Chapter Text
What Stiles hadn't anticipated was that the exhaustion of the rescue wouldn't be limited to the day it happened, or even the immediate days after. Not the weeks after, either, and at this point he was starting to grow afraid that even months wouldn't be enough time to recover.
All things considered, the rescue itself wasn't really what took it out of him. With the full force of hunters, magic practitioners, other pack alphas, other supernatural creatures, it really hadn't taken too much to get Kate Argent - Gerard's daughter, Stiles eventually learned - and a former emissary turned dark by the name of Jennifer Blake, or Julia Baccari, it really wasn't clear, under control and in custody. Dealing with the countless victims that the pair of them, alongside other hunters, were holding hostage in the warehouse district?
Well, that was a lot more work. Some of them had been there - or at least under the control of Kate and Jennifer - for years. It had been a lot less time for Derek, but certainly no less traumatizing. Or, at least, they assumed it had been traumatizing.
Derek still wasn't talking about it. He'd withdrawn for the semester and returned to Beacon Hills with Stiles and Talia and Deaton and Peter, but that was it. There had been more than enough evidence, and plenty of victims that were willing to share, that Derek's statement hadn't been necessary.
Stiles thought that it was bullshit, that they still should've needed something, but he'd eventually come to the realization - yes, okay, by talking to his dad about it - that making Derek share what had happened to him before he was ready would only hurt him more in the long run. All they could do was support him in the meantime.
Stiles still thinks it's bullshit, a little bit, and it's clear Peter does too. At least, that's part of why Stiles assumes that he's still sticking around. Oh, he's still working on his degree, since he's so close to finishing, but he worked something out so that he'd be able to stay in Beacon Hills while he finished up, only occasionally having to actually head back to university.
He'd been able to claim a family emergency - an extended one, and if he'd had to put up a big fight about it, Stiles hadn't heard. He made it seem effortless, and having been witness to Peter's smooth talking up close and personally, it probably was for him.
Stiles himself wasn't so lucky. He still had to deal with his senior year and applying to schools, and he put in the required effort, but he certainly wasn't extending himself as far as he had been at the beginning of the school year. Instead, he threw his focus into his emissary training. His grades didn't really suffer, so there was no argument to be made with him about where his priorities lie.
Derek wasn't talking about it, but Stiles wasn't talking about it either. It was clear as day that his desperate need to be as magically prepared as possible was a trauma response to feeling like he hadn't done enough for Derek in his time of need, but no one was going to press him on it.
What had been DerekAndStiles when Derek was still in high school became DerekAndStilesAndPeter - it was rare to find the three of them apart, these days. Sometimes there was a need for space, usually from Derek, but they tried not to let him actually pull away and retreat into himself. It was one thing to avoid smothering him, babying him, treating him too differently. It was another to let him slip away from them; from the whole pack entirely.
Stiles' feelings for Peter complicate the whole thing to a degree that he hadn't anticipated. It's not that much of a surprise given the fact that he didn't anticipate the feelings existing in the first place, but it still kinda sucks. The proximity is an issue, much as Stiles would prefer that it not be.
Given the nature of his magic, Stiles is actually pretty exceptional when it comes to keeping a lid on his emotions and presenting a calm and collected front, at least as far as his energy is concerned. But it's a lot of work to maintain that kind of control all of the time , and it wasn't something that he typically did when he was just around the pack and his dad. He was supposed to be safe and comfortable in those times, and his growing-by-the-day crush on Peter really put a damper on it.
There was still time that Derek and Stiles spent just the two of them, though, mostly where sports were concerned. It was actually a huge relief for Stiles the first time that Derek had asked him to work out together after everything had happened. It was just such a normal thing for the two of them to do, and it ended up creating a routine that they both came to rely on.
It was there that Derek finally started opening up. It was usually something small, some off-hand comment about Derek's time in captivity, but Stiles started getting better at anticipating when they'd occur. Thankfully, it wasn't just Stiles that he opened up to. Derek was his best friend, sure, but Stiles was still a teenager that was in no way qualified to fully take on the weight of Derek's experiences. He could share the load, though, and he would, as long as Derek needed him to. Forever, if it came to that.
Derek sharing more naturally led into Stiles sharing more, though, and he started to feel the weight of his secret feelings for Peter between them. There were things that Derek didn't know about him simply because they'd only known each other for less than two years, but there weren't things that Stiles was deliberately keeping Derek from finding out aside from this, and the difference was stark. Stiles hated it.
But what would Derek possibly think? That Stiles had actually been attracted to Peter from the moment that they met, but only realized it when they were looking for him together. That Derek had been missing and Stiles was thinking about how badly he was interested in Peter ? He could never say that. Never.
Plus there was the little fact where yes, Stiles was 18, freshly legal, but significantly younger than Peter in a genuinely meaningful way. In a way that his dad, himself, the pack, everyone who meets them, and most of all Peter himself will be acutely aware of.
Derek’s getting better, and it makes Stiles’ heart soar. Unfortunately, that also means that Derek’s getting more perceptive, and back to some of his old tricks. Stiles should’ve known that the peaceful workouts and open and honest conversations wouldn’t last forever - they were a pitstop on Derek’s road to healing.
“So, are we ever going to address the elephant in the room?”
Stiles freezes in his stretch - which, ooh, he actually really did need to hold that longer anyway - before he relaxes. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
And he is being honest, saying that. There's a whole host of things that they still aren’t really talking about yet, and Derek could be referencing any one of them. He has a feeling he knows what Derek's going to say, anyway, though. And he's not ready for it - not in the least. But it seems like Derek is, so Stiles is just going to do his best to go along with that.
Derek snorts, and the sound is so casual and familiar that it makes Stiles' heart ache for all the time that he didn't get to hear that sound, just for a moment. Then Derek is talking again, and Stiles really needs to pay attention. This is absolutely not the time to let his mind wander. "Let's pretend that's true. What's going on with you and Peter?"
