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We may devote to human love an unconditional devotion that is only meant for God.
Then that love will become a god. And it will become a demon.
And it will destroy us, and itself will be destroyed.
For human love, once allowed the place of God, cannot remain love in itself.
— C.S. Lewis, "The Four Loves"
"What is marriage?"
Lilith's irritable question made Lucifer awkwardly smile and avert his gaze.
"Adam is the husband, I'm the wife. Together, we're called a married couple, and apparently, we were born this way. A married couple is supposed to stay together for life, love each other, and carry the duty of reproduction. But do we really need the word 'married couple'? It's just Adam and me, we could simply be called humans."
"Angels like to create concepts, you know."
"So, if more humans are born and start reproducing, more married couples will appear?"
"Reproduction isn't necessarily what makes a married couple."
"Do they have to stay together for life?"
"Not always, no..."
"If they respect and love each other, can they be a married couple?"
"That's one of the biggest factors, but it's not absolutely required..."
As the vague answers continued, Lilith finally grabbed a handful of grass and threw it as she shouted.
"What is this nonsense! Can’t you just give me a straight answer? You’re acting weird today! Why won't you look me in the eye? Are you tired of me too, now? Am I just annoying you?"
"N-no! It's not like that! It's just... Seraph-"
"That bitch again?"
"Oh my, I told you not to use that word so carelessly. What if someone hears you?"
"So what? You taught me that word, so if anyone should get in trouble, it's you. You said I should call anyone who pisses me off or makes me angry a bitch."
"Damn it... I taught you that word way too early."
"So what about Seraphim?"
"I just got a warning that I'm teaching you too many things you don't need to know. So I can't answer your questions recklessly—"
"Like what? Bitch?"
"Lilith..."
"Asshole? Fuck? Idiot?"
Lucifer, barely holding onto his sanity, nodded weakly.
"Even 'fucking bastard.' You said you used all those words on Adam."
"Well, you taught me to use them."
"No! I mean, yes, but not on Adam!"
"Why not? Because we're a married couple?"
"..."
"It's weird."
Lilith began counting on her fingers as she spoke.
"To be a couple, all three conditions have to be met: staying together for life, loving and respecting each other, and fulfilling the duty of reproduction. I guess I’ll have to stay with Adam for life. Reproduction? That’ll happen soon enough."
She pulled her legs up to her chest, biting her lip as she murmured.
"But I don’t know about love and respect. That damned act of reproduction... honestly, it’s just painful and suffocating. I even asked if I could be on top, but Adam refused, and the Seraphim forbid it too. They said it reduces the chances of reproduction if I’m on top. What do I care? I’m the one in pain right now. Is this supposed to be love and respect? He doesn’t even listen to me."
"So that’s why you called Adam a bitch?"
Lilith didn’t respond, but her silence spoke volumes. Lucifer sighed softly as he gazed up at the sky. Who else could she vent her frustrations on besides Adam? He had once argued fervently to the Seraphim that anger was a natural emotion, vital for a healthy soul, and that cursing was simply the quickest and most direct way to release it. But the Seraphim had dismissed his argument, insisting that the first humans were created to live in perpetual happiness and pleasure, without ever feeling anger. But wasn’t it a contradiction that even angels, created to spread love, happiness, and miracles, could feel joy and sorrow, while humans were denied certain emotions?
"Can’t you just create more humans from dust? Do I really have to give birth?"
"Well... the prosperity of a species is easier and faster through reproduction rather than creation."
"And for that, I have to endure this pain? It’s not fair. Adam always seems to enjoy it."
"Intercourse is supposed to be an act of pleasure, not pain. Uh... the reason you’re finding it painful is probably..."
What to say... Unable to come up with a suitable explanation, Lucifer scratched his head. He could feel Lilith’s gaze growing fiercer by the second. The memory of the Seraphim’s sharp eyes sent a shiver down his spine.
