Archive of Our Own ^beta

Leo was asleep. 

Donnie sat by his twin’s side. Safe and sound inside the pillow fort. In the quiet of the night Donnie could hear Leo breathing. Gentle and even. Peaceful. Undisturbed by the glow of Donnie’s computer cuff that illuminated the linen tent. It was easily four in the morning, but Donnie didn’t care. His head was throbbing and his eyes were burning, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t sure how long it’s been since he last slept, but he just didn’t care. Donnie sat there, awake, keeping watch of Leo’s vitals on his little screen. Monitoring every wheezy breath. Every shift. Every heartbeat.

It’s been two weeks since Leo came home. Two weeks since their Thanksgiving chase. Two weeks since the destruction of the key to the Prison Dimension. Two weeks since they discovered the ‘Neon Void’ was Leo. Two weeks since they ripped the Krang parasite out of their brother… 

Just two weeks.

Time felt like a foreign concept when Donnie tried to take all that in. In fact, the feeling wasn’t unlike after the invasion. Donnie was numb. Mentally detached from even his own physical needs, like hunger or sleep. The shock made it hard to feel anything. Minutes felt like hours yet days slipped by quickly in this disassociating haze…

It didn’t feel real. 

And it was terrifying. 

Donnie mindlessly tapped on the screen. Cycling through all the different readings for the millionth time. Leo’s heart rate. His blood pressure. His neural activity. Everything he could get a measurement on. Just in case. It was becoming his habit to check in whatever spare moment he had. Toeing the line of having a nervous breakdown if anything seemed out of the ordinary– 

Because what if something went wrong. Leo was toeing the line of being in critical condition. Donnie finally had his twin back– but what if, at any given second, Donnie would turn around… and Leo was gone.  

Leo was right next to him. He could hear him breathing. Donnie could reach over and touch his twin. He was literally right there. But the paranoia was too much to stomach. It made Donnie second guess what he could clearly see and feel. Ready for reality to pull some kind of cruel trick on him. And that’s why Donnie couldn’t look away from his tech. Needing to be ready for the worst case. Needing to be ready to react. 

And he needed the reassurance from a secondary source he knew couldn’t lie– needing even more proof that this was, without a doubt, real . 

But while Donnie stewed in his endless, agonizing anxiety… Leo slept like a baby. Or, rather, was nearly in a coma. Leo had mostly been asleep during these last two weeks. Worn down with fatigue Donnie knew he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. The amount of stress on his body and mind was immeasurable… It wasn’t all that surprising he was sleeping so much. 

And perhaps it was for the best that Leo slept… because Donnie, Raph, Mikey, Dad, and everyone else have been nothing but an utter wreck . 

Donnie sucked in a long breath. Pausing from his cycling to rub his face. 

Five years. 

Five…. Years ….

The weight of just how long that was came thundering down on Donnie and his brothers with a vengeance that could rival Krang’s when Leo came home. Once the adrenaline wore off and the metaphorical dust settled… the realization was crushing. 

All this time… Leo had been suffering. All alone. And they had just… left him there.  

The guilt was enough to kill them ten times over. It wasn’t until after those first few days of panic and getting Leo out of critical condition did it get a chance to hit them. And, in some ways, it felt even worse than the day of the invasion. 

Donnie wanted to feel happy. He was happy. He was so happy that he swore to the universe that he’d never ask for anything ever again. This was the best miracle he could ever wish for… 

Leo was here. He was alive. He was right here at Donnie’s side. 

But the guilt made each day a living hell. All of them felt it. The burn of failure. The agony of regret. Each of them was suffering from horrible remorse… 

Because how could they forgive themselves for just. Giving up?

Donnie glanced over. Leo was fast asleep, breathing deep, faintly wheezy breaths. The oxygen mask strapped to his face helped Donnie’s paranoia about his breathing… Mostly. Leo’s arms rested on his stomach, needing to be free for the IV tubes to stay secured to his arms. The monitoring probe stickers on his temple and chest thankfully didn’t seem to bug Leo too much. And the compression sleeve Donnie and Mikey made seemed to help significantly. Leo’s mauled arm was prone to sudden painful spasms thanks to the damage the parasite left behind. But thankfully Leo hasn’t had a bad episode like the first one because of it. 

