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Just This Boy I Met on the Internet

Summary:

Rock was blowing up zombie dinosaurs in SFR Online in PVE mode when he received a call over his headset.

“Hey.”

“Where the fuck are you?”

Rock’s mouth quirked up slightly, shooting another zombie velociraptor in the head. “Hey, Forte.”

“Don’t ‘hey Forte’ me, get your ass in PVP!”

Notes:

BassRock Week 2024 - Sep. 8th - Coffee/Café

I want to give a BIG THANKS to BookKeep for their Discord Workskin & Tutorial and to MelonPalooza for explaining the parts that confused me. This fic wouldn't look nearly so cool without them!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Oh, you camping piece of shit!”

Rock laughed over his headset as ContraBASS shouted curses into his ear. He’d been playing Super Fighting Robots Online with Bass practically since the game came out.

“That’s cheating, Mega- dickhole!”

“All’s fair in love and war, Bass!” Rock singsonged. “Get wrecked.”

“I am going to rip out your tongue through your asshole!”

“Graphic,” Rock smirked, getting comfy in his gaming chair and taking a sip from his drink. He wandered the level with his own character, Megaman, not wanting to stand around in one place for too long lest someone else come along and kill him. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“Oh, suck my dick, Mega. Cock sucking useless piss wheel - “

“Someone’s extra salty today,” Rock hummed. “You could go to college off your swear jar money.”

“I don’t need a fucking swear jar to go to college!”

“Never said you did. Just that you could.”

Bass was quiet for a long moment. Too long. Rock licked his lips. “Bass? You still with me?”

“...My mom’s dead, man.”

Rock’s eyes widened. “O-oh, god, B-Bass, I’m so sorry - “

A buster shot blasted Megaman in the head on Rock’s screen, the words “headshot” flashing in red. Rock sat there with his mouth open as he was forced to watch ContraBASS teabag Megaman while his respawn counted down.

“Chill,” Bass snorted in Rock’s ear. “It happened years ago. I don’t even remember her.”

Rock hesitated, even as Megaman respawned. “You - your mom’s really dead?”

“Why would I lie about that, fuckface?”

“I - I don’t know… just… I’m really sorry.”

“Like I said, it’s whatever. Dad got remarried recently, but she’s a bitch, so like, no, I don’t kiss my mother with this mouth.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. Fucker. You are the worst at trash talk.”

Rock smiled. “I’ll make it up to you by kicking your butt this round.”

“Bring it, Mega-dweeb.”

# general: just chatting

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

@Megaman hey what about you?

Megaman 05/03/20XX

what about me what?

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

i shared my tragic backstory, what about you
you got parents or something, oliver twist?

Megaman 05/03/20XX

oh, yeah
i kinda have a big family i guess
i;ve got two siblings, almost three. mom's pregnant.
she and dad have been arguing about the name

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

no shit?
step-bitch is knocked up too

Megaman 05/03/20XX

yeah?

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

its all dad cares about anymore
you know i got suspended and he didn't even say anything?

Megaman 05/03/20XX

what????

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

yeah he just kinda shrugged like 'what else is new?'

Megaman 05/03/20XX

do you get suspended a lot?

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

irrelevant

Megaman 05/03/20XX

whatd you even do????

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

punched a guy
who cares?
not them. all they care about is the stupid nursey and the stupid parenting classes and their stupid perfect crotch goblin

Megaman 05/03/20XX

babies take a lot of attention. Im sure they dont mean to ignore you

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

and i quote
“you were an accident. I wish you were never born. We should have had an abortion.”

Megaman 05/03/20XX

oh

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

yeah

Megaman 05/03/20XX

that... really sucks, bass. im really sorry.

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

its whatever
second i turn 18, im getting out of this dump

Megaman 05/03/20XX

what'll you do?