"Oh, that," Stiles says, like a fucking idiot, and doesn't elaborate.
"Yes, Stiles, that. C'mon, why are you holding out on me? I know things have been different with the two of you lately, and as much as I think of myself, I know it's not all about me."
It's Stiles' turn to snort at that - Derek is probably one of the least egotistical people that he knows. Oh, he knows he's good looking, he knows he's smart, he knows he's athletic, none of that is a surprise at all. But he's also humble. He understand that none of those things makes him god's gift to humanity, and fuck if that doesn't make him even more of a complete package. It's kind of infuriating, sometimes, if Stiles is entirely honest. But it's a good joke, and Stiles isn't going to disrespect Derek and what he's been through by poking back that it is all about him.
He'd hear the lie, anyway, and Stiles isn't interested in lying to his best friend, even if he's not particularly interested in having this conversation, either. "You're right, it's not just about you."
Stiles says it, then pauses. Derek doesn't reply - he just gives him the space to do the processing that it must be glaringly obvious that he needs to do. Stiles really is goddamn lucky to have a friend as good as Derek.
"I have... feelings for Peter. Platonic ones, sure, we're friends. But also romantic ones." Stiles winces. "And sexual, but I'm assuming you don't really want to hear about that."
Derek screws his face up in a caricature of disgust, but then relaxes it immediately and replaces it with a gentle, friendly smile. "You're right, I really don't. Let's circle back to those romantic feelings, hm? How long has that been going on?"
And isn't that just an interesting little question, actually. "Since I met him, really. If you mean when I finally figured it out? While we were looking for you."
The guilt that he feels even just saying that out loud really sucks, but Derek seems to get it, if the way he throws an arm around Stiles' shoulders is any indication. "You were always slow on the uptake," he teases, lightening the mood. Stiles doesn't relax entirely, he couldn't if he tried, not with this as the topic of conversation, but it eases a little.
"Tell me about it," Stiles agrees with him. "Did I tell you that when we met, I started researching if werewolves could have thralls in the library? While Peter was still here? I couldn't understand why I couldn't look away from him. I figured he had to have some sort of extra powers, or something."
Derek actually laughs at that, and Stiles relaxes the rest of the way. Sure, he's still a little bit nervous to be having this conversation when he doesn't know where it's going to go, or if it's going to go anywhere at all. But they've made it this far. Stiles got the secret out. Now he just has to keep talking about it, and who better to do that with than his best friend?
“I just - does it make any sense at all if I say that I don’t think I want to do anything about it yet? I mean, I’m happy acknowledging it. Know thyself and all that. But I just don’t think I’m ready, and I have no idea if he would be, either. I don’t even know if he’s interested.”
“Look, I think that’s one part of this whole thing that you absolutely can be sure about, okay? Peter is so into you, dude. Like, it’s actually kind of pathetic.”
“What,” Stiles pauses for emphasis, “the hell do you mean by that?”
“Okay, maybe pathetic isn’t quite the right word, but he’s gone on you, you know? Has been since you met.”
“How do you - ” Derek taps the side of his nose, making it clear how he knows, and reassuring Stiles that he’s telling the truth. “But then why - ”
“Stiles,” Derek starts delicately, with a sigh. “You know that - ”
Stiles’ shoulders slump. “That just because you know something or can read something on someone, that doesn’t mean that you share it, because it’s still private, and you can misinterpret things and it can become a whole mess so it’s best to just avoid it altogether.”
“I doubt that’s how mom said it, but that’s the gist, yeah. So you get why I didn’t say anything. If there was something Peter wanted you to know, he would have said it himself.”
Stiles bites his lip. That’s a really big part of what he’s afraid of; what he’s waiting for now. Maybe Peter does want him, but there are things holding him back, too. Maybe it’s not fair for Stiles to press him before he’s ready.
The trouble is just all the not knowing. “I know,” he settles on saying to Derek, admitting what he’s known since that night in the hotel, if he’s really honest with himself. “I mean, I think I figured that he was attracted to me too, once I figured it out. But then I couldn’t think of why he wouldn’t say anything, but - “
“But you do know why he wouldn’t say anything, and it’s part of why you haven’t said anything either.”
“Yeah,” Stiles says. “I suppose that just about sums it up.”
Derek nods at that, but remains silent, still holding Stiles close.
“It’ll work out, you know. Even if you don’t end up together. You’re good for us - for the pack - and I know we’re good for you, too. You have time, Stiles. You haven’t even graduated yet.”
“Yeah,” Stiles says again. “Time for things to go wrong, too. Time for Peter to decide he doesn’t want me like that anymore, or that he can’t have me. Life’s short, Der, and I don’t want to screw this up.”
“You’re going to,” Derek advises, honest as always. “You probably both will. Stiles, nobody’s perfect. Not you, and not Peter, and not anyone else in the whole wide world. All you have to do is be honest with yourself, and with him, when you decide the time is right.”
He pauses then, and asks in a softer voice, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared,” Stiles blurts out before he gets a chance to process or filter the words in any way. “I didn’t - I still don’t - “
“This doesn’t change a thing between us, okay? Whatever you were thinking, whatever was stopping you from being honest with me, let it go. This is a good thing, Stiles, not the end of the world. Yeah, I’ll kill you if you hurt him, and him if he hurts you, but that’s just because I love you both. Okay?”
The sob escapes him before Stiles even knows that he’s started crying. He can feel Derek’s energy shift, the panic rising, and starts shaking his head. Because no, that’s not what’s going on here. Stiles isn’t breaking down. He’s just so unbelievably relieved.
Because Derek is healing. And Stiles is getting ready to graduate. And he doesn’t know exactly what the future holds for him - and him and Peter, if it goes that way - but that’s okay. He’s only going to worry about the things that he’s in control of, for now. Maybe he won’t be able to control his anxiety, exactly, but figure out how to acknowledge it for what it is - irrational, at the worst of times - and let it go.
“Stiles? Stiles, can you hear me?”