"Because... Adam’s... uh, lacking! He’s not very good at sex!"
Father, I have sinned today. I spoke a falsehood, not knowing the truth, just to ease the heart of this innocent lamb before me... But it’s half true, so I hope you’ll forgive me.
Lucifer quickly made his confession in his heart. The Seraphim would have been horrified if they had heard him.
The Seraphim had warned him long before Adam and Lilith came into the world.
"Your ideas are dangerous. You see deviation and corruption as part of freedom."
"Lucifer, we know your nature. Even if we try to stop you, you’ll find a way to visit the first humans, so we’ll allow it, but only when you’re with us. You’re strictly forbidden from speaking to them alone."
"Lilith knows about Satan. We never taught them about evil, nor did we plan to. So… DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DOES SHE KNOW?"
"LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR, COME HERE AND SIT DOWN."
"YOU’RE HOPELESS. START ACTING LIKE THE ANGEL YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE!”
"Stop questioning everything! Don’t doubt His will. Because of you, Adam’s anxious, and Lilith refuses to listen."
It wasn’t that Lucifer hadn’t heard the Seraphim’s warnings. He simply wanted, with all his heart, to make the first humans happy. At first, he tried talking to Adam. Adam listened to the angel’s words. Lucifer explained that the words of Heaven weren’t absolute, and that Adam should think for himself about how to live. He told him that Eden wasn’t the whole world, and that a life filled with nothing but happiness and abundance would ultimately be a false one. He urged Adam not to ignore the existence of evil but to consider why it was evil, and to reflect and seek repentance.
"That's not He want. You are weird."
Adam’s expression gradually twisted, and eventually, he began avoiding Lucifer.
An angel, rejected by the first human.
The realization shocked Lucifer deeply. He shut himself in his room, crying uncontrollably for a long time. It was a brief period of peace in Heaven, with no incidents. The other angels hoped that Lucifer would remain discouraged and never look toward Earth again.
"Hello, Lilith! You know who I am, right? You must, since a little angel with so many wings is hard to miss! Ha ha!"
But Lucifer didn’t give up. He greeted the beautiful creation with radiant light, in his most glorious and magnificent form.
"Go away."
Before Lucifer could respond, Lilith walked off. He felt tears welling up again, but with only two chances in the world and having already ruined one, he couldn’t afford to give up this time.
Adam valued rules and obedience, so Lucifer had approached him by trying to teach about freedom. But Adam prioritized God’s teachings and considered Lucifer’s unconventional ways strange. Lilith, however... Lilith was impossible to figure out. Even in Heaven, she was a perplexing being, unpredictable and challenging.
In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Lilith could go anywhere and do anything. Angels would regularly descend to give them guidance and convey God’s teachings. Lucifer was there too, but he was only allowed to speak the words pre-approved by God. The first humans would kneel, gaze fixed on the ground, listening silently. At least one man kept his eyes downcast the entire time. But Lilith would lift her head, meet the countless eyes of the angels, and ask the most unimaginable questions.
She questioned the world beyond Eden, the justice and reasoning behind God’s rules. She even suggested changes to those rules. The angels always gave the same response: It is not for you to know. Do not doubt. Be grateful for what you have and love it. Focus on the duty of reproduction instead.
Adam began scolding Lilith more often. Each time, Lilith would fight back, clawing at him, and then disappear into the forest, refusing to see him for days.
Lucifer’s strategy to befriend such a human was, in his typical fashion, hopelessly unplanned. Just act friendly. For someone as talkative as he was, one-sided conversations were hardly a challenge.