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

dunno. whatever i want, i guess.
maybe ill become a world famous wrestler or something like that. Or a scientist, really rub it in that old fart’s face.
or idk bartend or something.
i dont care so long as i dont have to keep living here

Megaman 05/03/20XX

i wish there was something i could do

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

dont be stupid
its not YOUR fault

Megaman 05/03/20XX

still
it sucks, right? your dad shouldn't be like that

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

yeah well he is
what can ya do

Megaman 05/03/20XX

maybe one day we can like
get an apartment together or something
we could go halvesies and, like, get one of those side-by-side gamer setups in the living room

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

idiot
as if that would ever happen
...its a nice thought, though

Megaman 05/03/20XX

yeah...
i guess that was kinda silly. i dont even know your name.

Megaman 05/03/20XX

@DropTheBass?

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

Forte

Megaman 05/03/20XX

hah?

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

my name is forte

Megaman 05/03/20XX

oh!
thank you

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

well?

Megaman 05/03/20XX

well?

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

well what's YOUR fucking name?
jesus.

Megaman 05/03/20XX

oh oh oh!!!
Rock

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

fine, dont fucking tell me

Megaman 05/03/20XX

no, my name is Rock

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

like... johnson?

Megaman 05/03/20XX

like... Rock and Roll
that's... actually my sister's name
we're twins, and dad's really into music, so we all have music names.
that’s actually what he and mom have been arguing about, she doesn’t want Baby’s name to be another music genre

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

thats so weird

Megaman 05/03/20XX

my brothers name is Blues

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

THATS SO WEIRD

Megaman 05/03/20XX

YOUR NAME IS FORTE

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

YEAH, BUT I DONT HAVE A BROTHER AND SISTER NAMED MEZZO AND PIANO

Megaman 05/03/20XX

lmao i dont know what to tell you, bass
forte

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

your whole family's so weird
crap i gotta go
old bastard's yelling at me to go to sleep

Megaman 05/03/20XX

good night forte. sweet dreams.

DropTheBass 05/03/20XX

terrible nightmares, rock

Message #general

Rock was blowing up zombie dinosaurs in SFR Online in PVE mode when he received a call over his headset.

“Hey.”

“Where the fuck are you?”

Rock’s mouth quirked up slightly, shooting another zombie velociraptor in the head. “Hey, Forte.”

“Don’t ‘hey Forte’ me, get your ass in PVP!”

Rock frowned. He slumped down in his chair, collecting dinosaur teeth and leather. “I’m not in the mood…” he mumbled.

“Ugh, fine, you whiney piss baby. Can we at least do one of those co-op dungeons? I’m fucking bored.”

“Yeah,” Rock sighed. “Meet me at Lotos Cave? I still need that Dragon’s Bane battle chip.”

“Fuck you, I want it.”

Rock sighed. “Fine. You can have the first one.”

“Damn straight.”

ContraBASS appeared near the mouth of Lotos Cave shortly after Megaman reached it. They formed a party and started the dungeon. It was challenging with only two players, but not impossible. Forte played the role of dps while Rock hung back casting healing spells. Fighting each other is fun, sometimes, but Rock thinks he prefers cooperative mode. He found himself simply listening to Forte curse over his headset, like some kind of weird ASMR.

The Lotos final form battle was hard fought, but together they flanked the hydra and took it down.

“YEAH!” Forte cheered. Rock heard the vague sound of something getting knocked over and clattering to the floor on the other end. He tried to hold back his giggles, thinking of how similar his friend’s reactions to winning and losing were. “Augh, yes, how’s that fuckin’ taste, you overgrown lizard fuck! I’m the fucking best!”

“You’re the best,” Rock hummed fondly, clicking the emote to make Megaman dance in celebration.

Forte continued to celebrate for a good minute. Rock could picture him - or what he imagined him to look like - getting up and pacing his bedroom to burn off the excess adrenaline, the sound of his aggressive self-aggrandizing faint.

Forte returned to his mic with a self-satisfied groan, and he began looting the boss. “So…” he hummed, calmer now. “What’s got you mopey?”

Rock blinked. “Mopey? I’m not mopey.”

“Yes, you are. You barely said a word all game.”

Rock was quiet for a long moment. “It’s… Roll.”

“Yeah? What’d she do, steal your lipstick?” Forte snorted.

“...She’s going to prom tonight.”

“Uh? I thought you said you guys were homeschooled.”

“We are, but she’s got this friend that invited her to go, so… she went.”