Stiles shakes out of the thoughts and remembers that he was in the middle of a conversation with Derek when he had this breakthrough.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry, Der. I just - “
“You don’t have to be sorry, Stiles, I’m just worried about you."
Considering how worried he's been about Derek, Stiles can absolutely understand the sentiment. He feels a little bit bad - he's been so caught up in his own feelings, and thinking about Derek, that he didn't realize that his behavior was probably affecting Derek, too. It's a vicious fucking cycle sometimes, with how close the pack is, not that Stiles would trade it for anything. He remembers what it was like before he had them, and he never wants to go back there. Yes, he had his dad, and it was enough. But this is so much more.
"It's just all so uncertain," Stiles says, because he doesn't know how to say those other things right now. He doesn't know how to say that he's so afraid that any little thing he does or changes will be the catalyst for him losing this beautiful thing that he's found and become a part of.
"I'll let you in on a little secret - it's always going to be," Derek smiles, pulling that older and wiser act that Stiles normally loves to call him out on because seriously, he's only a year older than Stiles. It feels pretty comforting right now, though, so he lets it slide. Maybe he can give Derek crap about it later, though. "It's always going to be uncertain, but all you can do is figure out what you're going to do next. So - what do you want, and what are you going to do about it?"
Stiles sits with the question, pushes his panic away and just thinks about it. What does he want? He wants to go to college. He wants to finish his emissary training. He wants to get to a place where he thinks he can actually address this thing between him and Peter. And laid out like that - maybe it's not all so crazy and overwhelming after all. He has time to do all of those things, and a support system that will be with him every single step of the way.
"I want to go to school, even though I haven't figured out what I want my major to be yet. I want to stay closer to home, though. I don't think I want to live in the dorms or anything - I want to stay here with the pack and with my dad. I want to really focus on my training with Deaton, and keep meeting other magic users. And I want to take some time and grow up and figure myself out, and I want to see where things go with Peter after I do that for a little while."
Stiles wants to bathe in the light of Derek's energy as he talks and talks. There's nothing but pride and support and love from his best friend as Derek pulls him into a tight embrace. "You're going to do all of that, and you're going to be fucking amazing with it."
He doesn't know if that part is true. Stiles thinks back to what Derek had said - how he will screw things up, because he's only human at the end of the day - and he knows that while he can be as determined as he wants to be, things will go wrong. He'll make the wrong decision, say the wrong thing, all of it. But none of that means that he can't still get what he wants.
After the turmoil that was the fall and then the fallout from that, the rest of high school doesn't really feel that intimidating. Stiles finishes his tours and applications and gets in everywhere he applied, to no one's surprise but his own. He chooses the school that's closest to Beacon Hills - a twenty minute drive, without traffic - and gets a pretty decent scholarship. Between not living there and the scholarship, he's in great shape. His dad didn't have huge college savings available for Stiles, which he'd apologized for over and over again, but Stiles brushed him off every time.
Talia pulls him and his dad into her office, and offers to pay for everything. It's a more than generous offer, especially since Stiles is still in training, but it's pretty clear at this point that they're beyond that. They're pack, Stiles is going to be their future emissary, and they're family. They manage to work things out to a half and half approach, which gives Stiles and his dad a better cushion with the option to avoid loans altogether, and just like that it's settled. Now all he has to do is graduate, which honestly feels pretty damn easy in retrospect.
He focuses more on spending time with Derek, Peter, Cora, the rest of the pack, and especially his dad. There was so much going on in Stiles' head that he hadn't shared, and it didn't feel right. He wasn't exactly keeping secrets or anything, but he hadn't been as open with his dad as he should've been.
A good start is talking about his goals, what he wants, including Peter. The sheriff definitely takes some time to process that revelation, but Stiles doesn't know why he thought that he'd be anything less than supportive.
"I'm proud of you for recognizing what you need, and taking all those steps to make it happen. Sure, I wish you felt like you could've talked to me sooner, but I'm not angry. Stiles, I'm so proud of you. I don't think I say it enough."
Stiles can't help but throw himself into his dad's arms at those words. He knows himself, he's comfortable with himself, but there's nothing like having the loving affirmation of your family. Nothing. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"You'd better tell me when you get to a point with Peter where I can give him a shovel talk, though, son. I'm a sheriff, and I've always wanted to use that authority."
Stiles rolls his eyes, because his dad is ridiculous and he loves him with his whole fucking heart. "You guys are part of the same pack. I don't know that your shovel talk will have the intended effect. I appreciate that you're so certain that it will happen, though."
"Son, I might not have known that you returned his feelings, but I'd have to be blind not to notice how Peter lights up when you're around. I trust him, and I trust the Hales, so I know there was never anything untoward going on, but he's been pretty gone on you for a long time now."
That gives him pause. Derek had said it was obvious, too, but if even his dad has picked up on it, has the entire pack? Because that - that's a little bit intense. For everyone to know the depth of Peter's feelings for him, attraction to him, except for Stiles? That's a lot to deal with. But he does respect that no one has said anything; that the trust they all have is as strong as it is.
Maybe Peter has confided in someone, too, just like Stiles has talked to Derek and now his dad. Stiles finds himself hoping that he has, that Peter isn't dealing with this alone. No part of that represents what pack is about - there should always be someone you can talk to who helps lighten the load. Stiles thinks that he's been that person for Peter before, and hopes that someday they'll always be that person for each other.
But that's going to be in the distant future. For now, what Stiles can do is help keep Peter fed and hydrated as he buries himself in preparation for his thesis defense for his master's. For now, Stiles can continue training hard with Deaton to protect these people that he loves so much. For now, Stiles can train with Derek and make sure he's not slipping away. And all of that is enough.
The whole pack shows up to celebrate Peter's graduation when his defense is successful, and likewise, just a few weeks later he has to ask for extra tickets so that everyone can attend his high school graduation. They're there for Cora too, but he knows he's included. He knows that they're there for the both of them.