"Lilith, hello! What are you doing? Oh, eating grapes? Have you ever thought about crushing them and drinking the juice? I once stepped on some grapes and forgot to clean it up. Silly me! Oh, wait, I shouldn’t have said that. Ha ha, just ignore it. Anyway, a few days later, I smelled something nice, and it was coming from where I’d crushed those grapes. I haven’t tried it, but if you let them sit for a few days and then drink—hey, where are you going? Oh, to get some water. Have you ever thought about spreading seeds by water or wind instead of planting them one by one? It could be more interesting and easier than placing them carefully. Ah, I see you’re not interested. Wait! Be careful, there are thorns—oh, you’re hurt already. Let me see your arm. I can... Lilith! Don’t just walk away!"
"Are you trying to teach me something, or do you want something else?"
"What?"
"Well, I’m not interested in either, so leave me alone, you feathered duckling thing."
Even other angels had leaved Lucifer alone. Some of them looked at him with pity. Lilith completely ignored him and didn’t respond.
It wasn’t until later that Lucifer realized she had grown tired of both the ‘Angels’ and ‘Man’.
"Hey, duckling. What’s that?"
One day, Lilith pointed to a tree and called over a high-ranking angel with respectfully.
"We’re allowed to eat all the fruits of Eden, but we’re strictly forbidden from going near that tree. The angels and Adam won’t tell me why."
Lucifer, who disliked rules above all else, still respected their importance. When he saw what Lilith was pointing to, even his gaze faltered and his mouth went silent. But this was the beginning of his long-held dream to grant free will to humans—or perhaps a small reward for his long unspoken affection. It was a pursuit of reason that he believed only he could provide her.
"That tree? Want to get a closer look?"
Without hesitation, he took Lilith’s hand and led her toward the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It was a massive and beautiful tree, even more sumptuous than the other fruits of Eden. The leaves, shimmering seductively, and the red fruit reflected in both Lilith’s and Lucifer’s eyes.
"This is called a ‘Miracle’." Lucifer said.
"A miracle?"
"It’s also called magic. It creates light, forms the heavens and the earth. It’s the power to create worlds."
"...Why is it here?"
"Well... not all of His intentions are shared with the angels."
Lilith slowly looked at the small archangel. Lucifer continued to gaze proudly at the tree, his eyes shining. Noticing Lilith’s gaze, he smiled broadly.
"It’s not just about creating the world. With magic... Ah, yes! It can even transform into a serpent!"
In an instant, the angel before her vanished, and as Lilith’s gaze dropped to the ground, a small and white serpent was looking up at her. Lilith, with wide eyes, knelt and observed the serpent. There was no malice, awe, anger, or obedience—only pure curiosity. The serpent, which was much smaller compared to the towering woman, made Lucifer swallow nervously. Lilith cautiously extended her finger to stroke the serpent’s head and said.
"Magic is quite… cute."
Lucifer had a premonition that he would cherish and remember this moment for the rest of his life. Seizing the opportunity, he wrapped around Lilith’s finger and climbed up to her palm. The unfamiliar sensation of the serpent wrapping around her finger made her momentarily stiffen, but Lilith soon lifted him up. The serpent’s eyes met the woman’s gaze.
"Isn’t using magic in front of humans forbidden?"
"As long as you don’t get caught."
"You have no plan."
"I’ve heard that a lot."
"...So, if I ask a question, as long as it’s not caught, you’ll answer?"
"I knew you’d be sharp."
Who decides what is good and evil, and what are the criteria?
What distinguishes beasts, sand, and humans?
Are pain and tears to be taboo for certain beings?
Can one love and simultaneously hate?
The two troublemakers, Heaven and Earth, exchanged countless questions and answers. Lucifer repeatedly taught Lilith, using magic to demonstrate directly until she understood. She despised pain but was not afraid of it. She feared death and decay but was curious about them.
Such negativity was not originally a thought permitted for humans, but perhaps some impurity in the creation process left by the angels introduced it. The seeds of rebellion grew from their fears and desires for knowledge. As these seeds grew and the exchange of questions and answers between them continued, unknown emotions began to blossom in the hearts of Lucifer and Lilith.
"Adam, humans can create their own worlds too."
"What?"