“The hell do you care?”

“Well… maybe I wanted to go too.”

“Prom is lame. Mine’s tonight, too, but I’m not going.”

“...You skipped prom to play with me?”

“No, I skipped prom because prom is lame.”

“Right…” Rock sighed, resting his chin in his palm. “It’s not like I’d have the guts to take anyone, anyway.”

“Why not?”

“...” Rock swallowed thickly. “Um… b-because…”

“... because? Spit it out already or I’m logging off.”

Rock took a deep breath and whispered: “Cause Dad would find out if I took a boy?”

There’s a beat of silence for longer than Rock was comfortable with. Oh god, now he’s done it. Forte wasn’t going to want to be his friend anymore -

“So, like, what, he’s homophobic or something?” Forte growled.

“N-no! Well… I don’t know. He seems cool with that kind of thing, it’s just… well… he’s a little sexist, you know? He gets these ideas about what he thinks we should be doing, and… and he and Blues got into this huge fight over his college major cause it wasn’t what Dad thought it should be and - and I don’t… I know he must have this idea in his head that I’m going to be an engineer like him and get married and have a couple kids, and I don’t… know how to disappoint him.”

“Oh, it’s easy, I disappoint my old man all the time.”

Rock couldn’t help a small smile. “Bass - “

“You’re such a goodie-two-shoes, so start small. I’m thinking guy-liner, then work your way up to spraypaint and larceny.”

“Oh my god.”

“I’ll send you a tutorial.”

Rock’s phone buzzed and he looked down to find a YouTube tutorial titled “Idiot Proof Emo Eyeliner.” The thumbnail was of a boy curled up like a pretzel in his chair, one foot resting on the table in front of him, using the elevated knee to prop up a mirror while he stabbed a makeup brush at his eye. The boy was about Rock’s age, with a mop of messy black hair and dark, baggy clothes.

Rock was in the middle of thinking he was kinda cute when he noticed the username.

“F-Forte… is this you?”

“Bitch it might be.”

Rock clicked the video and sure enough, Forte’s voice came out of the boy’s mouth, berating his audience for not being able to figure out how to smear black eyeshadow onto their face. Rock found himself looking at all the tiny details, the posters in the background, the large, fluffy dog sleeping on the bed behind him. He covered his mouth to muffle a giggle as Forte cussed out his makeup brush when he got powder in his eye. Forte had a small patch of blue skin on his cheek, and his nose was slightly crooked in a way that suggested it had been broken in the past.

He looked… nice. It’s not like Rock thought Forte would be ugly, per say, but he’d been expecting someone a bit more… average - a scrawny gamer kid, kinda plain, maybe with an acne problem or bad teeth.

Rock covered his mouth self-consciously.

“Is that Gospel?” Rock deflected.

“What?”

“In the video.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“I should send you a picture of Rush sometime.”

“Do what you want…” Rock could hear the sound of Forte popping a tab on a soda can. “But like, whatever, you know? If your fuckass dad decides to be a homophobic prick about it, like, fuck him. It’s your life, you can be a gay drug lord with thirty cats if you want. You don’t owe him shit.”

“...Thanks, Forte.”

“Don’t thank me for saying obvious shit, dumbass.”

Rock smiled. “Thank you anyway.”

“Fuck off, Mega, I didn’t skip prom to have mushy, girly talk with you. I skipped prom to kill pixels. Now come on, I think we can still raid the lion man crypt.”

“We are not going to duo Tar this late. We’ll get slaughtered.”

“Yeah, but I have enough coins for a private instance, and watching a bunch of loser neckbeards get mad at us for ‘stealing’ their raid is completely worth it.”

“You’re so mean,” Rock chuckled.

“Hey, if you don’t like it, we can go PvP - “

“No, no, I’ll take a stab at the crypt with you….”

Rock thought about the video of Forte for days. It wasn’t all thinking about his little blue birthmark or piercings either. He was thinking about how Forte shared himself with Rock, and Rock hadn’t done the same.

It’s weird to just send someone a photo of yourself unprompted, Rock reasoned. How was Forte even supposed to respond to a random selfie? It was borderline fishing for compliments - not that Forte was the type to give any.