And speaking of Mikey… Donnie turned his attention back to his computer cuff. With a swipe the screen switched from Leo’s vial reports to a live feed of the lair. Donnie easily spotted Angelo in the kitchen. Disheveled and yawning while he made a cup of coffee. Frankly, Donnie wasn’t looking forward to Mikey’s return to the TV room… Because he’ll try to get Donnie to sleep. And that was the last thing Donnie wanted to do right now, even though he felt like total shit. 

They took shifts watching Leo. Though the fact they all tended to stay in the TV room regardless if it was their turn somewhat defeated the need for shifts. Raph was literally across the room, laying on his stomach on a mattress he dragged in here so he wouldn’t crowd the pillow fort. He was within pillow-throwing range just in case something happened. Mikey had woken up a little while earlier and insisted that they swap for the “night shift” before going to the kitchen to make coffee... But Donnie didn’t think he could sleep if he tried. 

Besides– Leo had been asleep for quite some time now… He was bound to wake up soon, even if just for a second. Donnie needed to be awake and ready, just in case. 

Leo’s sense of clarity seemed to fluctuate. Not really that surprising given the substantial head trauma he sustained. (And emotional trauma and psychological trauma and physical trauma and literally everything else in the world). Sometimes when Leo woke up, he was in a daze. Barely responsive. Practically a shell of a functioning person. But sometimes, he was cognizant– though he needed the occasional reassurance this was reality. That usually ended up in a lot of tears, when Leo had to re-learn he was home and safe now. 

Sometimes he woke up scared. There were too many times Leo had bolted awake hissing and screaming. Those were the worst times. 

And sometimes when he woke up, it was– 

Something moved in Donnie’s peripheral vision. Glancing up from his cuff, Donnie saw something wiggling from under the blanket: 

The tip of the Krang tail. Lazily flopping around. Donnie looked over.  

… And sometimes it was just this. Leo, silently gazing at them, with a big, goofy grin on his face. When their eyes met, Leo started to rumble with a churr. Looking sleepy and content. Donnie’s chest felt tight. He turned off his computer cuff screen. He turned towards Leo, daring to reach over and brush his knuckles over Leo’s arm. Hoping to ground him to reality with physical touch. Quietly, Donnie spoke. 

“Leo…? You okay…?”

Leo said nothing. His tail flopped harder to hear his name. He simply continued to churr, looking like there wasn’t anything in the world that could bother him. Hmm. So that was a no on verbal communication this time. Donnie was partly bummed and partly relieved. It wasn’t ideal… but it was much better than the times he woke up freaked out…  

Donnie offered a little smile. Shifting back into his spot, he whispered, “Go back to sleep, dumb-dumb.” 

There was no reaction other than Leo continuing to purr. Not that Donnie expected one. Now that Donnie knew Leo was in a calm mood, he could relax a little– 

Though he instantly got a jumpscare when Leo looked down at himself and started to reach for the IV tubes. 

Donnie snatched his hand. Forgetting to be slow and gentle to keep from scaring Leo because of his frayed nerves. Leo looked up at him. Donnie’s heart was pounding from anxiety. Yet, he managed to keep his voice soft, “Don’t touch, ‘Nardo.” 

Leo watched him for a moment, expression impossible to decipher. After a second, Donnie tentatively let Leo’s hand go… though he was ready to grab his twin’s wrist again if he tried anything fishy. Thankfully, he didn’t. Leo rested his hand back on his stomach, studying Donnie. He was quiet. Rumbling churring stopped. It made Donnie’s chest prickle with worry. He hoped he hadn’t ruined Leo’s good mood. Or worse, inadvertently triggering a domino effect to something worse. Like another potential episode. There were times before Leo woke up and in a panic ripped out his IVs. During his more cognizant spells, he had admitted he thought it was the parasite. What if he got confused again? On instinct, Donnie raised his forearm up, ready to turn to his tech for reassurance– 

But Leo reached up and grabbed his forearm. Blocking the screen. 

Selfishly, Donnie got a bit annoyed. He’d blame sleep deprivation for that. Donnie resisted the urge to yank his arm away. He didn’t want to hurt his brother’s feelings by doing so… but Leo had probably just grabbed it because of the light. Donnie reached to move his hand. 