When he finds them after the ceremony, Cora having found them first due to her last name coming earlier in the alphabet, he's immediately pulled into hugs. His dad is first, Derek a close second, and then he finds himself pressed up against the wide expanse of Peter's chest.
"You did it," he hears Peter say in a voice that holds too much emotion for a simple high school graduation, in Stiles' opinion. "I'm so proud of you."
"It's no master's degree," Stiles says, playing it off, but then Peter pulls back and smiles at him with exasperation, holding him at arm's length with a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't do that. You have plenty to be proud of, Stiles, and I won't hear you disparaging yourself. You've done more than graduate high school, and you know it. I can't wait to see what you do next."
It takes all of Stiles' impulse control to not say, "I could do you next," but he manages. Instead, he just returns Peter's smile and hugs him again, despite the din of people around him congratulating him and waiting for their turns. It's a brief moment, sure, but it's reassurance enough that Stiles knows he's on the right path, that good things are coming his way.
He throws himself into training again in the summer, and travels frequently with Deaton. He meets other practitioners, and other apprentices, and really grows in his confidence. It helps that there's no question in his mind that the Hale pack is right for him, and he's had enough conversations with Talia and Laura and Deaton that he knows they're sure about him, too.
He learns about the process of matching emissaries with packs when it's done differently than the way he did it, and it seems interesting enough and he's glad for the context, but he's also relieved that it's simply not something that he truly has to think about.
On a special few occasions, they're accompanied by other pack members. Inter-pack negotiations and relations are important, too, and part of Stiles' duties as emissary. He can't help but notice that it's strange that Peter is almost always Talia's proxy for these meetings, but he tries not to read too much into it, and just enjoys the experience for what it is. It's a good thing, and a great way to improve his skills and pass the time as school in the fall approaches. It doesn't hurt that Peter is still just so interested in Stiles and his magic. Now that it's been pointed out that his feelings aren't unrequited, he can see it.
He sees Peter watching him, the way that his eyes go dark when Stiles does something particularly powerful or complex. It makes Stiles start to feel desperate for it, but he sticks to his resolve. He needs to go to college. He needs to finish his emissary training. Then - then he can let himself think about actually having Peter.
There's a big 'going away' party at the end of the summer, which feels a little bit silly. Derek is going back to school, comfortable that the threat of Kate and Jennifer and their followers has been thoroughly dealt with and he'll be safe there. Cora's taking time off to work, unsure about what or if she wants to study in a post-secondary capacity, and Stiles isn't really going anywhere. It's not like the Hale Pack really needs an excuse to get everyone together and break out the grill, though.
Stiles is a little bitter about it in the back of his mind, sometimes. This is the Hallmark movie family that he'd seen on TV, since Claudia had loved those stories. It's the story that his family could've been, if everything hadn't gone wrong. And Stiles is a part of it now, and so is his dad, and that's great. But he still mourns for it for himself, for his parents. Just because something is here and is good doesn't mean that he can't think about what could have been. It doesn't mean he's not happy.
All in all, being in college doesn't really seem to change much of Stiles' life. He studies, and he trains, and he even picks up some part-time work contributing to a magic store online that a few emissaries and practitioners in the area work on. He doesn't need the money, but it provides the illusion of a little bit more independence, which is nice since he's still living with the pack.
The thought of moving out into an apartment only crosses his mind briefly, and once. He's going to be the Hale pack emissary, and he's going to live with them. He's already family. Everyone does things differently, and this is the way Stiles is going to do it, at least for now.
He's a little clingier with Derek this time around, but he doesn't think that his best friend minds one bit. Derek makes the time to come home and visit more often, and Stiles makes the trip at least once if not twice a month. Peter goes with him a few times, and part of Stiles fears that it might be loaded with everything unsaid between them, but it's not. It's comfortable, and Stiles thinks that this is what he's always wanted.
Sure, there's something to be said for the nerves and excitement of meeting a stranger and falling in love, but Stiles prefers this; stepping into love with someone like relaxing into a warm bath. That's what being with Peter feels like, even without any 'formal' acknowledgement of the feelings between them, and Stiles treasures it.
In the spring, as he's getting ready for his finals and somehow finishing his first year of undergrad, he's also preparing for something that's an even bigger deal: officially becoming the next emissary of the Hale pack. There's a ceremony in everything, which embarrasses Stiles to no end, but Deaton and his dad work together to talk him off of that ledge.
"This is a huge achievement, Stiles," Deaton says. "You have excelled through your training. And while you're not taking over for me just yet, you could. It's impressive, especially for someone your age who came into your gifts when you did and the way that you did. Take pride in everything that you've done."
"I just - "
"Stiles," his dad says, fond and exasperated all at once because that's always how he sounds having these conversations with Stiles. "Listen to him. I may not know much about magic, but I know you, and I know how dedicated to all of this you've been. You deserve this, son."
The ceremony itself isn't anything too elaborate, thankfully. It does include a few of the surrounding packs that Stiles has visited, allies of the Hale pack, and Stiles is struck a little bit by just how many people he's met and worked and negotiated with. The other magic users from the website are there, too, by Deaton's invitation. Then it's just his pack, his family, and what's there to be nervous about when he's surrounded by them?
Deaton and Talia both speak, and Stiles is presented with a pack token - a beautiful triskele on a length of black cord that Derek is the one to fasten around his neck, with a beaming smile. Normally it would be done by the alpha heir, by Laura, but Derek had asked to be the one to do it and neither Laura nor Talia had any protest. Stiles will eventually be Laura's emissary, yes, but Derek will be her right hand, and there's no denying how close they are.
Of course, there's a barbecue afterwards, not that Stiles is complaining. There's a cake to be shared, after, too, but thankfully that's it.
At least, Stiles thinks that's supposed to be it, but after the cake is cut and Stiles is relaxing in a chair, full beyond belief, Peter stands above him and holds out his hand. "C'mon, lazybones. Take a walk with me."