Still, it didn’t seem fair.

Finally, Rock looked himself over in the mirror. He brushed his hair over and over, trying to make it look presentable. He brushed his teeth, and stuck a bandaid over a zit on his chin. He smiled at himself in the mirror, and grimaced at the gap between his teeth.

After fussing over his outfit, he called Rush over for belly rubs. He cooed at his good boy before pulling him into a half hug and taking a quick selfie, smiling with his mouth closed.

# general: just chatting

Megaman 05/08/20XX

Rush says hi to Gospel 🐶💙

DropTheBass 05/08/20XX

whats with the bandaid?

Megaman 05/08/20XX

cut myself shaving

DropTheBass 05/08/20XX

as if

Megaman 05/08/20XX

i shave! im not a little kid or something!

DropTheBass 05/08/20XX

pics or it didnt happen

Megaman 05/08/20XX

you want pics of my facial hair?

DropTheBass 05/08/20XX

your alleged facial hair

Megaman 05/08/20XX

fine, ill send you pics next time

DropTheBass 05/08/20XX

bet mine looks better

Megaman 05/08/20XX

prove it

DropTheBass 05/08/20XX

I WILL

Message #general

Rock was soon to discover that Frote shaved because he had the patchiest black stubble Rock had ever seen. Forte muted Rock for an hour when Rock sent him the picture of his own.

It was a Friday night when Rock’s headset rang. Bass hadn’t been online all evening.

“Hey,” Rock greeted, accepting the call.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck your dad.”

Rock blinked. “Forte?”

“You know, he’s so fucking lucky, right? Like, he’s got you as a kid. How fucking dare he be disappointed in fuckin’ - fuckin’ anything.”

Rock rolled his chair back, frowning. “Are you drunk?”

“Fuck yeah I am. An’ like, you could be too, right now, but your not, ‘cause you’re a good fuckin’ kid.”

“I don’t even know where I’d get alcohol. Where did you get alcohol? Aren’t you underage?”

“Yeah…” Forte slurred. “S’at at a party…”

Rock’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Forte, where are you right now?”

Forte giggled into the receiver. “Why? Y’gonna doxx me or something, pretty boy?”

Rock’s heart fluttered. “Forte, I mean it. Does anyone know where you are?”

“Think those drug dealers ‘round the corner know where I am.”

“Forte.”

“Chill. I’m fuckin’ with you. You’re so easy t’ mess with.”

“Are you safe right now? Maybe you should call your dad.”

“FUCK my dad!” There was a loud bang reminiscent of trash cans on the other end. “He aint shit. He’s never been shit. He blames me, but he - he wasn’t ever gonna be a scientist. He’s always goin’ on about this fancy school he got accepted into an’ how he had t’ drop out to raise me, an’ like? Skill issue. Fuckin’ skill issue, that aint my problem! He wasn’t gonna be any nobel prize winning fuckface, he was always gonna be a balding, crazy - HUP!”

Forte squeaked, followed by a loud clatter.

“Forte? Are you okay?”

“Nngh… skinned my goddamn knee. Fucking uneven goddamn sidewalks, should be fucking illegal, shit, fuck….”

“...Forte, please tell me where you are. I’ll get you an Uber, just - please, please be safe.”

Forte was quiet on the other end for a long moment. If it wasn’t for his breathing, Rock would have thought he’d hung up, and then -

Forte sniffled. “God, fuck, you’re like… my best friend, y’know that?”

Rock blinked. “What?”

“You’re, like, my fuckin’ soulmate, y’know? I just - I love you so fucking much. You’re so perfect, and cute, and nice - “

“You - you can’t just say things like that!” Rock’s face burned. He curled up in his chair, covering his mouth with his hands.

Forte burst into sobs. “Why are you so nice to me? I’m awful!”

“You’re not awful…”

“I am! I’m terrible, and you’re so good anyway! Forget every stupid douchebag I ever tolerated, you - you’re the one that’s there for me. My ride or fuckin’ die.” Forte hiccuped. “You even gave me those gold flowers for my homebase.”

“I knew you were having trouble breeding them, and they’re useful for crafting heart tanks.”