“Tired sigh. Don’t touch that either–.” 

Donnie did a double take when he glanced at Leo. 

Donnie stared, holding very still. Caught off guard by the way Leo was looking at him. His brow was pinched. A worried expression on his face. Donnie felt Leo pressing down on his computer cuff. Donnie blinked. Mind slow to react. His confusion only worsened when Leo reached up to grab the sleeve of his purple sweatshirt and started to tug. Unhappy clicks tumbling from his mouth. 

“What is it, ‘Nardo? What’s wrong?” Donnie whispered. He quickly wracked his brain. Leo hasn’t acted like this before– what did it mean? Should Donnie wake Raph?? Was Leo upset with him–?? Each question only made Donnie’s anxiety worse. Thoughts starting to spiral– 

Leo puffed through his nose. He let go of Donnie’s sleeve. He aggressively– or, as ‘aggressive’ he could be, with how weak and full of pain killers he was– pat the comforter at his side twice.  

Donnie blinked. 

… 

…… Did…

…. Did Leo… want him to… lay down??? 

He must’ve hesitated too long, because this time Leo reached over to grab his sweatshirt at the chest. He pulled, huffing through his nose. Trying to drag Donnie downward. 

Donnie sighed, a bit relieved. He didn’t really get why Leo was so persistent… but it was better than him trying to rip his own IVs out. The soft shell complied, carefully finding a spot next to his twin without interfering with the IVs and oxygen mask tube. The second he was more horizontal than vertical, Leo’s pout disappeared. Back to beaming his dumb, happy grin. Donnie crossed his arms. 

“There. Satisfied?” Donnie mused. Leo may not be able to communicate this time, but he still understood Donnie’s teasing well enough it seemed. He stuck his tongue out, pleased with himself. 

But when he did, Leo realized there was something on his face. The oxygen mask. He scrunched his snout. He let out unhappy clicks. He started to reach up towards his face– 

“Nope, nope, nope–,” Donnie urgently threw his arm over Leo’s torso on an impulse, blocking Leo’s arms from reaching. Leo quietly hissed, wriggling a little. He tugged at Donnie’s arm, but he was too weak to move it. Donnie wasn’t even holding his arm down that hard. Though it was for his own good, horrible guilt was ripping into Donnie’s heart, “It’s gotta stay on, ‘Nardo.” 

Leo whined. Donnie felt his fingers curling into his sleeve. He couldn’t tell if Leo was holding his arm out of frustration… or out of a sense of comfort. Either way, it made Donnie’s heart ache. But it was nothing compared to seeing the look on his twin’s face. Leo’s eyes were squeezed shut, his brow was pinched… and there was a scared expression in his clenched jaw.  It made Donnie feel like he was a villain just as bad as Krang One. 

Donnie had gotten better with feelings and offering comfort over the past few years with Mikey and Raph… but Leo was a different case. He was extra fragile– extra unstable. Donnie… didn’t quite know what to do. His body moved awkwardly, hand giving Leo a pat on his arm while his arm was still trapped across Leo’s torso. He felt Leo squeeze his arm tighter. “It’s okay– you’re okay…” Donnie murmured. Leo whined softly. Donnie felt the guilt increase tenfold. Sweet Pizza Supreme Donnie wish Mikey was here… 

Thankfully Donnie’s prayer was answered. A millisecond later, Mikey came teetering back in. Exhausted and groggy with his cup of coffee in hand. Whether it was the smell of the coffee or Mikey’s pronounced yawn, Leo instantly perked up. He looked over– and when he saw Mikey he was all smiles again. He chirped happily– Krang tail twittering. Mikey looked up, surprised– 

But then Mikey’s face lit up with a big smile. He let go of his coffee to slap a hand over his mouth. His cup didn’t go crashing into the floor– rather, it lazily floated in the air, surrounded by a halo of Mikey’s Ninpo. He whipped out his phone. Suddenly Donnie wanted to retract his wish for Mikey to come back so soon. Donnie sneered at his little brother who’s thumb was tapping on the screen in a way Donnie just knew was him taking a billion pictures. Mikey was shaking, clearly holding back sounds of delight. He acted like Raph did when he saw pictures of cats cuddling on the internet. 