Adam, who was sitting with Lilith overlooking Eden, turned with a raised eyebrow at her sudden statement. He saw sadness in his wife’s eyes as she stared into the distance.
"Why do you think the angels call this place paradise? It’s because everywhere else is barren and wretched."
"What are you talking about?"
"Why didn’t He make the entire world like Eden when He created it?"
"Lilith."
"If, hypothetically, I had the power to create the world—"
"Enough!"
Adam hurriedly covered Lilith’s mouth and glanced around nervously. He felt her struggling but kept his hand firmly in place, growling in a low voice.
"I’ve tolerated your strange remarks up until now, but this is too much. Not only are you not following His will, but now you dare to belittle His power? There’s a limit to how irreverent you can be."
Lilith, glaring at Adam, gave him a sharp punch in the ribs. With a grunt, Adam’s hand was released, and Lilith spoke quietly.
"You were curious too, weren’t you? Why we must obey without question. We are the first beings in the world, as important as He and the angels, yet why must we live in fear and awe, confined to the laws we’ve been given? You were curious too."
"Please be quiet! I don’t have those doubts anymore. It’s just the way it is, Lilith. It’s just how it is! He has set all the paths and purposes, and as long as we don’t stray, we can live happily forever. Why question it?"
"Happiness forever? How can you think this is happiness without ever experiencing unhappiness? Just because the angels tell us we are happy beings?"
Lilith stepped closer and grasped her husband’s arm.
"Adam, think with your own mind. More humans will come into the world besides us. If they all live only within Eden, they will all be like us. There will just be a second Adam, a third Lilith, a fourth Adam. They’ll be born with the same fate, living in the same world."
"And... what’s wrong with that? Good worlds are being created continuously."
"Then what is the significance beyond being the first? We were just the fortunate dust that the gods picked up first, not something we labored and cultivated ourselves."
"That alone makes it special! Can’t you be grateful just for being born a special being? Is this because of that angel, Lucifer? I’ve never liked him. Always spouting strange ideas. I’ll have to speak to the Seraphim. He must be banned from Eden."
"Don’t do that! I’m the one who said it, so why try to make trouble to him?"
Lilith scratched and clung to Adam’s arm, and a struggle ensued.
“Lilith? There you are.”
After searching for a while, Lucifer finally found Lilith. In the heart of a dense and shadowy forest where sunlight barely reached, the usually fierce woman was hiding her face with her hair and sobbing quietly. Lucifer looked at Lilith’s tear-streaked face and wrapped her in his wings, pulling her close.
“Oh, dear... Looks like you and Adam had a bad fight this time. It’s okay, Lilith. It’s alright to cry when you’re angry and sad. Let it all out.”
With her breaths came soft sobs. Lucifer gently stroked her back and head, covering her with his wings to keep her cries from escaping. After a while, Lilith lifted her reddened eyes and wiped her tears. Lucifer caressed her cheeks and asked,
“Feeling a bit better now?”
“......”
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Alright. … How about we go to the valley? Swimming might make you feel better. I could turn into a frog and—”
“No. I don’t want that.”
“Okay… Then… should we lie down in the fields?”
“I don’t want that either.”
“Or, or maybe we could pick a bunch of fruit—”
“No! I don’t want that! I don’t want anything here!”
The angel and the woman’s eye met.
“I just want you.”
In that brief moment, Lucifer remembered the first time Lilith was created. He remembered the moment he himself was created. God loved Lucifer, and Adam, and Lilith. Lucifer loved God, and so did Adam and Lilith. They had decided to offer the love meant for God to each other. Their love would ultimately lead to their ruin. Still, Lucifer, an angel with a free spirit from the beginning, wished for Lilith to choose her own path in life.