Stiles groans for show, but of course he takes the proffered hand and starts to walk away from the crowd with Peter. He feels eyes on the pair of them as they gain separation, but he doesn't look back to check who it is. They're a pack full of busybodies - Stiles' father included - but if Peter wants privacy, they'll give it to him.
Stiles isn't really used to Peter being this quiet, but he doesn't mind. It's a beautiful day, and he's surrounded by everyone he loves. What could he have to complain about?
He can't hear anyone else by the time that Peter pauses, just on the edge of the preserve. The trees stand tall, beautiful, and inviting. For a moment, Stiles thinks that Peter's going to go into the preserve, which he might just have to protest, but he stays there. He's still quiet, searching for something in Stiles' eyes. Stiles doesn't know if he finds it, or what he should be showing, but Peter starts talking, and that's a relief.
"I'm so glad that you came to be with our pack, Stiles. I know it wasn't the easiest start for you, and I know I wasn't there for it, but please believe me when I say you've changed us for the better. I know Alan's already spoken to you about how impressive it is that you're already at the point that you are with us, but I wanted to say it too. You're a brilliant and incredibly talented young man, and I'm glad to know you."
"Peter," Stiles starts, a little choked up because how could he not be?, but Peter shakes his head.
"I have something for you," he says, and seems to grow a little bit more nervous. His anxious energy is shared by Stiles, but he tries to stay cool, calm, and collected. It’s nearly a total non-sequitur, but Stiles doesn’t care. He’s just relieved that Peter has something to say at this point. “I know you received the token from the pack, but this...this is just from me.”
Stiles understands the implication of that particular phrasing almost immediately, and his heart begins to pound in his chest. He can’t believe that this is actually happening. He’s daydreamed of it, dreamed it at night too, but Peter is actually going to talk about this thing between them. Stiles just might throw up.
But he doesn’t - instead he just breathes and watches Peter, waiting for him to continue. His breath definitely picks up when Peter pulls a box out of his pocket, but it’s far too big to be a ring. And it wouldn’t be a ring, anyway. Jesus, they’re not even dating. Stiles really needs to get out of his own head right now.
Peter opens it to reveal a gleaming silver watch. Stiles can tell immediately that there’s more to it than the luxury of the brand, though Peter certainly hasn’t skimped there, either. No - the watch has its own energy, likely its own magic. Stiles doesn’t think he’s breathing anymore. He stares at the watch, then stares up into Peter’s eyes, searching.
“It’s beautiful, Peter, thank you,” he says, because he has manners. And then - “What is it?”
The tension of the moment breaks a little bit as Peter laughs, and takes the watch out of its box, gesturing for Stiles’ wrist. Stiles obligingly holds it out and lets Peter affix the watch to his wrist as he explains.
“First and foremost, it really is a watch. A classic graduation gift, really. I know your line of work doesn’t exactly require something like this, but it’s still a good thing to have. But I’m assuming you’re asking about its other qualities.
“It’s nothing too complex. Really, it’s a conduit for your power. All it’s meant to do is ease the burden of the physical toll that your magic can take by transferring some of the energy that you use and manipulate into the watch instead of into you . Someone would have to have your specific power, or at least something akin to it with the ability to use the energy, so it’s safe. It’s yours.”
It’s the most thoughtful gift that Stiles has ever received in his life . There’s no pause before he simply throws his arms around Peter, holding him tight.
“Thank you,” he repeats, hoping that everything that he’s not saying comes through, because he doesn’t have the words. Peter returns the hug, just as tight, and even fights it a little bit when Stiles pulls back.
The result is that they’re so close, so intimately close and face to face and Stiles’ resolve breaks . He’s done it - he’s checked his boxes - and he’s done holding himself back.
At first, the angle is bad when Stiles slots their mouths together and kisses Peter. But Peter remedies that almost immediately; only pulling back for the briefest of moments before adjusting and bringing his lips back to Stiles’ own.
Maybe it’s not the best kiss in the entirety of human history, but it sure feels like it to Stiles. He’s wanted and wanted for so long, and now he has . Even if this is only an indulgence - even if they’ll go back to their carefully maintained emotional space after this - he’s finally had this. Quick as the thought is there, it disappears, knowing that having had this and then having it taken away again would be so much worse .
Peter doesn’t seem to be thinking these catastrophic thoughts. No, he seems to be putting his absolute all into kissing Stiles and making him feel warm and treasured, and so Stiles does his best to reciprocate the energy. He’ll have plenty of time to spiral. He needs to enjoy this moment; to make the most of it.
When Peter pulls back again, for real this time, Stiles actually stumbles a little bit. He hadn’t realized that he was putting so much of his weight onto Peter, who clearly took it like it was nothing, because he’s a werewolf and it is nothing to him. It’s a heady thought.
“Stiles?” Peter asks, hesitation clear in his voice, “Was that okay?”
No power on heaven or earth could’ve stopped the laugh that bubbled out of Stiles. Was that okay?
“Peter, I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m the one who kissed you. Shouldn’t I be asking if you’re okay?”
Peter huffs. “You seemed a little off-balance, at the end there. Can you blame me for caring? If we’re just going for the obvious, I’d like to point out that I very clearly kissed you back.”
“Yeah,” Stiles says. “You did. Are you going to do it again?”
Peter’s eyes darken, and Stiles swears that he can feel that dark gaze drop to his lips before Peter meets his eyes again.
“Maybe, if you ask nicely. And if we do talk about this at some point. It doesn’t have to be right now - we have a party to get back to, and I know you might not be ready. But I don’t want there to be any lingering confusion or miscommunication between us, alright?”
“Yeah, alright. Please kiss me?”
“There’s a good boy,” Peter praises him, forcing Stiles’ brain to go completely offline as Peter presses their lips together once more.
He hangs on tight, giving as good as he gets, and it’s still over too soon. Maybe Peter hears something, or maybe the moment is just naturally coming to its conclusion. They are expected back at the party, after all. Peter certainly isn’t wrong about that.