“Delete those,” Donnie gruffed at his little brother. Mikey looked utterly pleased with himself, scrolling through the photos. His coffee cup floated behind him as he came over to the fort. Plopping down on the other side of Leo, he cooed, “No,” Mikey sweetly cooed. Donnie scowled. 

“Delete those or I’m going to nuke your phone,” Donnie lied. 

“And if you do, I’ll make sure you never have eyebrows again,” The younger brother cheekily shot back, unfazed by Donnie’s threat. Donnie grumbled under his breath. For as emotionally supportive Mikey could be, he could also be just as much of a little shit. Though that came with siblings by default, Donnie supposed… (Though Donnie would sooner give up his eyebrows than admit that he was glad Mikey would keep the pictures.) 

“Hey Lee,” Mikey’s tone got infinitely softer when he addressed Leo. Leo’s purring intensified. “How’re you feeling?” 

Again, Leo said nothing. Like when Donnie had tried talking to him, all Leo did was continue to churr. Though Mikey’s smile didn’t falter, Donnie could see the ache in his eyes. Clearly disappointed. Donnie could relate. The lack of consistency of how Leo acted or reacted when he was awake was frustrating…

Sometimes… it was hard to tell if Leo was getting any better at all. 

But one thing that was consistent was Leo’s awareness of all three of them. After a few happy moments of smiling at Mikey, Leo’s expression shifted. Somewhat alert under his daze. He looked from Mikey to Donnie. He started to look around, a wheezy cheep on his voice– 

“Raph’s over there, Leo,” Mikey gently told him. He gestured with a nod of his head towards the other side of the room. Leo struggled to lift his head enough to spot Raph. Their older brother was softly snoring– completely dead asleep on his beanbag. 

Leo chirped– much louder than before. He wriggled, still struggling against Donnie’s arm. He huffed through his nose, frustrated when Mikey put a hand on his shoulder to keep him down too. He clicked hurriedly before chirping loudly again, eyes fixed on Raph. Donnie and Mikey looked at each other. This wasn’t the first time this had happened– thankfully, that meant they already knew what to do. Mikey gave Donnie a little nod before turning to Leo again. 

“Don’t worry Leo–,” Mikey gave Leo a soothing pat. Leo looked at him with worried eyes. “Mikey’s got you,” Mikey sweetly promised– 

But despite his caring tone, he promptly threw a pillow at Raph’s head faster than the speed of sound. 

“Raph! Wake up!” Mikey barked. 

Raph jolted with a loud snort. His head popped up, eyes unfocused. “Wha–? Whazzamatter–?” he slurred. He had to shake his head to wake himself up a bit more. Poor Raph was just as exhausted as they were– if not more so. Their older brother had barely slept at all since Leo’s homecoming. Donnie would have felt bad over how Mikey woke him up if he didn’t already feel like if he didn’t get sleep soon he’d go insane. 

“Raph, get your butt over here,” Mikey waved at him. Raph’s expression started to grow annoyed, mouth opening to yell at Mikey for waking him up when there was no emergency… until he added, “You’re too far away. Leo wants you over here too.” 

Those were the magic words to make the irritated snapper calm. Under the tiredness in his face was gentle understanding. Gruffing ‘okay okay’, Raph picked himself up to shuffle over. He gave Leo a snaggle-tooth grin while circling around the back, needing to enter the pillow fort from behind to make room for everyone. Raph gave him a head pat, murmuring, “Hey buddy…” 

Leo chirped, dazed and happy. Donnie quietly sighed in relief now that Raph and Mikey were here and Leo was happy. And for a while… everything was peaceful. All four of them were together, resting in the calm quiet. A reprieve from the exhaustion, guilt, and paranoia. 

But like usual, the calm didn’t last long. Leo was getting restless. He had been so happy when Donnie laid down with him– when Mikey and Raph came back to the fort– but now his scattered focus was seesawing from them to the mask and IVs on his body. He started to click again, anxious. Wiggling and trying to reach for them. Donnie had to all but squeeze him to keep him still. His Krang tail was starting to get more and more agitated, threatening to break free from the weight of the blankets. Mikey and Raph tried hushing him, murmuring everything was fine– but Leo clearly wasn’t listening. Or couldn’t understand. There was a tingling warning deep in Donnie’s gut from a source he couldn’t quite name… but… he knew if this continued, Leo would freak out. 