Lucifer kissed Lilith. It was the only thing he could offer her that neither God nor the angels could give. Lilith, with her tearful eyes blinking, closed her eyes and took in Lucifer’s breath. Trembling with a touch of fear, they embraced each other, their hands gently caressing each other’s shoulders and faces. With their faces flushed with emotion, Lucifer kissed her face and neck repeatedly, saying,
“I love you, Lilith. ...Haha, damn it, I’m doom now.”
“Damn those angels, what do they know.”
“You’re right... Lilith, you know what? Intercourse doesn’t have to be for reproduction.”
“Hmm?”
“You can do it without the duty of having children, without feeling pain.”
“Is that possible?”
Lucifer gently kissed the bridge of her nose and smiled. Kneeling, he kissed her knees and spread those.
“I’m one of those damn angels. I can give you some useful lessons.”
“What do you gain from doing all this?”
“Were you just a minion of evil? A seraph with six wings?”
When Lucifer looked up, Seraphim and Adam were glaring down at him from the judgment seat with cold expressions. The chains binding him clinked ominously. It was a dreadful feeling, but he could not lie.
“I sought nothing.”
“Then why did you give magic and bring evil into this world?”
“Without selfish desire, I just loved her. That’s why I gave her freedom.”
Adam, looking disgusted, shouted, and Seraphim, with a grave face, rendered the judgment. The two sinners would be cast into hell forever. The angel would no longer see beauty and goodness. Lucifer looked back at Lilith. With her black horns, Lilith was gazing resolutely ahead and gave her lover a faint smile.
The banishment occurred immediately after the trial.
Hell was horrific. It was dark, and only a blood-red moon illuminated the world. All kinds of monsters bared their teeth, and there were no rules or morals. The halo above Lucifer's head lost its light and fell, looking disheveled on the ground. Warmth, goodness, and beauty were no longer visible and would no longer be granted to them. As Lilith surveyed the surroundings and turned back to Lucifer, he was kneeling before the fallen halo, praying.
“Lucifer? What are you doing?”
“…My final prayer.”
“What? You’re praying now when the God has abandoned you?”
Lucifer did not answer but continued with his prayer.
“Father, I cannot dare to seek forgiveness, but I offer my repentance. I also repent for not regretting. All the choices we made, despite everything, were meant to live freely.”
“Lucifer, look up.”
Lilith grabbed Lucifer’s chin and helped him to his feet, and tears ran down his cheeks. Lilith wiped his face and spoke firmly.
“This is the chance.”
“What?”
“Look around. There’s nothing here. I’ve never seen such barren and empty place! We can create everything from scratch. Regardless, all beings in the world have been tainted by evil and free will, and more will come to hell.”
“…We’ll create a world with our own hands.”
“Yes, Fuck! Now we can swear as much as we want here! Lucifer, even though God has abandoned us, He has granted us one last mercy. We are here together.”
A tear-streaked smile slowly spread across the face of the fallen angel. Lucifer picked up the halo, now just a metal chunk. It was the first magic performed in hell. The halo split into two and shrank into small rings that fell onto Lucifer’s palm. As he placed one on Lilith’s finger, Lucifer said,
“Remember when you asked what marriage means? It’s about being together for life, loving, and having the duty of reproduction. Since you love to travel, we don’t have to be together all the time. There’s no need for reproduction. Do as you wish. I…”
He caressed the ringed hand for a while and began to cry again. His voice, mixed with sobs, spoke out,
“Lilith, I’m truly afraid for the first time. I’ve become the most hated being in the world. Will you still love me?”
“Yes.”
“Haha… I also do love you. I vow to love you in good times and bad, in sickness and health, to dedicate my entire life to you… Will you marry me?”
Lilith placed the other ring on Lucifer’s hand and said,
“Yes. I chose you. I will always support you, love you, and share my life with you.”
There was a vow’s kiss. The birth of the very first proposal and wedding of universe, with no flower petals, fanfares, or blessings. The two sinners fell deeply in love with their sins, shattering into pieces, wrapped in the flames of human malice and hatred, singing the song of the night.