Peter smiles at him and squeezes him tightly once more before stepping away; putting more distance between them. Stiles feels bereft almost immediately. He knows they can’t stay pressed together, but he reaches out his hand and takes Peter’s in his own.
“We don’t have to do this the whole way, if you don’t want them to know. But I just - I still need this for right now. Is that okay?”
“More than.”
The party has actually started to dwindle significantly by the time that they return, but Stiles makes good and drops Peter’s hand before they’re in the line of sight of anyone else. He still feels like he’s floating on cloud nine, but the watch on his wrist is actually a wonderfully grounding reminder of the fact that what just happened actually happened, and it’s easy enough for him to continue making the rounds.
He catches Peter’s eye more than once, but it doesn’t feel tense or awkward, or like there’s some sense of impending doom waiting for them. There’s a conversation to be had, surely, but Stiles knows what he wants, and he’s not going to be afraid to ask for it. Not when everything finally feels like it’s in place.
Unspoken, they meet in the library. Everyone is exhausted after the ceremony, party, and related setup and cleanup, so there’s really no risk of running into anyone else. And it’s a lot less charged than doing this in one of their rooms. Sure, Stiles is happy to kiss Peter more, but they really do need to talk about it too, and more neutral ground is better for that.
Stiles opts to go sit in an armchair. They could do this across one of the long research tables, but it feels too formal. This isn’t the end of the world. It’s hopefully the start of something beautiful. Peter takes the chair that mirrors Stiles’, and he waits for Stiles to say something, a pleasantly neutral look on his face. It’s like he’s trying to make it blank but just can’t quite manage to hide his smile all the way.
That’s good. Stiles doesn’t want to be hiding anything, and he doesn’t want Peter to, either. In fact, that’s probably a really good starting point.
“So, full disclosure?” Stiles asks, and Peter’s nodding his agreement before the words are even finished leaving his mouth.
“Good. I, um, it was while we were looking for Derek, for me,” he confesses, because he wants to know when it was for Peter, so it makes sense for him to share. “I mean, that’s when I realized that I had feelings for you. It probably started before then, honestly, even back to when we met. But that’s when I figured it out.”
Peter smiles. “I had a feeling, but - ”
“But there’s no way that would’ve been the right time. Not for either of us.”
Peter shakes his head. “Exactly. Not that I believe there ever really is a ’right time’ for things like this - or anything really - but there is a wrong time, and I wouldn’t have felt right trying to broach the subject. Not while we were both so worried, and newly spending more time one on one. I certainly took comfort in being there with you, though, I’ll confess.”
“Oh my god, I was so relieved when you walked through the door at the dorm,” Stiles laughs. He sobers a little, then adds, “And it was really nice to have you there at night, too.”
Peter hums in acknowledgement, but then pivots. “It was as soon as I met you, for me. That same day, at the very least. I can admit I certainly wasn’t happy with you at first, but then you were so worried. But you didn’t let it faze you - you worked with Alan so quickly to remedy your mistake, and you were genuine in your apology. It was a wonder watching you work.
“And then I saw how well you were already fitting in with the pack. I could tell you were still nervous around me, but you lit up the room during that first dinner. Then I found you in the library - my library, looking like you were at home. I was gone.”
The words steal the breath from Stiles’ chest. Peter is definitely being honest with him, and it’s almost devastating from the intensity of it. It’s only fair for him to return the favor.
“You asked me why I was looking at werewolf primers that night when I was already pretty integrated into the pack - it was because of you.”
“Because of me?”
Stiles flushes, but pushes through the embarrassment. It’s Peter . He can say this. “I couldn’t understand why I was so drawn to you. I already knew that vampires weren’t real, but the concept of a thrall could be, and I just - “
Peter tips his head back and laughs and it’s beautiful. “You thought I had you in a thrall?”
Stiles throws up his hands. “I didn’t know! I couldn’t explain it! I was so sure you were still upset with me over the itching powder thing, but you were also just so kind and so interested in me and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. I didn’t know what to do with all that. I mean, I figured out pretty quickly that there wasn’t anything else going on. That it was just you. But it still took me a while to figure out why you had that effect on me.”
The smile that Peter had from laughing turns into something a little bit darker, a little bit filthier. It makes Stiles want. And they’ve at least done some talking, right? Before he can second guess himself, he stands and moves towards the chair Peter’s in. He gets a finger under his chin, tilts his face up, and kisses that smirk right off of his face.
Once again, Stiles is the one who initiates this, but his mind is still blown by how into it Peter seems to be. There’s no hesitation. He’s not quite sure how he finds himself being pulled into Peter’s laps; strong arms coming around to circle his waist and hold him in place effortlessly, but he’s certainly not upset about it in the least.
He knows that werewolves run warm - it had been in the literature, and he’s spent enough time with the pack now to know it’s true - but every point of contact between his body and Peter’s feels like it’s on fire .
It sucks , but he is trying to be mature about this. So the next time he has to pull back for air, he actually sits back. He’s still in Peter’s lap, not losing the contact, but giving them the space to continue their conversation. It's satisfying to see that Peter clearly mourns the loss of the contact too. Stiles' brain has registered that Peter definitely wants this too, but believing it is a little bit of a different story - one that requires evidence like the way that Peter can't take his eyes off of him, his hands still clutching Stiles' hips tight.
"What do you - I mean, I'm here, but I'm still in school, and things can be kind of crazy, but I still - I still want - "
Peter takes pity on him. "I want to be with you, Stiles, in whatever shape that takes. I want to take you out for dinner. I want to help you study. I want to be there when you're exploring and doing cool shit with your magic. I want more of this. Whatever that looks like."
"God, me too." Stiles exhales, because Peter gets it. Of course he does. Why wouldn't he? "That's all I want. I just - I just want to keep doing what we've been doing, and do it more , and go from there. And I just - I don't want to hide anything else from you. Obviously, we were both holding it in for our own reasons - and maybe a conversation about that wouldn't be remiss, either - but we don't have to anymore."
"Of course, sweetheart," Peter says, and Stiles blushes.
"You have to keep that up, too." At Peter's look of mild confusion, Stiles adds on, "Calling me sweetheart . I like that a lot."
He leans down and kisses Peter again, just to prove how much he likes the pet name. They stay just like that in the library, kissing and holding each other, until Stiles is yawning into Peter's mouth. Peter takes it well, of course, just chuckles and eases Stiles up into a standing position before rising to his feet himself. It's a little difficult to part when Peter drops Stiles at his door, but it's important. Yes , they've shared a bed before, but this would be different.
They have time. In fact, now that this is all hashed out, all they have is time and the promise of a beautiful future.
Initially, Stiles feels like he’s holding his breath, just waiting for something to go wrong. And it simply doesn’t. There’s a brief lull between the conversation and the kissing and their actual, technical first date (even if Stiles will privately always count that dinner at Olive Garden), but that’s just because of life . Stiles does actually have to finish prepping for his finals and take them before the school year’s out.
Once that roadblock is out of the way, though, they have free reign to play. And they do. It would be easy for it to feel unequal, Stiles thinks, except they’re both so disgustingly into each other that it never comes up at all.
Derek is the one who calls them ‘disgusting’ the most, but Stiles knows he’s the biggest supporter of their relationship by far, deep down. Maybe not all that deep, actually.
Luckily, it’s not like anyone takes it poorly. It probably helps that it’s been such a long time coming that seeing Peter and Stiles be physically affectionate is really not a surprise to absolutely anyone who knows them. They’re more discrete about it when traveling and talking to other packs, but even their close allies know.
It’s also a little bit of pressure. What if something goes wrong? What if they break up? What if they get bored of each other? It’s all been so public.
Catastrophizing doesn’t do any good, though, and things are going spectacularly well, if Stiles is honest. They go out to dinner, to the movies, even to mini golfing and the arcade. Even when they’re doing things that Stiles knows Peter can’t really be enjoying, he doesn’t act like it’s a chore, or like he has to force himself to do it.
The things that they have in common far outweigh the differences between them. And god , but there’s no question that they’re physically compatible. No question about that at all. In face, if anything, the pack (and Stiles’ father, supportive as he is) probably wishes that they were a little less physically compatible, at least while sharing a house with them.
Point is, it’s good. And god , does the time fly. That first summer is like magic - Stiles and Peter deep in their honeymoon phase, sharing all their firsts as a couple - but it goes by too quickly. Stiles is back in school, Peter is working, and life truly does get crazy and get in the way sometimes, but they make it work. Stiles is often glad that he decided not to go away for school. It would’ve been okay, if it had been something he’d needed, but it wasn’t.
They have as much time together as anyone could truly hope to have, and neither of them takes it for granted. It’s kind of a miracle, actually. It takes time - all of Stiles’ sophomore year, and then the summer, and at least the beginning of his junior year - before he actually relaxes into it and stops waiting for the metaphorical other shoe to drop (and probably hit him in the head on the way down).
All of a sudden - it’s not all of a sudden, not really - the pack is gathering and celebrating Derek’s graduation. It’s far from the first time that they’ve been back to the campus since his whole ordeal, but Stiles still can’t help the shudder that runs through him when he thinks about what happened to Derek here.
Derek, for his part, seems perfectly content to celebrate his achievement no matter where it is, so Stiles pushes those thoughts away for later. He can talk to Peter about it, if he needs to, if it continues to bother him. For now, he takes Peter’s hand and leans on his shoulder in the tall bleachers, waiting for Derek’s name to be called. If he manipulates things so that his voice rings out above the din of the crowd when he cheers, then there’s nothing wrong with that. Derek deserves this celebration.
Stiles will be in a similar place in just one more year. It’s difficult to comprehend, a little bit, just how quickly the time has passed. He just celebrated his third anniversary with Peter. They’ve come so far.
Time doesn’t slow down at all, either. He occupies himself with an internship that summer - working with the library of another nearby school on several research projects, and feels more confident than ever that library science was the right choice for his degree. It means that he basically has to go straight into graduate school if he wants any hope of finding a job, but it’s not an issue.
Really, he could just use his magic full-time, as emissary for the Hale pack and a practitioner selling things online. But he doesn’t want that. For one thing, Deaton isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so the position of emissary is still filled. And Deaton runs his veterinary practice on top of being the Hale emissary anyway.
And Stiles’ studies are such a big common interest for Stiles and Peter. It had taken a year of dating before Peter allowed Stiles to see the private collection that Derek had first shown him on his tour around the Hale house, and Stiles absolutely couldn’t blame him for his protectiveness when he first saw it.
The point is that Stiles enjoys the research and the ins and outs of library work and he loves sharing that with Peter, too. There's no way he's going to give it up - at least not now. Who knows what the future will hold? But for now, he's content.
Stiles doesn't like using content to describe how he feels. It's the right word, technically, but he feels like people only call themselves content when they're settling, and that's not his case. He's just fucking happy with what he has.
It's not always perfect. Sometimes the age gap flares its head and Stiles and Peter get into the world's stupidest argument. Sometimes they have to spend a good chunk of time apart and it causes misery. Sometimes the pack dynamics are awkward as they all change and grow. Sometimes it is an external threat - poor Derek seems to attract the worst people sometimes, though he's currently dating a nice woman named Paige who seems incredibly normal - but they almost handle those situations with more ease than anything that's a conflict within the pack itself.
Honestly, it's good to have those types of situations, though. The reminder that nothing and no one is perfect, because of course Derek was really right about that, is important. The lows put the highs in context; encourage Stiles and Peter to be grateful for each other and what they have.
It feels like Stiles hardly blinks before he's prepping for the last final exams he has to take for his undergrad. There's a zero percent chance that he fails badly enough not to graduate, so if he goofs off a little more than he normally would, well, he's already been accepted to grad school. He's staying locally again, of course, and sure they'll take his transcript, but he's really not worried.
Everyone is going to be there to celebrate him when he graduates, and it's an important moment that Stiles reflects on. Just a few years ago - though closer to ten than five now - it would have just been his dad. He's somewhat close with some of the deputies at the station, but not to the point where he thinks they would've shown up for his graduation.
He misses his mom desperately, so much that it hurts sometimes, but he knows that she would've been so happy for him, and especially happy that he has his dad and his boyfriend and a whole werewolf pack coming out to support him.
Peter helps him get ready. Stiles offers for his dad to be there too, but he shakes his head with a smile. "I'll help wrangle the pack and get everyone in place. Peter, we'll save you a seat."
"Are you ready for this?" Peter asks him, and Stiles nods confidently. It's another difference - a few years ago, he probably would've been nervous as hell, worrying about what was going to come next. Hell, maybe he wouldn't have even been in this position if it hadn't been for the Hales.
"Yeah, I am." Stiles lets Peter 'fix' his tie anyway, even though Stiles knows it's on properly. If anything, Peter's the one who seems a bit nervous right now, but Stiles lets it go. If he was scared, or angry, or what have you, Stiles would be able to tell. It's just nerves - nerves that Stiles will be more than happy to soothe tonight.
When Peter had suggested going on a trip for a few weeks to celebrate graduation, Stiles hadn't been sure if they'd be able to make it work with the amount of time off that they'd need, but Peter had made all the arrangements and reassured him that it would be fine. Their bags are already packed, and Peter drives separately so that they'll be able to go straight to their first hotel after the ceremony and celebratory dinner with the pack are over. It's going to be fantastic . In any case, Stiles will have plenty of time to ask Peter what's wrong and work through it with him in just a few hours.
Peter departs not long after, and Stiles follows him out, heading to the place they asked the graduates to gather and get ready to walk. It's not a huge school, thankfully, but big enough that Stiles doesn't recognize all of the faces around him. He says his goodbyes and his congratulations to several of the people that he does know, and it's not all that much longer before they're all lined up and ready to process.
The procession goes smoothly, and Stiles half-listens to the commencement speakers before he's getting back up out of his chair and ready to walk across the stage. He shakes the school president's hand and smiles for a picture as he accepts the empty folder that he will be able to use for his diploma when they mail it to him (who the hell came up with that system?), and being towards the end of the alphabet, the whole thing is over not too much longer after that.
Stiles is swept into a parade of hugs that starts, of course, with his dad. It's such a familiar touch, and Stiles clings probably way longer than is appropriate, but he doesn't care. He's here , and his dad is here , and Stiles is so fucking happy.
"I'm proud of you kiddo," he asserts before passing him off to Peter's embrace instead.
"He's right," Peter says. "You're amazing, sweetheart. I can't wait to celebrate you."
There's a promise in Peter's tone, though also still a bit of those earlier nerves, so Stiles squeezes him tightly as well. "I probably could've done it without you, in the spirit of full transparency. But god am I glad that I had you by my side the whole time."
Peter's smile is nearly blinding as he hands him off to Derek, and then to the rest of the pack. They take pictures, despite Stiles' protests that he doesn't need them, and then they're finally off to the restaurant. He dumps his cap and gown in one of the other cars, then joins Peter so that it's just the two of them driving to dinner. Peter is unusually quiet the entire drive, and Stiles finally can't take it anymore when they get to the parking lot.
They get out of the car, but before Peter can start walking towards the restaurant, Stiles blurts out, "What the hell is going on? Why are you so nervous and twitchy? Did I do something? Is something wrong with the trip? Or is - "
Peter laughs before he kisses Stiles to stop the word vomit pouring out of his mouth. "Sorry, sweetheart. I should've realized you'd be able to tell that something was up. Well, I was going to do this later, but I suppose now is as good of a time as any."
He glances around, but it's likely that everyone else has already made it into the restaurant, since Stiles had to make the stop to drop off his cap and gown. It's not empty , but it's a lot lighter than Stiles would've thought it would be for this time of day, and especially with graduation happening not too far away. That's not the important part right now, though.
No, the important thing is Peter pulling away from the kiss and fucking dropping to one knee.
Just like that first kiss that they shared over four years ago now, all of the air leaves Stiles' body. He doesn't think he could breathe if he tried right now.
Peter's smooth as hell about it, of course, but Stiles can see the slight tremble to his hands as he pulls the ring box from his pocket and opens it.
"I have loved you from the day that I met you, itching powder and all. I love you when we're eating together, or studying together, or any time that we get to spend together. My life is infinitely better for having met you, not to even speak of how much better you've made it by making me so happy these last four years. Will you prolong that happiness for the rest of our lives and marry me?"
"God, Peter, yes ! Of course I'll marry you. Now get the hell up off the ground so that I can kiss you!"
Peter laughs at him again even as he obeys and stands up. Stiles practically throws himself at him, but he couldn't care less if he looks too overeager or earnest or whatever. Peter wants to marry him. Peter loves him.
This - this is the best day of his goddamn life, and there are only so many more good ones to look forward to. Stiles throws his all into the kiss. He starts to hear cheering and clapping distantly, and that's when the rest of the pack filters out from in and around the restaurant. Cora has a camera in her hand, thankfully, and it becomes clear that this was planned, if a little bit differently.
There's one more moment where it's just them, despite being surrounded by their loved ones, because Peter finally breaks the kiss long enough to get the ring onto Stiles' finger. That's when they truly end up getting swarmed, just like at the end of graduation.
His dad finds him first, again, but Derek is a close second.
"We were already family, as far as I was concerned," Derek says to him, "But I'm more than happy to make it official."
And Stiles doesn't know when exactly he started crying during all of this, but he definitely is now, as Derek holds him tight.
Family. They're family, and they're going to be forever. The Hale Pack - and Stiles and Peter - have nothing but a bright and beautiful future to look forward to, and Stiles can't wait to cherish every second of it.