“...Miguel, can you do something?” Donnie mumbled. Worry swirled in his gut, “I-I think he’s getting confused by the IVs again…”

Mikey looked at a loss for a moment before a soft, understanding expression crossed his face. 

“Dr. Chill-Pill is on it,” He reassured his older brother. Mikey turned his attention to Leo, smiling softly. 

Mikey gently laid a hand on Leo’s forehead. The slider’s unhappy look disappeared. He churred, tilting his head towards Mikey a little to feel more of his palm. Mikey’s hand started to glow. A warm, gentle, golden light illuminated his palm. Leo’s eyes instantly started to droop. A confused but sleepy chirp on his breath. Smiling, Mikey whispered, “Hey Lee… ” Mikey brushed his thumb over Leo’s forehead. Leo was struggling to keep his eyes open. “It’s okay… we’re right here. Go back to sleep… m’kay?” 

Thankfully, Leo didn’t need much more convincing. He tried to stay awake a beat longer, but he easily fell to Mikey’s “Ninpo therapy”. Within seconds his eyes were closed. Breath evening out. Fast asleep once again. There was a shared breath of relief among the rest of them. Thair Ninpo never failed to calm Leo down… but they weren’t exactly sure why, though. But it worked, and that’s what mattered… Especially if it helped keep Leo from triggering another episode of him thinking the IV tubes were part of the Krang Parasite again. 

And for a moment, there was quiet. Mikey, Raph, and Donnie simply watching over Leo. Donnie caught Raph glancing over at him. His big brother asked quietly, “... How do you think he’s doing?”

“... I don’t know,” Donnie admitted. 

A pause. The way his brothers’ expressions saddened made Donnie wish he had lied. After another moment of silence, Raph chimed in. Commenting hopefully, “... He’ll get better. It’s just going to take some time.”

Their expressions didn’t change. If anything, Mikey’s brows knit together with frustration. Donnie could recognize that look. 

“... It’s not your fault, Mikey.” 

That only made Mikey look more frustrated. Not that Donnie blamed him. Mikey, Raph, and Donnie were constantly telling each other that very same thing… 

But Donnie never once believed that he himself wasn’t at fault for what happened. And though he honestly meant it when he told Mikey, he doubted his little brother believed it. And Donnie doubted Raph believed it when he was told that, either. They shared the same sense of guilt with an unforgiving hatred aimed at their own selves. And each day– when they saw Leo like this– it only reminded the of what they did. Or, rather, what they failed to do. 

None of them blamed each other… but none of them could forgive themselves. 

Mikey closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“... You should try to get some sleep, Dee,” Mikey commented. 

Donnie was silent. Mikey offered one last little smile before turning to Raph and whispering that he should go back to sleep too. Raph looked guilty to sleep… but ultimately he gave into his fatigue, resting his head with a tired puff. Mikey turned his attention to his floating coffee. Taking it in hand he fished out his phone to entertain himself for his ‘shift’. Donnie glanced down at Leo. He was fast asleep again. Peaceful and unbothered. Donnie studied him for a moment longer before letting out a sigh through his nose. He let his heavy eyelids close. They felt like lead. Like the rest of his body. It felt nice to lay down. 

Even if the guilt ate him alive every second of every day– even if Donnie never got a full night’s sleep ever again– even if Donnie could never leave the lair again because he had to monitor Leo’s vitals… it was okay. If this was some kind of price to pay to have his brother back, he would do it a million times over. Because Leo was here. He was safe. He was happy.

And being able to have his twin by his side again… Being able to know that his family was together and safe again… made this paradise.

♡ Author's Note ♡

hello everyone!

i'm slapping together a little series of post-"The Neon Void" fluff 🩵 There's no set number of one-shots i have planned, nor a posting schedule-- I'm just planning on writing these as they come to me. I may need to rearrange them in order as they come out, so keep an eye out!

also these will totally be less polished and more self indulgent than anything, and will mostly like have no beta read lol. So just have fun and relax with me!