again we have to give witness statements
pls someone get kizzy
also ota i asked date and he and hitomi did not hook up after the open house and he doesnt think she knows where we live so idk wtf you saw but it wasnt that
I
we’ll just have to make sure it happens next time then!!
good luck with ur witness statement <3 have fun and stay silly!