“If you didn’t live, like, probably thousands of miles away, I’d, like, marry you or something.”

Rock’s face burned. “W-will you just… share your location with me? And text me your home address?”

The text came through and Rock checked his phone. He paused, eyes widened.

“You’re kidding me.”

# general: just chatting

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

hey
i dont remember how i got home

Megaman 05/25/20XX

i called you an uber

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

...oh
so like
you know where i live

Megaman 05/25/20XX

you were really drunk

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

nice to know i full on doxx myself when drunk

Megaman 05/25/20XX

its fine

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

shit fuck balls
heads fucking killing me

Megaman 05/25/20XX

you should drink some water

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

i didnt say anything weird, did i?

Megaman 05/25/20XX

nope!

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

.......you said that too quickly

Megaman 05/25/20XX

its fine, Forte. you were drunk. drunk people say stuff.

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

GOD fucking SHIT

Megaman 05/25/20XX

but like
i did realize something

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

what

Megaman 05/25/20XX

we actually... live really close to each other
like, if i wasn't homeschooled, wed go to the same high school kinda close
i dont suppose you know Kalinka Cossack?

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

holy shit balls

Megaman 05/25/20XX

she's the friend Roll went to prom with

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

holy sack of shit

Megaman 05/25/20XX

um
are you okay?

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

yes
no
idk i wasnt expecting that
i just always assume everyone online lives in fucking antarctica

Megaman 05/25/20XX

lol
um... well i was wondering
do you know that new gaming café that opened up a few weeks ago?
we could… meet up? Get a donut and, like, rent settlers of catan or something?
if you wanted

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

...youre buying

Megaman 05/25/20XX

cool! next saturday? lunch?

DropTheBass 05/25/20XX

sure, yeah, whatever you say

Message #general

Rock was nervously nursing a strawberry frappuccino, foot bouncing up and down anxiously as he sat at a table with his big brother. Blues was drinking a coffee, reading one of his philosophy textbooks.

“What if he’s not coming?” Rock blurted out, gripping his drink tight. Blues hummed.

“Then your online friend who gets wasted at high school parties doesn’t show up. Chill out.”

“W-well what if he does? What if we meet up in person and it’s awkward, and we don’t get along in real life?”

“Too late to worry about that, little bro. Let’s keep our expectations small, m’kay? Let’s hope he’s not actually a thirty year old creep.”

The door opened and Rock quickly looked up to find the boy from the makeup tutorial walk in. Rock grinned and waved at him. Forte pushed the hood of his sweater down and flipped Rock off, making him laugh. Blues side-eyed Rock.

“I question your taste in men.”

Rock kicked his brother under the table. Blues winced.

Forte approached the table, shoving his hands into the large pocket of his hoodie. “Mega…?”

“Hey, Bass!” Rock grinned at him and gestured to Blues. “This is my brother. Blues, this is Forte.”

“Charmed,” Blues grunted.

“You bring him to make sure I’m not some creep?” Forte snorted. Rock smiled sheepishly.

“And because Settlers of Catan is more fun with more people?”

“Eh, it’s fine. I figured if you were a creep, I’d just kick your ass.”

Rock laughed and Forte smiled a little. He pulled out one of the remaining chairs and sat down.

“I’m still gonna kick your ass, though.”

“Whatever you say, Forte. I’m not gonna go easy on you,” Rock grinned.

“You better not.”

Blues snorted. “I’m gonna build the longest road.”

“Not if I build it first!”

Forte and Rock’s knees bumped against each other under the table and they made eye contact. Rock smiled at him. Forte smiled back.

And so the game began.

Notes:

Their icons were made using picrew. Rock's was made with reelrollsweat's "little guy maker" and Bass' was made with neko_860's "ちょっとものぐさな男たち".

Rock's mom - the sadly unnamed Emily Light née Stanton, whom I've borrowed from The Protomen - gets her way, and the baby is named Xavier, "X" for short. Thomas was really hoping for "Rhythm" or "Soul."

I don't have a name for Bass' mom or stepmom, nor do I have any idea why stepmom would name the baby "Zero," but that's who he is.

Series this work belongs to: